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#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that
capaldiera · 1 month
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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wisteria-lodge · 2 years
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bird primary (in the process of creating a system) + burned snake secondary
Well. I read the fifth draft of all of this. You're a Bird primary, you are, I know you don't like them, but that's because you've got a definition of Bird primary in your head that's just... wrong. I know you're not reading my analysis, but you probably are going to have to read *an* analysis at some point, so pick someone whose style you like, and have fun.
As for secondary, yeah, you're burnt. That's actually the theme of this whole submission. It's in parts, misspelled, very hard to read, and has a whole lead in about why you're not trying and why you don't even care about this anyways. And I think that's actually the point. I expect in your head, there's a bit of 'If I don't try, I can't fail.' Which is too bad really, because you're clearly smart and creative. There's good in here. If it were a little more accessible, people would read it. But you ask me to write a clear paragraph summarizing my thoughts, and that's what I'm doing.
(Oh, and all your fantasies are very Snake secondary fantasies. So I figure that's probably what's underneath everything else.)
~ Wisteria
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Sort me submission. full Version of final Draft. EMAIL me your thoughts please.
Final Draft-Read this whole thing, as it's the last one.Warning: I jump from thought to thought v. quickly, so every sentence may be a different thing.
some stuff, pls sort me if you can but know it will be taken as a guideline. also, pls add me to ur masterlist post smwhere as an ANONYMOUS person.
also sorry but i cant be bothered with grammar or spelling or punctuation or writing full out rn so pretedn this is a text message and it should be easier to decoed, especially with abreviations and punctuation and such stuff. i am really really really really really really sorry in advance for... well i dont really know why. plus one more thing or two actually before getting to it. i dont rlly know how tmblr works, like how do we communicate, can u answer, can i see posts, etc. just a word of warning, this will. no IS a series of ramblibgs and my own thoughts and dissections of my primary and secondaries. i did read your version of sortinghouse chats but i couldnt be bothered to adjusted any of my results accordingly (sorry abt that and no offence meant, i read your article and it was pretty good; i especially liked the way you analysed the different and most common forms each primary and secondayr can take.) Anyway, getting back to it. Just one last note/thing; this is the last thing/note, i promise you: I really dislike labels (im reluctanct to say/write hate bc no one should hate anything without a lot of whys and analysing how it feels, the possible reason for the felt hate and whether there's any other way) bc i feel/think/kbow/believe that they limit who i am and any potential growth. ive categorised primaries and secondaries as which i believe are my actual ones and why and the other three houses in models 1, 2 & 3, bc i connect with all of them in some way.
Finally, let's get to it!
I was really EXTREMELY stuck on primary, until (having read 1st Tiffany Aching Discworld book recentely) and finding my most personally relatable quote from that book online smwhere in pinterest with the Slytherin label and in the sortingchat (i mimssed a word, didn't i?) smwhere i feel inclined to believe that, being the selfish leadership-aspiring and valuing cunning in my top 5 values person i am, slytherin is my primary. however, let me break this dow further. if slytherin is my primary, then i include the whole WORLD in my loyalty bc i have a such deep loyalty and duty to the Earth and everyone in it because they are MINE and i used to be rlly jealous of anyone and anything that would take away MY world but i reason myself out of it now bc thats possessive and mean and cruel and bad but on the other hand this world and planet is MINE to protect and be selfish abt, but i also (sorry abt all the rambling) think ive kicked myself out of my circle of care bc even tho the world and this planet and this environment and these species and humanity and ppl are MINE AND MY OWN TO PROTECCT AND CHERISH aAND BE COMPLETELY SELFISH ABT (but selfishneesss is bad. no ti's not. yes it is. NO. IT'S NOT. It depends ow it's used and potrayed and the entire world is mine, my planet and my selfish spaec. well except myself bc all i ever do are bad things for other ppl), i am a horrible, terrible self-centered person that also smhow have a higher, more close-knit circle that im not in bc selfishness=bad and possesseviness= evil bc ur not allowing the others freedom and choices but i want to protect MINE and be selfish abt it but it's incredibly guilty too and.. im rumbling. too much said abt this, moving on. oh wait; but i could also want so much to be this primary that im ignoring my biases of wanting to have this primary bc it i relate to tiffany's quote so much and it soundsand is kinda cool (uhh, this is rlly hard to make sense of, even for me. sorry abt that. probably not even suited for the trash can, nvm a sophisticated and heartfelt profile like yours. ) ANYWAY i also feel like a gryffindor and hufflepuff primary smtimes, but that stuff comes a bit ater. i would say hufflepuff is my primary model 1 bc fairness is one of top five values and the idea everyone has inherent value because theyre ppl is pretty true. i find that i put myself down if i base my opinions of oteh ppl on how others think of them but have no problem putting them down myself after meeting and de-humanising them. absolutely hypocrtical of me.
according to me, (but i have an insiders perspective which isnt always the most claer. and ooh random thought: well done and thanks and i really like and really appreciate how you say smth nice abt everyone, no matter orting, on ur blog), gryffindor is my primary model 2 because authenitcity and integrity are good but hard to do but i dont think or know if id drop them, just like i dont know if id drop a slytherin's values (which i rlly cannot be bothered listing agin after doing so above. and wow, thank you for letting me rant to you, random person on the internet, in so many ways and on so many topics. anyway, continuing. ) its like yeah gryffindor values are good and maybe i used to feel them rlly well but i dnot think they go 100% with who i am but deinifnetely above 81.6% (not a random number, took time to come to this deliberaion of a decimal/percentage. wow so long and not even finished primaries yet. hmm, rnadom thought: i wonder what id feel and think and how id react if i was reading my own post thing on the internet without me having written it...)
anyawas, i think im done with gryffindor and cant find anything morw to say on it. for ravenclaw its just. no. not at all.
why would you find an external morality, based on sm stupid shit (sorry for the swearing, it just came out but i can change it if u wish) smone else came up with that u havent approved or u dont feel is right and that isnt ur own ORIGINAL "THIS/THESE ARE MINE" idea. like honestly (sorry for non-understanding. ha, one of my values is understanding yet i dont even try to do it with others. ) how can you bear to do that and live with urself? im rlly curious but also extrelemy confused!!??!?!?
okay, now seconds. slytherin doesnt feel rght either but it's the one that feels the most rigth and its weird but i dont why it feels the most right when whoever is reading this is probably thininh lioin but i think i cant do anything right (let's establish early on, my opinion= cheating is bad, v bad; for example like on exams and stuff. but rule-breaking is smtimes necessary and lying is good to stop others seeing u as who u truly are or upending their perspective of you as a perfect figure but it can be bad if it stops u from facing ur issues or managing them and can also be fun- like the time i convinced smone i didnt know brands existed in cars and thought they existed only for other thisgs like clothes and shops and toys and etc and in cars they were names and it was so much fun fooling that person and i still feel slightly proud of it but HOPE TO EVERYTHING desperately THAT THEY WONT READ THIS because that would ruin it and they wudlnt trust whtever i told them after that.) Anyways, im the least observant person on the planet anyways and dont think i could improvise at all in a topic i know onthing abt so maybe rapid-fire bird but im also kindof shy and embarrased of who i am so that factor into it and i have no idea why im telling a random stranger all this stuff but anyways.
secondary model 1- ravenclaw bc i want to imrpoviesse so badly its such a vuluable skill and generally fun and good way to problem-slove but im completely terrible at it and rlly clumsy and not brave enough to actively decide that i should be my authentic self through imrpovisation or competent enough to get the joy of it and then settle into a neutral state that encourages other to assume im anything other than a snake. how did this part end up being abt a snake secondayr rather than a bird? dont know, could know if i bothered to think abt it but dont actually care enough to cotemplate the possibilitiesof reasons why. if im delving into snake, i assuem i dnnt have anything else to say abt ravenclawand its tmie to move into the next model. oh wait one last thing: i want to improvise but am horrible at it so my first plan is to find as many references as possible to the thing i want to do then mesh them together in my own version to create a plan and then improvise and change the plan and its rules based on the outcome or/and situation. and collecting and becoming slightly proficient in different hobbies and info and subjects is kind of fun but also stressful but i nice place to relax and unwind and just search up random stuff im interested in and curious abt but it's more like a coping mechnaism used quite often now.
secondary moel 2- gryffidor bc i find that most times when i dont have enough data, i tend to bluster through it and stick with my cause without backing down but unable to back it up. however ive mostly noticed this either shows as ragged persitence and gulit and sense of failure when i get smth wrong or continuing ot argue for smth, when i dont rlly believe in it or would rather get more data or would prfeer to manipulate us out of this situation but ofc mnanipulation is evil but i...i...i... i likre it and it's the best way and by extension reading each others body language and position others is evil bc it doesnt give the freedom bc im manipulating them into thiking that way but on the other hand i could be a bird bc of specific language uses such as "data" and "fist plan" above, even tho those are only two factors of it. its like i wanna be special, a chosen one but at the same time i konow am not and can never be bc im not good enough or observant enough or socially daptive enough or myself enough or soccially aware enough especially of specific sociopolitical undercurrents that influence most things (not everyone and everytihng because v.few thigs influence absolutelu EVRYTHING) or empatheic enough or clever enough or cunning enough (whats the difference bweteen clever and cunning wanyways, except for cunning having a more negative connotations/misconception?) or too blunt which i know i have to be bc... ... well i dont rlly know, or too tlkative which stops others from voiving theri opininons (and hionesty, good luck with this and sorry for dumping this mess of a text/explanation and my mess as person on you) just generally a person atl all or eeven just human, quite often feling alien.
secondary model 3- i fell like hard work is important and maybe i used to do it but ow its a no can do thing for me nucless it really REALLY important, bc theres other more important values and it would and could be good but am a terible person anyways and ... i guess i show up at things but life is more than just showing up. theres got to be a method to ur madness (and wow, ddi i rlly just say, no, write that?) life is more about taking charge behind the scenes then exploiting it for the good and making everyone see you're their best option for leadership (if it's actually true, bc smtimes it's not and there are others better suited) bc of cunning and bravery and creaitivity and compassion and empathy and logicality in one neat package, when im not being a selfish person who foolishy and mistakenly believes they can take care of all that is MINEEEE! and ive probably maade this very confusinf gor you but dont u worry its evry confusing for myself as well, actually.
tahnk you for reading this and enjoy your ilife and sorry for the absolute mess that is this piece of writing.
ohh, and please list clealry the resullts at the very end of the discussion to reiterate them, if possible bs ive noticed that u dont frequently do that on the masterlist published articles and its annoying bc i find myself having to scroll up and untagle your complicated wordings of stuff which is quite tedious and erllay annoyong smtimes. thanks for crreating this website, and i hope you have whatever dreams you want to have in your sleep tonight and that you follow your real-life ones as well.
update: from reading ur analyses of buffy world i relate to following passage sooooooooooooooooooooo much. :
"Her threat to Ben/Glory is “If she ever comes near me and mine again (but without the me, bc im not worth it but my people are my and my responsibilty alone and i will protect them and be selfish abt them and absolutelu worth it, but i dont know what to do abt it bc the world is so bug and its quite selfish to waste so much time and energy into improving it, and quite hard but. it. is MINE.) and i guess ive kinda kicked myself out??!?!)….” It’s a Loyalist primary talking. Sure Buffy talks about the Slayer destiny like it’s her Gryffindor Cause, but really she’s out there to protect her people. And when those people betray her, it’s like the ground under her feet disappears. Buffy at her lowest is the scarred-up loner from Cordelia’s “Wish” vision: a Petrified Slytherin who doesn’t “play well with others,” waiting for something to kill her. An isolated Buffy is an unhealthy Buffy, so her arc is about the way her inner circle expands. When we first meet her, priorities are self-care (good hair, pretty shoes, cute boys, a place on the cheerleading squad) and maybe her mom. Buffy starts to include the Scoobies, then the Scoobies’ people, then Dawn, until eventually she’s a general leading the Potentials. She’s on her way to deciding that the world is her people, an it’s all her responsibility. "
except im not my responsibility because.. well im a bad person who shoudnt have responsibility to or for myself, rlly.
but the people i used to be... well, most of the wre and still are better versions of me and my future will evolve me as a person until i am the person i could be. - just weird thought that i noted down bc i dont get hoew others think that when you change you remain the same person. you dont. also, its weird but, more generally, the world is in my nner circle but i have levels of relatoponships!!???!?!?? as in not worth knowing, acquitancee, interesting person/want to know/ could know/ could become best friends with because of good mix of similarities and diferences an those in my elevated inner circle that id actually trust and those in my full and complete inner circle that are all my responsibility, that i should try pushing them to improve and beetter myself and that i should protect bc they're mine. not me and mine, just mine, possesively and agressively. p.s. i should probably mention, i think both my primary and secondary are burned, whatver they are bc no primary feels completely natural or smth i should be doing (but slytherin is the closest to feeling right) and i dont think im competent in anything rlly or good at anhthing much, outside of my opinions bc the questions is now to you= how would you sort me? for more information, email me. thanks and & bye. Update: plus one more, hopefully, last thing. i feewhi dont rly know how to write this but is it possible to have the world as in my inener circle but not have all the ppl in it? like have he world itself and select ppl, bc that is what i do much more than having all the world's ppl as well as the world. the part i rlly relate to iabt tiffaniy's quote is the tuurn selfishness into a weapon thing because even tho its bad its a good and essential part of who i am that i dont want to change even tho i can and could if i wanted because selfishness as a weapon as tiffanny uses it is inerehtely extremely powerful and feels right. like inistead of blaming myself for selfishness, keep it and adjust it to who i am so it feels like it should feel. and also maybe hufflepuff mprimary model 1 bc i realise that , yse while i do relate to its fairness, i think the best way, not necessearaley the right way but the best and most practical and applicapale the way ppl will actually listen to and respond is hte hufflepuff primary and i relate to its fairness and inherant value that each person has but its like i know it's ot me but i feel pressured to make that me in a way??!?1!! if that makes sense. thanks a lot and hopefully last update. oh and if ppl not in inner circle leave i dont care (and usually when picking new friends, it means i have observed them for a while and found that i relate to most of what they do and eventually approach them and after a couple of conversations think this mine from now on no one will harm them (or if they do, i find myself thikning of how to get revenge without being caught and if theyre an important enough perosn, evetually accomplishing it. ) and if ppl in inner circle try to annoy me i mostly ignore them if im healthy and in a good place and if they attack mine or am feeling particularly bad that day, then i will call them out on it like its my cause but fairness is mine not a specific cause. bye, thanks, sorry for the many updates and enjoy ur day!!!! P.S- if i was u, I'd wait at least a day before analysing bc i may send more updates as they come into my mind and/or i experience circumstances. also, one time i was remembering the time my dance teacher taught us some history abt the dance, where the all the men soldiers were killed by the enemies and the women self-sacrificed themselves and their children so they would never be forced to go in the enemy's army but even tho i can understand that last part, i cant relate to it bc in their positino i would pretend to be loyal to the enemy and get high enough to be able to kill the metaphorical head of operations and eventually lead a resistance behind the scenes wit all the information i would have gained as a "loyal" prisoner, but that would probably not succeed bc im not a competent
enough actor or that comfortable abt putting on a mask or good enough at sensing undercurrents in social interactions so i would get captured and put to death for treason in that nacient environment and i woudnt have been able to gain revenge for mine who had all self-sacrificed or help whatever left of my people; but when my acquitance asked abt it i said it was a school history project bc i didnt want them to know that i did dancing or was at all much physically active both bc that doesnt suit my cultivated image of an academic-bookworm nd my friend isnt that physically active and bc i like my projected image is good bc it causes others to undersitame me. and idont rlly factor rules into my plans ( hmm, maybe ravenclaw smth?) or in my adjusted on the spot ones or in anth rlly, i break rules when neccessry for smth or think its unimportant compared to why i break it but i dontgo out of my way to do it. anyway thanks again and bye and so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry a gazzilion times over for breaking my promise before and not remembering to copy final version into this and rlly especially sorry or this confusing mess of a ruminating rumble turmoil, clutter, uddle an barely coherent mishmash of thoughts. Update-here was a period of three years when i trusted absoluely no one bc i thought i shouldnt trust anyone since theyre all using me and no one rlly cares anyone and i dont have anything to offee them anyway nor can i let anyone see me or be truly close to me otherwise I'll hurt them or they'll betray me or both. Then i grew curious abt what my sibling was doing woth the neighbour kids and went to see and now after five years i semi-trust them but i dontvknow how or why they care abt me or being my friends since all i can do is hurt them. And we dont interact at school so im rlly lonely there most of the time bc even tho subjects r interesting and the reading and writing and hoework/studying and irganising and other stuff i do at break is absorbing and necessary it would be awesome tk have a companion, someone i could truly open up to eventually, who sees who i am and acceprs it without pity or endorsement. and even tho ive been lycky in the neighbor friends i feel so lonely and removed and isolated and alien everywhere also and im pushing everyone away more intently than that zero-trust-period and i dont know why or how to change that but im so tired of veing lonely so i approached an acquaintance thats on "possible bff", "could make great friend" and "to become froends with somewhen because theyre interesting and have 3+ similarities ans some differences from me " lists and i thought for a whike what the best approach would be but its eight years abd i miss having friends at school and im so tired of being alone and the constant itch of loneliness that i opted for the vlunt apprtoach to see how they react and simply sat down next to them and asked if they wanted to be friends. (last time i used this tool/technique 7yrs ago, everyone on the grp stroll laughed at me when i asked and kept on looking at me with those 'oh that was so cute' glances and pitying looks so i havent been proactive in friendship-making since then.) And it is going well a couple of days later; our conversations are fun and engaging and thought provoking and meaningful and i feel close to that person, like ive weve been conversing for months instead of days even tho i smtimes think the person might hace been better of without me bc i dont know if im at all loyal rlly and truly or if i actually even contribute to the relationship at all but life was generally so much harder and more tiring and flavourless without smone i could hang out with but am u even rlly building thisrelationship for them or just me and my pathetic loneliness? Lifes so much easier and fuller and brighter with close friendships- someone there for u, hoping they stay bc they care and telling them when ur in a bad place or the days not goingvwell and u hope desperately they react... appropriately. Its just so hard to trust when u know they
could be playing or manipulating u without u even knowing and especially when, in my opinion, theres not that much of a reason to maintain a friendahip with me bc i dont thinkni count as a reason, i start to wonder and search for their true motive. Plus if im responsible for that possible friend, i might fail in that responsibility or hurr them or forget smth meaningful to them or something else worse that i cant come up with rn. today, me and that person (friend?) couldn't meet at school's break and i felt so lonely and lost. i did find them afterwards and they explained they were finishing a project but still, such a close attachment from me in that short a time period feels weird and unnatural but the attachment itself feels and is calm, joyful, interesting, happy, engaging, serene, peaceful. still kinda awkward but we're getting there.
Update- A couple of new conclusions/possibilities I could also be a burned gryffindor primary with an extremely strong slytherin model or gryffindor primary with slytheirn ideals because i find myself writing and saying "i feel this" and "I feel that way abt this" and i check to see if things feel/sound right. i could also burned ravenclaw with a strong slytherin model. burned bc of what i think abt that house but i doubt it bc it doesnt feel right or me at all. lastly i could also be burned hufflepuff bc i dehumanise whole grps of ppl but i dont like doing that and dont want to do it, so im slwly stopping bc ppl should be judged on who they are not who others perceive them as and prefer/am comfortable with a small amount of friends and a limited inner circle of humans and tho i dont rlly trust the world it is still mine and i have a responsibility towards it. and yes, i would feel slighlty guilty if i abandoned a stranger in need for a friend in need but i owe mine my loyalty and help and advice and anything i can give or do or sacrifice for them; i also know that friend well so im the one that should and will help them and i'll make time for the stranger in need later, once and if mine are compltetly 100% fine and sorted out. and if anyone ever harms my inner circle of humans that i love (platonically or/and familially), respect, admire, value, trust (tho i dont nkow when that creeped up on me, bc i shouldnt trust others; its an easy way to get hurt or betrayed) and feel responsible for, what i call my "demonic anger" comes out. i named it demonic bc it feels so fiery and dark and pitiless and blazing and mercenary and ruthless and scorching and merciless and fierce that even those who its used for their defense/protection back away and cant bear it to stay friends with me, mocking/deriding/ridiculing me in front or/and behind my back and im afraid of that scorn and jeering but also afraid of trusting and my anger but these past few days of approaching that person at school and actively deciding to choose to trust smone again... they've been heaven on earth. Final. Couple of last thoughts before stop sending updates and wait for you to email me back.
28.3.2022 today, me and that new friend asked each other the question that if your closest person was a murderer that killed 50 ppl and was now badly injured, would you leave them to bleed out? no, i said, i would try to stop the bleeding because yes justice and fairness have their neccesery situations and are all well and good but what about the preson themselves andd how well you know them and ur responsibilty and the way they depend on you for smth/smths and the selfish way that u need them too? and then take them to a hospital anonymously and stay with them and try to reform them and understand why they became a murderer and if it can be helped aand even if they keep murdering others, they must eventually realize it's wrong, correct? and i will encourage thm to stop murdering others and i might call the police but if they are treated badly, iw ill btrak them out. and i think im slowly unburning my slytherin primary bc im gradually trusting my human inner circle of 5 and those who are gradually building up to that inner circle with more quantity and more true info and more accurate info abt me but im still not completely there and generally trust must be earned from the ground up, so i dont trust others the general population. but it can also decrease from zero to negative (dehumanisation or cotmept or dislike). but i know that i dont deserve to be in my inner circle because i often hurt ppl and am not good enough for them anyyways. i want to be a gryffindor bcuz a moral compass is right and morally correct and it's what the other gender is constantly told to be so i break stereotypes if im a gryfindor primary but hufflepuff is good ecause networking is a compulsory tool for my ambitions and if iwant any of my projects to succeed and its fairness is good but unrealisitic and impractical because ti cant and shouldnt be applied equally but to those who you do the following: trust, repect, admire, feel comfortable with, can drop any and all disguises and pretenses whiel with thee, and can and do talk to them about everything including difficult topics and it's almost never awkard and you can just relax and have funu adn allow yourself to hope they wont judge or criticise or betray because if u dont take that first step they wont either, so u have to be strong and brutally honest and just take that first step in trusting smone and showing them the staircase to ur human inner circle where i would hide their crimes and try to understand why if they make it even a third of the way up that staicase and into the first level of trust as a metaphorical staircase landing with a door for them to get out of staircase if, on that first examination they'll undertake, they fail. but that landing's door will become glass through which we can peek into each other's life and knock on to answer the door if they need me for smth bc i still have a slight responsibilty to them but htey have almost nil chance of entering staircase again unless they change dramatically and dont fail a more intense but shorter series of 3+ tests bc theyll almost certainly betray/fail me again.
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there-will-be-a-way · 4 years
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1/?? ok so first off im really sorry for sending this ask but you seem as good a person to ask as any. dont feel any pressure to answer or even read through this all tho if you dont want to. this will be a really long series of asks so definitely feel free to ignore them if they overwhelm you, because i cant really keep my thoughts straight atm, but ill number them all and sign off with a '- H.'
2/?? So for starters, I’m not asking for a diagnosis, obviously you’re not a therapist, I’m just asking for any advice/opinions you might have and want to offer up. So I’m 19, I dropped out of school when I was seventeen, almost never attended before that, tried to get a job a few months ago but was fired after a few days of work because I stopped showing up (I was in a numb, dissociative state for the full work days, and I had to get drunk just to be able to have the courage to go in) - H
3/?? I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, autism and c-ptsd all when I was 16 because it was obvious that I was having a lot of trouble functioning in society and socialising with anyone. I have always dissociated a LOT, having out-of-body experiences, talking to people without feeling like I was really personally choosing my words and they were instead just coming out of my mouth from nowhere, feeling numb and having a lot of problems with memory. - H
4/?? I thought for a little while at the beginning of this year that I might have DID because of all the dissociation and occasionally having short spurts of lost time, but I quickly dismissed it because I didn’t think I had any other personalities in my body (I don’t know if that’s the right way to talk about them, forgive me if I say something confusing or wrong, I didn’t know much about DID until very recently). - H
5/?? Anyway, in recently I found your blog and looked through a few of your posts (not many, just the last couple of pages here), and I thought, what if I do have personalities? I often feel like im not fully in control of myself and I have heard voices before, although it doesn’t happen much and I never connected either of these to a definitive personality. - H
6/?? So I decided to try to separate myself into different people (I don’t think that’s the right term but bear with me) and I came up with a list of nine initially. And the more I tried to categorise my behaviour/opinions/hobbies into each of them the more afraid I got, because I think i might actually have DID after all? It was very easy to do, and its very easy for me to see everyone as seperate entities - H
7/?? Except im nineteen so surely SOMEONE would have noticed I had it before now? Even if I didn’t, someone else should have? Although most people who know me would probably write off my behaviour as a combination of the effects of aspergers and ptsd, so they wouldn’t even consider something else. - H
8/?? Also, I read about switching, and different personalities having very distinct voices and presences and I don’t know if its just that I haven’t examined these facets of myself before, but I don’t think I have that? Maybe i just need to think on it more than i have, but im worried im just lying to myself because im so desperate for answers as to why i am the way i am. - H
9/?? So ultimately what im saying is, I don’t know if im lying to myself or if it might be a real possibility I have DID. Just from what ive written here, do you think theres any way I could have it, or is it obvious I probably dont? I think it would be useful to know if it would help me get more in touch with myself, because a lot of the time I don’t even feel like a real person. - H
Hey there 👋🏻
First of all, you are brave for reaching out and wanting to figure out what's going on with you so go you! However, it would be irresponsible of me to judge your situation based on the little information I have about you - and this goes for any stranger on the internet. This is definitely something you should bring up with a therapist, if you can, especially since your symptoms seem to cause you a lot of distress and disrupt your everyday life. Whatever your symptoms stem from, you deserve professional help.
So yeah, my advice would be to bring this up with a therapist and be open to all possible explanations. In the end what matters isn't so much the diagnosis but getting help for your symptoms. In the meantime I'd advice you to look into grounding techniques and practice them since you obviously struggle with dissociation. It can also be helpful to keep a journal and write about your experiences.
Lastly, there is a common misconception in your ask that I'd like to clear up: Dissociative Identity Disorder most often is a covert disorder. The disorder's purpose isn't to make the most elaborated and noticeable 'personalities' but to survive severe childhood trauma. That means different things for different people - and therefore the disorder is different for everyone - but most often dissociated parts of self (= the 'personalities') are so covert that it's common even for therapists to not notice the person has DID. Many people with DID have parts that act very similar and are hard, even impossible for others to tell apart or notice.
Anyway, I hope you understand that I didn't not answer your question because I'm being mean but because I don't want to cause you harm by misjudging your situation (I'm just a stranger on the internet).
I really hope that you can get the help you deserve since what you describe does sound distressing and is worth looking into. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending my support.
Take care!
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forestofdigne · 7 years
Text
i was tagged by @enjoltairemyasss​ thank you so much!!!
1. are you named after someone
My middle name is named after my aunt who is super rad and probably the only reason i wont change it
2. when is the last time you cried
like an hour or so ago lmao ive been really teary the past couple days
3. do you like your handwriting
sometimes? it changes about three times for each page that i write so sometimes its good and sometimes its awful
4. what is your favorite lunch meat
tbh im not really sure what this means? i dont think this is a thing in australia,, but from my knowledge probably chicken or salami
5. if you were another person, would you be friends with you
probably not, i think id find myself really annoying and clingy but maybe id be like. casual friends. get homework answers from myself and then leave
6. do you use sarcasm
yes always but its really deadpan sarcasm so it sounds like im being serious
7. do you have your tonsils
yep!!
8. would you bungee jump
only if i was with my friends or brother
9. what is your favorite kind of cereal
milo cereal or coco pops
10. do you untie your shoes when you take them off
unless theyre my hightops then no. who has the time
11. are you a strong person
i have spaghetti arms so definitely not physically, emotionally also not but mentally i like to think so (im categorising those as two different things fight me)
12. what is your favorite ice cream flavor
mint choc chip!!
13. what is the first thing you notice about people
i have literally no clue. maybe how they present themselves? like if they seem friendly, confident, lonely etc?
14. red or pink
im not really a fan of either unless theyre dulled down or something
15. what is your least favorite physical thing about yourself
its a toss up between the fact that i cant see fuck without my glasses, my hair is flat and floppy and that my collarbones pop out of place and cause Pain™
16. what color are your pants and shoes
pink pj pants with doggos on them and. fluffy brown/grey doggo slippers i really like dogs
17. last thing you ate
cereal
18. what are you listening to right now
some weird jazzy song on the radio playing from the kitchen
19. if you were a crayon, what shade would you be
either light blue or orange
20. what’s your favorite smell
honeysuckle!! it reminds me of primary school
21. last person you spoke to on the phone
my dad
22. favorite sport to watch
,,,,none
23. hair color
dark brown 
24. eye color
green
25. do you wear contacts
only if i have to, like im going to the beach or snorkelling
26. favorite food to eat
maybe pizza? or pancakes?
27. scary movies or comedy
BOTH!!!
28. last movie you watched
tbh it was the 1998 remake of the parent trap
29. color shirt you are wearing
its either black or very very dark blue, from a run i did a few years back
30. summer or winter
SUMMER. YOU CAN PRY THE 40 DEGREE HEAT FROM MY WARM DEAD HANDS
31. hugs or kisses
ive never been kissed and im not terribly big on hugs either but probably hugs
32. what book are you currently reading
Wild Swans by Jung Chang but lordy is it taking its time
33. who do you miss rn
the friends i havent seen since term ended
34. what’s on your mouse pad
i dont have one kvfhh
35. what’s the last show you watch
some disney channel show probably
36. what’s the best sound
birds because they can make any sound at all
37. rolling stones or the beatles
whom
38. furthest you ever travelled
sydney to england which is 2 flights, and the whole trip adding up to 24 hours. @ mum why did you have to move here
39. special talent
dont think i have one,,
40. where were you born
Sydney Australia, aka where ive lived my entire life
im gonna tag @sxnguisuga, @foxhole-way, @thestarswillwatch, @barakatastrofen, @courfeyracs-swordcane, @courf-the-goof, @robhasacoolcloud, @petit-teo and anyone else who wants to do it!! no pressure though, this is just for fun if you feel like it
4 notes · View notes
How reliable and beneficial is permanent (whole) life insurance, specifically with Northwestern Mutual Life?
"How reliable and beneficial is permanent (whole) life insurance, specifically with Northwestern Mutual Life?
i am debating whether to increase my investment or not
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Photo: http://i.imgur.com/oBPkdUi.jpg
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""Best Place for van insurance, young driver 24?""
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CAR INSURANCE QUESTION?
Hello, I was in a car accident 3 weeks ago today in Massachusetts but live in NH. The other guy swerved in my lane on the highway, although their were no witnesses and we still have no word on who was at fault. I was driving my boyfriends car which was no insured, although I have comprehensive coverage on mine. My insurance (gieco) will pay a $1000 pf my medical and have put a claim in for my boyfriends car. I was wondering if anyone knew if they would cover his car? As it looks like the guy who swerved in my lane doesnt have insurance either, as NH doesn't require car insurance. If anyone knows if it possible please let me know. An adjuster has already considered it a total loss. Thanks!""
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i know stupid question but i've always been curious 
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I have gotten another auto insurance company due to the rudeness and refusal to switch my monthly draft to another bank. I had one bank and to close due to some suspicious activity that indicated signs of fraud. When I called to tell my insurance company about this the lady was very rude to me and made remarks about not wanting to my payments, I have been on time with every payment. She didn't believe me and told me she would wipe all other accounts that I had with that bank. I truly honestly had to close my account and she won't take the new account. I have already got my new insurance ready to go just need cancel my old insurance. Would I be mean if said I am canceling because someone was rude to me and made my ordeal a joke?""
Cost of Insurance for Nissan 350Z?
I am 18 years old (about to turn 19) and gonna buy a 350Z (well my parents are). I have always wanted one and I am getting it for looks and commuting only. But to be safe, I will buy a police radar and install a kill switch as soon as I get it. My question is how much would insurance be for a 2004-2005 Nissan 350Z? Would it be better to buy the Z in my parents' name under my parents' insurance? Also, I am curious of how much do any of you pay for a car like a 350Z.""
Can the government require you to buy insurance?
In listening to the Supreme Court arguments about Obamacare a question keeps coming to mind. The major arguing point seems to be: Can the government constitutionally require people to buy health insurance? If the answer turns out to be no, does that mean the government can not require you any insurance? Like car insurance? Don't use the argument that driving is a privilege, not a right. There is ample judicial precedence that says owning a car & driving is, in fact, a right in the U.S. It certainly is necessary to get hired.""
Do you have to get insurance as soon as you get your license?
I plan on going to get my drivers license in a few weeks (hopefully I pass!) and I've been told you have to have insurance right away. I'm currently on my parents plan with my permit but it's not costing them anything. Their agent said to immediately notify her once I get my license. Could she have said this just because she thought I would be getting a car? I don't plan on getting a car anytime soon but drive my parents cars occasionally. So will the insurance go up any if I don't have my own car that needs to be insured? If so will it be a lot? All answers will be greatly appreciated, because my parents are trying to make me put off getting my license because their car insurance is sky high already because of all the tickets & wrecks my brother has gotten in & I really want my license! Thanks in advance!""
Is there any cheap insurance out there for students?
Hi, My name is Courtney and I'm looking to buy a car soon but I don't have car insurance. My parents wont put me on theirs so I need something really cheap because I'm a student and I don't have much money. Is there some place that offers coverage for low low prices?""
When to buy motorcycle insurance?
I'm planning to buy a used motorcycle from a private party within the coming month or so. My question is, do i buy the motorcycle first, take it home, then get it insured? Or do i legally have to buy insurance first before i can purchase it from the private party?""
What companies provide auto insurance for adult learners?
What companies provide auto insurance for adult learners? I am an international student in Ohio. I am older than 21. I get a learner's permit recently and am now looking to buy auto insurance. I am independent and can not be added to other people's policy. I have been searching the Internet, including Yahoo! Answer, for one week to buy auto insurance for adult learners. It seems the majority say I have to be added to other people's policy. Some say I can do it by myself without giving further details. It seems that no insurance companies are willing to give me a quote considering my situation. GEICO is willing to give me a quote one month before I get my DL. Are there some companies that give adult learners' auto insurance? Thanks in advance.""
Motorcycle insurance?
I want to get my motorcycle license this summer then buy an old bike to ride for awhile till i learn enough and buy a new bike later. But i want to know how much the insurance would cost me. Im 17 and live in California. And i want to get a 1985 Kawasaki. Whats the cheapest insurance i can get? How much is it?
How reliable and beneficial is permanent (whole) life insurance, specifically with Northwestern Mutual Life?
i am debating whether to increase my investment or not
What would my insurance be for a supra?
i will soon be 16. i get As and Bs occasional C. i will be insured with my mom and brother she is 51. My idea is to get a very cheap car and after about a year when im 17 i want to buy a supra with a salvaged title. nothing to bad done ive seen a few go for about 10k. so what do you guys/girls think will be the total insurance for the supra and the cheap car?
Cheapest Auto insurance?
Cheapest Auto insurance?
Heath insurance?
the comapny i work for is taking insurance premium out but the insurance premium is not being paid.......what can we do as employees?
How much should I expect to pay for car insurance?
I'm a 17 year old female that will drive a Vauxhall Corsa but it's kind of old like this one: http://www.ajb-enterprise.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/vauxhall-corsa-club-2001.jpg Does the amount of lessons/make of car/pass score change the price of insurance? All the insurance sites want me to enter my details, which I don't want to do. Is there a big difference between cost when I'm 17 compared with 18? Sorry for all the questions but thanks (:""
How much is car insurance?
im 16 and live in ny and i want to get a car.my mom said she would get me a car but car insurance would be too high.what would the cheapest company to use be for a teen driver?what would the price be?shes saying 3k a month for insurance.
Insurance Agency Tax Help 1120S?
I own an insurance agency. I have a seperate checking account for insurance premium funds. When we collect a insurance premium payment from a customer, the funds are deposited into this account and then we send our agency check to the insurance company. How are these funds treated on form 1120S?""
Motorbike Insurance Help!!! Please!!?
Im 16 and live in Ireland and have a provisional A1 license and im getting a road legal motorbike soon. I rang up quinn direct yesterday and got an insurance price for a 1999 Honda Rebel 125, Fully Comp. Bikes worth 1500. they quoted me 1685.70 and got the same quote from AON and there quote was 2575.. could anybody please tell me how much dearer it would be to get insured on lets say a honda cbr125 or aprilia rs125?? or maybe a honda nsr 125? i know the insurance will go up quite dramatically but would anyone have a rough estimate??""
Is it normal for a doctor to tell you you have to pay $90 a year if you use health insurance?
I live in Colorado and I got a letter from my doctor today telling me I have to pay $90 a year to use insurance with him. He also said that every time they have to send a request for authorization for something and they get it back and have to ask again they will charge you $75. This is kind of bothering me because I am waiting to have surgery and am not working and can't afford much more than just a co-pay. Does this sound normal for a doctor to ask for this?
Should I take off full coverage and just get liability insurance on my car?
I have a 2001 Ford Taurus worth around $5k according to kbb.com. Should I take full coverage insurance off of the car and just get liability? I am not accident prone (though I ...show more
What is the cost of average car insurance that a 19 year old boy and girl pay?
Well, I am taking my test soon (hopefully I will pass) and I am 19 --- and I heard that car insurance is worth a lot for youngsters that they can buy a BMW second hand with same amount money that they pay for 3 years. so, how much do 19 year old boys pay monthly for it and how much do girls pay ( heard it is a lot cheaper for girls). -- my younger sister will turn 19 in 2 years time till then if she passes her test -- how much will she pay when she gets licence---- what would be your solution -- if I want to get cheaper option (I heard of pass plus scheme - would it work)""
Approximate monthly premium for State Unemployment insurance and the coverage?
1) My employer is in California and I have been working in Illinois for 8 years until last month for the client of my employer. My family is myself, spouse and two kids. The contract with the client is over and my employer might terminate me. In this case, should I file for unemployment insurance in California or in Illinois? 2)What is the approximate monthly premium to be paid for state unemployment insurance? 3)what things will be covered by this insurance? If various factors would affect the answers for the above questions, please try your best to give approximate estimation for the monthly premium and coverage details. Thanks.""
Who is the cheapest car insurance company for two cars?
One is a 1993 Ford Probe and the other is a 1994 Toyota Camry.
""If i get cheap insurance on my leased car, can the bank find out and reposess it?""
i believe i am supposed to have comprehensive coverage on the car, however its just way to expensive to do that as well as the ridiclous payment i have. I heard somewhere that if you get the cheaper insurance, that the bank can find out and take the car back, which i would obviously like to avoid.""
Is motorcycle insurance normally cheaper than car insurance?
For example if I wanted a Kawasaki Ninja 250,compared to a Toyota Corolla?""
How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old to own a 2002 BMW 330i?
I'm 16 and was wondering how much (about) it would cost for me to insure my 2002 BMW 330i. Doesn't have to be exact because I know there are plenty of factors.. Just ABOUT how much. Additionally, I dont want any answers like oh you'll just crash it. Give me a legit answer.""
What's a good insurance company for motorcycles?
I live in Halifax, NS and looking for good insurance rates. Also, what type of insurance should I get? Full coverage? I would like to insure my soon-to-be 2000 Kawi Ninja 250.""
Ticket for no insurance?
Last year around September I made the grave mistake of letting a friend borrow my car to see his girlfriend and he claimed to have just gotten his license and it was supposed to come in the mail within the next week. I believed him and it's my fault, no question about that. He got pulled over and the cops gave him a ticket for no proof of insurance. And because he didn't have a license, they impounded my car for 30 days, but if he had gotten his license within that time, I could've retrieved my car earlier, but he was not cooperating. To make a long story short, I paid 1,500 out of my pocket to release my car from the impound lot, and my car was insured at the time but he was too dumb to find it in my glove compartment and got a ticket for 2,000. He now wants proof of insurance to dismiss the ticket but I'm not giving him it until I'm reimbursed for the impound fees. Is there any way he can get out of the no insurance ticket without proof of insurance? I live in California btw. Thanks!""
I need to know which car insurance is both reliable and affordable?
I need to know which car insurance is both reliable and affordable?
Driving school and car insurance?
does going to driver's ed help you get better or cheaper car insurance?
Do i need to add extra car insurance?
Hello. My father has a BMW and i am 16. When i am 17 i want to share the BMW with my father. My father has insurance on the car already. Its a full cover insurance. When i am 17 do i need to add extra insurance to the car or do i just leave it as it is? Do i need to add my name along with my dads name to the owner of the car?
What are the best cars for insurance?
i am a 17 year old male living in the u.k. so far the best car i have found is a 1978 austin morris mini. insurance is 1600. btw, cars like saxo's and corsa's are around 2500 for me. basically, does anyone have any ideas for cars. i have already looked at putting my mum as a named driver, but it does not make much of a difference. any help would be brilliant, thanks""
Where can I buy cheap auto insurance or temporary auto insurance in the United States?
I know u can do it in the UK...but can't find any insurance agency in the US to do it.
Moving to Pennsylvania - how do i get car insurance?
I recently moved to PA from NY. I have Allstate insurance on a rented car using my old address in NY. It expires in a little under a month. What do I do now? How do I go about getting new insurance? DO I have to go through the crazy process of getting PA plates? (I only plan on being here for 2 yrs - then I'm moving back to NY) BTW, my parents still live in NY. I'm not sure if that can help me.""
When should I expect money from a car insurance settlement?
Today, i was going through a green light and a driver ran a red light and hit the back of my car. i spun out and eventually stopped before hitting anyone else. I was wondering about how long should i expect to wait for insurance to comp me for a rental car (if applicable. i believe i have triple A) and to give me the check for a new car. i have a few follow up questions. 1. what amount will my insurance give me. i have liberty mutual and i had a 2001 kia sephia with 97000 miles in good condition. i just had new tires, alignment and oil change done to it because i just got the car about a week before. 2. the fender, axle, and back tire are completely totaled. the back drivers side is smashed in so should i try to fix or take my losses. 2. should i sue the driver and get a lawyer involved? or just take whatever my insurance will allow me to have? any additional advice, warning, guidelines or wahtever will be helpful also. thanks.""
""When buying a used car, what is the process of getting insurance for it?""
I live in Indiana, but am about to buy a used car that is in New York. I am going out there to pick it up and drive it back to Indiana. How do I go about insuring and licensing the car? This is my first experience with this. Do I need car insurance before I leave New York, or do I get that once I get it back to my home state and get it licensed and tagged? How long do I have before it needs to be insured? How long do I have before I need to get plates and everything for it? Where can I search on the internet to find more information about this, also? Thank you.""
How reliable and beneficial is permanent (whole) life insurance, specifically with Northwestern Mutual Life?
i am debating whether to increase my investment or not
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-cant-get-car-insurance-because-where-live-what-can-do-reynolds/"
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