#i mean it's so stupid i cannot believe i am making a post on tumblr abt it

[cuephrase]

robin poll conduct notice

hey!! so i didn't want to have to make a post like this and i'm not really thrilled at having to do this but i really hit my bullshit threshold so i feel like i need to establish some stuff before i continue sharing any data from the Robin Poll. apologies in advance, i swear i am not typically this aggressive and this is not the kind of post i tend to make.

allow me to preface this by saying that this is not me saying that you cannot have different opinions than me, or anything like that, okay, if that's what you take away from this i don't know how to help you.

also, i'm not super familiar with tumblr etiquette, but i just want to say that i have their @'s removed bc i have them blocked.

first of all, please do not make bad faith assumptions about me as a person, i understand that i cannot ask you to make zero assumptions about me, and to an extent i do not care what you think about me but like idk think before you fucking speak?

i'm just going to brush over the fact that hey, maybe if you don't like any of the characters on the questionnaire directed to their fans, then maybe don't participate, wild thought, because that's beside the point frankly.

i did not include Duke as a Robin, (the only characters I included were Dick, Jason, Steph, Tim, and Damian, hereafter referred to as The Five), because he does not count as a Robin by the metrics i was using.

the five Robins i included are the core characters who have carried the mantle for a significant period of time since Dick's entrance to canon-present. Carrie was not included because she's Robin in canon-future. Duke was not included because the only time he has canonically been Robin is in Batwheels.

"No, because in We Are Robin-" I'm going to stop you right there. I have read that series. I know what the fuck I'm talking about. If you've also read that series and somehow come to the conclusion that Duke is Robin in the same way that the The Five are, i'm glad i don't have your reading comprehension skills. i can't understand this for you either. Furthermore, if i was going to count Duke as a Robin because he was part of the We Are Robin movement, i would also include Dax, Dre, Izzy, Riko- you get the picture, i hope.

also lemme just-

not that this will convince anyone who firmly believes Duke is Robin the same way The Five are, but like when i say Duke's skin color has fuck all to do with why i did not include him- i mean that wholeheartedly.

and if you headcanon Duke as Robin, cool!! if you think he should've been Robin, cool!! there's nothing wrong with Duke being Robin- he just has not been Robin in comics!canon. (do not play the semantics game with me, you will lose.)

if it had been a Batkid/Batfam poll, Duke would've been on there!!

also, the poll was not a "which two characters that have worn a Robin/Robin-inspired suit do you like the most" poll. if you want that data, cool!! go do your own research.

second!! i have zero tolerance for this data being used to shame other Robin fans, this is not being shared so y'all can hop on your wank soapbox and jack off.

this kind of bullshit is not going to fucking fly. besides the fact that there is just so much that is...blatantly incorrect about this statement, this is "obnoxious conduct". i'm not going to waste my time getting into the weeds on this comment, mainly bc they're blocked so they won't see this so there's no point.

and to be clear, this did not upset me bc it was negative towards Tim stans and I'm a Tim stan- this comment could've been about any Robin and I would've been pissed. Tim might be my fave, but I deeply love all the Robins.

actually briefly, i'm going to say that i think it is beyond fucking stupid to bitch at fanon!Tim fans bc you think they're ruining comic!Tim's success. people who are invested primarily in fanon are probably not reading comics, and if they are, they're almost definitely not buying them so they're not impacting sales. you know who is? comic readers. if they cannot separate fanon!Tim from canon!Tim, that's a skill issue on their part. but like seriously, you think Tim Drake: Robin flopped bc of fanon!Tim? you do realize that the art was not well received, right? and that a lot of comics-buying fans are homophobic? and that oh, idk, a lot of comic!Tim fans disliked the run for valid reasons that had nothing to do with the art or being homophobic?

OR, hear me out, people are allowed to dislike characters and fans of that character are better off respecting that??

obviously stan behavior can be off-putting af. i'm not saying that stans should be able to do whatever- there's a lot of behavior from all stans that is just exhausting and pointless and benefits no one. but it's like...you do understand rage bait and hate gets engagement and social media algorithms don't differentiate between positive and negative, they just push whatever's getting interacted with. if you don't make an effort to avoid wank, you're going to drown in it. and if you're only ever in a handful of bubbles cycling the same opinions, that's all you're going to know. that doesn't mean that it's a real reflection of reality.

generalizing is so...i literally made the questionnaire because i believe that you can't generalize stan opinions based off who their #1 Robin is. stans are not a monolith.

what are the comic!Tim stans supposed to "take to heart" here? do you think we like woobie!Tim? do you think commenting about how OOC fanon!Tim is on a fanfic accomplishes anything than upsetting a fanfic author? do you think our posts about comic!Tim tend to break out of comic!Tim bubbles and impact fanon!Tim in any kind of controllable way?

and that goes for all stans, like it is no one's job/responsibility (or place quite frankly) to be policing how others interpret/enjoy characters. write your character analysis posts, share the fact-check panels, whatever, i'm not saying you can't discuss how you think a character should be interpreted. but like damn. save your energy for the people who want to have a conversation/learn. and be fucking nice about it- istg the attitudes of comics fans is probably one of the biggest turn offs for people who might otherwise be interested in comics, that and the sheer volume of content.

(if you're like, "okay hypocrite" bc i just angrily laid out why i didn't include Duke as Robin- i am allowed to not tolerate being called racist on my own post. i'm not stepping into Duke is Robin truther spaces and shitting on their fun.)

finally, and this is not strictly a continuation of the previous comment, i've been made aware that this data is being discussed elsewhere, which is fine, but i really cannot stress enough that this data is not generalizable. that's not an "excuse", it's a mathematical fact. the data isn't even reflective of only the opinions of people who follow my tumblr- my tumblr is super small, we got wayyyy more responders than i have followers, by a lot!! this data cannot be used to support any claims about fandom at large, nor was it intended to.

as i've stated multiple times, this questionnaire was not made to measure if someone was a "real" fan. meaning, it doesn't exist to grade fans or shame fans or do literally anything other than help me find out if knowing someone's top two fave Robins is significantly more informative than simply knowing who their number one favorite Robin is.

that's it. i literally just want to know "are X stans basically alike, or does it change depending on this specific factor", that factor being who their second favorite is.

tl;dr- this data was not collected to be turned into wank, it is not being shared to cultivate wank, and anyone that attaches wank to my posts directly will be blocked. i want to share this data with everyone who is interested, but no one is entitled to the results.

sorry if this was your introduction to me, i swear i am usually much happier and more diplomatic, but i hit my personal limit and i wanted to be really fucking clear about the boundaries i'm drawing. i will be using my block button as i see fit bc i want to enjoy the time i spend on this platform and put into this project. and you can block me too!!

[smoshidiot]

sorry in advance if this is rambly or doesn't make sense. it's 3am and i just have a stupid amount of love for smosh in my heart rn and i wanted to make a lil appreciation post 💕

first off i wanna say: happy birthday smosh! i can't believe this silly youtube channel is already 18 years old. it's hard to exactly describe how much smosh means to me. i discovered the channel nearly 10 years ago (my anniversary is on the 25th!) and even at the times in my life when i wasn't actively watching smosh, they always had such a special place in my heart. ian and anthony have always been able to make me laugh in a way that other channels have never really been able to, and it has been such an absolute delight to see them working together again.

ever since june 20th my life has really been centered around smosh and it's been amazing. if you told me a year ago that this is what my life would look like i never would've believed you. i am so unbelievably grateful for all of the joy, laughter, and opportunities smosh has brought me since anthony's return. i wanna say how happy i am that smoshblr exists and was so welcoming as soon as i made my blog. i honestly don't know if i would've stuck with smosh so strongly if i didn't have this great community to chat with and rediscover my love of this channel with.

and then of course, smoshblr and my friends here led me to joining the smoshcord which has been my absolute home these past few months. i have made so many incredible friends on that server and i wouldn't trade it for the world. all of the neighbors mean sm to me and i absolutely cannot wait to meet a bunch of them at vidcon 2024. also! i am still so honored that erica from the team over at smosh chose me (as well as a few other amazing ppl!) as a community mod for smoshcord. it feels so amazing to be able to give back to the smosh community, for how much it has given me over the years. and just to be recognized by smosh as a respected member of the community means the absolute world to me.

along those lines, while i'm being sappy i think i'm allowed to be a lil selfish and say ?? holy shit if you told 12 year old me that i would go on to have regular conversations with anthony padilla i would tell you you're absolutely insane. it has been such an absolute wild ride but it's so fucking cool that ian and anthony (ok mostly anthony but i think ian too bc of streams n stuff!) know who i am. i have an insane amount of love in my heart for these boys and it's so nice to interact with them on a slightly more personal level. it still feels like an absolute dream to even see them sit next to each other, let alone sit next to each other while saying my name.

but anyways i just want to say thank you smosh. thank you for all of the love and laughter and hope you have given me. you've shown me that friendship DOES truly always win. i am so fucking proud of these boys for mending their relationship and coming through such a hard time to create something genuinely beautiful.

anyways i wanna shoutout @smoshmonker @squig-s @yourinterestisnotcringe @lilac-hecox @kubabamia @only-frann for being just so lovely and fun to talk smosh with ♡ i am so grateful i met you all and that smosh brought us together like this! (sorry if there's any other neighborhood friends that i simply forgot the tumblr urls for ilyy)

[annelidist]

Any current theories/symbolism reads/other thoughts not yet posted on umineko? I am always trawling the tag for umiposting. Also, have you been spoiled on anything?

i recently finished ep3, which puts a lot of new things on the table, so a lot of thoughts because there's just. so much to think about. beato has been even more of a delight than usual throughout this episode. i was kind of willing to accept her contrition and floundering attempts to better herself as an interesting direction for the character, but the final turn at the end where it's revealed she truly is just unrepentantly, irredeemably awful is such a delightful moment.

i've been thinking a lot about the line that gets drawn in ep3 between becoming a witch and growing up. becoming an adult means letting go of certain dreams, resigning yourself to the possible, and if you do that then magic slips beyond your reach forever. a direct line is drawn (i think by hideyoshi?) between the cruelty of witches and a child pulling the wings off an insect. as the only witch who appears as an adult woman rather than an adolescent girl, beato is kind of an outlier in this regard, but you can totally see that mile-wide streak of immaturity in her nature, the irrationality that keeps her rooted in the impossible. battler is positioned as sort of an anti-witch with his categorical refusal to believe and his deep emotional ties to those around him, but he also shares this nature of being physically adult and intellectually rigorous while possessing kind of a childish personality. they're great foils.

speaking of battler, i cannot get over how fucking stupid his arguments get in this episode. it's perfect. he's started just making shit up and it rules. umineko is a battle anime about debate club, and battler has finally realised that debates aren't won by being correct, they're won by being better at debate. "mysterious mechanism x." dickhead. i love him

last battler thing, i'm fascinated by that brief moment where his rejection of beato is forms an actual magical barrier against her. just super interesting to me that the things battler is capable of as anti-witch are still couched in the visual language of magic. his rejection of magic is still a kind of participation. i guess that kind of contradiction is fundamental to what battler's doing here, given that he relies on the red truth, a magical conceit made up by the witch, in his rhetorical struggle against the existence of witches. just very interesting to me

i also really really like how eva and rosa are written in this chapter but this post is long already

re spoilers: i have been spoiled on a bunch of miscellaneous things like the designs of upcoming characters, battler's dickhead cape, and the existence of multiple kinds of coloured text, but nothing important in terms of plot. currently i'm at the very beginning of ep4, so approaching the halfway mark by word count. also some completely contextless Beato Facts like her and battler apparently turning out to be cousins and her being [taking this one with a massive pinch of salt because tumblr users will say it about anything] transgender

[gasstationparkinglot]

I return to Endo discourse but I'm unsurprised bc Endo discourse is half the Tumblr osddid community /hj

A reiteration of our stance for those curious

Don't care, really. It's a nuanced situation that folks love to make into black and white. There are absolutely shitty endos who are chronically online and spread stupid fucking ideals and misinformation. They deserve to be corrected. There are endos who might actually be traumagenic and just don't remember, because this is, I must remind you, a disorder that causes heavy dissociation and memory issues. There are endos who might not be systems but also mean no harm and keep to themselves! They're figuring shit out, they don't deserve to be crucified. There are endos who are actually suffer from OTHER disorders, and they may or may not come to realize that with time.

Absolutely call out annoying endos when they spread bullshit, but some guy who goes by the butterfly collective or some shit and reblogs garden images and doesn't immediately shoot the people who disagree with him is not your fucking enemy.

I don't have the energy to care about what everyone on the Internet does. I'll be honest! I see stupid shit and I'll send it to my friends and we'll go 'haha look at this idiot' and then move on, but beyond that I cannot bring myself to care and I do not understand why so many people do care. I am not pro Endo, I do not believe that endogenic plurality exists in the way it is currently typically presented, but I do not give enough of a shit to be labelled anti Endo either. Anti misinformation, maybe, but I'm not going to wring your neck if you're an Endo and you like one of my posts.

[thesagebrushkid]

NEW INFO ON AI GENERAYED ART

So, I just discovered something new about AI ART laws in other countries. There are currently 14 counties, soon to be 15 come June 1st, where AI art programs are completely banned. One cannot own or operate an AI program that generates art. In 7 African countries, laws have even gone so far as to LITERALY AMPUTATE people of their fingers or whole hands that use AI art programs. (And believe me when I say I am all for that)

But the best part of what I read is that in several Asian and European countries, AI images are indeed not considered ART at all but instead considered "FREE STOCK IMAGERY" and anyone can take and use them as they want all they want. And American AI creators cannot do an effing thing about it. So, look at it this way all you brain-dead American AI Criminals: You can post something you told your computer to generate here on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram FB or Pinterest all you effing want. BUT if it is seen in by someone in lets pick Austria, they can take it, sign it, print it and use it any damn way they want. They can even have your sucky AI ART copyrighted without your permission. Because laws have been passed in said countries that make you work nothing more than FREE STOCK IMAGES. Because your stupid American laws about AI art do not apply in other countries. You cannot claim it is your creation and you cannot sue them either. Its FREE IMAGERY!! Very poor free imagery but free for the taking and claiming none-the-less. You can not claim YOU made it. therefore by law, its free for anyone to take and claim it as their own, and you pathetic AI life forms cannot do shit.

Of course that is providing someone in another country would even want your ugly criminal art in the first place. I mean, would you want a cowboy with 7 fingers as a logo on your coffee brand??

OH I SOOOOOOOOOO IT LOVE WHEN KHARMA KICKS PEOPLE IN THE FACE LIKE THIS!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[lryghe]

NARUTO rant; the stupidest thing i have ever seen

new format unlocked! I was scrolling through pinterest the other day innocently looking for a Hinata and Sakura profile picture when I stumbled across the most ridiculous, horrific, mid 2010's hate post, pin of all time. Fair warning, I'm going to be less thought out as I usually am, and I might end up insulting people. If you think you'll get offended, just scroll past!

a quick image descriptor: a comparison of Kushina to Hinata and then Sakura, where Hinata somehow ticks majority of Kushina's personality traits, whereas Sakura ticks only one of them. Caption of image reads 'please, tell me again how Sakura is exactly like Kushina'. The second image is the caption of the pin and states 'Why Hinata is better for Naruto'.

Now, onto why I'm so horrifically mad about this that I had to break my cool tumblr persona and rant on it (I'm not even going to save this to my google doc, that's how impulsive this is).

REASON 1; why is Hinata 'better' for Naruto because she's similar to his mother?! What in the 'emotional incest' is this! It is completely ridiculous that you are comparing her to his mother as a reason to ship them. Because yeah Hinata and Naruto together might be a boring ship if you're inclined that way, but PLEASE don't go around saying that they should be together because she's like a mother figure to him. It's just like seriously weird. Like I bet the person who made it thought that they made a seriously good point but it's not the argument you thought it was.

REASON 2; it's ONCE AGAIN pitting Sakura and Hinata fans against each other. Like feminism is not being selective and picking which female characters you like and don't like. The Naruto fandom has definitely progressed in the past 10 years since people started acknowledging the sexist tendencies, but dear lord, liking Sakura does not mean you have to hate Hinata. Liking Hinata does not automatically pit you against every Sakura stan that has every existed. Why can't you all just kiss and make up or something! Every time someone uses Hinata or Sakura as an argument against the other I lose 10 years off my lifespan and half my braincells.

REASON 3; the actual post itself is just like. Stupid. With a capital 'S', underlined and bolded. Stupid. I cannot believe that this pin is so popular, I was seeing comments about it literally like a day ago. Half the information is straight wrong, AND derogatory on top of that. Sakura very clearly loves Naruto, maybe not in the same way that Hinata does, but that's a characterisation point for Sakura, the continuous desire to live up to her teammates and keep them safe. So get rid of that point. And it's odd how having Hinata 'change her personality for the person she loves' is a point in her favour. How is changing who you are for someone else a good thing? And she doesn't even do that! Hinata grows more confident in herself, but underneath all that, she is still a soft and sweet girl who is in love with a boy who was kind to her years ago. There is nothing wrong with that! She is allowed to be kind and quiet, she doesn't have to 'change' for anyone. Also nowhere is it mentioned that either Hinata OR Sakura are good cooks. So comparing them to Kushina in that aspect is ridiculous.

Every day I wake up horrified at the Naruto community. A wise person once said that 'the death of critical thinking originates from the Naruto fandom' and I couldn't agree more (the person is me. I hate the Naruto fandom). I am such a hater this is embarrassing.

[anna-dreamer]

Сон Амариэ: a breakdown. Part 1

Sooo. Ever since that summer concert performance of Finrod in Moscow i've been obsessed with Сон Амариэ. I've thought a lot about strengths and hiccups of this song, and i really wanna talk about them. Full lyrics han be found here. Unfortunately, stupid Tumblr character limitation won't let me make it a single post so i will have to break it into several. Let's start with a common issue that can be conveniently summed up.

False semantic pairs (and other grammatical oddities)

There is a common problem in this song that if very typical for Finrod's lyrics in general. I am talking about concepts and ideas that are put into an associative pair but actually cannot form one due to a logical error. The first one we encounter early on, in the phrase Лес молчит, словно полк, лишённый короля. Now, granted, a king like Finrod is expected to also be a military commander, and it is natural for regiments to be led by him into battle and to lose their resolve and fall into silence when their king is suddenly gone. (Though i must say, here i read a weird subtext of 'disloyalty to the cause', as if someone is trying to rally this troop, but in response gets only silence. A really weird undertone to describe a still forest which it the only thing that is there to answer you - and it doesn't - when you call out a lover's name. But that might be just me. It's far more likely that Amarië invokes the imagery of Finrod's deeds in Endorë as she imagines them and feels a foreboding dread that he is not there anymore. Of course a forest can look as abandoned as a troop without a commander. It is, after all, a dream.) But still - it is plain that a pairing "regiment - king" is occasional and conditional. The most natural associative pairing for полк would be полководец, командир, офицер.

Чтобы верить, не нужны ни разум, ни глаза. Now, it is a beautiful sentiment that describes faith and trust against all reason and evidence. But there is still a problem, a case of misplaced metonymy! Разум (reason) is a non-material entity that is usually associated with a body part - a head. Глаза (eyes) is very much a material thing, it is a body part which corresponds with an immaterial sense - sight (зрение). The point being made in the lyrics is, in order to have faith, one needs neither to reason nor to see with their own eyes - or, in other words, one believes with neither their head nor their eyes. But the lyrics try to have it both ways, and it doesn't work. The author chooses to use разум instead of голова (or (иметь) глаза instead of видеть), and as a result we get a mismatch.

Ветви, словно руки, сплетают сеть. The logic in this metaphor is again faulty. True, we often compare tree branches to arms or hands, it's very common. (In Russian both arm and hand are called by the same word, рука.) But then this net thing creates a confusion. Branches indeed can interweave, and arms/hands (or rather fingers) can be interlocked. In Russian both these meanings can be expressed with cognate verbs плести, сплетать, переплетать, the root -плет- meaning 'weave'. The problem is that branches do not actually weave any nets of any material - they themselves intertwine in such a way that a net is formed. On the contrary, hands do weave nets, they are not a material, but an instrument for that. Again, there are two conflicting ideas in this sentence, and they cannot be combined into a functional metaphor. Now, i'm gonna add another entry, a bit of a different kind, that does not necessarily describe errors but still is worth mentioning.

В тьме и в свете я тебя по имени зову. A couple of things here. For euphony sake it is customary to use во not в when the preposition is followed by several consonants (во тьме). Here it is not so for the sake of rhythm. (Also it is worth mentioning just for completion sake that there are two words in Russian that both mean 'darkness': темнота and тьма. The latter, the one used in the song, carries more of an elevated, metaphorical meaning along with the literal one.) В свете is a curious thing, and it is a bit of a nitpick. I don't begrudge the author this form, in my opinion it is acceptable in a poetical work, but i feel it is still worth mentioning. The form в свете that appears in the song is actually a locative that is used not for material but immaterial entities. For carrying across a meaning 'in the light', 'being lit by light' one would say на свету or при свете. В свете is a form that belongs to a word that usually has a separate dictionary entry. It is свет as in 'world', '(high) society'. Here is an example from Eugen Onegin: when Tatiana's husband sees that Onegin does not recognise his wife, he tells Onegin, Давно ж ты не был в свете! Charles H. Johnston has it translated as "...you banish yourself too long from social life". Again, in our case this form comes to use for convenience sake and is used for poetical uniformity. Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[hanamiyama-basketball-club]

anyway I guess I should use tumblr to put the lengthy talking to myself bits that nobody cares about instead of just making ten-tweet threads, huh (this may become a ten-tumblr-post thread though)

a thing I like to think about: my queer readings of yowamushi pedal characters. by which I mean something somewhere between headcanon and claims about intent; things that are the obvious to me way to fill in the rest of the story beyond what's on the page but which are still just the product of my own experience and perspective. I make no claims about authorial intent, and I doubt anything more concrete would ever come of it even if he did intend it. (maybe. I mean. if pedal ends with toumaki not at least cohabitating I will be kinda surprised tbqh)

so not just a list of who I think it would be cute if they were dating; more like "I can firmly imagine how this character would grapple with their sexuality(/gender in Yuuto's case) based tangentially on X from canon" which is a much smaller subset than "characters I think it would be cute if they kissed". ("grapple" bc I think everybody has to grapple with it somewhat, at least if it's not what they defaulted to expecting. it doesn't have to be tragic but it is A Process). none of this disclaimer is necessary but it's my tumblr and I feel better if I've stated my framework ahead of time.

anyway. after that stageplay (ETA: I started this post after watching The Day 1. I wish I was watching The Day 1 right now) I gotta start with The OGs, Toudou and Makishima.

toudou is always straightforward and honest with his feelings but also is very proud of his ability to Do Heterosexuality (or at least be desirable to women; there's never any indication of desire going the other way and I'm honestly not sure he's thought about it)

though he's toudou and if he set out to be desirable to men instead he'd probably also be great at that (but also he's very much the type who believes in true love and monogamy imo; he's too serious not to assume that he would fall in love once and forever)

anyway for that reason while I am generally sort of drawn to the classic BL "I'm not necessarily gay, I just love *him*" thing (definitely not going to argue that's an objectively *good* thing, but it feels like my own life experience) I really want toudou to be gay. like I don't think he can imagine being with anyone but makichan once that clicks for him, because that's the kind of person he is, but I want him to grapple with the realization that "I want women to be attracted to me" is not the same as "I am attracted to women" and that maybe his ability to see the whole thing as a job, essentially, should have been a sign to him.

I think he's come to some kind of realization about the nature of his feelings between makishima under the fireworks and him starting at tsukushiba and that's part of his change in tone. bc he is very very serious about this but also suddenly consideing the possibility of failure (which kinda seems like something he's never considered before at anything) and choosing to do it anyway. and I love him going "this is probably objectively stupid but I need something to work towards and I choose him."

the way he talks about the importance of sending something you touched with your own hands when you want your feelings to reach someone... and yeah, that could be just about feeling that he wants to ride together again, but that doesn't feel like an obvious reading does it?

and the way he talks to shuusaku about makichan (and the unsubtle way that toudou's feelings about makichan are always being juxtaposed with shuusaku's feelings about his judo senpai crush)! I absolutely cannot wait for shuusaku to meet makichan and, I mean, if they were ever going to move forward in this relationship shuusaku is always the key to toudou moving forwards, right? sensei always says that.

("why me? why do you always invite me?" "because you're makichan!")

makichan!

on the one hand, I think (with no evidence to be clear) makishima came to terms with his bisexuality very easily. sort of a "sure, that's the sort of thing that would happen to me." a little ruefully maybe, bc it's not like it makes his life any easier and he is a pessimistic guy, but he accepted it as true. (to be clear I am saying this as a bisexual albeit one that did not come to that conclusion anywhere near as directly lol) he also never planned to do anything about it because that sounds complicated and awkward and what if you hit on a guy who turned out to be straight. you'd have to crawl into a hole and die even if they were nice about it.

tbh I'm not sure how he planned to approach dating women either but he's a teen boy so there's probably some amount of at least subconscious like, girls aren't like real people and it's not like you're going to have to be emotionally vulnerable. maybe he didn't really expect that to work either; he does certainly seem to have internalized the idea of himself as a total creepazoid. I wouldn't be surprised if he expected to be single for life.

but then he's got this guy who just keeps showering him with affection and charging through his diversions and actively seeking to spend more time with him no matter how hard he makes it. (and, eventually, trying to meet makichan a little bit more where he is; though I don't know how clear that is from maki's perspective.)

and yeah, it's real easy to read this as stalker behavior. but I don't think that's ever been what's intended (by sensei, if not always by anime staff etc); toudou is not always great at reading cues to dial it back a little, but he's right that makishima feels the same way. and it would take something like toudou's level of stubbornness to break through makishima's reluctance to show emotion.

I can imagine makichan maybe being a little more open to his own queerness in London; not just bc he's more likely to see a rainbow flag in London than in Chiba but more bc he's had the chance to start almost from scratch (even if he does keep going back to Japan any time he is forced to care about people) and maybe it's a little less embarrassing. I mean I don't think he's any more likely to bring anyone home, certainly not while he's living with his brother (I think ren would be nice about it, but that doesn't make it less embarrassing), but maybe he'd like, at least not just stick it in the "not thinking about that" box with all his other feelings.

I don't think there's as much actually there to read his feelings as romantic as there is with toudou; you just kinda have to extrapolate from the fact that makichan does always feel the same way, even if he's reluctant to ever admit it. he won't make the first move, because he's given up on it as soon as he ever thought it, but as long as he responds to toudou's devotion eventually...

(and he did try so hard to give toudou the small talk he asked for. he goes out of his comfort zone for toudou, and that's no small thing for him)

sounds like next spare bike we'll have a few pages of makichan on the plane, but I expect he'll mostly be thinking about onoda. but even if he's going to the interhigh for onoda (EVEN IF HE NEVER PLANNED TO TALK TO HIM. FUCK OFF MAKICHAN), he's going on the exchange for toudou. :3 and I cannot wait to see how they end up in the same room please sensei you can't leave that loaded two person wide loft on the wall without firing it

I love them please I know they're gonna continue to talk past each other and

[itslottiehere]

hello beautiful people 🤍 long time no see, huh?

i just wanted to rant a little bit, if that’s alright with you. if you don’t wanna read, feel free to scroll <3

so! first and foremost i wanna thank you all for the lovely dms, asks and messages you left on my blog or even on other blogs, it really means the world to me knowing that i have created a teeny tiny community in this corner of the web. i love you all so much i can’t really put it into words.

second of all, i don’t wanna sound like i’m “important” or anything because i’m very well aware i am not, i don’t have a big blog or anything, but i do want to answer some of the asks that i have received, asking for the reason why i took this break.

there’s actually a plethora of reasons, some of which are too personal to share on a platform, so i’ll refrain from that.

i was feeling — and still am, at some capacity —extremely burntout. while i believed that the only reasoning behind that was school, exams and the stress that comes with that whole aspect of my life, unfortunately it wasn’t the case: i realised i was feeling that way also because of the people i kept in my life who weren’t bringing me nothing but worry, and who made me feel horrendously, and extremely disposable.

i’ve always been somewhat of a people pleaser, i would always swallow my feelings in order to protect the other person, till i arrived at the point where this couldn’t be sustained anymore and i would either blow up or do something even stupider. and neither of those habits is healthy, which is what prompted the need for a change.

i’ve been taking this time off here — and other social media, even if i recently started posting back on there — to really focus on me and my irl relationships, which were put on the back burner for a long time during exam season. i am trying to let go of people who are not good to me, who don’t treat me as i treat them and how i know i deserve to be treated. i’m actually working hard on that.

i needed to get back to myself, if it makes sense.

it’s not easy, it’s not pretty and it’s definitely uncomfortable, having to grow out of a habit i’ve had for 22 years, but i know that the pain and discomfort is all gonna be worth it in the long run.

i hope you’re all doing splendidly 🤍 you deserve nothing less. i missed talking to you all and hearing about your day, talking about harry and just interacting with you all. if you want to tell me about your day or anything, please feel free to send an ask! i will make sure to read them soon <3

these next few months are gonna be some of the most exciting, full and hard months of my life, but i can’t wait: i’m going to travel, go to concerts and see harry 5 times in different countries and with some of the best people i know, i’m gonna try and take as many exams as possible and just keep living my life as i want to live it. i cannot even tell you how excited i am to experience it all.

this post is queued, so if i don’t answer to your asks or messages please don’t take it personally, i literally just copied and pasted it from my notes app, and i re-downloaded tumblr just to post this.

i’m not sure when, or if, i’ll come back for good, but i just wanted to do a little check in with you all and let you know that i love you so, very much. <3

signing off once again, just for a little while longer.

all the love to you beautiful people,

lottie <3

[scoobydoodean]

About Me Being a Jackass

So. As some of you saw, the other day I fucked up. I am not going to apologize for the fact that something offended me or for my opinion, but I am sorry for how I addressed it. Regardless of how much or little offense what someone else said made me feel, I am the bigger asshole at the end of the day, because I perpetuated a message that screenshotting people’s tags to shit on them behind their back is okay.

@ original person involved: I haven't deleted my posts, because the nature of Tumblr is that other copies of what happened remain on various blogs regardless, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to hide what was said at least until I had made this post establishing that I am the asshole. However, I will go back and hide everything from being visible to randoms opening the notes to minimize the potential of you receiving grief from anyone, and if you would like me to, I will also DM this post to those who reblogged the original incident and ask them to delete their copies of it from their blogs. I can’t promise compliance, but I figure if I ask nicely as the OP, I might have decent luck.

Back to the general audience: I have a few lessons for myself here, and I hope you read them and consider learning from my mistakes too (if you aren't already too smart to be like my dumbass).

Never respond to something that annoyed, offended, irritated, or grossed you out at 3AM. This is, universally, a bad idea. This is something I actually know already, from my many years on the internet, so there isn't an excuse. I have had, "Oh thank god" moments before when waking up to look at things I decided the night before, to not put out into the world and to sit on instead to see how I felt about them the next morning. Rarely have I ever woken up no longer feeling negatively about what someone else said, but I at least wake up with a clearer head on the appropriate response to it. So don't do it. Just shut the fuck up and go to bed. You will save yourself from a lot of stupid decisions.

Never assume that using tags to comment on something means it won't get screenshotted and re-tagged with more note-passing-in-class-style commentary. The person who tagged my post didn't expect anyone to respond. They likely expected at most for their friends to maybe like it and maybe a reblog with '#prev'. I responded to the tags they didn't expect me to comment on while also tagging my addition for something and expecting it to stay on my blog and for nobody to reblog the tags I had added, which was fucking dumb considering the thing I literally just did is make somebody else's tags show hole.

Never assume that reposting something to a sideblog where you don't have very many followers is sufficiently private. It is still an online space. It is not private. If you MUST be upset and vent IMMEDIATELY because you CANNOT help yourself, send it in a DM to your friend instead.

Never assume that leaving off someone's username from their tags when you screenshot them is sufficient to protect that person's identity. Especially not when you are stupid and screenshot their tags on the very post where they tagged what they tagged. There is no excuse for me, because just the other day, I saw someone else post a screenshot of tags on one of their posts (in a separate post, to disagree with them) and almost reblogged it, but then realized that would spread it further around the circle and would feel like bullying to me because it was all being said behind their back. Then my dumbass went and did something that fostered an even more potentially harmful environment for another person... by doing the same thing on the actual post. To my knowledge, I don't believe anyone retaliated directly against the person in question through their mailbox or DMs (and if anyone did, I will lob a spear into your computer over wifi), but I created a potential that was very real for that to happen, and the actual outcome, where people were just shitting on them in my notes, was already bad enough. Just don't screenshot tags you don't like to talk about them, actually. Go to bed. Later on, maybe write your own post in your own words about the idea you saw that you didn't like (not the person who said the idea—the idea. The person is just a person). You'll have a clearer head then anyway and you'll be a lot more eloquent and level-headed.

If the joke you are telling by being snarky about someone's tags you screenshotted is "Haha now we are all mischaracterizing each other", don't go back 5 minutes later and tag what they said for biphobia. If you keep looking at what they said and find it offends you more and more because that's genuinely what you see in it regardless of what was intended, just delete your reblog. It isn’t like you’re having a fun time like you were 5 minutes ago. You are promoting something that makes you feel bad and you have figured out at least one reason why. Also, it will turn into accusations of someone being an evil irredeemable villain when other people pass it around to shit on the person for what they said and what you said about what they said and add more transgressions they committed to the list (see Part 2). If you believe something is intentionally and maliciously offensive (that wasn't the case here FYI) you still shouldn't put it on the dash imo because you'll be giving it a platform. You should block the person if you believe they're actually a bigoted asshole.

Remember that this is all media.

When an offended party's friend DMs you, and in the process of trying to defend their friend while extending an olive branch, actually hands you an olive branch full of spiders (i.e., saying more things that make you go 🙈) just don't respond and move on with your life. It isn't worth it. Tangentially: on the initial (before shit hit the fan) subject and everything you two have left me with as responses from the thread of the initial subject... I won't respond any further about our differing analysis, because I can tell you for a fact it won't be productive. Based on what has been said so far, and how each successive argument that has been brought up included more things that I vehemently disagree with in terms of how it frames a person's lived experiences and issues and how they define a person's value... we simply shouldn't continue talking about it. That doesn't mean I think you're bad people, but it does mean the conversation will only come with more bad vibes for all of us and more hurt feelings. Once again: sorry for being a flaming jackass.

[someoneimsure]

hey idk what's going on but i hope you're ok. i can't say i'm here for you if it's like, too heavy a topic but i'm down to distract ya or something if ya ever need it.

I really needed to talk about this apparently. So I'm going to ... talk about it and just talk about my experience with being triggered. And knowing someone is listening does help, strangely. It also might help distract with it, idk. I don't mean to overwhelm this ask but I hope it gives some context as to what was happening and that it helps other people who go through something similar.

I am a little embarrassed to talk about this and almost put all of this under a read more, but I think that might also make it worse so. Apologies for the long post.

What triggered everything is, it's--I can't say it's stupid because that makes the situation worse. It was not stupid. But it felt "stupid".

Basically, I was thinking about something to write about (a personal experience turned into a viligante!reader snippet for tumblr) only to then experience very random--okay, not really random, but seriously intrusive thoughts about my biggest traumas all at once. I was so upset that I felt I needed to leave tumblr temporarily because I believe some BS on tumblr caused it and it was--it was not stupid, my reaction to it was not stupid, but it felt "stupid" because it was a significantly delayed trauma reaction and the situation really didn't call for such an--It's not stupid, but it felt "stupid".

First time I've experienced that in a literal decade. It was horrible. Half of my brain was super pissed off about it, about myself, about my body, which did not help the part of myself that just kept spiraling down a deep dark rabbit hole of nausea, dread, and shaking. It was like a dragon stomping around in the brain while the rest of me was tumbling down a very steep mountain. It caused a lot of emotional pain and the heavy blankets I used would not work.

So I stepped off tumblr. Tried the heavier heavy blanket, which also didn't work. And discovered I couldn't write. So nothing changed.

So I went back to tumblr because there was nothing I could do to change my situation and just... talked about it? Sort of? More like complained about my body--which is not stupid, not my fault, it happens sometimes, I'm okay.

So I posted that I was experiencing something horrible and clearly it's--it was not stupid, but it felt "stupid", and the part of myself that was angry and furious and yelling about it was fighting the part of myself that was starting to seize my heart in what felt like a fist covered in iron needles. Which is the indicator that one of my worst anxiety attacks was starting, which always turns into me lying down on the floor wait for hours for the heart pain to stop.

And then I saw the responses on tumblr. And responded to them. And I felt better after posting and acknowledging that people had noticed and I realized it was Not Stupid like my brain kept telling me. The angry part of me shut up. Then I got more responses. I responded to those as well and acknowledged them, and fuck therapy works guys. I almost felt normal. The heavy blanket was working again.

So what could have been a potential trip to the hospital has turned into a learning experience and I am sooo much better now, omfg. I am also extremely exhausted and tired, haha. But I feel almost normal again. That is such a relief. I cannot express my gratitude enough for everyone who reached out and helped me.

Sorry if this is too heavy. Putting the experience into words helps me contextualize it and even feel better about it, strangely enough. I'm gonna maybe write a reader!vigilante snippet that covers the feelings aspect and how it was resolved but with the BatClan. It might turn into something longer, though I probably will not post unless someone expresses interest.

Thank you sincerely for the ask. <3

[shipsgaysfordays]

I posted 4,312 times in 2022

That's 4,217 more posts than 2021! (I may or may not have become obsessed with a few fandoms within this year)

353 posts created (8%)

3,959 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@moonlarking

@siriusbaby

@tfischaitea

@girlboss-nahi-girlbas

@venn364

I tagged 690 of my posts in 2022

(heck yeah 690)

#marauders - 61 posts

#wolfstar - 59 posts

#marauders era - 55 posts

#the marauders era - 46 posts

#remus lupin - 44 posts

#sirius black - 43 posts

#the marauders - 41 posts

#incorrect marauders - 30 posts

#marauders incorrect quotes - 19 posts

#wolfstar fic - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i personally think they’re friends to lovers to enemies to complicated feelings because they love each other but they both want this job

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I’ve been getting my mom into Watcher content recently, and we’ve been watching puppet history for a bit (I’ve already seen all the episodes and know the lore) and my mom keeps saying things like, “When’s Ryan going to win,” “He’s gotta win this episode,” and I’m just nodding and smiling.

123 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

#4

sirius: we should get a magical portrait made of the two of us sometime *talking about him and remus*

remus: …i’m not sure about that i mean wouldn’t it feel strange to look at yourself and talk to yourself

james: padfoot already does that in the mirror everyday

*sirius hits james*

james: to prepare flirts for you

*sirius tackles james*

peter *to remus* : yeah…i don’t think you guys should get a portrait made, it would just be you two making out all the time

sirius *shouting while still play fighting with james* : WE’RE DOING IT

142 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#3

Sirius: You know we’re all getting taller

James: I’m glad to hear you still believe that, have hope for yourself

*Sirius rolls their eyes almost entirely out of their head*

Sirius: No, but seriously we’re getting older and we only have 1 invisibility cloak, we need to figure out a way to work around being caught without the cloak

Peter: Especially with Moony growing so monstrously tall, we need a way soon

Remus: Well you brought the idea up Padfoot, do you have some ideas?

Sirius: It’s Halloween soon, and I’ve heard that a very popular muggle costume is to be a sheet ghost.

Remus: They could easily take the sheets off of our heads if we’re trying to run away, that’s stupid

James: Not if we use a sticking spell

Remus: Sometimes I forget that you guys are idiots, why do I forget that

Sirius: Oh come on Moony, you know you love us, we should at least try it out to see

Later on

Peter: I can’t get the sheet off guys

James: I can’t either…how strong was that sticking spell Padfoot?

Sirius: Oh BOLLOCKS, FUCK

Remus: Did you use THE WRONG SPELL

Sirius:…maybe

The marauders stay in sheet ghost form for a few days, they never try this again, here are some photos taken by Mary, Marlene, Lily, etc.

See the full post

187 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#2

i am in shock I AM IN SHOCK

a marauders edit, set during christmas, using the so this is christmas sound that is [SPOILERS] not the most depressing sad thing i’ve ever seen!😲

216 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i think so much so often about how much i want a team red movie with bi spiderman played by andrew garfield, i want it so much

just like, just, please IMAGINE THE CHEMISTRY 

he was roommates with charlie cox, he’s already kissed ryan renolds before, PLEASE JUST LET IT HAPPEN

like they have multiple spidermen and they have multiple universes, PLEASE, THIS IDEA CANNOT ESCAPE MY MIND PLEASE JUST LET IT HAPPEN

243 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

As someone who is kinda just floating my way through life right now, I've kinda been thinking about what my favorite characters say about who I am and like, what I want,

I mean, I've fallen into the Trap of Webnovels, one of the biggest black holes of How Do We Fuck With The Trope and while I clearly am not alone in my love of Cale Hetinuse, Han Yoojin and Kim Dokja (and likely other blind lovable bastards I haven't found yet), what exactly is it that makes their loneliness so true?

This may of course be my stupid migraine talking, but one of the things I find so fascinating about Webnovels is how consistently they deal with themes of Being An Outsider. Fundamentally, even just a passing glance at the summaries or a roll through the current trending set of Most Popular Stories, shows the persisting theme of being Other in some way,

One of the biggest genres, not just in Webnovels but most Very Online media are Isekais in some form, or the protagonist is thrust suddenly into not simply the stress of life, but the stress of having to either hide your true nature or otherwise display what sets you apart, driving further into their separation from the rest of the characters.

A lot of them now even twist this further, showcasing protagonists who "arent supposed to be there" or who are the "wrong" person to step up into the story.

God, it's like we as a group of people living in the world have reckoned with how far our lives and hopes have strayed from the goal, and have poured all of it into characters who still feel as though they can never belong.

I am US American and thus am reading these stories through at least 3 layers of additional abstraction on top of the already dense nature of Webnovel Fan Culture. I am still learning how to glean the hidden themes from stories which have started to generate triple decker layers of nuance and in joke so ubiquitous, my only viable comparison is that old Tumblr post joking about how reading AO3 tags was it's own form of dialect incomprehensible to anyone not submerged in it

And yet still, I can tangibly feel the ache in some of these stories. Across far too much space, linked only by the light of our respective screens, I am admiring the skill of these stories to articulate the depth of my isolation.

The characters I love tend to be people who feel as though they cannot be accepted. That they must atone for whatever it was that brought them to their current place in the story. An empress who leans into her divorce because she believes she cannot be anything other than herself, and that that self is an undesirable burden. A man who cannot believe he is allowed a family, that his presence will inevitably end that family's peace so he should fulfill his "role" as a hapless, useless piece of trash. A man out of time, who sacrificed everything for his brother and yet believes he's worthless, willfully stubbornly blind to any injury he has cause that would mean admitting that he matters. And on, and on, and on,

I am mostly just talking in order to codify exactly what it is that draws me in, and I frankly think... It's cause I feel seen.

I have always loved lonely characters, Anne of Green Gables, Ender Wiggan, The Goose Girl. Characters who are lost until they settle finally with the people meant to care for them,

I think Webnovel protagonists are so compelling to me cause they highlight how even when you are tremendously lucky or powerful or intelligent, the world does not care. It's only through the Power Of Friendship (both ironically and unironically) that the heros find peace. I guess they soothe the part of me that wishes I could be healthier or richer or more satisfied with my life, they vent the stress of Living THrough Interesting Times and honest to god they remind me to think about my friends and my actual goals. To remove myself from the idea that Achieving The Win Condition would actually help with my loneliness. Cause really, the only way to stop being lonely is to build relationships you can trust to show up at the end of the world, or to bail you out of Time Prison or pick you up outside of Imperial Divorce Court

What's the point if it's not to strive towards connecting with the people you love?

[hwajin]

optional feedback for you, take it or leave it, feel free to delete it if you're not looking for feedback!

you tend to be a bit wordy, say the same thing in several sentences, one following another. or you do "show don't tell" but then tell anyways. and show and then tell again, for good measure. it lessens the emotional impact and just makes it a little bit impersonal. most notable in the paragraph where han (why do you call him by his last name? I thought they're all friends? but that's not part of this critique, I was just curious) reacts to reader saying "I can fuck him now".

like I said, take it or leave it! I really enjoy your writing, keep it up! don't let notes dictate what you do or don't write! it's a practice, not a means to an end

lmaoo i know 😭😭 i'm always scared that with serieses i'm not being detailed enough and am too vague, so it's possible i overdid it with certain passages — i already know that's not gonna get better in the further chapters either 😭 idk, i said in the previous ask that i truly struggle to create worlds; like i don't believe that my story telling makes too much sense, that's why i feel the need, i think, to over-describe everything to make ppl understand what i wanna say ig LMAO

i also get the 'show don't tell' girl literally, what i mean by saying i cannot write a series. i can create tension when it's a short cute drabble but i cannot for the live of me build anticipation the way i would like it in a long story. coming back to the previous point, because i fear the readers won't understand what i want to say, i over-explain, and end up telling anyways, AGAIN, because i cannot rlly create worlds.

i'm ngl, even before i started posting this series and esp now that the first chapter is out it feels kinda embarrassing jfjejdu, like there's ppl on here writing novels and such inticrate, deep serieses and mine, in comparison, feels incredibly stupid and bad, and i already lost motivation in continuing to write it, because i know it doesn't hit ppl the way i would want it. like the vibes are nice ig but there's no depth anywhere, and the more it's out and the less notes it gets the more embarrassed i am 😭😭😭 then again, you're right in saying posting shouldn't be dictated by notes, and that in general it doesn't rlly matter if this serieses is a masterpiece or ass, because it's only tumblr after all, it's not like i'm a best-selling author; so yeah, i will continue posting this story, i won't be less embarrassed by it tho 😭

[idohistorysometimes]

The ‘Not Deer’ thing

So as some of you have probably caught on by some of my posts: I am a huge fan of many things mythology and cryptid. I love learning about local folklore of an area, I love cryptozoology, I love learning about myths and legends, the whole shabang. But recently I was made privy to it by a coworker (and by Tiktok shoving it down my throat) to the “not deer” (or Deor as they are sometimes called) and its supposed foothold on Appalachian folklore. But does it really have this? Is this really an actual cryptid? You guys know me, so I used some of my research time in the office to do some digging and the following is my consensus (as a historian and casual fan of all things spooky)

Its not real. Its not a real legend, being, spirit, or story. It originated on Tumblr and was adopted by tiktok and is being passed off as an actual legend. 

I am aware this might be an inflammatory statement to some but it is true: Not Deer or “Deor” are not a thing. And when you look at the evidence it becomes clear that this is more of a “that time tumblr created a whole Greek goddess” situation mixed slightly with the whole “slenderman is real” thing with a DASH of cultural appropriation (do not worry, we will get there).

POST DATES

One of the BIGGEST giveaways to me that this is not a real legend is that most of the postings and documentation that I can find on “Not Deer” or “Deor” (not the poem but the creature being referenced here) do not precede 2019 at the earliest. That, and no documentation can be found about them outside of tumblr and a few other select sites. 

Using google trends I typed “Not Deer Legend” and these were the results:

Most of the search queries happen around 2019-2021. There is a small blip of searches in November of 2015 but this lends me to believe that this was when the story was originally published online or it could be some bizarre mashup of search terms. It could be either or. 

Things generally stay the same when I typed in “Not Deer Cryptid”. Again, note the very large spike during the time between 2019-2021

Same thing goes for “Not Deer Appalachia”  (again please note that large spike)

When you just type in “Not Deer” however things get more interesting. You can see here that numbers across the decades have stayed pretty consistent. However, this does not mean that “Not Deer have been around for decades and I am just stupid”. I would also like to note here that the simple search term “Not Deer” can be apart of several other search terms related to just deer in general.

The first 2 related queries are related to the creature I am talking about, but the rest are directly related to other queries involving things that deer cannot do. This makes up a majority of the related queries. 

But to make sure I am not missing anything I went onto the “Not Deer” tag to try to find the earliest mention of the creature and although the tag has been active since 2012 the first ACTUAL MENTION of something similar to what we know of the Not Deer today was made on January 10th 2020. The post can be found HERE. However there is another post that predates the one I linked that seems to be the original story (linked here) that was published back in 2019 (August 21st 2019). This is the EARLIEST definitive mention of it that can be found on the internet (and that lines up with the google analytics page).

And around the same time of that first post I linked, the creator of the story actually commented on a reddit post asking about the not deer (which I will link here):

ENCOUNTERS

The next thing I would like to point out is how people describe encounters with Not Deer. 

This is a normal White Tailed Deer (the kind found in Appalachia, along with a large chunk of the rest of North America). 

Here is a size comparison. 

They are large but not to the point where its unreasonable. They are kinda clunky, kinda creepy, and very stupid. 

They can also look at you like this. Its creepy but its normal deer behavior. 

Most of the Not Deer encounters I have heard described consist of a few different types:

The Deer was not afraid of me/was not behaving normally

The Deer had proportions that looked off

The Deer looked like a fucking hellspawn (aka not like a deer)

The Deer’s antlers were weird

The Deer attacked me

Most of these things can be explained by “CWD” or “Chronic Wasting Disease” (which is a neurodegenerative prion disease that can be contracted by Deer and other cervids that causes them to have profound neurological problems, not eat, and eventually die). 

Here is a map of where CWD is, and look, its in part of  Appalachia along with a bunch of other places. 

If you see a deer that is emaciated, spinning in circles, showing no signs of fear towards you, wondering aimlessly in public spaces, salivating a lot, or other strange behaviors it PROBABLY HAS CWD. Brain abscesses, deer warts, brain worm, mange, and blue tongue can also cause similar physical or neurological symptoms of CWD (or in some cases explain these deer sightings). 

If you see a weird deer in the woods your first thought should not be “OMG ITS A CRYPTID” it should be “why is that deer acting strange” and then a call to your local game warden since CWD is incurable, spreads fast, and is pretty serious. 

Most of the videos posted “catching Not Deer on camera” also follow this same pattern. They are either filming a deer with some kind of disease or just a deer doing normal deer things. People are looking for creepy material and are finding it because deer themselves are kinda weird to begin with. And if you are not around deer often: of course them swivel staring at you to running away at mock 9 is going to be unsettling. But unsettling does not equal cryptid. And likewise, diseased does not equal cryptid either. 

Skinwalkers and Wendigos

I have heard the argument many-a-times that “Not Deer” are just code for Skinwalkers or Wendigos (2 creatures originating from native folklore). This is also not true (and this is where cultural appropriation comes in). 

Lets take a look at skinwalkers first since these are brought up the most.

Skinwalkers are a being originating from Navajo folklore (keep in mind native culture is not one homogenous thing and can vary GREATLY geographically) who were once medicine men/woman who abused their healing gifts for evil and thus became a skinwalker. They have the power to transform into (or wear the skins of) animals (usually animals that are predators or ones that carry some form of relation with death). They are essentially the complete opposite of a medicine man/woman who exist to heal, and yes they ARE people (or were once people anyway). 

This legend is pretty isolated to the western half of the states, only appearing in Navajo oral tradition along with the oral traditions of peoples who are in that same geographic area. I would also like to note that historically the Navajo people have been extremely reluctant to go into much detail on the story with outsiders. The Not Deer are supposedly an Appalachian legend (which for those unfamiliar, Appalachia is a region on the EASTERN half of the US). Geographically things are not lining up. Along with that white tailed deer are viewed as symbols of peace, prosperity, and other VERY positive things. Skinwalkers can turn into any animal they choose, but they usually present as  coyotes, wolves, foxes, cougars, dogs, and bears. This is why wearing pelts of those animals specifically is taboo in Navajo culture. 

Also as a quick aside: why would a Navajo witch be running around in the forests of Appalachia terrorizing teenagers? They are people who have committed the evilest of deeds to get where they are now, why would they be wasting their time across the country fucking with tiktokers and tumblr users specifically?

This brings us to the Wendigo. 

Wendigos ARE native to the eastern half of the continental US and originate in the Algonquian language family of peoples. HOWEVER, as I have mentioned before Wendigos ARE NOT deer creatures. This is a false Hollywood portrayal. Nowhere in the original legend do Wendigos ever have deer parts, antlers, or have become Cervine. 

They look like this (more or less).

Wendigos are also a story about the corruption of the soul. You become a Wendigo by committing a act of greed (like cannibalism or murder) and you become insatiably hungry, forever. Wendigos go for the kill, they dont just stand there and kinda watch you like not deer do. They straight up kill you on sight which is also why they are so terrifying. They have no restraint. 

Saying “Oh, Not Deer are just these native monsters” is kind of insulting since its clear by making that statement you have not even bothered to read those legends and become familiar with them. At this point its just another way to sensationalize and profit off of a perverted and meaningless portrayal of native oral tradition. As a historian who values native culture: that's kinda bullshit. By doing that you are actively destroying those stories by diluting them with fake stories that have nothing to do with the actual point of the original ones. You are not helping by doing this, you are hurting.

The Slenderman situation

The final part to my unholy post-rant is this: “remember the slenderman thing, this is like that”.

For my fellow internet youngins who are unfamiliar with what I am talking about: the slenderman stabbings took place back in 2014 and happened because people could not discern between fiction and reality. 2 girls lured their friend into the woods, violently stabbed her 19 times, and tried to sacrifice her to “Slenderman” (a creepypasta character) and become one of his proxies. This was on the news when it happened and lead to some major ripples throughout the Creepypasta community (including major crackdowns on people encouraging similar behavior). 

To me this is very much like that (only with less violence). 

A fun story was written online (and props to the OG author, I love it) and people literally took it and ran with it (so much so that a bunch of chronically online teenagers are saying they are seeing/being stalked by these things). By continuing to feed into the story and people’s fears about Not Deer, we are feeding into an issue where reality and fiction are broken down. Its fine to enjoy things, but it gets a bit extreme when individuals that already struggle with separating reality from fiction are being told these beings are real, and could possibly kill them or hurt them. It gets extreme when we are posting videos in all seriousness saying we spotted these creatures. It gets extreme when we feed into those anxieties of the unknown. 

Stop it. 

We have already determined by the info above that this is not a real legend. This is not actual folklore. This is not a code name for a vastly different native legend. This was just a fun story that blew up in 2020 and has made its rounds in popculture. 

You have not seen this. You probably saw a diseased deer or just a normal deer doing deer things. 

Tiktok is not a source, kids, and this is a prime example of why. It helped invent an entirely new legend based off of a tumblr post published in 2019. 

Always fact check. 

[shitsngiggles666]

Hi @eileen-crys I know you blocked me. But it came to my attention you’ve been talking shit (get it?) about me. I seen a screenshot from your blog that I feel is a bit unfair and almost resentful towards me. Listen, I think you have every right to say what you want about me. Call me names, talk behind my back, hate me all you want. But I want to respond. I think even someone widely considered “a bad person” should at least try to defend themselves.

I don’t want to share a sob story, but I am more used to people being mean then kind to me. I don’t think anything you can say to me or call me would be new. I have been called stupid, ugly, annoying for pretty much my whole life. This includes everyone from school mates to members of my own family. Did this cause me pain? Yes, and it’s taken me time but I am used to it. I really don’t want to let people on the internet hurt my feelings. Here’s the thing tho, I genuinely considered you my friend and really enjoyed talking to you. I think your art is adorable. I think that’s why I feel so hurt tbh. We have drifted away, and that’s fine. If a friendship, even an online one ends over diffidence of opinion over the nature over the marriage of some old rich white dude then so be it. But I will not let you mock me on your blog without at responding. Keep that post up, I don’t care if you remove it or not but I think I can at least respond to it. This is my one request so I can get this off my chest

I never said that anecdote is false. I just think like so many online anecdotes it needs scrutiny, a source and cannot be taken as fact. I don’t just do this for Veronica, I do this for everything. The reason I was skeptical was I was always led to believe Veronica was still in school but working as a nanny and never got to teach. My religion is agnosticism and my overall philosophy is “question everything, don’t be afraid to say ‘I don’t know’ what we want to be true isn’t always the truth, complete honesty and an avoidance of bias. I have, and probably always will ask questions. Not just about John Deacon, but anything I am curious about. It’s simply my nature, and the more unsure I am about something the more I question it. Yes, it’s annoying but also understand that I annoyed my parents, my teachers, my professors and even people at work.

I got hooked on Queen some years ago after watching a BBC documentary on Queen and becoming enamored. The movie greatly disappointed me and even some what angered me (honestly I think it’s one of the more homophobic films I’ve seen). So I turned to the internet to feed my hunger. John particularly fascinated me as I thought he was dead originally but wondered “where was he”? I even related to him a lot as I am quite shy and quiet irl. John also frustrated me as there was so much not known about him. Back in the day, I was a HUGE johnica stan. Surely if John and Veronica had so many kids they were very much in love, and the narrative of John living happily ever after was appealing to me. Plus his son seemed nice enough. Cameron was who lead me to tumblr, and who led me from my Johnnica fantasies. Cameron made me view John Deacon as not just a person, but also a flawed person. I learned more and more about him and I started to think maybe John and his family are different than how I imagined. I was really forced to start being honest about what I really knew about John. I wish I can elaborate more as I can’t describe it but something about the whole Cameron and the Camily incident made me see John more human? Like more complex, and more like an everyday person and less of this caricature obsessed with cheese and impregnating his wife? I don’t have anything against John. I don’t have anything against Veronica. I am not some villain from a Carebears cartoon who hates love. I just feel so much about John is from fan assumptions and imagination. Hear me out:

Something I want to make clear is I have nothing against writing fan fic or fan art or what ever about real life people. I believe strongly in freedom of expression and no one should dictate what art is acceptable and what isn’t. You got mad at me when I opposed you encouraging your followers to report a “fan fic” casting Veronica in a bad light. Is it because I have a personal vendetta against her? Or maybe I strongly believe that if one is allowed to fantasize about the marriage of two British boomers writing countless fics about them conceiving their real life children, then you have to tolerate (not accept, but tolerate) different views. I am sorry, but fair is fair. Is it because I hate Veronica? Or is it maybe because I don’t think she would like art depicting her sexuality but accept that authors have every right to express themselves, but can’t dictate what others create. I don’t like double standards. Not to mention, not one of us can say what she would think or feel about it all. Remember, she’s not some fictional character! This pisses you off but I still think my statement is true, but we don’t know her as a person. So much we “know” about her is fan speculation and projection. Am I saying she’s a bad person? No. Am I saying she’s mean? No. What I am saying is we have to be honest about what is fan creation. Just because you’re popular doesn’t mean your opinion is true and anyone who even expressed skepticism is both a bad person and hates Veronica or even thinks she’s a bad person.

I just think she’s an individual whom has had only a few paragraphs written about her. If she wants to keep her life private, that’s her right. Same for John. He famously hasn’t spoken to the public for decades and that’s fine! Maybe he and Veronica are the couple from “When I’m 64”. I love to think that! But maybe it’s different. And it’s not my business and there’s alone. So, that’s all I have for now. Since I have been interested in Queen my life has changed. New responsibilities, work changes, life changes the whole lot. I have less time to spend online and even less time to bother with silly internet drama. Am I hurt? Yes, I felt like someone punched me in the gut, and is never easy to see someone you once really liked and considered you a friend insult you. I’m upset. But I feel 1) This won’t matter ten years from now and 2) if someone who has always been sweet and kind suddenly turns nasty over a ship isn’t really your friend. I have seen people with opposing ships still me friends. I have some really wholesome memories from lurking on X-men forums involving fans being friends despite arguing over who should be smashing who. I never took shipping seriously and probably never will. John Deacon and his marriage is not very important to my day to day life. I remember feeling sick and distressed for days when I learned of his affair with Pushbar the lap dancer. But you know what? The sun still rose that morning, the birds still sang and I ice cream still tasted good. And I am sure you will continue to hate me and talk about me to other Queen fans but I will never leave the Queen fandom. I won’t let some middle school drama ruin something I really enjoy.

Accuse me of causing drama or being a bully or whatever but I tried to explain myself. I am willing to talk in private with anyone with questions, comments and concerns but understand I have a very busy work week with limited internet access and other stuff offline.

PS I am glad you correctly identified my avatar as an ocelot! Most people mistake ocelots for cheetahs or leopards.