#i mean she doesnt even use this app in the first place but I'm still paranoid about it lol

[whorangel]

😩

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!

[choisgirls]

hihi! would it be out of the question to ask for a smart but silly mc? like an mc that people think is dumb because they like to show more than their intelligence? i've been struggling with finding a balance between the two so people will think i'm smart as well as funny. someday i will be both in the eyes of many but for now one of your lovely imagines/headcanons would make me very happy. i really love your blog! keep up the great work and i hope you have an amazing day!!!

A/N: Aaa thank youlove ;u; im really glad you like the writing!!! sorry i end up talking so muchbecause im trash™ but still!! it means a lot~(also i struggle with this alot? Just be whatever you’d like to be love! doesnt matter what others think~ ithink you’re amazing~ ^^)

like there reallyshouldnt be a need to hide your intelligence level, sweetheart. Being smartisn’t something to be ashamed of ^^ and if people cant handle it then well fuckthem they arent worth your time

Masterlist~

*YOOSUNG:

-Honestly you werepretty goofy, but he loved it!

-Always wants someoneto joke and play games with

-But one day he wasstressing over this big test he had and he just… couldn’t… understand themath problem??

-You walked in to himbanging his head against the coffee table- you had to throw your handunderneath him so he couldn’t do it anymore. He was gonna knock himself out ifhe kept doing that!

-When you asked himwhat’s wrong, he’s starting to slowly get harder and harder to understandbecause he’s about to cry- but you’ve got to calm him down and wait until hecan tell you clearly

-You sit him down andlook over the problem. Internally, he’s panicking because? Oh no? He can’tunderstand it, would looking at it upset you?

-When you wrote thesteps and answer down, he looked at the paper and had to blink a few times. Youdid it! You did it correctly, too…. how?

-Didn’t want to berude because you were amazing and smart in your own way! But? You just…answered this seamlessly, how?

-You explained to himthat you’ve actually got a pretty good grip on your math skills- you tend to bethe highest in any of your math classes and you’re always willing to help himfigure it out

-You could easily havea degree in mathematics and he can never look at you the same way again. His carefree,sometimes oblivious s/o is also really smart. How did he not see it before?!

*ZEN:

-He’s smart but to adegree- definitely wouldn’t tell you with confidence that he was book smart

-Knows more streetknowledge, but he can hold his own in the schooling department

-Who is he kidding, hehas a dinosaur for a computer.

-So even if you werealoof, it wouldn’t bother him in the slightest~

-But one day, in thechatroom, Jaehee and Jumin had started to talk about business and profits

-Behind the screen, theboth of you were sitting together as he started to complain to you that he hadno idea what they were saying

-So you took time toexplain it all while he stares at you in disbelief

-When you start to getself-conscious of the fact he’s staring at you and saying nothing, he tries toassure you that it’s not a bad thing, he just didn’t know that side of you!

-Honestly I don’tthink it would change the way he thinks about you, he’s fine with both sides ofyou!

-If anything, he’shappy he has someone to explain a few things he may not get at first

*JAEHEE:

-She likes the sillyside of you because she’s always so serious

-Or she at least justappears that way to people, in reality she’s silly just like you are

-Just…. more privateabout it than you are! You’re more open about being carefree and silly~

-Sometimes you remindher of Saeyoung which is okay but sometimes it gets out of hand and she worriesabout you

-Like… you can holdyour own, right? You aren’t… always oblivious, are you? Please tell heryou’re aware of your surroundings, at least

-She’s watched youwalk away from lunch and have to run right back because you forgot your walletthere. She’s counted- it’s been 13 times now

-But apparently you’rejust.. forgetful?

-Because she’s watchedyou spit out fraction conversions when the two of you are baking together

-You can mess around,get flour all over you, and turn red and giggle while she dusts off yourcheeks, but the second she asks you to double the amount of brown sugar, you’reimmediately throwing out the numbers

-Sometimes she throwsconversions at you when you’re being extremely goofy and she just wants to makesure you’ve still got it

-She likes both sidesof you, she doesn’t see why you tend to hide one but she won’t pressure you toshow one more than the other

*JUMIN:

-Constantly remindingyou to calm down

-There are times thatyou need to be serious and you just aren’t

-It doesn’t bother himor anything but sometimes he’s tired of hearing others get so worked up aboutit

-Because it’s none oftheir business? He loves how carefree and fun you can be

-It’s a nice change ofpace compared to how he’s basically a piece of stale bread most of the time

-He lets himself getsilly around you, though, because you’ve unlocked that privilege~

-When someone came upand had told him that you were practically as dense as concrete, he stood upand was ready to defend you in a heartbeat

-Except you just satback, looked them in the eyes, and with a vast vocabulary of high end and*ahem* choice words, you told them it was none of their business how youdecided to act and maybe they should take a breath and calm down themselves

-Which left both themand Jumin in shock, because you brought up their numbers and stock dropswithout even blinking an eye in their direction

-So you /could/ beserious when you wanted! That was good to know, maybe he should try to provokeyou every now and again, see how serious you really could be?

*SAEYOUNG:

-Everyone thought hewas silly??? They didn’t know the /both/ of you

-Though everyone alsoknew how smart he was, you, on the other hand….

-He knew yourbackground and he knew what you’ve accomplished with your intelligence

-So he knew how smartyou could be, and he wasn’t positive why you decided to hide it

-One day, he’s tellingeveryone about this new program he was adding to the app, but was too excitedto explain it in words everyone could understand

-Taking the liberty totranslate, you not only explained it in simpler terms, you also kept spittingwords no one could understand while you asked for more details from Saeyoung

-And in all honesty,sometimes he has you type up some of his coding so he can take a break and eatmore chips

-When you /told/ himto rest but you know how he works, so he just sits and watches you

-Is always in awebecause you really don’t come off in this light- you just like to have fun andmess around

-But you know what hasto happen now right? Always place bets and play trivia games against everyoneelse, that’s what

*JIHYUN:

-Yes, dear god, becarefree with him

-That’s one of hisfavourite personality traits- being silly and just running through life

-Doesn’t even care ifyou seem naive, he’s sure you’re smart in your own way

-Like maybe in a deep,philosophical way! He can dig it

-Honestly, he isn’tone to judge someone based off of intelligence so you could have the IQ of agoldfish but if you’re rich in personality and love then he’s completelysmitten

-On the other end ofthe rainbow, he’d be completely okay with it if you were smarter than him,again just…. doesn’t mind

-So if you’re thissilly and carefree and are /also/ super smart then just /WOW/ he doesn’t knowhow to really react

-He just wants you tofeel comfortable enough to be yourself, not to hide a whole half of yourself

-If you’re smart thenbe smart! If you’re goofy, be goofy! You’re both? Sweet! Show it! There’s noshame!

-He has questionsabout anything? Immediately asking you so you know that he cares about everyaspect of you, not just one

*SAERAN:

-God just fucking stop

-Honestly he canhandle a little bit

-But if you’re to theextreme of his brother he can’t always handle you and just wants you to hush

-Also really concernedfor you though? Like you aren’t aware of yourself or your surrounding a lot

-I mean come on hetalked you into going into someone’s apartment, you were not the most cautiousperson

-Not to mention youthought it would be a good idea to, oh I don’t know, go poking around in thebusiness of a cult

-Really he thought youwere an idiot but he still for some reason loved you so here you two are now

-Though the first timehe fell asleep at the computer around you and woke up to his code finished, hewas surprised

-Then he was…amixture of angry and surprised because why didn’t he know about your secretintelligence and why didn’t you tell him

-He could’ve used youas an assistant ages ago while he was in Mint Eye if he had known! But nnoooyou had to go and hide it

-Encourages you to letyour intelligence show more often because there isn’t a need to hide it in thefirst place, it doesn’t change who you are inside