#i mean she seemed like such a nice lady amd i dont even think shes a bad person exactly i just think shes horrendously negligent

[timeisacephalopod]

Every once and awhile I like to burst my mom's bubble on something and right now I'm in the process of bursting her bubble on Dr Phil, Dr oz, and Oprah and thankfully these people documentedly suck so hard it's not actually difficult for me to pull up details I remember that if looked up absolutely can be corroborated.

Anyway it's kind of a fun hobby of mine, mostly because I already burst my own bubble on these people (except Dr oz I never liked that asshole I HATED how much he constantly talked about dieting and weight loss, my LEAST favorite topic even now tbh) and it's taken me like 3 years of hint dropping to get here ok. It's been a long time coming 😂😂😭

[dr-habit-b]

Pesky pups and pretty ladies

No application, no warning, heck, not even an email! Kamal was already working on two other applications from the other night, and before he knew what was even happening, from the corner of his vision through the window he saw some Habititans gathering around the entrance to the ‘carnival’ area. 

He didn’t think much of it at first, maybe the kids were trying to mess with Ronbo, he was the clown after all, but when he poked his head around the office’s big, clunky computer he saw-

Wait wAS THAT ANOTHER FREAKIN KID?

He bolted up from his chair and ran out to the balcony, gripping the railing as he leaned forward, squinting to see what was happening. In the middle of a few of the residents was definitely a new person, no doubt. Ohh god oh GOD what the heck? They definitely weren’t expecting anyone today, who..??? Geez, aw geez.

“Haaaaaabit! We got a! Thing!!!!” He called out from the balcony, his voice creaking with anxiety. He didn’t want to deal with this today!...

Kamal was staring down into the carnival area, rubbing his temples as Habit came up behind him, peering around to see his assistant’s face.

“Kamal? Whate’s the matter?”

He watched with curiosity and confusion as his assistant just gestured frustratingly down to the carnival, following his gaze. Oh! There was a little group down there, now what were they doing?

“Eye.. do’nt understand, whate is happening?”

He frowns a little bit as Kamal drags his hands down his face with a big sigh, looking up at him. The anxiety and worry was very apparent on his face... his hand twitches a little, wanting to hold his face, but he doesn’t.

“I dunno if you can see or not, but uh. The Habititans? Are? Around a. Uh. A kid. New kid. Like, ah, no application or anything I didn’t recognize them Habit oh my god what are we gonna do?!”

Kamal starts running his fingers through his hair and curling it around his fingers as he starts rocking on his heels a little. If this kid just showed up, without parents, or, hell, even with parents but no application, ohhh they’re gonna get in so much trouble.

He jumps a bit feeling big hands on his shoulders, looking up at Habit. 

“Kamal. It iz o.k. We wille figure thise out! Let us go ande greete theme!”

Kamal forces a little bit of a smile, taking a deep breath as he pats Habit’s arms, shaking his head as those big hands remove from his shoulders.

“Y.. yeah, yeah. Okay. That’s probably for the best anyways, uh, lets! Lets just go, yeah?”

Habit gives him a smile, just barely showing his teeth, and pats Kamal on the back as the two of them head down the elevator. They don’t say much, but Kamal can feel Habit staring down at him as he nervously fidgets and messes with his hair. He’s still really worried, but! But it’ll be fine, right? Right. They wont get sued, I mean, its not like Parsley is hanging out in the carnival. Its not like he’ll see this kid, coming in unannounced and unplanned, and think to sue them. Haha, right? Right?? That wont happen.’

Kamal doesn’t notice the elevator ding and open up at first, not till Habit pats his back and coaxes him out. Geez, okay, he needs to just. Breathe and take a moment to get out of his own head.

He takes their long walk down the long hallway to the boiler room to do just that, holding his hands together in front of them and staring down at them. He feels a hand on his back, Habit making sure to guide him and keep him walking. Its appreciated, to say the least.

By the time they exit that big door in the back of the boiler room, Kamal is at least calm enough to not be almost pulling out his own hair.

“Are u o.k?”

He didn’t jump at least, but as Kamal looked up at his boss, he took a moment to take in the worried expression on his face. They both stopped, just a few feet shy away from the door, just staring at each other. Kamal let out a weary sigh before finally answering.

“I.. I’m worried! A lot, but... but it’ll be fine, right? We’ll... figure it out... probably.”

A smile creeped up on Habit’s face and he nodded, giving Kamal’s head a little pat pat.

“Yese it will! Do note worri, if it go-es bad, eye will handl it. Thise is mine Habitat, after all.”

Kamal manages a smile back for him, but. His words both comfort and continue to worry him. But they weren’t going to figure out just standing here, so he decides to lead the way this time, with Habit following just a touch behind him.

The gathered Habitians had moved from the carnival gates into the middle of the courtyard, it looked like... Ronbo, Mirphy, Tiff and Jimothan were gathered by the new kid, talking amongst themselves and looking rightfully worried. They all turned their heads hearing Kamal and Habit approach, which made Kamal feel incredibly small.

Thankfully Habit took charge and stepped in front of Kamal, smiling with open arms.

“Hell-o evry-one!! I hear thate we have a new visitor two-day!” He clasps his hands together, gazing down at the awkward-looking teen in the middle of the adults. “Amd who mite you be, younge man?”

The boy just stared at him for a moment, probably taking in the height difference, before shaking his head and grinning wide with teeth covered in braces. He was a nerdy looking kid, to say the least, dressed up far too warm for this summer heat. But, Habit supposed he used to dress in a very similar way in his teen years...

“O-oh! Uh!” Wait, he clears his throat a bit, trying to keep his voice from so obviously cracking. “I’m Trevor Garbo! And I heard from a...” He gets all shifty eyed for a moment, before looking back to Habit with squinty eyes. “Reliable source, that you guys might have a Vampire lurking around here!! I had to come see for myself!”

Habit just blinked down at the kid, and he could feel how dumbfounded his expression looked. He glanced over to the adults around Trevor, who all seemed just as exasperated and confused. O-key... um. Hmm..

“Weel! I amn not knowing about thise, but... ah.. Trevor, did you come here... a-lone?”

He didn’t turn around, but he could feel Kamal behind him grabbing nervously at his coat. He could practically feel him begging for the answer to be no. And, well, Habit was hoping for that too of course. But if this kid did come here alone....

“..Oh, nah! Uh, actually. My mom dropped me off.”

Relief. Kamal practically melted into a puddle, and Habit felt a little weight off his shoulders too. Although...

“Dide she? Ah, iz.. she stille aroumd?”

The blank stare Trevor gives him does Not inspire confidence.

“Uhhh, nah? Nah, she left, for like. Work stuff I dunno. She heard me talking about this place and thought it’d be a nice place to drop me off while she did work stuff. Uh, that’s like. Okay, right? I mean, this is already way better than being alone at the house for weeks!”

....Oh god he’s sweating. What the heck? Okay. O-key, o.k, umm...

“Did... yew happ-en two fill out a app-licaton? Ate all?”

He’s trying not to seem too nervous, but he gets the feeling Trevor can tell anyways.

“Uh, nah. Was I.. ‘sposed to?”

A. Perfect.

Before he could even think of what to say next he felt movement behind him, and when he turned to look he saw his assistant hurriedly making his way to the carnival.

“Ah- Kamal! Waite!”

He started to follow only to stop, looking back at Trevor, who was starting to look just as worried as the adults. No, no that wont do. He squats so he’s not looking down at the kid, giving him a big, closed smile.

“Oh, do note worri, маленький, you hav no-thimg two be a-fraide of. We wille handle every-thing! Juste be nice two the others, o.k?”

When Trevor relaxes Habit stands tall again and gives him a pat on the head before turning quick and rushing after Kamal. He catches up with a few strides of his long legs and grabs him by the arm, stopping him for going further.

“Kamal. Pleaze, re-lax. Whate are you ev-en planning?”

His grip isn’t tight by any means, and he still feels badly about it, but he doesn’t let go. He can take a pretty good guess at what Kamal is wanting to do, but.. He doesn’t need to see his face to see how stressed out and worried he is about this situation, he can feel it in how Kamal trembles.

“If... if I can just. Just talk t-to, to Parsley, and.. and explain! What. Just happened! I’m.. I can fix this, and.. and get a handle on, on the situation, before... before it gets worse, so.. s-so let me go, doc, I can.. I got this.”

“No, Kamal, you do note.”

“AND WHY NOT?!”

Habit jumps slightly, hearing Kamal raise his voice like that, but he does his best not to waiver.

“Be-cauze you are verry stressed, rite now.” He feels Kamal start to tug his arm, just a little, and he reaches over to turn his assistance’s face to him. Once they’re looking at one another, Habit tries to give him a little smile.

“Liek I said, it iz o-key. Lemt me talk to Parslm. Parsm... Parsley.” He scrunches his face a little. Why did he have such a hard time with that name... regardless.

“Yew should staye and talke two Trevor a bit! Eye will handl the issue. Be-sides, we have an-other guest a-riving soon! U need to be calme so you can greete her, yes?”

Kamal’s intense gaze is able to make even Habit a little nervous, despite the disparity in their height, but he relaxes when he sees the other let out a tired sigh.

“I... okay, okay. Yer right I’m. Super messed up about this right now... I just... dont want you to get in trouble for this, y’know? You.. yer a good guy and this place is like, your dream! Sow hat.. what if...”

He gets cut off as Habit pats his head with a little laugh, blinking up at him in confusion.

“Welle! Thate is for me to worri about, note you. Go see Trevor, waite for our new Habitians, I will talk with Pars. O-key?”

Kamal just stares up at him for a second before letting out a little laugh, some of the tension ebbing away. He nods, patting hand still holding onto his arm till Habit lets go.

“Y.. yeah, ‘o-key,’ I’ll do that. Just uh... if! If you need me, I’ll, uh. Be.. not that far away, I guess, hehh...”

His face flushes a little as he starts to walk back towards the courtyard, but he tries to shake it off. That was a dumb thing to say...

-----

Habit watches him go with a smile before sighing himself, looking over to where Parsley was hanging out. He was sitting by that little tire fire.. wonder why he liked that area so much. But, well, not the time for that. He makes his way over, giving Parsley a wave when he notices him coming. Parsley doesn’t get up or anything, just stays sitting and hugging his suitcase. That’s fine, Habit will walk right over and squat beside him.

“...So, uh. Whats up, Mr. Habit? You and your assistant get into a ‘lovers quarrel’ or something? Haha.”

Habit shoots him a frown, and Parsley gives him an apologetic smile.

“Eye dont knowe if you saw, but... we got a new Habititian, a bite ago.”

“Oh? Sounds uh, fun. Why... are you telling me, exactly?” He cant help but frown a little at the nervous expression on this big man. Doesn’t sit well in his stomach.

“Weell.... He is younge, amd.. he tolde us thate, ah... his momther, juste dropped him off and left. We were work-ing on two applications a bit a-go, but.. they were note his. She didmt e-maile or anything, we have noo paper-worke for him.” His gaze drifts away from Parsley as he talks, and he rubs the back of his neck with one of his hands.

“Kamal is verri up-set. Worried thate eye will get in-two trouble for thise.. we were ho-ping yew could help us? You’re are a lawyer boy, amd may-b you could help make an application for him?”

He finally glances back over at Parsley, only to wince a little at the look of disbelief on his face.

“Ah... do you note truste me? We can go-”

“Oh, no no, you’re fine. I cant believe the nerve of that kid’s Mom!” He groans, and rests his forehead against his suitcase, grumbling to himself. Something or other about child negligence, and custody cases..

“Okay, OK, yeah. Okay. Dont worry, uh, doc, I got y’alls back. I aint no evil lawyer or anything, heh... Whats the kid’s name again?”

“Ah, I thimk he said... Trevor! Trevor... Garbo?”

Parsley hums a little bit, thinking for a moment as he drums his fingers against his suitcase.

“Hmm, Garbo, Garbo... Man, I think my firm dealt with a divorce with that name. All the applications are the same, right? I’m sure I can call someone, and get a hold of his information pretty easy.... Oh, uh, y’know. If thats all good with you and- uh...”

He looks up at Habit, whose looking right back at him with big teary eyes. Before he knows whats even happening he’ lifted up like a Child and hugged by this big crying green doctor, and. Well. Sure, why the heck not. It only lasts but a moment and when Parsley is put down Habit apologizes while wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“Aw, uh, no worries. No harm. I’ll, uh! Get to you, when I get the information and stuff, kay? I’d uh, do it now, but...” He glances over to the other side of the carnival, past the gates where the small group of adults and Trevor were still located.

Jimmothan was one of them...

“Ah, do note worri a-bout it. Eye understand.” Habit gives Parsley a pat on the back as he gets up, giving him a smile.

“You juste re-lax, amd I will come check-in later. I wille go see how Trevor is doing.”

They wave at each other before Habit starts heading back over to the courtyard, feeling lighter and more relieved. That went. MUCH much better than anticipated! Thank goodness. Though.. one of Parsley’s comments did plant a pit of worry in his stomach, but. Well. Nothing he could do about it, Parsley was the lawyer, not him.

-----

If Kamal wasnt so stressed out right now, he’d be very entertained by how Trevor just kept going on and ON about vampires. It was impressive, actually, even if he had no idea what the heck he was even on about. But as it stood he was passively listening to keep the kid happy, all while his worries covered him like a heavy, heavy blanket. He keeps glancing over to the big front doors of the Habitat, keeps listening for a knock or the sound of a bus or something. It feels like time is going agonizingly slow.

“...your name again?”

“Huh?” Oh, shit, he stopped listening. He looked back to Trevor, giving him a nervous smile.

“Uhh, sorry pal, didn’t catch that. Whats up?” 

“What’s your name again? And, uh, the tall guy?”

Good, good, just a question. He lets out a sigh and tries to relax again.

“My name’s Kamal, and that big lug you saw was Habit. He’s my boss, and the guy who runs this place. He, uh... I mean, we’ll need you to fill out an application, later, since. Since yer mom kinda just... y’know.”

“Ohh.. I uh, yeah thats! Fair, probably, sorry about that.”

“Nah, kid, dont even worry about it. Not your fault. Is, uh.. the only reason you came cause of the. Vampire thing?....” Where did he even hear that? Far as he’s aware none of these other folk are really internet people. “You know this is a place for like. Sad people, right?”

“Really? Well, honestly, I wasn’t sure. I mean, I did look at the website, but...”

Trevor shrugs, and Kamal gives him another nervous grin. Maybe he should look at that website... Habit put it together when they were first getting things running, he cant actually remember whether or not he checked it before hand. Maybe he should... go and make some edits. Or at least add some information. Or just look at it- whatever that was for later.

His attention went back to the front doors, while Trevor went back to talking about vampires to the other few adults around, who were listening to him with confused but endeared expressions. He was a little weird, but hey, whatever makes this kid happy right? After he was just dumped off by his mom, it was the least they could do.

Kamal found himself just staring at those doors, everything else out of his focus falling away. He started sort of bouncing one of his legs anxiously, starting to fiddle with his hair with one of his free hands. He was so out of it that he let out a very undignified squawk when he felt something touch him, turning around only to be met by his tall boss. They stared at each other before laughing a bit, Kamal giving an embarrassed apology before straightening.

“S.. so, uh, how’d it go with-” Ah. He glances over at Jimothan, who was talking with Trevor, before looking back to Habit.

“How’d it go?”

“Goode! Eye thimk it went good. He said he would help! Help two get Trevor’s in-for-mation, for an application. He is, thamkfully, on oure side withe this. There is no-thimg to worri a-bout, Kamal.”

He holds his arms out a little, an offered hug, and Kamal is quick to take it. God he was so relieved he could melt into a puddle right then and there.

But there was still more to do. They all chat for a fit, and the others disperse as Kamal leads Trevor up into the apartment area, practically hugging the wall all the way up while Habit followed behind with Trevor’s bit of luggage.

With the weight of all that legal stress off his shoulders, Kamal was a lot more lively. That was good, Habit liked to see that. Seeing his assistant so consumed by stress and anxiety.. really hurt, but he knew the feeling.

Once Trevor was shown his room, he was eager to have everything set up and decorated just how he wanted, so they left him to it. Still had to wait for the new Habititans to show up... hopefully nothing happened, but those worries were ditched quickly as they got to the bottom of the stairwell.

“Ohhhh heyyyyyyyy!” A woman in a green dress and frizzy looking hair waved over to them, accompanied by a.. well, to put it bluntly, another very sad looking woman with long teal hair.

Kamal let out a breath of relief seeing them and straightened, putting on a big smile as he and Habit approached the two.

“Hello! And, welcome to the Habitat! We’re very pleased to have you both, you didn’t have any trouble getting here did you?”

“Ohh not at all! Hahaha, wowww, you’re soo sweet! I met Lulia here the the busss stop and we chatted so much we forgot the bus! Soooo we had to wait for the next one, but itssss okay, no worries.” 

She ruffles Kamal’s hair, which gets a nervous laugh out of him. Was.. was this woman. Drunk? She, uh, she was sure acting like it. Well its a good thing she said they took the bus cause Kamal wasn’t sure how he’d feel if she drove here.

“Okay! Okay, thats... thats good to hear, at least.” At least, he thinks so. “You’re.. Jerafina, right? And I suppose the other woman is Lulia?”

“Ding diiiiiing! Hahaha, I alllllmost forgot you knew my name, I was totally shocked at first.” She turns to look at the other woman standing behind her. “Yooour name is Lulia??? Thats sooooo pretty!!”

Lulia just sighs, brushing some hair behind one of her ears. It looks like she’s blushing, but Kamal cant tell what exactly from. She really did look sad, and, well... her application had him figure as much, really. She was probably the worst case here right now, and honestly, it... made him nervous! What a shocker, but really. She would have to be someone they keep an eye on, for sure...

While he was lost in his thoughts Habit approached them, giving them a friendly smile and offering his hand for handshakes. Jerafina took it and shook maybe a little too eagerly, while Luila just turned her face away from the offer. She didn’t seem like one to talk, even though Jerafina mentioned them having a conversation... though, maybe Jerafina was just talking at her. Who knows.

“Weel! You two muste be tired, yess?? Let us go two you’re rooms! I cam carry your thimgs!” Habit beamed as they both gave him their respective suitcases, and he thought it was cute how each one matched its owner so perfectly. He glanced down at Kamal, who was looking at the stairs rather nervously, and nudged him with his elbow.

“Do note worry, eye can han-dle theme from hear. Yew go back two the office o-key?” He doesn’t give Kamal the chance to answer, actually, and turns a heel and walks towards the stairs with the two women following suit.

Kamal watches them go, hand partially raised like he was going to say something, but after a second he drops it and makes his own way back to the office. Come on, its okay, everything worked out fine. Nothing to stress about.

-----

Jerafina continued to chat up Lulia the whole way up the stairs and to the apartment rooms, up until she was shown her own room and given her suitcase. She pouted and whined about leaving Lulia behind, but eventually left to her own devices after a moment. Habit was thankful when she did, letting out a little sigh. She definitely reeked of alcohol. Well! Good thing they the lounge, and Jimothan.

His walk with Lulia was significantly quieter, and Habit all too quickly missed Jerafina’s mindless chatter. He never knew what to say to people who didn’t want to talk, so... they didn’t. Lulia didn’t seem to mind at least. When they reached her room Habit set down her luggage and looked over to her, offering a little smile.

“Do note worry, miss Lulia. Yew can take as much tiem here as you neede. If there is any-thinge you neede, let me knowe.” His smile strains a little bit as she nods and continues to stay quiet, watching her step into her room. He lets out a quiet sigh through his nose. Well... he cant blame her. These sorts of things arent easy for everyone. Admitting you’re in a bad place, and need some kind of help..

“...You are a-mong friends, here. We are alll deal-img withe pro-blems. Big! Or small. Do note be a-fraid two talke to some-one. O-key?” He stares at the back of her head for a long time before smiling a little when she finally nods. He wishes her a good rest of the day and makes his way back down the stairs, and towards the boilers.

He hopes Kamal is okay. Today piled a lot of unexpected stress onto him, and Habit knew just how anxious he got about things... Well! No matter, he would make sure things ran smooth as they can go. Tomorrow he’ll check in with Parsley, and get to work on all of Trevor’s papers. Maybe see if... Parsley can get a hold of his mom. Or... something. Anything. That whole situation didn’t sit right with him..

When he reached the elevator he hit the up button and waited patiently for the ding, listening to the hum of the machine as it whirred to life. He was still lost in thought, but didn’t miss the quiet sound under the mechanical hum. He lifted his head a bit to listen more intently, looking around the empty room.

Empty? No, that wasnt right. His eyes widened a bit as his gaze landed on one of the corners of the room, where he spotted a small form, pressed against that corner and looking very small. His expression fell and his chest tightened painfully.

“Oh, лилия....” The words slipped out, just barely audible, and Habit turned to make his way over to that small form as the elevator dinged and opened behind him. He stopped just shy of the other, and slowly sat down on his knees in front of him.

Kamal was sat so tucked into that corner and into himself that he looked so, so much smaller than normal. Habit could see the way he trembled, even in the dim room, and could see the uneven rising and falling of his breathing, despite him being utterly silent. He reached out to him, only to stop just shy of touching his head. He hesitated for a long while, thinking over what to do.

“Is touche o-kay?”

For a while, Kamal didn’t give him a response, verbal or otherwise, but he eventually nodded. Habit breathed a sigh of relief and started to gently stroke the top of his head, lightly dragging his finger tips through his hair.

“I ame... so sorry, Kamal... I should note hav left you a-lone.” Especially when the way up to the office was so... dark and spooky. He should really try getting some lights down here sometime, he thinks, but- no no. That wasn’t important right now.

What was important was the fact that he let his assistant, his friend, get so anxious like this. He’s sure he could have done... something better along the way.

He continues to comb through Kamal’s wavy hair with his fingers, not sure what to say next. Not sure what would or wouldn’t make it worse.. but he knew being down here wasn’t going to make it any better, thats for sure.

Gently he started to coax Kamal into uncurling.

“Here, lemt me carry you two you’re room. Yew wille be more comfy there.”

Eventually Kamal let Habit pick him up, but he hid his face in his hands the whole time. That made Habit giggle a bit, which seemed to relax Kamal a little. Good! That was... a little progress, at least. He carried him up and into the elevator, pushing the up button. Kamal, being his assistant, shared a room right across from Habit’s. Easy to get to and from the office quickly.

As the elevator came to a slow stop and dinged, the doors sliding open, Kamal finally found his voice as Habit stepped out.

“Imm.. ss-sorry...” His voice was quiet and cracked easily, giving away his crying. It really tore up Habit from the inside out, hearing him like that.

“Kamal no no, you do’nt haf two be sorre for an-y thimg....” He nudged Kamal’s door open as he reached it, thankful it wasnt closed all the way, and went to go sit on the bed. Still holding him close.

“Bu.. but I. I-I didnt... ee-even help!.. I was,, ss-so useless...” And that was it, wasn’t it. He tried so hard all the time, he worked so hard, all the time. Did everything his parents wanted him to, studied and made perfect grades even at the expense of his well being, got into a good college, then went to a good dentistry school, kept studying hard and making perfect grades-

But god, god, life throws one unexpected thing at him and he totally falls apart. Just one! And it wasnt even that bad! So- why??

He flinches a little bit as his hands are pulled from his face, and he stares, teary-eyed up at his boss, who looks back down at him with worry and pain.

“You are Not use-less. Kamal.” Habit closes his eyes for a second to take a breath, and when he opens them again, his gaze is much softer.

“Yew are wonderful. So.. smarte, and hard-workeing, all the time! Even whene you do’mt haf to be. You check and re-cheke ev-ery-thing so thate you are sure it is all in-order! Thate everything is o-key! Yew hav re-membered manee little de-tales I do not, and have fixed mine mistakes thate I missed. Ande yew care a-bout the Habititans as much as I do.” He gives Kamal a warm smile, gently wiping a few tears away with his thumb.

“Far from use-less, in mine o-pinion.”

Kamal cant help his face flushing as Habit speaks, glancing away when he starts touching his face. It does bring a little smile to his face, and he cant help but.. laugh? Just a little bit.

“Y... yer.. such a sofie, y.. y’know that?” He doesn’t look back up at Habit, but he does put a hand over top the one still touching his face, as if to say ‘keep it there.’

Habit just stares down at Kamal with a little smile on his face, staying quiet for a bit before letting out a little laugh of his own.

“Hah, may-b! Thate is a good thing, no?”

Its only now that Kamal finally looks up at Habit, giving him a small smile of his own.

“Yeah... yeah I, I think so.”

They stay like that for a long while. Habit moves so that his back can lean back against the wall, and Kamal stays in his arms. He feels like this should be... way more weird, I mean, he was. Being held by his boss? After having a mini breakdown. In his own room??? On his bed??? But... it was just. Nice.

They talked about nothing in particular for what felt like hours, till Kamal stopped getting answers back. He glanced up, only to see that Habit was starting to doze off. He felt his face flush again along with this warm, but also nauseous feeling in his chest. At first he thought he might be about to have a panic attack, but this feeling still felt more.. pleasant than anything, pleasant and nervous.

...Wait a second.

Ah,

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #8: "The fajitas are truly guiding me" - Matt

OMG i made it to the merge. Im so happy but now let the game begin.

im so sad. dennis was such a king. and to be taken out by nick... like idek what to do with this merge. ppl i want to work with: nathan, maynor, brian, anna?, matt? idek if i wanna work with brian its just i like meeting new ppl NNN i wanna work with sharky too. but like nathan loves nick apparently. like... no ty!!! nicole... keaton? no ty! my preferred boot order is just keaton. nick. nicole. thats it idc!!! i dont wanna work with like og absolem tho bc theyre all tight without me but the other options arent good either EFKJDSAHKJ. i am waiting for redemption island twist pls and ty although my luck jaydne comes back NNn well these are initial thoughts woohoo

PHEWWWWWW I MADE MERGE BITCHES!!!!!! Honestly that tribal was so fucking cracked and all kicked off in 20 mins at the end with nick revealing he had an idol. and YEET i was so close to playing my idol as well. The fajitas are truly guiding me (even tho i am eating them tomorrow for lunch and I am very excited hehehe) Brian, myself and sharky are gonna align (tho not telling about the idol tho) so woooo lets go merge!

I hate my life. a forced self vote? no thanks. UGH TIME TO DIE!

WE FUCKING MERGED! And I got rid of Dennis. Which I do feel slightly bad about it but it was time to make a move. I playing loose this season and I'm going to see how far it takes me. I have alliances with Maynor, Brian, Nathan, Annabelle, Matt, Nick, and sort of Nicole so that puts me in a pretty good spot as long as I don't overplay and show my cards too soon. I've got to walk the line very carefully. And ngl careful is not my strong suit.

Ok now Let's rank my mergemates. 1) Brian- husband. 2) Matt- second husband. 3) Maynor- best man at my double wedding to Matt and Brian. 4) Annabelle- my fave underrated queen. 5) Nathan- I love him but check back in a few rounds ok. 6) Bryce- we barely talked but he loves Chi Chi Devayne so...I love him. 7) Nicole- ...every season needs a purple edit 8) Nick- cool kid but I'm sooo bitter about wanting him gone 3 tribals in a row 9) Keaton- who?

Well, merge is finally here and i get to reunite with Sharky. Which is great because he was my duo from the begining and now i have Keaton as my other duo.i also have Bryce as well. Nathan wants to work with keaton and I so thats good and i believe he’s tight with Annabelle so shell come along as well. Thats already 5 with me is 6. As long as none of them are targeted first vote and others are. Ill be sitting in a good spot. From here the first vote, i wouldnt mind voting out Nicole. Only one to yet to talk to me besides saying hi.

WEELLLLL!!! I merged, ladies (and lads)!  I cannot believe it, but I have made it!!  I think I know what my strong points are right now in my game and I just have to keep playing on them.  I'm a lot stronger socially now and I want that to continue going into the merge.  I have allies in every single little aspect of this game, and I want to ensure the people I'm not working with go first.  So less than half of these hoes better watch their backs!

Now that I've merged and have freedom with who I want to work with, I'm definitely going to try and solidify my quad-some with Sharky, Nathan, and Annabelle as a final 4 alliance and also make sure that my other final alliances (one with Bryce, who I just met up with, and then one with Matt) also are stronger than ever before.

I usually do like cast run-downs and... idk... I haven't yet in this game, but I guess I will now going into the merge!!

Annabelle - A queent!!  I absolutely love her and wish that a trio of Ariana stans (with Marie) could've gone through!!  I can't wait to strengthen my bond with her and for us to slay this game together! Bryce - I may have just met Bryce in game, but I've known him for a little bit!  We have never really had a full-on conversation, but we have talked in passing and in some League games.  I've talked to him for like... 30 minutes so far... and he's already a top person in this game for me.  Love him! Keaton - idk him, but he's already trash talked Marie to me... so .... bye ! Matt - I adore him... he's... an angel!  I see myself working with him for a long time in this game, and I have to hope he feels the same hehe... Maynor - eh!  I like him, but we don't.... click... so if he goes home... he goes home... :S... Nathan - LOVE HIM!  He's so funny and so nice and he says we have a final 2, but girl... if we get to final 2 together it's by sheer luck because I shoreeee as hell know he's going hard or going home.... and I'm not playing that same balls to the walls type of game! Nick - LOL OK??? Idols replace social play and gameplay ig!!! Nicole - I just wish she was more active because I'd love to really put all my trust in her, but I don't really ever talk to her! Sharky - ANGEELLLL!!! Das my game hubby... I adore him so much... I really thought I was going to go into this game wanting to fuck him up with a lawn mower, but here I am putting all my eggs into his basket and trusting him completely... I hope I'm making the right decision!  I know he's a big threat, but I just lahva him a lot! Ugh..

This challenge is very interesting. Im just hoping that I somehow get enough points to get the high amount. Immunity would be great. Still working out who i could work with and who i would target. I know for sure that im going to be with Keaton and Sharky. Still dont know about the others yet.

I do not want this immunity. There's like weird touchy subjects vibes. If I win it means a lot of people wanted me to get immunity so I'm well liked which will translate to "Threat". I told the jock destroyers to give me negative items. So hopefully if my other allies give me positive scores it will even out to a smooth 0 and I can stay relatively under the radar.

So I went idol hunting and I got closer than I had ever gotten before. I could just tell. So I gave Brian the info and told him where I went wrong. And he didn't find the idol but he DID find a steal a vote advantage! So Brian and I are getting a nice little tool belt around our waists. Now we just need to get all these people to do what we want.

Everyone is being really quiet. But thats okay because this gives Maynor and I a great opportunity to strategize. To my surprise he threw out Nicole's name! Which is great. It might be too soon to go for her because I've been talking Dinah strong for a few rounds now (even though I voted Dennis out). But it's still good to know that she's on his radar. Now the goal is just to set up a F5 alliance that Brian and I can ride to F6. Maynor and I still have The Scream Team alliance and I'm loyal to that. So if I can move forward with Maynor and Brian then I can just fill in the others as we go.

Okay SWIFT UPDATE. Maynor brought up Matt's name and I was basically like "Um...I don't want to do that" and then discovered that he doesn't think Nicole has his back at all. Which would undermine any Dinah strong stuff. And I'm not going to stick my neck out to save her over a vote on my side for a few more rounds. Especially if she might flip anyway. Hmm…

Now I'm getting a chance to talk game with Anna! This night is really picking up. Unfortunately she seems to have some animosity towards Matt. Why does everyone hate Matt? I think he's bloody awesome! Oh well. She also isn't a fan of Nicole or Keaton so I can direct her target that way for a few votes and for now we seem to be on the same page minus the Matt thing.

Sharky and I are still up at midnight. We came up with a tribal vote plan which is awesome. The target tonight is going to be Nicole. I feel like shes a threat and needs to go. Sharky and I created an ideal final 5 which is me, Sharky, Brian, Matt, amd Bryce. My side alliance is Keaton and Nathan. On the outs is Nick, Annabelle, and Nicole. We are saying that Keaton said Nicole’s name and that Nicole said Keaton’s name. But main targetbis Nicole. Hopefully this plan works and Nicole goes tonight.

Things are falling into place baby! So Maynor wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. He thinks he can get Bryce on board. Annabelle also wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. I know from The Jock Destroyers Alliance that she (and I) have Nathan's vote. Anna also says she wants to work with Bryce. And Bryce told her that he feels close to Maynor. (I'm realizing Bryce is a HUGE social threat and I'm not going to be able to keep him around for too long but for now he's a number on my side.) Now, both Maynor and Annabelle also love Brian. They both also know I can bring Nick to the table because Nick trusts me. So right now I perfectly situated in the middle of a 7 person voting block. Am I a mastermind?

CLASSIC ANNABELLE. I set up this whole majority situation and told her to choose Keaton or Nicole and we can make it happen. BUT SHE WON'T CHOOSE. I love her but she always does this. She's so about being quiet that she refuses to ever make a move. Last time we played together she said I was a bully and never asked her what she wanted. Now I'm trying to be a better ally and listen to her moves AND SHE WON'T MAKE ANY. So frustrating.

Having Keatons name out was good cuz now he wants to target Nicole because she is the other name thats been thrown out. My alliance of mkn is helping get the votes for Nicole which is great.

so the names thrown out are keaton or nicole and its looking like nicole is gonna go bc ppl think shes a better player bc she gets far in tumblr games which like i guess is tea but its just sad that meta has a factor :( esp when shes like irrel in this game noah fence KJFADSHKFJAS. and like maynor prob has f2 with keaton.. but idc i guess she ghosts me all the time so w/e. im just hoping next round we can get like someone whos actually a threat out.

I WON IMMUNITY which means I made single digits!  I'm so happy with myself... I didn't really do much to deserve it, but I'm so happy I won because it means I can be a little more ballsy this round with throwing out names and whatever!

I'm thinking of voting Keaton out as a sort of revenge for Marie, but Nicole's name is out there, too, and I just really want to make the right move to launch my game into the next round in an even better spot!  I feel like the top of the world right now, and I want to keep that high.  The immunity challenge showed that even though I think I'm a fucking mess, I'm doing well enough socially.

As for that, I want to quickly add in that I love all my allies so much.  Sharky just helped me find a vote steal power which will be so useful for the long run of this game, and I cannot wait to use it to hopefully slay.  Nathan and Annabelle are angels and are also really nice for me to bounce ideas off of.  Bryce is just amazing to talk to and I really see him in my longterm plan.  Matt's another person I see in my longterm plan.  Ideally, this is probably my top 6... and I've since grown closer to Nick and we are working together "for the sake of Sharky", but I think he's more-so a side piece for me in this game!

So....I’m pretty certain I’m leaving because nobody wants to talk of anything of substance with me. It’s hard because I know I deserve to go, I haven’t been in a place mentally to give everything I need to, to this game. But that doesn’t mean I want to leave. It’s just hard, Dennis was my number one ally and now that he is gone it’s gonna be hard to reform my trust and alliances with everyone. Oof. It’s alright. Hoping that someone can use me as a vote about now but, don’t think that’s a possibility.

So I am keeping VERY quiet about my disadvantage, as I don't want anyone to know about it and jump on a bandwagon to use it against me! Like no thanks I'll pass. It looks like it'll either be Keaton or Nicole, would much rather it be Anna but she's immune smh. As long as my name ain't mentioned I'll be Gucci I hope. REEEE

Now that everyone is awake it's time to put in some work to execute the plan Anna/Maynor/myself made last night. We need to get everyone on board with voting Nicole. But I also need to make sure Nicole feels safe just in case she has an idol. I'm going to talk to Matt and Nick. As long as they vote Nicole we should be solid. I'm also going to start an alliance chat with the OG Dinah members so that we can talk about strategy and make sure Nicole feels safe with us. Then as long as everyone is telling the truth (cause no one ever lies in Survivor) it'll all be good.

Can i say that Sharky making a fake alliance chat with Nicole when we are planning on voting her out is very cold blooded. Like honesty doing it to try and throw off her scent of the vote is perfect.

I’m so glad sharky seems to be much more transparent with me. I’m really excited to see how this goes tbh I feel like we’d make a good pair. We be played together before and I thought he would be made at me for like wanting him out in canadienne but yeah I’m excited for merge!

Okay the alliances just keep piling up. It's definitely going to cause an issue later on. But for now it's good. And the newest one, The FB Bois, is one I actually do plan on staying loyal too. I really trust Matt and Brian. I like them both a lot and I want to work with them. Hopefully they feel the same. F4 with Brian, Matt, Maynor is my goal.

We are coming close to tribal. Its nerve wracking cuz it looks like nicole hasnt scrambled so she might have an idol. Im going to see if my side alliance would vote for Matt (keaton and nathan). Just in case there is an idol played. But as far it looks like Nicole is going.

For once my name hasnt been a top priority! its crazy... I really dont know what to do about it but im loving it so much... lets just wait though until I get out in about 30 mins...

Nicole is voted out 6-3-1.