#i might not go to my class tmrw morning too idk yet :( but i just finished (i think) one deadline thingy for monday

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[problematicc-favs]

hoodie; connor murphy x reader smut (kinky lol)

request: honestly idk specifics, someone requested overstim, lots of people want kinky smut, lots of people want connor. it’s just... yeah.

kinky, so so kinky, lovin life

word count; 1622

tws; daddy kink, orgasm delay/denial, degrading nicknames, normal pet names, overstim, fem!reader (male reader smut is coming out hella soon like hopefully tmrw don’t quote me on that), punishment ig, connor murphy makes me hard, even tho im a female

if i forgot any tags lemme know

So, you may or may not have skipped class today for basically no reason. May or may not be cuddled up on your couch in your boyfriend’s hoodie. You.. may or may not have fallen asleep like that.

The problem with staying home from school, asleep on your couch in your boyfriend’s hoodie, was that you had also forgotten to tell said boyfriend about your decision to play hooky. And since you had fallen asleep, you hadn’t been able to reply to his many, many concerned (and slightly angry) text messages.

 And ‘concerned and slightly angry’ is exactly how Connor felt when he burst into your house in the middle of the day. Sure, it’s not like you had never skipped class before, but the fact that you hadn’t invited him to skip with you was strange to say the least.

He would never admit it, but part of the reason he was so worried was because a small voice in the back of his head saying you were fucking someone else. It’s not that he didn’t trust you, but he had always thought you were too good for him.

That was one of the many reasons he was relieved when he saw you passed out on your couch. He didn’t want to wake you up, so he sat on the edge of the couch instead, brushing your hair out of your face. He looked up and down your body and did a double take when he realized what you were wearing. He smiled slightly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. You mumbled incoherently in your sleep and Connor chuckled softly. He kissed your nose, and then your cheek, eventually moving down to your lips. You shifted slightly, eyes fluttering your eyes open slightly. “Morning, princess.” Connor half-joked. “Don’t be so condescending.” You whined, pulling down the fabric of the hoodie you were wearing. Your boyfriend’s eyes followed your hands. You watched his eyes, biting your lip slightly. “Whatcha looking at, babe?” You giggled. “Nothing. It’s just, you’re wearing /my/ hoodie, and you didn’t even ask me if it was okay.” He replied, booping your nose. “I’m sorry.” You said softly. “Do you want me to.. um..” One of your hands trailed up to the zipper of the grey hoodie, pulling the it down slightly to reveal that you were wearing nothing beneath it. “Like, take it off? If it’s that much of a problem, I mean.”

You could barley hold back your laughter as you watched his eyes glaze over with lust almost instantly. “Maybe you should, princess.” Connor nodded slightly.

“But it’s so comfy.” You whined. “I don’t wanna.”

Connor rolled his eyes, putting his hand on top of yours, which was still fidgeting with the tab of the zipper. “Take it off, or I’ll do it for you.”

You didn’t reply, which prompted him to start unzipping it himself. “Don’t be such a tease, babygirl. I might have to punish you.” Connor warned, pushing your hand away so he could open the hoodie more to expose the rest of your chest. “God, you look so fucking good in this baby. It’s almost a shame you have to take it off.” He scoffed, leaning down to kiss you roughly. You kissed back intently, wrapping your arms around his neck and moaning against his lips as his hands moved to caress your breast. He broke away from the kiss moving to cover your neck in purple hickeys. Your hands shot up to his hair, tugging on his light brown locks roughly.

You smiled to yourself as he moaned, tugging again. Connor quickly trailed his lips down your body, eventually pulling your nipple into his mouth. You gasped, gripping his hair. His hand began to massage your other breast, and you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips. He glanced up at you, almost moaning just at the sight of your mouth half-open in pleasure. He pulled away from you to pull his shirt off, and you ran your hands up and down his chest, tracing the contours of his body. “Enjoying yourself?” He asked teasingly. “Of course, daddy.” You nodded innocently. He let out a deep noise from the back of his throat before his lips began to move down your body once again. He left a trail of marks down your stomach and to the hem of your athletic shorts. “Daddy, please.” You breathed out.

“What do you want me to do, babygirl?” He asked, keeping eye contact with you. “You know what I want.” You groaned. “Maybe I do, but I want to hear you say it.” Connor replied firmly. “I want you to fuck me.” You said, almost exasperatedly. “Again.”

“I want you to fuck me, daddy. Please. Please just fuck me.”

“Not yet, babygirl. Soon, I promise.” He chuckled, pulling down your shorts and panties at a torturingly slow pace. You squirmed in anticipation, whining quietly. “You’re so fucking desperate for me to touch you, aren’t you, slut?” You felt like you were practically dying just laying there under him while he teased you. “Maybe I should just leave you here like this, all needy for me. Maybe then you won’t skip class and wear my clothes without telling me.” He added.

“N-No, Connor—” He pinched your inner thigh gently. “Daddy,” You quickly corrected yourself. “P-Please d-don’t leave me like this. Fuck, please. L-Let me touch you at the least. God. Fuck.” You rambled desperately. Connor listened to your begging with an amused smirk, his fingers dancing along your inner thighs as you spoke. “Is this what you want, princess?” He questioned as his finger rested at your entrance. “You’re so fucking wet for me.”

You could barley form a coherent thought as he pushed two fingers inside of you, curling them slightly. He watched your face as he began to pump them in and out of your heat. He could feel his own need growing as you moaned beneath him. “Are you gonna cum for me, slut? Hm? You are, aren’t you. I’ve barley even started and you already have to cum.” He wasn’t wrong. With all of the buildup, you knew you wouldn’t last long. “But here’s the thing, princess. Daddy doesn’t want you to cum yet, so you’re gonna hold off.” He groaned in annoyance and pleasure, looking at him desperately. “Daddy, I c-can’t.”

You gulped. “You can, and you will.” He said simply. You had hoped that meant that he would go easy on you, but that wasn’t the way Connor played. No, instead he added a third finger to the mix and began to kiss your neck. You tried your best to control yourself, but his pace was relentless, and only a minute or two later you could feel yourself cumming hard. “Daddy, I’m sorry-“ You began to apologize quickly, but Connor didn’t answer. He continued to stimulate you until you had rode out your orgasm, and silently removed his fingers from you when you were done. Saying you were terrified would be an understatement. He was never quiet when you did something wrong. He would always scold you.

“You couldn’t fucking help yourself, could you?” He shook his head. You began to reply but found yourself moaning instead as you felt his tongue prod at your already sensitive clit. Your hips bucked up towards his mouth, and he pushed them back down roughly, pinning you down. He began to eat you out quickly, his hands gripping your thighs painfully tightly, not that you minded. You shut your eyes, which Connor responded to by slapping your thigh. Obviously he wanted you to watch, and you obliged, not wanting to piss him off any more than he already was. You felt a warmth growing in the pit of your stomach.

“Daddy, I’m gonna cum.” You warned. Connor removed his mouth from you and replaced it with his fingers rubbing circles against your clit. “Go ahead. It’s not like you listened to me the first time.”

You came, practically screaming. You were panting and shaking at this point, but Connor wasn’t done. “Do you still want me to fuck you now, princess?” He glared at you.

“It’s gonna be too much.”

“You were begging earlier, and I promised you. Come on. You know daddy always keeps his promises.” He unzipped his jeans and kicked them off, and only now did you release how hard he was. You wanted to object, but you knew this was your punishment.

“Good girl.” He said sarcastically, removing his boxers and lining himself up at your entrance. You cried out gently as he pushed into your oversensitive heat. He let out a groan of satisfaction, and he gave you minimal time to adjust before he began to thrust at a surprisingly fast pace. “Daddy,” you breathed out. “You feel so good, baby. Fuck. I’m so in love with you.” He groaned. You raked your nails down his back, causing him to moan. You felt tears begin to brim in your eyes as you felt your third orgasm coming. “I-It’s too much.” You said quietly. “Fuck. Fuck.”

Connor kissed you gently, wiping away any tears. “Come on, princess. Last one. For me. It’ll make up for your little mistake earlier.”

You nodded ever so slightly and came for a final time, whimpering and shaking. Connor came soon after, moaning praise against your skin as he did so. “You did so well for me, baby. I love you so much.” He mumbled after a few seconds, pulling out of you and wrapping his arms around you soothingly. “Are you okay?” He asked genuinely. “I’m okay.” You assured him quietly, snuggling into his embrace. “You’re too kinky for your own good.” You added jokingly.  “Whatever. You know I love you.” Connor smiled, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Eh. Maybe.” You shrugged. “Don’t make me angry,” he warned. “I might have to punish you again.”

“Yeah. You might.”