#i might post some lighting expirements later hmmm

[hyperfixated-homo]

IT IS DONE!!! I colored all the lineart from this post by @cofe-doodles :DD

This was so fun to do aodjwaijsd the art is impeccable and I just had to throw in some fun design headcannons (blond virgil for the win). If you like this check her art out!

Flat colors for each piece under the cut :)

[phoenotopia]

2020 July Update

Things have gone slowly... again.

The good news is that the game is now submitted to the console "authority" and it's entirely off my hands. Once it gets through the console "checking" process, it can get a release date and we can sprint towards release. Until then, it'd be at least a month's wait or more until I hear anything. Understandably, their checking process is impacted by Corona, so wait times are increased.

On my end, I was also slow to submit the game. I submitted it late late June, since I ended up spending 7 weeks fixing bugs (and not 2-3 weeks like I estimated in the last blog post). There were just SO many bugs - now squished, thankfully. Since this is a blog post, I'll talk about what kind of bugs I've been fixing.

The other thing that slowed down the submission process was simply due to unfamiliarity with how these submissions proceed. There were pages and pages of stuff to read, guidelines to follow, and legalese to wade through. It really made me wish I had a publisher to guide me through the process. But I was able to clear it with a couple days work. I had an impression that the submission process went like A->B->C->D, with no room for concurrency. Turns out I could have done steps B & C at the same time and sped things up by 2 weeks... So that's that. I'm taking that as a lesson for next time.

The Console Revealed

What is this console that I talk about so stealthily? So that this blog update isn't completely unexciting, I'll reveal which console I've been working on until now. Drumroll please!

It's Switch!

We actually got the Switch dev kit in late 2017. From my understanding, around this time in the USA, the Switch kit was quite hard to get for indies as it was just starting out and high in demand. So I was surprised that my application got approved. I didn't know it then, but the game would still need a few more years of development...

Tweaking performance and fixing bugs

Here you can see my "expert" playtest setup. Since the Switch is more powerful while docked, I needed to playtest it in handheld mode, so I could catch and profile any problem areas where the framerate was unsteady. The most common thing that caused framerate drops were areas that went overboard with lighting. For these areas, I'd tweak or swap out the lights with alternatives that looked similar while also being less computationally intensive. Maintaining 60 FPS is a must!

An old camera (Nikon D3100) trained at the screen recorded my playthrough and would let me rewind to any moment a bug occurred. It could only record in 10 minute chunks, so I'd have to repeatedly repress the record button. On the plus side, because it's so old the movie file sizes were small and convenient.

The number one bug that I tracked and fixed in the past two months was what I dub the "Gear Ring De-equip" bug. The Gear Ring functions as customizable shortcut keys for the player to map items and tools (see an old video demonstration HERE). Through regular use of the inventory, somehow the equipped items on the Gear Ring would be de-equipped. It was an elusive bug since the de-equip event would happen very quietly and you would only suspect something had gone wrong much later. By then, the trail had gone cold and you weren't sure if a de-equip had actually occurred or if the player had simply de-equipped the item themselves. Two other playtesters noted that something left the Gear Ring in their playthrough, but I dismissed them. "Are you sure you didn't just de-equip it yourself?" It was a bug that bred mistrust and discord. I didn't truly believe it until it happened to me...

Luckily, with the camera setup, I was finally able to track it. In the literal 67th video, I caught a live instance of the bug occurring. After which, it was all too easy to recreate the exact same inventory and gear ring setup and replicate it.

(With this exact item layout, combine the 2nd item with the 14th item... and viola! Gear Ring de-equip!)

After fixing this bug, I then proceeded to fix it 5 more times. Every time I fixed it, it would later reappear through a different mechanism. 

Why do bugs like this happen? Underneath, there are two lists of items. Tools on the right and items on the left. Items can occur multiple times because they're consumable. Both lists start counting their indexes with the value 0. However, both items and tools co-exist on the gear ring. So to uniquely identify an entry you need both the item ID and the data index. Failure to check both data types resulted in bugs like the Gear Ring de-equip. Now throw in a bunch of item operations that can confuse the system. You can split items, combine items, swap items, or discard items. The more freedom you allow, the more ways there are for the system to trip up.

If you didn't get all that, that's alright. It was needlessly complicated. Imagine doing more and better and with less code and less bugs! Such a thing is possible if you start with the right design. I'm definitely taking notes here on how to design inventory systems for next time. In the meanwhile, I'm very confident I've squished all inventory related bugs.

Other bugs squashed and features implemented in the past 2 months include the end game arts not unlocking properly, collection percentages climbing beyond 100, stray doors floating in the sky, low HP sfx blaring when loading different files, balance tweaks on bosses, a max HP display when the menu is open - too many to count really! It was only after I fixed them all that I was confident enough to move forward with submitting the game. I apologize for the delay this will cause!

PC version back in progress

You may recall in the March 2020 update I talk about how in pursuing the Switch version, I unwittingly ruined the PC version. Well, since the game is "done" now and I'm waiting for it to go through the checking process, I've started working to reclaim the PC version.

And there is some good news to report. The PC version can compile again! Of course, it will need to have some work done, since it was late 2017 when I last had a functioning PC build. 

The opening menu is broken, the underlying save file system needs to be updated, and the controls... oh Lord, the controls. Controls were probably the #1 factor in pushing me to pursue a console version first. There are just so many controller options. Even just the usual suspects are numerous: Xbox, Nintendo, Sony, Logitech, Hori, 8Bitdo, Steam...

One of the number one complaints received regarding the flash game (which was keyboard primarily) was that I didn't allow controller rebinding to start. It was then that I learned of the vast array of different keyboard types.

(Ever heard of an Azerty keyboard?)

I shan't make the same mistake twice! One of the things I'll definitely tackle is the Right/Left face button feud when it comes to which should one should be 'confirm' and which one is 'cancel'. I want to allow the player to choose which is their "YES" and "NO" preference and allow that to overlap other actions like Attack or Jump.

Even after control bindings are taken care of, some things just won't translate well. The right control stick is currently used to access the gear ring and for fishing. Keyboards have no right stick. Aiming the crossbow with a full 360 degrees of range is done with the left control stick - if keyboard only, would the crossbow simply be locked to the 8 cardinal directions? What about those tutorial prompts with button graphics (e.g. "Press 'B' to Jump"). If using the playstation controller, it'd need to be the CROSS symbol. How many button graphics are we gonna load into the text module? What if the player, mid-playthrough, decides to swap out controllers? Indeed, there are many issues to tackle where controls are concerned...

Perhaps I'm overthinking it because even some AAA games get this wrong (Dark Souls has 'B' as 'Yes' on Switch, and it's not remappable, which I find quite annoying). I've seen games on consoles where the controls wouldn't mention the console's controller at all but instead mention a mouse and keyboard. Or, if you remapped the controls, the tutorial prompts still showed the old control bindings, making for a confusing experience. I definitely want to do the controls justice, so this will take some time.

Phoenotopia DISCORD Channels

Ryan and Firana have been running a Phoenotopia discord since late 2017, which I promoted on this blog once. It's been a couple years and it turns out that the old discord link I promoted expired. It's long overdue, but their channel could use another shoutout. Here's their channel : https://discord.gg/cnjrYST

Also, Khalid recently reached out to me about creating a Phoenotopia discord as well. I see no reason why we can't have 2 or more discords, so he has created that one with my blessing as well. You can find his discord here : https://discord.gg/cfnsCwy

I personally don't use Discords, since I'm very busy and there's too much new tech to keep up with. I hear there's a Tik Tok now? Should I create a Tik Tok for Phoenotopia? Hmmm...

Anyway, if you'd like to chat with other people who are similarly enthused for Phoenotopia, do check them out!

Fan Arts

We have five new fanart submissions this time around from regulars and new alike.

Cody G. returns with this pair of sketches of Gail. One seeks to answer the question, "how is Gail so strong?" Cody's answer is that under her sleeves she's actually really buff! This might be the most ripped rendition of Gail yet. Also, in the right drawing, the letter 'E' kinda melds with her bat, making it look like a keyblade!

What if Gale was a Shrek character? A new artist, Samu Kajin, from tumblr answers that question with a rendition of Gail sporting ogre style antennae. Samu Kajin says she can be called "Gaek" or "Shrale". I like the poncho!

Shafiyahh returns with a pretty portrait of Gail. Unlike their previous digital pieces, this one was made with color pencils! I like how her hair blends pink and purple colors together, and this pattern is also present in the eyes. Reminds me of a certain character. And the eyes are so sparkly despite using color pencils! Major props!

Negativus Core also returns with this relevant image of Gail, masked and running, presumably from Corona. It gave me quite a chuckle! I like the angle and tilt of this run pose because you can see the sole of her foot - that's how you know she's at full sprint! A skillful blur localized to her left foot show's just the right amount of motion. Gotta love the robot's expression too!

A rare 3D art has emerged. Dany Q crafted this adorable figure of Gail that is as cute as a button! I like how well it translates the pixel character over to 3D, capturing the 3 stitches on her shirt and even catching her stray strand of hair. It kinda reminds me of a Wallace and Gromit character, so I can picture it moving and animating in that unique claymation style.

Next Time

I'm ~80% confident we can clear the Switch console checking process and drop the trailer with a release date before the next blog post. But once again, if things go slowly, you'll hear from us in 2 months...

[suga-ssi]

[FIC] Make Me Forget

Title: Make Me Forget

Relationship: YoonMin, VMon

Rating: Mature

Tags: Mob!Au, Illegal dealings, prostitution, under age drug use, those kinds of shit, but not too hardcore lol

Summary: Yoongi had a plan, manage the Front, graduate, leave the mob. It was a simple plan, a perfect plan, until Yoongi meets a boy he can never refuse, Jimin. Who, in Yoongi’s opinion was too beautiful and pure to be part of the world he was in.

Jimin only needed one thing, an escape. Something or someone to help him forget.

Drink? Smoke? Pour up! When your reality is so beautifully fucked up. What do you do to forget?

Ao3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10597305/chapters/23427300

Beta-ed by: @sweetelvish and @firebowwowwow

Chapter: 2/~~

Chapter Summary: 

“But what if… what if there is a way for you to escape. To leave this place and at the same time keep Jihyun safe.”

“Shit! Sounds like a great deal. Sign me up! Also, can you give me a dancing unicorn that does spells so I can get on my broomstick and play Quidditch?” laughing as he ended his little spiel.

“What if I’m serious, Jimin?” Yoongi asked.Jimin cupped Yoongi’s cheek, 

“That’s what I was afraid of.” 

Chapter 2: Escape? (pt1)

Chapter 1 TUMBLR LINK

August 2016

It became an almost nightly routine for Yoongi, stepping out into the alley at 10 pm. At first he tried to lie to himself by thinking that he did this only to escape the noise and heat of the bar. But that excuse has long expired. After a month’s worth of heated make-out sessions with the pink haired boy at the fire escape, he decided to stop fooling himself and just go with it.

It usually started casual, sharing FML stories and ‘fuck that sucks’ moments they had to go through each day, as they took turns at the joint Yoongi lit. But then Jimin would get silent, diving too deep into his own thoughts, and Yoongi would feel like he should do something before Jimin sinks away right in front of him. That would be the time one of them would make a move, a head on a shoulder, light grazes on the arm, slight kisses and heated breaths creating small bumps on each other’s expanse of exposed skin.

Yoongi wondered if Jimin caught on how little Yoongi shared about his life. He was careful not to let too much about him slip. Jimin knew that he worked at the bar, that he always had a stash, and that he was a great kisser, but nothing more. He mostly let Jimin talk. About his past, about his day, but never about what happened the moment the stage lights turned on. Yoongi could easily enter the Den and see Jimin, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want his image of Jimin to change.

Jimin never asked him to help him leave, never mentioned any ideas or thoughts of escaping the god forsaken place that was the Den. The kind of escape he asked from Yoongi were always momentary, to get away from the now, to make him forget for a few minutes.

And so there Yoongi was, at the strike of 10 pm, lighting up another roll, more for the boy he was wasting than for himself.

“Hyung!” he heard the familiar voice call out from above him. “Got a light?”

Yoongi smiled up at the boy, as he made his way towards the rusty ladder. “Got a stick of your own tonight, I see.” He exclaimed, stepping on the landing where Jimin was waiting for him. The younger boy was bundled up in a layer of jackets that made him look like he was wrapped up in a cocoon. His hood was zipped up, making his cheeks look extra puffy.

“Tae stole one for me.” He said, proudly waving the short roll in front of Yoongi. “I think Joonie hyung has a soft spot for him.”

“Tae?” Yoongi asked, lighting his own blunt and puffing out his first cloud of fume.

“Kim Taehyung, new kid, barely 2 months here, but he is the same age as me.” Jimin said, as he tried to take the lighter from Yoongi’s hands.

“Let me.” Yoongi opened the cap of the lighter and spun the flint. Jimin gave him a smirk and looked at him playfully. He licked his lips and placed the blunt between them, moving his face closer to the flame as he looked up at Yoongi. He drew in a breath to light the roll and let out a soft laugh as he exhaled the smoke.

“God, you’ll be the death of me, Park Jimin.” Yoongi exhaled, not realizing he was holding his breath when Jimin moved closer. “So, this Taehyung has adjusted quite quickly?”

“Like I said, Joonie hyung has been soft on him.” Jimin giggled. “Extra portions of food, later lights out, earlier stages so he could perform while there were less people in the Den, that kind of shit. The dude keeps getting away with being playful just by smiling at Joonie hyung.”

“And you? How much do you get away with?” Yoongi asked.

“This is the only thing I get away with.” Jimin answered, looking at the slowly burning stick between his fingers. “But it’s worth it.” He added. “I don’t have a regular highlight schedule, Joonie hyung just tells me before the Den opens when the special customer will be coming. But dancing at 12 means I can come out here at 10, and knowing that I can sit out here with you for a few minutes makes everything bearable.” Jimin smiled shyly before inhaling another drag, not having the courage to look at his hyung after the confession.

“Jimin.” Was all Yoongi could say, touching Jimin’s thigh as he let out a deep sigh. He felt Jimin’s body tense under his touch.

“Will you always be here, hyung?” Jimin asked, still looking away. “I know it might be too much to ask and you-“

“No. It’s not too much.” Yoongi cuts him off. “Jimin, look at me.” He waited for the younger man to look at him before he continued. “I will always be here when you need me.”

“Thanks, hyung. That’s all I need.” Jimin smiled, before looking away from Yoongi once more.

Yoongi placed the joint between his lips, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “I’ll take you away from this place, Jimin. You don’t deserve to be here.”

Jimin let out a slight chuckle, “Don’t make any promises you can’t keep, hyung.”

“How are you enduring this?” Yoongi asks, tapping away the ashes from his stick.

“Honestly, hyung, some people in there has it worse. Someone from the top of the food chain seems to like me, so Joonie hyung has been taking care of me too.” Jimin stretched his arms and legs, moving slightly closer to Yoongi. Jimin slowly placed his head on Yoongi’s shoulders, draping half of his body on the older man beside him. “They have rules and no one has been allowed to touch me. When I’m on stage, I just close my eyes and pretend I’m alone or I think… I think of you. They can’t hurt me with their hungry eyes anymore. I just imagine I’m dancing for you.”

Yoongi place his arm over the younger boy’s shoulders, resting his head on the other. “But when you get off that stage, when the lights aren’t there to protect you…”

“Then I have you. That is more than enough.” Jimin twisted his head to face Yoongi, lips touching the first part of the other man’s skin it would hit.

Yoongi threw his blunt away and used both his arms to wrap around Jimin, as the younger man continued to press gentle kisses on his neck. Jimin freed his hand to card through Yoongi’s mint hair, moving away slightly to speak.

Yoongi saw the confession bubbling through the younger man’s face before he even opened his lips. His eyes weren’t filled with lust, but had a different kind of want, and Yoongi knew that if any of them would speak these thoughts, then there would truly be no going back from it. Yoongi had been feeling it too. How much he cared for the pink haired boy, how much he permeated his thoughts throughout his whole day. How his 10pm escape has been the highlight of his days for weeks.

“Hyung, I think I…” Jimin started shyly.

“Shhh… “ Yoongi shushed him, placing his finger gently against the other’s lips. “Shhh… Jimin.” He saw the confused look on Jimin’s face and it damn well near broke his heart. He cupped the other’s face gently, hoping it would calm him. “Don’t say anything, Minnie, I know,” the pet name catching them both by surprise.

“You know?” Jimin asked, eyes twinkling, reflecting the warm light of the lamp post near their little escape. Yoongi nodded, hands still on Jimin’s face.

“I know.” Jimin smiled and closed his eyes, resting himself once more on Yoongi’s chest.

Yoongi started brushing Jimin’s hair with his fingers, bending down to kiss the hair of the man resting against him. If only all moments could stay perfect like this, Yoongi thought. Jimin in his arms, feeling his heartbeat against his. But as all nights they had together did, Yoongi knew that this short moment of escape too will end.

September 1 2016

“Hey, Hyung?” Jimin starts, after taking a drag so deep that he started speaking in a hoarse voice after exhaling the fume. Yoongi stilled his hand from playing with the pink strands of the younger boy’s hair whose head was on his lap.

“Yeah?”

“Just wondering, why are you here?”

“Hmmm? To keep you warm? Share a joint? Kiss the pain away?”

Jimin giggled as he turned to face his hyung, “All valid. But… No... I mean here, the Den, the Front. Someone as nice as you shouldn’t be here.”

“Neither should you, Precious.” Yoongi answered, bending his head down to kiss Jimin’s forehead.

“I know… I know… But see, Me? There’s no way I can leave. You, you just work here. You can quit anytime right?”

“It’s more complicated than that. And who told you there’s no way you can leave?” Jimin sat up, eyes widened in surprise.

“Come on, hyung. If there was, I would have been out of this place after the second I stepped in. Have you not heard about Bambam?”

Of course he heard about Bambam, quite a commotion his escape caused. The boy was able to seduce a patron, who happened to be a high ranking member of the Ring. Escaping was not unheard of. The escape being successful however is a different story altogether. Bambam was the only one who got close. Joonie almost got shot for the escape had they not caught the patron in time. “The Thai kid, they… they found him.”Jimin continued.

“Well, they found his body… and his patron’s.” He ended in a murmur, his head hanging low.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Jimin. Were you close?” Yoongi asked, moving closer to hug Jimin.

Jimin closed his eyes, resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “No, not really. He was always snobby, thinking he was more special than all of us in here. He kept telling me that if I worked hard enough I’ll get a good high ranking customer like he did and get my ass out of here.” He takes a drag from the neglected roll before lifting it up to Yoongi’s lips. “I understood him though. He kept saying he just needed to get back to his sister, Lisa, before the Ring takes her too. Wanna hear the worst part?”

Yoongi knew the worst part, but he just made a noise in response to Jimin’s rhetoric, urging him to continue.

“Lisa was shipped in yesterday.”

There was no fitting response that Yoongi can think of. He can’t even feign surprise for having known about the whole situation before Jimin spoke of it. “I’d die before I let anyone touch Jihyun. I want my brother as far away from here as possible. I can’t do what Bambam did. But, I still have to save Jihyun somehow.”

“From who?”

“My parents.”

“Jimin…”

“My dad made some deals with bad people. Mom was sick at that time, our restaurant wasn’t doing well, our debt just kept piling up. Then this man came. He told my dad he knew a way for him to earn money quick.” Jimin gently laid down, placing his head once more on Yoongi’s lap. “That’s when he started dealing. But you know, you can’t keep away from that stuff when you have constant access to it. Seriously hyung, I don’t know how you’re clean after staying here for years.”

“I have this.” Yoongi said, placing the blunt between his lips.

“Yeah, but that’s not addictive enough. You are more addictive than that shit, honestly.” Jimin laughed out.

Yoongi bent down to capture Jimin’s lips, giving him a chaste peck as a thank you for the oddly placed compliment.

“See? I can never get enough of that shit.” Jimin exclaimed as Yoongi moved away, making him laugh as well.

“So yeah, dad kept using instead of selling and got hooked on it. Mom never got strong enough to stop him. Jihyun started working. I stopped studying to manage the restaurant, but it never got better. Then, the bad men came back for payment. Dad woke me up and next thing I knew, I was being loaded somewhere, eyes blindfolded, arms behind my back. Then, here I am.”

Yoongi slowly held Jimin’s hand and moved it closer to his lips, kissing it. “I’m sorry.”

“Again, hyung, not your fault.” Jimin reassured him. “Now, I’m just afraid that shit hasn’t changed and Jihyun will be brought to a place like this.”

“But what if… what if there is a way for you to escape. To leave this place and at the same time keep Jihyun safe.”

“Shit! Sounds like a great deal. Sign me up! Also, can you give me a dancing unicorn that does spells so I can get on my broomstick and play Quidditch?” laughing as he ended his little spiel.

“What if I’m serious, Jimin?” Yoongi asked.

Jimin cupped Yoongi’s cheek, “That’s what I was afraid of.” He then placed his forehead against Yoongi’s. “I still say no. If it will put you in danger, then the answer is still no.”

“But Jimin, you don’t understand. I-”

“Jimin! Jimin hyung!”

Yoongi turned to look at where the voice came from, Jimin sitting up upon hearing his name.

“Yeah? I’m out here.” Jimin shouted. Yoongi saw a head pop out from the window Jimin always entered. The boy had a fluff of red hair parted down the middle, pushed up by a white headband. He was wearing eye liner, far as Yoongi could tell, quite possibly the same as Jimin has been sporting the past few nights they’ve hung out.

“Oh! There! Joonie hyung said…” the boy started as he looked their way, eyes widening at Yoongi in shock. Yoongi has never seen the boy before so he wondered why he looked so surprised to see him with Jimin. Had Jimin never mentioned that he hung out with someone out in the fire escape almost every night?

“Yeah, Tae? What is it?” Jimin said, impatient at the boy who hasn’t been able to finish his thought since he looked at Yoongi.

So Jimin noticed too, Yoongi thought. Tae shook his head before continuing, “Oh… uhmmm… Joonie hyung said someone’s here for you.”

“What? I start at 12!” Jimin shouted back.

“Yeah. Just… You need to come.” Tae finished.

“Fine.” Jimin said, as he stood up, bending down to kiss Yoongi’s cheeks before he turned to walk away.

“Tomorrow, hyung.” Jimin shouted from the window after he had entered.

“Sure, I’ll be here.” Yoongi answered back. Jimin then started blowing flying kisses at Yoongi, “Missing you already.” Shooting multiple hearts Yoongi’s way.

Yoongi laughed at the younger boy’s antics. “Yeah, Yeah. Stop it, Jimin.” He watched Jimin give him a last flying kiss and a sweet smile which he returned with his own.

As the window closed, Yoongi looked back at the alley, breathing in the cold autumn air. Fall has arrived and soon it will be Jimin’s birthday.

September 2, 2016

It was 5 am and Yoongi was almost done with his inventory, his staff and crew having left the bar over an hour ago. Bar stools have been stacked, glasses and bottles were back in the shelf, almost all the lights are closed save for a pin light in the bar and the emergency light at the front door. Yoongi had just checked the lock of the door to the Den and pulled the drapes when he heard quiet knocks coming from the closed doors of the Front. The sound was timid at first and Yoongi had to move close to the door to make sure that that was where it was coming from. It wasn’t unusual for bar crawlers to knock on the front doors past closing time, so Yoongi didn’t feel the need to answer the knock. But then the knocks became louder, more aggressive and Yoongi had to shout back, “We’re closed! Whatever you need, you can come back tomorrow afternoon!”

“Hyung?”

“Jimin?”

“Y... Yes, hyung.” Yoongi’s heart pounded at the sound of Jimin’s voice. He sounded hurt, and Yoongi just wanted to hold him in his arms and comfort him as fast as he could. He quickly unbolted the locks and slid off the chain that hung to keep the door shut. Yoongi pushed the doors open to let Jimin step in. He was wearing a grey hoodie and black sweat pants, face void of any make up. His lips quivered and he started to speak, eyes blinking away the tears brimming his eyes.

“I… I… saw your car… and I… took a chance.” Jimin managed to say before Yoongi pulled him into a tight embrace. Yoongi held onto Jimin, one hand on his back, another on his head.

“How’d you get here, Precious?”

“Fire escape.”

Yoongi felt Jimin’s body shaking against his, as the boy buried his face in Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi took Jimin’s hand and pulled him inside the dimly lit bar towards his office. “Come inside. Tell me what happened.”

Jimin slid his fingers between Yoongi’s, sticking close to his side. The warmth from the younger boy’s body made Yoongi yearn for more of the other’s touch. His heart ached in his chest at the thought that someone can hurt such a beautiful and innocent creature.

The office was small, brown and lit with warm light. Jimin sat on a leather couch by the door as he entered, hugging himself into a ball, reminding Yoongi of the first night he sat with the boy out on the fire escape. Yoongi reached out to hold both Jimin’s hands in his, as he sat on the chair he pulled and placed in front of Jimin. Jimin’s hands were cold and Yoongi could feel small goose bumps on the other’s skin as he touched his wrist.

“Jimin? Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Yoongi asked, sitting hunchbacked at the edge of his chair, moving his face closer to Jimin’s.

Jimin just shook his head in response, burying his face further into his knees. Yoongi felt Jimin’s hand shake in his as the other’s body trembled. He didn’t see the tears that fell, but he heard the young boy sniffling, hand holding tighter to his. Yoongi just sat there, patiently waiting for Jimin to calm down and speak.

What was truly just a few minutes felt like hours to Yoongi. With every heave Jimin released in between sobs, Yoongi wanted to clutch at his chest. He was watching the young boy break right in front of him. He remembered his innocent brown eyes that first afternoon in the den, brimming with tears and fear. But they were beautiful eyes. Beautiful eyes that Yoongi knew disappeared when the young boy smiled. They were crescent and seemed sleepy but they livened with twinkle and joy when he laughed. But Yoongi has slowly seen that innocence disappear. Those same eyes that the boy has tried so hard to keep shut when he danced, had still seen all the prying hands and perverted faces that looked at him with want. Those once innocent eyes rimmed with make-up, smudged and smoky to fit the role he played every night.

In the office as they sat, Yoongi realized that whatever happened to Jimin tore more of the last remnants of innocence the boy had left. Slowly the strings were coming undone and Jimin was unraveling. It was inevitable, of course. A young, 17 year old in the Den. He had seen things, heard things, that no boy should have. Felt things, feared things that he shouldn’t have ever had. As he watched Jimin try to catch his breath in an attempt to stop his sobbing, Yoongi slowly counted the reasons why he hasn’t taken the boy in his arms and fled the place. His education, his future, his family, his mother’s sacrifice, his father’s legacy, his uncle. Yoongi tried to remember why those things were supposed to matter. Why should his future matter more than Jimin’s? Jimin’s family, Jimin’s dreams, Jimin’s life. Yoongi had a plan and it was slowly unraveling.

He suddenly felt his chest constricting. He wanted to ease the pain he was feeling by rubbing or pounding on his chest, but as he tried to pull his hand free, he felt small fingers clutching onto his. This boy needs him and he was the only one who can save him. But he can’t breathe. He can’t think. He needs space. He slowly stood up, freeing his hand from the younger’s grip. “Jim… Jimin?” Yoongi whispered, and Jimin finally looked up at him, cheeks flushed pink and damp from the tears.

“You want some coco? I’ll get you some real quick.” In Yoongi’s relief, Jimin gave him a slight nod, giving Yoongi an excuse to step out of the small office.

“Shit.” Yoongi breathed out as he gripped his mint hair. “Shit!” He walked towards the bar to fix the drink he promised. Yoongi knew what his family expected of him. Finish this part of his life. Move on to manage half of the kingdom promised by his uncle. The safe part, the by the book part. Well, sort of by the book part. True, the dirty money was still laundered underneath what his mother was now managing. Hotels, regulated casinos, fashion lines, that all seemed to be operating squeaky clean. Yoongi knew how it was supposed to go. For years he studied how he was supposed to continue those. Unfortunately for that plan though, Yoongi was also slowly coming to terms with what he wanted to do. Save Jimin. And in the process maybe even save himself.

Yoongi stepped back into his office, warm chocolate milk in hand to find Jimin asleep on his couch. He slowly placed the cup on his desk and moved towards the sleeping boy who was lying on his side, knees bent and arms folded together, hands under his head.

“Jimin?” Yoongi said as he gently shook the younger boy to wake up.

“Hyung?” “Do you want to come home with me?”

“Yes.”

Yoongi led Jimin out of the bar through the steel door towards the alley after making sure that all other doors of the Front were locked. He clicked his remote, unlocking his black Ford Fusion parked at the back alley. He then rushed towards the passenger side to open the door, before running back to Jimin who was still standing in front of the steel door.

“Hyung, I have to-”

“I know. I know. I’ll get you back before noon.” Yoongi said as he guided Jimin to his seat. Head count was at noon, and if Jimin wasn’t back by then, alarms would ring. If he could have his way, he’d fly his car back to Seoul to get Jimin out, but he knew that now was not the time. Not yet. And he could only hope that by the time everything is set, that it would not be too late.

The sky was slowly shedding its dark cloak, as Yoongi drove towards his home. He can’t help but glance at Jimin on his right, as the boy watched the city go in a blur as they passed. Yoongi realized that the other was seeing the city for the first time, so he decided to shift gear and slow down, letting Jimin soak in as much of the city as he could.

“Not sleepy?” Yoongi quirked, right hand resting on Jimin’s thigh.

“No, I need to remember these roads.”Jimin said, as he looked at Yoongi with a smile. “I need to remember where to go.”

They stayed silent for a few minutes, both watching as the city woke up around them.

“Hyung?” Jimin whispered.

“Hmmm?”

“They bid me last night.” Jimin said, hugging himself as he looked out the window.

“They what?!” Yoongi asked loudly, almost stopping the car in his shock.