#i miss when i was chronically online and had internet friends i talked to 24/7. like yea it was probably unhealthy how we used each other

[bringmetothe-pilot]

i need one of those friends that i can just hit up whenever and rant about whatever

[serendipitous-magic]

Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? 

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books? 

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you? 

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you? 

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? 

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for? 

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food? 

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous? 

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign? 

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? 

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them? 

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? 

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent? 

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 

 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now? 

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? 

When I’m alone and unobserved. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji? 

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word. 

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw? 

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched? 

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

[themishapofreality]

Do I have BPD? I know I shouldn’t self diagnosis but go on and read if you dare and tell me your piece. (PS: Hopefully it isn’t too much info for the internet but I felt I had to be as honest as possible in order for the best picture to be displayed.)

Borderline Personality Disorder – DSM 5 Criteria – Do I have it?

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)

This one I might not fit into but at the same time that might just be because I’m looking at it from my own bias.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

I’m not sure about a pattern but there is definitely at least 1 unstable relationship in my history. A guy I fell “in love” with when I was dealing with a state of depression. I relied on him so heavily even though he was dating my best friend and eventually we stopped talking because he said, “it’s complicated” and I took that offensively. That was 4 years ago but I’ve missed him ever since and just the other day I tried getting back into contact with him. I think he might know I’m unwell again though because he didn’t reply a second time. And, I mean, maybe some of the guys I’ve spoken to online would fall under this one too but I think they fit more into criteria 4. 

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

I’m not sure it is so much persistently unstable but I have my ups and downs. From thinking I’m gorgeous to not recognizing my own face.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)

I don’t know how to control myself around money. I got student loans in at the beginning of September and was buying things left and right. Including 6 bras, 2 of which I bought to impress a guy I met online. I also nearly bought some other things a guy online told me to buy but the next day I snapped back into reality and cancelled the order in a panic. So, sex, no, but sexting…yeah I go through phases of that. Though usually it’ll last a night but the most recent time it lasted 2 days. And I definitely binge eat, which is horrible and sad because this summer I was working towards eating healthily and even lost 30lbs but I think I may have fucked that up now because of binge eating. And this past weekend I got blackout drunk – there are parts of that night that I don’t remember. There’s a literal chance I passed out on the patio of the club for 2 hours but I’m not positive of that because the people I was with had left at that point, and on the way home I was way too out of it to look at my phone to check the time. And I threw up because of consuming so much alcohol which I have never done before.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

I haven’t self harmed since early 2013 and that only went on for less than a year but you can bet your bottom dollar I still think about doing it. I remember how calming it felt. But I haven’t done it since then. And there’s no suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats – I think – but I have recurring suicidal thoughts. But some people just live with that, right? Then again, I’m sure it isn’t healthy to be thinking up new ways you could die or research ways to commit suicide but the important thing is I’m not suicidal…right? My god, I better never voice these thoughts to actual physical humans who know me or I’d probably be locked up for forever. Wait, is thinking about ways to die technically suicidal behaviour even though I don’t act on them? I don’t even know…

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Depression? Check. Anxiety? Check. Most recently I had bad anxiety that made me not want to get out of bed, and I even skipped class for twice because of it. But before the anxiety was this almost hypomanic like period of a few weeks. I think it was induced by stress though because I was getting less sleep than normal (anywhere from 4-7 hours a night) but still felt like I was able to function well enough. This was also during the time in which I was recklessly spending money.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

I’m not sure what to say to this one other than “basically, yes”.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

I feel like the only time I can think of that would fit into this was in grade 12 when I lashed out at a teacher who was trying to help me. And by lash out I mean scream and maybe kick – I can’t really remember it fully.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I mean, like I said earlier, I’ve had times where I don’t feel my face is my face. Where it just looks like it belongs to someone other than me. I know my head is on my body and in that head is my brain thinking these things and therefore that face is technically mine but for whatever reason it just doesn’t feel right.

(PS: I’m 24, and the earliest thing I mention here (with the teacher) was when I was 17). 

[shadowinacorner]

Bored, so why not!

Lets see if I can answer these. 1: Name Mandy

2: Age 26

3: 3 Fears Spiders Burning alive Bungee jumping

4: 3 things I love Food Accomplishing something productive Sleep

5: 4 turns on Assertiveness Kindness Sense of humor Forwardness

6: 4 turns off Rudeness Narcissism Bad habits Excessive negativity

7: My best friend My buddy Allison

8: Sexual orientation Not big on labels. Bi I guess is a good umbrella term.

9: My best first date Winter formal in ‘05

10: How tall am I I’d say 5'10. I think I technically have been deemed to be 5'7 though.

11: What do I miss Being taken care of as a kid.

12: What time was I born 9am ish I think?

13: Favourite color Purple or black

14: Do I have a crush He’s pretty cute

15: Favourite quote The bird on your shoulder quote from tuesdays with maurie

16: Favourite place My living room (don’t you judge me)

17: Favourite food Pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm Never, who would do such a thing?

19: What am I listening to right now Assasination Classroom

20: First thing I notice in new person Jewelry

21: Shoe size 10.5/11 womens or 9 mens

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Brown. I change it alot and right now it’s got some pink.

24: Favourite style of clothing Modern kinda urbany or punky I guess?

25: Ever done a prank call? Nah. Not my style.

27: Meaning behind my URL Nothing deep

28: Favourite movie Harry Potter I guess

29: Favourite song To the moon and back by Savage Garden

30: Favourite band I couldn’t tell you honestly. I like too many.

31: How I feel right now Tired and unaccomplished

32: Someone I love Mr. Leo Bunny

33: My current relationship status Married

34: My relationship with my parents Strained and unconventional

35: Favourite holiday Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have I have 2 piercings in each ear and 1 cartilage. Also a small tattoo on my upper back.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I always wanted a eyebrow piercing and the really dainty bullrings are cool. I’d also love to have full sleeves of tattoos but I’ll probably never get another of either.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My hubby got obsessed with it.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nah, he’s a cool dude and finally forgave me for being a terrible child when I was with him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Definitely always get good morning ones since we get up at different times.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Definitely not. Keagan is probably onr of the few I haven’t actually.

42: When did I last hold hands? Last time Marku and I went to the store I’m sure.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? No makeup: 5 minutes from bed to car. With basic full makeup a solid half hour. With going out makeup and clothes like 2 hours.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Actually.

45: Where am I right now? Laying in Marku’s bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Definitely Marku. He usually camps in the bathtub and sets me up on the floor by the toilet.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Too loud. Always.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Nopppeeeeee

49: Am I excited for anything? Someday we’re going to travel!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Definitely Marku.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyyyy dayyyyy. Customer service at it’s finest.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I hugged Keagan, Angie, AND Mark. So many hugs!

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? He might have some ‘splanin to do

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Hmm, yeah probably a couple family members.

55: What is something I disliked about today? I woke up late and didn’t accomplish much

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I have no idea… maybe bernie?

57: What do I think about most? What I’m doing wrong

58: What’s my strangest talent? Noticing small details (but only when I’m trying. Otherwise I’m oblivious to my surroundings)

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Chalkboards. They freak me out and I can’t touch them.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind!!!

61: What was the last lie I told? “You don’t have to do that, I can pay for it”

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither. But phone if it’s between the too.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I half believe in ghosts, aliens seem probable but not little green guys.

64: Do I believe in magic? I wishhhhhhh

65: Do I believe in luck? Kinda actually.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Kinda nice actually! Wet but mild.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kane chronicals

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Mildly

69: Do I have any nicknames? Mandoo

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I accidentally cut a large chunk out of my ankle when i was a teenager… otherwise no broken bones or anything.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I have a spending problem.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My pj pants

74: Favourite animal? Kitties!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Playing on my phone and watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I think Satan /is/ his last name lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Uh… something pop-y I’m sure.

78: How can you win my heart? Food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? That I was super nice!

80: What is my favorite word? Totes

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr That I posted? None. I have like no followers that aren’t porn bots.

82: If the whole world was listening to me right now, what would I say? Let’s just all get along

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Depends on who is asking it.

86: What is my current desktop picture? The inside of a midevilish zeldaish tent with a woman lying in the bed.

87: Had sex? Yeap

88: Bought condoms? Yeah. Still awkward no matter how old you get for some reason.

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yeah

91: Kissed a boy? A few

92: Kissed a girl? A few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Not dramatically

94: Had job? For years

95: Left the house without my wallet? Just yesterday

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nah, not my jam.

97: Had sex in public? Nah

98: Played on a sports team? Plenty of them

99: Smoked weed? Nope, not on my list

100: Did drugs? Never have, never will

101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope, terrible habbit

102: Drank alcohol? On occasion

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Not anymore

104: Been overweight? I am morbidly obese technically atm

105: Been underweight? Once

106: Been to a wedding? A few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Jesus, is that suppose to be a long time?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Every weekend

109: Been outside my home country? Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once

111: Been to a professional sports game? Big leagues, no. Minor, yea.

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yea

114: Been to prom? Yeap, twice

115: Been in airplane? Twice

116: Fly by helicopter? Once

117: What concerts have I been to? Hinder, buckcherry, paproach, death cab for cutie

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yea

119: Learned another language? Started japanese, never went very far

120: Wore make up? Pretty normally

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? At 18 I think

122: Had oral sex? Yea

123: Dyed my hair? Alot

124: Voted in a presidential election? Every year

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sat in one, refused the ride

126: Had a surgery? Just wisdom teeth

127: Met someone famous? Voice actors, and there was a famous guy staying at our wedding hotel that I rode the elevator with. I always forget his name.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly

129: Peed outside? Ya, camping

130: Been fishing? Mmhm

131: Helped with charity? I actually don’t think so. I’ve donated before.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Never got myself to be in the position to be rejected

133: Broken a mirror? Yeahhh

134: What do I want for your birthday? Yummy food

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 1-3 & no clue

136: Was I named after anyone? A barry manilow song

137: Do I like my handwriting? No i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Barbies

139: Favourite Tv Show? I don’t have any active shows atm

140: Where do I want to live when older? Back in my family home

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m not musically inclined in any way

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Have an L on my finger from slaming and locking my finger in the car door as a kid. I was stuck there for a while.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Sausage

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? A little

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Plentybof times

148: What I’m really bad at Doing anything consistently

149: What my greatest achievments are Graduating college

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me There would be a list.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy out my family home, remodel, set up my inlaws and grandma for life, get a working car, change jobs, and if I had enough I’d set up my parents and college funds too.

152: What do I like about myself My hair

153: My closest Tumblr friend I have some of my best friends irl on here

154: Something I fantasise about Being a normal person

This is way too long. I’m not tagging anyone and bringing this onto them. Yeesh.