#i need food now because i'm so smad.

[kyousei-a]

     @frcstie​ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ: “You’re lying. You’re fucking lying!” Sanemi screams. He sounds like a child, crying over some toy he wasn’t allowed to get. But, it’s not that. He’s staring at his little brother, or what is said to be him. “My fucking brother died! With the rest of ‘em.” The rest of his family, all dead because of his quirk. “You sayin’ you’re him? I’ll fucking kill you.” // unprompted

     ❝I-It’s me, ‘Nemi! I promise!❞ Genya cries out, stammered voice warbled slightly by the set of small speakers in his helmet.

     This was supposed to be a routine patrol in Snipe’s district, the end of Genya’s first year in Shiketsu Academy marked with his Provisional License and a short work study with a hero who could help him. — But such things never seem to go to plan around Genya.

     A commotion had gained his attention two streets over and it had been his duty to investigate as a Hero-in-Training. His arrival had sent him face to face with someone he hadn’t seen in close to ten years: his brother. Sanemi was covered in more scars than Genya could count now, the massive X spanning across his open chest a warning to anyone who dared to come closer, but he was still undoubtedly his Nemi.

     It’s understandable that Genya wouldn’t be recognized, not like this. He is covered head to toe in UV-blocking fabric, even his voice different from the decade they spent apart. Was this it? Was he going to lose Sanemi all over again? His hands shake in their gloves as he holds them out to show he meant to harm and had no weapons. Katana and twin shotguns sit at his lower back, guns loaded. He was somewhat aware of how Sanemi’s quirk worked, but that was so long ago. Was he quick enough to... Was he strong-willed enough to...?

     Shuddered exhale leaves him. His heart pounds in his chest so loudly it feels like the only thing he can hear. ❝I... I-I know, ‘Nemi...❞ What can he do? What, if anything, will Sanemi listen to now? ❝Your name is Shinazugawa Sanemi, and your birthday is November 29th. You have six siblings... Hiroshi, Sumi, Teiko, Koto, Shuya and... a-and me.❞

    Slowly his hands move to grip the sides of his helmet, each action he made deliberate and conscious to not further anger Sanemi. This was a risk, more than a risk. This was a death sentence for someone who can’t use their quirk in the daylight, the sun directly above him in the midst of afternoon. Helm is pulled off and dropped onto the asphalt with a clatter. He doesn’t even check to see if the visor cracked, though it sounds like it did.

     There. His face. This should convince him, right? He feels exposed in the sun, his hands still up in a way that left him defenseless if Sanemi decided to use that blade to his advantage. This had to work. He didn’t have any other options.

     ❝You... You have me! You have me still, ‘Nemi. Please listen. I’m not lying, I swear it!❞

[iamumbra195]

School Bus Graveyard incorrect quotes because I'm bored

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Taylor: Look how creepy it is looking down this hallway.

Ashlyn: I'm gonna get vertigo.

Aiden: I'm a Virgo!

Tyler, deadpan: No, you're a virgin.

...

Aiden: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Tyler: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Aiden: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ASHLYN WITH ME

Logan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Taylor: Why is Tyler so upset?

Logan: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Taylor: And...?

Logan: He got Aiden.

...

Ashlyn: What did you do with the phantom's body?

Aiden: What didn’t I do with the body?

Everyone:

Aiden: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the phantom respectfully.

...

Aiden: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Logan: Aiden, no.

Ben, with text to speech: Mistlefoe.

Logan: Please stop encouraging him.

...

Taylor: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Tyler: You’re a hazard to society

Aiden: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

...

Emma, trying to be nice to Ashlyn's new friends: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Mike, excited for his daughter: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

...

Logan: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Ben: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Aiden: Smad.

...

Ashlyn: Why are you on the floor?

Aiden: I'm depressed.

Aiden: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ben, please.

...

Taylor: Aiden and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Ashlyn, sighing: What did he do?

Taylor: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Aiden: Who wants a steering wheel?

...

Aiden: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Logan: How am I supposed to know?

Tyler: You say that as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Logan: ...You wouldn't be trapped.

...

Ashlyn: Tyler, keep an eye on Aiden today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Tyler: Sure, I’d love to see him get punched.

Ashlyn: Try again.

Tyler, sighing: I will stop Aiden from getting punched.

...

Aiden, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Tyler: You did WHAT–

Ben: William Snakespeare

...

Ashlyn: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Taylor: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Ashlyn: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Aiden: edible

...

Taylor, whispering to Aiden, who’s on the phone with Ashlyn: Ask her something!

Aiden: How are you feeling?

Ashlyn: Fine.

Taylor: Something personal!

Aiden: At what age did you start hearing voices?

...

Aiden: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Logan: If?

Tyler: Great, the only party I’d actually go to and he might not even die.

...

Logan: We need a distraction.

Ashlyn: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Aiden, whispering: My time has come

...

Tyler: Where are you going?

Taylor: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Tyler: I'll come with

...

Mike, buying a whole bag of knives, guns and other weapons like he's going to war on a random Tuesday: I can explain

Jacob (shop owner): Can you?

Mike: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

...

Taylor: Heads up, if you try to make a candle with food colouring, it will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food colouring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food colouring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter.

Tyler, sighing: What did you do?

Taylor, wailing: A MISTAKE

...

Mr. Thomas: What are your goals?

Ashlyn: To pet all the dogs.

Mr. Thomas: No, I meant your goals for this trip.

Ashlyn: To pet all the dogs in Savannah.

...

Logan: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Ashlyn: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak?

...

Taylor: Aiden isn’t answering their phone

Ashlyn: I’ll call

Taylor: Ben and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Aiden: Hello?

...

Aiden: I was arrested for being too cool.

Tyler: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

...

Aiden: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much

Taylor: You’ve been to jail?

Aiden: Once. In Monopoly.

...

Mike: You love me, right?

Emma: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

...

Aiden: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Ashlyn: Okay

Aiden: And make out during the scary parts.

Ashlyn: The-

Ashlyn: The scary parts?

Ashlyn: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

...

Ashlyn: How petty can you get?

Tyler: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Taylor: I KNEW IT-

...

Aiden: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Logan: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

...

Mike: So what’s for dinner?

Emma, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's all for today!

[god-save-the-keen]

Girl power: Paris + Lane + Sookie!

1. "I am not your mother/father or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker."

2. "I already wrote his/her name in my revenge notebook."

3. "It is raining?" "No, it's national baptism day. Tie your tubes, idiot."

4. "I must be crazy for thinking a banana-eating contest was about eating a banana!"

5. "Well, if it isn't *Place* favorite whore hound."

6. "You look like little birds help you get dress in the morning."

7. "Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?"

8. "What if I fall for him but he doesn't like me?"

9. "That really how you look when you first get up?" "Yes." "Nothing in my life is fair."

10. "I mean, right now my ass is probably as good as it's ever going to get."

11. "Sleep when you're dead."

12. "Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated."

13. "Maybe I just can't be around boys because I have a man."

14. "Why is every single person in this place having a better time than we are?"

15. "I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it."

16. "But what if there is no one else?"

17. "I can't pick a side. Either way I look at it, I'm right."

18. "That pathetic boat you are in, I'm the first oarsman."

19. "I don't need to display my patheticness to the world."

20. "What are you doing?" "I'm giving you a hug." "Why?"

21. "I know, I'm sure once she gets to know me she'll..." "No, she/he'll hate you forever. It's just nothing personal."

22. "Was she/he thrilled" "The party's on Friday."

23. "There's something deeply satisfying to watch people exercise while you eat junk food."

24. "He likes me. He's perfect. I'll never see him again."

25. "Well, I didn't talk to him/her. He/she left a message that I listened eight times."

26. "No, don't apologise. I love you."

27. "I've never made a guy/girl jealous. I feel so powerful."

28. "I'm so jealous. You have a life."

29. "Really? After all this you still want to go out on a date with me?"

30. "Did the doctor said you have a parasite?" "In a matter of speaking... I'm pregnant."

31. "And you don't think that's crazy?" "Oh I do think that's crazy."

32. "Sounds a little like code for 'I'm not wearing any underwear'."

33. "This is Name." "Do you eat cheese?"

34. "Good morning." "It sucks from where I'm sitting."

35. "This tastes good" *Drunkenly pointing to a margarita* "You cough me at a good time."

36. "Am I laughing or crying?"

37. "Okay, I have a problem." "It's 5:30 in the morning. How can you already have a problem?"

38. "I want to chime in and be supportive but I don't know what are you talking about."

39. "That makes me so mad! And sad. I'm smad!"

40. "That's another rule. We all have to look at the stars more often."

42. "This isn't funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal."

43. "I'm sorry that you have to be in love with a crazy person."

44. "I'm so hot I may hit on myself tonight."

45. "Would you like to go dinner sometime?"

Share it, use them or leave your request! 💕

[assless-chapstick]

Since you said you wanted Distraction Asks - I for one would love to hear or see more about the Organic Grocery Store!AU. I'm hungry for any tidbit of information you're willing to provide on that, don't matter to me none if it's about John's and trans!Javier's first proper date or about John catching Sean masturbating in an abandoned food aisle late at night (this one's based on a real life event of mine, don't ask) or about Tough Boss Dutch shoving organic fruit up someone's arse.. anythingggg

I was 100% with you feller... until.... real life events??? wHAT?? i feel like we need context, feller....

also, DO NOT SHOVE ORGANIC FRUIT UP ANYONE’S ASS PLEASE the fair trade, ethically sourced, sustainable, natural rubber dildos are in aisle 16.....(also i know you want Tough but Fair Dutch content and............................ maybe i’ll indulge you this one (1) time)

Dutch started the grocers maybe 15 years ago because he was really frustrated with the way local farmers weren’t being treated “the way they were in the good old days” and how “We’ve gotten too damn civilized, we gotta go back to the old days, when we cared about LOCAL and FAIR” and so it started as like, a little grocery store that stocked local produce

15 years later and its like, a pillar of the local community, they’ve got two locations in Blackwater and whatever they cant get locally they stock fair-trade, organic, etc. Dutch is dabbling in setting up some kind of like, aquaponics/sustainable greenhouse situation ... 

Hosea is the HR manager and Dutch’s long-time partner, and they try to employ people who are disadvantaged and in at-risk situations... After John ran away from home, Dutch gave him a job so he could afford rent, and made sure to schedule around his school so he could finish highschool... And now John’s worked there like, 6 years and is the manager of the produce section and is actually kinda interested in horticulture and like, vegetable shit... his favourite vegetable is beets....

And like, its kinda funny cuz John’s not really into Dutch’s philosophy but he kiinda just.... falls into being vegan? Like he gets a good discount and gets to take a lot of the unsellable food home (he’s not a bad cook, either) so he just... sorta accidentally became vegan and now he’s just used to it. 

So his first real date-date with Javi is to some restaurant... and John is really awkward, they sit down and John is staring at his menu and then suddenly he’s like “did you know they used to call avocados Alligator Pears?” and it’s so weird and funny Javier just laughs and it’s... he’s so cute John dies a little...

And afterwards they go for sorbet and then a walk through some park and John’s hand brushes Javier’s and Javier just... holds it.... and they walk until it gets dark and then John is like “oh let me show you something” and they go to this little community garden and it’s dark and john is showing him the cabbage and cauliflower and stuff and then they... kiss in the garden, John’s hands all come up to cup Javi’s face and it’s sweet n gentle n then.... its like midnight and the sprinklers turn on and they get soaked!!

and they run laughing back to John’s place, John offers to lend him some clothes and John strips off his shirt and then Javi takes off his and he’s got his binder on and John is like “oh jesus sorry you can change in my room if you want, sorry, i didnt realize, like if you want to take it off, or you can leave it on, i dont know, i dont mind either way, haha look at the time maybe i should be getting ghome” but john we’re already at your place .........

and like, maybe Javier is a little upset cuz he didn’t know how to tell John, he’s never like, dated as a boy before, doesn’t know how to navigate this shit but didnt want John seeing his binder and assuming........ and John acting all weird makes him feel like he isn’t into it, especially when john is like “you can take my bed, i’ll sleep on the couch...” Javi just takes an uber home instead....

and he’s pretty smad, he doesn’t text John for two days, then he doesn’t respond  to John’s texts when John texts him, and then finally, finally he texts john back at like 4am like “wanna get coffee on thursday” and as he’s brushing his teeth he gets a text back and its like, WHY ARENT YOU ASLEEP??

and then they have coffee and Javier is all “listen I understand if you dont wanna keep seeing one another, I lied to you and you don’t have to act like you still wanna see me” and John is like “dude what the hell??" cuz there was no lies, John Gets It and he’s still Very Much Into Javier and he’s like, “i’ve never dated a dude so you’re gonna have to coach me” and it’s cute and dumb and honest and makes Javi feel safe........ 

and they probably don’t have sex for like, a pretty long time after they start dating... Javier doesn’t want John to see him naked until he’s at least had top surgery, and John doesn’t want to just accept blowjobs and shit when he knows Javier won’t let him reciprocate... so they do a lot of making out and over-the-clothes stuff and have a lot of phone sex... like a lot of phone sex... Where Javi talks about all the shit he’d do to John, how he’d bend him over and lick him open and slide into him slick and easy and John turns into a begging mess for it even over the phone... gets off on calling Javier Daddy and like, it’s sexy because John is respecting his gender... when they make out John will straddle Javi’s lap and move like he’s riding dick and let Javier push his hands up his shirt to play with John’s nipples.......

i managed to fit it all, mister... Dutch, the First Date, and some Sexy Shit.... thanks for the good ask, mister............