#i need to get a job first. like im so serious Zbfjfjdjdjjd
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#personal#once again yearning but not willing to do anything about it :)))))))))#i was FINE until i had to talk about it last night. i didnt Expect to talk about it. oh god oh god#but then HHHHHHH i hate that i talk about it so much. and i KNOE the answer is to just tell him i like him#or to ask him out but !!!!@@#im not ready !!!#i need to get a job first. like im so serious Zbfjfjdjdjjd#bc if i tell him or ask him... REGARDLESS of his answer. o im gonna be distracted#and i will not have my future ruined by a guy. nooo fuckin WAY.#and like !!@@ hes working so much anyway. like we're talkin unpaid overtime#but hes hung out with me (and other ppl) twice regardless.... but still HDJDJDJFJ#ugh idk#im so tired of thinking about this#im worried i'll ruin my chances the more i dont act. but its like.... GOD IDK. i like him so much its like. debilitating ????????#is that the right word idk#i just.... i think im not ready#and if he moves on then ok that sucks but then at least i'll have an answer....????#god idek#and like one of my friends got asked out by 2 different guys n im like HFJFJJFJFJDJDJDJDJ#GOD. this man is never gonna ask me out. like i think hes Shy. im so. IDK. im also older. like. i think im gonna have to make th3 move#but i wanna be SURE about it. bc like relationships are scary#and i dont wanna start something im not ready for#im kinda hoping that things will happen 'naturally' like they have all along hhhhhhhh
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