#i need to mentally prepare before i read Nona

[mxd-mortells]

Taking a break from your (ir)regularly scheduled locked tomb content to bring you an Anabelle Cane!

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

hey besties!! here is part 8! Part 8 see's Amelia in a change of colours, her friendship with Jorgi explored more, an awkward Chelsea player and a cheeky Villa boy. Please enjoy & send me your thoughts! Love always, Steph xx

Part 8. | parte otto

word count;  1569 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. next update; Wednesday 11/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)! tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven link to fic masterlist here

Landing in the rarely-sunny but always wonderful London town, Amelia was swiftly picked up from the airport by a man in a blacked out Mercedes van and driven away to her new club-appointed accommodation in the royal borough of Kensington and Chelsea. The 24 year old couldn’t help but feel a sense of home resonating through her body. Yes, Italy was also her home for the last 3 years, but there was something in the air in London that really made her believe that this is where she was meant to be.

Whilst happy that her quintessentially-British townhouse was a mere stones throw from Stamford Bridge and her family home just on the other side of the park in Holland Park she was still a 30+ minute commute, without traffic & one way, from Cobham. Beggars can’t be choosers, at least this way she was close to the hustle and bustle of London City, as well as her family and old friends.

A few days had passed since her talk with Fede, her swift departure from bella Italia saw only a small gathering occur at her apartment with some of the juventus boys on the eve before her flight. Constant check-ins from La Cosa Nostra whatsapp group chat, of course the word had spread to the rest of the Italian national team before she had even returned home from Fede’s place, meant that she was never left alone to her thoughts for too long.

Keeping the promise he had made when she phoned to tell him the news, Jorgi was knocking on her front door at 7:30am the following Monday morning, ready to drive the both of them to Cobham for Amelia’s first full day of work. He was the only person who knew she was taking this offer, other than the professional staff at Chelsea FC who had to organise her contract, so it was very much a nerve-wracking drive to the suburban training ground.

“Sapevo che stavi bene con il blu Azzurri, ma il blu Chelsea è un'altra benedizione che mi è stata conferita” (i knew you looked good in Azzurri blue, but Chelsea blue is another blessing bestowed upon me) Jorgi exclaimed as she opened the door to his car and slid in, having stopped right in front of her house in a no-park zone.

“Morning Jorgi, Thanks so much for picking me up - i’ll sort out a car this weekend i suppose”

“It's not a problem, I'm only a couple of streets away anyway so it's not out of my way.”

The pair caught up on the past couple of weeks without each other, speaking on the Fede situation and Amelia’s feelings. The best thing about Jorgi was how he was able to see both sides of the story. He valued Amelia's opinion and feelings as much as his long-time friend, Fede. He knew how hard it was for both parties to come to an amicable separation & he was making a mental note to call his italian pal to thank him for letting the girl go.

Amelia’s first day at Cobham was heavily administrative, spending a lot of time sorting out paperwork, meeting the team of staff she would be joining, getting her uniform, sorting out her office. After a quick bite to eat with the head analyst, Paolo (she just couldn’t seem to escape the Italians altogether), she collected her leather bound notebook and followed her colleague to the first team wing of Cobham. Whilst she was strictly working with the first team, she had expressed interest early on & stipulated it in her formal acceptance, that she wanted the opportunity to work with the academy players and the freedom to dip into the talent pool of Chelsea youth, to assist in perfecting her tactical plays.

She couldn’t deny that the blue of her uniform was the perfect shade to bring out the blue in her more-often-than-not grey eyes, she felt comfortable in it, she felt part of the team. Pushing open the door ahead of them, Paolo stood to the side like a true gentleman and gestured to Amelia through the door first.

______________________________________________________________

Walking in, I noticed that the scene in front of me was similar to the first time I met with some of these players. With their backs to me, facing the front, listening to every word that Tuchel was saying to them. I snuck in, stood to the side and waited for my introduction which came very shortly after.

“I want you all to meet the new tactical analyst that the club has appointed following a very successful european campaign this past summer, Amelia White” Thomas directed towards me, and just like that, a slight bit of deja-vu settled in as i watched 30+ sets of eyes turn to look at me. Some were happy to see me, some were polite and offered a small smile, and just one set looked a little shocked and very guilty.

“I trust you all will treat her with the respect that you show me, Paolo and all other members of this professional staff. We had to fight tooth and nail for this girl to join us and I can’t express how lucky we all are to be learning from her.” Tuchel dismissed his team, Jorgi pushing through the chairs to get to me.

“Amelia! What a surprise! Why didn’t you tell me about this!” Jorgi rushed over to me and wrapped me in a hug that I didn't return. Less than impressed with the boy's antics and sarcasm.

“Oh be quiet, you drove us both here today.” I spoke with a smile and rolled my eyes.

“Always the trouble maker Jorgi!” Mason Mount spoke from behind him.

“Amelia, nice to see you again! Can’t believe you didn’t tell us in the group chat!” Mason continued as he greeted me hello.

“Haha yeah, it all happened very quickly & to be honest, my decision wasn’t final until a couple of days ago. I had a few opportunities and I had to weigh up my options, Chelsea were willing to go a bit above the other clubs so it became obvious. Besides, someone once told me I would look good in the Chelsea blue” That someone also being the person who avoided my messages, and who is currently avoiding my eyes.

Later that evening.

“As if I deserved to know you picked the blues on sky sport?” Jack questioned the girl over facetime that evening, keeping their friendship tradition alive and cooking together.

“It all happened so quickly Jack, I was in talks with a few clubs and there was a bit of a tussle and negotiation stage and then I just had to pick one. Chelsea offered me the opportunity to foster the youth team talent and no one else was willing to cross-contaminate their professional staff” Amelia hurried down the phone, afraid that she hurt the brummie lad’s feelings.

“Calm down Mils, it's fine! I’m only playin wiv’ya. I’m happy for you - and me too, now I can come visit ya and have a place to stay in the city” He joked back to her. Jack had a certain way of calming the girl down, he reminded her a lot of Fede. He could read her before she came to terms with her own thoughts and feelings.

“Are you trying to tell me that you, with all of your friends and all of your money, need to rely on little old me for a place to stay in the city?” The joking tone went back to normal with the two flirtatious friends.

“No, I'm just saying that I'm happy you’re in the city. Ya know, it’s only a 2 hour drive. I could easily come down on a Friday after training and be back before a Sunday game…”

“2 hours is far too long to be in the car just to spend the day with me”

“That's where you’re wrong, it would be two nights and one whole day. Besides, 2 hours in the car is better than having to fly to get to you. I was prepared to do the latter anyway before your big move back to London” Oh did her heart swoon inside her chest, a quick blush spread across her cheeks and a little chuckle left her lips - unable to find the right words to say back to him.

Amelia knew the dangers of the situationship, this was exactly how it happened with Fede. She couldn’t help that she was naturally playful and flirtatious, she often didn't know she was doing it. Normal conversations to her often appeared like a hardcore flirt-fest to anyone who happened to be around the girl. She didn’t want to cross that line with Jack, she knew better than to do that, especially with how she hurt Fede in the end. She didn’t know where she was going to be in a few years, nor where he was going to be.

What she also recognised in the older lad that Fede also possessed, and she would be surprised if he didnt considering he is a professional football player, is that he was determined. Too determined that sometimes it was more about the chase and the challenge, rather than the aftermath or the reward. She knew Jack wouldn’t give up on her and would always be there for her. Was it bad that she enjoyed it?

Part 9. | nona parte

[readerficsbyhyaku]

Blank Slate (Kazumichi Irie x Reader - Soulmate AU) Part 1

summary

You do not remember anything about who you are and what you did, and your memories start the moment you are taken in by Sybil’s forces, as an exception. Your Crime Coefficient cannot be measured, yet your hue can. Locked up like an Enforcer, you work as a consultant for the Criminal Investigations Department inside of the Public Security Bureau.

In this society where a complex neuro-psychological system rules the people, there exists a mystery that it cannot solve - soul marks. You were to meet the new team of Investigators and Enforcers when fate falls upon you. How will you react to something the system never accounted for in the first place ?

author’s note

I couldn’t find any fics with my baby Irie so… Here’s my try at writing one. It will be bad, since i don’t know how to write anymore, but here is my attempt at *plot*. Yeah, that and two stupid cliché ideas fused together because why not ? Hope you enjoy !

There WILL BE SPOILERS for Psycho Pass s3 so be warned !

You woke up to a voice in your room. It was your AI assistant, like everybody had nowadays.

« It’s 7 o’clock and we are Monday, your hue is Coral Pink and the weather will be sunny today ! »

Not that it mattered very much to you, since you couldn’t really go out.

« You have an appointment at 8 o’clock today with Division 1, in the Public Security Bureau’s offices. Don’t be late ! » the voice chirped again.

You sat up and rubbed your eyes to get most of the fatigue out. You weren’t used to getting up this early. At least, not anymore. It’s been a while since you’ve been sollicited by the Bureau, even though you were living inside the NONA tower. Jumping out of bed, you remove your clothes and proceed to take a shower to further clear your mind.

« Your energetic intake yesterday was 2000 kilocalories. I recommend a breakfast adding up to 280 kilocalories ! »

« Make it 300 » you mumbled, rubbing your scalp with shampoo. « And i want eggs, bacon, salad, french toast flavours in it. And coffee »

If your assistant could’ve judged you, they would have. You knew you needed to eat something solid before going to meet with the inspectors and whatnot. Some cases were nastier than others, and even though you doubted to be consulted that early on, it never hurt to be prepared. You had encountered a few unpleasant surprises before.

You ate your machine-made breakfast while still drying your hair and body, then went up to the mirror to dress up. There, you saw the bandaid covering your soul mark was peeling off. With a sigh, you rip it off neatly and fetch a new one, your eyes barely lingering on the name there. You didn’t really… care for it. As far as you remember you always had it, on the left side of your torso, on your ribs. Soul marks were not something Sybil could explain, yet it had to deal with them, because it couldn’t get rid of them.

Numerous studies had shown that Psycho-Passes could affect each other via soul marks, and deteriorate. Other studies showed that soulmates that were together had lighter hues, and could recover from clouded Psycho-Passes. So all in all, Sibyl recommended you find your soulmate, and there were a few methods to do so. You could search their name, since it was written onto you. They could also make a check to see if two people’s hues followed the same patterns, but considering area stress and about a ton other factors, it wasn’t a reliable way.

You hadn’t searched for your soulmate, or read any info about them, or even accepted Sybil’s services to find them. You figured it would only hurt you more to know who they were, or weren’t, since you didn’t have the freedom to meet with them.

You covered the name with another bandaid, the cream color a bit off from your skin. You didn’t need to cover it, but you felt better not having someone’s name branded there, like you belonged to them. But even with it covered, you knew what name it was. It had been impossible for you to evade the sight of your own body for so long, and when you caved in and read, you only felt about as lost as before. It was just a name. It’s not like you could guess what type of person was behind it.

The clock showed it was 10 minutes before your appointed meeting, so you dressed up quickly in a pair of thighs, formal shorts, a dress shirt and a vest. Right before exiting, you slipped inside a pair of black combat boots. The door slided, locked behind you and you headed towards the upper floors, where the meeting was held.

You arrived in the office, and everybody was there, or at least you assumed so. You were 7 in total so there must have been 4 Enforcers, and 2 inspectors. Excluding Karanomori Shion, whom you already knew, and Shimotsuki Mika the chief inspector. You greeted everybody with a curt nod, bracing yourself for the exclusion, and reminding yourself to not get attached to any one of them, especially the Enforcers. They had a bad tendency to get killed here, and you didn’t want to relive that. You had seen a few other generations of the division one staff, and only a few left unscathed, if you could even call it that way.

“Now that everybody’s here, I’d like to present myself and my colleague. His name is Kei Mikhail Ignatov, and I’m Arata Shindo. We’re very excited to work with you !”

The shorter of the two men was the one who spoke, his yellowish eyes glittering underneath his fluffy brown hair. He looked so… innocent. The other inspector named Kei was taller, sported a short cut of black hair and felt definitely colder… Especially with those blue eyes. What an odd duo, you thought to yourself.

The Enforcers then decided to say their names. The only other woman from the lot was Kisaragi Mao, and the timid-looking red haired boy stuttered out a “Hinakawa Sho, pleasure to meet you”. The older, white-haired man said he was Todoroki Temma, and pointed his thumb toward a grumpy-looking tall man with a goatee and an earring. You already felt like these two were troublemakers, and you sighed internally.

“And this guy’s name is Kazumichi Irie”

What

A loud buzzing noise had overcome everything else when you heard the name. Your mind was reeling, you knew that name, you knew that name ! You felt engulfed in a fog, everything veiled around you but that, and that loud, shrill sound in your ears. Heat rushed to your head, numbness to your body, and a physical pang of pain to your gut.

All the members of the first division were looking at you, expecting you to maybe say your name and present yourself, but you were too stunned to do so. Simultaneously, their watches activated and warned them.

“Attention, a hue is degrading quickly in your vicinity. It has exceeded authorized values. Please take action.”

The ringing in your ears became unbearable, and with a quick “excuse me” you rushed out of the office towards your room.

A few instants later, a call came in from Karanomori to one of the inspectors, and addressed everybody present.

“Sorry about that, she’s a bit special. I’ll do the presentations for her since she couldn’t.”

She pitched in your name with a drag of her cigarette.

“The alert is normal, as I said, she’s a bit weird. She’ll tell you more if she want to, but basically she’s confined like Enforcers are. She’s not a criminal per se, but her Crime Coefficient cannot be measured.”

Eyes widened in the room at that revelation.

“Her hue can be measured, as indicated by the alert, but it fluctuates a lot and usually settles in the clear tones, so no worries. She’s just an oddball and Sybil decided to keep her close because of that. She also has Mentalist abilities, so feel free to ask her for help about your ongoing cases.”

Behind her screen, Shion sighed again. Why were you letting her do all the hard work ? You’d have to repay her for that.

Back into your room, you frantically undressed and ripped the bandaid you so carefully and casually applied earlier, this time scrutinizing your mark in the mirror. Studying each letter, you compared it to the name you were just given and there was no doubt left. It was the same name. Fear, dread and anguish washed over you as the information settled in, like a stone in your gut.

“Of all people he had to be an Enforcer, of all people he had to be an Enforcer !”

You held your head in your hands and wanted to curl into a ball. Way to make first impressions too…

Feeling a bit cold, you put on the oversized sweater you wore during the weekend and laid on your bed, retracting under the covers. Why now ? Who is he ? Did you really want to know ? A myriad of questions rushed into your mind, until you managed to calm down a bit and popped your head back outside of the confines of your duvet. You checked your hue and yep, it was definitely darker. You let out a sigh and thought about the whole situation. What a shock, to hear that name out of all of names. As if sensing your unease, the marking on your ribs itched a bit, reminding itself to you in a way it had never before.

Your watch buzzed and you took the call, it was from Shion.

“What are you doing ? I had to present you to the new inspectors myself. God, what happened ?”

“Yeah sorry, I was feeling kinda shy meeting the new team” you lied “I’ll tell them I’m sorry tomorrow”

“Tomorrow ?!” Shion’s voice screeched at you “There is a case today, and if you’re not in my lab in 30 minutes to hear about it I’ll send someone drag you there !”

Gosh, she wasn’t cutting you any slack.

“Please ? I’d risk clouding their hues with mine” you pleaded, showing the crimson indicator for your mental state. The analyst narrowed her eyes.

“You know as well as I do that your hue fluctuates a lot because of your emotions. So either you tell me what was really the problem” she took a drag of her cigarette “or it was just a temporary stress and you’ll handle just fine in 30 minutes” she ended with a smile.

Defeated, you grumbled an “Okay” and ended the call. You didn’t really have a choice, did you ? You didn’t want to tell anyone about your soulmate. You didn’t even want to admit it yourself ! But for the sake of Shion and the trouble you had given her all those past years and today, you crawled out of your bed and prepared to go out, again.

[intensivecarenurse-blog]

My First Professional Interview & Unexpected Life-Changing Advice

The interview was set for Valentine’s Day, so l’m meant to work in the cardiovascular intensive care unit - right?

Wrong. 

I dress up in my most professional attire (actually my Nona’s). l’m mentally prepared, l’ve known that this would be a strong niche l have in my career. l’ve always thought “l’ll know how to act and respond in my interviews. Surprisingly, CVICU does not quiz interviewees about medical scenarios. The questions are more social and based on why this is your career choice. 

l’m waiting outside Christy’s office ten minutes early and l hear “CLEAR” down the hallway. “Is there a code?” l asked the guy beside me wearing a surgical cap. We hear “CLEAR” down the hallway once again and look at each other in understanding. l want to run down the hallway but l’m not in scrubs so l wait. Christy comes running down the hallway (5 minutes before my scheduled time) to ask if l can please reschedule. l loved that she took the time to even realize during the code that she has an interview. Of course l was ready for it on that day because the sooner I had the interview the sooner l would celebrate getting an amazing position as an RN with her BSN working in the best CVICU of the region!

l rescheduled for the next week during my clinicals, since I was scheduled to precept in the unit - my idea. Christy said that was fine and that she would “pull me out” when it was time for the interview.

++

So l followed Marissa during the 12 hour clinical and I had my first ECMO patient. I hadn’t stopped to think or realize how lucky l was to help this case this morning. 

ECMO stands for Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation Therapy ..

l wasn’t following my nurse that day and l felt off and l was staying by the computer to figure out how this 43 year old MR man went from the flu 3 days ago to having a machine work his heart and lungs because they were not able to. 

Again- not concentration on the severity of the patient and just waiting for the interview, l did not follow Marissa into the room every single time. Pt was on droplet precaution - we weren’t even wearing gowns, just masks. 

l left Marissa to sit and do my head to toe which, as a student, should fucking be done in the room. But it’s not, unless you are an aware student or you’re in clinicals with Mrs. Revrand. l told Marissa (l don’t even think l asked) “l’m going to finish this 20 page head to toe assignment, just let me know if there’s anything l can help with.” To which she replied, “well if there’s something to do l’ll probably just go ahead and do it.”

I should have thought about what she was implying but l did not realize. Instead, I went to Ria (my classmate on the unit), and say, “I feel like my preceptor doesn’t want me around her.” 

l learned this was far from the truth in the next 24ish from replaying the events following this. 

l went to lunch until 1 and still had not had an interview, so l mistakenly was telling everyone instead (including staff) about how excited and nervous l was. It was a good idea to get a recommendation from Dr. Ghost but not a good idea when the blonde nurse asked a student to help with cleaning a room and l pretended like l did not hear. In my defense, Ria went to help- then got to put down an NG tube after. Ria was the one to tell me the blonde noticed what l did not do. 

When l come back I help draw from an ART line (one out of 8 central lines -no. of lumens not included). l’m asking questions the whole way through and l could feel the humility of not knowing the steps exactly when Marissa finally huffed and said 

“I think you need to be more proactive in your clinicals.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. My subconscious (although very conscious) nervousness about getting called for the interview, my inability to simply get labs from an ART line, and especially- my laziness came to light exactly in this moment.  

Marissa had called my out on my shit. 

I have been blessed through my program to nudge my way into simultaneous ICU externships and clinicals. l have been able to see some gruesome scenarios and life-saving, life-changing events in patient’s lives. 

I can’t believe l was not asking a million questions about the ECMO device. l was reading the notes of how the flu (strain A) ‘progressed’ to this poor man’s heart and lungs failing to work. Which, by the way just seemed to happen. There were not any recorded notes of a history of a failing heart. 

Marissa was totally right and when l got called into my interview at 4:30, Christy asked what l look for in peers (coworkers). l used the example of what just occurred between Marissa, saying that I love when peers are direct and tell me if l am doing something wrong. 

Christy also asked my how I deal with stress twice, and proceeded to inform me that this is the most high-stress unit in the city. 

I realize that this will be a lot of responsibility soon. I get the call back (maybe) by this week. 

I am scared, l am unprepared, l am learning, and l am so excited. l hope l am able to work in this unit.

l promise myself l will be proactive.

[daybydaydiagnosis]

#7

Finally, I would like to talk about how my hypochondria has affected my relationship with death.

Death seems to be either two things for people, or sometimes both: something seen as inevitable, so they are comfortable enough to speak about it, or something that they see as they need to escape, and make jokes about it to fake comfortability. 

Me? I’m somewhere right in between I’d say.

Since my hypochondria began when I was young, I have prepared myself for death on numerous occasions.

 I’m not a religious person, and I never have been. Both my parents grew up Catholic and went to Catholic schools, but as they got older, they turned away from it and neither of my parents believe in anything. And even on my mother’s side, after my grandma passed away, I remember my grandpa saying that God couldn’t exist if he took her away with such a painful end. And I have another memory of my Nona making me do that father, son, holy spirit hand motion before a dinner one time, and it didn’t feel right to me.

Maybe one day I will turn to religion, but as for now, I’d like to think our souls go somewhere after here, like another existence where we’re not bogged down by our body. As if this is the first land in Super Mario Bros and death is just beating Bowser’s castle, and then your soul flies away to another land. Something like that. Not necessarily a God or Devil, but some crazy happening of elements and space dust. 

But this is the ideology I have adopted to accept death. And I have seen quite a lot of death in my life, from family members, to a sorority sister of mine committing suicide, to seeing a complete stranger die in the hospital. And on top of all of this death, I am constantly faced with these diseases and sicknesses that I tell myself I have. And sometimes it’s just a little thing, like the swine flu, which I know I could beat, or a peritonsillar abscess, but the more heavy hitting ones have made me contemplate my existence and how it will cease to be countless times.

Breast cancer. My body on chemotherapy. My organs failing me anyway. Me, frail and weak in a cotton sheet with friends surrounding my bed that I haven’t talked to in years. My boyfriend crying. My mom crying. I have put myself mentally through this situation so many times that sometimes I’m scared it will just manifest itself. But I know exactly how I would act, what my last wishes would be, how I want my body to be handled - all of it. And after reading in class about the Irish funerals, I fancied that enough to add it into my plans. 

And this used to get to me, as I would obsess entirely over my death and it would consume me at every waking moment. Had I not been a hypochondriac putting myself in these mentally strenuous situations, I still might have had these thoughts from my anxiety, but the fact that I told myself I had medical backing was far worse. Because there was a reason I was going to die. Like, 43 reasons I was going to die, on any given Thursday. 

But eventually, once I figured everything out for myself, I no longer felt the need to think about it every second, because I found this sense of comfort now. I had a plan, for almost every goddamn disease, and death became just another outcome. It was either life or death every time I faced an illness in my head, and now whichever option occurred, I was ready.

Being said, when the day does come that something is truly wrong, I’m sure all my plans will fly right out the window and I will be trying to kick Death off the cusps of my heels. Because being comfortable in theory means absolutely fucking nothing when given the reality of it. However, I will say, thinking I’m having a heart attack daily has improved my relationship with death, no matter how strange that may sound.

And that is definitely not the case with every hypochondriac, as a girl I work with, let’s call her Nicole, is a worse hypochondriac than I am, in and out of hospitals with completely normal workups, and she told me she’s so scared of dying that it keeps her up at night. She said that her fear that she’s having a stroke is unbearable, and I told her she should see a psychiatrist. Because I feel as if she too may be suffering from generalized and health anxiety, and may need more help than WebMD.

-EA