#i only do this a few tjmes ever

[purrble-archive]

I'm excited to remake . ..

[eliotquillon]

For the character ask game, what about Otto?

one aspect about them i love:

god i’m such a sucker for this in general with characters but i LOVE the contrast between otto’s “idgaf fuck it we ball” external attitude and his internal “i am a Hot Mess and Nobody Likes Me” attitude. it’s such a funny contrast to book 1 otto and also it pretty much explains everything about him, ever. he’s just a silly goofy teenage boy!!

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

hmm i think the fandom understands otto pretty well but i really wish more people talked about the parallels between him and raven? i have brain rot obviously but i think they have so so so much in common in terms of trauma + upbringing + various identity crises and while i do joke and jape about their politician killing world tour i genuinely think they understand each other on a level that not many other people get. i love the cheeky irreverent side of their friendship but i think they have a very genuine connection that otto would really rely on post bloodline. something something they would both fight through hell to help each other but would complain the entire time

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

these are literally canon TO ME but: 1) otto is autistic, 2) otto had a vague crush on shelby around interception point era but even he was self aware enough about how much she’d rip the shit out of him for it that he never said anything, and 3) for me, otto’s post bloodline future involves him trying to immediately throw himself back into glove, realising it isn’t what he wants, and then taking a very long break to go to uni and eventually becoming a teacher or a professor. with the occasional heist for old times sake

one character i love seeing them interact with

SHELBY TRINITY. say it with me: shelby/otto nation. if shelby/otto have 1000 fans i am one of them. if they have 10 fans i am one of them. etc etc. even just platonically i love their rivalry and the way they bring out the best AND worst of each other and just how much they genuinely love and care about each other. one of my favourite scenes is in deadlock when shelby literally runs over to him and basically flings herself into his arms. i do ship them in a “i think they maybe had a very brief teenage fling that was horrific for everyone involved/both had a crush on each other at the same time but mutually decided not to pursue it” way but outside of that i genuinely adore their friendship

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

this is kind of niche but i really love the scene at the end of rogue where nero sits at otto’s bedside and apologises to him and i always wish we had more of that…idk, tenderness between them? i think it’s obvious that otto genuinely respects nero a Lot and while we do get quite a few scenes of them together in canon i have always felt robbed of my graduation/epilogue scene with the two of them together. nero really turned otto into the man he is and i just wish we saw more of them together

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

kind of talked about this before with the otto/shelby stuff but here’s another one: i ardently believe that otto is the messiest person alive (because he spent so much time running off doing his own thing at st seb’s) and that it drove wing INSANE to point where one of their only real arguments was in first year when otto lost it over the snoring and wing lost it over the literal mountain of assignments on his desk. they didn’t speak for a full day and then the next morning they both woke up and apologised at the exact same tjme. shelby likes to take the piss by using it as her “horror story” whenever they all watch a scary movie together lmaoo

[hotch-stufff]

hiii 47 and 7 for angst hotch

i love ur writing btw <3

Drunk

gif by hoe-tchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, stalking, and death, past abusive relationships, normal criminal minds things, angst, crying, pining, but a fluffy ending

Promtps: Angst #7 "Are you drunk?", Angst #47 "You flinched"

Author's Note: Thank you so much <3, hope you enjoy reading!!

---------------

In hindsight, it probably wasn’ the best idea to get drunk at a bar. Especially alone. But you weren’t exactly thinking straight when you had stepped off the jet after a long case. And it had been a LONG case. Nearly a week of going through the same evidence over and over again scouring for a lead. Finally finding a lead, and coming to a dead end. 

The eventual lead that you did catch, led to the unsub already standing over her next victim’s body. At least you got a full confession. But you had been the one that had found the unsub. If that wasn’t enough, this case had already been hitting way too close to home. 

A woman was murdering victims of domestic abuse to “save them” because her mom was never “saved” from her father’s abuse. She had grown up watching it. Her victims had all had y/h/c hair, with y/e/c eyes. The same height as you, same style, just overall very similar. The only difference the team saw had been that you were never abused. At least that was what your file had said.

You had been able to keep it on the low for as long as you had been at the BAU. But you were terrified one of them would figure it out. That you would flinch at the wrong time, or you would do something to give it away.

You had gotten lucky and no one seemed suspicious. You ended up hiding in the back of the jet, curled up. No one bothered you. They all assumed that the case had just hit you harder. The one thing you hadn’t known though was that Hotch had been keeping a very close eye on you.

You two had become close, and would often hang out at each other's apartments. Spending tjme just talking about nothing and everything for hours. He had quickly become one of your best friends. You always went to him when you were upset.

But tonight, you just needed to get away.

Which is how you found yourself in this bar, downing your fifth drink. In the back of your mind, you knew that you wouldn't be able to drive home, or even walk without tripping over your own feet. You needed to call someone, and your drunk self called Hotch. While the phone rang you checked the time. 3 am. He was going to kill you.

“Hotchner.” You giggled drunkenly at his formal response.

“Why so serious bossman?” He recognized your voice immediately. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” 

“M’great. Havin a blast.” You slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He asked and you giggled again.

“Mayyybe.” You slurred, concerning Hotch even more.

"Where are you?”

“Mabel's I think. But let me tell you. I think you need to come get me because there is no way m’drivin home.” He huffed as you heard noise coming from the phone.

“I'm on my way, stay there!” But you hung up. You were so excited to see him. Truth was you had definitely developed a crush for the man. Telling him that was going to be difficult, mainly because of your past, but also because he was your boss, and about 12 years older than you.

You waited for about 10 minutes before you heard the door ring as it opened and Hotch ran inside, frantically searching around. He found you and was quickly at your side.

“Y/n, are you okay?” You nodded sleepily. You always did get sleepy after your sixth drink. He gave you a concerned glance before reaching for your arm. You flinched slightly, but Hotch didn’t say anything about it. He picked you up because there was no way that you could walk, and carried you out to his car. 

“You’re staying with me tonight.” He had said once on the road. You lazily watched  out the window as buildings went by. 

“M’kay.” You mumbled. Hotch sent you another concerned glance. Something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Usually when a case hit you hard, you would spend the night talking with him. He had been surprised when you hadn't shown up at his apartment. Even more shocked when you had called him drunk. He cared about you and it hurt him to see you like this.

Soon he found himself pulling into his driveway. He parked and quickly ran to your side of the car to help you out. He opened your door, and reached his hand over to unbuckle you when suddenly you shifted back. Your arms came up as if to block a blow and a whimper escaped your lips. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise!” You let out, sounding much more sober now. Hotch stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. 

“Y/n, it’s me, can you hear me, its Aaron?” You moved your arms from your face, peeking out wide eyed. You pulled your arms the rest of the way down. 

“Sorry Hotch. That was just, um, that w-was-” But he cut you off.

“You flinched.” He paused looking at the tears in your eyes, realizing that he needed to get you inside before you broke down in the car. “C’mon, let's go inside.” You bowed your head and nodded. 

“Okay.” You said softly. He helped you out of his car slowly, and walked you up to his apartment. Once there, you plopped on his couch, sobering up for the conversation you knew was going to happen. He walked in the room, a glass of water in hand. He handed it to you, sitting next to you. he waited a few moments before beginning the inevitable conversation.

“Y/n, why did you flinch?” He asked hesitantly. He didn't want to push you, but he was concerned and he wanted to know. So you told him. Every detail, every heartbreaking moment. The bruises, the scars, the hospital trips. Everything. The reports, the disbelief, the arrest, the divorce. Then the even worse parts. The escape, the stalking, the attack, the death. Every little thing. You could feel the tears falling down your face as you spoke about your ex-husband. 

Hotch sat as he watched the beautiful woman sitting in front of him break down. He didn't know any of this, none of it was in your file. He knew that Strauss had to know though, because you never would have been accepted without background checks and psych evals. 

His heart broke a little more every time you shared another detail. On one side it felt so nice to get it off your chest. On the other hand, it was weird opening up to Hotch like this. He was seeing so much more of you than you had ever allowed anyone since your husband. He sat in silence once you finished speaking. 

“Y/n. I'm so sorry. You never should have had to go through that.” And the tears came even faster, until they were silent sobs. Hotch, well he was more Aaron in that moment, brought you into his arms holding you tight, bringing you a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay to cry.”He silently whispered into your hair. You looked up at him then, sighing softly at the beautiful man before you. 

“Thank you Aaron.” He loved the way his name sounded coming from your lips. But before he could tell you, he looked down to find you asleep in his arms. And that's how he stayed until morning. 

                       * * *

The next morning you awoke to a strange bed, with strange sheets, in a strange room. But one sniff and all you could smell was Hotch’s cologne. You soon recognized that there was a warm body behind your own, an arm wrapped around your middle. 

You almost didn't remember what happened last night, but once you did, you began to panic. What if he hated you? What if he was disgusted by you? He probably had just pitied you.  

He must have felt you shift, because he was waking up. His arm tightened around you, and he leaned up looking you in the eyes. He saw your panic and was alert rather quickly for someone who had just woken up. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly, eyes scanning you frantically. 

“You must be disgusted with me.” You paused taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Hotch. I ruined your night and then cried all over you with my pathetic life story. And you probably just pitied me. I'm sorry.” He shook his head. 

“Y/n, look at me.” You looked into his eyes. “I am and never will be disgusted by you. I am amazed by you. You are so strong and beautiful and you never deserved a thing that disgusting man did to you. I don’t pity you, not at all. All of this has just made me fall more in love with you than I already was.” You looked at him wide eyed.

“You love me?” He leaned a little closer.

“Of course I do. It's impossible not to.” You dared closer still as he moved a piece of hair from your face. The loving gesture warming your heart. 

“Thank you. For everything. I love you too Aaron.” And he sealed your lips. It was intimate and explosive at the same time. And in the most cliche way, fireworks exploded as you kissed him. 

You moved together passionately. Your noses bumped ever so slightly as he kissed you deeper than you had ever been kissed. He was an amazing kisser, to say the least. He broke away a moment later, smiling down at you. 

“Give me a chance to show you what real love is, what it's supposed to be.” You nodded.

“Of course Aaron.” And you kissed him again, sliding your hands around his neck into his hair. It was the happiest you had been in a very long time. 

So in hindsight, maybe getting drunk wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

---------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If i don't get to yours, I'm sorry!! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

what the fuck are emotions. What are they. I don’t get it???? Wh. What??? I can’t even tell what I want in life!!!!! What are emotions??!! What ARE WMTOIONSvvv????!!!!!???? I am having a crisis. Fuckibg. What. What is going on. What three fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. I hate it here. save me. I can’t tell what’s platonic and romantic and I’m suffering. I don’t think I’ve ever fully been in a romantic relationship where I actually wanted to be in one, more so just felt like I was supposed to want it and be happy with it. I love the idea of romance maybe?? Why does it hate me??? What’s going on. Hhhhhhh??????? I don’t get paid enough for this! Ajdjdjdjdjjj?????? I’m so confused????? I always think my feelings are romantic and daydream and all but like ARE THEY?????? It doesn’t feel like it???? Maybe?????? Cause I feel all butterflyey and airy and swoony and I hate it! I cannot handle having emotions, let alone when I can’t even tell what they are!!! Whyyyyyy????????? This is so chaotic but MY MAN I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TJME IN THSI CHILIS RIGHT NOW. What’s a romantic thing?? Holding hands??? I don’t wanna hold hands lovey dovey if I’m not close friends with them. But exactly that! Friends!! Anything that’s romantic I could feel for a close friend!!! Fuck!!!! Is this queerplatonic??? Is this just platonic??? Is this romantic???? Is this the real life or is this just fantasy???? I DONT KNOW! I’m caught in a landslide no escape from reality! I DONT EVEN MIEK QUEEN THAT MUCH????? AHHHH?????? And of all people why must my heart have horrible taste! Like WHAT??? THATS the person you choose??? HHHHHHHH?????? I don’t know if I want a life partner!! The idea sounds cute in my little fantasy head filled with soft clouds and living in a cottage by the seaside drinking hot homemade coco but I don’t know about ACTUALLY doing that?? It’s cute but. The idea of my own little house or apartment. I can decorate it how I want, make it all my own, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted how I wanted, have a garunteed space for myself... that sounds amazing! Any other seems like something I’ve thought I wanted for so long but now I’m questioning that and that’s a bit. Yikes. And I don’t wanna be alone! Society frames single people as alone and I just internalized that! Fuck amatonormativity all my homies hate amatonormativity!!! Girl help I have internalized possible arophobia!!!!!! Why do I keep quoting memes while having an orientation crisis??!?!?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING???? What is existence??? WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR BASKETBALL SHORTS?????? Hhdjdhdjshjshshhdhhshdhh. Maybe I’ve felt romantic emotion? But did I? Truly? Maybe I’ve felt that attraction, but I never want to be tied down, however bad that sounds. Am I aro or just scared of commitment aJHDJDJDHSJDHJS,,, but like. I had a crush on a guy for a YEAR. I was head over heels. Like I was daydreaming bout love confessions babe it was bad. But I got over him. It was whatever. Then he like a year or two later said he had a crush on me, and asked me out, and I was happy??? I remember being estatic. And I agreed. But I have no idea why I was happy. Was I happy for the me from years ago? Did I like the attention and validation? Have I always had a problem of shooting for the high and then leaving the moment I reach the low??? I hated that relationship. I felt awful. Each time he did something romantic I felt sick, and I avoided seeing him even when I had the chance to visit. It was really bad and I felt really guilty. I’d gotten this nice little happy ending, and I ruined it. I got this cute fairy tale, and no matter how hard I tried, my feelings never came. I thought they’d come back. If anything they just fully yeeted themselves out the stratosphere ffs. It was terrible. I felt really bad but had to break up with him. And through the guilt I felt so relieved, like I was finally freed. Never really got why people were so emotionally destroyed after breakups when they’re still friends tbh. And we’re still friends. (1/2)

Oh yeah we get to do this again babyyyyyy!!!! Anyways, the other relationship I’d been in, I had actually wanted to be in a qpr, but he asked me out romantically and I didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know what a qpr was. I was torn between happy at spending more time with him and saying how much I loved him and the crippling fear and disappointment and lingering uncomfortableness. It only ever increased. I was a million times closer to him, but I told him I thought I might be aro-spec, because much as I hate to admit it, I felt awful every time we did “romantic” stuff. It’s kinda flattering and also kinda freaky to think he likes me like that. I don’t fully get romantic feelings anyway, though. But I thought it would all be fine and then it just. Wasn’t. We switched to a platonic relationship and I’m much more comfortable with that, but he talks about our future and I feel this fear that I’m gonna break his heart, because genuinely, I could see myself living with him, but not out of romance or anything. Just kinda like. It’s free real estate if I need a bug killed, and also houses cost so much money, and also movie nights, but I could just invite people to my own place if I wanted a movie night. But I just don’t know. I thought for sure I had romantic feelings for at the very least one of them, but it just didn’t work, at all. And there’s this other guy, I swear I don’t only crush on guys lmaodnfjdjdjdjjd, but he’s,,,,,,,, a youtuber. Because I have terrible taste. He’s only a year or two older than me and is funny and cute (asexually, bcus I am ace) and so my stupid monkey brain was like ah yes, this one is who you’re gonna like! And now I’m just like 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ every time I think of him. Very annoying. My heart is like an annoying bug that keeps bonking it’s head against the window next to me while I tiredly try to drive. But like,,,, I think have a crush?? But I don’t even wanna date him??????? So????? What????? WhAt????? What are emotions I don’t understand them??? This is a lot and I’m sorry my fam squad but oh boy am I having a real funky fresh time over here (2/2)

So one thing that may help you here, we tend to think of what attraction am I experiencing as a big objective truth. But it can actually be very subjective. So changing your thought process from being a detective and figuring out exactly what you’re feeling, to going ‘what makes the most sense to me in how I conceptualize this’. So basically try and think more in terms of ‘this is a helpful way for me to think of this’ and don’t worry too much if it’s right or wrong because there may not be an objective right or wrong answer.

So maybe it is romantic, but you’ve also got strong romance repulsion for being personally in romantic situations (I definitely think from this do you do have romance repulsion happening), and that’s interfering with having a romantic relationship. Or you’re somewhere under the akoiromantic/lithromantic umbrella, where you do have romantic feelings but don’t want them reciprocated. 

Maybe your feelings are more in the platonic or alterous scale. So still very strong, but not romantic, or not entirely romantic. (If you’re looking for a guide on telling romantic, platonic and alterous attraction part, the faq for this blog discusses it.)

Some people experience parts of romantic attraction but not all romantic attraction, some people find attraction blurs together and it doesn’t make sense for them to see it as a single distinct type of attraction.

And some people just in general can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic. And there’s some labels around that, two of the most popular are idemromantic (when someone categorizes relationships as platonic or romantic but feels no notable differences) and platoniromantic (when someone can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction).

You can also look into quoiromantic, which is basically disidentifying with the concept of romantic attraction entirely, or finding it nonsensical, inapplicable or inaccessible. So that’s another thing you can look into if it interests you.

So that’s a few avenues you can look into, if nothing here feels right, you can dig in more, but this is a good starting spot. 

But yeah, I’d definitely recommend trying and thinking of it in terms of what feels right, or what would be a useful way of looking at this. And not worrying about if it’s right or wrong, only if it feels right or makes sense for you. 

All the best, and good luck, Anon!

[wilted]

sorry if this is weird but I don’t rlly get on tumblr anymore so I don’t know exactly what happened but. one of my piggies passed a few weeks ago (she was super sick when I got her, vet said she wouldn’t make it to a year, she lived up until right before her third bday), and I’m looking to rehome my other pig right now even though it’s very painful. I love her more than my whole life but she’s so sad without her cagemate, and since I can’t rlly afford the time or vet bills for another pig right now I’m looking to move her to someone who has a “piggy farm”; better for her to live with someone else and other cavies than be depressed and potentially die with me yanno?

anyways I’ve raised a few different types of rodents and small mammals, and other than piggies I would personally recommend gerbils if you’re up to it. they do well in pairs, and compared to other rodents they’re actually kind of low maintenance- they need a lot of housekeeping, but since their enclosures are generally a lot smaller, cleaning is a lot easier than you’d think! they also live a good long while when cared for well, varying a little depending on what type you get, so you’ll have little friends for many years :3 my only issue with my two kiddos was the fact that they tend to get noisy and excited every few hours throughout the night, so if you have a safe space to keep them that isn’t in the room you sleep, that’d probably be best LOL.

my other suggestion would be rats, but as other anons have said, they’re prone to a lot of health issues (so vet bills are a bitch), and they need a LOT of intensive care and attention. they’re super smart and have some of the most wonderful personalities of any pets I’ve ever cared for, but the combo of heavy vet bills and potentially life threatening health issues can be a lot to deal with emotionally and financially…

I hope you find the right tiny companion(s) for you soon!!!

thank you wahhhhh i think i might get gerbils honestly…. i still wish i could get guinea pigs again but i don’t have enough time and they’d just end up depressed…. research tjme