aspecpplarebeautiful - Tumblr blog

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

lesbian | gay

bi | trans

Igbtq | pan

ace | aro

nonbinary | queer

Inspired by this post by @theprideful

If you save any please reblog!!

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Changing or adjusting your labels is a normal part of questioning. It's OK to not stick with a label. It's OK to try on a label you're not sure about and see how it feels.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Todd and Maude art!

I love these two so much. I also love their ace representation so I had to draw them! I wish I could’ve seen more of them.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I’m on the aro spectrum but very romance favorable and enjoy it a lot when I do feel romantic attraction. I recently broke up with the one person I’d ever been in love with (I’m 26), and I’m worried it might be a really long time until I get to feel that again, or that I might never feel it again. I’m also acespec and sex averse so it’s hard to date and find relationships, and I have only ever had strong romantic feelings for other women, which makes things harder too. Idk sometimes it makes me wish I had crushes more often or liked sex so that I had a better chance of falling in love again and having a relationship with the person. I’ve made a lot of progress on accepting myself for being aroace-spec but that part is still hard.

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, Anon. It is hard. Things may align again one day for you to find another relationship, or they may not, but either way it's OK to mourn the relationship you had and the feelings you had.

Take care, Anon.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Woodpigeon Wednesday? Woodpigeon Wednesday.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Romance doesn't have to be a commitment. A romance can be casual, it can be short, it can be a fling. You decide the parameters of your own relationships.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You can change labels as often as you want or feel you need to. Labels aren't written in stone, you can do whatever feels right for you.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You don't have to be an expert in the entire ace or aro spectrums to use ace or aro labels. All that you need is to find whatever label you're personally using to be useful.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

im aro btw

BEAUTIFUL commission to help me come out from @wizisbored! everyone should commission him, hes so wonderful and has an insane turnaround

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

It's up to you to decide if you view your romantic and sexual identity as a whole, as separate things, if you want to only define one, neither, etc. You decide how you conceptualize your own identity.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Poll update: Looks like it came out pretty even, with winter just a bit ahead and spring just a little behind. I was checking this every once in a while while it was still going too and who was ahead would fluctuate a little but not by much.

We were curious what season most aces tend to be born in. Open to anyone on the ace spectrum, and we'll check and see what the results are at the end of the week.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I'm 15 and I've never been in a romantic relationship, no one has ever expressed having a crush on me, etc. Some of my friends have never been in relationships while others have several exes, but in my daily life at school I pretty much never encounter romance of any kind directed at me, so I usually forget it's even a thing.

It feels weird to me though when I see other aros/aces online talking about fending off constant flirtations, love confessions, crushes, etc when that's literally never happened to me? And even though I'm more than fine with that, it makes me feel like something's wrong with me because I've never had anyone behave like that personally. I don't want to date, but I want to be *likable*, and given how much emphasis society in general places on romantic attraction, the lack of romance in my life feels like it reflects poorly on me :P

Yeah, I do think it's someone normal/common to want to be perceived as attractive, even if you're not actually interested in any kind of romance/sexual situation with other people. Though I would say that:

a. Being asked out or frequency of being asked out isn't necessarily a reflection of how attractive you might be. There's a lot of factors that go into being asked out like aproachability, the kinds of situations you're in/people around you, etc. For example a lot of aroaces aren't really connecting to people in a flirty/mutual attraction kind of way (though sometimes this can be misread), and aren't asked out as often because of that. Some people are very attractive, but kind of intimidating and get asked out less for that reason, etc. and

b. your self worth isn't determined by how attractive you may or may not be. When determining self worth it's important to focus on the things you can control. Value yourself for the things you do. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you can't control, or often even know, how another person is perceiving you in that context. It's fun to know if people do find you attractive, but remember that you're a cool and interesting person in your right no matter what and that matters more.

All the best, Anon!

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Labels can have exceptions. A label can be mostly true or close enough to your experiences. People and identity are complex and labels are often used as simplications. It doesn't make them any less valid.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Made this for ASAW, didn't post it because I made better things but might as well post it now

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

An ace friend of mine wants to write a superhero book starring a bunch of queer kids (including ace and nonbinary characters) and now they're convinced no one will want to read it because some alloromantic allosexual dude pointed out that no one's interested in books that aren't about sex and "don't you know sex sells?" Which like...okay??? Shut up??? Let them cook??? (Basically, I don't understand some people WHY would you SAY THAT?)

What? That sounds great actually. I can think of a ton of popular media that aren't about sex at all?? Even moreso for media about kids. Genuinely bizarre mindset even for an allo person.

Best of luck to your friend and their writing, I hope they go on to make a lot of very cool things!