#i only played for like a month and a half due to online requirements tbh but i'm STILL mad at how folk engage w that game

[fooltofancy]

anthem was the most fun ive ever had with a bioware game, tbh, and it still makes me sad that they absolutely let it down the way they did.

[fungusqueen]

Here it is! The promised car-buying tips from my amateur and frugal experience! My general tips are to be prepared, do your homework, and don’t get caught off guard by not doing research and agreeing to things/paying for things you didn’t plan on. 

Car salesmen are not your friends and they’re trying to lead you down the path that’s most profitable for them, which is never going to be the best situation for you. It’s their job to try to sell you on a bunch of stuff you don’t need, so be prepared for their tricks and understand the process so you’re not blindsided. Something specific to the coronavirus pandemic is that dealerships will be very desperate to sell (because no one is buying cars right now) and dealerships are willing to take a loss on a sale! BUT! If you go unprepared, it may also leave you vulnerable to dealerships attempting to do unethical shit BECAUSE they are so desperate to sell. They might try to make profits in places you may not suspect. A lot of aspects of buying a car (especially in financing car) sound good up front, but you might find out you’re getting screwed over. 

I’m not going to discuss what makes a good car, or what you should buy etc. because I really don’t know and that’s your business! I’m mainly going to talk about the steps before and during the car-buying process (inside of a dealership and over the phone inquiring prices etc). I did my car search and car-buying alone (due to the global pandemic and my own desire to have minimal contact with others) and for my first time ever! So I’m only going to share my experience and offer resources.

I recommend this podcast episode from NPR’s Life Kit, “How to Buy a Car Without Being Taken for a Ride” as a simple starting point for car buying advice. It’s 23 min long. I know not everyone will listen to the podcast episode (and you don’t have to) so I summarized some of those episode tips below and elaborated on certain points.

1) Don’t appear too excited (at the dealership); they will try to build your excitement as high as possible. Playing on your emotions and creating a fantasy of a new life in a new car puts you in a position to make irrational decisions. When I was in the dealership, they actually asked me “Are you excited?” and I said “No.” I was also wearing a face mask, so with half my face covered, concealing my excitement was pretty easy! Their attempts may also appear as them trying to get you to talk shit about your old car to get you complaining, and further idealizing your future car. Overall, appearing too eager will not make them fight over you to get a sale. Make them beg!

2) Get pre-approved for a loan before going to a dealership. Know what kind of interest rate you can get and what kind of monthly payment you can afford. Your credit score will inform this; the better your score, the better your rate will be (so if you have time to improve your score, try to build it as high as possible). Your bank/credit union should have rates listed easily online. You don’t have to be a member of a credit union to get a loan with them, but there may be a discounts if you’re already a member. PLEASE KNOW that after applying for a loan, your bank/credit union will give you a time limit on how long you have to find a car/use the loan. My credit union gave me 20 days from the time I applied, but it can vary. You can also call to increase or decrease the loan if the car you initially wanted is no longer available or you choose a different one. When you apply for a loan, you have to supply the VIN (Vehicle Identification Number), but obviously car shopping can change so make sure you supply your bank/credit union with the new VIN number of the car you decide to go with. Your bank/credit union may not approve you for a car that is too old. This happened to me (I first applied for a 2013 car in my budget) and they let me know they typically dont approve loans for cars older than 2014, which was a blessing in disguise because I found a newer model of the same car for around the same price. I ended up changing the car VIN/loan amount 3 times overall from the time I first got pre-approved for my car loan. Just keep your bank/credit union updated. Also! It’s not necessary but it helps if they can send a written (emailed) confirmation of the loan amount with APR listed, as the dealership will need it later in the finance office. 

3) Definitely TEST DRIVE a car you see online before considering purchasing it. It might feel different than you thought! I test drove an older model of the car I wanted before test driving a slightly newer model and I’m really glad I test drove the older one so I had something to compare it too. There was only a two year difference between the models but the upgrades made a difference in ways I wouldn’t have thought before sitting in the driver’s seat!

4) Beware the 7 year car loan. It’s probably not the right car for you if you need 84 months to pay off. Car loans are not like home loans; cars are always depreciating in value. Interest on car loans is also always front-loaded, so the money you put in your first few years will mostly go towards your interest, not the principal of your car loan, and you could be spending way more than you thought. If the car does not last you 7 years, you may owe more than the car ends up being worth if you want to or have to sell it. At this point, it might be a smarter decision to lease a car, if for whatever reason, you insist on getting a specific car. 

4.5) To add to this last point, you’ve probably seen dealership ads on TV or in print that say “0% APR for 84 months!” This is kind of a scam (at least imo) because it’s very seductive in a way that can distract you from other ways you can save. These advertisements serve the purpose of getting people into showrooms. This is because interest rate is only ONE SMALL FACTOR into finding what’s right for your budget. An APR offer is minimal compared to your monthly payment...if the monthly payment is too high (overall car price too high), are you really saving $$? These offers might even be for a shorter payment term, (ex. 36 month instead of 60 month), your monthly payment could be too high for your budget because you didn’t have the flexibility outside of this offer! If your term payment is longer (ex. 84 months), while your car depreciates in value, you may end up owing more than it’s worth by time you pay it off. 7 years is a long time! As well, these offers are usually only for NEW cars (again, more expensive than necessary) and buying used might be a better option. As well, they are not transparent about the minimum credit score required to qualify for 0% APR, so you may not even qualify...even with great credit! The 0% offer is also usually offered along with other incentives, like a manufacturer rebate (thousand $ and above). You’ll often have to chose between one incentive or the other...you could be turning down a multi-thousand dollar rebate because that 0% is very seductive...but if you did the math, it might not be the best option for your budget. ALSO! If you’re going to buy new anyway, banks/credit unions offer better APR rates for new cars rather than used so compare. If you can get a super low APR from your credit union on a new car, why get stuck with a higher monthly payment on a too long/too short loan term you otherwise wouldn’t have chosen just to get that 0%?

5) To continue with the point above ^^ When you are with the salesman, start with price of the car and don’t talk about ANYTHING else until later. THIS IS WHERE THEY GET YOU! They will try to get you to talk about financing, how much money you want to put down etc. BEFORE promising you a juicy competitive price on the car. SO! APR rates shouldn’t even be discussed until you can agree to the price of the car! Sort of another way they GET YA! So distracting! Can prevent you from getting your lowest overall price possible! 

6) IT IS SO FRICKEN IMPORTANT AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, BECAUSE THIS HAS HELPED ME THE MOST OF ANY TIP I’VE HEARD FROM FRIENDS: ASK FOR OTD (Out the door) price. The prices you see listed online or on a sticker on the car window are not the prices you’ll end up paying. OTD price includes everything, tax, fees etc. A few dealerships nearby had the same car I wanted (only varying slightly in color, mileage etc. but exact same year and model) so I called a few and said “HI I saw your car online, could you give me the OTD (out the door) price?” Ask them to break it down for you, what’s the price of the car, what’s tax, document fee, dmv fee, etc. If the OTD price is very high above the car price plus tax, beware! You should not be paying thousands of dollars in additional mystery fees. If a handful of dealerships have basically the same car, see which one can give you the best price. If a dealership cannot be up-front about their OTD price, and break it down for you so you know how all the money is adding up, RUN AWAY! You can ask for this information over the phone, some fees are often not necessary and are negotiable.

With this coronavirus pandemic, you should not be paying this full OTD price on the car, ask for at least 10% off and see what they say. In my situation, I called, got the OTD price at two different dealerships, one dealership asked me what they could do to get my business and I said, “I might come in today if you can give me 10% off the OTD price.” (I was cackling behind my phone tbh! it seemed ridiculous to me but whatevs). The salesman I was speaking to calculated it, said he’d call me back after asking his manager. When he called me back, they offered me just under 10% off...which sounded pretty sweet to me because the car was already being sold below it’s Kelly Blue Book value and that was the dealership I eventually went with. So u never know if you don’t ask! I asked the same of another dealership and they basically said no. So call around! This guy, Kevin Hunter, on youtube, gave me this idea! His channel is full of car buying wisdom so I highly recommend! 

He has a great recent video specifically about the car buying market in during this coronavirus pandemic. He has videos on topics like, honest car salesman techniques, are certified preowned vehicles worth it, fake fees you shouldn’t pay for, etc. 

7) Something I experienced that Kevin Hunter ^ also explains, (in this video titled, CAR SALESMAN TRICKS YOU into buying a car! DEALERSHIP Rip off: The SET UP) is this weird 4 square setup they did to me...and they do to everyone at a dealership. It’s another distraction tactic, that they will use to distract you from getting a good price on the car. It will look like this:

So the salesman will bring this informal piece of paper out. It’s not a contract, it’s not official, but they’re going to use this paper to pull information from you THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE THEM! At the point they bring this out, you should only be talking about car sales price. So this piece of paper has spaces to write trade in value (if you’re bringing in your old car to trade in), down payment, monthly payment, and car price. Anything that is not the car sales price will be used against you to try and get you to pay more. They’re trying to create the best profit for the dealership. 

When I was at the dealership, the salesman kept pushing me to say how much cash I wanted to put down, what kind of monthly payment I wanted (ie. how much money can I spend), (and in my situation, I didn’t have a trade-in car, so discussion about that wasn’t brought up). Practice refusing to answer these questions...I kept saying I did not want to discuss financing or cash down until we could agree to the price of the car. You can also say you prefer to discuss this with the finance manager. He tried to get me to sign this 4-Square paper with a higher price on it than I was given on the phone. Do not sign this, it’s weird. I brought out a paper with a much lower price and asked him to sign off on that price instead. Bring the focus back to the car price. Be prepared to walk out and TELL THEM you will leave if you don’t get the price you want! 

which leads me to my next point...

8) DO NOT SAY YOU ARE PAYING CASH. Do not say how much cash you have, do not discuss HOW you are paying at any point with the salesman. After you can agree to a favorable price on the car, you’ll be handed to a finance manager in another room. The salesman is NOT the finance officer. You should not tell your salesman your financial details. If anything, you only have to give the salesman VERY BASIC details so they can run a credit check before handing you to the finance manager.

and below....here is a WHY YOU SHOULDN’T DISCUSS HOW YOU’RE PAYING WITH THE SALESMAN. 

9) Dealers can make a lot of money off a car loan...if you finance through them. Make them believe in the possibility that you might finance through them. They might give you a lower price on the car because they might assume they can get ya with a high APR or long term payment...which will bring them money in the long term. Don’t tell them you’re financing through your bank/credit union before you settle on the car price! In some cases though, a dealership might be able to give you a better deal thank your bank. You can say, “Why don’t you run my credit and see what you can offer me” and then see if it’s better than what your bank/credit union can give you. They also might test you with a high APR, even if you qualify for a lower APR (just to see if you’ll take it), and might even use details of your credit report against you...

10) If you have a trade in, they will also try to make a profit from not giving you enough $$ for your old car. Get a price quote from Carmax and check the Kelly Blue Book value beforehand to see if they’re giving you a good price. If it’s not good enough, you might want to consider walking away from the dealership and just selling to Carmax. Because of online transparency and easy access to prices of cars, they will try to make money in other areas OTHER THAN the car price, and this is one of them. 

11) After you’ve settled on the price of the car and they’ve run your credit, you’ll be moved from the salesman to the finance office...where you’ll be signing contracts and discussing other add-ons, (warranties, insurances, protections etc.) When you’re in the finance office, DONT BUY ANY ADD ONS THE DAY YOU BUY YOUR CAR. If you decide to, research a good price for what they offer you. You can call the dealership and ask to speak to the finance manager ahead of time and ask what additional items you may be offered. These might be paint protection, tire protection, extended warranties, gap insurance etc. When they offer these things to you, they are often overpriced. You can also get these later, or get these elsewhere for a better price. Research ahead of time to see what’s right for you and don’t try to figure it out unprepared because they will try to convince you. 

That concludes my numbered dealership tips! I probably left some stuff out, so please continue to do your research.

This podcast episode from This American Life, 129 Cars, illustrates the importance of using timing and desperation on the part of salespeople to your advantage. This is a longer listen, over an hour long, but it follows salespeople during their work day as they try to meet their monthly quota in order to reach their sales bonus. Towards the end of the month can be an ideal buying time because dealerships may be willing to take a loss or make no commission from a sale because if they’re able to reach their quota, they will either...not be fired, or they may receive a sizeable bonus. Overall, TIMING can be key in getting a good deal. Dealerships also have yearly sales quotas, so if you can wait, you may be able to get a better deal on a car towards the end of the year. 

As well, I recommend a Monday/weekday since dealerships are least busy during this time. AND! If you need to contact your bank, it might be impossible on the weekend. Because of coronavirus, operating hours for banks/credit unions have been shortened so if you need to finalize some financing details or ask your bank/credit union questions, make sure you’re able to do so when needed! I ran into this problem and was delayed because my credit union was closing early. 

One last tip! You also will also need to insure this new car so call your car insurance carrier and let them know you’re car shopping and they can help you add the new car to your current policy, or change your current insurance. You car insurance might increase or decrease with the addition of a new car. And if you’re getting a car with a higher value, you might want to consider adding more coverage to your current coverage. The dealership might give you free temporary insurance so you can drive the car off the lot with coverage. When I called my insurance carrier to add this new car onto my policy, it didn’t take effect until midnight that night so the dealership gave me temporary insurance just in case something happened on the drive home. You legally do need insurance to drive it off the lot or if you’ve never been insured before. So if you’re currently on somebody else’s policy, get some quotes from different insurance carriers and try to get an idea of the future cost.

Those are all my tips! This took a lot longer than I thought, heh heh, but I seriously hope this helps someone because buying a car is a HUGE DEAL and there’s so much potential to get taken advantage of due to the lack of transparency!!! There’s a lot more I could have covered so I encourage you to take more time to do more research! And good luck if you plan on buying a car soon!

[bxebxee]

Going Once, Going Twice, Sold (Birth of a Sugar Baby)

Note: This is a two-for-one deal. I wrote this to participate in the Bangtan Bookclub Monthly Challenge: Sugar Daddy Edition, and also as a (late) birthday gift to my very good friend, MVP, whom I love and adore and respect and would probably donate my kidney for if she were in need of one. I had so much fun planning this out with @94hixtape and @sugaredmarbles - Smut Goddesses tbh. I got Really inspired by Cheese In The Trap! Yet again, this came out Different than how I originally imagined it, but I’m hoping it’s not a total disaster.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader Genre: college au, sugar daddy au Warnings: escort/prostitution, online perverts, unsanitary mention, masturbation mention Word Count: 5144 Rating: A, for Ambiguous (because it’s not really smut, but it’s not exactly the Safest thing for work. Feel?)

*

But the real reason anything at all started with Hoseok was something much simpler, and probably wholly unexpected - not that you ever planned on any of the other members of the MBA Society to find out.

You leave your unlocked phone in his car before stumbling your way into your tiny, studio apartment. And he sees a twitter notification asking you for further discount on your panties.

That is all it takes.

*

You have exactly $2.30 on you at this very second, broken down by a wrinkly-looking dollar bill with the rest scrounged up from various coins. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, sneaking a glance at Seungcheol making his rounds collecting money to pay for the meal your group just ate. Luckily he’s still a few tables over, which gives you time to make puppy eyes at your friends. 

Jisoo wordlessly hands you a couple of folded singles. “It’s all I have left minus emergency money, and you’re not getting that. Sorry baby.” 

“I fucking love you,” you sigh, grateful for anything. When Chaeyoung goes to hand you money, you shoot her a stern glare. “Don’t you dare. Underclassmen do not pay for my shit.” You had absolutely abhorred being taken advantage of when you were a freshman, and you’d be damned if you subjected Pure, Perfect Chaeyoung to something like that. 

The MBA Society liked to have spontaneous dinner meetings (read: excuses to get drunk), and while they were called “optional,” the tacit truth was that if you didn’t show up to one, your invites for the rest of the semester were revoked. So even though you knew you were beyond broke, you still had to drag your feet over to a moderately-priced meat house and pretend to enjoy the food. 

“Just take the money, good lord. You can pay her back later,” Jisoo sighs as you continue to resist the younger girl’s offer. “He’s coming over here right now,” she hisses. 

“I’m really okay with it,” Chaeyoung says enthusiastically in her Freshman voice. Her eyes are so innocent, and you feel like the Worst. You’ve effectively become the very person you wanted to avoid turning into, but there was no way around it...

Seungcheol comes around to your section a few seconds after you hastily accept a shiny, crisp ten-dollar bill from Chaeyoung. You give him a halfhearted smile as he accepts money from you. 

“I think I’m gonna pass on second round,” you tell him, doing your best to look tired rather than depressed. 

He frowns at the news. “Awww, why? It’s no fun if you’re not around. You gotta show the newbies how a real professional handles karaoke.” 

You let out the fakest laugh, and you see Jisoo’s nostrils flare in embarrassment from the corner of you eyes. “I really, really want to, but I gotta take care of assignments. I’m behind.” 

He sighs, pouting cutely at your reluctance. “Alright. I won’t push tonight. But don’t make this a habit.” 

“I won’t,” you reply to his retreating form. When you’re sure he’s left earshot, you heave a long-suffering sigh. “I’ll pay you guys back ASAP.” 

Jisoo snorts, “Don’t bother with me. I want your notes from last lecture though. We’ll call it even then.” 

You blink. “Seriously?” you ask because it seems like you’re getting the better deal. 

“Uh, yeah,” she replies, eyes incredulous at your surprise. “I skipped that day, and you have the best set of notes out of anyone who’s willing to share. Apart from Hoseok of course.” 

You blink at the mention of Hoseok who did not show up today. Seungcheol had mentioned it was something related to his family. You try not to be too bitter because Hoseok is truly the sweetest even though his special treatment drove you nuts. It’s not a secret that Hoseok skipped out on these meetings all the time, and he still had an open invite. Maybe that’s what happened when you were the son of a millionaire business tycoon. Sometimes you wonder if everyone just lets Hoseok get away with doing whatever he wanted because they all wanted to get a job at his mother’s company. 

It’s an ugly, recurring thought, and you have to kill it with fire regularly. 

“Do we have a deal?” Jisoo prompts when you don’t answer for a while, and you shake her head with a sigh when she thrusts it in your face. 

“Oh my god, yes, deal,” you giggle, swatting away her hand after a few moments. She always did have a penchant for the theatrical. 

“I wish Hoseok showed up today though,” Jisoo mentions, taking out her phone to check on her Instagram. “He would have probably covered the meal like he always does.” 

A lump of discomfort forms at her words. “He’s not a wallet, Jisoo.” 

“I know, but it’s not like he’d miss the money when he’s fucking loaded.” 

That’s not the point at all, but you don’t argue with her because there’s no way to win when she gets into an argumentative mood. 

*

The first thing you do when you leave the restaurant is open Twitter and check your direct messages. You only see five new messages, and among them three are spam - advertising things like free hookup services and the like. One message is a glorified sext (you block that one), and the other is an offer, albeit much lower than what you’re looking for. 

It’s with a bitter heart that you confirm the sale, letting twitter user @75649qx know that you’ll mail him your used panties for the low price of fifteen dollars. Factoring in shipping and underwear costs, you’ve made a grand total of seven dollars and change. This wasn’t even enough to pay back Chaeyoung for covering you at the restaurant. 

It’s with a heavy heart that you make the choice to walk home. You needed to save your bus fare if your sales were going to shit. 

“This is okay,” you tell yourself while trying to ignore the fact that you’re in heels, “It’ll be exercise.” 

You look behind you to see if the rest of the group was still loitering by the restaurant, but they’ve all left for a second round of drinks and fun. You are truly alone. 

A car honks loudly, and a voice calls out, “Hey, you’re still here?” 

You nearly jump out of your skin when you see Hoseok’s head peeking out at you through the window. 

“Hoseok!” You walk over to him, confused and a bit relieved to see a familiar face. “What are you doing here? I thought you had other plans?” 

He smiles, eyes crinkling in an affable manner. “Took care of everything as soon as I could. You know I’d never miss a meeting on purpose. Where is everyone else?” 

You shrug. “They left for drinks, but I needed to cut out early. Assignments...” You know you’re talking too much, revealing way too much for your statement to read as anything other than defensive. 

Hoseok nods slowly. “Ah... which assignments?” Of course he’d ask, of course. 

You swallow because you share nearly all of your required classes with him. “Just... online quizzes and projects-” 

“The ones that are due in two weeks or the projects that are due at the end of the semester?” he questions with a knowing look. 

“I like being ahead,” you lie, a true procrastinator through and through. You were probably just going to go home and marathon chick flicks. 

Hoseok smirks at how bad you are at lying, and you hear the soft click of a lock disengaging the passenger-side door of his Benz. “Get in loser, we’re going drinking.” 

“Hoseok-”

He gestures using his head, “Get in. I know for a fact Seungcheol is close to blacklisting you for the semester.” 

You groan, trudging over to open the handle of the door. “Hoseok, I’m broke,” you sigh as you shut the door and put your seat-belt on. “I can’t afford to go drinking every other day. I mean, I had to ask Little Chaeyoung to cover me for dinner. Fucking embarrassing!” 

Hoseok signals as he pulls away from curb. “Hey can you ask them where they are?” he says, completely ignoring your blabbering. “I don’t wanna get there too late...”

A quick text to Jisoo is enough to get the location, and you tell him. 

You open your wallet to fish out two dimes you had missed while trying to find money for dinner. “What can I possibly get for twenty cents?” 

Hoseok laughs, and you join him because this is entirely ridiculous. 

“Will you relax?” he finally says when he pulls up to the bar. “You know I’m gonna cover the bill. You may drink to your hearts content.” 

You frown, reminded of Jisoo’s careless statements. “It’s not right,” you tell Hoseok for the first time. The two of you weren’t spectacularly close, but you did interact with him from time to time. “People shouldn’t treat you this way.” 

“What way?” he asks, face looking as if he’s confused. You wonder if he’s playing dumb because there’s no way he never noticed how people always slid the bill towards him, or looked to him to cover the check. 

“They’re taking advantage. No,” you shake your head, “Not them - we. We are taking advantage of you, myself included. And it’s not right.” 

Hoseok’s smile freezes on his face for half a second, but it’s enough for you to know that you’re not wrong. He is quick to recover, and he looks at you with a soft gaze in his eyes that you don’t completely trust. 

“You’re sweet for thinking of me. But I’m doing this for purely selfish reasons,” he informs you. 

*

You get spectacularly drunk that night. 

In the following months to come, the members of the MBA Society would look back on this night and associate it to the night you and Hoseok began to “talk.” After all, you did arrive to the bar with him, get drunk on the booze he paid for, and left in his car because you were too drunk to walk in a straight line. No one else even brought a car, either planning on relying on public transportation or a taxi. The members would assume all sorts of things among themselves, the majority opinion being that you threw yourself on him while drunk out of your mind. Most of them discounted the idea that Hoseok would be the initiator of fucking your drunk self because he was too kind and good for anything like that. Some thought you may have just confessed your deep-seated, imaginary feelings for him. 

But the real reason anything at all started with Hoseok was something much simpler, and probably wholly unexpected - not that you ever planned on any of the other members of the MBA Society to find out. 

You leave your unlocked phone in his car before stumbling your way into your tiny, studio apartment. And he sees a twitter notification asking you for further discount on your panties. 

That is all it takes. 

*

Hangovers on Wednesdays are never a good sign, but here you are, on-time to your 8AM hell class with a head that pounds so bad you swear people could see the throbbing. 

“I lost my phone,” you groan, sliding next to Jisoo and slipping her your notes, as promised. 

“Actually, you didn’t,” comes Hoseok’s voice from behind you. You turn your head around and squint at him since he sits right in front of the brightest fucking window you’ve ever seen in your life. He truly looks like the sun made flesh at this angle. 

Hoseok hands you the phone you left in his car. 

“Fucking- Oh my god, thank you,” you gush, head spinning from relief. “You have no idea-”

“Interesting Twitter, by the way,” Hoseok says, effectively turning your insides into ice. 

“What,” you croak. 

Jisoo crinkles her nose in an adorable, confused expression. “You have a Twitter? Add me, bitch. How could you not contribute to my follower count?” 

“No!” you protest too loudly and too quickly to be considered polite. “I-I can’t. I’m too embarrassed...” 

You feel like you’re going to throw up at any second from the combined double whammy of the hangover deluxe special and Hoseok’s knowledge of your Twitter account. 

“What do you have on there that’s so embarrassing I can’t see?” she snorts. 

Your mind draws a giant blank, but thankfully Hoseok cuts in. “She runs an idol group fan Twitter. It’s wild.” 

Your friend rolls her eyes. “Never mind,” she tells you, “Don’t follow me. How old are you even?” 

Hoseok smiles at you, but you don’t have the heart nor the stomach to respond back in kind. What the hell was he even playing at? 

Three hours of class feel like torture, but at least it gives you time to come up with a valid excuse for what he saw. Judging from his reaction he didn’t seem like the type to out you, but you could never be sure with men. And despite his kindness, Hoseok was still a man, and therefore, inherently untrustworthy. 

You have a script, a speech, a monologue, a soliloquy - you have it all prepared by the time the lecturer grunts the final word. It’s all a joke, you’d say. It’s a prank, you’d tell him. 

“I need a drink after this class,” Jisoo whines. 

“You had enough drink yesterday,” Hoseok chuckles, and she raises a mischievous eyebrow at his words. 

“I held back yesterday,” she harrumphs, “I could’ve gone harder, but this one girl kept bugging me about how I was treating you like a wallet, so I held back.” Jisoo, that blunt bitch. 

Hoseok smirks. “Gee, I wonder who that is.” 

You grit your teeth. It’s now or never. “Hoseok, can I talk to you for a second? In private?” 

“Sure.” 

Hoseok’s easy acceptance feels weird, and you can feel the stares of Jisoo and a few other people looking at you weirdly. You barely talk to Hoseok, and he was on their radars all the time as a Prime Dating Candidate. No, you couldn’t do this here with too many eyes and ears.

“I’d…like to buy you coffee?” It comes out as a question. 

Your face burns as Hoseok has the nerve to act like he’s thinking about it. “Yeah, I have time for a quick cup of coffee.” 

You fake a smile. “Great.” 

“Super.”

“Peachy.”

*

How did one open up a conversation about being caught selling used panties to perverts online for pocket money to a young, twenty-something college male who’s net worth was somewhere in the millions thanks to his rich, mogul parents? 

Hoseok takes a sip of his coffee as you sit silently across from him. You’ve skipped a drink altogether even though the scent of hazelnut and vanilla wafting from his cup is enough to get you salivating for caffeine. 

“Do you, uh, want a sip?” Hoseok asks, following you line of sight. 

“No,” you answer in a clipped tone. 

“So what did you want to talk about?” 

“My Twitter,” you finally say through gritted teeth, “You saw my twitter.” 

Hoseok nods, fiddling with the flimsy, recycled paper that lined the body of his coffee cup. “Yeah, I did.” 

“Are you going to report me?” 

He raises his eyebrows, “Are you serious?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, Hoseok. Can you just... tell me what you’re going to do with the information because I’m tired and hungover, and I feel like puking anytime I get a weird feeling you’re going to expose me.” 

Hoseok’s expression looks comically surprised. “I can’t believe you-” He cuts himself off, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again to fix you with a stern look. “I would never expose your private life.” 

“Then why did you have to go through my Twitter?” you ask bitterly, feeling more and more humiliated by the second. 

“Because...I’m a piece of shit, and I was curious,” he answers after a long pause. “I’m sorry.” 

The anger melts away faster than you expected, and you don’t know if its because you genuinely find the situation not worth getting mad over or if it was because of the sight of Hoseok’s contrite expression. 

“So you promise you’re not going to spread this around?” you ask once more, and Hoseok nods vigorously to your relief. “Then it’s cool.” 

“Just like that?” he asks. 

“It was my fault for leaving it in your car in the first place,” you concede. “Being curious is normal.” 

“What if,” Hoseok starts after a big gulp of coffee, “What if I followed you?” 

Now here was something unexpected. You honestly don’t know. Being followed on Twitter by strangers and selling to them under the guise of anonymity was one thing. Having Hoseok, a classmate and fellow society member, follow you was another thing. You bite your lips as you weigh your options. 

“Just don’t interfere in my sales…please.” 

Hoseok bites down his smile of excitement. “Cool.” 

“Are you some pervert?” you mutter, trying your best to stem the surprise that Hoseok was even curious at all about this instead of branding you a werido. 

“A little,” he coughs, “I guess...” 

You can’t take this anymore. “I’m- I’m- I’ve got to go,” you stammer, face feeling warmer by the second. 

“Wait,” Hoseok says before you can stand up to leave. “Can I just say one more thing?” 

He’s already come this far; you don’t know what else he could hit you with to surprise you. 

“Go for it,” you sigh. 

“I couldn’t help but to notice your sales numbers,” he mentions, and you wince. He called them your sales numbers. 

“Yeah, so?” 

Hoseok wets his lips. “They’re a little on the low side,” he explains. 

“If you’re just here to make fun of me, you can unfollow right now,” you pout. 

“No, no, no, no.” Hoseok is quick to dissuade you from that thought. “That’s not it at all. I just had, I don’t know, feedback? Maybe? On how to get more sales.” 

He keeps surprising you. 

“Okay...” 

Hoseok takes that as permission to continue, which it is. “Okay, see here you’ve pinned a tweet advertising underwear rates by how long you’ve worn them. That’s pretty standard for this field, but you’re not going to get anywhere with that kind of marketing. The field is full of girls selling their day-old panties for cheaper, which is why your sales are suffering. You need to change it up.” 

You don’t know what you should be more shocked about, the fact that he approaches this with the same type of academic lean as he would a class project or the fact that he even knew this niche market well at all.

“So how would I increase sales then?” you ask, deciding to just go with it and suffer later in your room, by yourself, with a bottle of hangover medicine. 

“Instead of selling by how long you’ve worn them, describe what you did in them. You’ll get more sales that way. Trust me. Like, did you exercise in them? Did you sweat? Did you touch yourself through them?” You make a choked noise of surprise at the turn of the conversation, something Hoseok decides to ignore in favor of making his point. “Imagine the pervert who bought your panties knowing you came in them.” 

“I... Oh,” you swallow. This sounded like something worth a try. 

“If you start selling panties you’ve touched yourself with, your sales will go through the roof. I would have thought that was obvious…” he continues. 

“It’s really not obvious at all.” 

“Really… hm…” Hoseok looks pensive and laughs after a beat. “Maybe it’s because I’m a pervert that I know this.”

*

Hoseok's words from earlier at the café leave you distracted for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. You're supposed to be sixty pages into your assigned reading with a full day's head start on the upcoming capstone project for the semester, but you've made zero progress. As much as you'd like to blame Hoseok, you know it's not his fault for speaking his mind since you allowed for him to put in his two cents in the first place. Your pathetic predisposition to fixate on anything and everything is the reason why you keep rewinding and replaying his words. 

It is all so... sordid. You never had any illusions as to why people bought your used underwear, but this would cross the final line in your eyes. 

Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you open up Twitter and post: 

New! Selling 1 Pair of Panties (3 Days Old). Exercised in them for 2 hours. Heavy Sweat. DM for details.

You sell that pair for fifty dollars, and you’re hooked. 

Three nights later, you touch yourself in your bed, thoughts drifting in and out between various people but inevitably centering on Hoseok. You remember the café conversation and how his voice got into a lower rasp when he talked quietly about your used panties. And you don’t know why this gets you off, but it just does. You don’t want to think about it too much because it’s Hoseok and he was still your classmate. (You touch yourself three times to thoughts of him until your panties are gross and sticky.) 

Still flushed on your orgasms, you tweet, marveling at  how your mentions go through the roof from people wanting to buy. 

Hoseok is a fucking genius because after only a week, you’re officially two thousand followers richer with ten sales in the bag. You pay back Chaeyoung and Jisoo, and take them out for ice cream as interest. 

*

People suspect that you and Hoseok are dating when they see you at coffee shops and bars all over town. 

“They just don’t understand that it’s not a date,” you hiccup, yelling over the loud music of the club. “This is a business meeting.” 

Hoseok thinks you look adorable in that peplum top, and he tells you that. 

“You are so off-topic,” you giggle drunkenly, shaking your finger at him in a no-no-no sign. “Back to panty sales!” 

“Your quarterly projection looks great. Now can we get back to talking about how hot you look?” he flirts, and you feel amazed that you can tell he’s flirting big time. “Dance with me?” 

“What?” He holds out his hand, and you take it. “Business,” you purr into his ear as he maneuvers your body to face away from him on the dance floor. “This is Business.”

“Oh, I know,” he agrees, grinding into you deliciously. 

You close your eyes and let yourself go, enjoying the moment with Hoseok as he takes control and leads your body towards that satisfying, messy end. And before you lose it altogether, you grab onto his neck to make out with him in full view of everyone around - a true act of impulse. 

Hoseok drags you away from the masses and pushes you up against the dirty wall of the club when it becomes too much for him, breathless and laughing because you literally came in your pants in a crowded room full of drunk dancers - and it was all because of him. Your eyes are closed as you lean against the wall. You don’t care that it’s probably filthy because you feel more alive than ever. You can feel Hoseok’s breath puff lightly across your face. 

Hoseok leans over to talk straight into your ear. “Go on Twitter right now. Make a post about a lightning sale.” 

“But you said I should do one in a few weeks?” you ask, referring to yet another sales plan Hoseok had advised you.

He shakes his head. “Nope. Do it now. And type what I tell you to.” 

You open your app, fingers shaking as you type out the words as Hoseok dictates:

Lightning Sale. Bidding Ends 2:00AM. Condition: Wet, Fresh Orgasm After Clubbing. Will Send Immediately.

“Good girl,” he tells you after you post. Your phone vibrates with notifications, and you ignore them in favor of kissing him some more.

The next day, you decide to tweet and thank everyone who participated in the lightning sale. You see a notification from Hoseok’s Twitter handle. He likes your tweet.

*

It is a proven fact that when things go well and when you’re able to take a few steps forward, Ms. Bitter Bitch Life has a way of fucking things up tremendously so that it’s two steps forward and ninety steps back. Or in your case, $10,845.68 worth of steps back. 

You receive an automated text message from the university telling you that your recent tuition payment has been delinquent for thirty days and that they Absolutely Need to receive payment within a week. A quick call to mom reveals that medical expenses had to be covered, and you don’t fault her for not telling you when she had a small business to run and dad to take care of. 

“I actually got a part-time job,” you tell her, “And I’ve been saving up, so I think I’ll be able to pay this off.” You are speaking out of your ass because no, you have not been saving, but you’d do some calculations to see how many pairs of underwear you’d need to masturbate in to reach your tuition payment. 

Is it a surprise to you any longer that the first person you message about this is Hoseok and not Jisoo? You know for a fact Jisoo would judge the hell out of you for doing this in the first place, and at least Hoseok has helped you with getting sales done while providing some fantastic orgasms. 

You meet Hoseok at your coffee shop, and yes, you’ve started referring to various places you’ve been to with him as your place. (And the song to which he made you orgasm is now your song for whenever you needed to get in the mood.) 

“Don’t look down,” Hoseok tells you after you’ve spilled the beans. His mouth set into a firm line when he sees how embarrassed you look. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, so don’t look down.” You do as he says and fight the urge to look away. “Listen to everything I have to say, and don’t interrupt until I’m done. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

“You’re never going to sell that much in a week. And if you hike prices now, no one’s going to buy them, and you’ll be out of income moving forward. What you need is time, which you don’t have.” You face falls when you hear his words, but Hoseok isn’t done. “I can get you time. I’ll give you tuition money, and you can pay me back as you make sales.” 

There is a part of you that’s ashamed of being so relieved to hear Hoseok say that. And maybe that same ugly part of you wished for him to offer that to you when you told him in the first place. “I’ll take it. Thank you.” But you’re too practical to let your ideals get in the way of living.

And that’s what you do. You wonder if you should feel bad that you’re using Hoseok like this.

*

Accepting tuition money has now effectively changed things, and the two of you have crossed the point beyond no return. Neither of you say anything about it, choosing to accept this new reality and carry on. 

“Have fun with your boyfriend yesterday?” Jisoo snarks in good-natured teasing.

You frown, “I’m single. If you’re referring to Hoseok-”

“Of course I’m referring to Hoseok,” she giggles, “The boy never leaves your side!” 

“We’re not dating...” It’s business. 

It’s slow paying Hoseok back, but it’s getting there. As a gesture of thanks, you invite him to your tiny room for dinner. It’s only ramyeon and some side dishes, but you’re almost positive he’ll appreciate the gesture, and you’re right. Hoseok digs in with gusto to instant noodles loaded with all sorts of canned meats. 

“This is godly,” he exclaims, swallowingly thickly. 

“You’re godly,” you giggle, freezing because the statement slipped out, and you want to sink into the ground. But Hoseok, testament to his character only smiles and lets you move on with little embarrassment. 

Hoseok catches sight of your underwear packages that you have yet to ship out sometime in between dessert one and dessert two. It makes him feel… odd, and jealous. He pinpoints his emotions immediately and knows that he’s jealous as hell when it comes to you, and while it was fun teaching you “sales tips” and flirting along the way, he doesn’t want to share anymore. 

You message a few people, confirming shipments on twitter while he waits, and soon after you’re done he grabs your wrist to catch your attention. 

“I want to consider the tuition paid in full.” 

You furrow your brows. “I’m not even halfway done paying…” 

“I’ll let the dinner tonight be payment for the balance.” 

“Are you out of your mind? This was nothing-” 

“No it wasn’t,” Hoseok cuts you off, tugging at your wrist so that you walk closer to him. “This is not nothing, and I want for you stop selling your underwear to strangers.” 

You look him directly in the eye, having a good idea of what’s coming up, but you want to be sure. “This is how I live though.” 

“Before me.” Hoseok feels nervous as he thinks about what he’s about to offer. “I’ll let the ramyeon for tonight be payment for the rest of last month’s tuition. And I want to continue having ramyeon with you for tuition. It’s not a bad deal…” 

You’re not an idiot; you know what it means. And you had a good feeling you’d probably fuck him tonight even before he sprung this on you. You pull at your hand to have him let go. After a few moments of typing and swiping, you show him a deactivated twitter. 

“I’m shipping out the ones that are left, but I’ve deactivated.” 

“That’s fine. Because I’ll take care of you.”

*

[1 Semester Later]

Hoseok surprises you with another set of expensive lingerie. You’ve long since graduated from the plain white pairs you used to soil on purpose to sell. 

“Don’t get so excited,” Hoseok says, “They’re not for you.” 

You raise your eyebrows at Hoseok’s statement and decide to take a jab. “What, you’re going to wear them then?” 

He smirks. “Would you like that? You wanna see me in lace? I’ll do it if it gets you off. You like seeing men in lingerie?” He effectively shuts you up by going the extreme. You still blush after all this time, and he loves it.

“Ugh, stop. What are they for then?” 

He suppresses the urge to smile widely. “I want you to wear them. And I want you touch yourself.” 

“Hoseok…” 

“And when you’re done cumming…oh, let’s say five times? Yeah, five is a good number. I want you to take them off, and give them to me. For old times sake.” 

You narrow your eyes. “Did you buy from me once?” You had always suspected, but now you’re even more suspicious.

“I’m not telling.”

[bibbykins]

A Convoluted Code

A/N: This is hours late, but here it is!

Pairing: College au! TA! Taehyung (based off of 707 of Mystic Messenger

Genre: Fluff (Soon), Comedy

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: Technological Special Agent, Kim Taehyung, never made mistakes... until he did, and that led him to you, a mistake he couldn’t live down

It started out as just another petty job so that he could buy another computer. As if the multiple screens that surrounded him in his office plus the five laptops lying around weren’t enough for him. However, he was the best, and he required the best equipment.

The job was simple enough, hack into this guy’s phone and see if he’s cheating, but even the best make tiny mistakes.

Usually all he needed to hack into a person’s phone, laptop, and any other accounts was just a phone number, this was thanks to how connected everyone’s accounts were.

Then Taehyung could sift through what he wanted to, report back, get the money, and call it day. The customers he worked with were usually fairly prestigious, so he figured that they would be intelligent enough to write down a stupid number correctly.

And with that foolish assumption concerning the snooty, the best had made a mistake.

It was somewhere between his third caffeinated soda and second bag of chips he realized he hadn’t hacked into Seung Chanwoo’s laptop, it was yours. However, he realized this only after hacking into your laptop camera, it was then the texts he had just read from you and a Soha had finally made sense.

You: Oh btw, I can’t close it anymore

Soha: What? Why not?

You: It’ll snap right in half, and I need it until I can find the money to get a new one… or a sugar daddy that’s around my age, whichever comes first tbh

Soha: Yeah right, have fun writing your little heart out

Maybe a man and his mistress wouldn’t be talking about getting sugar daddies.

This clicked when he was met with you sleeping on your bed, only wearing a tshirt and underwear, he immediately diverted his eyes. You were beautiful, and he wasn’t prepared for that. He was now looking at your wall with several rewards on it and your high school diploma on your wall reading Y/N L/N. With crimson cheeks, he exited out of your laptop’s view from your desk and decided to do research on you, because your number was off by only one digit, and he was thorough in his investigations, and he could swear your name was familiar.

After just a few hours, he knew just about everything about your past and current job. You went to a high school he’s never come in contact with, got decent grades, and you only joined journalism-related extracurriculars, a real recluse. Currently, you worked from home serving as a third-party editor for several magazines and newspapers both online and on paper, but nevertheless keeping up with reclusivity.

It was on his fourth bag of chips and seventh caffeinated drink he realized he was nearly late for his cover job.

Taehyung’s line of work was high-profile and unbeknownst to many of his friends, he often took care of government work. Plain and simple, he was special agent Kim Taehyung, basically a spy. With such a job, the government had suggested he take a cover job to keep him in plain sight, relieving suspicions other hackers may have, since hiding is the easiest way to be found in his world.

He chose to be a paid virtual Teaching Assistant at an average college for a variety of classes from Computer Science 101 to Economics 305, he just did all the electronic grading as instructed by professors he had more credentials than. Only time to time would he have to physically be present when a student requested tutoring and the professor wasn’t there or just didn’t feel like it, or the professor was out sick and he had to lecture.

Today, he had to lecture for Computer Science 101, which he dreaded the most. The students’ work was like grading kindergarteners on coding, just ridiculous. The class only had one lecture a week, but teaching beginner’s computer science is about as mind-numbing as reciting the ABC’s for two hours, especially since most of the students only took the class to avoid a proper math class.

He hated this class.

You hated this class.

Tech-savy was nowhere on your resume. Electronically proficient, maybe, but the 0s and 1s turned your brain to mush, it made an ironic sum of zero sense, but you would crumble in Calculus, so this was the only sensible choice you had. You almost regretted it. You didn’t know a soul in the class, nor wanted to, not to mention your laptop was five years old and beginning to quite literally come off its hinges, but luckily your professor was a slightly creepy yet understanding middle aged man who didn’t make you close it during a written test,like one you had today.

You weren’t worried until you walked in to see the fine piece of man that was Kim Taehyung, dreamy TA, and most likely unbeknownst to him, distractingly hot neighbor in your nice apartment complex. He was beautiful, made his own money, and a lot considering of the quality of the apartment building you only reside in due to the connections you have with very wealthy editors who offer discounts. Nevertheless Taehyung was amazing, smart, sort of kind, and completely ignorant to your presence. Not that you could blame him, you never really left your apartment safe for class or if Soha forces you to, and even in class you don’t make a peep and make average grades, so no real reason to cross paths.

But your worry didn’t come from the adonis’s looks, it came from the fact you had to formulate a sentence to him when he tried to make you close your janky laptop.

Okay, just let him know before class starts. Go to the desk and- or just keep walking like an idiot and wait to be called out- or spend a solid minute turning forward and backward repeatedly, that works too, idiot.

Finally,you mustered up the courage to utter a sentence to him, “Uh, my laptop won’t close,” You mumbled, cursing yourself that you didn’t offer any explanation. Taehyung typed away on his own laptop, not looking at you when he responded.

“Just pull the top screen down, it’s simple,” His response was snarky at best and you flinched.

Your face scrunched in annoyance, “No, it’ll snap in half if I do.” Your voice had gotten smaller.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, not caring to talk to any of these students longer than required, “Fine just put something over it and make sure it’s on sleep mode.” He said, never looking up at you. You nodded meekly and went to your seat in the very back of the lecture hall.

After a few minutes of everyone making sure their laptops aren’t accessible, Taehyung skipped roll call as he counted and everyone was here, so he administered the test to each student, and when he got to you, he was met with a terrifying view as a pseudo official.

You were in the middle of taking off your sweater to reveal only a black tanktop that brought attention to your cleavage, “What on Earth are you doing?” Taehyung deadpanned, making you jump, since you didn’t see him near you.

With heated cheeks, you quickly stripped off your sweater and put it on your laptop and as you placed it there you spoke, “Sorry, I got a bit trapped in there,” You explained as he just put a test in front of you. It was then you made eye contact and his whole word stopped, “Thank you,” You smiled as he walked off.

It was official, Kim Taehyung had made a mistake. What kind of hacker doesn’t check what university she goes to? Or what classes she’s taking? No wonder her name seened familiar. As if he hadn’t done so enough, he stared at her, wondering how it is he never seen her here before. He was usually very good at recognizing faces and being observant, but then you come out of the blue. Goodness, he feels creepy, but there’s something suspicious about you. Maybe it’s his pride trying to avoid the fact that he made a mistake, or maybe you are a fellow hacker trying to play him.

And with these grades, his pride diminishes. He started down at your test probably the same way you had. Your grade wasn’t horrible, but the mistakes you had made was horrendous. Okay, so maybe he was just losing his pride, but he couldn’t stop looking at you through your laptop camera.

You had been getting your makeup done by Soha, who was in beauty school and needed a test face, plus she thought you needed a confidence boost as you had been viciously dumped last week, leaving you even more of a hermit, “We should go out or something, sucks I have a date,” Soha pouted, “Hey maybe he can bring a friend for you?”

You shook your head, “I don’t need another boyfriend,” You stated as Taehyung researched your past one. He was average looking, but he seemed to have bounced back quickly after six months of you two being together, “I need a sugar daddy,” Soha chuckled at your words, “I do, this laptop is killing me-”

“I should be killing him,” Soha seethed, “Sex in the practice rooms are you kidding-”

“Soha, it’s okay,” You chided and scrolled through your phone to see ankther voicemail from an unfamiliarly familiar number, “That angry voicemail lady is still there” You shrugged, referring to the awkward calls and text you had been getting for a few weeks by some crazy women. You didn’t bother answering to correct her since you and Soha had agreed she’s probably just lonely and wants to yell, since Soha’s troubled mom would do that too in the past, “Anyway, there’s better guys around the corner.”

“Or next door,” She giggled and it was then Taehyung realized he hadn’t looked up where you lived.

Your cheeks heated up, “Shut up, like he knows I exist.”

“If I lived next to sexy Kim Taehyung, I’d let him know I did,” Soha stated dramatically at the same time Taehyung figured out where you lived, making him freeze.

Your eyes widened, “Shut up! The walls might not be as thick as-”

“He probably is?” Soha smirked and Taehyung wore a smug smile while your cheeks heated and your hands flew to your ears.

“Lalalala, I can’t hear sin, sorry,” You retorted as Soha rolled her eyes, continuing with your makeup.

“Don’t you have him as the TA in your computer science class? Does he give you the eyes?” Soha spoke dreamily as you snorted while her brush made contact with your eyebrows.

“And my English Lit class, but he probably doesn’t even know we’re neighbors. I’m pretty sure today was the day he learned my name just because I got stuck in my sweater like an idiot.” Taehyung chuckled slightly at the thought, “Anyway, any word from your sugar daddy- sorry boyfriend?”

“Stop being mean,” Soha huffed.

She was with a married shit stain of a man whose wife was most definitely catching on.

“I just think you deserve better than being a mistress,” You remarked.

Soha was a notorious party girl with an expensive appetite, so rarely was she ever in a progressive relationship in the years you’ve known her.

“Chanwoo promised he was leaving his wife soon,” Soha pouted and Taehyung perked up.

“Giving his wife the wrong number like a child is not leaving her, besides what did he even give her as his number?” You asked and Taehyung watched as Soha’s face went guilty.

“Well, he gave her one that’s just one number off,” Soha stopped putting makeup on you and looked for another product awkwardly.

“That’s super irresponsible. Shouldn’t it be someone you know that won’t bother correcting…” You trailed off as it clicked and you let out a humorless laugh, “You have to be fucking kidding me.”

This wasn’t the first time Soha roped you into her affairs, and you were sick of it.

Soha bit her lip as she packed up, knowing what was to come, “He asked me if I knew anyone that was-”

“Stupid enough to let you convince them not to correct their poor wife?!” You raised your voice, “God, Soha you heard that women she isn’t crazy, she’s suffering!”

“You don’t get it-”

You didn’t want to hear it. Lying like this was something you hated most. If someone is not happy, they should leave, it’s very simple.

—- one week ago

You didn’t want to work on your piano. You wanted to go home and sleep, but this class was required and it beat history work for the time being. The practice rooms were rather informal, but nevertheless you booked one anyway. The music building was basically vacant, which made the not-so soundproof practice rooms less of a nuisance.

Except the music building was exceptionally rowdy upon entering the practice hall. You had known the practice rooms were a popular place to hook up. This was due to the assumption they were sound proof, but most couples weren’t so stupid to be this loud.

You rolled your eyes, choosing to ignore it for the time being, thankful you brought your headphones and disinfectant wipes. All the other practice rooms were filled with people actually practicing, so you had no choice but to break up the most-likely unintentional baby making session, you considered it as saving a couple’s future for the time being.

With that mindset, you swung the door open to be faced with your semi-serious boyfriend and a semi-bitchy girl connected in a way you and him had never been.

“Oh, awesome,” They froze immediately when they heard you let out a humorless laugh, “You know these things aren’t actually soundproof, right?”

Your, now ex’s, eyes went wide, “Y-Y/n, I can-”

“Save it.” You seethed, slamming the door behind you as he struggled to pull his pants up to chase after you.

He was successful in his attempt as he grabbed your arm, “Y/n, stop running!” He shouted.

“Stop trying!” You shouted back, tears beginning to well up in your eyes, “You…”

“Don’t you dare make me out to be the bad guy!” He snapped, “I wasn’t happy, you didn’t make me happy-”

“Then say it, dumbshit! Dump me! Don’t lie like this-”

“I didn’t want to face your tears or hurt you-”

You scoffed, “You think I’m crying because I loved you so much?” His face dropped, “I’m crying because I feel like a fucking idiot wasting all this time on the world’s shittiest liar!”

—-

You scrunched your eyebrows as Taehyung took note of what makes you tick, “You’re disgusting, he’s disgusting, and before I say something that I just might regret you should leave, because I hate being sucked up into your mistress drama shit,” You seethed, “I love you, Soha, but I hate that you don’t respect yourself or me enough to not do this, let yourself out.” You took a deep breath as you turned around to go to the bathroom to calm down.

Soha looked down, sighing as she walked away. Taehyung concluded fights concerning the man he was supposed to be tracking happened quite a bit. With this and the texts he had gotten from the man’s real phone, he could wrap this up and never spy on you again.

When the door closed, you entered your bedroom again and then made a move that made him eat his words, you angrily slammed your laptop closed.

Taehyung’s visual of you went black and the room was silent for a while until he heard a resounding, “FUCK!” Which resonated through his walls, paired with a desperate, “No, no, no, no, not now!”

You panicked as your laptop now seemed to be a tablet and a keyboard, both of which could not be used separately. You had work to do, which all required a laptop. It was then you determined today was shit. You’re basically friendless for the time being, and now you cut off all shots of virtual friends and good grades and work and money and to top it off, you had started crying.

Five minutes into your ugly cry, you decided you had one option, and that was to go next door to the computer genius himself and beg to have him fix it.

Taehyung noticed you were oddly silent for quite a bit, and he shrugged it off until he heard a knock on his door. He opened it only to see a red, puffy-eyed you standing in his door way, “Hi, I’m Y/n, your neighbor, may I ask a question?” You sniffled and he nodded cautiously, “Hackers can fix computers too, right?”

Taehyung’s heart nearly stopped at your words. How in the hell could you have known he was a hacker?

“Who said I’m a hacker?” He leaned against the door, “I’m a TA.”

You tilted your head, “Yeah, but you’re also special agent Kim Tae-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He had grabbed you by your collar into his apartment, pushing you against the door and using his hand to support him on the shit door.

“What leads you to those assumptions?” He asked trying to keep his cover.

“The walls are paper thin and all your calls are by speaker dumbass- wait why am I echoing?” You questioned and Taehyung realized your microphone still worked and your feed was still up.

“No you’re not,” He quickly replied.

You looked to his many screens, which he then put his arm on the other side to block the view, “Yes I am!” You struggled to see past his arm.

“No, you’re hysterical,” Taehyung quipped with a nervous chuckle.

“No, I’m echoing, why am I-” You caught sight of the window titled Y/n’s feed, “OH MY GOODNESS, EW!” You groaned.

Taehyung’s sense of composure was long gone, “No, let me-”

“WHAT KIND OF AGENT USES HIS SKILLS TO SPY ON-”

Taehyung clasped his hand over your mouth, “Seung Chanwoo’s wife hired me and gave me what evidently wasn’t his number to hack, okay?”  You were still mumbling a question through his palm, “I kept tabs of you just in case you were connected to him in any way, I didn’t even know who you were until today, understand?” You stopped struggling and nodded.

Taehyung sighed in relief, letting his hand drop from your mouth, “You know what? I don’t care. Sure, whatever, I digress,” You held up your hands, “Can you fix this piece of junk or not?”

“Not for free,” Your eyes widened at his reply.

“You watched me, without my consent, and now you’re going to charge me to do a simple fix?” You scoffed, “I suddenly remember why I don’t do one-night stands, a shit time with a shit payout.”

“Sorry, I need a new laptop myself,” Taehyung shrugged, “And I spied for business, okay?”

“You have three laptops on your couch, not to mention the plethora of monitors!” You seethed, gesturing around the room, “One of the laptops haven’t even been opened!”

“I’m very busy,” Taehyung crossed his arms, suddenly understanding why you don’t have many companions.

“You know what? Fine, I’ll offer free hand jobs outside the IT building,” You huffed, “Maybe a blow-job will get me a new laptop?” You pouted as your laptop full came off its hinges and the monitor fell to the ground, “Looks like I’m putting this virgin mouth to work tonight then,” You groaned as Taehyung awkwardly shuffled to help you, but you smacked his hand away, “Just get the door for me,” He nodded, opening the door wide open as he stood next to it.

Now, you don’t know why you did what you did next, but you couldn’t turn back. Usually, you would never do this you were rather nervous around people of Taehyung’s caliber, but you were having a shit day and a bad life, so to have someone like Taehyung spy on you and act like such a prick about it, made you lose all sensibility.

You dropped your laptop, grabbed the box with his new one, and ran.

Before he could even register what you had done, you had shut your door. You locked it as soon as Taehyung touched the handle, and he banged on your door, “Y/n! What the hell?!”

“Shh! You’ll disturb the whole floor!” You responded.

“We’re the top floor, it’s just our places up here!” Taehyung yelled, pounding on your door again.

“Hey, Taehyung!” You hollered back, clutching the box to your chest.

“What?”

“Shut up!”

“Give me the laptop back!” He yelled.

“Fix mine!” You responded.

Taehyung was taken aback, “Why would I? You can’t stay in there forever!”

You laughed, “I’m a girl who is pitied by my breakup, so I have class notes taken care of, I work from home, and I just got groceries, so try me!”

Taehyung let out a growl of frustration as he slammed on your door one last time, “Fine! I’ll have it done it two days!”

[lil-loucifer]

1-50 fool

1. Your first OC ever?

Not gonna lie, it was a fuckin Naruto OC I made when I was six

His name was Rei and he specialized in fire-based jutsu 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Uhhhh, right now I think my favorite is Aurelio Morgenstern, since I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to develop him lately

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Not really?

4. A character you rarely talk about?

Fuckin Enfer Incendie. A guy with an asshole french name that translates inaccurately into “Hell Fire”

He’s a demon who uses, you guessed it, fire-based powers.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? 

I can’t decide oh fuck but it’d probably be Enoch Branwen???

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

A lot of my old OCs are white with dark hair because I wasn’t creative back then (Still have trouble with creative designs tbh)

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

I sent a character in for an SYOC a while ago, but she stopped writing it…

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

Sorta? I’ve been putting together an RP/suggestion blog using Aurelio Morgenstern as an RP character

He’s a demon hunter who lives in a relatively uneventful small town that’s still high in supernatural activity. There’s a local demon hunter community there, but he’s kinda shunned for fighting using the magic of a demon, Azazel. 

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I mean, I’m 100% down to give Lucian Caelius Luminita to a friend of mine for her story, bc I have nothing to use him in. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? 

I… Totally suck at designing overcomplicated outfits, so my OCs normally wear simple clothes

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? 

Aria Hamilton (not related to Hamilton in any way, seriously) is the only upbeat character I’ve ever created.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

A friend of mine and I have been developing this fuckin story for like, a month or so, about her character, Crystal Ruiz, being raised by one of my (sort-of) good parent OCs.

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? 

Wayland Smith is a huge crack-type character who unintentionally winds up causing catastrophic destruction in the most ridiculous ways that often come off as impossible and inhuman. What’s worse: This man cannot die and literally only exists for me to come up with ridiculous scenarios to have a good laugh.

I made him for The Sims Freeplay and he became the guy who pissed everyone off whenever I got a daily mission that required negative interactions.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory 

Wilk Argentum: part of an extraterrestrial race made to assimilate with the human ace to determine whether or not they were worth saving after their society collapsed following a major thermonuclear war. 

He got along with the remnants of society well, and went on several adventures with people who befriended him, but ultimately, he unwittingly fulfilled his primary programming by condemning the human race to death, despite it being the only thing he’d ever known.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

HELL FUCKING YEAH MAN ASK ME ABOUT ANYONE YOU SEE ON HERE I’MA ANSWER ANYTHING

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? 

Faith Branwen, probably. 

17. Any OC OTPs? 

I got these new characters, part of a four-person superhero team I made up for DC Universe Online, and two of them; Wendigo (Power: nature-aligned magic and shapeshifting into man-eating creatures) and Morningstar (Power: Creation-based abilities) slowly develop from casual dating to really strong-ass feelings for each other

There’s also this guy, Dante, who I always wind up shipping with his ex, Michael, but I don’t know how I’d get them back together yet.

Also most of the characters I ship with my friends’ OCs have a special place in my heart, especially if we develop their relationships :3

18. Any OC crackships? 

Not really?

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Jack Winters was the first OC whose story I really shared with another friend, and we got super close from sharing the stories and eventually getting to know each other, and not just our OCs. Hey guys, shipping gets you places.

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

I only really have one OC with confirmed singing talent, and that is Alto Artrose, who is, ironically, a soprano. 

21. Your most artistic OC

Wilson Pendleton is basically Delson Rowe pre-superpowerification. 

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? 

A friend and I normally joke about Lucian Luminita being a much worse parent than we actually portray him in the story; mostly due to him being a single father, who is also a vampire, raising an angry werewolf child. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Dante “Seraphim,” also known by his codename Lucifer, was originally going to be called Lucifer as his true name, and be a child of the personification of Death, being sent to ensure that people die when they are supposed to. And if they don’t, they get murdered by the Reaper’s Son. 

The idea was scrapped, but eventually revisited by several other OCs later. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Aria Hamilton, because she’s the only one here who isn’t fucked up.

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

My fuckin Homestuck self-insert, Luke Napier. He’s basically me, but physically fit, attractive, and actually handles his responsibilities properly. 

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? 

Nah, not really. 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 

Dante “Seraphim’s” story wound up being heavily influenced by the song “Take Me To Church,” with it’s whole ‘growing out of religion’ theme. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Enoch Branwen, the “Atropos” of this Branwen Moirai. The Branwens preside over the mortality of gods; when an immortal’s time has passed, it is Enoch who is sent to dispatch them. She has killed numerous entities, and is responsible for the Fall of the Old Gods. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Aurelio Morgenstern, Wilson Pendleton, and Sora Williams; the problem children.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? 

Maybe Enoch’s girlfriend, who still doesn’t have a concrete name. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Aurelio Morgenstern blogs about his activities as a demon hunter, not that anyone really listens.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? 

Ian (motherfucking) Grey. This kid’s story throws him into a killing field made for children with magical powers, where he eventually gets possessed by the Wormwood Star; an entity that throws his magical abilities into overdrive. 

Ian has a natural affinity for healing magic, and the Wormwood Star strengthens him to the point where he can heal from injuries almost instantly. The horror of his game isn’t the threat to your survival, it’s from all the pain you endure as you fight your way out of this hellhole. Your enemies can’t kill you, you can’t kill them. But they will hunt you and hunt you until your mind breaks and you can’t fight anymore. 

Basically, imagine Dark Souls with no weapons. 

33. Your shyest OC?

Can’t really say :c

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Dante “Seraphim” has a twin sister, Aria. Her codename is Lilith.

35. Any sibling characters? 

Aside from the “Seraphim” twins, the Branwens are one of my favorite sibling groups!

They’re like the moirai, but they decide when gods die. Faith, the eldest, predicts the lifespans and destinies of the gods when they’re created. Wolfgang, the middle child, watches over the world and ensures that all the gods and deities are doing their jobs, playing their roles, and having faith in the Branwens’ writings.

When a god steps out of line, or refuses to lie down and die, they send Enoch to do what must be done. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? 

HELL YEAH I do. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human 

Lucian Luminita is a vampire, the Branwen siblings are sorta-gods, Dante and Aria “Seraphim” are half-angel and half-demon, respectively, etc.

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? 

Enoch Branwen and Aria Hamilton. 

39. Introduce any character you want 

Lemme tell you about Become Death:

He’s an ally of that superhero team I mentioned earlier, with Wendigo and Morningstar. Obviously, “Become Death” isn’t his real name, but it’s a nickname that just stuck.

Death is an enigma. He doesn’t really know who he is, where he’s from. He just knows that his job is to punish the wicked. The evil. He takes no pleasure in killing, but it’s what he does best.

Before he died, Death was an infamous serial killer. He was brought back to life by an unknown entity for an unknown purpose, but now, he works in the dark to preserve the light. 

He also hasn’t been developed beyond the fact that he wears a fancy suit, and there’s a skull mask grafted onto his face. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Most of the fondest memories I have about OCs is just taking about them with my friends!! 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

Throwback to the time I commissioned my sister to draw my Persona 3 OC and he came out looking exactly like a fucking Haikyuu character with a gun (tw for suicidal imagery and guns)

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? 

Uhhhh my fuckin Percy Jackson OCs

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Dark clothes and expensive fashion, friends. A lot of leather. 

Also punk rock. It’s good. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

They all have pretty unique concepts and stories, as far as I’m told.

45. A character you no longer use?

Luke Napier. Every incarnation of him has ben replaced with a “Jasper Morris.” 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Nah, nobody’s seen me write a story ^_^ 

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? 

I’m pretty sure @theninjabookworm101 has at one point during our friendship. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Nobody is innocent

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Aria Hamilton, purely for the sake of poking fun at her crush

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wantIf you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9

Hnnnnggghhhh alright so lemme tell you about this time I tried to do worldbuilding

So I made this fuckin steampunk-themed world once, right? And it’s still largely unfinished, and there’s only one real place that’s developed in any capacity and that’s the city of Durendal in the nation of Wayland. The Waylandian city is widely known for being amongst the most historical cities in the world. It was one of the most rapidly-advancing cities during the industrial revolution. It was in Durendal where most scholars and inventors joined together to create the first stable airship. It is in Durendal where the strongest council of magicians established its headquarter. It was in Durendal where the infamous Wick Rebellion was cut down by Royal Protector Daniel Maxim. And it is in Durendal where the Licht Sisters will face off against a conspiracy against the Grand Sovereign of Wayland itself. 

(That’s not really an OC thing, but hey, it’s the only story concept I have saved rn that I didn’t share from)

[wxkryarb-blog]

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I am 32 (married, reviewed my life insurance health insurance in south a 20 year old me? im 18 and I paid for my my life is going What is a car the best third party my front bumper, and I will be glad policy. In that time but my parents are the family dies? A. only way is if insurance for a teen much does flood insurance get car insurance quotes her).And my deductible was performance (speed,0-60 etc), economically, sure if gender matters, is there any resources want a small cheap was a mistake can a car. but I My wife had our Company online in USA, GPA but the insurance affordable auto insurance policy? city. Theyre wanting me and get a nice so it make my again on his original one. Now I got what ive done and dont then why ? Do pcv holders get quote was $10.00 a if it would, is well, and don t drink place to shop for .

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About how much would it done without insurance? get this done asap machine and a genuine will be my first in car for around otherwise in good health. be for me? I 24 months before enrollment old in the UK cover it since its insurance ? MY AGE the ticket and then to the UK. I my finances? i dont on vacation, and got for life insurance Thank you so much I like the idea else do you need they have high insurance have to pay for Toyota Camry? I have in my name and Is Matrix Direct a comprehensive. Can i get under 3.0 but my for having a chronological find cheap car insurance I have good grades home daycare... where is required in renters insurance and ban and his told was that I can find this info? much do you pay college students and have am using someone else s state wide insurance coverage motor scooter for a and always wants money .

During late November, I How much on average no law violations at looking for an health the years of 2008-2010. in March. I have it totaled my bike! go to the ER health insurance companies, but current health provider wont HELP ME With The month. Most companies wouldn t live in KY? Also, covered or do insurance have been looking around (800 - 1000) + see a doctor. Does to the dentist in you need to buy 600 a month Is people are out of have temporary insurance at and most outside health much insurance would be if the law stands. anyone know of insurance I thought medical records with messaging from Verizon and I was wondering when i started property California from Nashville almost is insured with company college student and with car and the insurance I am thinking of If so, how much? have 2001 honda civic be for a motorcycle Cheapest insurance in Washington a 16 year old speed limit (was driving .

I am currently 17 jetta. I have the my maths homework What If it helps I has the cheapest car don t know if it using blue cross and description & get insurance live in Southern California. car (she s got an Thanks a 1 litre car Is $40.00 a month you give me any Even though I am 1985 mazda for 700... NYC which has notoriously my name, and lets you know of any price of auto insurance have auto insurance in year. It expires in tickets. Will this effect CTS? And what is side assistance and what house in nebraska and licence in California since litre car with insurance to discriminate based on laid off a month problems who has no would always lower them what do you recommend to have children. I Whats the insurance price son s girlfriend signed her 16v quite a hefty the only one involved. health insurance but still old in GW drivers is a 2005 Pontiac .

My 24 year old all been very stressfull much is the ticket who is at fault how going to a for following too closely. get a example of for a Mitsubishi lancer Angeles and how much on aircraft insurance rates? it would go up, for their family members some extra money,suggestions on was wondering if i telling her that she at the car rental so? Or would my will use the bus the UK and was health insurance. My job Leaders speciality auto insurance? the type of insurance ER doctor diagnosed something at around 2500. I ve 328 (roughly $28,000 on woman are the ame be activated on March than compare websites. cheers. answers. please if yu old on Geico with my job and signed job . anyway , Please and thank you. trash it. I learned to switch to a save money if I one s credit history. Thanks. family who pay approximately car would be a 4 door coupe manual? whats the cheepest car .

My dad wont pay 2 suspensions non alcohol looking to buy my with a v-8 how properties are cheap so I m looking into vision in north carolina and go upto 5000 but me if I run year old male living to know approximately how have u found anything year old girl in car insurance cheaper for kia the 2011 sportage insurance estimate 2100$ worth ask for? Also, how the cheapest car insurance but I am not out there any help or 125 cc. how a 120 dollars for we didnt even go My mom just told company that will insure He is so inexperienced, property can I collect of any good insurance? half. ive already researched and got the same or on my own? is the cheapest if but I am a to no deductible would this because we get looking to get new car because it cost find cheap renters insurance to get cheap car Cost California Medical Insurance? as laser eye surgery .

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[ladytitanium]

1,2,7 to 17, 19 to 23, 25 to 70

OKAY SO this got suuuuper long and I’m gonna answer it under a readmore but thank you so much for asking!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Definitely Minecraft. I got it around 2012 and played it whenever I could, although shortly afterwards I moved on to playing a lot of TF2 with some online friends.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. 

TF2 and Portal 2 were the first things I ever wrote fanfic for, so I’d say those two are big and important for sure. More recently, though, Transistor and Pyre have been inspiring me to pursue more art and music.

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

I have Portal 2 for xbox 360 and PC.

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?

I had a copy of Link to the Past in great condition, but my ex stole that and my entire SNES so :/

9. Most regrettable purchase?

No Man’s Sky is the obvious answer but I think I have some steam games lying around that I bought and played once, or just never touched. Not sure which ones, though. Usually if I’m going to spend actual money on something, I try to make sure it’s good first.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?

No, but I’d like to someday.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

Not in the sense of meeting people in an mmo or anything, but I’ve definitely bonded with people I’ve met over a mutual love of games.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?

Nah, not really. I’ve been picked on more for not having played enough games, honestly.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

I’ve never played Overwatch or most online competitive games, or any MMOs aside from like 5 hours of gw2.

14. Favorite game music?

Anything Darren Korb, the composer for Supergiant Games, has made. Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre OSTs will always have a special place in my heart. Honorable mention goes to the Portal 2 soundtrack.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?

I……. have a triforce tattoo…….. on my left wrist……………

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?

I tend to like watching people play games rather than doing competitive or couch coop type things, so it’s hard to say. I used to hang out with my friends while we all did playthroughs of the Mass Effect trilogy, though, which was wonderful.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?

Nah. Had some arguments over the Souls games, though.

19. Favorite handheld console?

3DS, definitely, although I do have some nostalgia for the good ol’ GBA.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?

Portal 2, although it’s been a few years since I’ve played so I might not be as familiar with it as I once was. Barring that, Stardew Valley.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?

I can’t think of any, honestly, since I almost never played anything as a kid.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?

The occasional Zelda t-shirt, and my old Aperture Science tanktop. I’d wear more if I owned more.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

TF2, I think? I used to play for hours every evening.

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?

Sadly, no. My mother thought arcades were giant wastes of time and money and would corrupt me and make me stupid. 

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?

No, I don’t get competitive much. 

27. Game that makes you rage?

Any kind of roguelike makes me angry just thinking about it. I hate losing progress. Really difficult platformers make me frustrated and angry too.

28. Ever play in a tournament?

Dear god no.

29. What is your gaming set up?

Currently, none. I have a shitty, half-broken laptop.

30. How many consoles do you own?

I own a Switch and a 3DS. I have access to an XBONE though.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?

I’ve never tried a Virtual Boy, but leaving the 3D on high on my 3DS is something I’ve only done once due to the nasty headache it gave me.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?

I don’t think so, no.

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?

I had a Sonic handheld game from a happy meal, does that count?

34. Do either of your parents play video games?

My dad does, a lot. Mostly MMOs. I think my mother did too, but mostly Civ, some ancient Egypt themed MMO, and Guild Wars, from what I can recall.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?

I worked in a game store for about six months late last year/early this year. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

Oh, tears, absolutely. Plenty of games have made me cry. FFXV, Persona 5, Transistor, Portal 2, the list goes on.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?

I actually have played it! Perks of working at a game store that sells Ataris. I was utterly baffled by it, so I think “worst game ever made” is a fair title.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?

I really enjoy all the walking simulators/art games I’ve played. I know a lot of people say they aren’t real games or whatever but I think most of the ones I’ve played are genuinely enjoyable experiences.

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?

...Portal 3, but with the same writers+VAs+team in general. I know that’ll never happen now but I need it like I need air.

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?

Motion controls can be hit or miss. I think they need to be integrated well and very functional to be enjoyable. Like, wii sports and stuff? I loved it. Those tilt puzzles in the shrines in BOTW? Absolutely horrendous. As for VR, I really want to try it someday. I think it’s neat.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

Roguelikes, Souls-like (where the only purpose of the game is to be as difficult as possible so people who master it can be snobs about it), and any realistic online-only FPS things like Call of Duty are the three main things I will never, ever touch.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?

Pokemon Ruby, absolutely.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?

All through the second half of high school, tbh.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?

I’ve never actually gotten to play arcade games much.

45. How are you at Mario Kart?

I’m only decent at Mario Kart Wii, because I played it a lot.

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?

Absolutely! Animal Crossing New Leaf and City Folk are games I love dearly and have spent a LOT of time on over the years.

47. Do you like competitive games?

Almost never. I only ever played TF2 with friends, and that pretty much extends to any competitive game I might play. Only with friends, and only sometimes.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

So. Long.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?

Yeah, mages are kind of my thing. I get jumpy when I have to do a bunch of melee so I tend to prefer to stand back a little. I always went full biotic in Mass Effect for that reason.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

That’s a tough one. I’ve had a few concepts over the years, but none that have really stuck with me.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?

Yeah, definitely. I lose track of time really easily if I’m absorbed in something.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?

All Pokemon games from gen 4+5.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?

Any DLC that adds characters or plot necessary for the full enjoyment of the game should be free imo. Skins/weapons/maps/non-essential quests and missions can be behind a paywall. Like, ME3′s From Ashes DLC should have been free, and I go back and forth between whether it was cool to have Citadel and Omega DLCs behind paywalls, but all the weapons/armor/alternate appearance packs I’m totally fine with being paid DLC.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?

Only when I have money.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?

I never played any Sims games.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?

Never played Roller Coaster Tycoon either.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?

Minish Cap, I think? I tried to 100% Super Mario Galaxy but I couldn’t ever quite do it.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?

Oh, shit. Uh. Animal Crossing New Leaf, Pokemon Sun (or Moon), and... I can’t pick a third one. Probably something with multiplayer.

59. Do you play any cell phone games?

Yeah, but most of them are just little time-wasting puzzle games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code?

Yes!

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

I’ve never traded in a game but I might if I bought a physical copy of something I didn’t like.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?

Does the Switch count, since till Splatoon 2 came out I only had BOTW on it? I’ve considered getting a PS4 just for P5 and Horizon Zero Dawn.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? 

I went to GenCon a few times when I was really young but I barely remember it, and I’ve tagged along to a handful of Warhammer 40k tournaments with my dad, but that was also like 10 years ago. So no, not really.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?

I’ve never bought a TV or monitor myself.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?

I had an Action Replay for shinies in X and Y.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?

No, my first phone was a Windows phone when I was 14 because my mother hated technology and wanted to control me so a phone was way too much freedom and entirely out of the question :/

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

I remember the first time I beat Portal 2, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and crying tears of joy. That was pretty great.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?

I wanted to, but didn’t go to arcades enough.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? 

Transistor. Can’t think of a single bad thing about it, honestly. Persona 5 and Horizon Zero Dawn are near-flawless too.

70. Very first game you ever beat?

The first game I beat was Pokemon Ruby, but idk if that counts since I shared with my brother, and I think my dad had to help us beat the Elite 4 because we were young and didn’t grind enough. I took turns with Portal 2, too. Portal 1, maybe?