#i pray hy gets better in my absence

[juniaships]

After being reminded of how awful canon film is I wrote my own self indulgent version of Batman Vs. Superman. I want the story to be self contained, so no Doomsday or Darkseid forewarning. Warning: Rambling, me being butthurt while high on sugar, really trying to make this a coherent storyline with genuine development, some Bruce x OC moments shut up you demon!

The beginning is the same as in canon with Lois in Africa???Middle East??? With her partner James Olsen trying to resolve a hostage situation. James gets killed trying to protect a hostage, but before anymore are killed Superman comes in and rescues them. He subdues not kill the terrorists but gets into trouble with the intelligence agency for interrupting their mission. This incident reaches the ears of Helen Hunt's character the no-nonsense Senator. However Superman is more concerned for the deceased James and the unharmed hostages than getting in trouble with the government, he feels guilty being unable to save James in time.

After James Olsen's funeral Clark and Lois are unsure what to do next. They decide the best way to honor his memory is continuing their line of working bringing light to troubling issues as well as a troubling rose of villains. They also find out that the terrorists had weapons given to them by Luthor (to protect interests in that region).

Meanwhile, Lex decides to capitalize on the post destruction of Metropolis by launching a smear campaign. He also starts pursuing charitable events to make himself look good in front of the masses. Because of growing negativity towards Supes, Clark starts feeling a lack of confidence but from reassurance from his mom he redirects his focus hero by doing small stuff around Smallville. Gradually the town starts to see him in a far better light but there's still Metropolis and the larger world. Clark goes there to help rebuild. At his job at DP, he gets the chance to interview visiting millionaire Bruce Wayne in Whatever City (not the actual name but a totally different city from Metropolis and Gotham). At the press meeting Bruce is rather cold & not as Clark expected. He's even working with Lex Luthor as part of a business deal, which makes Clark wary as he knows about Luthor's criminal activity.

Superman goes out in a flight to clear his head. While flying around he sees a kid walking on the railroad tracks hy himself with a pair of headphones....and a train steadily approaching! Supes swoops in and saves the kod from being nuked and chastises him for being so reckless. The teenager apologies and introduces himself as Jimmy Olsen (a nephew of the deceased James). He had been listening to music as a way to cope with his uncle's death. They talk for a while and Superman brings Jimmy back home. Several weeks later Clark ends up mentoring Jimmy as a school project.

Back in Whatever City we're introduced to one of Lex's assistants Nicola. She's a former Holliday Girl who had overheard Lex's plan and vowed to stop him. She managed to get in contact with an old friend: Diana Prince. Nicola brings up Lex's plan and hidden research of metahumans. The Amazon surmises that such a scheme could result in the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of people. Diana decides to bring her agency to stop him & asks Nicola to stay low. Diana gathers her old armor and prays to the Gods for luck.

Lex apparently likes Nicola enough to send her an invite to a charity ball, where she crosses paths with Bruce for the first time. They talk for a while only to be interrupted by Clark.

After a meeting with Luthor to discuss a merger with their companies, and seeing hints of Luthor's true selfishness, Bruce grows suspicious of him and started to dig around. We see through memorabilia that his initial coldness towards Clark and other people wasn't out of spite but of grief: Jason Todd's death some years ago.

Clark continues his good deeds and is slowly regaining his respect. He even makes plan to visit a children's hospital but is forced to cancel when Superman gets called to show up for a Congress hearing. At the meeting Superman admits his guilt but tells about James and how he died a hero. The Senator doesn't know where Superman is going with this but is listening. Then Superman's voice trails of as he hears a beeping noise and shocked he leaves the room in a hurry. He briefly searches the place and finds a bomb strapped in a closet. He carries the bomb out and throws it as high into the sky as possible Back inside the audience and senator are bewildered by his absence then hear a loud booming noise outside. There's shock as a bright light flashes in the sky...

Superman legit rejected their hearing to save them from a bomb. A bomb planted there by Tess on the instructions of Luthor...a plan she was willing to sacrifice her own life for.

This leaves the senator reconsidering her stance: if he really was as bad as people say then he wouldn't have saved them.

After the incident the entire country begins to have a more positive opinion of Superman while the government launches a search for possible terrorists. Bruce hears about what happened and after sneaking around as Batman, finds out about Luthor being the one responsible for the attempted terror attack. Later on he (as civilian) makes an announcement that he is not going to go through with the merger with LexCorp.

Hearing the news that Superman foiled his attempted assassination (and losing out on Wayne Enterprises), Lex gets very pissed off and threatens to fire Tess. She tries to save face by reminding Lex of his contingency plan...making Lex calm down and grin as he begins to remake his plan.

Nicola agrees to a date with Bruce and prepares. Meanwhile Lois and Jimmy are enjoying a night on the town while Clark stays behind to work on a news story. The two friends were about ti make it back to their hotel before being accosted by some men who force them into a car and takes them to Lex Corp.

At the HQ Lois calls him out that his plan could spell doom for the world. Surprisingly Luthor agrees but makes it clear he doesn't care. He orders his men to capture her, but Jimmy manages to escape and goes off to find Clark (who is writing a story to expose Luthor's actions). Jimmy tells him learns from him that Lois is in trouble Superman tells him to stay as he fetches the police. In reality he jas gone to find her as his hero alias. He finds her but just as he's about to rescue her Lex threatens that he also has another certain someone (Martha Kent ) captured if he doesn't comply, seeing that Supes was often seen visiting her. Reluctantly Superman complies and Lois is freed from her bonds, yet Lex takes them as hostages to a room lined with Green Kryptonite. He leaves to his warehouse to check on progress of his prototype. Jimmy wonders where Clark has gone and goes to the police station himself.

On their date Bruce mentions to Nicola that he knows what she's up to. Nicola coldly replies what was he talking about and he mentions Lex's actions and her possible status as an accomplice This starts a spat leading to Nicola spilling that she is working against Lex (making her a foil to the blindly loyal Tess) and that her goal was to stop Lex from unleashing his plan. She already called a friend to help them yet when Bruce presses forward they see a kid (Jimmy) wandering around and concerned asks what's wrong. Jimmy replies that his friend was kidnapped and doesn't know what to do. Bruce leaves to find Clark while Nicola stays with Jimmy.

Nicole & Jimmy arrives back at the hotel and sees Tess Mercer waiting for them. She had been sent by Luthor to eliminate the witness. Nicola tries to talk her coworker out of harming an innocent kid but Tess refuses. They duel but Tess proves to be a surprisingly stronger fighter. Before Tess could come in for the kill a frightened Jimmy knocks her out cold from behind.

At HQ Lois & a weakened Superman attempt an escape. Lois believes its hopeless but Clark reminds her that Lex won't put them down for long. Batman arrives at the HQ and stealthily avoids the guards. He deduces the room Lois and Supes are locked up in and free them. Batman says thay a little birdie told him everything Lois and Clark grinning that it's Jimmy and the two superheroes decide to work together to bring down Lex.

Batman goes to save Martha (the warehouse fight) while Superman goes to confront Lex, dropping Lois off at the hotel where rhe police are waiting (Tess apprehended). Nicola researcher offers to take the reporter home but she declines, not wanting to sit back and watch Lex try to destroy the world. After giving her report to the police she and Nicole meet Steven Trevor (a descendant of Steve Trevor and an agent). Steven says he already sent his men to arrest Lex as they found that he waa behind the bombing. Lois sneaks away to see if she can help Clark.

Clark manages to catch uo to Lex at his lab and tries to reason with him. Lex says that he already unleashed his prototype as a test to see how many lives Superman is able to save. Superman argues that Lex has gone mad trying to play god, which he disagrees: "I'm not playing god I'm only playing favorites is all." Disgusted, Superman leaves and goes off to fight the prototype. As he does an entire line of trucks arrive...led by Nicola's special friend...

Lex realizes he has been found out and tries to destroy the evidence. Lois realize that the monster was made of Kryptonian DNA so she looks around for the spare Kryptonite and manages to grab a considerable long piece. Just as she does the place starts flooding and she runs. However she nearly drown. Fortunately she gets pulled out by a woman wearing armor. Lois doesn't even ask her name as she recognizes the W shaped emblem and blue&red color scheme. Lois gives the heroine the spear and tells her that she says she loves Clark. Wonder Woman nods and heads towards the direction of Superman.

Superman draws the monster out away from the city and is helped by Batman. Wonder Woman arrives with the spear. The final battles commences with Batman providing a distraction to lead the prototype away. Diana and Superman fight the beast but is soon overpowered. Clark takes the makeshift spear and goes off and manages to subdue the creature rather unwilling to kill it. However he gets blown up by a missile sent by the US military and everyone thinks he is dead.

To his he walks out of the smoke, banged up but alive, having narrowly escaped the blast. The monster has died, leaving Clark to wonders sadly if the monster could have been saved as it had no control over its actions. A relieved Lois embraces him as the other two supers look on in bittersweet triumph.

Several days later, the President, on the behest of the Helen Hunt Senator, gives Superman a full pardon. The world also starts to see rising of actual superheroes to take in the increase of villains having been inspired by the actions of the newly dubbed Trinity. The ending shows that long term exposure to Kryptonite left Lex without any hair, cementing his iconic look. He had also beem arrested and tried and ends up locked up at a mental institution on an insanity plea. His other henchmen & Tess are jailed and Luthor's company scrambles to do damage control. Bruce catches up to Clark and apologizes for being cold. They part ways on better terms before musing at the similarities between their alter egos. Diana teases that they make a great team and returns to the capital with her team. Bruce returns to Gotham and stops at the cemetery to place flowers on Jason Todd's grave, showing that he moved to the acceptance stage of grief. Jimmy also ends up getting a job as an intern for Daily Planet with Lois as his mentor this time. And Nicola goes to Gotham to work as a social worker and takes up a case: Cassandra Cain.

The final scene ends with Clark as Superman dressed up in Metropolis visiting a local orphanage/foster home, showing that at his core he truly does care about humanity despite all them haters. 👏👏 👏 happy ending everyone!!!

The movie ends with a montage of

- Cyborg walking around aimlessly in his hometown and finding a discarded newspaper highlighting the heroes' exploits and getting the idea to try becoming a hero himself

- Aquaman in his kingdom catching up with the surface world and becoming curious, and wonders about an alliance

- Barry standing in a hill in his city in costume. He grins and smiles, before pulling over his cowl and racing off

- And Lex, plotting an escape from his cell, suddenly sees a peculiarly tall guard looming over him. He makes a digging comment that the guard shrugs off. To his surprise the guard unlocks the cell and leads Lex out. Lex asks who the guard is; the guard slips off his disguises revealing a sapient Gorilla...Gorilla Grodd!

All This sets up a future plot point that wouldn't be explored until after Justice League where we're introduced to the cinematic LEGION OF DOOM!!! The prototype they fight is not doomsday but foreshadows the creation of Bizarro (who was one of the original members of the LoD).

With the actual Justice League movie we continue with the formation of the team through several subplots converging into one major story arc. The Helen Hunt Senator plays a huge role being their ally and influence on building the Hall of Justice. Plus more Brucola stuff because we need fun stuff in Batman, Tom King.

[rkxsungwoon-blog]

✦ — MGA4 EPISODE 7: SKILLS SHOWDOWN #4048: HA SUNGWOON TEAM FOREVER YOUNG: @irenerk, @haknyeonrk, @rkxsicheng, @rkdoyexn, @yccjungrk, @rkjhyun performance: stay - zedd / center distribution

somehow, despite everything, sungwoon waits for the results with hope in his chest. he doesn’t expect their team to win (though it would be nice), but he wants some acknowledgement for his personal growth, some indication that he’s been improving, that his hard work isn’t going to waste, that he deserves to still be here in the competition. sungwoon wants better than a fourth place finish once again, barely skating through to the next stage by the skin of his teeth. he wants to feel pride for once—in himself, in his team, in their performance—and walk away from this stage with his head held high.

but the announcement of the two teams in contention for last place crush any of the hopes he might have been nursing. they’re not dead last, which is some consolation, but sungwoon can barely breathe as the ceos give them feedback and move onto eliminations. the dancing was lacking, the dancing was a problem. surely that means sungwoon is the one who fucked up? everyone else on his team are fair dancers; he’s the only one who can’t—he should be the one going home, shouldn’t he? he’s holding his breath and trying to calm his racing nerves when the ceos state that there will be no eliminations this week.

sungwoon almost swears on national tv in shock, relief, and anger, but his emotions are short lived as the next challenge is announced. he’s cautiously optimistic; a skill challenge means he should be alright if he can sing, but since mnet is not that generous, they’ll be choosing their songs based on their ranking. the singing groups have ten spots in total, and sungwoon prays that at least one is free by the time he has to choose. please, just let me have this. just let me sing. just once.

maybe it’s fate playing a cruel joke on him, or maybe—and this is more likely—he’s just run out of whatever luck has brought him this far in the competition. when sungwoon looks at the list, he finds both singing groups completely full. the two (0)s mock him, burn into his brain like they’re spelling his doom. sungwoon’s breathing becomes shallow as he looks at the available songs, panic setting in. dancing or rap—neither are his skills. he can’t showcase anything in either of these groups except his own ineptitude.

he swallows and finally picks stay. the song isn’t his kind of thing, but that hardly matters. it seems like the kind of song jei would do well with, and sungwoon hopes he’ll see her on the team. the only time he felt somewhat confident in his dancing abilities was with team dynamiq, and that was in large part because of jei and her support. with her, he thinks he can perhaps survive this. the staff members tell him to keep his pick a secret until the episode airs. sungwoon complies and heads home after that, hoping he didn’t make a poor decision, hoping that this week won’t be as bad as he thinks it will.

all he can do now is wait.

he’s no longer excited to visit the nova building, each step filled with trepidation as he makes his way to the practice room. sungwoon’s heart sinks further as he meets the rest of his teammates: rose, doyeon, yoojung, sicheng, and haknyeon. aside from rose, he hasn’t worked with any of them before, but he knows they’re all skilled dancers. for the most part, they seem to be okay with being here, probably because they’re looking forward to showcase their dancing skills. even if this wasn’t the song they perhaps wanted, he believes they’ll do fine. this is their area of expertise.

sungwoon, on the other hand, feels like a fish out of water. it’s one thing to know you’re going to be forced to do something you have no confidence in. it’s another to realize you are the only person in a group of six others who—can’t do it. the weak link, the one who could potentially screw up the entire performance. he takes in the looks of surprise and shock thrown his way with a stoic expression, refusing to betray his own distaste for this nightmare situation. truthfully, his regrets run deeper than just for himself; he’s sorry towards the rest of the team too. sungwoon doubts they want someone like him to be bringing the whole performance down, especially not so close to the end of the show.

when introductions roll around, all he can offer is his name, contestant number, and an apologetic smile. no promises of “i’ll work hard” or “i’ll do my best” or, god forbid, “i won’t let you down.” words are just words. he doesn’t want to make promises he can’t keep. sungwoon doesn’t know how much hard work or his best will matter in the end, anyway, and he seems to have gotten in the habit of letting people down.

it’s decided that rose and sicheng are going to work on the choreography for this round. sungwoon can’t offer any input or suggestions, so he mostly stays out of their way while they’re figuring things out. as a group, they pre-record the vocals for their stage pretty early on as well, and here sungwoon finally feels like he’s in his element. here, he finally feels free; his spirits sour as he pours every ounce of frustration, desperation, and longing he can into his voice. this recording won’t count for anything in the end, just a background piece to their actual choreography, but to sungwoon, it means everything.

at least in some small way, his voice will be heard.

practices kick off in earnest not long after. the choreography is unlike anything sungwoon’s had to do before; it’s elegant and graceful and smooth, so many things he’s just not sure he can overcome. despite his best efforts not to let his mood sink, with every mistake, every wrong move, every moment off beat, he finds himself growing increasingly angry at himself. he’s gone over the choreography so many times in his head, with rose and the others, by himself, and he just can’t seem to nail it down.

he feels like everyone is looking at him with pity and disgust in their eyes. why do we have to be with him? sungwoon wouldn’t blame them if they resented him for being here. he resents himself for not doing enough to avoid this, for not being better. it gets too much; the feeling bubbling up his chest threatens to choke him. the practice room feels too cramped, too small, too hot for sungwoon to handle and he slips out the minute practice is over, seeking fresh air. seeking some kind of escape from his own failures.

(he doesn’t find whatever he’s searching for).  

sungwoon returns to practice. avoiding the issue isn’t going to solve anything, things are the same as before.it’s still hard to shake off the sense of hopeless sungwoon feels; it settles into his bones and makes his movements unnecessarily heavy and clumsy when he tries to keep up with the rest of his team. this isn’t choreography he can overcome with the force of his vocals or his charisma, it’s just—it’s just, and that’s the main problem. he’s trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and it’s not working. he doesn’t even know why the fuck he’s trying so hard.

no matter how much he wants to just give up and stop, he can’t. jonghyun is there to support him during the week, sticking next to sungwoon from day one whenever he takes extended breaks to try and clear his head. jonghyun is determined not to let sungwoon avoid the practice and the reality of their performance. he appreciates the kick in the ass and jonghyun’s support, though he can’t help but think that the boy would be better off just focusing on himself. they’re not really functioning as a team this week—no leaders, no reason to be helpful, no reason to care—but everyone else still seems determined to get through this together, sharing friendship and smiles in between the tense moments in practice.

and sungwoon wishes he could join in. he wishes he could just get out of his own head and enjoy this instead of drowning in stress. he wishes that he could accept his team’s—his friends’—help when it’s offered. he wishes he could believe people when they say he’s doing well, or that he’s improving, or that he can do this, but it all rings false in his ears.

even haknyeon’s gift of a tangerine and some encouraging words barely cheer him up, though he does crack a smile and say, “thanks for the orange,” before he leaves (and accidentally squirts some fucking citrus juice in his eye when he tries to eat it). everyone is too nice, too caring, and that’s the main reason sungwoon doesn’t walk out. he doesn’t want to let them down—isn’t it bad enough that they have to work around him? he’s not going to half-ass this and make them suffer more (though maybe they’d benefit more from his absence; who knows?)

when he’s feeling his lowest, his grandfather talks some sense into him. his words give sungwoon… not a renewed sense of purpose or even confidence, but it helps him put things into perspective. all he can do is see this week through and… well, when he’s done here, he can rest. but first: he has to get to the end.

sungwoon shows up to practice early the next day and focuses on nailing the moves down the best he can. when he falls, he gets right back up with gritted teeth. sungwoon doesn’t have lofty goals this time around; he just wants… he just wants to complete this. he doesn’t want anyone to watch him this week and say he deserves to go home because didn’t do all that he could. sungwoon isn’t a quitter, a coward, or someone who doesn’t give his all for everything he does. the fact is, at the end of the day, no one is going to care what he did and didn’t want. no one is going to give a shit about whether it was difficult for him or what he had to overcome this week.

all they’ll care about is what they see on stage.

so he’ll give them something to look at.

the staff pulls them aside for interviews and once they all return, rose suggests they talk about their feelings. sungwoon isn’t the only one who’s been… for the lack of a better word, down all week. other people are struggling too, and the whole mood of the group is somber for the most part. yoojung, notably, is a little quieter than the rest, and then there’s doyeon who struggled and fell during practice the other day. maybe it would be good for them to air out their concerns and grievances—objectively, of course.

truthfully, sungwoon doesn’t want to participate himself; he has a hard enough time trying to open up to people he knows, let alone complete strangers. he intends to just sit and listen to everyone’s concerns, sure they’re going to be far, far different from his own.

and sure enough, jonghyun starts with uplifting words for him, and sungwoon even manages a smile back at the younger man, but he thinks that jonghyun just doesn’t get it. doyeon is next with haknyeon following later, and while sungwoon genuinely feels for them, there’s a hollow space in his chest that says, they don’t get it either. rose and sicheng have different worries, and this sungwoon can relate to—the weight of responsibility is hard to carry, especially for a performance like this. he can only offer platitudes though, assurances that their choreography is good. it’s not the dance. the dance is great.

sungwoon doesn’t intend to speak, but he feels like it would dumb of him not to say anything. and looking at the relief on everyone’s faces after saying their pieces, he feels like he ought to contribute. maybe just take this moment to be honest for once. “i guess i’ll go next,” he says awkwardly, raising a hand. “uh, as many of you probably guessed, this group wasn’t my first choice. i only picked this song because all the positions for the singing group were taken and, uh, i guess the title just resonated with me. stay.” chuckling, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“i’ve… struggled all week because i feel like this will be my final performance.” putting what he’s come to terms with into words is surprisingly difficult. the act of saying it out loud makes it more real somehow, and sungwoon feels himself choking up. “i’m not a dancer and i don’t think i ever will be. this past week, i’ve spent way too much time feeling sorry for myself and not enough time trying to adapt to the situation. i’ve probably been a bummer to be around, huh?” sungwoon is self aware enough to realize that he hasn’t been his usual mood-maker self.

“but i… i mean, every time i try to convince myself that i can do this or i’ll be okay, i realize that i’m light years behind where i should be to even take the stage. i’m scared that me being up there will backfire, not just on me on the rest of you guys too.” swallowing, he looks down and sighs. “so i’ve been trying, but the past few weeks have taught me that it’s not enough to just try. but i’m still foolishly running full speed ahead, and i don’t know what that makes me: stupid, or optimistic? i don’t have to have expectations because i don’t want to be disappointed, but i don’t want to… give up either.” this is as much as he wants to say. there’s more—so much more—but sungwoon feels shitty enough just admitting this much.

shaking his head, he tries to end on a more positive note. “i truly appreciate all the help and support you guys have given me this week,” he says, looking at each and every one of them. “and if there’s one good thing that came out of all this, it was the opportunity to work with you guys.”

“so: thank you.” standing up, sungwoon bows at the waist and holds the pose for a few seconds before sitting back down. “i hope all of you go through this week, and i will support you till the end of the competition.”

yoojung rounds off their honesty circle, and her words hit sungwoon like a ton of bricks. the things he’s been holding inside—she articulates them perfectly. it’s almost a relief to hear that someone else has the same worries and insecurities as him, even though he wishes she didn’t have to feel that way. still, he does feel a little lighter with things out in the open. everyone on their team had too much bottled up. with some release, he hopes they find peace.

the rest of the week is less heavy, less morose, though the practices are as intense as ever. sungwoon even brings in stolen pastries from work one day, and though they only last like one bite per person, they have haknyeon’s tangerines and rose’s cookies to round things off (sungwoon does claim a dramatic “death by tangerines” when haknyeon offers him another one, and his laugh after that is the first genuine one of the week. and—he’s missed this. laughing, having fun, not worrying about impending doom).

the final night, he doesn’t have much to say, except, “i hope we stay.” sungwoon hopes his teammates stay. he believes—no, he knows—that they have the skills to.

himself? he’s less sure he’ll make it through. he’s definitely not sure if he deserves (wants) to.

performance day comes too soon.

he’s jittery and it’s not just because of the caffeine. the nausea isn’t entirely his americano’s fault either. sungwoon was never going to be calm going into this, but this is a little extreme even for him. his hands shake as he waits backstage with the rest of his team. they look like a solid, cohesive unit, dressed in black and white for this performance to keep things classy. they also have a choker around their neck, what sungwoon playfully called a ‘leash’ backstage; it’s part of the choreography and he tries not to fiddle with it while they wait. “hey haknyeon, i could really use a tangerine now,” sungwoon jokes, nudging the younger boy to diffuse some of the tension.

it’s… painful to watch the other performances, especially the singing groups. some of these contestants would’ve done fine in dancing groups too, and maybe that is what hurts the most. he’s shocked to see that jinsoul isn’t in either of the vocal groups and prays that her week was a lot easier than his own. she’s someone who really deserved the chance to showcase her talent.

before long, it’s their turn to take the stage as team forever young. sungwoon shouts out the greeting with the rest of them, his expression full of confidence he doesn’t actually possess. it’s bravado, plain and simple, mixed in with a little bit of bullshit, but people tell you to fake it till you make it for a reason. once the introductions are over, he wipes his clammy palms on his pants and gets into formation with the rest of the team.

the choreography is beautiful. rose and sicheng should be commended for it. sungwoon may know nothing about dance, but he can recognize a good stage when he sees it. their outfits give the illusion of more grace, of lighter movements, and of smoother transitions. on people like rose, doyeon, yoojung, jonghyun, haknyeon, and sicheng, the effect is breathtaking. sungwoon is… clumsier, his movements lacking the easy flow of the others. he’s a lot more stiff despite his best efforts, and his inexperience and discomfort with the style of dance shows.

still, sungwoon powers through, putting more emphasis on his expressions and working with the camera. when it’s his turn to take centre, he lipsyncs along with the song, channeling a sort of sensual arrogance as he dances, tossing a smirk at the camera before moving into position with rose. he’s sweating, his heart beating fast, but sungwoon doesn’t stop, doesn’t let himself relax for a second as he dances.

living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola underneath the rising sun

then comes one of their killing points, the part that involves their chokers. a playful smile dances on sungwoon’s lips as he follows through, giving the illusion that he’s truly enjoying himself up there. and maybe if the circumstances were different, if the stakes weren’t so goddamn high, he would have. but all he can think about is the pressure. not only the pressure he put on himself, but the pressure he feels to not let his team down, to not let rose and sicheng’s choreography down.

the floorwork is the hardest part of the performance, in sungwoon’s opinion. he’s nowhere near the front, so his struggles are, for the most part, hidden from the audience. still, he’s a beat too late getting back inTo formation with the rest and it shows. he keeps his expression smooth and unperturbed by his mistake, but sungwoon knows it won’t be one easily forgiven. for a second there, they were out of sync as a group because he was slow. sungwoon wants to scream, but there’s no time for that. just as quickly, he’s in the center again while the others are on their knees.

all you have to do is stay

breathing hard, he fights to maintain his position and his expression as the song fades off. sweat drips down his back as he follows the rest of the team off the stage, unable to process what just happened. he fucked up. he fucked up. badly enough for it to be noticed, badly enough for it to matter. the only consolation sungwoon has is that they won’t be judged as a group, so the rest won’t be dragged down by his mistake. it’s… not much to hold onto, but sungwoon clings to it anyway. all you have to do is stay, he thinks, looking at all of them. please stay.

“i—” he swallows and licks his lips. sungwoon wants to say this one thing. “i’m proud of everyone, and believe me when i say you guys all deserve to be here. i hope the ceos can see that too. all you have to do is stay, right?” he finishes with a grin and slings an arm around jonghyun’s shoulders, acting a lot more nonchalant than he feels inside. but this is the only way sungwoon can cope right now, to focus on others before himself. “team forever young, forever.”