#i probably wont cramp but it just kinda sucks

[junkie-virus]

woagh weird ass tree

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Omg I read that shit so fast I loved it. “A Bad Day” is SO GOOD!!!!??? Uhg omg how do you do it??? The way you describe his stomach bug is just too good. That aching cramping pain is so accurate for that kinda sickness. I haven’t had a stomach bug in years but I still remember that gross pain that turns into even grosser nausea. The worst. Poor Cyno 😭 I love him.

the cleaning up STRUGGLE!!!! Seeing this fic come to life after talking about this idea so much is so so wonderful. But omg he’s going through it!! It must suck so bad to feel that much pain and to have such a sick belly and be forced to clean all that up. I love how his embarrassment gets him even when he is alone? It’s such a testament to how much he *hates* throwing up in the ‘wrong’ place. I like to think his emotional ness kicks up extra when he’s panicked and embarrassed too but it doesn’t help that he felt so sick. Also also the detail of Tighnari catch that his stomach was bloated???? A damn good detail!! Cuz it’s like that sometimes and I love that nari is like yeah…no I don’t think this is gonna be good for you.

Cyno was so sweet and so clingy at the end he just needed nari and I 🙈🙈🙈

I’m such a happy camper, I’ve already decided I’m gonna do some drawing (some for heizou and I think some of the stuff from the hair headcanon convo- all the things) and while I won’t say when I’ll have stuff cuz we are team no stress there’s no way I WONT want to pay homage to these fics. What can I say a happy camper! ☺️

one day I’ll leave an ask that isn’t a book…one day

AAAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I AM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED IT!! It didn't quite reach the expectations I had for it in my head, so I'm really really happy to hear this!!

It is the absolute worst, I feel so bad for putting poor Cyno through it. (Do I really? 10/10 would do it to him again)

Yes, yes, yes! I've fantasized about this so much, I'm so happy to have finally brought it to life! Cyno really just went through it, he was sick and humiliated and just not having a good time at all. He really needed his Nari there, though he probably also would've struggled to ever live that down if Tighnari was there to see it 😭 Our poor boy!

And yes, we absolutely love observant Tighnari. So quick to catch on when something's wrong, and also quick to see the signs when something is going to get a whole lot worse. Cyno's gonna learn that he has to trust Tighnari's judgement in a situation like this

Thank you SO much again! I am sooo excited at the prospect of fanart to come! Absolutely like you said, no stress here, take all the time in the world! I'll be excitedly looking forward to it!!

Also never apologise for sending long asks! When I see long ask like this, I always get so giddy with excitement because "omg, somebody enjoyed my writing!"

[emeto-things]

Hi im kinda freaking out right now, im pretty sure i got food poisoning from a sandwich i ate earlier, and ive been having some pretty miserable cramps and d*. It sucks but for the most part i can handle that sort of thing. Whats freaking me out is im sitting on the toilet rn, in pain, and kind of uncontrollably shaking and i keep getting really afraid its gonna escalate, like now and then the feelings in my stomach start to change, and i start to salivate more, and i get really scared. Im trying my best to hold it together and let it pass but im really struggling. I know this probably wont get a response right away, but i just need to vent about it so that maybe itll help me calm down. Im just feeling very lonely and afraid right now.

I'm so sorry, I hope you feel better!!! Please take something like Pepto and stay hydrated. Good luck, sending positive healing vibes your way! -Kaitlyn

[bibbawrites]

Counting 1, 2, 3 - Luke Patterson x Carrie Wilson x Reader (18+) (Modern!AU)

Request: nothing in particular but its been a long time coming 

Word Count: 848 words

Summary: When Carrie convinced you to go see her brother’s band play you never knew you would end up sleeping with your best friend and the lead singer, but boy are you glad it happened

Warnings: swearing, semi public blow job, implied sex, threesome 

A/N: this is probably the worst thing ive ever written, i just could not get myself to write it, so i apologise for how shit it is, but i just havent posted anything for so long i felt guilty so heres this :)

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @herbrutals @youngbloodblog @courageous-she @littlemissaddict @gloomybrieyxb @itsyagorlemmalyn @jatpxmultifan @moneybagmgk @emeliii1 @mybradforddream @lovesanimals (the strike through means it wont let me tag you)

It had all started when Carrie had invited you to see her twin brother Bobby and his band play a gig at a local bar. You had been hesitant to go but went along to support your best friend’s brother. 

If you had known that the night would end with you hooking up with your best friend and the lead singer of Bobby’s band, then you probably would have worn nicer underwear. 

- 

You weren’t even sure how it had happened. One minute you were at the bar, flirting with the lead singer, Luke he had said his name was, and the next you were locking yourselves in a toilet cubical, thankful for the fact that the bar had unisex toilets with floor to ceiling walls and doors on the stalls. 

Luke’s lips were everywhere, his hips grinding against yours as you ran your hands through his hair, not even caring about someone catching you. All you could care about was the singer. 

You pushed Luke away, pulling your dress down to reveal your naked breasts, thankful that your dress had included a built in bra. Luke’s eyes lit up, his lips instantly attaching themselves to one of your nipples, causing you to moan loudly. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, while your hands roamed his body underneath his sleeveless shirt. His hands rested on your hips, pushing your dress up to reveal your panties. 

“Can you take this off?” He questioned, fingers brushing against your panties. You smirked. 

“Only if you take yours off too.” You teased, and he grinned, pulling his pants down to reveal his hard dick. You wrapped a hand around him, jerking a couple of times, enjoying the gasp he let out. He pulled you back in, connecting your lips again, and you were so distracted you didn’t even hear the door opening. 

“Y/N, are you in here?” Carrie’s voice called, and you froze, eyes widening. 

“What do we do?” Luke whispered. You signaled for him to be quiet. 

“Y/N?” Carrie called again. “I know you came in here.” 

You bit your lip, remembering the code you and Carrie had come up with for when you wanted to subtly let the other know you were hooking up with someone. 

“Watermelon.” You said, just loud enough that you knew she would be able to hear. 

“Watermel- oh...” She trailed off, clearly understanding. Then after a pause, she spoke again. “Can I join?” 

Before you could even react Luke was unlocking the door and pulling Carrie in, locking the door again behind her. Her eyes widened as she took in the other occupant of the cubical. 

“Oh no.” She said quickly. “My brother would kill me if I hooked up with his bandmate.” 

“What Bobby doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Luke’s voice was low, pulling Carrie close to him, and with a small nod of consent from Carrie, the guitarist was connecting their lips in a passionate kiss. 

“It’s kinda cramped now.” You observed. Carrie and Luke broke their kiss, both focusing on you. 

“We’ll improvise.” Luke decided, his gaze flicking between you and Carrie. “Do you hook up with people together often?” 

“More often than you’d think.” You giggled. “And sometimes just the two of us.” 

“Fuck.” Luke whispered. You glanced towards Carrie, eyes scanning her body. 

“I think you’re a bit too dressed baby.” You said softly, and she gave you a cheeky grin before stripping off her bralette and hiking up her skirt so that she had the same amount of skin on show as you did. Not wanting to be left out, Luke pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it onto the closed toilet lid. Carrie reached across, placing her bralette on top of his shirt, and a comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you tried to decide who would make the next move. 

In the end it was you, dropping to your knees and taking Luke’s dick into your mouth, tongue lapping at the tip. He moaned loudly before Carrie pulled him into a rough kiss, swallowing his moans as you continued to suck him off. 

You took a deep breath before shifting to allow him to slide further into your mouth and down your throat, breathing through your nose to stop from gagging as he thrusted into your throat. 

“God Y/N.” He gasped. 

You hummed, feeling his dick twitch in your mouth at the vibration, and Luke swore loudly. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He gasped out. You deep throated him again, a hand coming up to cup his balls, and swallowed when he came down your throat a few moments later. 

You pulled off his dick, letting him drag you up into a rough kiss, and watching as Carrie kissed you, licking into your mouth to taste his cum. 

“We should take this back to my place.” You mumbled after you and Carrie separated. “My parent’s aren’t home.” 

Luke and Carrie were quick to agree and in only a few minutes you were sneaking out of the bar, knowing that the night was far from over. 

[bitchiha]

I just found your blog, and I love it already. Can I request relationship hc for Kankuro and Darui(if you write him)?

✎ Relationship HC’s (Kankuro, Darui)

A/N: so I’m proud I actually managed to whip a post out lol, also Kank and Darui are some of my fav characters and I’m sad I haven’t written much for either of them... anyways, enjoy and thank you for requesting this, wonderful anon!

Kankurou

So we can just jump straight into it here: you’re gonna have to put up with all the puppets. Like when you come over to his apartment for the first time you probably have 5 mini heart attacks. You’re shrieking around every corner you turn because there is always damn puppet there waiting for you. Sometimes it’s not even a full puppet, just a puppet limb. This continues to scare the shit out of you when you move eventually move in too. Like it’s something you cannot escape.

Yes, he does have a work room, but his work is not limited to that room (that’s what he’ll sassily tell you as he picks up the puppet you flung across the room because it basically jump scared you.) However.. Little by little you notice that he starts to leave less and less puppet parts around the house, which is really touching because Kank can be stubborn as fuck sometimes.

Also, he loves when you come over and sit on his lap while he works on one of his puppets; bonus if you let him blab about them. Honestly you don’t have to even listen, just make it look like you are. Let your hands play with his hair as you nod along whenever he pauses his sentence, knowing it’s a cue for a little response from you.

One of the scariest things you’ll have to deal with in the relationship is when Kankurou casually has conversations with his puppets. Like one night you came home a little late from work and you heard your boyfriend talking in a hushed tone and you’re like?? Who’s he talking to?? Figured it was Gaara because let’s be real.. Kank does not have a side hoe, he cannot get a side hoe, even if he wanted. So anyway.. You didn’t want to bother him, so you just quietly walk into the work room to peek inside, only to find Kank talking to one of his puppets. He notices you at the door and stops mid conversation and clears his throat, but it’s too late, you’ve already heard him.

“Kank.. babe.. we’re you talking to your puppet just now?” He just stares at you sheepishly, but the puppets still perched on his lap nonetheless, “... There’s no point in me denying it is there?”

He’s kinda shitty at gift giving on special occasions. Like he is just is so fucking bad that you’ve accepted the fact that your birthday gift will be a teddy bear like every single year. But he makes up for it with the random gifts he gives you throughout the year. Like if you’ve been away for a long time you always come home to some sort of cute little puppet waiting for you. He’s made one of your favourite animal, favourite anime character, mini versions of his own puppets, etc. At this point in the relationship you’re starting to get used to the puppets, so you end up keeping them on a shelf in your room. He always gets so giddy when he comes to your place and sees them displayed like that. And loves it even more when you keep them displayed after you move in together.

Sorry sweetheart, but if you do not like his siblings.. NEXT CALLER. Bye. He’s ending the relationship right there. But if you get along with them his heart melts, especially if you and Gaara become friends. Or like if you can remotely handle Gaara pre chunin exams. Yah will do it. He’s head over heels for you. You’re both protective mama bears now and will keep Temari and Gaara safe with your lives and vice versa.

Badass fighting duo. If anyone wants to fuck with Gaara or Temari you two are gonna fuck shit up to say the least. But even on missions too, like you guys can read eachother perfectly and even if you were bickering before the battle starts — all the tension goes out the window and you’re focused on the problem at hand. You can go back to flaming eachother afterwards. Just a little side note: he loves showing off his puppet skills. So don’t be surprised if he calls out “y/n! Babe! Y/n! Over here — This is how the Ant looks in action.” Then he proceeds to iron maiden the victim. Give him a thumbs up and congratulate him please. Even if it’s kinda a very graphic scene.

Kinda fucks with PDA tbh, like he tones it down once Gaara becomes Kazekage because he needs to keep up a respectable image, but still does light PDA. Pre Kazekage Gaara, he would suck your face off anywhere. But when Gaara becomes Kage, he just gives you quick kisses instead. Doesn’t go for handholding a lot, prefers having an arm around your shoulders or around your waist. Slaps your ass too, if there isn’t a lot of people around and he can get away with it. If you wanna make him jealous though, all that composure goes out the window.

KISS HIS HANDS. LOVE HIS HANDS. When you’re at home and you two are cuddling, run your thumb lightly over his knuckles, over his calloused palms, kiss the pads of his fingers... it just makes him so soft lol. Like kiss the scars of blisters or scratches from his work tools and he’s putty in your hands girl.

I’m 100% sure that Kank can handle a moody / bratty s/o. Like you’ve got a little spice? He can take that. Afterall, he handled little moody pre teen Gaara before, I’m sure he can handle you. Doesn’t mean he isn’t stubborn though, he won’t let you win arguments. Which is a problem if you’re stubborn too. You will argue for hours and wont even remember what you were arguing about to begin with, then one of you’ll have to be like: pause the music.. what were we even mad about? Neither of you can remember and you’ll just shrug it off and go out for ramen or something like nothing happened.

If you don’t already have somewhat of a thick skin when you start dating Kankurō, you will eventually form one. If not, shits not gonna work out. Like he’s just a teasing person and he likes to have little roast sessions, they just entertain him. He hardly ever oversteps himself when it comes to the banter, but if he does he’s kinda oblivious. If you start crying though he’ll feel so bad, like it was just mindless teasing he didn’t mean to make you cry. Will remember what made you react like that and won’t ever mention it again.

I think he also tells the best stories. Like he just has the best expressions and voice for it. Not to mention having a jinchuuriki and Kazekage as his brother; he’s experienced some crazy shit. He mindlessly babbles them out to you whenever something reminds him of that particular time. Like if he sees a person walking their dog, it brings him back to the time when he defended kiba against one of the Sound Four. Then boom. He just randomly blurts out the story as you two are walking.

Kankurou is a surprisingly good cuddler. He always wants to be the big spoon and likes to pull you close to his chest and sling his arm around you lazily when you’re watching tv together . He’s constantly getting his hands tangled in your hair because he loves to play with it. Sometimes if you fall asleep while he’s cuddling you, you’ll wake up two French braids or something. Honestly, you’ll be shocked at how he managed to do that at first, but let’s be real he probably styles his puppets hair in his free time.

Overall an entertaining s/o, I would reccomend.

Darui

Oh boyyyyyy... Where do I start with this guy? He’s such an amazing hype man. Like Darui is so fucking flattered that he managed to score such a smart and gorgeous person that he will never let you forget it. He swings you compliments all the time and they don’t even sound overbearing from him because he’s just that cool. Even the way he compliments you is cool. Don’t forget to compliment him too though.... pls be eachothers hype men.

He’s also the loyalist man you will ever meet — we see what he’s like with the Raikage, you can’t tell me otherwise. Like once the two of you are officially dating he is committed 100% to you and will do anything for you. So do not mistake his laid back demeanour for laziness because when it comes to your relationship he is ready to do whatever you want. You want a certain flavour of ice cream, but the store ran out? He will go to every single grocery store in the village to find you that flavour for you. His s/o deserves the best and if they can’t have their favourite ice cream then he won’t rest till they do. Literally. Sometimes you have to go out and find him and tell him it’s okay and that he can come home, you don’t need that flavour that badly.

Handles periods the best too. Like he’s actually mature about it for the most part. Will 100% go out and buy you tampons or pads because like I said, he will do whatever you want. He’s also practically a human heater so he will lay down with you and cuddle you to help relieve some of the cramp pains. Can figure out when you’re PMSing too and will handle it well too. Like you’re literally just spazzing out in the middle of the kitchen and you’re yelling about something that happened 2 years ago, he he just pulls you into a hug and holds you there until your anger dies down a little bit, then he picks you up and tucks you into bed. Idk how it works, but it does. Every single time.

When it comes to gift giving he’s so subtle about it. Like he isn’t the type to do something extravagant and flashy for his s/o, but his gifts are still so thoughtful and considerate that you can’t help but blush at them. He’s observant and he notices the things you like, what you talk about more than other things, etc. He takes all that into account when he wants to buy you a gift and every year he never fails to melt your heart. It also makes him super giddy when he sees you wearing / displaying his gifts in your room or something. He is always so insecure when he actually hands you the gift though, but the look of joy on your face instantly washes his hesitance away.

Honestly you two are the coolest couple in the whole Cloud, like you’re just such a badass duo. Omoi and Karui love you two, Killer Bee loves you two, Cee and the Raikage too. It’s kind of funny just how invested the Raikage is, though. Definitely cries hysterically if you and Darui get into a fight, hes all like “no! You two are meant to be, this can’t be happening!” And Darui is like... sir it was a minor fight, we’re still together... Killer Bee has also definitely made a rap about you two or at least used you two for a line in his rap. It was pretty garbage, but it’s the thought that counts; plus you guys are so cool that the rap just automatically becomes cool too.

Darui constantly apologizes for things that aren’t his fault. You learn to get used to it, but it’s a little confusing at first. One night he came to your apartment all depressed looking and he’s like “y/n, I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you this now.” And you think his ass is cheating on you or something because of how solemn he looks so you’re bracing yourself for the worst, when in reality he just wants to postpone your date an hour or two because he has to help the Raikage with something. You just stare at him for a good five minutes because wtf why didn’t he just call you? Like why does he look so distressed over something as minor as that??

Your fights don’t last very long at all. He’s a reasonable and understanding person, so he doesn’t initiate fights very often. I feel like you guys only really fight when it comes down to spending too much time apart. Like he’s been too busy with being the Raikages second hand man and you’ve been occupied with missions and your own business, you two just miss each other and kind of end up getting frustrated with each other and eventually you guys snap. Like you can’t make the date on Friday and want to re schedule, but Friday’s the only day he can make it. Cue snappy comments and one of you hanging up the phone on the other. Daruis always the first one to apologize though, go figure.

You guys are also another badass duo when it comes to fighting, like he’s super observant of you and he knows your next move before you know it. If you’re a bit on the impulsive side he’ll lowkey get frustrated because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when it’s something he can prevent. Especially if you’re fighting together, like he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Like you will never stop hearing him apologize if you get injured when he could have prevented it. You constantly have to shut him up lol.

Honestly playing with his hair is the best, he actually likes when you try and take care of it too. Even if it doesn’t work out all the time because you can’t really tame it, he loves the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp anyway. So he’ll let you have your fun, but only you can touch it. His hair just feels so fucking nice too, like you have to refrain yourself from running your hands through his hair randomly. You definitely fluff it sometimes though.

He likes to be the big spoon when you two cuddle, but he doesn’t mind being the little one sometimes — only if you play with his hair though. Like just start running your hands through his hair and he’ll pass out just like that. Really likes when you lay your head on his chest and you just kind of sprawl yourself ontop of him. Sometimes he does that to you instead, especially after a long mission where he hasn’t seen you for a long time. He just lays his head on your chest and loves the feeling of your chest rising and falling gently as you sleep.

He is not that into pda, will wrap an arm around you or give you his jacket when you’re cold, but does not make out with you in public. If he’s feeling needy then he will simply pull you into an alley and kiss you there, but he’s pretty good at controlling himself and hardly ever needs to do that. Gives you occasional kisses on the cheek though, but absolutely no touching around the Raikage. Even if the Raikage literally doesn’t care. Darui just thinks it’s uncool.

You guys have super chill dates. Like just going out to dinner or hanging out at each others houses. The best dates are the spontaneous ones. Darui doesn’t do them all that often, but whenever there’s like a thunderstorm or a rainstorm outside, he will run to your place and you two will watch it together. Like just perch yourselves on the windowsill with a bunch of blankets and some snacks and you’re good to go. It’s kinda dangerous but both of your definitely fall asleep on the windowsill.

10/10 overall. Darui is so fucking cool he owns my ass.

[startingtodayyouareahost]

Hosts helping their s/o with their period? I’m having bad cramps and nausea rn 😓

Ok, you have great timing because i was going to write something like this as i also have EXTREMELY painful period times. so i got you covered

Haruhi

Knows what its like and has all the essentials in her house at all times. if you like a hot pack or tea, just about any trick in the book she probably has it. she wont dote on you but she will help you. you always feel better after a kiss on the forehead. she leaves those have checking in on you.

Tamaki

he doesn’t like that your in pain and while he doesn’t know much when it comes to periods he knows they suck. On that note he will absolutely dote on you hand and foot. he would even ask the maids to teach him tricks of the trade so he can best serve his princess. you also have the best bath oils. and i mean the best!

Kyoya

if he comes back to his house and finds you curled up in a burrito on his bed, he has a good idea on whats going on. in this particular case you claim his bed is magic and you always feel good being in it during these times.he says its because he has a good mattress, you say its because it smells like him. he doesn’t argue. he will sit on his laptop next to you just for extra comfort. 

Hikaru

he actually gets really nervous because he heard stories about the “moods” we go into during periods. so when you kinda just curl up and cry in pain he didn’t know what to do at first. you actually felt worse when he just left and cried till you fell asleep. when you woke up there was sweets next to your bed and a lavender teddy bear heat pack to cuddle. it became your favorite thing. 

Kaoru

BEST BOI IS BEST BOI. he is on top of getting you what you want/need. hes on point! you want cuddles? he’s got ya! you want food? look! he has a snack bag! your in pain? various pills in his bag for you to pick from. he almost becomes to mom friend. he has everything in his bag and your pretty sure its an endless void bag. 

Honey

he has a bunch of heat pack stuffed animals just for you to pick from. hes also more on point of your periods then you are. he actually tracks them… like to the day. hes “battle ready” and makes sure to have all your favorite things stocked before hand. if you stay home from school he’ll use bringing your homework to you as an excuse to see you. 

Mori

will pick you up and cuddle you. hes so much bigger then you and i have this head cannon that he’s like a walking furnace so hes always warm.  if you’re curled up in bed, or on the couch when he visits you he wont waste time. he’ll scoop you up and settle somewhere with a book in his other hand. no mater how hot it is outside it helps with any sort of pain/ nausea. 

[newenglandpups]

Hi

I need to rant because I’m tired and frustrated and stressed and on the verge of a panic attack so I’m hoping if I get all this out I wont actually have one ok? 

I hate living here so much. We’ve hit full blown rainy season and I feel like I’m already noticing SAD symptoms already and it’s only been like a week. I hate our house. It feels tiny and cramped and claustrophobic. It’s so narrow that I don’t have any good space to train my own dogs in and now with it fucking raining every day, I can no longer cart all my crap around to various parks because ya know we don’t have a yard either so like I’m kinda stuck.

I’m also super frustrated with work right now. If you hadn’t heard yet I’m losing my job. Basically my boss says that with the cost of insurance and business licensing and rental fees, plus paying my commission, she’s actually losing money right now. So with that in mind and the fact that I’m going to be moving (eventually... more on that later) it doesn’t make sense for her to keep it running. Now there’s been some sketchiness before so I don’t full on believe her, but basically it means that I won’t make that much money working for myself because I’ll have to pay for all the insurance and licenses and rentals myself. But I won’t be paying anyone commission, but it does mean that I’ll essentially be making the same amount of money I’m making now. Which isn’t bad, but it’s not great. 

OH OH OH and speaking of sketchiness with my boss, last weekend was a fucking shit show. I have four classes back to back on Saturday- like literally I have 15 minutes between classes and I always have people that show up early or want to chat after class, meaning I barely have time to fucking pee or do anything besides jump from class to class. So like there’s that, but THEN. Omg. Okay so last Saturday was week 3 of all those classes (a puppy class, obedience, and two reactive rover classes). The puppy class is insanely over booked (because my boss sucks at her job), I have 10 puppies every week. We weren’t supposed to be allowing drop ins because there’s already too many puppies, but again because my boss fucking sucks at her job, last week I had THREE DROP INS. 13 goddamn puppies! OH OH OH OH AND AND AND the cut off age for puppy class is supposed to be 16 weeks. I have puppies in this class that are now fucking six months old. Unacceptable. And I literally cannot be blamed for that, because my boss did this to me. How? BECAUSE SHE SUUUUUUUUCKS. So, anyway, back to the shitshow last weekend. So the first week of class this older guy shows up with some fucking doodley thing puppy. He’s not on my list, meaning he hasn’t paid, but he’s sure his wife had paid, so because my boss suuuuuuucks I think she probably just forgot to add him and let him stay. Emailed my boss afterwards and sure enough, she apologizes and says that they were one of the first to sign up and she doesn’t know how they never got added to my client list. Uh huh. They don’t show up the second week (sent me an email, both were sick) but they show up again last weekend, this time husband and wife. Wife asks me about paying for the classes.... because she said she never paid. So I let them stay (because I can’t say no and also was dealing with the second part of this shitshow which I’ll explain in a second) and email my boss asking wtf is going on. Did she get payment from them or not? [Reminder: I MAKE COMMISSION so this is money that I’m literally losing right now.] She tries to FUCKING CALL ME while I’m teaching class. Hell. No. Girl. So I text her saying, “I don’t have time to talk with classes back to back all day, I will email you about this when I get home.” Which I do, she says she’s sorry and doesn’t know what happened and will sort it out with them so I don’t have to worry about it. It’s now Thursday. I emailed her yesterday to confirm whether this was dealt with. Haven’t heard back yet. Cool. 

Second part of the shit show was this old woman showing up at the start of class asking if I’m with [company name]. I say yes and she says that she called the business number listed on the website (my boss’s phone number) and left a voicemail because she wanted to sign up for a drop in for the puppy class, but nobody ever got back to her. NOBODY EVER CALLED HER BACK!!!! I apologized profusely, took down her info, informed her that that day’s class was unfortunately full but promised her we would get back to her ASAP. Again, this is something that is not my fault and yet I’m having to deal with it, because I’m the one who actually deals with the clients. So like that’s super fun. I email my boss about this, she says she never got a voicemail (I double checked the phone number the lady called by looking in her call log to make sure she actually did call the correct number- she did) and asks ME to get in touch with this lady about just signing up for the puppy class that starts next week instead since the Saturday one is full. I told her that she should be the one to do so (because IT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB WTF) because A) she’s the one the client contacted in the first place and B) she would have to arrange payment which I can’t do. Emailed her to follow up and see if this was resolved yesterday. Heard absolutely nothing back yet. 

I’m just so fucking frustrated. On the one hand I’m a thousand times more organized and driven than my boss is so working for myself would be way less frustrating and not the shitty disorganized mess that it is now, but on the other hand I’m going to be doing all this work only to have this business around for like 6-8 months or so. Hopefully. Really really hoping it’s no longer than that, but it may be. And that’s the other part of my frustration. I want to fucking move and I want to do it now. I could move like whenever I want because I’m a US citizen, but Mike can’t come with me. And I don’t know if I want to do the whole long distance thing again while we wait for his green card. The other option he had was to try to get a work visa, but that’s difficult because in order to get a work visa you have to have a job. And it’s hard to look for a job in a place that you A) don’t live and B) can’t legally work yet. We can’t even apply for a work visa until April because they only give out a certain number per year and they hit the cap like a few months ago. I’m going to talk to him about taking a couple weeks off in the spring so we can go to CT for a few weeks and he can job hunt. That way he’s there in person and can try to get to some interviews while he’s there. If they meet him and interview him, they may be willing to sponsor his work visa. But they also might not and the trip could be a gigantic waste of time since the work visa processing still takes a couple months, and what employer is going to be willing to wait that long when they could likely just hire someone who could start working for them ASAP? Ya know? Idk, it’s just frustrating. I haven’t even talked to Mike yet about the possibility of me moving to CT before him. Maybe I should. Idk. We could wait until we get closer to his green card processing getting done and then I could go first so at least we’re not apart for all that long. 

And then in the back of my mind is like... what if his green card gets denied? I mean we do have the whole straight white young Canadian working in the tech industry heterosexual married man privilege working to our advantage. But still... there is a chance that it gets denied for whatever reason. Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me with the giant orange dildo we have for a president right now. Also super hoping he gets impeached by the time we move because jesus h christ. Wow. 

Anyway... i’m sure nobody is even still reading this at this point. But it helps me to get all this garbage out of my system anyway. So if you are reading this thanks for sticking it out. 

Bye.  

[eldritchlulz-blog]

@kilnkin 

in post-hotel roommate adventures: moire and aud awkwardly feelings jam, but to their credit it’s slightly less awkward than they’ve managed in the past 

kilnkin

youre probably going somewhere else first but uh

bos ok. were good

kilnkin

sorry for that whole "the administration wont commit random murder" thing i guess i was pretty

off base

kilnkin

ok. enjoy your reunions! im heading out

kilnkin

(:

eldritchlulz

oh my gods good i'll come get her soon

are ye okay

kilnkin

yeah its whatever

um. kinda scary but were good so

you?

eldritchlulz

better now

we woke up and everyone else was gone

yer leaving for the summer tonight?

kilnkin

tonight. maybe the morning? idk

kilnkin

i packed

and youre all fine so i guess thats all i was waiting for

eldritchlulz

it'll be weird not sharing a room for the summer

kilnkin

lmao i still will be. it gets cramped at home

guess one more time bunked with someone under a century old couldnt hurt though

eldritchlulz

heh

yeah

still gonna get ye that globster

kilnkin

damn

here i was hoping you mightve found one in character building hell

eldritchlulz

nope

just some creepy skull ghosts

anything cool on yer end

kilnkin

mirrors

cannibalistic old woman

lots of water

usual i guess. good with at least one of those am i right

no that sounds dumb ok nvm

eldritchlulz

it's not dumb

it's fuckin shitty of the dean to turn that against ye

kilnkin

probably just luck of the horror movie trope draw

like walker losing his shit at having to swim lol

kilnkin

oh!! dunno how long exactly but i hit a new record holding my breath i reckon (: thats good news

eldritchlulz

oh shit that's sick

i guess adversity means new limits

i punched an illusion and it stopped working

kilnkin

oh hardcore

sounds better than puzzling. you may convert me to the ways of brute strength yet munro

eldritchlulz

i'm telling ye the pros are many and the cons are mostly that ye sometimes get detention

besides with iron bones yer already set up for success

eldritchlulz

ye can try it on for size when we get back next semester

kilnkin

lol new year new me right

hey you know what would be crazy? if i didnt actually get back next semester

hypothetically

eldritchlulz

what

kilnkin

nvm dw

eldritchlulz

why wouldn't ye come back

eldritchlulz

are ye not planning on coming back???

kilnkin

no ok im not planning anything lol

eldritchlulz

what do ye mean 'get' back then do ye think yer mum won't let ye

kilnkin

just a while ago ma was like

um

idk?

i dont think she wants me to

eldritchlulz

why

that's bullshit

it's not her decision

kilnkin

it is a little bit lol?

eldritchlulz

not even a little

do ye wanna come back next year

eldritchlulz

?

kilnkin

yeah

or i did? like the other day wasnt

fantastic

ok this is weird im sorry lol i dont actually need to sort this out im not even home yet

the instructions home are a killer right rofl like how long is it gonna take lmao

eldritchlulz

yeah that fuckin sucked

but like

yer friends are here

and bo would miss ye

kilnkin

you can get her a lump of clay no harm no foul

bad joke

eldritchlulz

i'm not accepting a lump of clay as my roommate next year

i want the real deal

kilnkin

i know ok dont get like. sentimenty

eldritchlulz

technically yer the one who's sentimenty

kilnkin

dont get witty either :p

listen i havent talked to her in months and this might not even be a thing im just. nervous i guess haha

eldritchlulz

yeah

well

eldritchlulz

if ye need someone to brute strength their way through the swamps of wherever ye'll be

i accept cool looking rocks in exchange

kilnkin

a fair trade as always

ill let you know

how it goes i mean

eldritchlulz

okay

deal

kilnkin

pleasure doing business

(:

eldritchlulz

:)

[audiovisualrecall]

Blahhh

Its 4:30

Im worried abt going and then getting my prd while i'm there, and the big piece isnt close enough to being done that a few hrs working on it will make it complete in time for thursday. But i will only have 4 pieces on the wall and the trio on a pedestal in the gallery without the big piece. And if i work on it today i can just prepare it to hang on thursday along with the rest and then continue working on it and have it hung up on the 16th...but i still dunno if itll be done in time. And i dont know when i'll get my period, so maybe i wont have those days to finish it to go itno the gallery. Maybe its okay to have a small number of pieces. I can finish the big one after the 17th then...except then what if i keep assuming i'm gonna get it and dont work on the big piece and then get my prd that week and am unable to finish in time for the 20th. I definitely have to finish the artist statement for thursday, but i can probably work on it tomorrow even if i get my prd tomorrow or tonight, i think.... but what if its a bad prd then i wont be able to work on the statement. And if i get my period tomorrow instead of tonight i could have the worst aspect of it on Thursday and be unable to go in. And sure if i cant go in i can email professor ho (and kauper) my statement, and i could text tasha and ask her if she could pick out a tall pedestal for me and a wall that could fit my stuff, and go in on friday with dad to prepare the trio for display and i can go set up in the gallery too. But Also!!! What if i dont get it tonight or tomorrow, what if i get it thursday? Thatd suck, whetheri was already there or not. But also it would mean friday would be the worst day so i couldnt go in then, and idk if i could send dad to my studio with the key to prep the pieces for display on his own?? How will he know how i want it to look? And what if someone is confused by him being there?? And id have to go on saturday to set up in the gallery, instead, if i was still home when i got it on thursday.

If i go in today im assuming i'll get it tomorrow, and it might make sense seeing as thats day 32 and thats the second most likely day to get it, but i could also get it on saturday, which would kiinda suck purely bc i could end up missing the ballet (assuming im skipping group for the ballet, and if not then missing group anyway) but would probably be the easiest day to get it really, and i might be able to make the ballet anyway tbh...but theres no guarantee i'll get it on day 35 (sat) either. I could get it on monday (day 36). Or during or before my final crit. If i go and assume i get it tomorrow i could be wrong, or if i'm right ill be screwed re:thursday set up, and i could also lose the time to work on the statement. But if i stay home today, i'm kinda saying the big piece isnt important enough to be included bc i have no guarantee of finishing it in time. I could put the small practice pieces in the gallery instead if i had to.... anyway staying home might sorta assume i wont get it tomorrow, so its a wasted day spent doing nothing, or i work on the statement today just in case i do get prd tomorrow and am unable to finish in time, and if i dont get it tomorrow then i can relax tomorrow. Theres also a chance i'll get it tonight, as early as 6pm and as late as...technically tomorrow morning (12am , 1am, and 2 am have happened i think..). Which again could mean not being able to work on stuff tomorrow, bc tomorrow could be the worse day. Idk what this period will be like, if itll be easy first day and the second day will be D, or if first day will be both cramps and D...second thru third days or even 4th could also have some cramps or stomach weirdness or D. I dont remember if the next day is different if i get it at night, or if early am is more like getting it at night or in the morning. If i get in the morning its sometimes easier, and key is i can usually function by 6pm even if its a shitty prd. Idk. None of this helps my decison making though. And the stupid forms and labels complicate things so i cant really just throw the practice pieces into the gallery last minute unless i can throw forms together and my own labels together for them last minute too. But if i dont put the big piece in, will my work look small and lonely?! Should i make forms and request labels for the practice pieces too just in case??! Will having them there make it look any better? Im stressing. What if they think i havent done enough work this semester because its all small and i didnt finish any of the larger things??!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Still dunno if i should risk it and go in to work on the big piece, or stay home and finish the artist statement. If i dont get my prd tonight or tomorrow morning/noon maybe i can go in tomorrow to work on the big piece then. If i get my prd while im there i can ask to be picked up at 6 or whatever. And deal while i am there. I guess. I wont go if i get it while i'm home, but. Yeah. And i might not get it tomorrow, again, i could get it on saturday! That might be more likely. Idk. What if i stay home today and then end up caught in the same anxieties tomorrow and end up not going in again? Blugh. What if i go and then get my period there or on the way home? I can deal with it by wearing a pad. I just hate being not at home and running to and fro between studio and bathroom bc im *sure* i'm abt to get my period and its like nope and nope and then maybe yep! Time to be miserable and feel trapped and angry and upset! At least at home im in the comfort of my own home doing that. Xv and finding out i have it at home is still slightly easier... i dont have to walk very far anywhere, not to a bus and another bus, not down a hill or stairs off campus, not down a hall to get back and forth from the bathroom to my studio, the bathroom at home is very close by wherever i end up sitting (moping). :b

So i still dunno what to do. I want to stay home. Its comfy here and i dont wanna do anything or go anywhere. Especially not out into the cold. But i do want to work on that big piece. But also....not really. And at the same time i really do. And also dont. Ficking hell brain what are you doing