#i promise ill post actual art soon LMAO

[gloriasato]

hello tumblr take this doodle dump and do what you will✌️

[impish-lion]

Tag ppl you wanna know betteeer

Tagged by: @dudettastone & @bluemouseblackpad (I'm so popular 😎)

Last song: My earworm of the day was "Up Jumped the Devil" by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, a comically evil song perfect for Halloween. Favorite new discovery today was "Sin In My Heart" by Siouxsie and the Banshees, it fucking rules!! I've slept on Siouxsie for way too long and I'm finally realizing she's one of the post punk greats

Favorite Color: deep forest greens are comforting beyond words.

Currently Watching: Just finished rewatching The Righteous Gemstones with my partner (it was their first time watching!), also very slowly burning through Eastbound and Down with one of my friends (hi @bluemouseblackpad , I promise I wanna get back to it). What can I say, I'm a simple man, Danny McBride makes a TV show, I love it.

Last Movie: Oh man, for the first time in a while I've actually been watching a good amount of movies again! I've been dipping into Criterion's Pre-Code Horror selection, which has been absolutely delightful. So far I've watched Murders in the Zoo and Murders in the Rue Morgue, both of which were genuinely shocking! Something about seeing a film that is so visibly a 1930s studio production, yet feels actually transgressive is so unnerving. Tonight I hosted a film club at the library I work at where we showed Wolf of Snow Hollow. I liked Thunder Road and I find Jim Cummings to be a fascinating (if sometimes grating) performer and his portrayals of tightly wound, self destructive men to be pretty raw. Here, he certainly brought a good performance, but man, is he ill equipped to wade into the Twin Peaks-y territory he ends up in here. It's still a pretty good movie, but it's always a little sad to watch a skilled director reach their limits. Also watched the new VHS with my partner, there were some good bits in there! Also one absolute dogshit one lmao

Currently Reading: I have started and stopped so many novels, it's genuinely embarrassing. What I have been actually reading though is the original Stan Lee/Steve Ditko run of Spider-Man lol. It's really fun! Peter is an over dramatic asshole who sucks at life and honestly? That's an amazing protagonist! Lee's writing is very "gee whiz" but he's unexpectedly very good at writing Peter's personal drama. Ditko's art is simultaneously amazing and totally bizarre! My favorite thing is that he keeps drawing Aunt May looking older and older, she's looking like cryptkeeper by issue 15.

Sweet/spicy/savory: hmmmmmm. Going with savory, but let it be known that spicy is within the margin of error

Relationship status: partnered up with a lovely person! We're coming up on our nine month! ❤️

Current Obsessions: Not extremely current, but Vampire Survivors took over all of my free time for a good while and I've only recently escaped its clutches lmao. I'm such a sucker for games like that, perfectly addictive formula!

Last googled: the cover for Throbbing Gristle's 20 Jazz Funk Greats (in the running for funniest ever cover)

Currently working on: freelance work for a very annoying client lol. Thinking I should do another project for myself soon and have some fun with an AMV. Oh, also looking into getting my master's?? Never thought I'd be doing that, but I can get it for free, so why not?

@criticalrolo I choose you

[sockori]

naruto hyperfixation moodboard

[add-endum]

i have a thing for getting into fandoms ages too late apparently so have some bmc kids and a really dumb meme

also I promise ill post content from fandoms u guys actually are following me for soon lmao im just busy not doing my art homework :)

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 1: CamelNOT

[Lively Music Plays]

I shit you not... that’s what it said in the CCs.

Tower of London (?)

*Catherine looks at the array of crowns like a museum curator and the proceeds to strut down the halls*

Wolsey: *gives her this strange look which is a mixture between damn girl and the eagle is my spirit animal.

Then Catherine gets fake detained and taken to Henry in what must be a strange variation of the whole Robin Hood/Maid Marian roleplay they historically engaged in.

... did she just call his erhm manhood his kingship? Well that’s original, I’ll give them that. Also funny how Bessie Blount initially looks on in fright... don’t worry girl that will be you soon.

———————————————————————

*the four ladies have a brunch friendship moment together*

I see Blount is among them... I see they are setting her up as Catherine’s friend in order to play up the whole betrayal.

Alright. Jokes aside, I realised how much I’ve played myself. I was inspired by @melusineloriginale ‘s sporks (which if all this TSP episode posts got you in the mood for PG show mockery I urge you to check out here - you’ll thank me later). In truth, Henry VIII’s early reign is a bit too late from my main area of focus for me to make intelligent jokes.

I’ll content myself with just bullet-pointing random thoughts that came into my head, and if some intelligent thought gets through, well that would be the pinnacle. In any case I’ll aim to not parrot some of the stuff that’s already been said, repetition can get annoying.

This image embodies this post, but maybe not the show. I’ve noticed those Starz productions get better by the end.

First Scenes:

- The recap just reminded me how much I will miss Margaret Beaufort in the coming episodes. I know her portrayal was innacurate but Harriet Walter just made everything better.

- They are making such a big deal out of this whole ‘we were crowned together, we rule together’ thing in this episode - it makes no sense. Catherine was an influential Queen but she was definitely no more than a consort and never saw herself as more.

- Ruairi’s new haircut is pleasing to my eyes.

- When she says ‘Abuelo’ it’s super adorable awww

The Ferdinand and Charles V scene:

- Bessie Blount looks so much like Ursula Pole lmao. Also they totally got the Pole children’s birth order wrong and UGH WHERE IS GEOFFREY POLE???

- I like Mary Tudor’s actress and her facial expressions. However, this whole polyglot image they are representing is innacurate. I am fairly certain she knew no spanish and I recall reading a contemporary account which said that she was not very learned.

- I’m pretty sure it would be considered bad luck to prematurely crown your son ‘Henry IX’ while you’re still alive.

- I actually like the whole Grape motif in this episode. It’s probably the smartest thing they’ve come up with so far for this episode. I know a lot of you will be all like ‘there’s no record of Ferdinand being abusive’ but this choice sort of makes sense when you recall Joanna’s treatment. Also I appreciate them for not being tacky and showing flashbacks of more overt abuse eg physical. The sugared grape is also fairly symbolic (the sugar is like a gilding, the grape easily crushable)

- OMG the guy from Garrow’s law is playing Thomas More!

- AND PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT SEEING THINGS? Margaret Pole x Thomas More is happening?? Please god that is a historical crackship I am getting behind. Yes. This is what I’m most invested about.

Margaret Tudor and Scotland Scene:

- The whole ironic cutaway to Margaret being all depressed after Charles Brandon’s statement about her charming Scottish king is such a cliché movie technique.

- If this were a more artsy film I would think the whole setup resembling a stereotypical middle-class family breakfast was done on purpose for humorous effects or to create a link with the past. But here I don’t have as much trust in the producers. I think they just failed to capture the time period accurately.

- The modernisms continue: ‘Negassi please stop playing’ idk, there just something so modern about this for some reason ahaha

- Also again, I’m getting tired of all this ‘Catherine is basically queen herself’, ‘Catherine is a political genius’, ‘Catherine Catherine Catherine’ ugh. I don’t think the producers understand that Henry VIII was a very autocratic and traditional ruler. He didn’t make any show of joint-rulership (correct me if I’m wrong).

- The teeth thing is funny, smart and I liked it.

Back to Westminster:

- I like Ferdinand’s actor!

- Also Catherine’s response to ‘who are you loyal to?’ was not that smart. I feel like the producers wanted us to be impressed. What if Spain and England’s interests conflict, ey??

The Joust:

- I care too much for the whole Margaret Pole plotline. I’m so invested.

- I could watch a series of More and Pole just exchanging lines. I love the actors too and this is my hope for this series. The whole frustrated parents is SO CUTE.

- I didn’t know More tutored Reggie, I would be curious to know more.

- The way compton says groom to queen’s stool is freaking hilarious. He looks like a pervert.

- Henry Pole is a darling and must be protected at all costs.

- Oh Christ oh Christ that eyeball shot was just... good job on the special effects guys. Don’t know what the point of that choice was.

- I found the whole armour mentions after interesting, it looked so set up as a PR campaign because Stafford speaking about the armour just sounded like a statement agreed on beforehand ‘should have worn the same’ and the Catherine with ‘steel in the bones’ and Ferdinand’s impressed face (it was him playing them?)

- Am I giving this show too much credit?

- Also whats up with “God save the Queen?”

War Counsel:

- Henry VIII’s actor is quite charismatic in this scene. It’s almost as if Catherine is the hothead and Henry the wise one that speaks less but more significantly. It almost feels like they gender-swapped them.

The Bedchamber:

- Did Catherine breastfeed the baby? I thought it was Anne Boleyn. Doubtful... I’m tired of the trope of ‘you’re a good woman if you insist on breastfeeding the child yourself despite social conventions’. For a feminist show, the writers seem very attached to some 1950s perceptions of motherhood.

- I feel like the age difference between Catherine and Henry is well conveyed.

Scotland Again:

- ‘All the sheep were pregnant’ 👀 oh touché Margaret. oh my. Did she just?

- I know they are playing out this disenfranchised Margaret arc to reinforce how great Catherine and Henry are (cheap technique) and to build up to her involvement in Flodden (innacurate historically but I know what the show will do). But I will say this: the humour is pretty good in the Scottish scenes! But I know it’s unintentionally so... (I highly doubt they wanted us to laugh at Margaret hitting James or calling Alexander a pig).

Westminster and the baby chamber:

- What’s are those red splotches on the babies face??

- Oh that shot of Margaret and silent Reginald :((( it makes me sad.

- And now the Poles are at church! I just love the look of them.

- That scene of Maggie and Catherine was needed, as we didn’t get the best friends vibe much in this episode. The whole thing looked a bit pagan though, but it was nice :)

The whole Ferdinand’s betrayal segment:

- The grape motif again was fitting, him snapping the fruit right before she gets to it even despite her knowing what he’s like and what he’ll do, was a good parrallel.

- I’m tired of hearing of this ‘Camelot’. Even in the novel, Camelot was Catherine and Arthur’s dream and... can we just live it up with Arthur?

- Ursula Pole’s, Bessie Blount’s and Mary Boleyn’s actresses look way too similar.

- I fail to see why Catherine thinks she’s turning into her father... she doesn’t strike me as much of a game-player or subtle two-facer.

- I’m intrigued what will happen with Oviedo and Lina... I feel like they won’t stay in England long.

- He was made knight bannaret... nice... but why does he thank Catherine publicly for this? It was in Henry’s gift that he was made a commoner Knight.. if this transpired irl Henry would have been gravely insulter.

Catherine’s Dead Baby and thereafter:

- Guys. In all seriousness, I don’t think the TV series is trying to imply that Catherine killed the baby with her negligence. I mean, they are so bent on us liking her they wouldn’t do that. It would be a bit too ballsy anyway. Remember the red splotches I mentioned earlier? Could those have been a sign that he was already ill but no one noticed/was in denial?

- The pebbles in hands would have had more emotional payoff if it had been established earlier if you know what I mean. Basically, this episode is too fast and entire arcs begin and end within it which extinguished any build-up.

- Oh man Henry is so sweet in this, how will they build him up as the tyrant he was historically if they keep this up?

Scotland Again:

- I must admit, I don’t like all those nicknames they keep using. But somehow James calling Margaret ‘Meg’ is nice and seems fitting.

- What’s a hermana sister?

England Last Mourning Scenes:

- YOU DID NOT BUILD CAMELOT ughhh

- Why is Catherine giving the speech and not Henry?? It turns out Catherine was more emotional historically then the whole perception of ‘perfect queen of stone’ to which some people hold her. However, I doubt it would have been proper of her to give a speech in such a emotional manner.

Conclusion:

6.5/10

Some of the dialogue was stilted, the costumes are confused as to which era they’re supposed to be (aesthetically distracting) and many other characterisation issues.

I don’t have high hopes for this series in terms of cinematography or art but I sure as hell expect it will be entertaining. So far, everything is just getting set up and I find some aspects promising. As you can tell I am truly excited over how the Margaret Pole plotline. I am also interested in how Henry will be portrayed, with Catherine being so OTT and pushy this episode Im starting to Stan him more. In this show he appears sensitive and serene and kinda... adorable. Kind of like a little brother hanging onto his sister’s skirts.

But in a way that is a disservice to the real historical figure which would not tolerate such a representation. I am very irritated by this whole ‘joint-rulers’ thing which is just sooo innacurate. These STARZ shows have an obsession with showing women turn into men for the purposes of feminism - I see.

Catherine overpowers Henry too often and it sometimes feels like he’s HER consort. Of course, the feminism in this show is schizophrenic as we get the overemphasis of Catherine as a 1950s motherly ideal with the whole breastfeeding angle (“you’re better than other noble woman who would find this beneath them”, “they’re not as motherly as you”).

So the relationship dynamic between Henry and Catherine is a bit off at the moment, but oh well.

Mary Tudor is a bit distracting with her dark hair but I find the actress extremely endearing and promising. I know there will be emphasis on her storyline too and I hope they’ll not be clichéd with it.

[humanhotdagaproject]

mod doppio’s promised taglist

[[ok off the bat lemme just say that I apologize in advance for inconsistent post schedule and exploiting the queue sometimes but school is a bitch so here we go—

Every post of mine will be tagged “buzzfeed unsolved”; “bfu”; “buzzfeed unsolved supernatural”; “buzzfeed unsolved true crime”; “the hotdaga”; “the hot daga”; and of course, “Human HotDaga Project”. The rest will be a mix of Category, or content, tags, and Character tags.

THE CATEGORIES::

[ Data and Analysis || The Reference Section ]:: text-based shit — introductions, updates, timelines, etc.

[ Masterpieces and Mantlework || The Art Section ]:: pretty self-explanatory lmao; character art, pose references, any artsy stuff that isn’t the actual story goes here

[ Preservation and Upgrades || The Story Section ]:: again, pretty self-explanatory; scenes, comics, animations, anything directly connected to the story

THE CHARACTERS::

[ Weaver of Tales Twice Told || Mod Doppio ] oh boy it’s me :D

[ Knowledge-Keeper; Guardian and Guide || Mod Diavolo ] honest to god i dont know where this man came from someone call child protective services we have a loose alter acting like a tour guide over here at hhdp—

**NOTE: for the actual foods I always use my personal tag along with a tag of just the character’s canon name, and one of the character’s canon name with “bfu” tacked on the end, just cuz idk if there are common enough character tags yet to settle on just one

[ If you Love Me; Let Me Go || Daniel Hodder ] dan the hot dog

[ Caretaker of the Future’s Hopes || Rebecca Hodder ] rebecca

[ Black Heart; Three Sizes Too Big || Pamela Drönjak ] pam

[ Prodigy || Brandon Hodder ] brandon

[ Mad Doesn’t Have to Imply Insanity || Dr. Lisa Wurst ] dr. bratwurst

[ Drifter in the Wind and Waves || Melba Dill ] melba 

[ Bass-Boosted Doesn’t Always mean Sound || R. B. Stevens ] steven rootbeer

[ For the World is a Little Quieter Now || Gene Frye ] gene who was french  fries

[ Heroes Aren’t Always Recognized Soon Enough || Maisie Corr ] maizey 

[ Girls Love Girls just like Boys Do || Geborah Frye ] gebra 

[ Apathy Wins with a Royal Flush || Michael Soup ] mike soup

[ Fallen Down || Ernesto Goondis ] dr. e.g.g.

[ The Prettiest Rosebuds Always have Thorns || Joblet Protz ] joblett

[ Misunderstood; Mistreated; Misled || Garce Protz ] garce 

[ Devourer of Shades and Spectres || Chili IX ] the dark master

anyone else ill add as they come up lmao

THE TIMELINES::

[ War Zones and Wedding Venues || Pre-01 ] chili wars, everything mentioned in flashbacks that doesn't directly happen in season one

[ Totalitarian Tyranny || Bad End Future ] where "gene" and brandon are from, the timeline where dan lost and witches took over cuz fuck you I have hcs for this

[ The Glory Days of Giving Up || 01 ] events in season 1 that can't be classified as flashbacks or Bad End

[ Say You Want Me Back in Your Life || 02 ] events in season 2 that can't be classified as flashbacks

[ First Contact in Off-Road Vehicles || 03 ] events in season 3 that can't be classified as flashbacks

[ Repentance and Recognition || 04 ] events in season 4 that can't be classified as flashbacks

[ The End of Days Begins Your Stories || 05 ] events in season 5 that can't be classified as flashbacks

[ Beyond "What we Have" to What we Need || Post-05 ] uhhhhhhhhhh idk part 6 predictions, theories, and headcanons fall here

Last Updated 03 Oct. 2019

[kamalayx-mm-blog]

last text post of the night, i promise! some of my very disorganized thoughts about saeran’s route. super long

i’m pretty sure i had more to say a few hours ago/while actually playing, maybe i’ll remember as i write. this is going to be a mess. i’m not trying to be organized, i just want to put my thoughts down

first off: i enjoyed this route much more than v’s. i honestly don’t remember a lot about v’s route except a lot of philosophy/fancy talk that i was never in the mood to try and understand (there was some of that in saeran’s too, but not nearly as much), as well as crying constantly for about a week over ray dying. it’s not that i dislike v! heck, his design is one i’m frequently biased toward (see: shigure [fe:fates]), though i admit that somehow white-haired-characters-that-are-somehow-either-the-villain-or-die--or-both also catch my attention. ...anyway. there’s no point to that but i’ll keep it lol

one thing v’s route did do for me was inspire some writing! ...or at least, just an idea/outline. which is rare for me. but that was also because i wanted to rewrite the end in order to save saeran. what’s weird is that saeran’s route didn’t do the same for me. i was already thinking about how i could save v (i was spoiled that he died but...), then i learned that.... he didn’t die. technically. now it’s much more complicated to think of a way to save him, knowing he goes back to rika (which i find ridiculous; he showed growth away from devotion to rika (”i trust you more than i do her” and whatnot) and yet that’s what he does? come on, v). so my next concern, of course, would be saving seven. but i don’t know if that’s going to happen in the after end (it’s honestly my hope for it. i don’t even need the action! just a time skip to when everyone is happy together)

randomly jumping to something i know people will have problems with: the days with unknown (since i like calling happy saeran... saeran, i’ll be calling black coat saeran unknown and magenta coat ray). i know he was supposed to scare me, but i was too busy jamming to “i am the strongest” whenever he showed up lmao i’m going to say here that i hate rika. mental illness is not an excuse for abusing people! that’s a ridiculous notion. someone could say here that unknown was the same way but...guys. while he’s definitely not neural typical, he’s under the effects of some combination of dangerous drugs/chemicals. he went through an intense “cleansing” and came back like that. it’s different. ...i deleted a whole bunch after this explaining more but no one cares so it’s fine.

next topic i guess: the music! i know that the first 5 routes were made long ago, but cheritz seriously stepped up their game. i’m currently listening to “endless struggle” on repeat while writing this, and might change to the harp version of “i am the strongest” soon because WOW. i’m still blown away by how all of the themes sound and the emotion they express. the harsh/dangerous tone of “i am the strongest” with the layer of sadness/desperation underneath will always get to me. honestly, i need to find someone with more musical knowledge than me who’s analyzed the pieces so i can find out even more about each of them. at this point i’d gladly pay the $85 + shipping for the believer package just for the sound track (and the cute art ;-;)

anyway, this is super long and probably makes little sense, so i’ll wrap it up (wish i could finish writing anything at least this long tbh. i can’t even be happy with a paragraph)

it’s been a long time since i played the other routes, so i was thinking of playing them again soon (i’d prefer that over going through all the chats at once in the history. weird, i know). but right now, i can say with quite a bit of certainty that this is now one of my favorite routes. i can’t say it’s the absolute favorite though: it has it’s problems, and the others have great parts of their own (i feel the same way about individual characters). before this, i would’ve probably picked jaehee’s as my favorite if i had to, which makes me want to replay it to be sure. don’t tell anyone but jumin’s is probably my least fav

i’m simply surprised at how quickly this route rose to the top, and i know it’ll stay up there! i didn’t want to replay v’s right away (still don’t;;;), but after a few days of rest i might play saeran’s again using my saves to get more endings (even though it’ll hurt me ;-;). it’s just.......... so good

so much more i could say, but i won’t. thanks for all of your hard work, cheritz!

tl/dr: saeran’s route is now one of my favorites

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[shastashein]

Can you do the even numbers on the oversharing questions post?

I just remembered I never answered this even though I promised to so here ya go (I’m on mobile and can’t add tags to this, so general tw ahead for references to suicide, rape, violence, sexual harassment, abuse, and self harm)

-Who have you hurt the most?A girl I went to middle school with. In sixth grade a classmate asked to use my phone to browse the web and she used my Facebook account to send awful sexually explicit messages to another student. She warned me to make sure nobody ever found out it was her and she was terrifying so I thought I couldn’t afford to make an enemy of her and I went along with it. The girl who she harassed was afraid to come to school the next day because I let that happen. I apologized but there’s no way to undo what she said because I did nothing out of reluctance to “be whiny” even when I knew her “prank” was wrong.

-Who do you want out of your life the most?My grandmother. She’s my mother’s abuser and makes coming home miserable.

-Who had the biggest negative impact on you?Same as above probably.

-Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings toward?I mean… there are tons of people I’ve desperately wanted to befriend but never did anything about. The list is miles long

-Who do you wish you’d treated differently?My ex. I was so afraid of hurting her that I would lie about problems every time they came up. I thought dealing with everything alone was a mark of maturity on my part and made me less selfish/ more noble because I was protecting her. I didn’t realize until later that it was wrong to hide so much (even for her benefit) and to treat her with kid gloves all the time. I think a lot about how I’d like to apologize to her for not trusting her to handle tough situations, but I won’t contact her unless she actually seems to want to talk. It’s been years since we’ve spoken anyway, it probably makes more sense just to let her move on than to try to force closure on her if I don’t even know if that’d be what she’d want.

-What’s your greatest fear?That I irritate my friends and they only pretend to like me because they feel obligated to do so haha

-What’s your biggest regret?I regret wasting so much time and effort on people I never cared about lmao

-Describe your personal hell.Any situation where I’m responsible for children or else where I’m within earshot of people who are making sounds that set off my misophonia.

-What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?I’m gonna go with… every time I’ve ever opened my mouth ever

-What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?I don’t know. A friend of mine loves to remind me of how much she used to hate me (she brings it up less often now, which is nice). When she less-than-subtly implied that throughout highschool people only ever tolerated me and nobody at all genuinely liked me it was pretty devastating.

-What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?There was a period of about two years when I was in my mid teens where I thought I would be able to survive while dedicating my whole existence to helping a friend, but she was severely mentally ill and I didn’t know the first thing about effectively supporting her through that with absolutely no help from anyone, not to mention all the other problems in her life that were out of my control. I spent literally all my time on her but tried to keep it a secret to protect her privacy. I fell asleep every night holding my phone (with the ringer turned all the way up) so I’d never miss a message from her. I talked to her constantly instead of doing my homework and all of the other things that needed to be done. We made plans to move in together as soon as possible and then to get married when we were older (“but only for the tax benefits”). I hated myself for how much I’d started to resent the person I always told myself I loved more than anyone. I was desperate to make something change because I was so obsessed with her that the only time I could be remotely calm was when she was happy, which was almost never. I didn’t see things ever being any different for me/ us and I was struggling to come to terms with the idea that the next decades of my life would be spent dedicating every moment to someone I secretly worried was broken beyond recompense. Eventually either I’d die first and in the moments leading up to that, despise myself more than ever for leaving her alone, or she would and I’d have no purpose anymore because trying to make her happy was my whole life. Thinking about that future was the most hopeless I’ve been.

-What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?I’ve never been brave even once in my life I’m a massive coward

-What’s the worst case scenario for you future?Uhh. I guess losing my current friends would fuck me over pretty badly??

-What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt???? Probably when someone I was really close with went out alone at night and a man found her and hurt her very badly, raped her, pissed on her, burned her and sliced her back to ribbons, and then he messaged me to brag about what he’d done. He told me he knew to talk to me for a good reaction because after he’d reduced her to incoherent sobbing she just started saying my name over and over, so he found me on Facebook and told me how much fun he’d had. I told my friend I’d always help her and she hoped maybe if she begged enough I would come make him stop but I couldn’t be there and I didn’t do that.

-Describe a time you felt like a traitor.Two of my friends were at a party and they hooked up. Partway through friend one decided he wasn’t into it anymore but friend two wouldn’t stop. Even after learning about this and knowing it made friend one uncomfortable when others still associated with the other party I didn’t cut off contact with friend two as I should have. This means I prioritized a person who sexually assaulted and traumatized my friend over the actual victim. It was selfish and wrong.

-Describe a time you felt inhuman.Not to be Edgy™ but I feel inhuman all the time on account of being constantly dissociated off my ass

-What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?I actually don’t know.

-What’s your relationship with your family like?I’ve answered one like this before. Basically my father’s not a part of my life at all, and my mother’s cool, and I know basically no other members of my family save my grandmother (and she’s an abusive cunt)

-Talk about someone you’ve lost.I’ve only dealt with loss a few times, and it’s mostly been family I wasn’t close with to begin with. I’ll always desperately miss Deneb even though he and I talked infrequently when he was still around. He was the sweetest person and I always wanted to be closer with him.

-Talk about a desire you have that scares you.I can’t think of anything. I get intrusive thoughts about physically harming friends but they’re less desires and more “what if"s and I’m positive I would never act on any of them.

-What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?Misophonia makes me want to respond violently to sounds that I can’t handle. I’m terrified that one day I’ll do something bad to my dog if I’m stuck somewhere with her and can’t make her stop smacking her lips. If I did hit her I’d never even be held accountable because nobody would have any way of knowing what I’d done

-Describe your worst heartbreak.If this is asking about romantic heartbreak then N/A.

-Have you ever taken a fall for someone?Not that I can remember right now

-Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?I dislocated a boy’s arm playing mercy with him. (I ended up being the one to lose though lmao because he wasn’t willing to stop and I had to say mercy if I didn’t want to keep hurting him)

-Have you ever self-harmed?Yes

-Have you ever stolen something?I stole all my blades from the art room in highschool

-Have you ever been cheated on?Nope

-Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?Yes

-Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?Not really! I love stories about unexplained events but I don’t really believe in the supernatural. I think there’s always another explanation, boring as that is