#i promise you that gay rights won’t be set back 20 years because the lesbian vampire show had ‘bad cgi’

[morgandekarios]

“love, simon sucks!” “heartstopper is immature!” “first kill is so bad!” shut up shut up shut up shut up stop shitting on shows because it doesn’t live up to your impossible standards for “good queer media”. not every goddamn show starring lgbt people needs to be the next moonlight or brokeback mountain. y’all need to take a chill pill and stop being so fucking negative all the time. not every piece of queer media is going to check off every single checkbox on your thousand item list of what makes “good representation” and that’s okay. let people enjoy something for once jfc.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[gayforheadphonesgirl]

Falling Back Into You (Chapter 3)

(A/N): I’m back with Chapter 3 of this SingleMom! Alex imagine. I’ve been having writer’s block so it took a bit longer than expected. This is a pretty long ass chapter. Not proofread in any way. Hope you guys like it!

Being the best friend that she is, Kelley quickly made her way to Alex's house after their phone conversation about (Y/N).

Kelley had always seen the pair act differently around each other, even during their younger days in the USWNT.

So she wasn't entirely surprised that Alex was currently pacing around in her own living room while the former Utah Royal looked on amused.

"Maybe you're just really excited to see her after all these years?" Kelley offered, but not exactly believing herself.

She had always thought Alex and (Y/N) would've made a good couple in another life.

They were like, each other's 'one that got away' as far as Kelley was concerned.

"Maybe... but I'm worried about how warm and fuzzy I feel inside when I'm with her. Especially when she's interacting with Mia" Alex exclaimed, running her hands through her hair.

"She's nice, she always makes people feel warm and fuzzy" Kelley said, shrugging her shoulders.

But Alex still looked frantic. Kelley wondered if a person could be too old for gay panic, because it seems like Alex is having it right now.

"Besides, Al. So what if you have a crush on (Y/N)? I'm pretty sure she feels the same way" Kelley said.

Alex blushed furiously at the thought that her feelings might be reciprocated.

"Wh-what makes you say that?" Alex said, sitting down on her couch next to Kelley.

"She picked up your kid from school, she bought you food... twice! That's like the greatest love language of all: FOOD!" Kelley said. Alex manages a laugh at her friend's logic.

"She's like that for everybody" Alex said, not wanting to get any hopes of something more than friendship with (Y/N).

"No, Al. She's got a real soft spot for you and it seemed to trickle down to Mia, too" Kelley said, smiling knowingly at Alex.

"Did you know she played soccer with Mia today? She pretended she was a goal keeper... She was wearing oven mitts for goodness sake! Why did I find that adorable?" Alex said, once again exasperated at her newly surfaced feelings.

Kelley chuckled and placed her arm around Alex's shoulder and pulled her for a side hug.

"You, my friend, are having gay panic. Bi panic, specifically" Kelley said. Alex groaned.

"Really? In my 40s?" Alex said.

"Better late than never, I suppose" Kelley said before bursting into laughter.

"Shhh! Don't wake Mia up!" Alex said, moving to shush Kelley with her hand.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry" Kelley said, stifling her laughter.

"So, are you nervous for Friday?" Kelley asked, leaning back on the couch.

"Very. Plus... I may have invited her over for dinner next week" Alex said, almost whispering the last part.

"You what? Oop. Already planning date night, are we?" Kelley teased. Alex once again blushed madly.

"I-it's not a date. It's just a thank you to her for picking up Mia today" Alex said, covering her reddening face.

"Alright, Al. If you say so" Kelley said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Alex groaned.

"I'm too old for this" Alex said. Kelley laughs and straightens up.

"Well, Al... It's pretty late. I gotta get back to Cassie or I'm sleeping on the couch tonight" Kelley said, moving to stand up. Alex looks at her friend and nods.

"Thanks for coming over. I just... I'm not really used to this feelings thing anymore" Alex admitted. Kelley smiled and gives her a slight push to the head.

"I'm glad for you Al. This will turn out better than you expect, I promise" Kelley said reassuringly. Alex doesn't exactly believe her but hums in agreement anyway.

"Thanks Kell. See you Friday. Bring the whole gang, will you?" Alex said.

"Sure you won't want (Y/N) all to yourself?" Kelley teased as she walked towards the door. Alex throws a pillow in her direction but the former Utah Royal quickly dodged it and stuck her tongue out.

"Goodnight, Kell. Drive safe" Alex said, smiling. Kelley waves before heading out the door.

For the first time today, Alex is left alone with her thoughts and feelings.

She lets herself fall into the couch and sigh.

She was pretty fucked.

---

Friday came too soon for Alex's comfort. She had mixed feelings about today, she was beyond excited, don't get her wrong.

It's just that she was also incredibly nervous about seeing (Y/N) with her realization that she may have feelings for her former teammate.

Her phone dinged with a text from (Y/N).

Hey, what time does Mia get out of school? I promised I'd hang out with her before we all go out for drinks tonight.

Alex couldn't help the smile that graces her features.

We'll be at home at 4pm. Alex typed out her reply.

(Y/N)'s answer was almost immediate.

Great. I'll drop by then. See you later, Al.

The sound of her university soccer players entering the pitch pulled her from her thoughts.

Right, she had work to do. She pushes the thoughts of tonight at the back of her head and started on her day.

---

Meanwhile, (Y/N) was mulling over what to wear in her loft. She wanted to make a good impression, not just on Alex but on all her other friends.

Her watch read 2:30pm. She had about an hour before she needed to leave.

She stared at the pile of clothes she had laid down on her bed. A button up and a jacket would be too formal, but a shirt would be too casual.

She settled for a navy blue mandarin collar button up and black slacks. Just sleek enough to pass off as someone who had their shit together.

Being the basic lesbian that she is, she didn't take long in getting ready and had about 15 minutes to spare.

But a light bulb lit up in her head. Grabbing her wallet and keys, (Y/N) dashed down to her car and pulled out of her driveway.

In record time, (Y/N) found herself in front of her favorite flower store: Freda's floral emporium.

Stepping out of her car, (Y/N) entered the store. She was greeted by the store's owner.

"Why, it's good to see you (Y/N)!" Freda greeted. (Y/N) smiled and headed on over to her.

"Good to see you too, Freda" (Y/N) said, pulling the elderly woman for a hug.

"It's too early for mother's day, isn't it? And it isn't Gloria or Ariel's birthday" Freda said, commenting that (Y/N) only usually came on those occasions.

"Well, it's not for family this time, Freda" (Y/N) said shyly, scratching the back of her neck.

Freda's eyes light up and she almost jumps for joy.

"Oooh! Is it for a special girl?" Freda said, already leaving her post in the counter to help (Y/N) look for the perfect bouquet.

"Sorta, yeah... Damn, Freda. This seems like I'm back in high school again" (Y/N) said, chuckling at how young and aloof she feels at buying a girl she likes flowers.

"Never too late to find love, I tell ya!" Freda said, already picking out her best flowers for her favorite customer.

"She's just a friend though, I doubt she feels the same way" (Y/N) said. Freda abruptly stops what she's doing and stares at (Y/N).

"Oh I think she'll change her mind with these flowers I'm making. Besides, who wouldn't want a piece of you!" Freda retorts. (Y/N) blushes and playfully nudges the older woman.

"What? It's true! Oh if I only had a daughter, I would've set her up with you a long time ago" Freda said, arranging her newly picked flowers for (Y/N).

"You flatter me, Freda" (Y/N) said, laughing at the woman's antics.

"There! Perfect. Any woman would fawn over this!" Freda said, handing (Y/N) a beautiful bouquet with roses and a single sunflower in the middle.

"Wow, this is amazing Freda" (Y/N) said, inspecting the flowers. She gives it a sniff and almost sneezes.

Bad idea, she thought.

"All in a day's work" Freda said smugly. But (Y/N) had one more request.

"Oh Freda, can I get a bouquet of daisies? For her kid?" (Y/N) said, wanting to surprise Mia as well.

If Freda was a bit taken aback at (Y/N)'s love interest having a kid, she did a good job of showing it.

"Ah, don't worry. Freda has got you covered!" She said, scurrying again to pick out daisies.

"Thanks, Freda. You're the best" (Y/N) calls after her, still looking at the bouquet in her hand.

She hoped Alex would like it.

In no time, Freda walks back to the counter with a small daisy bouquet in hand.

"I know I'm the best" Freda said, smiling proudly at (Y/N).

"How much for the two bouquets, Freda?" (Y/N) asked, setting Alex's flowers down to pull out her wallet.

Thumbing through her bills, she pulls out a 50 bill.

"Just 30, the daisies are on the house" Freda said. (Y/N) looks scandalized at the thought of not paying everything she owed.

"I refuse to let you go bankrupt, Freda!" (Y/N) said, pushing the 50 bill.

"I won't. Just promise me you'll get me as the flower supplier for your wedding!" Freda said, handing (Y/N) back a 20.

(Y/N) flushes but takes the change.

"I'll let you know, Freda" (Y/N) said, chuckling. She picks up both bouquets and walks out of the store.

"Thank you, Freda!" (Y/N) calls out.

"You're welcome, kiddo! Get her!" Freda said. (Y/N) smiles and heads on over to her car.

It's already a little bit past four when (Y/N) finds herself at the Morgans' doorstep.

She takes a deep breathe, and knocks on the door with both bouquets in hand.

"Just a minute" Alex called from the other side. (Y/N) shifts in her place, a bit nervous.

Alex opens the door with a smile so bright (Y/N) thought she was going to pass out.

"Hey" Alex said.

"Hey yourself" (Y/N) replied. They momentarily just stare into each other before (Y/N) gets back to her senses.

"I-uh, these are for you!" (Y/N) said, putting the bouquet forward. She doesn't miss the bright red blush that graces Alex's features.

"Wow... this looks amazing (Y/N)" Alex said, taking the bouquet.

"And these, are for Mia" (Y/N) said, showing the simple daisy bouquet. Alex smiles even wider at (Y/N).

Why does she have to be so thoughtful? Is this romantic? Is she trying to be romantic? A flurry of thoughts racing in Alex's head.

"You're so sweet" Alex said. She turns a bit to call for her daughter who was in the living room.

"Mia! Auntie (Y/N) has something for you!" Alex said. Mia quickly jumped up and ran over to the front door.

"For you, m'lady" (Y/N) said, crouching down to Mia's height. The girl takes one look at the flowers and squeals.

Mia takes the flowers and envelopes (Y/N) in a hug.

"Thank you Auntie! They're amazing!" Mia said, running inside to put it in a vase.

"Please be careful with the vases, baby girl. Do not hurt yourself" Alex called after her. She looked back at (Y/N) and invited her in.

"If you keep on giving her stuff, she's gonna be expecting it every time" Alex said, smiling at (Y/N).

"Then I'll do it every time" (Y/N) said grinning back at Alex. Alex felt the blood rush to her face and she hides behind the bouquet.

"I'm... gonna go put this in water. You can join Mia in the living room!" Alex said, before hurrying away from (Y/N).

(Y/N) looked weirdly in the direction where Alex had bolted but shrugged her shoulders.

Alex rushed into the kitchen and got one of the vases kept in the cupboards. She takes a moment to control her heart before putting the bouquet in water.

She places the vase next to Mia's and shoots Kelley a text.

She brought me and Mia flowers, FREAKING FLOWERS KELLEY!

Kelley, who was already on standby next to her phone since Alex had said (Y/N) was already on her way to them was able to see it immediately.

The former Utah Royal lets out an honest to God 'Awwww' while on her way to the bar they'll be meeting at.

She quickly types out her reply.

Ohhhh girl, she's definitely into you!

Kelley's reply does nothing to quell the blush on Alex's face. She groaned and rubbed her hands on her face.

"Okay, Alex. You can handle this. It's just a crush" Alex said to herself quietly.

She was three-time world cup champion, she can definitely survive having feelings for her friend.

Right? Right.

When she walks back in the living room, (Y/N) and Mia are deeply immersed in first-grade math homework, sitting on the carpeted floor.

Mia was chewing on her bottom lip and looking intently at her textbook.

"How about this Auntie, what do I gotta do?" Mia said, (Y/N) looks over to where she's pointing and proceeds to try and teach the girl what she needed to do.

Alex looks affectionately at the pair and silently walks to take a seat in the couch.

(Y/N) looks up at Alex and grins.

"Gays can't do math" (Y/N) mouths. Alex couldn't help but laugh and shake her head.

She pulls out her phone and snapped a photo of the scene before her. She contemplated putting it on social media, but thought better to ask (Y/N) first later.

(Y/N) continued to help Mia with her homework with Alex simply watching them.

She was mesmerized at how natural it looked to see (Y/N) with Mia. Maybe it was her crush talking, she didn't know.

"Mom look! I finished my homework so quick!" Mia said, lifting her textbook for Alex to see.

"That's great, baby. I'm proud of you" Alex said, walking over to sit on Mia's other side.

Anybody could've taken a look at the three of them all huddled up and think that they were a happy family.

"Can we watch soccer now?" Mia said, looking up pleadingly at her mother. Alex smiled and reached for the remote.

She flipped the television to ESPN just in time for an NWSL game. With Mia engrossed in the action, Alex took the opportunity to talk to (Y/N) quietly.

"Look at you and Mia" Alex said, showing (Y/N) the photo she took. (Y/N) turned and beamed at the photo.

"Wow that looks really nice. I love it" (Y/N) said, she takes Alex's hand to pull the phone closer to her.

They both ignore the electricity that they felt when their hands touched.

"Will it be alright if I post it on Instagram?" Alex said. (Y/N) lets go of her hand and she misses the contact immediately.

"Sure, why not" (Y/N) said, smiling. Alex draws back her phone and opens up social media.

"What's your handle? Do you even have Instagram still?" Alex said, already typing out the post.

"Yeah. I'm not a grandma. I just don't use it a lot" (Y/N) said with a laugh.

"Is your handle the same?" Alex said. (Y/N) nods.

Not long after Alex posted the photo, (Y/N)'s phone started ringing with notifications.

"Her new favorite Auntie" Alex's post read.

"I love my new title" (Y/N) said, chuckling. She spotted a comment from Kelley and Allie.

K: Hey no. She cannot dethrone me that fast! A: Well, I'm pretty useless when it comes to homework so she can have that part of the job.

"Oh I forgot to ask, who among the girls are going to make it tonight?" (Y/N) said, scrolling through the comments.

She noticed a few fans commenting about their 'ship' coming alive after all these years.

There isn't a ship when it's unrequited, she thought.

"Kelley, Allie, Krashlyn and Preath all said they would come!" Alex said.

"Nice" (Y/N) said, her excitement of seeing her old teammates bubbling inside of her.

"Some of the younger ones are still busy with the NWSL season so they couldn't make it" Alex said.

"I totally get that" (Y/N) said. The pair was a little bit startled when someone knocked on the door.

Alex looked over her shoulder and stood up.

"Must be the babysitter" Alex said. (Y/N) nods and puts her arm around Mia who was starting to doze off after the game finished.

Alex walked to the front door and opened it.

"Hey, Greta. Thanks for coming " Alex greeted her usual baby sitter. The teen smiled and walked inside.

"Hey, Alex. No problem. Anything for sweet little Mia" Greta said. The pair walked into (Y/N) carrying Mia who was already fast asleep to lie on the couch.

(Y/N) looked at them and put a finger to her mouth to signal them to be quiet.

Alex swore she had never seen anything more adorable. She quietly made her way to Alex and Greta.

"Out like a light. Must've been the math" (Y/N) said, chuckling.

"(Y/N), this is Greta. The best baby sitter in town" Alex said, motioning to the teenage girl next to her.

"Hey Greta. I'm (Y/N)" (Y/N) said, offering her hand to Greta. But the teen just gaped.

"... (Y/N)? As in (Y/N) (L/N), USWNT legend?" Greta said. Alex laughed and linked their arms.

"The one and only" Alex said proudly.

Greta couldn't believe her luck. The number of football players she had met because of her babysitting job with Alex Morgan.

She almost thought it was a scam when a craigslist ad for a babysitter was listed under the soccer star.

(Y/N) laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. Alex looked knowingly at Greta.

"Why don't you take a photo with her?" Alex said, nudging (Y/N).

"Would that be okay?" Greta said hopefully. (Y/N) nodded and smiled.

"Sure. It's kinda funny how you know me" (Y/N) said, moving to her side. Greta gave Alex her phone and squealed.

"You're like one of the greatest of all time" Greta said happily. (Y/N) blushed and swung her arm over the teen's shoulder.

"Thank you, but I'm not" (Y/N) said, chuckling. Alex snapped the photo and handed Greta back her phone.

"She's humble like that" Alex said, grinning at (Y/N).

Greta thanked (Y/N) for the photo and proceeded to look after the sleeping Mia.

"I'll go get ready" Alex said, motioning she'll be going upstairs for a bit. (Y/N) nods and lounges around in the kitchen.

She's busy scrolling through her phone when Alex emerges from the top of the stairs. As if by instinct, (Y/N) looks up and her breath is caught in her throat.

Alex looked stunning in a striped dress that hugged her curves just right (A/N: Just imagine her wearing the dress she has on in her vogue shoot on Instagram. I don't know how to describe it lmao).

"I feel like I should've dressed up more" (Y/N) said, still gawking at the former Orlando forward as she went down the stairs.

"Please. You don't look so bad yourself" Alex said, and with a surge of courage threw a wink at (Y/N)'s direction.

(Y/N) blushed at the comment and followed Alex like a lost puppy as she gave Greta a few more reminders before they went on their way.

"Dinner's in the fridge. Her vitamins are in the usual cupboard and bedtime is at 9:30pm please" Alex said. Greta nodded her head. Mia was still out like a light on the couch.

(Y/N)'s heart warmed as Alex bent down to kiss her daughter goodbye.

"I got us a Lyft so nobody has to be the designated driver" (Y/N) said, grinning at Alex as they made their way outside.

"Smart. What about your car though?" Alex said. (Y/N) shrugged.

"I'll bring it home once I've sobered up enough. Would you mind if I leave it here?" (Y/N) said. Alex's mind raced at the possibilities of (Y/N) having to come by her house after drinks.

"Not at all" Alex said. (Y/N) beamed and offered her arm, Alex smiled and accepted, linking them together.

It didn't take long for the Lyft to arrive and they were off to the bar.

Both women were buzzing with excitement at the thought of reuniting with their friends.

"I wonder if Kelley can still hold her alcohol like she did when we won the World Cup back in 2019" (Y/N) thought aloud. Alex snorted.

"Oh she definitely still can. She's a 21-year-old frat boy stuck in a 40-something's body" Alex said. (Y/N) laughed.

"God I can't wait to see them. I feel bad for not really staying in touch with you guys all these years" (Y/N) said sadly, looking down at her hands.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Life happens. You're here now right?" Alex said, taking (Y/N)'s hand and squeezing it.

(Y/N) offered her a smile and felt infinitely better. They spent the rest of the ride still holding hands.

Neither of them acknowledged the other's disinterest to let go.

The only time (Y/N) finally lets go of Alex's hand is when she has to pay the driver once they arrived.

They thanked the Lyft and went inside the bar. Kelley had immediately spotted them and began waving wildly from her seat.

"Alex! (Y/N)!" Kelley said loudly. The pair whipped their heads in her direction and laughed at the woman.

Still the same Kelley after all these years, (Y/N) thought. They approached Kelley with wide smiles.

Once they were close enough, Kelley attacked (Y/N) with a bear hug.

"How long has it been (Y/N)!!!!" Kelley said, squeezing the living life out of (Y/N).

Alex couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her two friends.

"Nice to see you too, Kell. Now let me go before I pass out" (Y/N) said, chuckling.

"Oop, sorry" Kelley said with a cheesy grin. They take their seats while waiting for the rest of the gang to show up.

They had talked about (Y/N) being intrigued with Mia during her camp that eventually led to her reconnecting with Alex and the rest of the team.

Kelley nodded along like Alex hadn't already gushed about it to her.

It took about 15 minutes before the rest of the gang showed up, Allie had arrived with Preath while Krashlyn came as a couple.

"Still the third wheel, I see?" (Y/N) said to Allie with a smirk. Allie rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, (Y/L/N)" Allie replied. (Y/N) laughed.

The group of friends easily fell into conversation once they were settled down with drinks.

As per usual, Ashlyn was the one documenting the whole thing and posting it on her Instagram stories.

"When I heard about the social work you were doing, I checked it out on the internet. It seems amazing" Christen told (Y/N) with the whole gang nodding their heads in a approval.

"Thank you. That means a lot, from a CEO like you" (Y/N) said with a smile, talking about their successful re-inc company.

"We really missed you, man" Tobin said. She was one of (Y/N)'s closest friends on the team, if not the closest.

"I know. I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep in touch" (Y/N) said shyly. She really felt bad.

Alex reached out for her hand under the table and squeezed again. (Y/N) glanced at her and smiled for the comfort.

"It's fine. We barely realized you weren't there" Ali said jokingly.

"Yeah... who is she? I don't know her" Ashlyn said. The mood lightened with Krashlyn's antics.

"Alright, enough with that emotional shit. It's time for Never Have I Ever!" Kelley said, raising her shot glass filled with tequila.

"Still the college frat boy, are we Kelley?" (Y/N) said, laughing.

"Of course. That's like my brand" Kelley said.

The game started out pretty simple, with most relating to soccer practice when they were still in the USWNT.

Everyone on the table was surprised when Christen took a shot after the Never Have I Ever faked being sick to skip practice.

"What? I'm human too" Christen said defensively. Kelley, Ashlyn and Allie gave her approving looks.

"Let's make this interesting and because I want Preath and Krashlyn to take more shots" Allie said. Clearing her throat.

"Never Have I Ever fallen in love with a teammate" Allie said. She narrowed her eyes at the two couples as they groaned and took shots.

Alex wondered if she should take a shot. Was she in love? It was just a crush right?

But what was surprising to everyone was when (Y/N) slowly took her shot glass and downed it in one go.

"Oh my God?" Allie said, looking at (Y/N) at disbelief. Alex felt a feeling of giddyness and jealousy bubble up inside of her at the same time.

Who did (Y/N) have feelings for? But at the back of her mind, she was really hoping it was her.

"What?" (Y/N) said, a blush creeping up on her face. Alex was also looking at her. She couldn't tell what the other woman was thinking.

Could she see right through me? (Y/N) thought.

"Spill" Ashlyn said. Allie and Ali (lol) nodded in approval.

Tobin and Christen glanced at (Y/N) worriedly, obviously knowing who it was.

"Nope" (Y/N) said, taking another shot.

"No fun!" Allie said, pouting at the other woman.

"Maybe next time" (Y/N) said, risking a glance at Alex's direction. She was playing with her shot glass, seemingly deep in thought.

The game continued on for about 15 minutes more before they grew tired and simply settled on sharing stories.

(Y/N) felt happy that her friends were still all so successful. She missed them so much and really meant it when she said there would be a 'next time'.

Before long, it was deep into the night. With kids waiting on them at home, Krashlyn and Preath excused themselves.

"See ya. Everybody just get a Lyft or an Uber please. Stay safe" Allie told the two couples.

They nodded before saying their goodbyes and heading out.

"Hey. Until what time can Greta watch Mia?" (Y/N) asked the more than tipsy Alex next to her.

The forward was feeling a bit woozy, already leaning her head on (Y/N)'s shoulder.

"She can watch her until 10pm I think" Alex said. (Y/N) looked at her watch and it was already past nine.

"It's past nine. Do you want to head back already?" (Y/N) said. Alex checks her phone and nods lazily.

"Alright. I'll get us a Lyft. I still gotta get my car at your place" (Y/N) said. Alex hummed in approval.

She sends a weak glare at Kelley and Allie's way when they wiggle their eyebrows at her while (Y/N) was busy with her phone.

After a few minutes, their Lyft driver had arrived and (Y/N) helped Alex get up.

"It was really nice getting to catch up guys. Let's do this again soon" (Y/N) said, looking at Allie and Kelley.

"Definitely" Allie said. (Y/N) smiled before assisting Alex out.

Alex spared a look at Allie and Kelley before they headed out the door. Her two friends winked at her and gave her a thumbs up.

She laughed and flipped them off. The Lyft ride home was filled with comfortable silence, both of them buzzed enough to just enjoy each other's company.

When they finally arrived, (Y/N) walked with Alex inside. They find Greta waiting in the living room.

"Hey. Mia's already asleep upstairs" Greta said, standing up and gathering her things.

"Thanks, Greta. Sorry we were out a bit late" Alex said, looking apologetically at the teen.

She shrugged and smiled.

"Mia's an angel, it's no problem" Greta said. Alex handed her the payment and she headed out.

"Are you sure you're sober enough to drive?" Alex said, turning her attention to (Y/N).

"I guess so" (Y/N) said. She wasn't drunk, but she definitely wasn't completely sober. Alex scrunched up her brows.

"That's not good enough. Why don't you stay the night?" Alex offered without thinking. They both blushed at the prospect.

"I-i mean, if you want" Alex said. (Y/N) smiled.

"I'd love to" (Y/N) answered. Alex grinned.

"Great. I'll just check on Mia. You can freshen up in the bathroom in my room" Alex said. (Y/N) nodded.

(Y/N) headed to her car to get a spare set of clothes she always kept there for emergencies.

She mentally thanked herself for doing that because she would definitely not look good in Alex's clothes.

Maybe the other way around would work, she thought. The image of Alex wearing her clothes entered her mind and she blushed.

"Great now that's stuck in my head" (Y/N) grumbled to herself.

She went back inside and stopped in her tracks when she realized she didn't know where Alex's room was.

She sighed and pulled out her phone. She really couldn't call out for Alex if Mia was already asleep.

Ok I just realized I don't know which one is your room. (Y/N) typed. She pressed send and waited for a bit before Alex's reply came.

Oh shit yeah, sorry. Second door to the left upstairs. Alex's text read.

(Y/N) made her way up and walked to Alex's room. But the sight of Alex and Mia caught her eye in the room before Alex's.

Mia was fast asleep, hugging a soccer ball plushie with Alex stroking her hair.

(Y/N) smiled to herself and proceeded to enter Alex's room. She helped herself to the bathroom and freshened up.

She was just about finishing up when she heard the door open and close, meaning that Alex was probably already in the room.

(Y/N) walked out with her worn out Portland Thorns jersey and shorts. Alex chuckled at her wardrobe choice.

"What? It was the only thing I had in the car" (Y/N) said defensively. Alex laughed and approached her.

"I think it's cute. It still suits you" Alex said, looking up at (Y/N). The latter swore she could get lost in those blue eyes forever.

"Why thank you" (Y/N) managed with a smile. Alex smiles back and proceeds to side step her way into the bathroom.

"My turn" Alex said, closing the door on (Y/N).

Having nothing to do while waiting for Alex, (Y/N) looked around the room. She noticed Alex's soccer trophies on full display on a shelf next to her study table.

She also took a peek at the framed photos on the wall. Their World Cup victories, including the 2023 one that (Y/N) wasn't a part of, club pictures from Orlando, a few photos of her and Mia.

(Y/N) smiled, looking at Alex's face on the photographs. She swore that smile could light up a whole room.

(Y/N) is brought out of her thoughts when Alex walks out of the bath. (Y/N) looks up at almost passes out then and there.

The former Orlando star is wearing nothing but a tank top and short shorts and she really doesn't want to stare so she avoids looking at Alex in general.

"I-uh, I'm going to head down Al. Good night!" (Y/N) stuttered out, making a beeline for the door.

But Alex grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop.

"Why?" Alex said, her eyes a bit glassy still because of the alcohol.

"So I could sleep in the couch?" (Y/N) said, almost as a question.

"You could sleep here with me. I mean, the bed's big enough for the both of us" Alex said. (Y/N) was putty in her hands, especially with the tinge of hope she could hear in Alex's request.

"Are you sure, Al? I wouldn't want to intrude on your personal space" (Y/N) said. But Alex is already dragging her to the bed.

"You won't. I promise" Alex said. (Y/N) can feel her heart pounding when they get settled.

She tries to focus on her breathing, it was just Alex. Friends do this all the time right? Right.

"Will you cuddle me?" Alex said. Even in the darkness of the room (Y/N) could see the sparkle in Alex's eyes.

She couldn't really say no to that.

"Okay" (Y/N) said, wrapping her arms around Alex. The latter buries herself in the other woman's arm. Feeling warm at the contact.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)" Alex said, smiling contentedly. If it was the alcohol or (Y/N)'s embrace, she didn't know but she felt the most calm she's ever been in years.

"Goodnight, Al" (Y/N) said, still trying to keep her pounding heart at bay.

To be continued.

[deancasheadcanons]

Trust Your Heart

[ao3]

Part 3 of the Never Trust a Skinny Baker ‘Verse [part 1] [part 2]

“We could go to Hawaii. I’ve never been to Hawaii.”

“None of the people in your life can afford that, Dean,” Kevin says without looking up from the blender.

“Well, technically he only needs a couple of witnesses,” Alex chimes in. “Sam and Eileen could definitely afford it.”

Dean idly crosses “Hawaii” off the napkin-based list in front of him. He always thought he’d be content enough to go down to the courthouse and sign some papers, but it turns out he actually does want to get married in front of friends and family. Even if the thought of it makes his insides turn to goo.

“Why don’t you just go to the courthouse? You know Cas doesn’t care,” Krissy shouts from the kitchen.

Dean looks over his shoulder warily and tries to think if there are any other instances of Krissy reading his mind. He’s suspicious of her for a lot of reasons, so he can go ahead and add that one to the list. “What are you talking about? Cas cares deeply about this.”

“Why don’t we take it to the tip jar gods?” Alex suggests. She squats down and opens the cabinets under the register. She comes back up with an armful of mason jars.

“No. Absolutely not,” Dean chastises as he pushes the top of her head to make her go back down to the cabinets. “I’m not letting anymore decisions about my personal life be controlled by the yahoos who come into this shop.”

A little old lady gives Dean a mean glare as she walks up to the counter.

“What can I do for you today, ma’am?” Dean asks with a smug grin.

“Did you just call me a ‘yahoo,’ young man?”

Alex ducks her head and snorts a laugh.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you a free coffee if you promise not to mention it to my manager,” Dean replies with a wink.

“Well, I would like to speak to the manager,” Charlie says as she walks up to the counter and stands right beside the old woman. “If I don’t get a say in the owner’s wedding plans, then I’m suing.”

“What?” the old lady asks.

“Excuse me, ma’am, I’m already with a customer,” Dean says to Charlie.

“Yes, but! Would you please tell the baker and his deaf fiance that if they don’t have a big, fancy wedding that I’m going to sue them? You know the baker, right? Big Dean—he’s got green eyes, a face that makes even lesbians swoon, and a big, round, doughy bel—”

“Alright, alright. We’ll do tip jars. Fuck you, Charlie.”

The old lady is already halfway out the door.

“So I’m thinking a barn wedding. We can all wear flannel and ride horses,” Charlie says as she hands her credit card to Alex. “Oooh and cowboy hats! Dean, you’d look stellar in a cowboy hat.”

“Hard pass, but thanks for the suggestion.” He grabs a plate and opens the display case to get Charlie’s usual muffin.

“What? Big Dean passing on cowboy hats?” Henriksen interrupts as he also hands his card to Alex. “I thought you had a thing for cowboys.”

The girls burst out laughing, and even Kevin chuckles a bit. Dean glares at Henriksen.

“Can a guy like Old Westerns in peace?”

Sam comes through the kitchen door in the middle of tying an apron around his waist. “Sure, but a guy can’t have an Old Western fetish in peace.”

“It’s a healthy appreciation,” Dean mumbles petulantly.

"So barn wedding!” Charlie shouts. “We’re doing it, guys! We’re doing a barn wedding!” she announces to the whole shop.

Dean rolls his eyes as the customers clap and cheer.

“No, no, no, we gotta do this right,” Alex says as she once again squats down to get the tip jars.

Dean doesn’t stop her this time.

In the middle of the late afternoon rush, they write down each of the employee’s suggestions on their respective jars. Alex texts Claire for her suggestion (courthouse), and Kevin mulls things over for an hour before finally settling on “bakery.”

“Bakery? You want them to get married in a bakery,” Krissy says in a judgmental tone.

“This bakery. Dean basically lives here anyway,” Kevin justifies.

“Hm,” Dean says.

“Oh my god, you like that idea,” Alex accuses with a pointed finger at Dean.

Dean just shrugs. “Best one I’ve heard so far.”

“Um, hello? Barn!” Charlie shouts once again from her table in the corner.

“Butt out!” Dean yells back, but it’s too late. People are cheering again. “No peace in my own goddamn shop,” he mutters.

The door dings, and Dean glances up at it instinctively and spots Cas. Warmth fills his chest against his will as he watches Cas smile and sign to somebody next to him. It takes Dean a solid 10 seconds to notice who he’s talking to.

“Cassie?” Dean blurts out eloquently as Cas and Cassie make their way up to the counter.

Cassie squints at him, looks him up and down, opens her mouth, closes it. Finally her eyes widen and she exclaims, “Dean!”

“Didn’t recognize me under all this, huh?” He pats his belly self-consciously.

“No! I mean. I’m sorry.” She laughs and hangs her head. “I just wasn’t expecting to see you. I mean, Dean, it’s been…”

“A baker’s dozen years,” he finishes for her.

The rest of the shop has gone suspiciously quiet, but Dean ignores it. Alex is still taking orders, so it’s not like he’s holding the line up.

“Uh, what are you doing here?” he asks with a glance toward Cas.

Cassie turns to Cas as well and then back to Dean. “Oh. Um. This is Cas. Weird coincidence, I know.”

Before Dean can cut Cassie off to tell her he already knows Cas, Cas leans across the counter and kisses Dean squarely on the mouth. Dean winks at him when he pulls away.

“Um,” Cassie says.

“You work for the paper, Cassie?” Dean asks.

“I do,” she says with a nod. She pauses as if considering whether to give Dean information he probably already knows. “I was just talking to Cas about some freelance work he’s doing for us.”

“I didn’t know you know sign language.”

“Oh, um, I don’t. I mean, I took a couple classes in high school.” She huffs a tired laugh and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Actually, can you tell him that he’s signing too fast for me? I’m only getting about half of what he’s saying.”

Dean relays the message, and Cas turns to Cassie with an apologetic, embarrassed expression. After they clear things up a bit about what exactly Cassie missed of their conversation in the past hour, Cas finally asks Dean how he knows Cassie.

“We dated for a couple months when we were in our early 20s,” he signs quickly, hoping that Cassie won’t catch it.

Cas clenches his jaw. “How serious was it?”

“Not really the right time or place to discuss this. We can talk about it later.”

Cassie laughs nervously. “What am I missing?”

Dean flashes her a winning smile. “Nothing, sweetheart. Small world, you and Cas working together.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. Um, you’re obviously busy and Cas and I are—”

“Oh! You probably came here to actually order something. Sorry, what can I get you?”

Cassie stares at the display case as she answers, “Actually, um, Cas and I only need to go over a couple more things, so would it be possible if you could…?”

It takes Dean a second to figure out what she’s asking. “You want me to be the translator?”

Cassie smiles shyly at him. “Could you? I mean, you probably don’t have the time and—”

“I got it,” Sam says as he appears right next to Dean. “You go ahead, Dean. Crowd’s dying down anyway.”

Dean gives Sam a mean look, but Sam just grins and pats Dean’s shoulder until he walks away. Sam never met Cassie when she and Dean were dating, but Dean talked about her enough to drive Sam insane. Sue him, Sam was in college and Dean had to find something to talk about on the phone every week.

When the three of them sit down at Cas’ usual table together, Cas doesn’t seem too thrilled about Dean being there. It makes Dean feel nervous, or maybe just annoyed, that Cas apparently can’t deal with the idea of Dean dating people who aren’t him.

It only takes them about 30 minutes to get through Cas and Cassie’s meeting, but none of them make a move to leave when they’re done. Dean, for some reason, looks at Cassie expectantly and she takes the bait.

“I didn’t know you, um...how did you learn sign language, Dean?”

Dean doesn’t bother signing while he talks. Cas is suddenly engrossed in his tablet anyway. “My brother’s wife is deaf. Good thing, too, because I never would’ve landed this one otherwise.” He rubs Cas’ shoulder soothingly. Cas looks up at him, so Dean leans in for a quick kiss.

“So you’re, uh, you know…” Cassie says awkwardly.

“Um, no, I don’t know. What are you not asking me?”

“You know, like, you and Cas, uh…”

Dean bursts out laughing. “Oh shit, I was still in the closet when we dated, wasn’t I?”

“What? You were gay when we da—”

“I’m not gay. I’m bi. I exclusively dated chicks when you and I went out.”

“But you liked guys?”

He shrugs and nods.

She glances between him and Cas. “You’ve changed a lot.”

“I know, I’m a lot more handsome now. Thanks for noticing.” He bats his eyelashes for good measure.

Cas looks up from his tablet and asks Dean if he’s going back to work anytime soon.

“Alright, I see when I’m not welcome anymore.” Dean stands despite Cassie’s protests. “Cassie, feel free to leave Cas to his own devices. He probably won’t notice if you leave. I sometimes think he might be more blind than deaf.”

Cassie gives him a judgmental look, which Dean ignores. As he’s giving her a hug, Charlie’s voice carries across the store.

“Bakery wedding? Bakery wedding is in the lead? Guys, I thought we all decided on a barn wedding!”

Dean lets go of Cassie and glares at Charlie.

“Oh god, I’ll get out of your hair so you can...deal with that customer,” Cassie says.

“What? Oh. That’s just Charlie. She’s, uh, really invested in my personal life.”

Benny randomly comes up to Dean then and slaps him on the shoulder. “I’m rooting for barn wedding, brother. You and Cas set a date yet?”

“What?” Cassie interrupts.

“Um, Benny, will you excuse me?” Dean asks pointedly.

Benny gets the hint and backs away with his hands raised like he’s in trouble. Cas looks up from his tablet and stares between Dean and Cassie.

“Benny’s really invested in my personal life, too. Everyone in this stupid shop is invested in my personal life.”

“You and Cas are getting married?” Cassie asks with an edge to her tone.

Dean scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Trying to, at least.”

“Wow, you’ve really changed a lot.”

“Cassie, I was 22 when you and I—”

“No, I get it. You weren’t ready to settle down.” Her eyes deliberately move down to his gut. “Now you’re all content and living a comfortable life, so I get it. Timing.”

He plants his hands on his hips. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you broke up with me.”

“Yeah, because you were dragging your feet.” In a voice more sad than angry, she says, “You told me you never wanted to get married.”

Dean looks at Cas and then back to Cassie, concern lining his features. “That was a long time ago, Cassie. You’re not still upset with me, are you?”

Cas stands and puts a hand on Dean’s lower back.

Cassie deflates a little. “No, I’m not upset. That would be—ridiculous. It was just surprising to see you here, that’s all.” She gets up from the table and looks toward the door. “I’m gonna head out. Um, congratulations. Seriously, I’m happy for you guys. I’m just…” She rolls her eyes. “You know, 35 and single. At some point, you start to wonder if you’re the problem. I’ll see you later, Dean.”

She leaves before Dean can think of something else to say. He watches her go until he feels Cas’ eyes on him.

“What was that about?” Cas asks warily.

“I think she’s kind of upset about us getting married. She broke up with me because I wasn’t serious about our relationship and told her I never wanted to get married.”

“You should apologize to her,” Cas responds.

Dean blinks in shock. “It was a really long time ago. And besides, aren’t you supposed to be jealous?”

“I’ll always feel jealous that there are others out there that have been with you, but there’s nothing I can do about that, is there? But you can do something about Cassie feeling hurt. She obviously never got closure from you, and now you’ve been given the opportunity to provide it.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You told her you never wanted to get married, and now here you are, getting married,” Cas signs slowly as if trying to get it through Dean’s thick head.

“People change their minds! I’m not allowed to change my mind?”

“Just apologize to her, Dean.”

Dean starts to protest, but Cas takes a seat and turns his attention back to the tablet. Cas only pulls out the “if I don’t look at you then I can’t listen to you” card when Dean is being particularly unreasonable, so Dean takes the hint and heads back to work.

Maybe they should just get married at the fucking courthouse and not tell anybody at all.

A couple days later, Cas asks Dean to leave work early so they can spend some time together. The request is a little bit weird, especially since they now live together and see each other all the time and sleep in the same bed together every night. But Sam insists that the shop won’t burn down without him, so Dean heads out around 6.

Cas is chopping up vegetables and throwing them into a bowl when Dean arrives, so he doesn’t notice his presence until Dean presses up behind him and boxes him in against the counter.

Cas immediately pushes his butt back to get Dean away from him. He then turns around and signs, “Can you put the burgers on the grill?”

Dean rolls his eyes and gives him a quick kiss. “Yeah, I can make the burgers. I also brought pie home for dessert.”

Cas’ face lights up at that. He then turns back to the vegetables.

It’s become habit for Dean to bring home treats from the shop, even though it’s also become habit for Cas to stop into the shop most days to get something to eat. Cas’ ass has been filling out his jeans a little better lately, and his stomach has rounded out in front of him just a bit. Dean loves it. He loves knowing that his baking put that extra weight there, that the amount that Dean spoils Cas is evidenced in his waistline.

There are a few quiet minutes where everything is on the grill or in the oven cooking, so they stand in the kitchen together to talk.

“I realized that I don’t know a whole lot about your past,” Cas starts.

Dean clears his throat but doesn’t bother to talk as he signs. “I can’t believe you enticed me with burgers and leaving work early so that you could trap me here to talk about myself.”

Cas smiles shyly. “You hate talking about yourself. That’s why I had to trick you.”

“I’m not giving you any pie.”

“That’s fine. Eating less means taking less time to eat, which means more time for talking.”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest and squints at Cas. He’s going to eat as slowly as possible tonight, and he’s going to use both hands the entire time.

Except the food is so damn good that he doesn’t take his time at all. He inhales it as if he hasn’t had a proper meal in a week because he hasn’t. Working all day every day means a lot of takeout and a lot of missed meals.

After his second burger, Dean leans back in his seat and puts a hand on his full belly. He presses his fingers hard into the taut skin to try to make some room as Cas goes back into the kitchen to cut the pie. There’s a bite of Cas’ burger left on his plate, so Dean leans forward and grabs it. He chews slowly and keeps a hand on his stomach.

Cas comes back with two plates with not just giant slices of pie but vanilla ice cream as well. As he sets Dean’s down in front of him, Dean signs, “This is going to postpone our conversation even more.”

Cas shrugs and digs into his pie.

They don’t move from the table when they’re done. Cas looks across at Dean expectantly but doesn’t raise his hands to sign. He hiccups a couple of times.

“Eat too much?” Dean asks.

“Yes. How did you and Cassie meet?”

Dean blinks and rubs his stomach while he thinks. “I traveled for work back then. She lived a couple hours from here, and I did a job for her mom while she was living with her. I was a one-night-stand kind of guy, but Cassie sort of changed that for a little bit. I really liked her.”

“What were you doing for work? I had no idea you were anything other than a baker your entire life.”

Dean laughs. “Pest control. I did odd jobs for a while until I decided to go to school to become a pastry chef. After my dad died, I was kind of free to do whatever I wanted. He probably rolled over in his grave the day I decided to be a baker.”

“What did he want you to do?”

“Go into the family business. But the family business was a dying hardware store in Lawrence, and I didn’t have the passion to try to revive it.”

“This is the first time you’ve ever mentioned your dad,” Cas signs, a serious set to his brow.

“Yeah, well, I don’t like talking about him.” Dean shrugs and then continues signing. “I wouldn’t be a baker or out of the closet or even fat if he was still alive, so I think we’re all better off without him.”

Cas smiles softly at Dean but then his face falls. “Am I the first man you’ve dated?”

“No? Maybe. I don’t really date people in general. Or at least, I didn’t date people before you. Cassie and Lisa were the only serious relationships I ever had before this.”

“You’ve mentioned Lisa.”

Dean sighs and slaps a hand to his gut once more. Nervous habit, he supposes. “Can we go to the living room? My ass is in need of a couch.”

It takes Cas a second to get to his feet, his hand pressed to his stomach as well. Dean laughs and pinches his love handle as they walk into the living room together.

Once they’re seated, Dean signs, “You’ll end up as big as me if you’re not careful.”

“Maybe if my fiance would stop bringing home pie, I wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

Dean can’t help himself. He pinches Cas’ side again. “It suits you. People would be suspicious if you were dating a baker and didn’t put on weight.”

“We were talking about Lisa,” Cas redirects with a roll of his eyes.

“It was right after Cassie. We were together for six months. I asked her to move in with me, and she said no.”

“Why?”

“Lisa had a kid. He was a baby at the time, and she didn’t want to drag me into fatherhood. She knew it was too much for me, even if I couldn’t recognize it myself.” He laughs affectionately at the memory of that conversation. “She said I was trying to replace Sam. I hadn't seen him in a while, and I felt like he didn’t need me anymore. It took a couple years for me to admit to myself that she was right.”

“She sounds like a smart woman.”

“Yeah, I was lucky. She was way more mature than I was, and I’m glad she knew what I needed better than I knew. Even if it was hard on both of us.”

Dean drops his hands and looks at the coffee table. After a few seconds, Cas scoots closer to him, rubs his shoulders and kisses his temple slowly. Dean closes his eyes and grabs Cas’ arm to ground himself.

When they get back to talking, Cas asks, "Why were you so willing to commit to Lisa after not wanting to commit to Cassie?"

"Ben," Dean responds easily. "I'm much better at committing to familial relationships than..." He pauses his hands and then admits, "Romantic ones."

And Cas, easy as ever, smiles at Dean and runs a hand through his hair, right behind his ear.

It overwhelms Dean, sometimes, that Cas seems to understand and accept him just the way he is with no questions asked. When he expects to be judged and misunderstood, he receives a smile and affection instead. It makes him wonder how Cas is so good at this whole relationship thing.  

So he asks him if he’s had any serious relationships.

Cas answers that before Dean, he hadn’t dated anybody in almost a decade.

Dean makes a noise of surprise, which Castiel doesn’t notice. Dean quickly signs that that’s insane and he doesn’t believe it’s possible that someone as handsome as Cas could’ve been on the market for so long.

With a shy smile, Cas replies, “Thank you, Dean, but I didn’t really go out of my way to date. I was focused on my career and my goal of becoming a foster parent. Plus, I’m deaf. I couldn’t just meet someone in a coffee shop.” He raises his eyebrows knowingly at Dean.

Dean grins widely back at him. “How stoked were you when you came into my shop and realized that this devastatingly handsome guy could speak your language?”

Cas ducks his head and blushes.

Dean chucks under his chin to get him to look up and then signs, “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Cas kisses the smile off his face.

The kiss deepens, so Dean grabs Cas by the hips and hauls him into his lap. Cas runs his hands up Dean’s belly, pinches a nipple, then wraps both arms around his neck to get closer.

After a moment, Dean pulls back and signs, “I think we should get married in the shop.”

**************************************

“You sure you want to get married in this shop?” Cassie asks skeptically before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Well, the tip jar gods have spoken."

Cassie just looks at him, unamused.

"I don’t really wanna make a big deal out of it.” Dean watches Claire and Alex walk through the front door and head toward the back. They give him a quick wave, and he smiles and nods his head. “A wedding, I mean,” he continues. “Cas and I...we have a, uh, good relationship. But it’s not—it ain’t big and romantic or anything like that. We got together in this shop, so it makes sense that we’d get married in this shop.”

The truth is that if he could use one word to describe his relationship with Cas, he’d call it quiet. Not because Castiel doesn’t talk, but because their love itself is quiet and undramatic. But god, he wouldn’t be caught dead saying that out loud.

“Dean?” Cassie asks.

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t hear anything I just said, did you?”

Dean scrubs a hand down his face and laughs. “No, sorry. What’d you say?”

“I was just asking you if Cas minds. If he minds that you’re not...super romantic?”

Cassie sounds so scared of offending Dean that he can’t help but bark out a loud laugh.

“I’m fucking sorry, Cassie."

“What?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t, uh, be with you in the capacity that you wanted. That I couldn’t commit.”

She holds her mug between her hands and rubs her thumbs nervously along the ceramic. “I, um, thought about it a lot after that day I saw you two. And, you know, thank you—for apologizing, thank you. But you’re already forgiven.” She takes a drink. “I saw how you and Castiel are. His love for you is easy, like breathing. I don’t even think he’d notice or care if you didn’t love him the same. God, that sounds bad when I say it like that, but—”

“No, I know what you mean.” Dean ducks his head as he feels a blush creeping up his neck. “It is easy. I never have to, uh, do anything to prove that I love him. Not that I felt that way with you, but…”

“You’ve felt that way in every relationship.”

Dean nods, still embarrassed.

“What are you thinking about?” Cassie asks after too much silence has passed between them.

“I, um—no, it’s nothing.”

“Dean.”

“Well, I just...You’re so good with words and I always loved reading your articles, so I was just wondering if I could, you know, steal some of what you just said for my vows?"

Cassie leans back in her seat and laughs. “Yes, Dean, you big sap.”

“Well, I, uh, should get back to it,” Dean says, pointing toward the counter.

“Hey.”

“Yeah, Cassie?”

“I’m happy for you. You’re not easy to love, so I’m glad you found somebody who thinks you are.”

“You know what, I’m gonna ignore the insult in that and take it as a compliment. Thank you,” he replies as he stands and flips her the bird.

Cassie just laughs and thanks him for the free coffee.

As Dean is making his way back to the kitchen, Sam smiles at him from behind the counter.

“What?” Dean asks, annoyed.

“Nothing. You guys are just cute.”

“My ex and I are cute.”

Sam shrugs. “Yeah. But, like, the way you are with Charlie. You’ve just grown up a lot, is all.”

“Alright, well. Whatever.”

“Hey, don’t forget you have to—”

“Leave early to pick up my tux. I got it, Sammy.” Dean finishes with a thumbs up and then goes into the kitchen.

He’s not nervous about marrying Castiel. They’ve been planning for the last month or so, and Dean hasn’t freaked out even once. Cas actually had a minor meltdown over the fact that he doesn’t have any family members attending and isn’t close enough to any of his friends to ask them to be his best man.

Claire oversaw the conversation and stepped in with a goofy smile, proclaiming, “Best man here!” without signing it.

Dean had laughed while Castiel looked between the two of them, annoyed. When Claire signed for him that she’d happily give him away, Cas’ entire demeanor had relaxed before he wrapped her in a tight hug.

They had one fight. Dean had assumed they didn’t need to even hold a conversation about the cake—Cas was marrying a fucking baker, after all. But then Castiel brought it up one night while they were lazily making out in bed, and Dean had laughed and asked him if he was joking.

“Why would I be joking? It’s important we have a cake at our wedding, we should discuss who’s going to make it. It takes weeks to—”

Dean had gently pressed the tips of his fingers to Cas’ wrist to get him to stop talking. He then signed, “You don’t want me to make the cake?”

“Why would you make the cake when you’re the one getting married? I don’t want you to have to deal with that responsibility on the day of our wedding.”

“I wouldn’t make it on the day of our wedding, silly. Trust me, I’d feel a lot better making it myself than trusting some other company to do it.”

“I just don’t want to put that stress on you.”

“Are you telling me you don’t like my cakes, Cas?”

Cas had slept on the couch that night, even though they were in his house. Claire had gotten a good laugh about it in the morning.

And the next day, Cas had apologized and told Dean that of course he should make the cake.

Some things with Cas are easy, like deciding that there would be absolutely no flowers at their wedding, and some things are hard, like Cas getting mad at Dean for trying to lose weight to look better in his tux.

(He hasn't lost any weight, and he'll find out today how he looks in his tux.)

As Dean is rolling dough to make croissants, he hears the back door open and then Cas’ hand curls its way around his shoulder. Dean turns his head and smiles at him before pressing their lips together softly. He then turns his attention back to the dough.

Cas’ hand slides down to Dean’s hip, his thumb pressing hard circles against his apron as he stands next to Dean and watches him work.

It takes Dean about five more minutes to get everything into the oven, and by that time Castiel is standing behind him with his arms locked onto his hips and his lips pressing insistently to his neck.

A spatula and some pot holders fall to the floor as Dean lets go of his last bit of self-control and turns around in Cas’ arms, yanking him closer and sealing their mouths together in a slow kiss. Castiel immediately pushes his tongue between Dean’s lips, so Dean grabs his ass and pushes their groins together.

Cas is hard, which is rare, so Dean takes advantage of it and rubs the palm of his hand over the front of his jeans. Cas gasps and tilts his head back, and Dean nips at his neck.

They still don’t really have an active sex life, but every once in a while Cas magically gets in the mood and pushes into Dean all gentle and slow and then moans way louder than necessary right into his ear.

The first time it happened, Dean was so relieved that he actually shed honest to god tears afterward. Cas, of course, panicked and sloppily signed if Dean was alright and if he did anything wrong and if he was hurt—

“No, baby, calm down. I was just worried we’d never do that.”

Cas had frowned at him and taken a long time to think before answering. His hand movements were sharp and unsure as he signed. “We've talked about this, Dean. I told you I don't really like sex. Sometimes I might be in the mood and then it's possible for me to enjoy it, but for the most part I just don't think about it or prefer it. But I’m sorry I rarely ever want to have sex. We can have sex regularly if you’d like. We can schedule it. That way I’ll be prepared for it and I’ll get used to it.”

Dean had laughed and covered his face with his hand. He then signed, “It’s OK. I was just really starting to think something was wrong with me, but now I know for sure that you’re just a little weird.”

“Thank you," Cas answered sarcastically. "It's nice to know that the love of my life thinks I'm weird."

"Love of your life? Can we maybe tone it down some?"

Cas shook his head no.

Dean ran his knuckles over Cas' cheek before signing, "I don't think you're weird. Plenty of people don't like sex. I haven't met any of them, but I'm sure they're out there."

Cas rolled his eyes and slapped at Dean's hands as his way of saying "shut up."

With a laugh, Dean had curled up next to him and buried his face in the crook of his neck. He squeezed his growing love handle then moved his hand up to his chest and drew an X over his heart.

Cas had sighed and pulled him closer.

Now, back in the kitchen, Castiel lets out an obscenely loud groan and Dean has to press his hand over his mouth. Dean is shaking with laughter, so he loses his rhythm over Cas’ groin, but it’s too late anyway. The door opens, and Dean jumps away from Cas innocently.

“Dean. Tux,” Sam says from the doorway, one hand covering his eyes.

“Right. Yeah.” He clears his throat awkwardly and takes Cas�� hand. “We’re going.”

Cas is laughing by the time they get out back to Dean’s car. Dean frowns at him before shoving him against the driver’s side and kissing his neck. Cas is still laughing as he wraps his arms around Dean’s back and slides them down to his ass.

After a minute or two, Dean pulls away so he can say, “It went well with Cassie today.”

Castiel smiles his soft, barely there smile and replies, “Do you feel better?”

“I do, yeah. She helped me figure out some things about our relationship, which was surprising."

“Good, I’m glad you’re figuring things out three weeks before you marry me.”

Dean punches him lightly in the shoulder and kisses him again. “I knew I wanted to marry you a long time ago, asshole. That part wasn’t hard to figure out.”

**************************************

At 3:47 p.m. on the day of Dean and Cas’ wedding, Sam bursts into the kitchen of the bakery and says, “We’ve got a problem.”

“Yeah, I know. I can’t tie this stupid bow tie,” Dean says from where he’s standing in front of the sink mirror futzing with his tie.

“No, Dean. A real problem.”

Dean turns in exasperation and gestures for his brother to get on with it.

“Every customer we’ve ever had in this place is at the door.”

Cas bursts through the door then, too, and signs, “We’re going to break fire code if we let all of these people in.”

“They won’t all fit anyway,” Sam replies. “We need to figure something else out.”

Dean scrubs a hand down his face and signs, “Cas, we’re not supposed to see each other.”

Cas makes an annoyed face at him. “As if you care about wedding traditions.”

“Dean!” Sam shouts. He takes a deep breath and signs, “We can’t just turn all these people away, all of them are loyal customers.”

Dean plants his hands on his hips and looks down in thought. “Give me some time to think, Sammy. Take Cas with you.”

“Dean, the ceremony starts in 12—”

“Five minutes!” Dean yells.

After they leave, Dean relaxes and closes his eyes. He then finally ties his bow tie on straight.

Five minutes later, Charlie, Alex and Kevin herd everyone out into the street and direct helpers to move the chairs outside. Because Jody is too busy to do it, Donna calls up some friends at the police force and by 3:58 p.m. the entire street has been shut down with cops manning both ends. The boutique on the other side of the street is the only business open this late on a Saturday, but Dean is friends with the owner, Tessa, so she had already closed her shop for the wedding anyway. Dean’s never felt so grateful for small town life.

At 4:07 p.m., Dean and Cas walk hand-in-hand down the middle of the street while their friends and random customers stand on either side and watch. When they get up to the makeshift alter (a music stand with a Bible on it and a small rug for them to stand on), Jody tells everyone to have a seat and thanks them all for coming even though they obviously didn’t RSVP.

Claire is standing on Cas’ side wearing a long, flowy red dress while Sam is on Dean’s side in a plain black tux just like Dean and Cas'. Eileen is standing next to Jody signing everything she says.

Dean barely hears any of it, and he definitely doesn’t see any of it either. He’s looking at Cas and swinging their hands between them and is just barely stopping himself from bouncing on his feet.

They sign their vows. The crowd seems a little miffed at the lack of translation, especially when Castiel tells Dean that loving him is the easiest thing he’s ever done and the people who understand sign language “aww” like a bunch of saps. Dean knows that actually speaking his vows would've cheapened the moment. He would've been so caught up in feeling embarrassed and vulnerable in front of all these people that it wouldn't have felt like it was about Castiel at all.

After they exchange rings, and right before they kiss, Dean puts a hand on Cas’ chest and then uses his index finger to draw an X right over his heart.

Cas grabs his hand, laces their fingers together and pulls him in for a kiss.

**************************************

"Oh my god, hurry up."

"Claire," Dean chastises. He waits for her to look at him before he continues, "Give him some space."

Claire takes the smallest of steps back and flashes a fake smile at Dean.

"OK! All done," Sam declares as he straightens up and hands the pen to Dean. He doesn't seem to notice that he almost smacked right into Claire when he stood up.

Dean looks at the document and nods at Sam and Eileen's signatures. He then turns toward Cas and signs, "We're officially married. Licensed and everything."

Castiel gives the sign for "OK," then he looks very seriously over at the guest in the room.

"OK, and now the more important one," Billie says as she pulls out a large folder full of papers and sets it directly on top of the marriage license. "You know the drill, I only need one more signature from each of you. Semantics."

Dean hands a pen to Cas and points at the paper where he's supposed to sign. Once they've both signed it, Claire claps her hands together and exclaims, "Fuck yeah."

"Hey, watch your language, young lady," Dean says with a smile. "Don't talk like that in front of your fathers."

"I turn 18 in two days, you can't control me." Claire flips Dean the bird with both hands and moves them up and down in rhythm.

Cas taps Dean's shoulder and then signs, "Why is our daughter flipping you off?"

Dean winks at him. "She's just excited."

"I can't believe we pulled this off," Claire says. "Making sure you guys got married before adopting me. I mean, holy shit, I turn 18 in two days."

Dean puts his arm around Cas and kisses his temple. He then says, "Well, yeah, it's a shotgun wedding."

[demitgibbs]

Screen Queen: Fall 2018

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

For over 30 years, national treasure Fred Rogers welcomed kids who felt different to his “neighborhood.” Maybe you were there, enchanted by the trolley and talking puppets. Maybe you, like me, felt like you didn’t fit in with the other kids, and maybe, again like me, Mr. Rogers made you feel more at home in this big, scary world – for 30 minutes every day during his longtime PBS children’s show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, anyway. Uncertain, divisive times like ours call for another soul-soothing balm, and documentarian Morgan Neville, who rightfully won an Oscar for 20 Feet From Stardom, delivers just that with his Rogers-centered doc Won’t You Be My Neighbor?. Perhaps most surprising to those watching his show as a child: Rogers was a quiet gay and civil rights activist, demonstrated by the casting of gay, black actor François Clemmons, who portrayed Officer Clemmons.

In the doc, Clemmons extols Rogers’ no-barriers-for-love inclusiveness and compassion for everyone, recalling his special bond with Rogers, whom he considered a father figure. Beyond interviews with Neighborhood cast members and Rogers’ kin, as well as archival conversations with Rogers himself, vintage footage dating back to the show’s 1968 premiere is featured, including an early episode with Rogers as his alter-ego cat puppet, Daniel Striped Tiger, expressing through song feelings of inferiority. It’ll wring your eyes dry, but save some tears for the rest of this moving trip down memory lane, a tightly constructed tribute to Rogers’ philosophies on love and kindness for a world still trying to grasp both. Love, Simon You can think Love, Simon isn’t enough because it isn’t. Not yet, anyway. Gay culture has long reveled in queer art-films with niche-queer narratives, where societal pressures befell closeted cowboys in Brokeback Mountain, and where homosexuality and blackness intersected in Moonlight. Comparatively, Love, Simon is one serviceable but slighter-in-scope pop bop. But if you saw it in a theater with crying teens and their crying moms, like I did, then you know the movie’s banality alone – finally, gay people get their John Hughes film – is groundbreaking.

Directed by Greg Berlanti from a script based on 2016’s young-adult bestseller Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, I didn’t expect Love, Simon to deliver high-brow gay cinema – not if its first order of business was to let queerness live in many of the same rom-com conventions as any Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Garner lovefest. And on that same massive level, in wide release on the big screen, where gay teen Simon miserably navigates out-gay life at high school as he searches for “Blue,” an unidentified, closeted schoolmate he’s confided in through an emotionally invested email exchange. The proceedings are richly gay and heartwarming and nostalgic: a Whitney Houston musical number, a shamelessly ’80s-by-way-of-John Hughes sensibility and an affirming tearjerker of a mom speech from Garner herself. I cried lots, and its cathartic sweetness – being the great love story it promised to be – charmed me and the Simon I once was. A deleted scene featuring actor-slash-dreamboat Colton Haynes is among the Blu-ray’s special features, which also includes more deleted scenes, a Berlanti commentary and a book-to-screen featurette. Also Out A Raisin in the Sun Even after Lorraine Hansberry adapted her 1959 play A Raisin in the Sun – the first play by a black woman to be performed on Broadway – for the silver screen, the 1961 film, directed by Daniel Petrie, preserved the theatrical simplicity of the source material. The story’s familial and racial tensions also remained fraught with complications: A money-strapped black family, the Youngers, living in close quarters in the Chicago slums in the 1950s contend with how to best spend a $10,000 life-insurance check – their chance at a fresh start.

That fresh start looks different for single mother and grandmother Lena Younger (Claudia McNeil), her daughter Beneatha (Diana Sands), her son Walter (Sidney Poitier), plus his wife Ruth (Ruby Dee) and their son Travis (Stephen Perry). Tremendous performances – particularly Poitier and McNeil as the family’s willful rock, which she inhabits with true grit and grace – are the touchstones of Hansberry’s moving portrait of a black family hoping to rise above the economic and cultural forces against them, and the firsthand destruction it causes when they can’t. But joy – find it, the film suggests, even if the world won’t let you have it. Criterion Collection’s Blu-ray restoration of the classic gleans an array of well-rounded supplemental material, including interview features with Hansberry and Petrie. Blockers

Here’s what the Blockers trailer tells you: three teenagers are on a mission to get laid on prom night and their parents are freaking out. What it doesn’t tell you is that one of those, Sam (Gideon Adlon), is a closeted lesbian. Cue the supportive dad, Miles (Ike Barinholtz), who suspects his daughter will be the only boy-averse girl of that girlfriend group, while the other parents, Lisa (Leslie Mann) and Mitchell (John Cena), have a parental meltdown and embark on a mad chase to cock-block their kids.

Desperate to shut down their impending sexcapades after decoding a series of suggestive emojis, which is funny because watching parents try to figure out modern-day technology will forever be funny, Lisa, Miles and Mitchell go to raunchy extremes to save their children’s virginity. I laughed plenty at the ridiculous gags (one involving Gina Gershon playing naked Marco Polo with her husband), but what threw me was the film’s sweet, emotional through line, set in motion in the beginning when Mann, perfect in scenes where heart and humor collide, desperately tries to pretend to be OK with her college-bound daughter leaving the nest. Something else to celebrate besides Mann: sex comedies with high schoolers where one just so happens to be a lesbian. Yes and thank you, Hollywood.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/18/screen-queen-fall-2018/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/179180151655

[cynthiajayusa]

Screen Queen: Fall 2018

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

For over 30 years, national treasure Fred Rogers welcomed kids who felt different to his “neighborhood.” Maybe you were there, enchanted by the trolley and talking puppets. Maybe you, like me, felt like you didn’t fit in with the other kids, and maybe, again like me, Mr. Rogers made you feel more at home in this big, scary world – for 30 minutes every day during his longtime PBS children’s show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, anyway. Uncertain, divisive times like ours call for another soul-soothing balm, and documentarian Morgan Neville, who rightfully won an Oscar for 20 Feet From Stardom, delivers just that with his Rogers-centered doc Won’t You Be My Neighbor?. Perhaps most surprising to those watching his show as a child: Rogers was a quiet gay and civil rights activist, demonstrated by the casting of gay, black actor François Clemmons, who portrayed Officer Clemmons.

In the doc, Clemmons extols Rogers’ no-barriers-for-love inclusiveness and compassion for everyone, recalling his special bond with Rogers, whom he considered a father figure. Beyond interviews with Neighborhood cast members and Rogers’ kin, as well as archival conversations with Rogers himself, vintage footage dating back to the show’s 1968 premiere is featured, including an early episode with Rogers as his alter-ego cat puppet, Daniel Striped Tiger, expressing through song feelings of inferiority. It’ll wring your eyes dry, but save some tears for the rest of this moving trip down memory lane, a tightly constructed tribute to Rogers’ philosophies on love and kindness for a world still trying to grasp both. Love, Simon You can think Love, Simon isn’t enough because it isn’t. Not yet, anyway. Gay culture has long reveled in queer art-films with niche-queer narratives, where societal pressures befell closeted cowboys in Brokeback Mountain, and where homosexuality and blackness intersected in Moonlight. Comparatively, Love, Simon is one serviceable but slighter-in-scope pop bop. But if you saw it in a theater with crying teens and their crying moms, like I did, then you know the movie’s banality alone – finally, gay people get their John Hughes film – is groundbreaking.

Directed by Greg Berlanti from a script based on 2016’s young-adult bestseller Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, I didn’t expect Love, Simon to deliver high-brow gay cinema – not if its first order of business was to let queerness live in many of the same rom-com conventions as any Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Garner lovefest. And on that same massive level, in wide release on the big screen, where gay teen Simon miserably navigates out-gay life at high school as he searches for “Blue,” an unidentified, closeted schoolmate he’s confided in through an emotionally invested email exchange. The proceedings are richly gay and heartwarming and nostalgic: a Whitney Houston musical number, a shamelessly ’80s-by-way-of-John Hughes sensibility and an affirming tearjerker of a mom speech from Garner herself. I cried lots, and its cathartic sweetness – being the great love story it promised to be – charmed me and the Simon I once was. A deleted scene featuring actor-slash-dreamboat Colton Haynes is among the Blu-ray’s special features, which also includes more deleted scenes, a Berlanti commentary and a book-to-screen featurette. Also Out A Raisin in the Sun Even after Lorraine Hansberry adapted her 1959 play A Raisin in the Sun – the first play by a black woman to be performed on Broadway – for the silver screen, the 1961 film, directed by Daniel Petrie, preserved the theatrical simplicity of the source material. The story’s familial and racial tensions also remained fraught with complications: A money-strapped black family, the Youngers, living in close quarters in the Chicago slums in the 1950s contend with how to best spend a $10,000 life-insurance check – their chance at a fresh start.

That fresh start looks different for single mother and grandmother Lena Younger (Claudia McNeil), her daughter Beneatha (Diana Sands), her son Walter (Sidney Poitier), plus his wife Ruth (Ruby Dee) and their son Travis (Stephen Perry). Tremendous performances – particularly Poitier and McNeil as the family’s willful rock, which she inhabits with true grit and grace – are the touchstones of Hansberry’s moving portrait of a black family hoping to rise above the economic and cultural forces against them, and the firsthand destruction it causes when they can’t. But joy – find it, the film suggests, even if the world won’t let you have it. Criterion Collection’s Blu-ray restoration of the classic gleans an array of well-rounded supplemental material, including interview features with Hansberry and Petrie. Blockers

Here’s what the Blockers trailer tells you: three teenagers are on a mission to get laid on prom night and their parents are freaking out. What it doesn’t tell you is that one of those, Sam (Gideon Adlon), is a closeted lesbian. Cue the supportive dad, Miles (Ike Barinholtz), who suspects his daughter will be the only boy-averse girl of that girlfriend group, while the other parents, Lisa (Leslie Mann) and Mitchell (John Cena), have a parental meltdown and embark on a mad chase to cock-block their kids.

Desperate to shut down their impending sexcapades after decoding a series of suggestive emojis, which is funny because watching parents try to figure out modern-day technology will forever be funny, Lisa, Miles and Mitchell go to raunchy extremes to save their children’s virginity. I laughed plenty at the ridiculous gags (one involving Gina Gershon playing naked Marco Polo with her husband), but what threw me was the film’s sweet, emotional through line, set in motion in the beginning when Mann, perfect in scenes where heart and humor collide, desperately tries to pretend to be OK with her college-bound daughter leaving the nest. Something else to celebrate besides Mann: sex comedies with high schoolers where one just so happens to be a lesbian. Yes and thank you, Hollywood.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/18/screen-queen-fall-2018/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/10/screen-queen-fall-2018.html

[hotspotsmagazine]

Screen Queen: Fall 2018

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

For over 30 years, national treasure Fred Rogers welcomed kids who felt different to his “neighborhood.” Maybe you were there, enchanted by the trolley and talking puppets. Maybe you, like me, felt like you didn’t fit in with the other kids, and maybe, again like me, Mr. Rogers made you feel more at home in this big, scary world – for 30 minutes every day during his longtime PBS children’s show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, anyway. Uncertain, divisive times like ours call for another soul-soothing balm, and documentarian Morgan Neville, who rightfully won an Oscar for 20 Feet From Stardom, delivers just that with his Rogers-centered doc Won’t You Be My Neighbor?. Perhaps most surprising to those watching his show as a child: Rogers was a quiet gay and civil rights activist, demonstrated by the casting of gay, black actor François Clemmons, who portrayed Officer Clemmons.

In the doc, Clemmons extols Rogers’ no-barriers-for-love inclusiveness and compassion for everyone, recalling his special bond with Rogers, whom he considered a father figure. Beyond interviews with Neighborhood cast members and Rogers’ kin, as well as archival conversations with Rogers himself, vintage footage dating back to the show’s 1968 premiere is featured, including an early episode with Rogers as his alter-ego cat puppet, Daniel Striped Tiger, expressing through song feelings of inferiority. It’ll wring your eyes dry, but save some tears for the rest of this moving trip down memory lane, a tightly constructed tribute to Rogers’ philosophies on love and kindness for a world still trying to grasp both. Love, Simon You can think Love, Simon isn’t enough because it isn’t. Not yet, anyway. Gay culture has long reveled in queer art-films with niche-queer narratives, where societal pressures befell closeted cowboys in Brokeback Mountain, and where homosexuality and blackness intersected in Moonlight. Comparatively, Love, Simon is one serviceable but slighter-in-scope pop bop. But if you saw it in a theater with crying teens and their crying moms, like I did, then you know the movie’s banality alone – finally, gay people get their John Hughes film – is groundbreaking.

Directed by Greg Berlanti from a script based on 2016’s young-adult bestseller Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, I didn’t expect Love, Simon to deliver high-brow gay cinema – not if its first order of business was to let queerness live in many of the same rom-com conventions as any Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Garner lovefest. And on that same massive level, in wide release on the big screen, where gay teen Simon miserably navigates out-gay life at high school as he searches for “Blue,” an unidentified, closeted schoolmate he’s confided in through an emotionally invested email exchange. The proceedings are richly gay and heartwarming and nostalgic: a Whitney Houston musical number, a shamelessly ’80s-by-way-of-John Hughes sensibility and an affirming tearjerker of a mom speech from Garner herself. I cried lots, and its cathartic sweetness – being the great love story it promised to be – charmed me and the Simon I once was. A deleted scene featuring actor-slash-dreamboat Colton Haynes is among the Blu-ray��s special features, which also includes more deleted scenes, a Berlanti commentary and a book-to-screen featurette. Also Out A Raisin in the Sun Even after Lorraine Hansberry adapted her 1959 play A Raisin in the Sun – the first play by a black woman to be performed on Broadway – for the silver screen, the 1961 film, directed by Daniel Petrie, preserved the theatrical simplicity of the source material. The story’s familial and racial tensions also remained fraught with complications: A money-strapped black family, the Youngers, living in close quarters in the Chicago slums in the 1950s contend with how to best spend a $10,000 life-insurance check – their chance at a fresh start.

That fresh start looks different for single mother and grandmother Lena Younger (Claudia McNeil), her daughter Beneatha (Diana Sands), her son Walter (Sidney Poitier), plus his wife Ruth (Ruby Dee) and their son Travis (Stephen Perry). Tremendous performances – particularly Poitier and McNeil as the family’s willful rock, which she inhabits with true grit and grace – are the touchstones of Hansberry’s moving portrait of a black family hoping to rise above the economic and cultural forces against them, and the firsthand destruction it causes when they can’t. But joy – find it, the film suggests, even if the world won’t let you have it. Criterion Collection’s Blu-ray restoration of the classic gleans an array of well-rounded supplemental material, including interview features with Hansberry and Petrie. Blockers

Here’s what the Blockers trailer tells you: three teenagers are on a mission to get laid on prom night and their parents are freaking out. What it doesn’t tell you is that one of those, Sam (Gideon Adlon), is a closeted lesbian. Cue the supportive dad, Miles (Ike Barinholtz), who suspects his daughter will be the only boy-averse girl of that girlfriend group, while the other parents, Lisa (Leslie Mann) and Mitchell (John Cena), have a parental meltdown and embark on a mad chase to cock-block their kids.

Desperate to shut down their impending sexcapades after decoding a series of suggestive emojis, which is funny because watching parents try to figure out modern-day technology will forever be funny, Lisa, Miles and Mitchell go to raunchy extremes to save their children’s virginity. I laughed plenty at the ridiculous gags (one involving Gina Gershon playing naked Marco Polo with her husband), but what threw me was the film’s sweet, emotional through line, set in motion in the beginning when Mann, perfect in scenes where heart and humor collide, desperately tries to pretend to be OK with her college-bound daughter leaving the nest. Something else to celebrate besides Mann: sex comedies with high schoolers where one just so happens to be a lesbian. Yes and thank you, Hollywood.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/18/screen-queen-fall-2018/

[emulatingrizal-blog]

Love Always Wins

Love Always Wins A Short Story

 The sun was already high up even when it was still two hours after sunrise. The roads that lead to the church were already dried up from the mist that wet them the dawn before. Everyone in the barangay was on their best clothes and walking on the same road path. Carmen and her family were on their way to the town to attend Padre Damaso’s mass. Carmen was always feeling happy and light-hearted every Sunday because of the things that her faith in the church has showed her.

But this Sunday was different. She woke up before the wake of dawn feeling positive, as she has always been every Sunday. She prepared breakfast for her husband, Julio, and her son, Antonio, while they are still asleep, and then she cleaned the house and the yard. After which, she woke them up to eat. Everything was going well according to plan but Antonio doesn’t want to go up.

“’Nay, I don’t want to go to church today,” Antonio declared. Carmen was surprised by her son’s behaviour. She didn’t know why but there was something wrong. Antonio isn’t even sick as she felt his neck against the back of her hand.  “No, you can’t miss today’s mass. We never miss Padre Damaso’s Sunday mass. You aren’t even sick!” Carmen exclaimed.

“But ‘Nay, he doesn’t even practice what he preach,” Antonio answered. Carmen was flabbergasted by her son’s words and did not understand what her son was talking about. She did not say anything anymore; she can’t take it anymore. She went outside Antonio’s sleeping place and fixed her and her family’s Sunday outfits.

For all she knew, Padre Damaso was a great priest for the San Diego community, and he was even a better ruler for the town than be a priest in the church! She cannot think of why her son was saying such things. She had no idea, but she was disturbed by her son’s exclamations so she can’t concentrate on her day.

But the family still went. They still ate the breakfast Carmen cooked. Antonio did not complain anymore of going to church because he felt his mother’s hurt feelings about the words he said, so he still went to the church for his mother.

People have now gathered at the church. Carmen and her family have come to sit at the third row of chairs. They always have taken their seats there. It’s like those chairs were their own now, after years of consistently sitting at those same chairs. Padre Damaso was now on the vicinity, taking care that everything was set all right for his mass. How Carmen loved the organization of Padre Damaso. Yes, he was strict and somehow righteous, but Carmen didn’t care for he was the link for Carmen and God Almighty.

Padre Damaso’s masses were preceded just the same, with teachings by God and what things must be done to gain Salvation. Carmen was very much concerned in this Salvation, and she is also eager for her husband and son to get the same. After all, if she will be saved, who else would she like to be with, in the promised heaven of God? She had to do everything Padre Damaso says and commands then, and that’s why Carmen was always helpful in the church’s activities and she will always encourage both her son and husband to do the same.

At the middle of the homily, Padre Damaso jokingly and laughingly said “Kaya yung mga babae d’yan, mahihirapan makahanap ng boyfriend na gwapo. Yung iba, pari na kagaya ko, at ‘yung iba naman, mga bakla. Hahaha”. This triggered Antonio’s feelings because he, himself, is a gay and he strongly believes that there is nothing wrong with it. Antonio chose to remain silent regarding this topic because even his religious parents will not understand his feelings. Carmen noticed her son’s uncomfortable aura but Antonio said he was just not feeling well when asked if there was something wrong.

Next Sunday came, Antonio was supposed to attend a political educational discussion at the afternoon, but his mother again successfully persuaded him to attend church in the morning even if he didn’t want to attend. Padre Damaso’s preach that day was about a recent issue about a controversial ad of a famous clothing line with endorsers belonging to the LGBT community. Padre Damaso said that same sex marriage must not be legal in the Philippines because marriage is a sacred sacrament of the church and it must only be between a man and a woman. Padre Damaso emphasized “According to Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, a man lying with another man instead of his wife is considered an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. Kaya hindi talaga ito dapat ipatupad sa Pilipinas” He ended his homily saying “Same-sex marriage is immoral” and that gained approving nods from the religious devout of the church.

Antonio thought that he must keep his true gender a secret because other people including his family won’t accept the fact that he is gay and he has a boyfriend. However, a co-churchmate saw him in the television news, rallying and fighting for free education and also for same-sex marriage. Because her mother Carmen is a devout of the church and his father is a former barangay captain, the news spread like a plague in their town. His family was enraged by this news because their beloved unico hijo defied the rules of the church and their family’s name was destroyed and tainted with bad image. Antonio’s father, Pablo, being clouded by his anger and disappointment, punched Antonio right after he entered their house, “Bakla ka? Bakit hindi mo agad sinabi? Put*! Sirang-sira na pamilya natin dahil sayo, hayop ka”. Carmen, who was currently sobbing and crying hard, prayed to the Lord to help their family, to ease the anger of her husband, and to forgive the sins of her son. She treated Antonio’s wounds and hugged him tight to ease his feelings, “Tanggap kita anak kahit ano ka pa, pero nasaktan lang kami ng tatay mo kasi sa iba pa namin nalaman.” Antonio deeply apologized to his mom and said he will try to fix and clear their family’s name.

 After 2 days, Antonio decided to contact his friends in the LGBT community and planned to make a project to spread awareness to Filipino citizens that homophobism is not a sin and people in LGBT community are not devils nor monsters. The project is called #LoveWins which has the advocacy that marriage is not limited being about between a man and a woman, but between love and love. It emphasized that love is not about the gender, but about love. This project also promoted that love and respect must be given to every human, regardless of the gender because giving raised brows, ridiculing and bullying is also against the commandments of the Lord. In addition, it is not directly stated in the Bible that homophobism is a sin.

 After 5 months, the #LoveWins project were supported by many people nationally and internationally, due to exerted efforts of the LGBT community and support of many people around the world. The people who ridiculed and bullied Antonio and all the people of the LGBT community realized how wrong they are and apologized for their wrongdoings. The Roman Catholic church was also convinced that there is nothing wrong on being gay, bisexual, transgender or lesbian, because we are all children of God and must be accepted for who we are.

Everything was going well in Antonio’s life until one night, while he was walking on their way home from school, he was forcefully dragged by two policemen and was allegedly accused being a drug pusher. The next morning, he was found dead in the street and later investigations showed that he was shut by a gun in the head when he denied the drug use accusation. His death caused a tremendous downfall in his family and caused a rising outrage of the public against the authorities. When the policemen were interviewed, they said Antonio is being linked as one of the major drug pushers in the city and their source was a well-respected individual in the community. Little did the people know that it was Padre Damaso, who was a homophobe and who felt humiliated by Antonio’s successful advocacy regarding same-sex marriage. He told the city mayor who reported to the policemen that Antonio was a drug dealer as he continually rallied and fought against the extrajudicial killings under the current administration.

-2014-20502