#i rmb it was mostly just probably a lack of recitation that maybe pulled me down a bit
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i wna write
#🌙.rambles#just abt anything n everything really#even if it's not particularly good or just a dump from my messy head#i've always loved to write#yeah i've always been an open person in terms of how i express myself#i loved painting as well when i was a kid >.>#n i learned the piano too yeah music#but then aside from creatives i also performed well in school#i rmb it was mostly just probably a lack of recitation that maybe pulled me down a bit#bruh i've always been generally quiet but loud when i'm comfy huh#hmm one thing i like about myself is my intelligence#it's pretty balanced out just the way i've grown to like it. one way i love myself#i'm far from the smartest. i'm no genius. but i am naturally smart#part of my intelligence is my curiosity and capacity for deep emotions and my capability to learn quickly#but i'm somewhere in this weird clash of still 'fitting in' and feeling so out of place#it often feels like i don't belong in this world. with societal expectations n all that#i still perform well. i can't deny that. but it weighs me down n makes me do worse than i would have otherwise#i'm gna read n write more again. of all sorts of things#there's no end to what i want to learn from all aspects of life.#from stories to games to sciences to peoples to . everything#wah i have sm to do perhaps it wld be a waste to regret when i cld allocate that time for the future instead#costantly confused with an abundance of dilemmas and questions#it's interesting though. that's why i keep on going. there's so much more left to see and experience and learn and understand#i will not leave anything undone until i accomplish all that i can. i will not lose.#n along the way i hope to find more of myself. more meanign each n every time. people and memories. lessons and stories.#the vast depth of life intrigues me. even if i feel like i'm not a part of it then oh well i can observe from afar for now#someday i hope somewhere in myself i can finally allow myself to accept all that for me as well. properly. wholly#idk i have a habit of ending up treating things like work;; my innate sensitivity makes me overthink n overanalyze easily n. help wait#im doing that to myself again >.> idk i think i want to read more to see from other's perspectives#bcs most of what i know isn't actually from idk informative books. nah this is from my life n my thinking n emotions
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