#but then aside from creatives i also performed well in school

[noxtivagus]

i wna write

[anthroamazed]

tips for stem majors in math and science courses (spoonie + neurodivergent friendly)

hi y’all! my nameis lila and i’m a 28 year old physics and anthropology major who’s about 2 years through college (in the US)! as we’re coming up on the start of the fall ‘23 college semester, i thought i might share some really solid hacks for fellow STEM students taking science and/or math courses that i’ve basically built my college academic career on. and! these study tips are spoonie and adhd friendly! as a matter of fact, a lot of these are tips/methods that specifically work for me as a neurodivergent spoonie (i have pretty severe adhd, as well as POTS and ME/CFS), but that i think non-disabled/non-spoonie and/or neurotypical students could also benefit from using! so with out any further ado, here are my 7 tried and true study hacks for college math and science classes…

1) discover your learning style and tailor your studying towards leveraging it.

you’ve probably heard of visual, audio, and kinesthetic learning styles, but did you now there’s actually way more learning styles than just those three? i’m personally a “social learner,” meaning i learn best through discussion and socialization with 1+ other people to interact with. this could look like teaching other classmates concepts and methods that we’ve learned or discussing ideas with classmates and/or professors until i fully understand the concepts at play and how they connect and can reflect them in performing analysis and application, etc. honestly, figuring out my learning style was hands down one of the most helpful things i’ve done in college. it has allowed me to choose professors who i will mesh better with in terms of how they teach, as well as to adapt materials and methods to my style of learning in order to master them quicker and more effectively.

2) rewrite your notes after lecture, for the love of god.

this tip actually comes from my high school IB Math HL teacher, who told me to do this when i originally left high school for college. even if you think you’ve mastered the basics of the topic covered during the lecture, rewriting those notes after lecture helps really hammer in the knowledge that you’ve already established and also helps to get the wheels turning on pieces of information you might have less of a grasp on. try tp set aside at least 30 - 40 minutes after class to just rewrite your notes and try to really digest the information.

3) body doubling is one of the most beneficial things ever to be invented even if you’re not adhd, and i WILL die on that hill, thank you very much.

“body doubling” or “having an accountabilibuddy” are interchangeable terms in the adhd community that mean you have one or more consistent study buddy/buddies who you do all the homework and/or studying with in person on a regular basis, even if you’re just working next to each other in total silence. this does a couple of things. first off, it forces homework/assignments/studying to become a concrete social obligation you need to regularly show up for, rather than a nebulous obligation based on an invisible deadline. second off, it gives you 1+ partners to work out your problems concerning course topics with. third off, it allows you to build a network of peers where you feel comfortable helping each other with course material (this is especially great because it’s likely you and your classmates have different strengths regarding course content). tbh, body doubling is the other method that i, personally, have found most useful in college and i highly recommend trying it, even if you don’t have adhd.

4) teach others/your classmates the analysis and application methods you’ve learned, even if those methods aren’t 100% solidified for you (trust me on this).

the goal of stem courses is never memorization, but rather being able to understand a topic well enough to analyze a similar situation and apply the what you’ve learned creatively. this is where teaching others comes in. in order to teach others a concept and its related analysis and application well, you have to have at least a fraction of a decent understanding of these things yourself, and, further, often time in teaching these things you also learn to grasp the concepts/aanalysis/applications even better than you did before with each new teaching session. basically: teaching others is a creative way of also teaching yourself. you get the benefits of repetition, of thinking about a concept/technique/analysis and application in a new way, and of getting to apply the concept/technique/analysis and applicatioin to a new scenario each time. plus, you’ll typically make friends quickly in the process! there’s really no downside to this tip imo ;-)

5) utilize your college’s tutoring center/program(s), even when you don’t think you need to.

usually colleges have either set up a general “tutoring center,” on campus where you can find tutors for all different kinds of topics and courses available during regular hours for walk-in sessions and/or appointments free of charge or departments will hold regular weekly (or twice weekly) free on-campus tutoring sessions for specific courses. regardless of which of these options your college has, i highly recommend attending at least one tutoring session/appointment (ideally with the same tutor if/when you eventually find one you click with) every single week, even when you don’t feel like you’re struggling with the topic(s) covered in that week’s lecture. this will help you review topics and techniques covered in lecture, deepen your understanding of them, and, if nothing else, it’s an excuse to get homework out of the way while having someone else there who can help you if/when you get stuck. attending at least one session weekly also helps you get into a habit and routine of keeping up with your assignments, so you’re not left scrambling at the last minute before they’re due.

6) if you have accommodations, request access to record lectures. if you do not have accommodations, ask your professor if you are allowed to record lectures. IF YOU RECORD LECTURES, DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW THEM!

okay, so first up for my fellow spoonies and neurodivergent peeps: when you apply for/renew your accommodations, make sure that “recordinng lectures” is on your MOA (memorandum of accommodations), because so long as it is, your professors legally cannot deny you permission to record lectures without risk of themself and the college being sued for an ADA violation. also, make friends with a classmate and ask them to record lectures and send them to you if/when you are absent (let the professor know that you’ve asked this classmate to record and send you the lecture if you are absent)

now, if you aren’t disabled, a spoonie, and/or neurodivergent, you aren’t guaranteed permission to record lectures. however. ask the professor if you can have their permission to audio record lectures (be sure to also let them know that such a recording would be for personal use only and that you don’t plan on distributing the recordings). i’ve found that many professors don’t mind you having an audio recording.

even if you aren’t an audible learner it can be really useful to have these recordings to review at a later point. oftentimes reviewing lecture recordings can be useful if you glazed over and missed a section of the lecture and/or if you can’t remember what a professor taught during a section of a lecture.

7) last but not least, on a related note, if you have accommodations, also request access to your professor’s lecture notes. if you don’t have accommodations, check if your professor posts their lecture notes for students to use.

having your professor’s notes can be extremely useful for review purposes, but they can also help you understand where your professor is going with course content and what they want to stress as important.

[aromantic-diaries]

Okay, so! Saw the post about being shocked that prom is a real thing, and I have a bit of a long roundabout question.

I am an american aroace who went to prom all of once, and I think the concept is both dumb and overrated. I went because a foreign exchange student in our friend group wanted to go and wanted all of us to come (only two people had dates, the rest of us went in a big gaggle of friends).

Prom was. . Very weird. I had a lot of fun with the pre-prom, where we threw knives and axes and played board games, but at the actual dance, I just sat with two other friends that I strongly suspect are also aspec and we read Goose Girl until we couldn't hear over the music and then played hangman the whole time. I danced the waltz with my brother once (competitve ballroom dancer who actually knew what he was doing), and we all did the chicken dance, and we otherwise sat at a table in the back the whole time. We were very weirded out by the mutliple mosh pits formed and didn't get point of slow dancing if you don't know any dance steps.

I am curious about big traditional romantic events that other cultures/places have and how the aromantic community experienced it differently. Like, there's obviously the whole thinking it is dumb and/or overrated aspect, but did you or anyone you know go to any traditional romantic events and kinda miss the point of the experience and do something you weren't really supposed to instead, like I did?

Sorry this is so long, and sorry if it doesn't make sense, I'm just curious about how this kind of thing worked out for other aros.

We have somewhat of a similar tradition in hungary but it's not quite the same as american prom. It's an event held for the graduating classes every year and the main point is when you and your classmates receive this ribbon that I think is sort of symbolic of you reaching the end of high school and beginning to prepare for adulthood or something, it's a landmark of sorts. Aside from the ribbons there's also speeches given by the teachers and the principal, as well as teachers, every class has to make a video (most were montages of photos and videos from over the years but my class made a short film where everyone said something they remembered from school and we were all filmed from our worst angles) and there is dancing but unlike american prom, it's a performance. There's a waltz where everyone dresses up in fancy clothes, and the class dance which is more modern and each class has to get creative. Both of them are choreographed and are performed in front of your parents, teachers and other loved ones at the event, and though the waltz is done in pairs it is hardly romantic, my class had one pair who were actually a couple. The two trans guys in my grade who were out as trans got to dance as guys but I wasn't so lucky since I'm closeted and had to put my dysphoria aside and wear a dress. I also had to take a bullet for all the girls in my class because I got paired up with the one guy I'm pretty sure nobody wanted to dance with (he's not a bad person, just kind of weird), it was mostly because I was taller than pretty much all the girls and also a lot of the guys in my class and he was among the taller ones. Between the dances there were also musical performances by people from my school to give us time while changing. There's an after party once the event is done which is usually held at some club but before you leave there's some time for the students to dance with their parents, my dad didn't dance with me cause I think he knew I hated this whole ordeal and I'm quite thankful because the cheap fancy-looking shoes I got for the event were hurting my feet like hell.

The preparation for the whole thing was an absolute nightmare, the dance practices were dreadful, acquiring the dress for the waltz was stressful as hell, but it all did come together nicely in the end. Most of the time it's held in winter but ours was much earlier in october so we had much less time to prepare. To tell you the truth I don't think I was quite there mentally when it finally went down, I just spaced out and temporarily got replaced with a pretty girl. My friends didn't even recognize me at first and it's not like I even had a drastic makeover other than putting on a nice dress, the only makeup I had on was colored chapstick. The whole thing feels less like a memory of something that actually happened and more like a weird dream that I know was vivid when I had it but faded into vague details once I woke up.

[encouraging-growth]

Hiatus

Hi all.

Today I come to you to discuss something that I’ve been in severe denial of for a very long time: I’m burnt out and want to stop making content. To find out why, continue reading below the cut.

Well, perhaps “burnt out” isn’t necessarily the correct phrase, but rather I’ve been feeling a lot of detachment and even despair regarding my audios/fics for well over a year (more heavily since grad school started last August). I feel like I’m always behind, never able to catch up, never able to get ahead, and, most frequently as of late, never in the mood to work on anything. In fact, it feels like a burden more often than not, especially during the school year (which is understandable, considering, y’know, schoolwork), but even during the summer, I find myself struggling to want to put anything out.

Starting Beautiful Things has only exacerbated the issue. I feel incredibly passionate about Beautiful Things, and I believe in its quality and value and merits of being published far more than I have with any other work I’ve ever planned, started, or finished. But ever since starting it in June, I’ve been operating under the mentality of “I need to get as much done now as I can because once the school year starts, I’ll have to push it aside to focus on schoolwork and OF content.”  But then I thought to myself, “Well…should I? Should I put BT to the side when I feel so passionately about it in favor of something I’m not passionate about? Should I unravel all the diligent work I’ve been doing this past month and a half for the sake of something that causes me significantly more stress than satisfaction?”

The more I think about it, the less I can justify saying yes.

The biggest gripe, of course, is the financial implications. I don’t make a *ton* of money doing content, but I average between $300 and $400 a month, depending on MV performance and customs, and that’s a decent enough paycheck that I hesitate to lose it. But again, I just don’t think I can justify forcing myself to produce work that isn’t bringing me joy.

Now, all that said, I won’t be fully shutting everything down and wiping myself from the face of the internet. YouTube and DeviantArt will remain as they are, and the OF will also remain open at a discounted rate ($5/month, which is the minimum OF will let me charge) for access to the audio archive. I’ll still be active on Tumblr, as I have been for a while, but I won’t be creating any new content (outside of Beautiful Things) for at least a few months—if not ever again. I don’t want to speculate too far into the future, but if I see a significant boost in my mental health after a few months of not worrying about OF posting, then that is a bridge I will have to cross.

I do want to extend a massive thank you to everyone who’s supported me, especially those who have paid for subscriptions, and even more especially those who have been around since the Patreon days. This community has been an immense source of comfort, confidence, and validation, both for my writing ability/creativity as well as my personality and even physical appearance. Again, I’m not planning on fully disappearing from the community forever; I’ll still be active on here, and I’ll probably also come onto OF every few weeks or so to let those who are left there know how I’m doing—I just won’t be putting any new content out for the foreseeable future.

I’ll be making the necessary updates to OF and other platforms within the next few days. For now, though, I hope you enjoy the archive, and though I’ll be sparse, remember:

Keep eating.

—EG

[sapphyreopal5]

This con showed to everyone how fake the marriage between Jensen and Danneel is. What I don't understand is why people are insisting so much that their marriage is perfect. It was confirmed that during the cerimony of their marriage they were drunk or high on pills, especially Jensen beacuse he didn't want to get married. I'm sorry but not been mentally clear at your own wedding doesn't seem like a love confession to your future spouse.

Hello Anon, I'm not sure what what you mean by the whole being intoxicated via being drunk or on pills at the time of getting married. Did you see this in a panel video from this last con or what? For future reference, please send a link for claims like this or something. As for their marriage overall, I did decide to do Jensen's astrology chart (assuming that 4:18am time I saw somewhere else is correct), because I like divination and am starting to find astrology more interesting than I did before. It seems that this is part of his karma unfortunately and was always in his natal chart.

1st house - Ascendant (ASC) Ascendant in Capricorn (Capricorn ruler is Saturn) People with Capricorn Ascendant must first become aware of their two opposing sides. One is obedience and performing their duties properly. They need to manage energy well and this requires discipline and self-control. They must achieve some social prestige and recognition. The other side is the ability to organize practical matters and achieve their goals, and also the ability to enjoy sensual pleasures. The ruler of the Ascendant - Saturn These people tend to act slowly and with caution. They avoid any kind of control. They love solitude and they hate crowds. They want to stand out and isolate themselves from others. Their actions will be valued in time. They may become politicians, consultants, engineers etc. Their main feature is endurance. The ruler of the Ascendant (Saturn) in Leo These people act authoritatively and decisively. They act nobly and in line with some creative idea. They are generous and they like to show off. They cannot tolerate pettiness and narrowness. The ruler of the Ascendant (Saturn) in the 7th House These people have a tendency to play important social roles. For these people, contracts, politics and foreign events are significant. There may be problems in their marriage. They arouse resentment, passion or adoration.

10th house in Scorpio (Scorpio ruler is Pluto) People with Scorpio on the tenth house cusp are determined to succeed. They are driven to succeed in anything they do. Their willpower power is impressive and stunning. They are very good in occupations that involve searching for information or researching information that will solve serious issues. They seem very capable and confident. Their inventiveness, determination and diligence create a powerful combination. The ruler of the 10th House (Pluto) in the 9th House These people often work in education, religion, philosophy or science and they have great teaching skills. They may go on long journeys and meet foreign officials in connection with their profession. They are often teaching at a mature age.

I will say that of course he's into acting but he was considering going to school for sports medicine at Texas Tech University prior to deciding acting was for him instead. In the gold panel at the Chicago 2023 con he talked about how he'd learn neuroscience and also mentioned his interest in astrophysics. He spoke of how Neil DeGrasse talked about how there are so many planets out there and then Jensen talked about the possibility of life on other planets. Seems to me like he has an interest in the sciences that has largely been put aside in favor of acting.

Sun in Pisces People born under the sign of Pisces are just like people born under the sign of Aquarius influenced by two planets. Jupiter gives them sense for justice, social conscience and willingness to help others, while Neptune both helps them and complicates their life. Neptune gives them imagination, creativity and emotionality, but it also gives them hypersensitivity and dreaminess that leads to passivity, indecision and excessive sensitivity. Sun in the 2nd House The Sun in the second house focuses on resources of the person. These people have the energy to achieve their personal goals, financial security and other material values. Their desire to achieve material success is just as strong as their desire for financial independence. The Sun creates not only the desire but also the abilities needed to achieve material success. These people often use most of their energy on making money simply for the purpose of spending it and enjoying material things.

Disseminating Moon (Waning Gibbous) (257°56’ Moon Phase Degree) Scattering seeds, Distribution, Teach, Sharing and Introspection Moon in Scorpio Moon in Scorpio creates the need to delve into your feelings as deep as possible and this brings great vulnerability. You never forget anything that was done to you. It's hard to force you to do anything. Moon in the 10th House The Moon in the tenth house indicates the tendency to live in the public eye and suggests frequent changes of jobs. These people like to have a good reputation and they yearn for recognition. They are often in a position where they have to empathise with other people and react on their mood. The Moon in the tenth house gives prerequisites for professions in the area of sales, services or any other profession that requires contact with the public. These people are often very defensive and their emotions are dominated by the desire to achieve their own goals.

Moon Trine Venus (8°42’, Separating) This harmonious aspect gives people balanced temperament, charming manners and usually also good looks. Social success is almost guaranteed. These people have creative abilities and they need to create a pleasant home environment. Moon Square Saturn (2°20’, Separating) This aspect creates people who are unable to express their feelings and prefer to hide behind a mask they create. They need a stable home where they can feel safe. In their family life they tend to artificially create too many duties. They are inclined to depressions.

Mercury in Pisces People with Mercury in Pisces like art, mysticism and psychology. These people speak with emotions. They have a sensitive mind that absorbs a lot of information. Ideas and solutions emerge easily, without any effort. Because of this mental connection, they are sometimes not sure if their thoughts are their own. They unfortunately often resist the sensitivity of their mind. They doubt their credibility because it seems to them that some thoughts and opinions come "from elsewhere." Resisting the sensitivity of their brain will eventually lead to certain mental exhaustion. However, if they stop worrying about it and let their ideas flow through their mind then these thoughts will give them great inspiration. Mercury in the 2nd House Mercury in the second house represents a connection with the house of personal financial affairs and property. It is a position that helps generate ideas for making money and makes people to value material things. These people are bright and smart. They have a talent for trading and for financial and business transactions. They can use it in economics, planning, sales, in writing popular literature or in another profession that requires good communication skills. These people usually have more material than intellectual values and they can also earn their living by teaching about or mediating money-making opportunities.

Sun Conjunction Mercury (2°01’, Separating)- *Considered Combust* There can only be conjunction between the Sun and Mercury. People with this aspect are subjective and creative; they can express their ideas well and they are often very artistic. This is a great aspect for artists who perform on stage. These people are intellectuals, but their thinking is very subjective and they can sometimes lack objectivity or the ability to see things from the outside.

I will say that he is very ambitious and does seem to put a lot of priority on his career. Also, he is often not home a lot as people in the Supernatural fandom and actively follow him may have noticed. Although the moon is positioned in the later degrees of Scorpio the moon is apparently the most debilitated when under Scorpio than any other sign. I have read that people with the moon in their 10th house can be rather sensitive to public opinion. I will say that Jensen is very image conscious and therefore am inclined to say from an astrology standpoint, this seems true. Looking at also that the debilitated Moon is square to Saturn, he is more inclined to hide behind a certain image he wants people to see instead of the truth. This might be why he says a lot of things about his marriage without really saying it outwardly if this makes sense. I did read the below about a moon in Scorpio per Indastro.com:

Moon Scorpio: You are over obsessed with your work and family. You become anxious if something goes wrong on either personal or professional front. You become possessive about your work and relationships. This attitude will create an emotional turmoil.

I also see that while Mercury is not so much debilitated by it being in the second house it is under Pisces. I also see another debilitation, which is that Mercury is under 5 degrees away from the sun making it so it's considered combusted. It's a commonly combust planet in astrology charts but I feel it's worth mentioning because Mercury is also under the Pisces sign. When a planet is debilitated it more or less loses its potency and struggles to deliver their promising aspects to the person in question. His second house is in my opinion more influenced by Pisces because of how late in Aquarius his second house starts. All of the planets in his second house are in the Pisces part.

With this being said, I've read that Mercury debilitated by being under Pisces (up to 15 degrees) can make someone have less discretion as far as determining if information is good or not (perhaps naïve?), indecisive, more interested in hidden truths than what is in plain sight, sometimes dependent, and a lack of clarity. I would say that this could explain some things with how he tends to say umm and uhh a lot at times. Not problematic for people like me but it is something I've noticed in a lot of panel videos I've seen. In a way with intellectual Mercury being debilitated, it might be why his scientific interests have been on the back burner this entire time and doesn't delve into them perhaps as much as he'd like.

Venus in Pisces Venus in Pisces gains importance because love and beauty can be fully expressed in this sensitive, imaginative, and compassionate sign. However, in order to reach the highest point, we must sometimes fall to the lowest point. These people must learn how to best express their universal sense of love, otherwise they will be condemned to excessive vulnerability and sensitivity, and their worrying nature will be misused. They consider everything alive and holy, everything from the finest insects to human beings. They may have problems in their intimate relationships due to their love for the whole universe because in such a relationship they try to give all their love to a single person or get it from one person. Their partners may feel like they are drowning in love and that they are not able to behave accordingly. It is possible that they will leave and find someone who is not so demanding. Venus in the 2nd House Venus in the second house represents a connection with security and material wealth. These people love their property, jewellery, clothes and other accessories. They will probably be lucky in material matters. They like money, but only because it gives them better social status. They are talented traders and businessmen. Venus in this position also indicates the possibility of gaining money from some artistic activity. It can also mean lavishness and material privileges.

Sun Conjunction Venus (9°13’, Separating) There can only be conjunction between the Sun and Venus. This aspect highlights feminine characteristics of both sexes. It also supports artistic and creative inclinations. These people are often optimistic and they enjoy the company of other people. They have a good taste for fashionable clothes. Venus Trine Mars (2°34’, Applying) These people are very considerate and kind. They usually have many friends and they like to spend their free time meaningfully. They have a lot of creative energy and they do most things in a relaxed manner. Ascendant Sextile Venus (0°10’, Separating) These people are charming, friendly and they want to please others.

Mars in Cancer People with Mars in Cancer are emotional and very moody. Sometimes they take their time to decide which goal they want to achieve. Direct, full of energy and uncomplicated Mars is not too happy in Cancer that is full of complicated emotions. These people want to express their wishes, but not at the expense of exposure to uncertainty and embarrassment. Consequently, they often fail to express their desires and fears clearly enough and others frequently do not know what they exactly want. As a result, neither partner knows what the other wants. People with Mars in Cancer have the ability to penetrate into the most hidden and secret areas of other people´s souls. Mars in the 7th House Mars in the seventh house often means trouble in marriage and with business partners. Marriage can occur at an early age or without thinking it through. Their partners and friends can be aggressive and impulsive. This position suggests competitive people who may not be very tactful but they have talent for work where their energy can be used, for example in sales.

Mars Square Pluto (6°03’, Separating) This aspect is challenging because these people are stubborn and determined, they often hurt other people´s feelings with their sharp judgment and their decisiveness can often lead to big life changes. They uncritically believe in the absolute truth and in their abilities.

Ascendant Opposition Mars (2°24’, Applying) The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people assertiveness, abundant energy and physical resilience. The negative side of this aspect is that these people may be impatient and they are susceptible to infections and minor injuries.

Mars Trine Uranus (5°55’, Applying) This harmonious aspect gives people individuality and inclination to have unusual interests. There are two developmental branches - either the person engages in anarchist groups or extremist political movements, or they use their skills in research in engineering, construction and other related fields. This aspect is great for top-level athletes who need short and fast performance. These people like to use novel techniques.

Now I see Venus is technically exalted in terms of sign placement being under its most favorable sign being Pisces. However, his natal Mars also is debilitated under the sign Cancer and from what I've read, the 7th house isn't exactly a good position for Mars to be in. I'd consider this a bit of a double whammy as far as I can see. I will say a lot of successful men from what I've read can have Mars in Cancer; where they pay the price for such is more or less expression in their true desires versus what they think they should want and therefore are slower at opening up than others can be. Since Mars is also retrograde in his chart, this means that he's possibly more likely to handle anger and aggression inward than not, as well as in pursuing what he wants.

Jupiter in Gemini People with Jupiter in Gemini have a talent to get to know as many aspects of life as possible. It is basically how they get to know themselves. However, they may easily get entangled in endless amusements and distractions that life offers and forget about things that truly matter. They collect as much information and knowledge as they can, and in this process they meet many people that can act as facilitators (travel, employment, services, or something more unusual). At a more intellectual level, gathering information allows them to see general trends in society as well as interests of individuals. Their most important ability is to be a well informed in one or more areas. It is possible that they identify themselves with two or more philosophies or moral codes at the same time. Jupiter in this position may mean talent for writing, success in studies (languages, medicine), the possibility of studying abroad (Jupiter = foreign countries), twins (Jupiter = children), scholarships (Jupiter gives people support), studying overseas, education in adulthood, success in journalism, medicine or travelling. Jupiter in the 6th House Jupiter in the sixth house plays an important role in the employment of people who provide help and services to others. They raise the morale of their co-workers, help them to resolve conflicts and inspire them to cooperate. Their friendly attitude gives them talent for working with the public, with employees and with people in general. Jupiter Sextile Saturn (0°08’, Separating) This harmoninous aspect is extremely positive - it gives these people good foundation, stability and balance, and enables them to fully develop.

Saturn in Leo Saturn in this position tries to show its limiting and conservative nature through the joyous and generous Leo. These people need the right amount of self-esteem, they should learn to be confident without feeling superior, and respected without being too dictatorial. Other people may dislike them if they start showing others that they are better than them. However, since Saturn often represents our doubts, fears and uncertainties, it is very likely that these people will be so afraid that other people may dislike them that they will be too modest. There may be authorities in their lives, such as a parent, a partner, a school, a church, or a government that will teach them either to develop their creative abilities or just to complain about their life and destiny. Saturn in the 7th House Saturn in the seventh house suggests people who are careful in their intimate relationships. This usually results in late marriage, and it may also mean not very happy marriage. However, it does not mean unhappy marriage. It rather suggests mature and rational relationship that is usually durable. This may mean an older or too serious or strict spouse or other limitations.

MC Contra-Parallel Saturn (0°11’) The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are persistent and honest when they are pursuing their goals. The negative side of this aspect is that they can have doubts about their goals and they often have to face obstacles and delays.

Even though Jupiter is technically in the 6th house, it is borderline the 5th house which does pertain to things like fun, creativity, pleasure, and children. It is positioned at Jupiter in Gemini 26°13’, whereas the 6th house starts at Gemini 26°08’. This might not be a real indicator that he was always going to have twins BUT I thought it was worth mentioning. People with Mars in the 7th house often need a partner that's equally passionate if not more passionate may be needed to offset their deeply passionate nature.

Also, I see Saturn is in his 7th house along with Mars. Saturn being in the 7th house is considered to be a badly placed Saturn, particularly with marriage. While Saturn's placement in the 7th house can make some people hold off on marriage or just struggle with finding a good match, it can also mean they have a tendency to enter relationships they're not happy in and won't leave. They might stick to unsatisfactory, painful or abusive relationships internally hoping for things to improve for a long time if not eternally. Couldn't help but notice Saturn is also retrograde in his natal chart just like Mars is and both of them are in the 7th house. Saturn is also considered to be the planet of Karma, so some schools of thought talk about Saturn in retrograde in a natal chart can point to some past life karma and unfinished business that needs to be completed.

For Saturn retrograde in natal charts, it means they may yield to easily to external influences due to some self-protective fear motivation and can lack self-assertion or fall to the idea that fate or other compelling universal forces are controlling their destiny. Some schools of thought also suggest that in a past life the were once severely abused that were in power or avoided responsibility. This can make someone look for the easy out often times and have a history of being impatient. They may also be less likely to try new or unconventional things in favor of what's been tried and true. Because Saturn is retrograde in the 7th house, I am willing to bet that in order to complete his karmic unfinished business perhaps this is why he has been "tied down" with Danneel by higher powers. I have said it before multiple times my guides said this is a redemption lifetime for Jensen. Looks like his natal chart is proving them correct.

Although Mars and Saturn are not considered to be in conjunction , I thought that these 2 planets being in the house of marriage and partnerships is interesting. Their influence on each other is not as strong as they would be if they were in conjunction but still I think this tidbit is interesting to look at:

Negative Effect Of Mars and Saturn Conjunction in 7th House Saturn and Mars’ alignment in the seventh house indicates separation and divorce, single life, and marital problems. The seventh house is the home of marriage; both planets there are adversaries and aren’t thought to be favorable, especially in this house, therefore there is usually conflict in relationships. Mars Marriage is typically delayed by a Saturn conjunction. It is the place where we wish to satisfy our desires through other people, but Saturn and Mars stopped all of these things, causing people to suffer significant losses in their businesses and interpersonal relationships. These people should constantly exercise extreme caution before getting married to anyone because it can occasionally become the biggest obstruction to happiness. Mars in conjunction with Saturn will make a woman hostile.

Uranus in Scorpio Uranus in Scorpio increases the fluctuations of emotions, providing new and fresh insights into the process of death and transformation. These people often have a revolutionary approach to sex, they are interested in psychology and they are able to bring new practices and methods into it. Perhaps the biggest advantage of this aspect is that it gives people very strong will and improves their resistance to physical suffering. Uranus in the 10th House Uranus in the tenth house suggests instability in career and in the way public perceives actions of these people. These people have unusual approach towards their career, so they need to work independently or have their own business, otherwise they will not get on well with their boss. They will get their new ideas unexpectedly and suddenly. They know immediately how to get something done and they will try to do it. They are not afraid to make decisions and act. It is very important for them to have independence at work. Moon Parallel Uranus (0°35’) This conjunction gives people strong need for emotional and family freedom. They need constant change. It may seem that these people express their feelings openly but then they have emotional outbursts to unwind their feelings. They feel separated from society (complex of separation). They are restless, original and eccentric. They experience sudden emotional changes of mood and strong fragmented emotions.

Neptune in Sagittarius People with Neptune in Sagittarius use their creative abilities to serve ideals, whether these ideals are their own or somebody´s else. They tend to serve their faith or religion. In any case, their thoughts and opinions are influenced by philosophical insights, and they are happy to help develop some religious or philosophical ideal. Neptune in the 11th House Neptune in the eleventh house influences the dreams and hopes of these people, their friends and companions. These people make friends very easily. Their numerous friends may be somewhat unusual or strange. They are often intriguers and conspirators who have long-term plans and a reliable intuition. They must plan carefully if they want their plans to be feasible. Sun Square Neptune (7°44’, Applying) This aspect creates people that are overly empathetic and too willing to sacrifice themselves, and thus they may easily be used by others or cheated. These people should stay away from drugs, alcohol and tobacco because they have considerable tendencies to use drugs and alcohol to solve their problems. Ascendant Parallel Neptune (0°29’) The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are intuitive and understanding. The negative side of this aspect is that they are impetuous and they find it hard to adapt to new situations. They should stay away from alcohol.

Neptune Sextile Pluto (1°59’, Separating) This harmonious aspect is long-lasting and it affects peace-making attitudes. In connection with other aspects it further enhances peace-building and transformative actions on global scale.

Pluto in Libra People with Pluto in the Libra have a good sense of balance, but because Pluto is falling in this sign, it can also bring about sudden and profound changes in their family or unexpected changes in relationships etc. In general, this position brings fears and uncertainties to relationships. These people are adaptable and responsible in their relationships, but they are also unstable. Personal transformation can be accomplished by developing the ability to relate to other people. Pluto in the 9th House Pluto in the ninth house, the house of higher thought, suggests the need to understand the nature of natural forces and humanity. These people have well-developed mental abilities and they are interested in transforming and restoring legal, moral, educational or philosophical institutions and systems. They have the ability to see the causes of the problems in the wider social order. They have great intuition and broad view in this area. These people have strong sense of justice and they cannot stand injustice or hypocrisy. They tend to impose their views on others.

Uranus is the planet that's known as being the great awakener and can redirect people's paths and goals based on their soul contracts. This is however done through change. Uranus also does well under the Scorpio sign, due to going with the flow for things. While I perceive Jensen as someone who may see outside forces as having higher power over himself (supported by the retrograde Saturn tidbit from earlier), I also see himself being rather insecure in following his true path. As the psychic guy I mentioned before said, the higher powers allow black magic to play out in certain ways based on someone's karma. This I see 100% playing out in Jensen's natal chart. I therefore see that it would take considerable efforts or even drastic measures in order to make him change course.

That guy also spoke of the black roads and then the white roads. There are a lot of signs Jensen's life is supposed to go in another direction and doesn't seem to be going down the river the other way (looking at you Pocahontas here). That Winchesters lawsuit going on still, the Rust tragedy, his condo selling for half of the asking price, Prequelgate, etc. are all coming to mind here. Overall, his natal chart and other things I've learned from my guides and such shows A LOT of his karma goes back to his personal relationships and specifically his romantic relationships. The psychic guy I mentioned before also spoke of how his love life is up in the air as I did in different words than him. I will say that it seems his natal chart shows that he was in fact always going to struggle in marriage. I know this is a long winded answer but I felt like looking into his natal chart might provide some insights. I sure think it did.

Thanks for the ask Anon! If anyone with more astrology knowledge than me wants to chime in, by all means do so :)

[mattnben-bennmatt]

Ben Affleck, at the top of his game

Entertainment Weekly (11 January 2022)

The actor-director has seen fame from both sides now — and he's ready to talk (with Matt Damon, and us) about it.

By Leah Greenblatt

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It's one of those endless blue-haze days in Los Angeles, and Ben Affleck is leaning back on the diving board of a borrowed Bel Air estate to catch the sun, his long torso arced like a bell curve. For a moment it seems like he might actually fall in, bringing a precariously perched photographer and several yards of creamy, expensive-looking knitwear with him. But his balance is better than it looks: Affleck, 49, has walked the plank many times before, and tumbled from greater heights than this. He's also climbed back up again, a story of outsize stardom and second chances played out in the public eye for nearly three decades now.

After a mid-career swerve toward directing films like Gone Baby Gone, The Town, and Argo (for which he won Best Picture), the actor has returned to his first love, turning in fresh, revelatory performances in Ridley Scott's medieval epic The Last Duel and George Clooney's warmhearted drama The Tender Bar. To mark the occasion, Affleck's erstwhile creative partner and oldest friend in the business, Matt Damon (it's been 24 years since they took home their Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Good Will Hunting, how do you like them apples?), sat down to discuss life, love, and all the roles — School Ties, Armageddon, and yes, even Gigli — that made the man. —Leah Greenblatt

MATT DAMON: Ben Affleck, it's great to see you here today.

BEN AFFLECK: Hey there, man! Welcome to the red carpet. Before we get into your project, who are you sleeping with?

[Laughs] Well we're here to talk about The Tender Bar, a movie directed by George Clooney which you star in. I guess I first became aware of it when you called me very excited that you read a great script that Bill Monahan wrote and George offered you a job. I promptly called George and he said that it was because you were cheaper than me. But as the month went on, I started to wonder if he was telling me the entire truth.

He told me that you argued too much. "I got tired of dealing with Damon's bull----. You're gonna do what I tell you, right?"

How was I going to just take his notes and not say anything? But you said you received some of the best direction of your career from Georgie, so I was wondering if you could help people understand what that means.

Well, first of all, because you'd worked with George, I had worked with George, I knew him well and liked him quite a bit. You've always been very smart about picking great directors, and lucky that good directors have picked you. I feel like you really understood that very early on and how well it served you, and I remember George being somebody about whom you just raved.

So aside from being deeply jealous and developing a sense of inadequacy and self-loathing, I did think, "Oh, that would be nice one day, if that happened to me." So when he just called me out of the blue — you know how rare it is that a finished, wonderful script shows up with a really great director, and all you have to do is to just basically be conscious and sentient and say yes.

I mean, especially today, right?

Yeah, I knew that this was kind of mine to screw up. I couldn't imagine there wasn't a long line of people that wanted to take this part, so I really respected his confidence and faith in me, and I wanted to do well for him. I wanted to do it for myself. There's an emotional scene in the end where I give the kid [Tye Sheridan] a car, and every time I read the script, I cried. So I showed up and I really got ready and did my thing. We did the first take and I thought, God, this is it. This is all working. George came over and he said, "Yeah... Giving a car to someone is supposed to be fun."

That's what he said?

I was like, "Right, yes, of course. I've been playing it completely wrong." Other directors can talk to you for an hour and a half and it doesn't seem clear what they're driving at, whereas George has this gift of succinctness and insight. But also just being directed by somebody who's done this job that I've been trying to do for, I don't know, 30 years, is such a comfort and a relief.... My dad worked in a bar, as you know. All that stuff was very familiar to me. So my only concern was, "Should I be working harder than this? It shouldn't feel this smooth."

I've always said, as an actor, your only excuse for not being good is "I didn't know what movie I was in."

It's interesting, because that was the very first thing George did. I mean, a director's job in large measure is tone. Is it more comic? More serious? For me, every time I work with a director that I really admire, and even some I don't — I can learn from negative examples, too — but I just feel like I become a much better director.

I remember Francis [Ford Coppola] sold these little cigars at his winery that are called Carmine Thrifties, they're named after his father. And on the side of the box, it says, "Steal from the best." Which brings me to my next question: Is there anything you're going to carry forward into your own directing coming out of this experience?

I think it's hard to overestimate the degree to which a director's attitude, openness, comfort, generosity pervades the set and sets a tone. George does that better than I do. And he was enormously respectful of the degree to which I take very seriously my need to be there with my children for my half of the custody. I mean, he bent over backwards. You didn't have to be there until midnight every night [or] obliterate the rest of your life in order to do this. Because he's got this spectacular wife, he's got his children, he's got a very rich, full life. He's got to sell coffee—

He sells tequila, too.

Tequila and coffee. That's no joke.

He's got you in the morning and the night.

I'll tell you what I want to be. I want to be George Clooney selling coffee and tequila. Because that really frees you up to do the movies you want to do.

So speaking of awesome actors, I've been tasked with going all the way back to the beginning of your career.

Don't be afraid to relieve yourself of some of that burden, if it feels unduly burdensome.

I take my job very seriously here at Entertainment Weekly.

That's what I'm afraid of.

But before we go back to where it started, let's talk for a second about where you are. Do you attribute it to just, "You play in traffic long enough, you're bound to get hit by some cars?" Is that why your performances are so good of late? Like what you did in The Way Back and The Last Duel. It's full, it's rich, it's invested. It's right. And you're not reaching.

Thank you. That means a lot. Sometimes people will go, "You know, you've really gotten better as you were older," which sometimes feels like "You're not that bad-looking in person! You're not as stupid as I thought you were!" I have some performances as a younger person that I really liked. I knew [Good Will Hunting's] Chuckie Sullivan. I felt an affinity for Ned Alleyn in Shakespeare in Love, and really connected with the character in Chasing Amy.

Changing Lanes! You were great in that one.

That's where I met Bradley [Cooper], actually. Starting off, you have these ideas about success. You know, my mother made $28,000 a year. So I would be like, "How could I justifiably say no to this?" Just not understanding the value of turning things down. People talk about your choices and I want to say, "Well, it's not like I was passing on Scorsese movies." Like, "No, Marty, I'm good. I'm going to do Surviving Christmas." Part of our fates are controlled by the opportunities we have in terms of material and directors.

Absolutely.

That's a big one. And then also, I've always felt more comfortable playing characters that weren't the traditional kind of protagonist. You do this much better than I do, and it's not a backhanded compliment because you find a way to make characters interesting and flawed and real. Because you can't, as a storyteller, alienate the audience from your protagonist. Then you're just watching a movie about somebody you're either judging or don't like or don't believe. And that just blows the whole thing up.

It's deceptively difficult to play the leading-man role. It's like Denzel [Washington], you just can't help but like him and want to be him and admire him. That's a level of being interesting so that you draw people in. One of the nice things about getting older, if you're lucky, is you stop bulls---ting yourself and you start going, You know, I actually know where my feelings are. And the more I figured it out, the more accessible that was. I know what painful is and I know what disillusioned is and I know what ambivalent is, I know what nostalgia is.

Right.

I had a really nadir experience around Justice League for a lot of different reasons. Not blaming anybody, there's a lot of things that happened. But really what it was is that I wasn't happy. I didn't like being there. I didn't think it was interesting. And then some really s---ty things, awful things happened. But, that's when I was like, I'm not going to do that anymore.

In fact, I talked to you about it and you were a principal influence on that decision. I want to do the things that would bring me joy. Then we went and did Last Duel and I had fun every day on this movie. I wasn't the star, I wasn't likable. I was a villain. I wasn't all the things I thought I was supposed to be when I started out and yet it was a wonderful experience. And it was all just stuff that came along that I wasn't chasing.

My only thing is that now I live in fear every time I do another movie, I'm like, Do I still feel that, am I still good? I'm afraid it's going to go away, you know? 'Cause it's elusive. But I'm happy now. I'm feeling it now. And I do think I've gotten better. I think people generally get better with the age and experience—

Some might not. They might get in really bad, corrosive habits.

If you're smart, you learn from people who are really good. And I think our friendship helped kind of inculcate that knowledge in me. We were very generous and open with stuff. Being around other people that you liked and respected and were smart just made you better.

You said to me and I've always repeated it — I mean this is when we started writing together, you were 20 and I was 22 — really starkly, you were like, "Judge me for how good my good ideas are and not how bad my bad ideas are."

Everyone's got bad ideas. Like David Fincher, who is brilliant, every now and again, you go, "Hmm, I don't know." But then you find out he has the humility to go, "Oh, huh."

I remember that with the Coen brothers, more than once. One of them would come up and give me a note after a take and then the other one would be off talking to another actor and would come up and give me the exact opposite note. And without fail, I would always say, "Joel, Ethan just told me the opposite thing," or "Ethan, Joel just told me to do the opposite thing." And no matter who it was, the second guy would say, "Oh yeah, do what he said." [Laughs]

Let me ask you a question about the business before I start running these old movies by you. Given The Last Duel, which I'm drinking my tea and shamelessly promoting with a Last Duel mug that I made...

Did you hand-paint it? Matt Damon, hold the mug!

Obviously it was a box office failure. But interestingly enough, it's number one on iTunes. So it means that there is an audience, just one that was unwilling to go in the middle of a pandemic to the theater. How does that make you feel, coming out with another drama — did COVID just accelerate something that was going to take 10 or 15 years, or is it coming back?

You know, I won't hedge, because that's always boring. I will say, when The Way Back came out, it was released the week they closed the theaters [for the pandemic]. But even before then I knew this movie about grief and a child dying and alcoholism and recovery is just not going to get adults in the seats. We were just talking about Narcos: Mexico, Succession, Mare of Easttown. There's these amazing things being done on streamers. Roma! It's not just some formulaic TV procedural like when we were kids. And you could only watch it like my dad, on an 11-inch black-and-white TV.

If I had to bet, a drama like Argo would not be made theatrically now. That wasn't that long ago. It would be a limited series. I think movies in theaters are going to become more expensive, event-ized. They're mostly going to be for younger people, and mostly about "Hey, I'm so into the Marvel Universe, I can't wait to see what happens next." And there'll be 40 movies a year theatrically, probably, all IP, sequel, animated.

The Last Duel really clinched it for me. I've had bad movies that didn't work and I didn't blink. I know why people didn't go — because they weren't good. But I liked what we did. I like what we had to say. I'm really proud of it. So I was really confused. And then to see that it did well on streaming, I thought, "Well, there you go. That's where the audience is."

Heading back into a time machine now—

If I thought I was going to be held accountable for these movies 20 years later...

Thirty years, dude. Thirty. Let's start with School Ties because that was the first time we did a feature film together. What do you remember?

I knew my nine lines back to front. I loved every day I was on a call sheet, every day I got to come to work. You were there, in Boston. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

Even by the dump in Lowell. Remember?

We literally were next to a dump and thought we were kings. I knew I was playing the one s---ty anti-Semitic bully character, so I figured it was probably not going to be great for me career-wise, but I loved it.

I wasn't in this, but Dazed and Confused, that was your first time working with and meeting Rick Linklater and all those guys.

He was a model to us as we looked around and thought for the first time, "Maybe we can make our own movie," you know? You can do Reservoir Dogs or Slacker or Clerks or Do the Right Thing. People were kind of working outside of the system, and that was inspiring.

Look, it's a bunch of 19-year-old kids shooting nights in a party scene in Texas. So it was barely distinguishable, the time at the hotel and the time on the set. I got to know Matthew [McConaughey] when he was first starting out. Rory [Cochrane], I stayed friends with him, he was in Argo. Anthony Rapp and Joey Lauren Adams and Renée Zellweger, it was just an abundance of riches.

And then it bombed. Bombed! Nobody saw the movie, but it got great reviews. I remember there was a [former EW film critic] Owen Gleiberman review saying "Once every decade..." and I thought this was hyperbole. But it ended up being true, it's a real cult movie that people still talk about and I'm glad to be a part of it. And again, I was the single unappealing character in a movie of enormously appealing people. So not a great career strength. [Laughs]

Well now, speaking of DIY filmmaking: Mall Rats. You obviously have got to talk about Kevin [Smith], but maybe fold them all in because you've got Chasing Amy, too.

I was, once again, playing the bully, running around, throwing people into their lockers. But I liked Kevin. He's funny and smart and charming. We got along.

Kevin also saved Good Will Hunting. This is not a small side note. He is the reason Good Will Hunting got made. We were dead in the water, all the offers had evaporated.

I promised him I would thank him if we ever got an Oscar and promptly forgot. And then I told him, "If I ever win again I swear to God I'm going to thank you." Forgot again.

Kevin and Gus [Van Sant, Good Will's director] and Robin [Williams] were equally important. And I think Francis [Ford Coppola] vouched for me with Robin.

God, he was a wonderful guy. And funny! It was the first time I ever got to hang out with somebody that talented and that famous. I remember walking down the street in Boston with him, he had done Good Morning, Vietnam and Awakenings and Fisher King and all that. And all everybody in Boston would say was "Nanu, nanu."

Yeah.

Mork from Ork.

Mork! But he did do that — he would just do take after take after take because that beautiful brain of his would always come up with something different to do.... So from there, I remember when you got Armageddon. We got split where people went, "Oh, well, Ben's the big movie guy. And Matt's the serious guy," because I did Saving Private Ryan. But the fact was that we were desperate to get another job, and I would've happily taken Armageddon. You would've happily taken Saving Private Ryan. I remember I was shooting [The Talented Mr.] Ripley in Italy when that thing opened, and it was a massive hit. That was a terrific cast.

Yeah, Bruce Willis, Owen Wilson, Billy Bob [Thornton], Mike Duncan. This was real Hollywood, which I felt like I had never seen. They dug out two stages of Disney for huge asteroid craters, and I didn't even think about the fact that the basic premise of the movie was totally absurd.

Why are they training oil drillers to be astronauts rather than astronauts to be oil drillers? You would think the learning curve would be somewhat more steep on the oil-drillers-to-astronauts route. But it was fun and the right time. It's funny, Bruce dropped out of a movie, and as the deal for dropping out of this movie that wasn't working is that we get to put you in two movies, and they put him in Armageddon and The Sixth Sense.

Oh my God, really?

Yes! And I was a little naive about the opinions people would form about me. Or Michael [Bay] and Jerry [Bruckheimer]'s focus on aesthetics, like, "You guys gotta go to the tanning bed!" They made me fix my teeth and work out and be sexy. Be sexy, how do I do that? "Go to the gym!" Running in the gym and putting oil on my body and stuff, and it just turned out to be a long-form version of one of those male topless calendars, in a garage, carrying a tire, kind of greased up. Michael had a vision of a glistening male torso in the oil, and he was like, "That's going to go in the trailer and sell tickets!" And you know, what can you say? We could have made, I think, 400 Chasing Amys for what we made Armageddon for.

It's funny because that's the one movie of mine that my kids have watched and they'll kind of all admit to liking, even though they relentlessly mock it and me. "What are you, driving a tank on the moon?" But they had fun, you know what I mean? They won't even watch The Town. So there you have it.

My kids won't watch my stuff, either. All right, wow, they have a lot of movies they want me to ask you about.

Skip to the ones that are interesting.

Let's touch on Gigli because it's directed by one of our favorite directors, Marty Brest. Where does it sit with you now?

You know, it's an interesting thing because it was a really easy choice. I loved Midnight Run. I loved Beverly Hills Cop. I loved Scent of a Woman. Marty's obviously enormously gifted. There's no question in my mind that this was a guy I wanted to work with. There was wonderful stuff in there. There are things where my daughter will be like, "This is ableist and disgusting," and okay. The way we see stuff has changed a little bit, or a lot in some cases. And there are things that seemed they could work at the time and don't in retrospect.

But really, the truth about that movie and what it taught me was how much everything around a movie sort of dictates the way people see it. But for being a movie that's such a famous bomb and a disaster, very few people actually saw the movie. It doesn't work, by the way. It's a sort of horse's head in a cow's body. And the studio at the time, because I had begun having this relationship with Jennifer Lopez, which was selling a lot of magazines and appeared to generate a lot of enthusiasm, they just predictably latched onto, "They want a romantic comedy. They want the two of them together. More of that!" And it was just like that SNL sketch: "Bad Idea."

But even movies like The Sum of All Fears that worked commercially but didn't have any depth to them, I didn't do anything particularly interesting in them. [Gigli] didn't work and we did five weeks of reshoots, which we knew were not gonna work. It was a movie that didn't work.... Interestingly, I learned more about directing on that movie than anything else because Marty is a brilliant director, really gifted. It's not like it's worse than all... there's a bunch of horrible movies and in terms of losing money, I've had five movies — at least! — that have lost more money than Gigli has.

It's just that it became a story in and of itself. The funny name, the Jennifer Lopez romance and overexposure of that, it was kind of a perfect storm. And I remember talking to Marty the Friday it came out and I was like it's just spectacular, it's a tsunami, it couldn't be worse. This is as bad as it gets.

I thought my job was to be a cipher. I can see now how people looked at me and thought of this person as some callow frat guy who's cavalier, or has too much. It engendered a lot of negative feelings in people about me. There's that aspect of people that I got to see that was sad and hard, it was depressing and really made me question things and feel disappointed and have a lot of self-doubt. But if the reaction to Gigli hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't have ultimately decided, "I don't really have any other avenue but to direct movies," which has turned out to be the real love of my professional life. So in those ways, it's a gift. And I did get to meet Jennifer, the relationship with whom has been really meaningful to me in my life.

I remember you saying to me at that time — probably around the opening weekend, and I never forgot it — you said, "I'm in the worst possible place you can be. I can sell magazines, but not movie tickets."

Yeah. I remember feeling like it was the worst of both worlds. I always viewed it that the tax you paid to get the chance to do this work was to sacrifice your private life, and people were going to have license to make sport of you to some degree. And I didn't go into it blindly. I knew that Sean Penn and Madonna were a tabloid story when I was young. I knew that could happen. Jennifer and I happened to be together at a time where the whole industry of celebrity journalism, if you want to call it that, sort of exploded. But I thought, "S---, this is really not how I had hoped to go, where I'm going to be, what? Famous for being an a--hole or a failure and not able to work?"

I can't think of a worse outcome. Because I've never found any virtue in fame at all. I've probably gotten out of a couple of [traffic] tickets. I've gotten reservations at restaurants. But the whole point was to be able to do this job. That was it. Otherwise, what is it worth? It's corrosive. It changes the relationships you have with other people. But one of the things that time showed me is that it is those moments of crisis or pain or perspective that are strong enough to make you go, "F--- it. Well, this doesn't work. I've got to do something different." I've definitely learned more from failure than I have from success.

Yeah. Well, we're not ending on the note of failure because the postscript to the story is, after 2006, you became a world-renowned director. You won an Academy Award for Best Picture, which is really the highest mountaintop in our business. I'm wrapping this up because I'm late for dinner. My kids are staring at me through the window.

I know how it goes.

But you've had a remarkable last decade and a half that is culminating with some of your best acting work that you've ever done and The Tender Bar is another example of that. And I dare say your writing is pretty damn good. I was really proud of the work you did on The Last Duel.

I love you, man. I want you to do all my interviews. Are you cheap? [Laughs]

I'm free, actually. I'm free.

To be honest... Thank you. It's true, it ends on a much happier note. Not easy and not always smooth, but good. I don't know that that would've been possible for me alone, doing this job in this world without somebody I grew up with who I loved, who I knew loved me and had my back, who believed in me, and whom the popularity of my movies or what people said about me wasn't going to change what they thought about me.

This friendship has been essential and defining and so important to me in my life. There were a few critical times, which are private and I don't want to share, but where your support was so profoundly meaningful to me that I don't think I would've been able to be successful without it. So let me take this opportunity to thank you—

—in a Zoom interview. [Laughs] Congratulations on another great piece of work, and I hope people go see The Tender Bar. We've just got to get people to see the movies.

Well, that may go away, but we'll always be good. And we'll finally have figured it out when we hit the dinner-theater circuit.

We're each a fan club of one for the other. All right, man. I love you.

I love you, buddy.

[b-sai-des]

An Interview with Lilith a.k.a nicho santos is dead (pt1)

Earlier this week I had a really in depth and insightful conversation with a good friend of mine from high school, Lilith Santos (they/them), an experimental hip-hop producer studying music production at Berklee College of Music in Boston. They’ve been doing a lot of really interesting work with their solo albums and collaborations with different artists, and I was really grateful to hear from them about a variety of different topics like their collaborations, their personal journey as an artist, elements of their particular approach to production, and their personal philosophy as an artist and a person. 

We started catching up on what we’ve been up to. Lilith said that they’ve been busy with a lot of classes, but they’re doing some upcoming shows in Boston as well.

I’ve gotten to know Lilith pretty well these last few years, and one of the things I’ve always admired about them is their authenticity and sense of community. In our big and close-knit high school friend group I’ve definitely felt this, and Lilith spoke a lot here about the way that they look at things and how that’s shaped and been shaped by their journey with music. 

I know you've been working with a lot of different artists lately, like Annie Elise, Maz, Ghais Guevara, and asoookha. Is there a particular story when you met one of these artists? What was the start of one of those creative collaborations? 

Oh, for sure. I could give you the answer right now. I could do it for all of them, actually. It's not that deep. If we're thinking chronologically, then the oldest person that I know from these two, it has to be Annie, Annie first. Annie is someone that I met online during the peak of the COVID pandemic and all that whole jazz and stuff. And it was a Discord server that I would regularly flock to because I did moderate in that (laughs) as lame as that sounds. Jokes aside, I am very proud of doing my role in the community for that amount of time. And actually, Annie is the person that convinced me to go to Berkeley to begin with. 

Oh, wow. 

Yeah, she was the person that was actually willing to encourage me to audition, do all the stuff that I had to. But it kind of just started off on like a very mutual basis. Like we had friends of friends, she was at Berklee at the time before she dropped out. And, you know, we would talk a lot, but nothing really would suffice until I really got into Boston.

Now, maybe it was like a couple months before I got to Boston. And keep in mind the mindset that I was, I just had gotten out of like an eight-month relationship and she had just gotten out of like a three-year relationship. I told this story to a lot of people because it's really funny how we ended up coming with this idea [their music project, The Heartmenders] to essentially cope with our loss of partners, but also the gain of our fruits of a new life, essentially. And what happened was I was visiting Boston beforehand, just to kind of check out the school, visit Annie and all that. And I remember the first night that I arrived there, I'm driving over to her place, I'm trying to find parking and I get a text and she's like, “Sorry if I seem upset today. I just got broken up with.”

And I'm like, holy shit, that couldn't have been more insane timing than what happened to me. So, you know, being a friend first, I listened to her. We went out to get pizza,  it was like this whole, it was a really nice night. I look back at that night with such fondness and joy, but in retrospect it really was the start of everything. 

Cause I remember she would text me two months later, on and off talking. This was after I got into Berklee. After she helped me with my audition process, the year prior, she was like, “You know, well, since my ex doesn't have the performance privileges to be with me anymore, do you want to perform with me?” Already getting a gig opportunity before school started was crazy to me, and I'm so fucking grateful for this moment in our friendship. I'm very grateful for her in general. I can tell you that I'm grateful for all these people. When I got that opportunity, it was such an easy thing to say yes to, and I'm so glad I did. 

It was at Bill's bar, for a Breaking Sound showcase. And it seemed like the biggest thing in my life. Now it's like, you know, footnote of the past, but it's like one of the biggest things that happened to me. And in that period of time of moving in, getting settled into school and figuring stuff out before the show, we were like, “Hey, let's just make some music together so I don't have to just perform like all your stuff – no offense, I just want to be able to perform some of my stuff as well.” And she’s like “Yeah, sure!”

I feel like we were super lucky in how we caught lightning in the bottle that day when I was making beats over at her house and we were laying down vocals. She was so easy to work with. She really knew her way around the DAW [digital audio workstation], I was still more or less an amateur. I'm still a student in my craft, I'm still learning how to do all of that stuff, but, you know, seeing her work inspired me to figure out a work process on my own, work harder on my stuff. And we would just end up sending a bunch of shit back and forth to each other from the summer before I moved into Boston. 

I think the important thing was that the relationship, the friendship, was already established. So that made the work 500 times easier. Being able to work with her on that, get like devil's advocate on certain inputs, but also just being able to rock out and like have no stress and making shit with was probably one of the biggest blessings I could ever receive, and it definitely did carry into how I treat a lot of my collaborators and like, you know, how much I want to do, see the chemistry, you know, whatever's up with that.

And, you know, Annie and I have been like really close friends since I still keep up with her from time to time on the phone. She's super busy nowadays, but she always makes time to respond and do all this stuff with me, so I find myself grateful.

Annie Elise and Lilith Santos are The Heartmenders.

We're working on a new album right now. We're taking our time with it.

That gets me excited, because the first EP – I was blown away by that.

And that was like, those are really old tracks. Actually, I'll send you the old demos right now, I think it was on a fucking Medium article. I wrote about it in the Medium article. I do talk about the entire story in a lot more depth. I'm really glad I wrote about it. It was a really fun exercise (laughs). Yeah, it was just a fun time. It's really funny looking back at my previous heartbreak, and I don't feel so strongly about it right now. You know, it's just kind of funny knowing a time where like I deadass wrote about it, and it was so cathartic for me for no reason. 

I can give you another collaborator too, which one are you the most interested in? I could do all of them. 

Yeah, whatever you feel most interested in talking about. It sounds like you have a really good repertoire and a good relationships with all these people. It's cool to hear that kind of camaraderie that's there that you have with all the people that you're working with, and it sounds like a really nice community there.

Oh, for sure. For a lot of things, especially in school, the one thing I have to remind myself at the beginning was that I'm here for the school. Obviously, I'm here to make my parents proud. And it was already a crazy journey, becoming a musician, taking it seriously, and then actually going to a school for it. But the more important thing that I'm here for is the community. I mean, I've made some amazing friends. I could like, talk so much about them, you know, just how true to themselves they are, and how much they inspire me to keep working on things and do things a different way or see things a certain way. It's honestly super inspiring. 

One of those people is Maz. Now, Maz is someone I met recently in the whole grand scheme of things. I became very good friends with him like a year ago. He's like one of my closest homies I ever made at the school. And we met off of a beat battle for the Berkeley Hip Hop Club that I was recommended to do when, you know, everyone was still trying to find their friends for college, their roommates, and be like, “oh, like I have this thing in common, too.” I didn't meet him there, but a friend of mine was like, “Yo you should join the beat battle. The guy who runs Berklee Hip Hop right now is judging it, and I think he would be really cool for him to see your work.” I took him up on the offer. He really liked my work! 

And we kind of knew of each other, but it was really when we met in person – a lot of the stuff, especially for all these collaborations, except for one, really blossomed after meeting them in person after they're really getting to know them as a person. I'm a very social person. I try to be at least, and, you know, (laughs) it definitely shows. 

Now, the funny thing is with Soul Snatchers, that whole EP was just tracks made for fun. And we somehow just worked our way into a really nice, concise circle full of ideas and such. it's just really easy to just make something, put down vocals, and then be done with it. The surprising this about this was I exclusively produced it. Another great thing about the collaboration was that I had Maz there helping me with the beat as well. Maz already is like one of the greatest working producers I know at Berklee. Like, he knows how to mix, he knows how to engineer, he knows how to experiment just enough, but also keep it in the realm of like, digestible. You know, for someone like me, that's a bit of a task! So seeing Maz do it and also being a part of his band helps too. It's amazing. And I think the main thing I got from this was that we were just having fun. A lot of the music that we make is never really that deep.

There are certain things in the production that Maz wants to fulfill every time we have a session. And whenever those prerequisites are filled up, I get to do whatever I want. So it's kind of taught me a lot about restraint. He's very set on what to do. He's very clean, thorough, efficient with it. It inspired me for my own production, just kind of honing down my process even more to like almost on a molecular level, especially for just like basic ideas.

It's really nice. I have like a mini Maz in my head sometimes telling me to make split decisions or not, and then just sticking with them until the end of the song. 

It seems like from all your collaborations, you kind of picked up things from them, and you've learned from each of them. I was also wondering, for your most recent album, distant benevolence – I was struck  when you released side B, because I could definitely see how you and asoookha had two distinct styles, but they kind of came together on both side A and side B.

Yeah! Ah, oh, man, ah that collaboration was a lot of fun! So they mentioned this in their YouTube description of the actual tape itself. They literally uploaded it like a day ago. In the comments, he does recall the story of when this first happened. Originally, we were friends of a friend. Shout out to TEYO. If you're reading this, what up? That kid is fucking talented. And amazing.

TEYO! on Spotify

He was the one that brought asoookha and I together. I remember hearing off of one of his tracks. I think it was "the lights dim as I live." It's a good song. The production on that was like, absolutely stellar. And like hearing that come from an 18 year old, right? Fucking wild! Like I was making stuff at like 18, but I don't think I ever sounded like that good. So I was like, okay, I had to see what was up with this guy. 

I get invited to the discord server and I immediately make friends with this dude. Asoookha is awesome. We have a lot of the same interests. We're both into the same, like DJ and HoloLive, VTuber shit. It's a, it's a really funny thing to bond over. But at the same time, like our shared love for these like weird ass interests, like anime and like VTubing and like just weird fucking unplayable video games, it really brought us closer.

Youtube upload of Distant Benevolence Side B by asoookha.

And this guy's in Australia. Now keep in mind, this is not my first rodeo with a long distance friendship– I have this friend named Allanah, crazy voice actor, who I met a couple years ago over the internet and across the sea. So awesome. Like just such an awesome individual– Asoookha lives all the way in Australia, so I know how this shit works already. I know what kind of times to be up at. I know when to hit them up, when to not hit them up type of deal. And it was just really easy for us to get along. 

And one day, I think it was like maybe a couple of months ago, they were like, yo Lilith, do you want to just like make a collab album? That would be really funny. And I was like, as funny as that does sound, I think it would sound pretty good. So I went along with it. And I think for the entire time, asoookha was just not expecting for this to work out. Like, it was just going to be like another, like, “Oh, like, you know, we'll say we'll do it, but we're never actually going to do”, but we, we kind of came in and swept! It was such a crazy display of a two way street I've ever seen, especially from Boston all the way to Australia. We were really on top of our shit.

And that's what was like, so surprising about it. And, you know, our styles are super different. I'm very – I don't think my stuff should be perfect at all. I don't want it to be perfect. That's against my whole being as a producer, my style. Just having the weird dichotomy of like, super clean, nostalgic beats from asoookha and like this dirty but like raw and emotional stuff coming from me, it was like magical to me, hearing everything front to back. We thought about the track order and stuff together. And we just realized like, it would sound good if we just went from one emotion to the other, just like quite literally had two sides of the tape dedicated to each of us. It was kind of easy from then on.

I'm very thankful to call myself his friend. He's probably one of the craziest, talented producers out there in terms of sampling and finding stuff and getting really deep, like deep into that pocket.

I was surprised to hear “X-Wing” being sampled in one of the asoookha tracks on side B.

“video games SUCK?” 

Yeah! The way he utilized Denzel Curry's vocals from X-Wing and kind of just completely flipped it.

The band [CENSORED (sorry, no sample snitching)], I think it’s a flip of them, if I recall correctly. But like, no, they're just, asoookha’s kind of crazy with it. Like they, like a lot of people just kind of slap on rap acapellas onto beats, and they’re the only couple of people that I know that can do that super well. But it surprised me to hear asoookha just threw their thing on that. Like, I mean, I don't do that a lot anymore as much as I used to, but I've been thinking about it more and more now. It's just kind of inspiring. A lot of the people I'm very grateful to. I'm so fucking grateful to be in this position that I'm in. They just kind of proved me wrong in a lot of ways. That's really all I can ask for from people! Like just prove me wrong! Show me I can do something a different way. That's really it.

I could definitely see both of your styles, there's such a beautiful synthesis on the final product. So yeah, I definitely, I definitely see the fruits of that labor.

For sure. Oh man, I'm gonna have this new whole list of shout outs right now. Shout out to Eli. Shout out to VVN. Shout out to Kyle, my boy Kyle. Shout out to Maz. Shout out to fucking Nate, man. Shout out to Quinn. Shout like, I got so many people to shout out. I don't even know if I can fit this shit in. I got so many people to thank for like, in terms of music stuff. Cause you know, it's just you know, this industry is already hard as is, as an artist being solo. Having a community just to kind of back you up and uplift you when you need it, but also being able to give that energy back and uplift that back to them: that is like one of the things I live for. Friends and family are awesome.

As for your upcoming shows, where are you going to be playing at? 

I'm doing something for the Women Producers Showcase at The Loft at Berklee. It's going to be a nice little show, not too much. Then I got like a little thing going on at Bencils Live. It should be on the 18th, if I recall correctly. it's going to be like a whole 30-minute set party kind of vibes. But I'm just going to be doing my thing. I don't know. It's just going to be a bit hectic in terms of preparation. I just go by feeling to be honest (laughs).

One of the things that's clear with Lilith is the sense of gratitude she has for the people she works with and have friendships with and the opportunities she's had. Lilith really values the nature of collaboration, and they've learned from each of their projects with different artists and friends.

After this point, our interview turned more towards Lilith's personal journey and their specific style. Lilith explains the significance of their artist name and their journey of coming out as nonbinary along and their personal philosophy which carries over into their personal style. Go to part two.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Little Girls Blue (Lease, 1978)

This movie and its sequel are built on the schoolgirl fetish, which is not my thing, but what I think makes them stand out is the way they grant agency to and align our perspective with the objects of fetishization. Take the opening scene, a fantasy sequence that starts with a woman swimming through the sky, and then a pan down the shaft of a penis, and then a schoolgirl slowly approaching, and then the ensuing blowjob. We don’t just get the blowjob in closeup, but we keep cutting to the schoolgirl’s eyes and her quivering lips as she observes from afar. This scene probably works on the straight ahead level of schoolgirl fantasy, but it takes the perspective of the schoolgirl, evoking not just her fantasizing, but her curiosity. The fact that we don’t even see the male performer in full likewise serves double purposes. There’s the fact that most straight male viewers likely don’t want to pay too much attention to the dudes in a given scene, but again, the way the scene is framed suggests that the schoolgirl’s curiosity isn’t even about a specific figure so much as the sexual experience itself.

With the boarding school setting of this film and the summer camp setting of the sequel, they play in part as hardcore female-centric responses to the horndog comedies that were popular at the time like Animal House and Porky’s. Which is to say, that they’re upfront about dealing in adolescent fantasy and traveling in politically incorrect waters, which makes it easier to appreciate the empathy and tenderness they bring to depicting these scenarios. It helps that the heroines are played by Casey Winters, Samantha Morgan and Elaine Wells in some very likable performances. And it also helps that the sex scenes are imaginatively realized, visually stylized with black or white backgrounds and bright primary colours (a blue bouncing ball figures heavily in one fantasy sequence), with dreamy electronic music (like if Vangelis scored a porno) that only cuts out when we gear up for the climax. Even when the movie arguably missteps (one of the fantasies is framed from the perspective of the gym teacher instead of the student he desires played by Lori Blue), the movie finds a way to twist it around to reassert the agency of its heroines (even if none of this would pass muster in real life, and the twist echoes a notorious plot point in Revenge of the Nerds).

The sequel retains a lot of the qualities of the original, but is perhaps even more aggressive about dissolving the barriers between fantasy and reality, with the latter inconveniently intruding upon scenes of the former. I missed Winters and Morgan, but Well and Blue return, the latter having a sweet relationship with a counselor she’s helping learn English, and also sporting bangs to boot. This time around the girls also sport blue berets, which make them look either like girl scouts or UN Peacekeepers. We also get Kevin James looking like he escaped from the set of Revenge of the Nerds, just to hammer the connection home.

A few additional notes:

Wells persuades her teacher to not let her fail her class. He does this by crossing out her F and writing an A. Were he bolder or more creative, he could have simply turned the F into an A.

The gym teacher asks Blue to stay back after class and has her do some written homework. This threw me off, until I saw the square root symbol (which grows extra large as the movie segues into a fantasy sequence), at which point I realized that the guy probably taught multiple subjects. Woody Allen’s aphorism about the teaching profession does not hold in at least this one case.

Aside from the imitation Vangelis, there’s one bit of scoring that sounds like an electronic version of “Anything Goes”, which plays alongside a montage of a bunch of students alternately marching and sucking cock in unison (the latter is accompanied by black backgrounds and mirrors to create the illusion of greater numbers). I do think this is one area where the sequel comes up short, as the scoring is a bit more conventional. I did appreciate the one sex scene where oldies played on the radio diegetically. Both movies are astute about the importance of sound in shaping the intimate atmosphere of these scenes.

[sohemotional]

Marco and Summer: ♦ ■ ☮

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

They're both pretty hardcore jocks. Marco likes boxing, football, soccer, tennis and karate. He's even on the football team at school. Summer is more into non-contact sports like surfing, swimming, archery, skiing, and darts. When Marco gets older he gets into acting and modeling for a while. They're both into dancing and singing too. They both like shopping like their moms and jewellery like Santana. They're creative, Summer especially is really into drawing/painting and crafts. Both brothers also love animals, especially cats.

Marco would share a lot of Brittany's interests in otherworldly/whimsical stuff. He'd have all of these theories about ghosts/aliens/etc and he'd go on UFO finding missions with Britt or ghost hunting. He's very superstitious about supernatural stuff like Santana as well. He and Summer inherited the psychic third eye from Santana or at least he thinks so.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

They shared a room for a while when they were young. When Marco was really little, for the first two years of his life he had his own room. Then after Summer was born, Brittana had a nursery for him but as they got a little older the boys shared a room with a bunk bed. It was car-themed, with bold red/blue everything and very boyish. They literally have a million Hot Wheels cars lined up by their beds and Legos that Santana always steps on.

When Marco is a teen he gets his own room because he won't settle for anything less. The boys are really spoiled and basically get anything they want from their moms. Marco's room is really dramatic and fit for a king with a four poster bed. Everything is black or bright red pretty much. Summer's room as a teen is more surfer-themed with pictures of him skiing or hanging out with his friends everywhere and a map on the ceiling - lots of blue and white.

☮ - friendship headcanon

They're each other's best friend along with their moms for most of their lives. The four of them are super close, in a way that neither Brittany nor Santana were close to their parents. I mean Brittany does love her parents of course and they're close but I feel like Marco and Summer would have a really special bond with their moms and they'd be more involved in each other's lives. From the moment Marco can remember he was always his little brother's protector and Summer always looked up to him.

They're friendlier with others than their moms were. They're mean boys and they're kind of standoffish like Britt and San sure but they also get more involved in their Glee Club and their friendships. Aside from his brother, Marco's closest friend is Stella Hudson (Finchel's daughter). They basically grew up together... in a weird way because they bickered a lot and lowkey hated each other as little kids but then get very attached to each other. He's kind of like Santana in the sense that he mainly cares about his little brother/Stella and his moms - everyone else is less of a priority.

Summer is friendlier and more extroverted in some ways. He's not into performing on stage as much as his brother or as loud but he has a lot of actual close friendships outside of the family.

[a-master-procrastinator]

20, 21, 29 and 32 (Some OC questions)?

Yay, answering in less than a week! Jokes aside, thank you!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

One of my side characters from Silver Claw crew (hey, haven't mentioned them in a long while), Rykeer, casually plays an instrument (something like a seven-string hallikset that was in Fallen Order, or a xantha) and sings. Not professionally, but he took enough lessons to be able to perform for himself and sometimes in public places, his workshop, and later in Lorri's cantina. Mostly he plays and sings popular or folk songs.

When it came to class characters, I had a struggle figuring out who would be singing more than just in refresher or at karaoke. And then my brain decides that Kerstes would. Her parents noticed her love for singing and decided that this shouldn't be wasted (definitely not inspired by Jadus and his daughter), at least until she would be sent to Korriban for final Sith trials. And so Kerstes was a singer in a choir, sometimes getting solo parts. She would often perform traditional Sith music, orchestral music, and participate in musicals. The voice actress for female sith warrior is perfect for Kerstes, so if there are any clips of her singing (I didn't find them, but I probably didn't search good enough), that what Kerstes' singing would sound like.

Because she was forced to sing by parents, she hated it, so for quite at some point she quit. But, as I say, "once a musician, always a musician", so after the trials on Korriban Kerstes starts singing again (mostly songs that she already knew, or some traditional songs of twi'leks, which Vette was very excited about). She wouldn't be able to do that a lot bc life as Darth Baras' apprentice doesn't have time for this, but she would still love every moment of it. Unfortunately (since I'm very nice to my characters), she won't be able to follow this newfound passion for long - after Draahg's attempt to kill her on Quesh, her throat was badly damaged, including vocal cords, which meant Kerstes wouldn't be able to sing again. The inability to bond and express emotions through music pained her, but also deepened her hatred towards Draahg and Baras (which she used against them).

Also, while I was looking for screenshots for this post, found this one (this is on Belsavis orbital station, when Draahg tries to kill the main character again). "I'll tear that lie from your throat!" - man, this line hits different now.

21. Your most artistic OC

A little confused by the semantics, so if we go with "the best artist", then it's Alaine (trooper), one of those characters I never talk about bc my brain tends to push her to the sidelines. She went to art school in childhood and teenage years, and continued to improve her skills after graduation. After singing up for military service, duty always has to come first, but in her free time Alaine enjoys painting. In fact, sometimes she uses art as a form of activism - she witnesses a lot of things in her line of work that she thinks the public should know about, so art becomes a statement, an instrument of getting public's attention about certain problems. And, of course, there is a lot of joke-y and cute drawings with the Havoc Squad.

If it means "most expressive and creative in their activity", then there is a bunch of my characters (Rykeer, Kerstes and Alaine included), and I don't exactly have the energy to mention them all, so I'll go with one.

Iressa is quite creative - after all, lightsaber duels can be a form of art. She'll study her opponent during a duel, calculate a way to defeat them, and she'll add probably unnecessary moves to make it look more like a deadly dance while still being efficient (she's not above some flexing). Also wood carving, she goes creative with it as well.

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Auletta for sure - she likes exploring, and doing it alone reduces the chance of someone else peaking into her plans.

Colishan (DS!consular - another character I never talk about, but that's bc he's hella difficult to figure out) - especially if it's a building that the Jedi would advise avoiding. He's constantly exploring and learning, but doesn't like other Jedi knowing about it bc they've nagged him about it a lot.

There are probably other characters, but I'm a bit lazy, so for now that's it (plus don't want to take more time to answer).

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Honestly, I don't know enough about horror games (and I'm a bit tired), so I'll have to skip this one, sorry!

[celiaelise]

Genuinely I wish I liked movies more!!! It makes me feel alienated from other actors and creatives when they start talking about film, and I'm like, "uhhh I only watch what my family puts on when I happen to be hanging out with them." I'm so uncultured!!

I'm not even sure how much I dislike movies anymore, tbh. Like, when I was a kid I found them stressful and I overstimulating, and that's really why I rarely watched them for a long time. Like, genuinely, I got so stressed out I cried and had to be carried, wailing, from the theater during Finding Nemo. At 8 years old. I also think I may have gotten extremely upset watching The Parent Trap. Even through high school, I hated when a movie got put on in class, because it meant I was going on an emotional journey against my will, even if the movie sucked.

Eventually I developed the coping mechanisms of joking and talking during movies, which, as you can imagine, only some people can appreciate. 😅 (I can mostly behave myself in a movie theater, but I also don't particularly enjoy going to them.) And I feel like I've definitely started to learn to appreciate the artistry in film. Like, there ARE plenty of movies I've watched and been like, "wow that was really great and i liked it a lot!" (Though also plenty where I was like, "that was objectively well made but I had a Bad Time watching it.")

But I really ONLY watch movies when I'm with others, and I live by myself, so. 🤷🏻‍♀️ A lot of it is still that sense of, "I don't have the energy for the emotions this will invoke", but I don't know if that's real or just, like, a depression/avoidance thing. And I don't know if the difference of having others to bounce quips off of is actually that big, y'know?

Plus there's the adhd/"phone addiction"/"it's always easier to just keep scrolling than initiate a new task" thing 🙄 idk. It just kind of makes me feel like a child! Part of me wonders if it's a Mental Illness Symptom that could recede if my mental health improves.

I actually have an actor friend who is (also) autistic + adhd who feels similarly about viewing live theater! Which is funny, because they actually LOVE going to the movies, but a stage play makes them too anxious. It's also funny because they DO live theater, but they don't want to see other people's shows. I know I've definitely had the thought that I would much rather be in many movies than watch them! 😅 I kinda get their anxiety about watching shows, but to me it's much smaller than for movies, and a live performance feels special enough that I can put it aside.

[mybookplacenet]

Author Interview: Owen B Greenwald

Tell us about yourself.: I moved from Manhattan to the San Francisco Bay Area when I was three. I have no real memories of New York, so I consider myself a bay area native—but ask me to choose between avocado toast and a bagel and you’ll see my roots still run deep. My fourth grade teacher, Roger, loved to give his students creative writing assignments. Every few weeks or so, we’d write new stories and take turns reading them aloud to the class. The day I decided I would get into writing, I had just finished reading my latest story. As we were dismissed for recess, Roger took me aside. I don’t remember everything he said to me, but I do remember one sentence: “If you don’t grow up to be a writer, I’m gonna kick your ass.” It was exactly the sort of blunt, irreverent, vaguely threatening advice my younger self needed. I was a bright kid—reading and numbers came easily to me—but those assignments were abstract tasks, always given within the context of school. I did them because they were given to me to do. With Roger’s words, writing assignments took on new importance. If I did them well enough, and got better, maybe it could be my job. I could write books just like the ones I read, making people fall in love, as I had, with characters from distant, fantastical lands. I took writing more seriously after that. Roger’s expectations stayed with me all the way through college; I left school with degrees in literary arts and writing for performance, as well as a contract to complete six young adult novels. That was the start of my writing career, and I’m determined to keep at it! Not only is it fun and freeing, I also get to stave off my perpetual fear of Roger showing up and kicking my ass if I give up. Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?: I'm a bay area native. I grew up on the Peninsula. However, I'm a lot more at home in unfamiliar worlds, whether they be fantastical or far in the future. At a young age, I discovered portals to these worlds called books! The bay area has had very little influence on my writing, but the worlds I explored as a young reader such as Oz, Middle-Earth, and Tatooine had much greater impact. Do you have any unusual writing habits? I try to write a little bit a day. And I do mean a little bit. Five sentences. Of course, at five sentences a day, it would take forever to finish something. But committing to five gets me to the computer with the word doc opens and starts my fingers moving. Usually, by the time I hit five, I’m warmed up and ready to keep going. Sometimes, my schedule is packed full of other responsibilities, social engagements, etc. On those occasions, maybe all I can do is squeeze in five sentences at the end of a long day. But all that means is that even on my busiest days, I make forward progress. What authors have influenced you? I'm a bay area native. I grew up on the Peninsula. However, I'm a lot more at home in unfamiliar worlds, whether they be fantastical or far in the future. At a young age, I discovered portals to these worlds called books! The bay area has had very little influence on my writing, but the worlds I explored as a young reader such as Oz, Middle-Earth, and Tatooine had much greater impact. Do you have any advice for new authors? Write! It seems simple, but that really is the most important step, and it’s a step that a lot of hopeful writers never take. There is no substitute for putting words on a page. They don’t have to be good words. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed they won’t be. But the worst case scenario is, you toss them out and try again. More likely, you have a foundation that you can revise. It is so much easier to start from something than to start from nothing, so give yourself that something. The more you write, the more you’ll develop your voice, and the easier it will be to write more. If you don’t have time, get inventive. Write on your lunch break. Dictate sentences on your commute. Don’t worry about being profound or changing the world. Just write, and the rest will take care of itself. What is the best advice you have ever been given? "Don't kiss me like that, kiss me like *this*." If you mean WRITING advice, "Good writing lives in the gap between leading the reader and trusting them to lead themselves." What are you reading now? "The Fifth Elephant", by Terry Pratchet. Discworld is a modern classic! What's your biggest weakness? High cholesterol. What is your favorite book of all time? It's difficult to pick just one. I enjoy books for so many different reasons, and no book does everything perfectly! Today, I'll say The Final Empire, by Brandon Sanderson. The setting is unique, memorable, and evocative. Sanderson builds plots like a master watchmaker, assembling each cog into place and then watching as it winds down. The twists make me gasp. Truly a master class in storytelling! When you're not writing, how do you like to spend your time? Cooking, ballroom dancing, playing board/tabletop games, cuddling cute dogs, or just chatting with friends. There's so much to do and so little time to do it! This is also why my books take so long. Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you? I don't have any memories from before I could read at this point. I wish I did; that sounds like a magical moment to remember. Whatever it was, it clearly made me want to keep going! What has inspired you and your writing style? Other authors I admire are my main source of inspiration. For specific projects, it can be any little thing. The current state of the world. A silly hypothetical a friend suggested. An analogy that pops into my head at the wrong time. That sort of thing. What are you working on now? At the moment of this interview, I’m hard at work laying the groundwork for making Weapons of the Mind a success. New writing has taken a backseat to that, unfortunately, although a sequel is very much in the works. I'd also like to pull together a production of my play Midsummer Night. What is your favorite method for promoting your work? Word of mouth. If someone enjoyed the book and tells their friend (or better yet, buys it for them as a gift), that's a more powerful advertisement than anything social media or paid ads can accomplish. What's next for you as a writer? I have a few projects I’m trying to get publish-worthy: a few short stories, a novella set in the Weapons universe, and one very long fantasy epic that draws a lot of inspiration from stories of King Arthur while exploring a rough approximation of the current political landscape. It’s meant to be a look at how kingdoms fall, not through invasion or any external force, but by the efforts of bad actors, the friction of petty grievances, and the failures of a system beyond the power of any lone individual to change. Who can say if there’s a market for it? The most important thing is that it makes my fingers come alive at the keyboard. How well do you work under pressure? Not well. This is actually probably my biggest weakness. Can I change my answer? Unfortunately, I work even worse when not under pressure. So it's a matter of picking my poison. How do you decide what tone to use with a particular piece of writing? I don't. The piece decides. I'm just the conduit. Sure, I'll go in with ideas, but sometimes the writing surprises me and I end up with more humor or more darkness (for example) than I expected. All my initial thoughts come from a desire to amplify how I want my readers to feel when reading. If you could share one thing with your fans, what would that be? I want readers to know that I’m always reachable! Contact me via my website. I love talking about my stories, answering questions, etc. I also have a cute Havanese puppy that I love showing off to people, so if you like receiving random dog pictures, I’ve got that too. My website also has an experimental feature called the GIAB Portal that I hope you’ll take a look at. The universe of Weapons of the Mind is much larger and deeper than one book (or even an eventual two trilogies) could ever hope to cover, and the GIAB Portal is a great way to catch extra glimpses of that world—and maybe some hints at what is to come. Lastly, I’d like people to know that I recently designed the expansion to one of my favorite board games: Anna’s Roundtable. Fans of tactical gameplay in the style of Fire Emblem should definitely give this game a look. I had a ton of fun with this project, and I think it shows in the final product. Owen B Greenwald's Author Websites and Profiles Website Amazon Profile Owen B Greenwald's Social Media Links Facebook Page Read the full article

[nouman-ahmed123]

ExtraEmily Age, Height, Career, Personal Life, and Net Worth

ExtraEmily is a social media influencer, YouTuber, and Twitch streamer from America.

She gained fame for her in-person Twitch channel streams. She was shocked to watch herself eating undercooked chicken there recently, even though fans were asking her to stop.

In addition to streaming games on the Nintendo Wii, Nintendo Switch, and occasionally the PC, Emily is well-known for her in-person broadcasts and fast runs of Super Mario 64.

However, Emily has gained recognition for her charisma, sense of humor, and ability to amuse her audience while playing games.

Early Life of Emily

The 16th of January, 1998, saw Emily’s birth in Omaha, Nebraska, in the US. Her real name is Emily Xuechun Zhang, and as of 2024, she is 26 years old.

She also shares the traits of being a Christian by faith, Chinese-American by nationality.

She possesses American citizenship, even though she is of Asian descent. Her parents have been highlighted on her streams, but she hasn’t disclosed a lot of personal information about them. The same was true for her siblings; we were unable to find any information.

With respect to her academic history, she finished her studies in a nearby school in her hometown. Emily received her financial engineering bachelor’s degree from Columbia University in 2020.

Career of Emily

ExtraEmily started her streaming journey in the midst of the world health crisis. She decided to give streaming a go because she had a ton of spare time at that point. On April 20, 2020, she finally started her Twitch channel.

That May, though, was when she debuted on streaming. She doesn’t stream video games in their entirety, in contrast to most other streamers on the platform. She primarily performs IRL feeds and just chats, occasionally adding gaming streams.

She continued streaming and took on a few part-time jobs after earning her bachelor’s degree. Nevertheless, she was fired from her job for streaming during working hours, thus, in June 2022, she turned pro.

Despite regularly streaming, her channel didn’t expand much in the first year, but later on, things started to pick up. She already has more than 200,000 followers on the network by 2024.

She streams practically each day of the week now that she is a full-time streamer. She plays video games like Super Mario Odyssey, Wii Sports Resort, Super Mario 64, Clash of Clans, and many more aside from IRL streaming.

She started working with One True King (OTK Media) on January 31, 2023, as a content creator. Prominent streamers, including Esfand, Emiru, Rich Campbell, Jschlatt, Mizkif, and many more, are members of the media organization. She has had exponential growth since joining the renowned media organization. She currently has more than 371k Twitch followers.

In addition, she has been recognized for Parasocial, OTK Emote Only, Geeked: Toon In, and OTK Loot Goblins. In 2023, she presented an award at the Streamer Awards. She frequently uploads photos of her travels to her Instagram account, @extra.emily, since she enjoys visiting new places.

She also signed up for her @extra.emily Instagram account in May 2020, and in February 2023, her account received a verified blue tick. She visited Abu Dhabi in 2022 and posted pictures to Instagram. Additionally, she regularly uploads creative and gaming videos to her official TikTok account, @extraemily, which has 2.8 million likes and 71.2k followers. This is done to draw in followers.

Similar to this, on October 28, 2019, she signed up for the YouTube account @extraemily in order to post her videos. On her YouTube channel, @extraemily, she posts well-known gaming videos that are entertaining and educational to watch. Emily is a driven individual who gained rapid notoriety due to the excellent caliber of her work.

Social Media Accounts

Instagram

Twitch

Youtube

Height, Age, Weight, Star Sign and Net Worth

Emily is 26 years old as of 2024. She weighs about 52 kg and is 5 feet, 4 inches tall. She is Capricorn by birth. 

Emily has an estimated net worth of $200,000. Twitch is her main source of revenue. She streams for the majority of her time, but she also earns a steady income from this platform. Zhang’s main sources of income are advertisements, gifts, and praise.

Personal Life

Emily has a romantic connection with her attractive boyfriend Felix, who works as a gamer. Extra has kept details about her previous and current relationships private because she is a private person.

Interesting Facts

In March 2021, she became a Twitch partner.

She streamed nonstop in April 2021 for 105 hours.

Despite having a 3.96 GPA from her bachelor’s degree, she admitted to using dishonesty to get it.

The talent agency United Talent Agency is in charge of managing her.

On Mizkif’s school quiz show on OTK, she took home a $50,000 prize.

She appeared on a billboard in New York City’s Times Square.

Zhang has brown hair and hazel eyes.

She travels frequently abroad, particularly to the United Arab Emirates.

Emily posts highlights from her live stream on her 83.6k-subscriber YouTube channel.

With 71.2k followers, she posts quick films to her TikTok account.

She has around 99k followers on Instagram, where she shares her stunning photos.

She joined in August 2020 and has 298 tweets and 114k followers on Twitter.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. Who is ExtraEmily?

Extra-Emily is an American-based Twitch streamer, YouTuber, and social media influencer. 

Q2. How tall is Emily?

She stands 5 feet, 4 inches tall.

Q3. How old is Emily?

She is 26 years old.

Q4. Is she married?

No, she is not married.

Q5. How rich is Emily?

Her net worth is $200,000 (estimated).

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Kayley Gunner Age, Height, Career, Personal Life and Net Worth

Joe Ando-Hirsh Age, Height, Career, Personal Life and Net Worth

[despair-to-future-arcs]

What’s Ritsuko’s problem?

'I'm... not sure honestly, I don't really know about Ritsuko's home life.'

'You don't? Well does she mention anything...?'

'Well not really, the only thing I know is that she doesn't like her family very much; mostly she took interest in music due to her grandma and even mention learning a lot from her.'

'In fact, without her - Tackorocki wouldn't be where it is today!'

'I could tell, I did look up the forums; it seems that aside from choosing music she also wrote the lyrics, design the costumes you made, plan where events were gonna be held and all that sort, right?'

'Yeah, she did all that - she planned everything out and I think I would say that without her, our performances wouldn't be as good...'

...

...

...

Date: August 17th, 2008

*As Ibuki walks in, she sees Ritsuko on her laptop...*

Ah Ritsuko, heya girl! What's going on...!

Damnit, they are beating us again! Shit!

Whoa... came at a bad time, huh?

Hey Ibuki, look here - seems those black cherries hack are trying to outshine us again...

*Ibuki walk over and look at the sales* Huh? Seems they sold like... 50 tickets ahead of us, must be good.

More like these assholes are trying to beat us, I mean hell the costumes and music isn't that good!

Hey everyone, sorry for being late! I just got this CD from Black Cherries!

What?! Kono the actual hell you traitor! *Ritsuko walk over and grab the CD which she throws in the trash bin*

He-Hey, Ritsuko give it back!

Why? I thought it was agree upon that we don't buy rival merch, so throw it out!

But I wanted to listen to their music...

So? If you listen to this music, everyone will think we are copying them! We are suppose to surprise them and prove we are better then them! So don't bring merch like this or listen to it! Got it?!

U-Understood...

Hey c'mon, don't yell at Kotono! She just wanted to listen to it!

Ibuki please don't start, as say - if we want our band to be better then these boy band hacks that only get attentions because sex sells then we need to prove it.

But isn't performing music about having fun and unity? We aren't doing this to be popular...!

Ibuki... I know you go on and on about all sense of unity or whatever but here's the thing; if you want to be the best, you have to work for it, meaning that you can't slack off or do whatever makes you happy even if it means we have to hurt our vocal cords then we will.

Remember, we are doing this to have people listen to our music, we want people to like our music, to buy it and get on the charts; we want to get notice and get our names out there but if we listen to others, we lose creativity and people will view us as nothing but uncreative hacks

I mean... I'm sure we all want that, right? We wanted to perform together to make sure the music club at our school stays open, right?

I mean... yeah, we are getting more members joining...

Exactly, as say - we have to make sure we are number 1 and work together; I mean if we get enough attention; maybe agencies or better Hope's Peak Academy will notice us.

Which means we need to make sure we work twice as hard then The Black Cherries and make sure we sold out better, so keep that in mind; I'll get to work on more songs but you better finish up the costumes and be sure the costume follows my design, not whatever you think.

*Ritsuko walks away, Manami and Himawari walk in*

... (I mean, Ritsuko is right... we all work as a band to become the best, I want people to listen to my music but not listening to other music, that isn't fun...)

'Ritsuko and I got into arguments like these; I just wanted to play but all she care about was business and attention; I mean yeah she made some points but I just didn't like it...'

[lilsnowpea93]

I have a few extra things to add to that longpost I made the other day about the typical working experience in America. 1. So, I suppose something I’d super advocate for is something like UBI, or at least funding of the arts of for creative people. The latter is a biased framing ofc. And we do have some safety nets here like food stamps and Medicaid. But I think those could be expanded slightly, especially healthcare. So, note that when I mention funding of arts/creativity, like we do have bigger problems. But arts are also important, and the first stuff to get cut. Anyway. I feel there’s this attitude from more centrist and conservative people I talk to that, if a system like UBI were put in place, it would lead to nobody wanting to work, especially if it was a good program (which won’t happen, like gov giving u a liveable paycheck monthly, they should do that for ppl who can’t work but broadscale it will never happen). Handout this and freeloader that. Cool cool cool. And so, in order for society to function, there are so many jobs that need to be performed, surely. Now, for many of those jobs that are considered more “skilled” and have large large responsibilities and huge consequences for mistakes- people typically go to school for that stuff, or spend years of their lives dedicated to it, it’s their thing they do. They also hopefully get paid well, which is the incentive sure. Also for the “unskilled” dirty shitty jobs that need to happen, employers should pay them well too, incentive. For transparency, I work in this field, but it’s small time. Now, idk if this is specific to me, but a lot of people I personally know, work retail and random stuff like that, (in contrast to those “societal bolster” jobs like being a building planner or whatever). And granted sometimes those overlap, like supermarket jobs. So, I think it’s fair to say that ppl working those retail or service jobs aren’t typically training their whole lives for those positions, they usually don’t love their job (sometimes you’ll hear well off ppl romanticize these types of jobs, get real usually ppl don’t want to do that for their whole life), they may have multiple of these jobs.. I get the sense this is the typical working experience in America? An aside- I’d like to note that the narrative we were all broadly told is that you “work your way up” but, haha no dear that does not happen for many people. “Started in the mailroom” type shit, stop it. Again, temporarily embarrassed millionaire brainwashing (or frankly, 100,000aire) is bullshit, I’m so tired of that. I get frustrated nearly daily how burned into my skull that is. It is a lie. Stop spreading it. It worked for a handful of people, do people understand the size of the workforce? It’s not designed for everyone to win, even a little bit. It’s clearly designed to exploit and make as much profit as possible “ethically” possible. ANYWAY, sorry. So these jobs, hate to say it but a lot of these places super don’t need to exist. They’re projects by big/med sized biz owners or corporations to make money for themselves. These are everywhere, look at all the dumb stores and restaurant chains everywhere. These are your options for pay if u don’t have a marketable specific skill (me included).. Look at all the advertising we’re bombarded with daily. U really think all that stuff is necessary for society to function? No lol. It’s people trying to get rich or rich people profiting. Now I think small one off businesses are cool and typically offer something to the local community, I have nothing against those, unless the boss is horrible and exploiting workers.. but u know what I’m saying? We’re surrounded by pointless shit designed for wealthy people to get wealthier, for us to give our hard earned money to that we got from our annoying unfulfilling job (mines ok, talking about average experience) to buy an overpriced chip bag 75% filled with air because our survival brain decided we need a salty interesting flavored snack and can’t resist. Is this not hell of our own making? My drama queen debut yes yes.

2. This is an obvious point, but I’ve always felt this (even though I’ve historically only worked for non profits I like.) When I clock in to work, I’m taking on the load and responsibility of someone else’s project. It’s like I’m living a separate life. And yes, baggage from my personal life will seep into my professional one, and definitely vice versa (worrying about work shit at home). So, personally, my own “project” is constantly majorly f’d. I have so many things I want to do at home, for myself, for my small projects where I make stuff for other people. Stuff like, I’ve hated my underwear drawer for 10+ years. I need to find out what cut and material of underwear I prefer, because it’s not the generic one. It takes time and research to do that. I do not have that time, and that’s a silly one of the 100 large important “me” projects that I need to eventually do. Stuff that impacts my daily life, like hating my underwear situation every day for 10 years. Every day I get up, and ignore all of that for my survival paycheck. I put me to the wayside, and put someone else’s thing to the front for hours and hours. Thankfully it’s a non profit I like. If it was a bs retail stuff with angry customers, well that would be very bad. But, even not having to work a huge amount of hours, I get home, and I try to work on the projects where I’ve promised things to other people. Sometimes I have to take a nap, and that’s even a privilege. But yeah, I’m tired, sometimes I don’t get good sleep, it happens. Before I know it it’s time to make dinner, time to go to bed, time to do it again. You hear this from countless people who work 9-5. Is this really life? Never actually working on yourself, always having to spend that energy elsewhere? Shirking your own happiness for money, because of survival? No one should have to do that, yet we all do. There are clear penalties to not participating. Poor and homeless people are actively punished. How many Americans are one medical emergency away from getting into this trouble? Point of all this being, we are used to putting ourselves last. Discouraged from even having the time to think about what we need as people. I believe this keeps us less effective and less mentally/physically healthy. This is a byproduct of profit being put over lives, and I would say it happens most to the lower class. Wealthy people can get away with exploiting poor people, because they need the money. Wealthy people romanticize these workers and jobs. The workers want and need the pay, they do not want to work grueling hours. They typically have little power in this relationship though. High capital earners usually do not do the right thing. Landlords do not usually do the right thing. These people are in these positions for easy money, not to be nice (gotta be some exceptions of nice rich people sure sure sure). I’m aware how cynical this comes off but I can’t help it after learning about this topic from multiple angles. I don’t have a good end to this but I’ll likely have more to write about this in the future. I understand this way of life to be broken, and so many people around me don’t, it’s frustrating, and I need to be able to prove why instead of just being like oh this sucks and having them think I’m lazy. People can think that, idc, I know I’m not, eh. But there are reaasssons there are reasons I’m dissatisfied, and believe it could be so much better. And I know other countries are worse cool awesome, it can be better. I don’t have all those answers, but the more I write the more they form, sorta. But I’m a toilet cleaner why would I have anything intelligent to say on this lol, I’m supposed to take what I can get, and I do. I think my opinion also matters though. At least I’ve had time to form this opinion, I could have easily not.

[stories-me]

Potential Character for Mrs. Kelsey and Tumblr 1/10/2024:

Andy Dwyer, Loveable Idiot:

What he’s from: Parks and Recreation.

Overview:

Chris Pratt (the guy who played Andy on “Parks and Recreation”) summarized Andy Dwyer as “dim-witted and guileless and a real idiot, but lovable.” At the start of the series, Andy Dwyer is dating Ann Perkins. Ann matured faster than Andy did; while Ann entered into a career in nursing, Andy was lazy and unmotivated. After being dumped by Ann, Andy begins living in the pit adjacent to Ann’s house.

Andy remained unemployed after school but was the lead singer and guitarist for his rock band, which underwent numerous name changes, but was usually called “MouseRat”.

Andy later gets work shining shoes at city hall, where he becomes friends with April Ludgate, whom he later marries after one month of dating. Though absentminded and possessing an extremely short attention span, Andy is shown to have a savant-like memory. For instance, he received the highest grade the police academy had ever seen on the written entrance test, has an uncanny ability to remember movies word for word, and is able to memorize a long list of facts for his feminist college class in the episode, “Smallest Park.” Andy also had perfect SAT scores, but mentioned it was probably due to broken Scantron machines.

Andy also possesses a wild imagination, which helps him become a children’s performer named Johnny Karate and then get his own children’s television show. Occasionally, Andy goes into character as his alter ego, covert FBI agent Burt Macklin, whenever he and April role play or to solve local mysteries.

How he’s like me:

He is technically writing his own fan fiction, in his work as “Burt Macklin” and "Johnny Karate". In addition, we are both musical, and have well-defined worlds in our heads. Also, we are both working on “adulting”.

How he’s NOT like me:

All that aside, I am much, MUCH smarter than him.

Kelsey Notes:

How you are different than Andy addition- he has a very specific and detailed fan fiction that he has narrowed down and “takes on that character in real life” to brainstorm story ideas

            Any time he needs to disguise himself for whatever shenanigans they have going on, he takes on Burt which helps him better develop his character a

            The work antics can basically become additional story ideas for Burt

Writing stories comes with creativity and using more brain power to build on their stories from your own mind

            He has a wild imagination

Andy is also very flexible, he goes with the flow well, and is up for any task that is asked of him.  This is different for you because your schedule is very set in place because you like the predictability

Andy is also always willing to work, even if it isn’t the best job that he wants (you weren’t a fan of cleaning up after the dogs for Dogs Day out)

On days where it’s hard to have a positive attitude or you can’t find the energy to do all the work, Andy is a good character to think about (recalling funny moments like the “dad you’re alive?” scene)

It can be scary sometimes to think about the hard work that comes with adulting, but if we think about how Andy ends the series he is a functioning adult with a good head on his shoulders, he has a good job and he is able to support his family (despite lacking some common sense)   

The definition of an adult with autism vs. one without is very different and varies greatly from person to person. 

You can’t compare yourself to others but you can work hard and strive to be as independent as possible.  If you try like Andy there’s no doubt you won’t succeed.