#i sit every day eating cheerios from the box and glaring out the window

[1978-combo-organ]

do my rowan astor asks made you fall to your knees in despair or are they slowly pushing you towards insanity. or is it both i hope it is

both. im sitting in a dimly lit room in an apartment banging my fist on the floor in a very cinematic way. my rowan asker bulletin board is covered in red string and random post it notes

[bettsfic]

I've just reread "Riptide". It's so good and heartbreaking ;-; are you still planning on writing that Kylux sequel or have you changed your mind? :) have a lovely evening!

i am going to be completely honest with you. i have started this fic over and over again. i don’t know what my hangup is. it’s all in my head. like. all of it. but i just can’t write it down.

here’s the most recent iteration:

The reality of the situation is this: Ben has just undergone a massive breakup with a girl named Rey. He cries all the time now. He lazes about watching action movies back to back even though the glare from the window obscures the screen. He writes lovelorn poetry sometimes on a goddamn typewriter whose keys clack loudly enough to rattle the house, and leaves the tattered shreds of it on the floor beside the trash can. A nest of potato chip bags, Oreos, empty beer cans, and tiny hot sauce bottles make a half-circle around his permanent perch on the couch. He smells. He’s annoying. He’s undisciplined. He’s crass and oblivious and pedantic and cruel and ignorant.

And Hux has been in love with him since they were fourteen years old.

Hux finds Ben’s hulking form curled onto a barstool in the kitchen, tiny iPhone in his massive paw, shoveling Honey Nut Cheerios into his mouth. He’s wearing a rumpled t-shirt and boxer shorts and his pores emanate whatever booze he consumed last night, likely enough to kill most of the population but just enough to put him to sleep.

Hux lumbers past, three-fourths still dozing, and says, “You’re not on the couch.”

This apparently does not warrant a reply. Hux fills the kettle with water, puts it on the stove, and flips the burner on. Ben did the dishes, it looks like--the counter is spotless except for the open box of cereal hiding Hux’s view of whatever Ben is doing on his phone.

It’s been a little over a month since Ben took up residence on Hux’s couch. And it’s not as if his presence is entirely unwelcome; Ben does have some redeeming qualities. He puts Hux’s dirty laundry in with his own and then folds it and puts it away. He pays for all the rented movies they watch with his mother’s emergency credit card (“She’s not going to notice three and four dollar charges,” he says, for the twelfth night in a row). He stays up late with Hux after the movie is over and they talk about it and whatever else until he has one too many beers and starts crying about Rey again, and Hux puts his grandmother’s afghan over him and goes to bed. Some nights after dinner, they sit on the porch and watch the fireflies bumble past while the sun sets, not saying anything at all. Ben cooks decently healthy meals compared to Hux’s norm of take-out, makes playlists for Hux on Spotify to introduce him to new music, and asks questions about, or happily listens to, Hux rant about his job. Ben is the only person alive that Hux knows--with every atom in his pitiful body--loves him.

Ben picks up the bowl and slurps the dredges of his milk. Hux leans against the counter waiting for the kettle to boil, arms over his chest, eying him.

“You look different,” Hux says.

Ben finally looks up at him over the cereal box. “How?”

“I don’t know. Something’s different about you.” Hux reaches over and plucks the cereal box out of the way. Ben slips his phone under the table, still doing something on it with one thumb, swiping one direction and occasionally the other.

“What are you doing?” Hux asks.

“Nothing,” Ben mutters.

“You’re never on your phone. You let it die between the couch cushions most days and I have to plug it in for you.”

“It’s nothing.”

Hux lunges forward and tries to grab the phone. A wrestling match ensues where Ben falls off the barstool onto the ground, Hux manages to straddle his stomach, all four hands are on the phone (which does not have a case because Ben is a fucking savage), and there’s maybe a bit of biting extremities involved. Eventually Ben rolls Hux to his back, and they’ve made their way to some dusty corner of the kitchen where Hux can feel cobwebs in his hair, but Ben’s hips are crushed between Hux’s legs (“Stop it, stop it, just give me my fucking--” “Let me see it, I just want to--”), and Hux realizes:

This is a very bad idea.

Ben seems to come to his own realization and freezes. For one glistening moment, a slat of light shines through the kitchen window into a simulacrum of glass, dusty specs dancing between them, and Ben’s hair is falling out of its ponytail around his face, and their eyes are locked, limbs tangled, wide-eyed and raw.

Then Ben’s face clouds over (or reddens?) and he lets go of the phone.

Victory. Hux presses the unlock button (no password, the idiot) and finds--

“Tinder?” Hux asks. “You’re on Tinder now?”

Ben, settled on his haunches, grabs the phone away from Hux again, who lets him have it. “I just. I need--something. I don’t know. I can’t handle this, okay. This--this emptiness.”

Ben. Ben Organa. Benjamin Lucas Organa. Ben, whose mother forces the most up-to-date iPhones into his hands for Christmas every year, who made a Facebook in 2013 at the insistence of his family and never uses it, who refuses to read eBooks because “paper books are important, Hux,” who only buys and listens to vinyl records except when fiddling with Hux’s Spotify account, who pluralizes “Twitters.” This is the man Hux sees before him, probably swiping right on girls who claim to be laid-back, adventurous, love to travel! Just looking for some fun!! Last pic is my dog!!!

Hux is about to say something when the kettle goes from a whistle to a scream. He climbs to standing, pajamas in twisted disarray, something crumbly falling down the back of his neck, and goes to the stove to take the kettle off the burner.

Once the kettle falls silent, Hux says, “You’re not going to find anyone on there.”

He takes a coffee cup down from the cupboard. Halfway to the counter, he notices Ben hasn’t replied. When he closes the cabinet door, he sees Ben scratching the back of his neck.

“You already have a date, don’t you,” Hux says.

Ben nods. The phone is on the table. It lights up but doesn’t make a sound. Ben picks it up and checks the message.

“What are you expecting, Ben? You’re going to bring her back here to Netflix and chill on my couch?”

Ben types a reply and then says, “No, we’re just grabbing a beer.”

“But--but what if she’s a psychopath? What if she’s luring you to her apartment where some dude twice your size is waiting with an axe to murder you and take your wallet? If you get kidnapped, I’m not paying your ransom. I’d have to take out another mortgage on the house. I’d--”

“And you think I’m obsolete? Jesus, Hux, welcome to the future, where people use the most convenient and readily available technology to find sexual gratification.”

Hux’s lips purse as he puts the filter in the pour-over lid and measures out a tablespoon of coffee.

“Just because you haven’t gotten laid in a thousand years doesn’t mean I have to restrict myself to the same fate,” Ben says.

“I’m not interested in one-night stands,” Hux says. He lifts the kettle and pours the steaming water over the grounds. “I’m looking for a connection, a spark. I’m looking for…” someone better for me than you, he thinks. And he’s not sure that’s possible.

The reality of the situation is this: Benjamin Lucas Organa is a heterosexual who has been in a long-term relationship for nearly as long as Hux has known him. In this time, Hux has dated mostly men but also the occasional woman or non-gender-conforming individual. He’s been on more double dates with Ben on Rey than he cares to count, and eventually in the last few years, dwindled into just hanging out with the two of them as what he perceived to be the third wheel at first, but was in actuality something like being in the presence of a relationship so codependent it was as if Ben and Rey were just two halves of one whole person. Hux never consciously took sides between them, but seeing as how Rey ran off to Europe for a while and Ben ended up on his couch, his loyalties now lie with Ben.

He’s been in love with Ben since the beginning--this beautiful ethereal boy with an uncanny sense of whimsy, an innocent obliviousness, endless love for the most mundane of things, it’s the way he sees the world, Hux thinks, years later, like everything is art--since the three of them were freshmen in homeroom together, and Hux has put up a long-suffering struggle against the feeling, the falling, the this is love, this is love, this is love. Only in the last few years has he given up that struggle, after relationship upon failed relationship where Hux expected his partners to live up to his adoration of his best friend yet fell miles short, and it just never seemed worth it to continue pursuing such a lost cause.

So he’s resigned himself, not to getting over Ben, but getting over the idea of romantic partnership. Curbing his want, like eating less overall so you don’t need to consume as much to feel full. He doesn’t need Ben’s heart, he thinks. He should be grateful enough to have him in his life at all, in any form that takes.

“Looking for what?” Ben asks. His thumb is poised over his phone, paused. Hux can see the glaring white smile of a blonde girl wearing a baseball cap and holding a pomeranian. Left? Right? Outside of Rey, Hux realizes he has no idea what Ben likes.

“I wish I knew.”

[mrsbarnesomg]

Distraction (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

 Request:  HI HUMAN ! Can i have a bucky request where the reader is buckys girlfriend and he's been on a mission for the past couple weeks and it's finally the day he's coming home and so she's pestering all the Avengers repeating herself and bouncing up and down going, "how about now? how about now? how about now?" and she's easily distracted so they keep getting annoyed and just handing her random objects like lucky charms or something silly? and it's just general fluff and humor? Thank you so much!!

Words: 2,794

Warnings: None

To say you were annoying was an understatement.

It’s not like you were a bother, or a pain to the other Avengers, you were annoying in a cute way. At least that’s what they decided once the pestering and nagging and bouncing had stopped. You were one of the younger Avengers and your personality showed it. You were bubbly, energetic, kind, fast, and most certainly saw the good in just about everyone.

Perhaps that’s why you ended up with Bucky Barnes, you didn’t care about what he did in his tragically sad past and you certainly brought a sense of positivity to his life. He had changed a lot over his time spent at the Avengers tower with the rest of the team; in a good way of course. You fell for his smile, it was near the beginning of his time at the tower when you saw him smiling with Steve and you caught a glimpse of the breathtaking smile.

From then on you were a nervous mess around him, you fell unusually quiet whenever he was in the same room and often because a stumbling mess of words that never made sense. You choked on your smoothie one morning when he scared you in the kitchen. It had only been you, him and Bruce home that morning as everyone else was on missions, running errands or out of town.

You were casually sipping your smoothie in the dark kitchen when he came in and turned on the light, you jumped and a large mouthful of smoothie got caught in your throat. This led to you dropping your drink, hitting your hip on the counter, and you were coughing while holding your hip while a chunk of your drink slid down your chest and stained your white shirt. It was embarrassing but once it was over you two started laughing together for what seemed like forever in the early hours of the morning.

Two weeks later you went on your first date together and you had been together ever since.

However during those years together, every time Bucky went on a mission longer than a weekend, you drove everyone crazy. You would pester and talk and prank and become so overly dramatic. Everyone knew you did it as a distraction, a way for time to go by quicker until you saw him again. You liked it better when he was not on some dangerous mission, you worried more than usual while he was away. What if HYDRA found him? What if he got hurt? What if he got kidnapped? What if he died?

The aching feeling in your chest while he was away felt like you were suffocating. So many things could happen, one thing could go wrong and he would be gone. The stress caused painful headaches and anxiety.

But today was not a stressful day, it was not a sad day or a painful day, it was a happy day. Bucky was coming home from a two week long mission and you couldn’t be more excited. Considering the mission was only supposed to take two days, this day was even more exciting.

For the rest of the Avengers, today was a long day. Today was the day that you would pester to no extent, and it all started at precisely 5:00am. 

“Wake up! Wake up! C’mon, wake up!” Sam cringed and covered his face with his pillow more, pressing it against his face to try to make the noise stop. His body bounced lightly as you stood on his bed jumping up and down. You were not a morning person, that was one thing you and Sam bonded most over; sleep.

So for you to be up before the sun had risen, and even before Steve went out for a run, was most certainly a surprise.

Sam groaned into his pillow, he was glad his face was being covered or else the bright overhead light of his room would certainly cause pain to his sleep filled eyes. The sun hadn’t even risen but yet you had opened all the curtains to his windows. 

“Sam! Sammy! Sams! Samother! Samillion! Sam, bam, dam, tam, pam, wam-” “What do you want, woman?!” Sam shouted into his pillow but it was muffled enough to not wake anyone else near Sam’s room. 

“Let’s go to breakfast! We could go to Panera, Starbucks, Ben’s, Harold’s Coffee, Strange Donuts-no! Let’s go to Steak and Shake! Wait no, we should go there for lunch, yeah lunch is better! Where do you wanna go? I don’t know where I wanna go - but oh my god, we could go to Denny's-” 

“No.”

“No? Okay well there’s always Russ and Daughters, I’ve never been there, I wonder if it’s good, do you think it’s good? Oh what about Kitchenette, I went there with Clint last week it was good-” 

“Time.” 

“Huh?”

“What’s the time?” 

“5:00am, bright and ear-”

“Get out.” 

“No need to be hasty-”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Only coffee! You want some, you need some, you’re grumpy-”

“How much coffee have you had?”

“Oh, only three cups-”

“Three cups?”

“I know, I need more-”

“It’s only five, how long have you been up?!”

“Mm, not for sure, I needed the energy-”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Oh I know! Let’s go to Big Daddy’s!” You giggled, you were still jumping on his bed trying to get him out of bed but also the caffeine that pumped through your veins caused you not to stop moving.

“Get out!” He grabbed one of the pillows he was using and tossed it in the direction of your voice. You only laughed, but he could hear it hit you. You jumped off his bed and landed with a thump before he could hear his door crack open.

“So no Big Daddy’s?”

“Out! I said out!” He threw another pillow and you giggled before slamming his door shut just in time as the pillow connected with where you previously were.

At 7:00am you scared the hell out of Clint.

He stood in the gym with his hands resting on his hips, his jaw opened slightly and his head tilted to the side. You were jumping, prancing, running, bouncing, waving your arms and chanting weird sayings that he was certain came from last night’s binge of Supernatural. 

“C’mon Clint, let’s go! Let’s do this! I got coffee and I’m ready to move my body!” You bounced from one foot to the other, flicking your wrists and occasionally sticking your butt out. “Let’s go, c’mon! Run, squat, jump, shoot, suffocate, let’s go!”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m moving my body.” You bent down and touched your toes, before springing upwards a crossing your arms over your body quickly.

“No. Just stop. Don’t even. I can’t.”

“Why, Clint? It’s go time, I have to stretch, you have to stretch, c’mon Clint let’s stretch! Let’s move our bodies!” You stuck your hands in the air as high as they could go and pointed your hands out like a ostrich's face while you did a low lunge with one of your legs.

“Are you...are you being possessed?”

“I’m moving my body.” You whispered it softly, but by the weird position you were doing and your wide eyes, it sounded creepy as all hell.

At 9am you were given food to stop talking.

“And then I was like, girl, and she was like, girl, and I was like, girl, and then she was like, girl. So I said, girl.” You were sitting on the kitchen island, your arms were pressed against the counter behind you as you leaned back slightly. Your legs swung in a swift motion as you talked quickly to Steve. 

Steve walked passed you and without a word set a box of Lucky Charms in your lap. You immediately stopped talking and grabbed the box of Lucky Charms, tearing it open and digging your hand through the halfway full box.

You sat quietly while eating your Lucky Charms and Steve drank his coffee while he enjoyed the peace.

Clint stood next to Steve, glaring at you as you dug through the box and only ate the marshmallows. “She’s just gonna eat all the marshmallows, Steve!”

“I know.” Steve took another large gulp of his much needed coffee.

“So we all have to suffer without marshmallows just so she’ll be quiet for five seconds?” Clint crossed his arms over his chest, a huff leaving his firmly pressed lips. “Without the marshmallows they’re basically Cheerios.”

“She’ll be busy for at least twenty minutes, are you really complaining?” Steve looked at Clint from the side, and Clint opened his mouth to speak before slamming it shut and rolling his eyes.  

At noon you danced with Scott in the living room.

“He says son can you play me a memory, I’m not really sure how it goes!” You sung at the top of your lungs while standing on top of the couch, you used a Wii remote as a microphone.

“But it’s sad and complete and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man’s clothes!” Scott sang his part while standing on the other couch. Piano Man blasted throughout the living room and could be heard throughout all of the living quarters.

Three minutes passed and you were singing a completely different genre of song.

“I just wanna have fun tonight!” You were now bouncing around the living room with Scott bouncing right there with you.

“Pull me under the flashing lights!” Scott half sang and half shouted, bouncing on one leg to the other.

“Let me blow up this house tonight!” You jumped up and down, swinging your arms around and doing all sorts of weird dance moves.

“We go hard or we go home! We gon do this all night long!! We get freaky if you want! Na, na, na!” Scott lifted a leg and swung it around in a circle.

“We go hard or we go home! We gon do this all night long! We get freaky if you want!” You spun around it circles and waved your arms around, making weird motions with your hands.

“Bitch I’m Madonna!” The two of you froze and turned to look at each other from across the room, you both pointed one finger at the other and shouted it as loud as you could before unfreezing and getting back to dancing.

At 3:00pm Sam pranked you which led to a chain reaction of accidently pranking other Avengers in the process.

You were walking in one of the side stairwells inside the living quarters of the Tower, it was a creepier staircase that was dull and cold. Tony didn’t even know it existed until three months ago when he blew a hole through one of the walls and revealed the stairwell.

When you caught sight of something moving in a dark corner by the door you were needing to exit out of. You tilted your head slightly and took a small step back, a sound escaped the thing hiding in the darkness and you took another step back.

All of a sudden the thing in the corner ran out and slithered passed you legs so it could hide under the stairs. A scream pierced through the air you realized it was a possum. You stumbled into the door and hit your head when Scott swung the door open to see what the commotion was all about.

Scott jumped backwards and nearly fell down the stairs going to the floor below them, his eyes were focussed something behind you. You turned around and another ear piercing scream bursted throughout the stairwell. A huge airblown snowman had started to grow behind you, you recognized it from last year’s Christmas decorations.

Tony’s voice came from up the stairwell as he looked down at the growing snowman that looked far more scary in the dimly lit stairwell than it was supposed to look.

“Hey! I was looking for that!”

The snowman’s head got caught on one of the light fixtures and the snowman’s head exploded. Glitter erupted from the blown off head and the rest of his body started to deflate back into the staircase going up. Scott jumped and turned around suddenly, trying to get out of the stairwell when his face connected with the door as Sam flung it open.

Sam bent down slightly, and rose his arms above his head.

“That’s what you get!” Sam laughed maniacally. “5:00am my ass!”

A piece of the snowman’s head flew down from the ceiling and  slapped Sam across the face. You and Scott were mainly affected by the glitter explosion, Tony was barely affected and Sam got a few sparkles in his hair. 

At 6:00pm you grew tired.

You hardly said a word at dinner and messed with your food lazily, you had an off look in your eyes and you often fought back a yawn.  You kept looking towards the doorway and hoped that Bucky would be home soon. All energy was gone from your now exhausted body.

You closed your eyes for a moment too long and by the time dinner was over you were stumbling down the hallways trying to keep yourself awake.

It was 8:00pm before Bucky came home.

Tony led him down one of the hallways near the gym, it was a hallway that had rooms mostly filled with gadgets of Tony’s and the laundry room. Bucky had gotten home five minutes ago and instead of you greeting him at the door; it was Tony.

Tony hardly said a word and only motioned for Bucky to follow him. Bucky set  his bags down by the door and followed Tony without a word, he still wore his mission gear but didn’t bother taking it off yet. He knew Tony was taking him to you and you were more important to him than getting comfortable.

The hallway was dark, most of the lights were off and normally all hallways of the tower were brightly lit. Bucky caught sight of someone laying on the floor of the dark hallway and seemed taken aback when he realized it was you.

“She’s not dead.” Tony stopped walking and lifted an arm in the direction of where you laid; sleeping.

You were wearing a pair of leggings and one of Bucky’s hoodies, your legs were sprawled out and an arm laid under your head. Bucky smiled at the sight of you, you looked so innocent and Bucky couldn't wait to hold you close to him during the night. He missed the feeling of you cuddling him closely, he missed feeling your heartbeat and he missed having you near.

“How-” Bucky took a step towards you, turning back to look at Tony.

“I don’t know. It took me forever to find her, though. She’s been falling asleep in weird places for the past week.” Tony shrugged his shoulders.

“What do you mean by weird?” Bucky tilted an eyebrow as he lifted you up gently into his chest, you shuffled around in his arms a little before hiding your face in his shoulder.

“Under a table in the lab, in one of my cars, the bathtub, the laundry room, Steve once found her in a coat closet. I’m pretty sure she never fell asleep last night either.”

“How come?” Bucky looked down at your sleeping face. He noticed the bags under your eyes and he knew if you opened your eyes how tired they must look.

“Well someone was doing laundry at 3:00am - speaking of the demonic hour, Clint thinks she might be possessed.” Tony started to head back down the hallway and Bucky followed with you. “Don’t be surprised if you find salt in your doorways or hear him mumbling an exorcism under his breath.”

“I don’t even want to know.” Bucky rolled his eyes. A moment of silence passed and before Tony could stalk off to his lab for the night, Bucky asked him one last question.

“Why has she been sleeping in weird places?” Bucky talked quietly, not wanting to wake you up. Tony stopped walking and looked down at you in Bucky’s arms.

“For a distraction.” Tony looked back up at Bucky. “Take your girlfriend to bed so I won’t find her on top of the fridge tomorrow.”

Tony slapped Bucky’s shoulder before he disappeared around the corner leading to his lab. Bucky looked down at you and sighed, pressing a kiss to your forehead and making his way towards the elevators with you still curled up in his arms.

By 9:00pm you and Bucky were both asleep, you were both wrapped tightly in each other's arms. Neither of you ever wanted to let go.