#i think a lot of how hed probs behave in relationship

[movedtodykedvonte]

your tags said to send asks or you would post spamton essays but what if i Want the essays

anyway how do you think his attitude and behavior would change once he started to develop a crush on someone? does he hide it well or is it obvious somethings up? And how does this crush behavior differ between addispam, big shot, and current spam?

The essays are more or less random ramblings. I like writing them but the brain power to do so is absurd. As per Spamton’s behavior when developing a crush I feel like no matter what he’s the most incompetent love sick guy but in an endearing way. Overall I 100% think what initially makes him attracted to you is any patience, kindness or support you’d give him. Anyway my ideas under the cut

Addison Spamton

Addisons are a materialistic species at heart and so I feel his courtship starts by business favors. You’d notice a change when more off brand versions of your favorite stuff appear in his shop.

Or when he cuts his already dirt cheap prices even lower for you. He insists it just a perk for always supporting him despite being the perpetually unluckiest addison

He’d be pretty vague and shy about admitting anything. His business ventures rarely work out for him and he does not wanna risk the same when it comes to romantic ones

Still Addispam would go out of his way to hang around you, asking you for advice on flyers, products or lingering in low sale areas just to encounter you. 

If your a fellow ad I bet he’d go out of his way to only shop at your store

He thinks he’s slick and that you don’t notice how he seemingly values your opinion more than anyone's or how he constantly invades your space when practicing pitches or the thinly veiled flirts in the “drafts” of emails he plans to send out

He’s emotionally ooey gooey and like a love sick puppy and if you called him out he’d deny it all and his shop would be closed for a few days to emotionally recover

He either confesses through an email just so he doesn’t lose any courage in person or he sputters something incomprehensible out that you have to piece together as a confession. 

That or you’d have to make a deal to date him cause there’s no way I believe he’d not try and pitch himself to you like some black friday valentine sales

Big Shot Spamton

This guy may be successful now but he still sucks at romance and flirting.

He’s a lot more open about liking you but is still lacks that social confidence that would allow him to be suave.

I bet he asked the phone for advice trying to court you

If you knew him before bigshotification, he’d buy you a lot of everything he knows you like. He insists its just to repay all the years you supported and helped him before but it’s def a weird courtship thing

If he didn’t know you before he’d listen to whatever you remotely mention liking and buy you it in bulk. It’s anonymous in this case but it’s still obvious because he like hounds you if you liked the gift your secret admirer got you

He’s not trying to buy your affection but everyone around him seems to like him better when he splurges on them and he hopes it’ll make you really like him

Really shitty flirting and compliments, they just don’t make sense but he says them like they are the coolest thing. Some make you cringe but most make you giggle. Spamton thinks that means they’re working <:)

Would try to have hang outs with you that are just lavish dates. Drags you around by the hand, just to not lose you but it’s def an excuse to hold your hand

For whatever reason he considers bringing you on business meetings as dates/hanging out. You’re really just emotional support and something to look at

He’d try and confess like you hadn’t realized he’s had the fattest crush on you but make sure you have room to say no without worrying he’d stop pampering you.

The moment you even show any sort of reciprocation he starts showing you off like one of his new cungadero model

Current Spamton

I don’t think he’d truly hide it all at this point but he’s very vague on if it’s exactly a crush on you or just trying to butter you up for a con. Like if you ask he’ll just flirt then try to sell you trash

He insists on giving you minitons as like little helpers as like a business trade for your help/company. However, they just cling to you or swarm around you like let annoying and cuter gnats

He’s less sleazy towards you, he tries to scam you still but he gives you hints so you can back out, you let yourself get conned just for the banter

Talks about how he could treat you if he was a big shot still and all the places/things he’d show you. If you insist you could take him out he just laughs and says he’s not that easy

You are a hundred percent sure you see more stray pipis the closer to your home despite Spamton never agreeing to come to your home. Maybe you catch light reflecting off something pink and yellow before disappearing behind a corner. It’s cute in a stalkerish way

I feel like he has no shame now and outright says he finds you nice or cute or attractive but he never goes farther than a weird compliment or dirty joke.

He also keeps you way past the time you try to leave the trash zone. Weird pitches where he doesn’t even know what he’s selling to you. Just wants you to stay a little longer

He’s really scared of confirming anything cause he’s scared if his intentions are clear you’ll be disgusted and stop hanging out and he’s too attention starved to lose that

Despite all his boldness with hitting on you, you’d have to ask him... multiple times... and bribe him... and possibly drag him into your house. 

He wouldn’t make it easy but he’s grateful he didn’t have to humiliate himself trying to ask you in a sweet none glitched way.

Surprisingly I don’t think he’d be that bad or hopeless but he acts like the minitons don’t try to kiss you every time he summons them. Any version.