#i think after the first one or two arcs there might be an incident tm to make things more tense and up the stakes

[kirnet]

i still have to tighten everything up but i think i have a fun new setting for a dnd campaign :D it’ll be set in a big magical floating city that is situated in an overlap of a lot of different planes, and where portals to these planes naturally open up. Adventurers are hired to go into these portals and retrieve rare materials or artifacts for magical components and work either as freelance parties or work under companies. And of course there’s gonna be a lot of infighting of different company factions and black markets and sky pirates bc of course i want sky pirates. Also has the benefit of keeping one set location to focus on while still allowing me to send players to cool new locations!

[acerace]

...you have opened my eyes to a vast universe of VintageBeef lore that I was unaware of. I knew about the New Hermit Order, of course, and the UHC invention, and I've watched a few of his CTM things but -- I will take all the info and lore you feel like giving out because Beef is amazing and my knowledge is so small.

Vintagebeef my beloved <3

So the thing is, right, until about 2016 I only watched two (2) youtubers- Vintagebeef for Minecraft and aDrive for Pokemon (and funnily enough both of them are named Dan irl). So I've watched most of Beef's videos over the years and have a general knowledge of most of his stuff, except because it's been like a decade I don't remember where most of the lore comes from XD

The thing with him is that he doesn't do Lore tm the way other mcyters often do lore- he doesn't have an extensive RP series to draw from like Grian, doesn't have a solo world with steadily increasing amounts of lore like Etho or Zisteau, and while he's played on SMPs and been involved in storylines before it's not really the focus of his episodes unlike with Evo or Legacy or Empires

So where does that leave us?

IRL, Beef always has multiple series running at the same time. Often he's playing on an smp while doing a singleplayer, often modded, series as well as a CTM or modpack with a group of friends. For example, right now he's playing on Hermitcraft, doing weekly Pixelmon and Building a Zoo episodes, and a CTM map with Slip. And to me, this translates to one thing: Beef is an adventurer. He travels frequently- he explores a world and when he decides he's done, he leaves for the next one. That's the basis of my personal interpretation of his series and his character for my writing.

Ok so reading this back, this got extremely long and didn't explain much in the way of lore, somehow? If anyone has any additions to add please do so, I am very definitely leaving out a lot and would love to see what other lore people remember and are using for Beef! I didn’t include the Hermitcraft stuff since my memory of season 4 is blurry (his base was themed after the Martian, that much I know, and he and Iskall were buddies :D) and most of the s5 NHO lore is best watched from Bdub’s perspective from what I remember, and the only s6 stuff is a single line in Hermitgang and then the Area 77 arc with its possibility of an NHO reunion which we did not get rip. And s7 of course had the cloning machine and also the Podzol Party as the main lore. So all the original rambling is still below the cut though it is very long, and I'm gonna bullet point the main stuff here instead:

Actual canonical things:

Invented UHC and was the only survivor of the first ever uhc (Mindcrack UHC s1)

Married to an ender dragon (one of the UHCs I think), later father to a different dragon (Mindcrack season 3? I think?)

Might not have legs if you choose to take that joke as canon (Mindcrack s2)

Was a wizard (RAD)

is a zookeeper (Building a Zoo) 

Had a wife and kids (Sims in Minecraft)

Part of the Trial of the B Team court case (Mindcrack)

NHO founder, founder of the Podzol Party (Hermitcraft)

Created a cloning machine that sort of works (Hermitcraft)

Played the Forest which is I believe the first time he and Keralis played together (look up the trigger warnings for this one, it's a horror game)

Was the creator/owner of Sourceblock SMP (featuring some familiar faces if you know Legacy, Empires, or MCC) and there is literal magic from a mysterious sourceblock of water that teleports people and summons mobs and probably more stuff that I haven't seen yet since I'm still watching it myself

Things you can infer:

Good with animals (Life in the Woods, Pixelmon, Ark)

Is a car nerd (irl and all of the car games he's played)

Is a highly experienced adventurer who has traveled through dozens of worlds both vanilla and modded, across multiple dimensions (Twilight Forest, the Aether, the Betweenlands, Limbo), completed dozens of monuments, fought in blood sports, survived apocalypse after apocalypse, tamed dinosaurs, and played a lot of prop hunt and golf with your friends

If you're looking for what to watch for lore purposes, I'd say the Mindcrack UHCs and Team Canada's RAD series are pretty good, definitely Sourceblock and HC s5, plus the Diversity CTM maps and Ruins of the Mindcrackers maybe? And Mindcrack Prank Wars for the chaos and the origin of Team Canada. And if you can handle horror than the Forest is fun and if you don't do horror you can watch the Pojkband play golf or prop hunt they're hilarious I love them sm I want a Pojkband reunion So Bad 

Beef's first series was a singleplayer series in beta 1.4_01 though he had played the game extensively before that, and was a big fan of Guude, having watched his own Minecraft videos. The series was functionally a hardcore one where if he died Beef would delete the world and start again! I haven't actually Watched this series so idk if he died or how often lmao. When Guude made Mindcrack, which was btw one of the very first Minecraft SMPs, he also hosted a competition for people to join, and Beef submitted a video (which is still viewable on his channel I believe!) and won, and was added to Mindcrack in season 2 :D (fun fact, Guude said that even if Beef hadn’t won he would have added him anyway) 

Two running jokes emerged from Mindcrack- pulling a Vintagebeef and Beef doesn't have legs. The first is a reference to Beef dying of fall damage (I believe the exact instance was him trying to jump into his swimming pool and failing spectacularly) and after the incident, every time someone died of fall damage they were pulling a Vintagebeef. The second joke comes from Guude, who joked that the reason Beef wasn't going to a convention was because he didn't have legs, and then he pranked Beef's base by building a giant pair of legs at the entrance to his castle so you had to walk between them to get into the base. This joke has long since died and both Beef and Guude feel pretty bad about it iirc because there were people who genuinely thought Beef was disabled and were emailing him supportive messages and stuff oops. So if you go looking on the Salad or find old Mindcrack fics, you might see references to Beef having prosthetic legs!

Mindcrack also brought about the creation of several Player groups- Team Nancy Drew, Team Canada, and GOB to name a few relevant to Beef. Team Nancy Drew consists of Beef, Pauseunpause, Guude, and Baj, who formed to investigate a prank on one of the members but I forget who. They're named Nancy Drew after the detective! Team Canada also formed in retaliation to pranks, with it consisting of Beef, Etho, and Pause, the three Canadian members on the server (not including Adlington who moved to Canada but never joined the group). There was also a Team America who pranked them with American flags everywhere. GOB is Guude, OMGChad, and Beef, who played stuff like the Ragecraft, Pantheon, and Monstrosity ctms together but that's way down the line lol

Team Nancy Drew is also notable for inventing UHC. It was Beef's brainchild but it was the four of them who first played it! The first UHC had the four of them working to kill the dragon with no natural regen, with everyone dying but Beef, who "won" the UHC. The second uhc was still dragon focused and iirc is where Beef married the dragon? Memories are hazy but they do kill the dragon in this one I think. UHC was then revamped as a pvp event and became a regular Mindcrack game every few months, featuring most of the Mindcrackers and several special guests, including Dinnerbone, who as we know Thanos-snapped Doc's arm out of existence as a result of Doc killing him in one of them

In one of the seasons of Mindcrack, Beef invited swedish Mindcracker and good friend Anderzel to go caving with him and invented ABBA Rules caving, where the winner takes it all. ABBA Rules is a game where each ore (and also dungeon loot like nametags) is assigned a point value and the person with the most points at the end wins and gets to keep all the stuff collected from the game.

In Mindcrack season 3?, Beef punched the ender dragon in an... awkward area, so when the dragon died and left the egg behind, Guude said Beef was the father of the egg XD I don't remember if I watched s3 so I have no idea if anything Happened with this concept but *history of the world voice* you could make lore out of this!

So Team Canada has played a Lot of CTM maps (which fun fact were pretty much invented by another Mindcrack member, Vechs, with his Super Hostile series! Super Hostile has a bunch of things called "Zistonian", which are references to another Mindcrack member Zisteau, who has a very wild singleplayer series with even wilder lore but I digress). In Ruins of the Mindcrackers, they had a running joke that Beef was Etho and Pause's mom, which is a joke we can leave in the past actually /lh. They also played all the Diversity maps, Sky Factory, Terra Restore, Uncharted Territory uhhh and a couple more ctms and adventure maps! Each map kinda has its own story so in Diversity 3 for example they were trapped in a simulation? I think? Team Canada also recently played the Roguelike Adventures and Dungeons modpack, aka RAD, in which Beef was a wizard with a magic staff that could do anything from summon lightning to control hostile mobs.

Sourceblock SMP is a vanilla survival 1.14 series that ran for one season and the series starts with each of the Players being drawn to a strange sparkling water source that, once they touch it, brings them to the Sourceblock world. It also summons a giant zombie at one point. There's probably more lore for this series but like I said I haven't watched it all the way through yet 

He has a Patreon server called VintageCraft and has done a series or two on there as well, and played a few UHCs with them, so lore that how you will! 

Beef also played a few popular mods, notably Pixelmon, Life in the Woods, and Feed the Beast, with LitW being singleplayer and the other multiplayer. He's also recently played the Zoo and Wild Animals mod a lot. He did a short series with the Minecraft Comes Alive mod where he married one of the villagers and had two children, so that's canon now :D he’s played a Lot of Pixelmon starting when the mod first came out iirc (he chose Turtwig in his first series and built a Grass gym, then made a Normal gym in another series in uhh 2016) and he still plays to this day. Quite a few Hermits played on his Pixelmon servers with him, like Wels, Etho, Iskall, Stress, Slip, Zueljin, and also Guude and Phedran (a Mindcrack adjacent player and creator of the LitW modpack) and a few Mindcrackers on the older servers 

Mindcrack and friends played a lot of other games too- 7 Days to Die, Ark Survival Evolved, Unturned, to name a few, so you can pull a lot of lore out of these as well. Speaking of friends and non-Minecraft games, Beef teamed up with Pause, Keralis, and Slip (a former Hermit) to play the horror game the Forest, which saw them stuck on an island trying to survive against terrifying mutated human... things. They played it a few times as the game updated but as afaik it's the first time Beef played with Keralis and possibly Slip and since the game starts with the Player's airplane crashing, that could totally be how Beef first met them in-universe 

I... think? that’s everything I mentioned in the tags? There is probably way more stuff I’ve forgotten that stems from inside jokes and things that happen within each series, but I hope that was a) helpful and b) at least somewhat comprehensible lmao 

[class1aneedstherapy]

Alright hear me out,

We don’t really know how this arc will end, we don’t know what the hella vague “end of all heroes” is. And we have no idea what will happen when Shigaraki wakes up. But since I’m a fool^tm with too many ideas I need to share an a theory for an upcoming arc that many of us have theorized about for a while. 

A revolt against the Hero Public Safety Commission

Now theres a couple that might be coming after this arc, such as a jailbreak one, or even a more fluff centric arc, but I really think that a revolt is in the making directly after this arc. 

Heres a short summary of the build up to this arc that I think has been in the making. The Hero Commission was never set up as a positive force in the manga, their first appearance being an unknown organization that works closely with the police. The next being Mera and the provisional licensing course, which almost made them seem incompetent. 

But the next time we see them they are actually painted as a direct antagonist, not one as prevalent as Gentle in that arc, but they opposed the culture festival and therefore our kids happiness.

It’s strange huh? That this government agency who has had little to no interaction with the heroes before this point and was assumed to be benevolent (because government agencies are always benevolent) be portrayed so at odds with what Nezu is doing with UA.

And then we meet Hawks. And Hawks changed the game. During the pro-hero arc we see some of his interactions with his handlers and pieces start falling into place that maybe the Hero Commission is untrustworthy. The way Hawks worded “Despite knowing I can’t possibly refuse,” all the way back in chapter 192 really stuck with some fans, including myself. The very limited information we got of Hawks’ backstory and his presumed training by the commission from a young age was concerning to say the least. And the more we learn about his story as the manga continues just paints a darker picture. 

The next mark on their record happens to be fairly recent, but just as important for where I think the story will go from here. The reveal of Kurogiri’s real identity came as a shock to many of us and the way that both Mic and Aizawa responded was extremely heart-wrenching. We learned that Detective Tsukauchi and Gran Torino are working under the commission to discover the details behind the Nomu. BNHA isn’t the best when it comes to addressing trauma in its characters but Gran Torino explicitly apologized for “reopening an old wound” for the two. And a government agency leveraging the emotional bond that you formed with a loved one to get information out of their corpse is more than a little traumatic. Not to mention their next plan was to bring in Shirikumo’s family, which Aizawa then states would be awful for them to learn. 

Immediately after this incident we get really the first time someone implies that the Hero Commission might have ulterior motives, from Aizawa when discussing what happened with Mic. Then again in 242, Aizawa comes off far more blatant in his distrust of them. 

It’s very telling that Aizawa is often the one to point out concerning information about the Commission.

I feel like Hawks’ upbringing, the storyline going on with Shirikumo, Aizawa and Mic and Eri’s powers reawakening will all be tied together in an arc the exposes the corruption and iffy practices in the Hero Commission. The repeated parallels between children that are being used for other’s gain is very important in this instance.

While I hate to propose that Eri might once again be used for her quirk by the commission, it does seem like something that they, and Horikoshi might write, and heres how I see it playing out.

After a victory by the villains in the War Arc the Commission gets desperate, they know the best way to uncover secrets about Shigaraki is to speak with Kurogiri, or Shirikumo again and they attempt to get Eri to help them do that. Aizawa understand that this is terrible and tries to get them to back off but is convinced, (probably through not too subtle threats at his job and hero license) to let them.

Now Aizawa in Vigilantes always skirted the line between heroism and vigilante activity, by associating with them and even some criminals. Dredging up this past in the main series could give focus to a much loved charcter and show how truly broken the system can be at times. Depending on if Hawks gets out of this arc alive but injured this could make another reason that the Commission would take interest in Eri or even a student like Shinsou. They need another pawn to replace Hawks.

I’d like to hope that this is a successful arc and maybe the end of all heroes means a different kind of licensing and ranking system but maybe that’s too optimistic. The addressing of the trauma that the students are sure to have gone through after the War needs to happen though. And if not I’ll write it my fucking self.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E26 (July 17, 2018)

Tonight’s guests: Matt Mercer, Ashly Burch, and Taliesin Jaffe. Heck, I’m nervous for all three of them.

Announcements: Critical Role will be at the San Diego Comic Con on 7/21 in 6BCF at 6:30pm. The panel will be aired next Tuesday during the TM time slot. They’ll also be at NYCC in October!

CR Stats! Episode 26 had 14 natural 20s, the most of the new campaign. This was in no small part due to Ashly borrowing Tal’s dice because she doesn’t own her own dice bag. There’s so much dice karma happening in that sentence I don’t even know how to handle it. It ties with episodes 55, 61, and 100. Keg has the most natural 20s of any single-episode guesting with 4. Molly got the M9′s 100th kill. He leads the party with 21 kills in all. “Hot murder streak.”

We’ve seen seven of Molly’s cards so far: the silver dragon, anvil, serpent, eye, moon, shadow, and the chariot. Tal says the serpent may be the same as the dragon, but he’ll check.

This was Ashly’s first time guesting on the show proper--previously she’d only been on oneshots. Biggest difference? “There were less people dying on the oneshots!”

Matt and Brian both take a moment to applaud Ashly’s characterization and sticking to the true roleplaying of her character over any min-maxing of the dice she might have done otherwise. Tal says the math would have come out either way as it was. It’s the first time she’s ever done something like that in a D&D game.

Matt always prefers roleplaying over what’s strategically optimal, especially since the moments where you falter and fail often lead to the true “hero” arc for your character. “It was very wild and unique to watch the cocksure exterior crumble.”

Everyone’s been kind to Ashly directly since The Incident. It’s only whispers she’d heard indirectly.

Tal already hadn’t slept the night before; he didn’t that night either, just curled up and thought until dawn. He realized in panic that he’d never come up with a backup character as Matt had asked months ago; he has rolled a new one since then, but he spent most of the weekend coping with making a new character in three days after spending six months on Molly. Bless.

Brian woke Ashley up during the live show when he heard Taliesin say “my Blood Maledict’s going to kill me” so that they could watch the rest together. He realized that Matt was hesitating a lot more than usual as things went on, that Matt seemed to be hinting more and more strongly that the impending encounter was about to go very badly for the M9.

Matt designed the Iron Shepherds to be a very dangerous, powerful group when they are all together (as they were that night). He’d planned for several options: the M9 following and never catching up, waiting to gather intel until Shady Creek, catching up but only observing from a distance, and for the actual battle itself. He tried to give them clues about how dangerous they would actually be: that there were more than five enemies, that Ashly’s character knew how dangerous they were, that they were prepared and tough-looking. However, he never wants to be too heavy-handed in guiding the players’ hands. His intent with the battle was to show some surprises and that the M9 didn’t know what they were dealing with, and had hoped that the M9 would take the hint and back out sooner than they did.

Brian could tell that Matt was very visibly affected as the fight went on, which Matt points out was in part due to how late it was. He allowed the battle to occur because he didn’t plan for it to be a long one (the Iron Shepherds were going to speed away...until the M9 dropped the tree across the road). Then he had no idea what was going to happen during the battle. He adds that DMs sometimes end up with encounters harder than they’d plan, and it was nervewracking because as much as he cares for these characters, he also has a responsibility to be true to the strength of the enemies and the realities of the dice. There were a lot of ways the fight could have still gone, but didn’t (parlay, discussion, more ambushing, better dice rolls).

If Keg hadn’t stepped up and used her relationship specifically with Lorenzo to halt the battle, it would have gotten way, way worse for the M9, including the kidnapping of more of the M9 to be sold.

Lorenzo has a specific vanity and enjoyment of power over other people, and Keg’s intervention played straight into that. It’s the only reason that encounter didn’t go more poorly.

Some of the Iron Shepherds’ background information was known by Keg; some was deliberate misleading on the part of the Shepherds to keep Keg in the dark.

Keg wasn’t happy about Caleb’s charming, but Keg knew there was no way she could take on the Shepherds on her own. She has a facade of being cocksure and proud but is truly a coward, and knew that taking them on alone would kill her. The charming was a “necessary evil.”

Taliesin knew the risks of the Maledict but planned to give Lorenzo disadvantage, hopefully dodge the next two attacks, and escape as soon as Lorenzo engaged with Beau. Then the dice came up with the rest of his HP and that was that.

Matt did in fact roll the Golden Snitch for the bad guys this game. Brian: “Let’s not give him the most powerful die in the game next time.” Tal: “Oh, it’s going to go mysteriously missing any day now.”

Lorenzo was not visibly afraid at any point during this fight. Matt declines to elaborate further.

GIF of the Week! u/rndmanswrs4rndmqstns from Reddit, for a gif of the battle map from last episode superimposed with a tragic news ticker footage of the slaughter.

Molly’s final words were an easy choice. “He’s not complicated in that direction, and his feelings on violence and death are easy.” Tal says it didn’t fully hit him until hours later. Still, Molly never really felt ownership of his own self; it all still felt borrowed. He knew death would come eventually and probably earlier rather than later. “As ways to go existed, I think that was a very Molly way to go.”

Matt thinks these reminders of mortality are important...depending on the type of story you’re trying to tell. Their game needs the stakes of having the risk of death, although that’s not what would be fun for every game and should not always be on the table. However, they know each other so well that he feels it’s an important reminder that there are consequences for their actions and that it suits the world they live in. Tal points out that the same thing is true for so many types of fiction: “they’re only fine because they’re not real.” Sometimes these stories happen in a vacuum and the hero is immortal...and sometimes, as in their game, they’re not. Matt thinks it’s important to be able to grieve and feel catharsis for even a fictional character (and cites a particular death from C1 as an example for himself). Matt: “In a weird, macabre way, I’m excited to see where the story goes from here.” Brian: “Me, too.” Tal: “Me, too. I mean, at first I was panicking, but now I have a pretty good idea.”

Ashly initially panicked when Matt revealed the Iron Shepherds’ abilities (since she thought she’d misremembered what Matt had said), but then felt even more justified in her RP. Everything felt worse because so many people were gone, including Laura and Travis. “I felt like the babysitter who dropped the baby.” She felt the whole time during the fight that they shouldn’t be engaging the way they were.

Molly’s final thoughts were “easy and simple and base...the immense, reasonable, and wonderfully sustaining emotion of ‘well, fuck you, too,’ which is the righteous and more reasonable cousin to ‘fuck you.’“ No fear, no panic.

The Iron Shepherds existed as part of the worldbuilding in the northern region and were intended to be a later issue, but Matt wove them into the story soon since Laura & Travis had to leave. He wasn’t intending for them to become such an immediate, intense antagonistic force, but DMs have to adapt to the situations and this one felt natural.

Cut to Dani Cam, who had a very hard Thursday night ( :( ). She asks Ashly how Keg, someone very self-preservational, decided to sacrifice herself for the M9. Ashly remembered that in their discussions, Matt characterized Lorenzo as someone who liked to make examples of people, and thought that if she prostrated herself in front of him, he might maim her but not kill her, which turned out to be accurate--so it was still fairly self-preservational on her part. They’ll find out more next week. Ashly will be with us the next two sessions and will be joining the crew at GenCon! Heck yes!!

As much as Tal likes Matt’s Lingering Soul class, he would never consider it as an option for Mollymauk. “There’s no version of Molly coming back as a ghost that doesn’t end with him desperately wanting it to be over.” Matt designed it more narratively to be a person whose sheer force of will keeps them from accepting the moment of death due to unfinished business or the pure determination to live...which they both feel is the exact opposite of Molly.

Matt liked how Taliesin showed that all personalities can play the Blood Hunter, not just the edgy grimdark type.

Fanart of the Week! @jesttothenines, with this pain. Ow.

If Molly hadn’t run to Lorenzo, Beau would have likely been his example instead. Molly was an easier target, though, because he was closer and more hurt. If Beau had been unconscious instead (and not dead) when Keg made her plea, Lorenzo might have asked what she was willing to trade to get Beau back.

This is the second of Tal’s characters Matt’s killed. The first one was a mad monk who liked to set things on fire who was eaten by ghouls.

Dani: “Why can’t this campaign be happy? And fairies?!” Matt: “We had the fairies last campaign in the Feywild! They murdered the pixies! They sided with the werewolves!”

After last campaign, Tal and Dani hugged while Dani cried pretty hard. Then Tal went home and cried himself. He left the table during the episode because he was on the verge of having a panic attack and couldn’t handle watching everyone else panic as well.

Ashly thought she was going to have a limb lopped off at minimum when Lorenzo had her kneel. She didn’t expect to be let go unscathed. 

Molly would have considered his death “worth it” if he knew it meant Beau was spared. In a way, it helps that he now has an “eternal one-up” on her. Matt: “That’s very Molly of him.”

The persuasion success from Keg was a chief reason Lorenzo spared them, but it was also because the rest of the M9 were insignificant gnats to him. Keg’s reaction was the only one he cared about, so as soon as she gave in he’d gotten what he wanted. Then he just wanted to set the example and spread the word.

Ashly hadn’t meant to let them know she’d been part of the slavers until Shady Creek, but actually likes how it came out.

Matt really doesn’t think it was an overall bad plan. It was just a few strategic missteps, some very bad dice rolls, and an enemy that outmatched them.

Dani recalls to us all that Molly had told us it would be a cursed trip.

Molly’s parting advice to the M9: Tal declines to think about it much in depth. “Life’s short, eat a bagel. Join the circus. Lighten up. Life’s short; do something to a bagel.”

The illusion that cloaks the cages under the tarp means that even if the missing three of the M9 are in there, they wouldn’t have seen Molly’s death.

Molly is no different in Taliesin’s head than he was last week, which is why he's having a slightly easier time with this than everyone else. “He’s no different for me, I just don’t get to trot him out on Thursday.” He was based off of several friends, some who have passed away, and several experiences he had as a teenager and places and people he knew that profoundly affected him. He mentions a song off the soundtrack for Wristcutters: A Love Story, since that movie had a lot of “good carnie family vibes” about weird people taking care of each other. There was an archetype in film that was very much Molly which Tal hasn’t seen in a long time, and he explains: there’s a way of living a life where you don’t give a fuck about what people think but you do give a fuck about people. He never needed to be fixed and he never needed permission for anything. He’s not Iron Man where you’re waiting to see him become a good person, and he was never a creature of profound change like Captain America, where you watch to see the good they make on the world; his unfinished business was in each interaction he had with the people in the world and making them deal with him, but making sure that dealing with him was always a positive and kind experience. Matt gets very emotional at the description. Me too, friend.

His favorite part of playing him was being a teenager version of himself; the art and cosplay were spectacular. And the terrible accent, of course.

Brian takes a moment to thank Taliesin for making memorable characters and memorable choices that have a bigger impact than what only they can see. He looked at all the tributes for Molly this week because he wanted to get a feel for how the community was feeling so that they could hone the questions for the show. The character meant a lot to a lot of different types of people, and it’s a testament to Tal’s heart that people connected so much with this character.

Brian, Matt, and Tal are all crying at this point. Ashly starts reactive-crying. Dani’s crying on the Dani Cam. This is AWFUL.

After Dark: QQ Edition

We open laughing (relieving change) since everyone’s hurled obscenities at Brian just before the show went live. Matt enjoys being on the other side of that for once.

Beau is the member of the M9 who’s best earned the right to wear Molly’s coat. “She’s the one who needs to lighten up. Caleb’s never going to lighten up and that’s okay. Jester doesn’t need it. Fjord doesn’t need it. That’s not Nott’s problem.”

Keg is super interested in Nott’s never-ending flask. “I’m abandoning this super dramatic narrative. I’m going for the flask.”

A TPK was possible if the M9 kept throwing themselves at the Iron Shepherds, but Matt knew they were smarter than that and would either flee or give themselves up as Keg did. “It relied on the players’ actions at that point; that’s why I was so nervous. I was like, this is the scenario I built and now we have to see it through.”

Tal honestly doesn’t remember what Liam said to him when he left the table right after him. It was mostly a “well, that happened,” and Liam just refilled his drink before going back to the table.

Tal went home after the show, cried in bed, and then the sun came up and he realized he had no idea for a new character. He spent so much time working on Molly that he never got around to making anything else. He came up with his next idea in about thirteen-fourteen hours, and he’s very happy with it. Matt points out he was explicitly clear about how they needed to come up with backup characters when the campaign started. “These low levels are dangerous!”

Everyone addresses the new studio in terms most respectful and patient, asking it to be benevolent now that it’s had its blood sacrifice. 

Keg’s going to grow a vengeance beard.

Brian talks about Ashley’s reaction on the couch; she leaned forward on her knees, looked over at Brian, and said, “I’m gonna kill that motherfucker.” Brian said, “Yeah, you probably will.” They now have a formidable villain for the early campaign.

Tal can’t even answer the question about how Yasha will react when she finds out. “Oh, no. Oh, no.”

Matt and Brian have a retrospective moment of panic about how good it is Yasha wasn’t there that night, since she’s a rage-based barbarian. Matt, wide-eyed: “There would have been no parlay. Oh, no. Next question.”

Keg’s favorite moments were the secret-sharing with Nott and the conversation with Beau. Matt loved their meeting: “When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. It was beautiful.”

Brian’s first desire after the show was to rage-tweet Matt Colville. He, apparently, refrained.

 Matt thinks the threat of death should be present and played out when it happens, but he never likes playing DM-vs.-player.

Tal smiled when Molly was being killed because that was both Molly’s reaction, and because Tal himself is a nervous smiler.

Matt doesn’t consider this revenge for Tal killing him off so soon in the Vampire oneshot; Tal reminds us that he knew Matt knew about the very specific subclass he’d given Matt and they both knew what would happen when he went outside.

Tal and Matt reminisce about early PC deaths. “What was that, 2012?” Ashly: “Aw, you guys have killed each other so much!”

They’re asked about the best lie they’ve ever told. Tal convinced someone a nonsense Pirate Queen existed; Matt doesn’t really lie, but when he senses gullibility he doubles down until reality’s rearranged.

Tal started wearing black when Jim Henson died...except that he forbade black at his funeral. The camera zooms in on Tal’s iridescent loafers & his peacock paisley shirt: “This is Molly’s funeral shirt.”

Ashly will definitely be back on Thursday; Tal will be back as soon as the narrative allows it. He’s prepared for Thursday if it works out.

And that’s where it wraps up tonight. Be good to each other; it’s almost Thursday.

[fantroll-purgatory]

Tethered AU (Us spoilers)

Saw Us, loved it, had this idea kicking around in my head for two trolls and wanted to get it out with my precious half hour of free time.

I FINALLY saw Us, after about a million years of wanting to, and I’ve gotta say that I’m surprised that we haven’t gotten any Cherubs for this concept yet. I hope we get some. But anyways this is a FANTASTIC troll. I honestly probably won’t have much to say besides praise throughout this review, because like… yeah.

AU Details:

Deliberately kept sketchy since the movie didn’t elaborate much either.

The Tethered live in sea-accessible caves on a conquered planet of the Condesce’s. The result of a seadweller experiment that involved deliberately splitting an egg and taking one of the resulting trolls belowground and injecting them liberally with burgundy blood in the hopes of forging a psychic link through which their aboveground counterpart could be controlled. Unfortunately, since this experiment was largely carried out with upper class bluebloods, their Tethered were psychically susceptible to the link and instead found themselves helplessly puppeted around. Disheartened, the seadwellers abandoned their monstrous experiment, that they might at least serve as adequate food to the feral lusii that lived in the abandoned breeding caverns.

Troll 1: RADIMA AVISCH

Jordan Peele was clearly trying to go for a “Red Queen” thing with the two women’s names, so I created Radima’s first name from Romanch for “queen.” Her second name comes from “giavisch,” the Romanch word for “desire,” which is one of the meanings of Adelaide’s married name, Wilson.

Queen of Desire is a great name for this character and a character inspired by Adelaide in general. One of my favorite parts of the movie was definitely the dual sympathy and criticism of Adelaide and this hits that note well. 

Age: 18 Sweeps

Strife Specibus: pokerkind

Also kicks like Joey’s in Hiveswap.

Fetch Modus: PAS DE DEUX

Items must be put in two at a time and can only be retrieved as such. Sometimes items will “trade partners” and eject with a different one than it started with (the reasoning for new pairings is unknown).

Blood color: Mutated teal

Has burgundyblood psychic susceptibility, theoretically.

Symbol and meaning:

Teal bunny based vaguely off Limini, Bergun’s original sign.

Something like this maybe? 

LIMINI - THE ABIDER 

To abide, of course, meaning to acquiesce your will… Very fitting.  Trolltag: therandomMinornote [TM]

In the trailer, Adelaide’s snapping is a little off in rhythm, which is odd since she’s a ballerina. Radima, similarly, does not fit in, and it shows in the fact that her trolltag’s cadene doesn’t match the traditional two-word format. It’s from a lyric of Janelle Monae’s “I Like That,” which appears on the Us soundtrack and is itself a nod to duality and varying from the norm. Furthermore, the abbreviation [TM] is once again her trying to mark herself as sufficiently “real.”

Quirk: Sorry, I’m not one for small talk.

Only odd in that she has no quirk at all. It unsettles other trolls.

Special Abilities (if any):

Passive psychic link to Bergun in which Bergun is propelled around is Radima’s emotions are sufficiently elevated. Potentially an example of a “success” from the previously mentioned experiment.

Lusus: A massive wolpertinger.

Radima seemed distant from it every since an incident in which she wandered off at about 3 sweeps old, and flinched whenever she saw it. Seemed palpably relieved when it was killed by another, bigger lusus.

Personality:

Warm and loving to those she trusts, friendly but reserved to those she doesn’t. Radima seems to lack the zeal for widespread social change characteristic of her fellow tealbloods. She prefers to keep to herself and moderate a local library, where she can help others learn of the world she calls home.

Interests:

Ballet, books, music, gardening. Has a very strong aversion to water and the beach.

Title: Thief of Life

Pretty self-explanatory; she knocked out and replaced Bergun when they were 3 sweeps old. While she keeps to herself, she is relentlessly driven.

I am almost tempted to make the obvious Heart-Mind suggestion considering the fact that those are more related to concepts of identity than Life and Doom, but Bergun/Red definitely are so community-motivated that they sidestep the internalized issues/struggle of Heart-Mind. Life is about essence and growth and she did steal Bergun’s developmental energy very literally, so it’s Fair And Fitting. that’s a lot of words to say I agree. 

Land: Land of Smoke and Mirrors (LOSAM)

The land is full of references to magic, from puzzle-like mirrors to adorable fluffy bunnies. The fumes threaten to choke her if she doesn’t figure out how to restore life to the planet to sap it of its excess carbon dioxide.

Dream Planet: Prospit

Radima could not think of a way to live a happy life without hurting another, and the resulting fear is directly because she cannot believe it was a destiny she was allowed to thwart. She knows that Bergun MUST come for her.

Appearance:

Radima uses black and teal in excessive amounts, as if to say “how do you do, fellow tealbloods???”

Troll 2: BERGUN ZWILIG

She named herself. A short version of Burgundy (the blood color she’s believed to have), AND one of the names of a former Swiss municipality (Bergun/Bravuogn), a double-named place. Last name derived from the German word for “twin,” which may seem on the nose but Adelaide’s maiden name is “Thomas,” which means the same thing in Aramaic.

She presumably named herself, which makes it seem even more likely that she would think to pick something obvious like Another Word For Twin. 

Age: 18 sweeps

Strife Specibus: scissorkind

Fetch Modus: NUTCRACKER

She needs to crack the cards open, which puts captcha cards at a worrying premium. If she exerts too much force she may also damage the item inside in addition to the card itself. Bee – caarefuul –

Blood color: Teal

Presents as burgundy, same as the other Tethered.

Symbol and meaning:

Burgundy bunny based vaguely off Arsci, Radima’s original sign

Something like- 

ARSCI - THE MEDIC

That’s a fun one. 

Trolltag: distonicInsurgent [DI]

Both a reference to her dystonic voice and her dystopic circumstances. Insurgent is obvious but it also carries the root for rising up, which is great.

Quirk: Oonce – uupoon – aa – time –

Doubles audible vowels and breaks up her words with harsh breaths.

Special Abilities (if any):

Passive psychic link to Radima. Unclear if there’s any utility there.

Lusus: None but the feral, flayed rabbit lusii that roam the caverns.

The serve as effective guards, terrifying caretakers, and – if one can get the jump on one – a wholesome meal. They’re a reference to the Hare of Inuyaba, who used deception to cross what should have been an uncrossable barrier and was flayed alive when the deception was revealed. The actual myth resolves with the rabbit being healed after someone showed it kindness, but in this case it only serves to highlight the brutality of the underground.

Personality:

Bergun was born aboveground and continues to be a tealblood to her bones, inciting rebellion with harsh and terrifying speeches.

Interests:

Murder, ballet, sewing (making the jumpsuits for herself and the other insurgents is extremely grounding for her because it’s one of the few things she has that has nothing to do with Radima), sign language (a specific one crafted by the Tethered, unmappable to existing Alternian languages)

She also has a love for Rebellion. And maybe fantasy stories. One of the things Red clings onto is stories from her childhood, since she isn’t given the chance to read any more after she is taken, presumably. You could probably give her a love for that, too. Storytelling. 

Title: Page of Doom

Once again, self explanatory. Bergun was dragged underground by Radima, and while she herself was subjected to doom, she allowed it to simmer for 15 sweeps before the resulting backlash erupted from underground. She is herself the inevitable force Radima fears so much.

Land: Land of Tethers and Tightropes (LOTAT)

In a cruel twist of fate, Bergun’s land is covered in ropes, which are stretched across cliffs high above the valleys below, the Land so covered in fog that she can’t see the bottom. This is the highest above ground she’ll ever be. But is the quickest way to reach the denizen by cutting the rope and seeing where the fall takes her?

Dream Planet: Derse

Which she herself is a destiny for Radima, Bergun’s own arc is about rejecting the rules put in place for how the Tethered ought to behave.

Appearance:

I was just thinking the burgundy jumpsuit, and the same sprite as Radima’s but for fatigued, but I am very open to suggestions!

I love all of this and as I said, I feel like I didn’t have many suggestions. This is just an all around great troll and a fantastic interpretation of the characters in Us. Thank you for sharing!

-CD

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Hey not really meta but as tumblr's resident Komaeda expert (tm) what do you think his plan was with the laxatives? Walk up to the judges and be like "drink this it's for luck 🤥😁"??

Send Me A Topic To Write Meta On // always accepting.

This has been in my inbox for forever and I’m sorry anon, I just wanted a chance to rewatch the episode in question before I answered. Also, from now on, I refuse to be referred to as anything but the Resident Komaeda Expert™ so thank you lmao. 

 Also…this went on a bit. I’m not sorry for that. 

 There are 5 judges and 5 cups, and he does spike the cups (albeit with the wrong drug due to convoluted bullshit), so I can only assume he was going to slip them the laxative to delay the exams. Initially I thought his plan might involve a roulette type thing as a part of his exam in order to get the judges to drink with him or something, but that doesn’t really check out with only 5 cups. I guess maybe he was going to give them the drinks as a courtesy or something. It really isn’t clear, and doesn’t make sense anyway. Wouldn’t they have drinks already? Why would they take lukewarm water from a random student if not for his exam? Though to be honest, the whole plan was freaking weird from the start. I know he goes to life-threatening lengths in the killing game, but that was during a killing game. He’s a smart boy and a brilliant strategist, you’d think he could come up with something that didn’t put anyone in literal danger? Also the fact that his initial plan is a threat on the school, then his next is a laxative, and then a literal fucking bomb. That’s some weird escalation there.

 There’s a lot of overwriting of Nagito in this situation. It gets very tiring. They really step it up a notch in terms of the miserable, pessimistic mood he takes on at times. In the game, there’s usually a reason for this - however small or seemingly insignificant. He will make a mistake, or witness something unlucky, and thus the self-denigration. There’s a reason and rhyme to the way he is. Contrast that with this example: the day of the exams, Nagito is on his way to enact his plan, when he literally runs into Seiko, knocking them both to the ground. They talk for a moment, before Seiko realises she’s late and runs off. Despite the collision (in which no one is hurt, mind you), the conversation goes fine. Seiko is a little awkward as always, but he does manage to make her smile. He has no reason to be upset. He doesn’t know their bags have been switched, or anything out of the ordinary has resulted from the exchange. Yet he still say something to the effect of “so much for that” in such an unhappy tone. It makes no sense. There’s no reason for him to go all it’s just my luck :/ on us except that Ko’s gotta Ko, I guess. 

 I also find it interesting that Seiko told Nagito to his face what the laxative was called (reactivator) and he still managed to confuse it with the other drug (reanimator). I watched the absolute trip that is the dub, so maybe there’s something in the original Japanese that explains this, but that just seems kinda dumb on his end. 

 The anime is full of moments like that where they break a character down to their most stereotyped form, or throw in some BS that doesn’t make sense and feels cheap and lazy, even with the plot device that is Nagito’s luck; but this episode is particularly egregious. Possibly because it so heavily features Nagito. And it’s just easier to write him as a one-dimensional hope hoe than to remember how much depth and nuance went into him originally. 

 Of course, Nagito isn’t the only one done wrong by this episode. I need to feel for Seiko, too. I liked her a lot, but this whole arc just didn’t do her justice. What happened to her wasn’t fair, and the story never seems to notice.

 For a bombing incident, Hope’s Peak’s investigation and handling of the matter is weaksauce. The whole thing was Komaeda’s doing, yet he gets off with just a suspension, because his talent is too…valuable? I mean, I get that his luck is intense, but I don’t get why Seiko and Sonosuke were expelled for it, considering their involvement was sheer accident. I kind of get Ruruka, since she was the one who was cheating, and that’s a separate matter, and grounds for expulsion (presumably) anyway. And there’s something to be said for facilitation: Seiko provided the drug, Sonosuke was present during the exchange and did nothing. That might warrant a suspension too, particularly for Sonosuke, but Seiko was bullied into it. Shouldn’t that count for something? By this point, it wasn’t even the first time Seiko had been bullied into something by Ruruka. Ah, but why should I be surprised? We all know Hope’s Peak’s bullying policies are…….non-existent. 

 Basically what I get from this is: either the school didn’t know everyone’s exact level of involvement, or didn’t care. And considering how open Komaeda was about the way things went down afterwards, that seems very negligent to me. 

 Seiko is shy and jittery, the characteristics of someone who is either mega anxious, or used to being mistreated. Ruruka doesn’t treat her well at all. Sonosuke allows it. Most of the students at school use her for what they can take from her. She gets a moment of pure joy just hearing she genuinely helped Nagito out. That is an amazing foundation for a character - someone who wants to help but is just used by everyone in her life. And yes, I know it comes to something in the sequel portion of the anime, but I’m still mad about it nonetheless. Seiko deserved a better anime. So did Nagito. So did everyone. 

 And while I’m here and throwing shade!! I’ve already expressed my disdain for the exams. The way they force these kids’ identities and self worth to revolve around a talent the school deems worthy, then threatens to take it all away on live TV. The way there’s no workaround for these kids after two of them just lost people very close to them. But here’s another thing: just who do these panelists think they are, and why should we care about their opinions? According to the Hope’s Peak DR Wikia page, they’re a group of “dignitaries and experts” which, right off the bat, can go get bent. There’s no way that five people have enough expertise between them to judge if the wide variety of talents at Hope’s Peak truly is the best in the world. No way. And even if there was such a group of people, you’d think this panel would include, oh, say…their principal or the scout who initially found these people?? But Jin Kirigiri is nowhere in sight, nor is Kizakura, or any other former or current scout. Especially because the students’ place at the school is on the line. It’s just so stupid, and at this point, I don’t even know if it’s intentional or not. 

 I know this got way off-course for a while there, I just had a lot of thoughts while rewatching. Tl;dr: that’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard, but knowing the way this anime could be at times, I wouldn’t be surprised. 

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 1]

White was so much fun, the sequel was obviously inevitable. Only I don’t own White 2, so Black 2 shall be our contestant. All encounters and starters will be random, static pokemon are what they are originally. Any pokemon not randomized is ineligible for use.

Nuzlocke rules, again copied from Bulbapedia:

    Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead, and must be released or put in the Pokémon Storage System permanently.

   The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else.

My added rules of choice:

Each pokemon must be nicknamed.

If the first pokemon in an area is a species I’ve already caught, the first one that isn’t will become the catch option.

The catch rules start applying once I have the option of catching things.

No looking anything up on guides.

Team wipe means continuing on using whatever I have in the PC.

Let’s have some fun.

Second verse, same as the first.

I haven’t adjusted the text speed yet and it is driving me insane.

I remember having so much love for this gen, but the designs of these poor children still provoke odd looks. Not that I mind walking around with a palm tree on my head, I just question why anyone thought that I would want that.

Hugh!

Wait, do I get to pick his name?

I do!

Uhhh.

Wow, I forgot that this was the hardest part about Nuzlockes. I can’t just go with Hugh if this is a true random. Hm. Okay then, in honor of friendship, this guy’s name can be Russell.

The first thing our mom does in this game is give me cause to ship her with Professor Juniper. Our mom knows her first name. It’s Aurea. Why would she know that if they were not secretly involved in some way???

Is this the first game that has an outside character get first crack at moving the screen around after we’ve chosen our name? I kind of like it.

I like it more now that it’s ending and I can switch the text speed to Fast.

Heeeeey it’s us. Palm tree hair and all.

I never find out what the contrary answers lead to, because I can never make myself pick them. It makes my completionist nature very sad. As does the reminder that I do not have the ability to run yet. Someone please give this poor boy some shoes.

Bianca is here to meet us!

She is not our bestie in this version, but she is in our hearts.

This is our bestie this version.

He’s got a little sister.

Just so we know all that black and red in his color scheme is for show.

Look at him walking in time with us like the total bro he is.

Dude is this his room? I want one.

Bianca! Friend!

That awkward moment when you have the same name as one of her best friends who will never be seen this entire game.

Okay okay okay it’s time.

Time to receive our starter.

Our choices are:

Ah that’s rough. Hm.

My preference is always going to be to have something’s first state, that I can level up and evolve myself, but I recently finished my White run, and in it I had Larvitar’s line as well as Aggron’s, so really, there can be only one choice.

Snorlax, I choose you!

And my first act as your new friend is to give you a brand new name that I need to come up with!

Snore, sleep, yawn... sleep words... Dreamor?

Heck that’s a dorky name. He needs it.

Dreamor got, Russell steps in and asks for an in on our journey. He has his own super special mission that I’m not supposed to remember but I do, and talks Bianca into giving him a pokedex as well. Because Bianca’s a sweetheart.

But before we can go any further, it’s time to d-d-d-d-duel!

Everything about Russell’s design screams childhood-friend-gone-villain and I love how little that has anything to do with his arc.

Oshawaott vs. Dreamor! Lesgo!

Snorlax knows Tackle and Defense Curl, which is actually appropriate for a starter. I am going to be dull and Tackle spam.

...

OHKO.

Dreamor appears to be... enthusiastic. in his participation.

G-good job, boy.

Bianca even walks us to the Pokemon Center, because she’s just that wonderful. She also gives us some Poke Balls (again, see wonderful), which means that we’re officially in business to get this run on the road.

...I really hope Dreamor doesn’t faint everything in one hit. This could be a lonely start for the two of us if he’s as strong as he looks.

-gasp-

Our mother greets us outside the Center and gives us Running Shoes.

Thank you mother. I knew you loved us.

Aw, and Russell’s baby sister gives us a Town Map. Thanks, kiddo. I will deliver your brother’s copy with great haste and competence.

(They keep calling Dreamor Tepig.)

Before we go any further, let’s find out what sort of critter Dreamor is.

Rash and capable of taking hits. Well, if you’re going to be rash, you might as well be prepared to handle what it gets you into. The nature gets a sad face out of me for mechanics, but I always love having Thick Fat available, and look at that smile.

Oh my gosh the gate attendant knows our name and gave us a Potion for our journey. I feel so cared for.

Bianca teaches us how to catch stuff, and we, being an experienced trainer, completely ignore the lesson and wait for control to be returned to us.

The first tall grass awaits our first step. Dreamor! Let us go forth and meet our next friend!

!!!!!!

..Oh heck though.

She’s level 2.

I don’t know if she can eat a Tackle from Dreamor.

Also I might end up not using her because I used her line in the last run but hey I didn’t use Politoed (and I also don’t know how to get a Politoed given the settings).

I’ll throw a ball first, then see if she lives through a Tackle.

...Ah, the return of Hypnosis.

...Is all she knows Hypnosis? No, there’s also Water Sport.

Hey, she lives through a Tackle!

...Barely!

Ball thrown, Poliwhirl get!

From now on, your new name shall be... Stella. And we need to run back to a Center pronto. Your new teammate whacked you one good.

Stella is Quirky and alert to sounds. Sounds good to me, but I have zero clue how to evolve you to a Politoed. I think normally you need a King’s Rock and trading, but I selected the box that cleared up trading requirements for evolutions, giving me no clue whatsoever what to do with you, darling.

All the same, welcome. Your line is one of my favorites.

...Also you are not a Zubat.

Zubat was an option for this route.

Stella, your worth just went up.

Even if I end up not using her due to memories of Wagston overriding sense, I don’t think I can keep her at level 2, so we’re going to do some switch training for a tiny bit.

...Sir, what are you doing here I have been playing for five seconds.

He offers training, but since he gives me my controls right back after him and his neat soundtrack walk around inspecting me, I’m going to go ahead with my original plans.

Stella downed a level 2 Zubat all by herself. She’s growing up so fast.

WHY DOES HYPNOSIS HAVE 100 ACCURACY WHEN IT’S USED AGAINST ME. ;-;

Oh, wow, the next Pokemon Center is just. right there, isn’t it.

“Flocessy Town Prophecy Flocks Here”

You have never known a love as true as Pokemon translators and wordplay. Apparently this is where Alder’s house is. Apparently Champions are now allowed houses, and not only if your name is Cynthia. I call hax.

Alder wants Russell to have his Town Map before training, and Russell is on Route 20, which means....

our next friend

Are the leaves grass, or just pretty?

After tromping over them for several seconds, it looks to be that they are merely pretty. Very pretty, though.

Aha, grass located. What awaits us?

Hello there!

It’s a grand ol’ gen one time, it seems. Dreamor can’t hit you, so Stella, up you go. Please do not kill her.

Gastly get!

You shall be... Caspet.

Caspet has a Mild nature to go with her sturdy body. With her we shall find if I actually screwed up the evolution options. I’m still really new to Randomizer, and probably should have looked up what the choices did on Google before starting this run, but the rule after the run has begun is no guides, so here we are.

We enter Flocessy Ranch, which is a new location. Another friend already. Our fortune is pure.

...How do I keep finding every generation one creature that needs trading to evolve. Is this going to be this run’s theme?

Oh, it Teleported.

I forgot they liked to do that.

...Welp. There’s that route dead.

Is there anything in this route that can give me exp?

Even if there is, it’s so Kadabra heavy that I’d just as soon not bother. Having things constantly run away from you is really tiring. We’ll give Russell his map and leave.

Wait what.

We just fought five minutes ago. Russell. Russell. Just because your theme music is rad as heck and demanding action doesn’t mean you have to be running a mile a minute. That’s the scarf gen’s deal.

Dreamor eats Oshawott and all is well.

Then we get a random sidequest to locate a Herdier for the owners of the ranch. To which Russell experiences Emotions at, because Reasons.

Everyone needs a screenshot of Mareep running in a circle.

Hey, something not Kadabra. Hi Cottonee. Bye Cottonee. And that item ball in the corner is a Poke Ball. Oh, and here’s a Basculin. Look at all these things not running away from us.

...I... need an adult?

Dreamor has taken on the role of adult. I’m not sure Mienshao even knows Fighting moves at that level, but fully evolved things this early on are scary regardless.

We find the Herdier being unhappy with a Team Plasma Grunt.

He throws the Frustration TM at us. Hee.

Herdier has such a cute bwoof.

The day is saved, and now Alder’s down for palling around with us.

By palling around, I mean Alder introduces us to two small children he expects us to beat into the ground. As you do.

All passes without incident. Yay.

We walk outside and Mr. Medal gives us a Medal Box, which I don’t clearly remember, but suspect is intending to prey on me and my achievement hunting ways.

Alder is also kind enough to alert us that a Gym Leader has arrived at our home town. I wonder who it might be, but before that, Alder has a random cave place behind his home. New route?

It’s counted as part of Flocessy, it looks like. I haven’t caught anything within the town limits, but there doesn’t appear to be grass. Water, but I can’t do anything about that yet. Sigh. Oh well.

First badge is Normal, I believe.

...Let’s train Dreamor a tad more before we go after that. I believe in you, buddy, but I am also very rightfully paranoid.

Azumarill live in Caspet’s home grass.

When does Caspet learn something that isn’t Lick or a status move. My poor little ghost.

...

Yeah it’s level 3 but it’s still a scary thing to see.

Hey, first legendary of the run!

And Caspet has Mean Look... We could see if she has what it takes to Lick Kadabra down to size. Like tootsie pops. You could be an owl, Caspet.

This place was crowded with Kadabra, and now there’s Ambipom just hanging out. Okay then. Cue Geodude for some reason. Oh. And Linoone.

-tears for Bandit-

Hey wait hold up. Psychic is super effective against Ghost in this version? That’s... good to know. It also doesn’t sound right, but I don’t think the game cares about that. That’s annoying.

No Caspet, you can’t learn Curse. I’m going to come close enough to killing you as it is. Don’t enable the process.

Let’s go for it, shall we?

Cheren! Friend!

I actually really like the arrangement of his Gym. It isn’t the aesthetic wonderland that other Gyms of this gen are, but that’s kind of what makes it awesome? Cheren runs a school that doubles as a Gym. You battle in chalk-marked arenas out back.

I guess I misspoke; the aesthetic is still rich with this one. School day feels of being young are so very alive here, and I really like it.

Other things deserving of being liked are Cheren being an educator. Our buddy’s found his way, and we get to be his first challenger!

That’s another thing to love, honestly. We spent a whole game with this guy around, and now we’re his debut Gym Leader match. It’s so touching.

Cheren, stop blushing, you’ll be fine.

I mean. Dreamor’s going to mop the floor with you.

But that’s your job now. Losing to trainers of a certain level.

I believe in you, man.

I just believe in Dreamor more.

Awesomeness achieved, and that will do it for this part!

(Except for squeeing because Bianca showed up and gave us the Return TM, as well as the C-Gear I’ll never use, and Cheren and Bianca get to be in the same shot, and it’s the magic of friendship all over again. You did good for yourselves, guys. I’m sorry you don’t remember me as your bestie anymore.)

Until next time for the next badge.

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Review: Before They Are Hanged

by Wardog

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Wardog tries not to sound too bitterly disillusioned.~

Still high from

my astonishingly gushy review

of Joe Abercrombie's first book, The Blade Itself, I recently embarked upon part two of the trilogy, Before They Are Hanged. If nothing else, it's an object lesson in why one shouldn't bandy the phrase "the best fantasy I've read" about without due care and attention. In short, then, the bad news is that The First Law Trilogy is not going to be the, ahem, fantasy masterpiece I thought it was; nor is it a cunning subversion of the genre or a profound meditation on the nature of the violence or any of the other silly silly things I tried to claim it was. In good, news, however, it's still okay. Well, better than average at least.

Relatively Spoiler-Free Comments

Following on at a fair pace from the events of the first book, Before They Are Hanged basically devolves into three probably connected but currently non-overlapping plot threads: you have Inquisitor Glokta fortifying Dagoska against the impending Gurkish Invasion, you have Colonel West on the frontlines of the war between the Union Forces and the Northmen and you have Bayez The Probably Batshit First Of Magi and his adventuring party (including the feckless swordsman Jezel and the thinking man's barbarian Logen Ninefingers) off on a quest for Generic Fantasy Artefact TM. All of Abercrombie's strengths are present: solidly drawn, generally morally interesting characters, crisp, sharp dialogue, exceptionally clear and vivid action sequences and a reasonable command of plotting and pacing (I was genuinely impressed when the war actually kicked off on page 187). Unfortunately, his weaknesses are also more apparent in this second outing.

Specifically, what seemed intriguingly and comfortingly generic the first time round now seems merely generically generic - the Traditional Fantasy Quest Plot, for example. It's engagingly written but it's still by far and away the least interesting third of the book. Subtleties of morality and characterisation also seem to have been lost: Jezel's redemption arc via a mace in the face is both abrupt and unconvincing; Colonel West, who was a minor player in the first book takes a more central role here but his self-disgust and his lack of self-awareness are portrayed rather clumsily, and Logen seems to have become the book's moral mouthpiece, a role which doesn't suit him and actually makes him come across as the oddest Mary Sue ever to grace the pages of fantasy fiction. Whereas all the other characters are just as much the sum of their flaws as their virtues, in Before They Are Hanged, it rapidly becomes apparent (and without giving too much away) that Logen's flaws, like his capacity for violence and destruction, are external to him rather than integral: this unbalances his character when set against the others, as well as making him significantly less interesting.

At least the crippled inquisitor, Glokta, remains as cool as ever. He's such a wonderful character that the book is worth reading for him alone.

In non-spoilerful conclusion, then, Before They Are Hanged is an above-average fantasy novel. To my mind it doesn't quite live up to the potential of the first but then there's a high probability I read things into The Blade Itself that weren't actually there at all. Nevertheless, it remains for the most part a well-written, well-structured and well-paced read that doesn't suffer too badly from fantasy-trilogy sag. It's won't change your life but it will pass the time effectively and competently, and Abercrombie has a real knack for action so expect some impressively bloody battles.

However, I do have some quite serious concerns / niggles that cannot be discussed without:

Massive Big Honking Spoilers

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As I mentioned earlier in this review, I felt that the characterisation suffered from being less nuanced than in The Blade Itself and this also applies to the book's depiction of morality. Specifically, what I really liked about The Blade Itself was its portrayal of violence. It's a typical low fantasy world so horrible things happen to semi-horrible people all the time and the book did a wonderful job of evoking the reality of that kind of society and that kind of violence. It was never gratuitously in your face about it but it was something Abercrombie did really very vividly. The Blade Itself seemed to be saying that a will towards power, violence and destruction is very much a natural part of being human - even the title, which I believe is a re-working of a quote from Homer which goes something like "the presence of weapons themselves is an encouragement to use them" seems to be concerned with the articulation of this idea. What made Logen so intriguing a character in such a world was that, as a brutal killer, he had essentially come full circle. The ultimate survivalist had become the ultimate moralist: a man who fought no longer for survival but for what he believed was right. However, in Before They Are Hanged, violence is portrayed - deliberately or not - as something very much outside and closed off from ordinary human experience: in extremis, West basically goes nuts and bites someone's nose off, Logen's barbarism is located in a spirit that possess him not within his own nature and Glotka, of course, continues to helplessly do unto others what was done to him.

I know we end up talking about rape a lot here but there's a really annoying nearly-rape in Before They Are Hanged that also ties into my concerns about the book's wavering moral compass. West is sent out to the front lines with the Crown Prince and an army of starving peasantry, where it is hoped the Prince can feel important and gather glory without ever actually encountering the reality of war. Needless to say, he's a complete waste of space and ends up taking the ragged army of ill-equipped and untrained peasants out to meet the Northman and everybody gets horrifically slaughtered, except West, the Prince, a random blacksmith chick and a small retinue of Northmen trying to oppose their war-mongering King. Then there's a lot of trudging around in cold trying to get the Prince to safety, during which time the Prince continues to be a complete waste of space in every conceivable way, showing no gratitude for those who are risking their lives to protect him or the thousands he just sent off to their deaths. Finally, West catches him in the act of trying to rape the random blacksmith chick, flips out and throws him off a cliff. Now, don't get me wrong. Rape is a terrible terrible thing. But the waste-of-space Crown Prince is also responsible for the deaths of literally thousands of people: surely that was the time to shove him off a cliff?

You can argue that Abercrombie is making an interesting point regarding the personal versus the political and that it is the small acts that affect us that individuals that spur us into action, rather than the huge acts that destroy the lives of thousands. But truthfully it just seems like typical fantasy novel inconsistency to me, and the incident says more about Abercrombie as a writer than about West as a character. As I have already written about at length in various places on this site, I hate the fact that fantasy writers tend to use rape as some kind of moral shorthand. In this instance (as in others), I very strongly felt that throwing out a casual rape scene as a way to convince us the Crown Prince really is as bad as we think he is, merely lessened the impact of his previous atrocities and implies an unhelpful moral equivalence I don't mean to get all Jeremy Bentham about it but surely Abercrombie is not trying to get us to weigh the attempted rape of one woman against the lives of thousands of peasants.

My final irritation has nothing to do with morals, merely time-wasting. One of the three plotlines, as I have mentioned, is a Generic Fantasy Quest. However, when the party arrives at its destination the Generic Fantasy Object they are seeking is conspicuous by its absence. This naturally ends the book on a note of self-conscious anti-climax. Although this is ... I suppose ... interesting in theory it is, in practice, as you might expect, anticlimactic i.e. massively unsatisfying. I read pretty quickly but nevertheless Joe Abercrombie essentially just made me about 200 hundred pages for absolutely nothing. It seems there's only one thing worse than a Generic Fantasy Quest Plot and that's a completely pointless Generic Fantasy Quest Plot. Grrr. I'm sure it'll make sense once placed in the context of the final novel but that doesn't excuse the fact that it renders a third of this one hollow.Themes:

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Joe W

at 10:28 on 2008-06-19I'm looking forward to your analysis of the last book (which I can lend you, if you want)

SPOILERS of Before They Are Hanged BELOW

I share a lot of your criticisms about this book- in particular I also disliked the resolution of the Generic Fantasy Quest Plot.

I'm in two minds about Ladisla's death. I don't mind West killing him for the rape attempt; I can quite happily see it as the straw that broke the camel's back. I can quite easily see why you'd kill a man for that, but not for willful stupidity that leads to thousands of deaths. After all getting to do the latter is one of the traditional perks of being royalty- it was idiotic but not actively malicious.

What I didn't like was how much of a caricature Ladisla was- I could have lived with him as simply being utterly crap, but the rape attempt took him straight from crap into wilfully evil. I'd expected some sort of twist to the character and then was disappointed when it panned out just as I'd expect in any other book.

I will note in reference to one of your other points. that I don't think the Bloody-Nine is a spirit external to Logen; I think that like West he goes batshit in a fight- it's just that Logen tries so hard to divorce himself from the berserker that he no longer even self-identifies in that state.

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Dan H

at 13:52 on 2008-06-19

What I didn't like was how much of a caricature Ladisla was- I could have lived with him as simply being utterly crap, but the rape attempt took him straight from crap into wilfully evil.

That's usually my problem with the Obligatory Fantasy Rape Scenes. It's so often used as evidence that a particular character is zomg teh evil. See my recent article on /Age of the Five/.

As for the Bloody-Nine, I've only read the first book, and I was certainly *concerned* that there was going to be a "big reveal" to the effect that Logan was effectively controlled by an external spirit. If it remains ambiguous throughout all three books, then that's a lot better than I was expecting.

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Wardog

at 15:02 on 2008-06-19I do actually have The Last Argument of Kings - I was so passionately in love with TBI that I rushed out and bought both sequels. I'm giving myself a break to try and get over the fact that they're not what I thought they were and enjoy them for what they actually are - but I'll certainly be embarking it upon it in the next couple of weeks. But thank you kindly for the offer.

I know what you mean about Ladisla; everything about the character, and the way he's dealt with, annoys me. Being idiotic is, as you say, a traditional perk of being royalty BUT it's like he's deliberately set up so that you want somebody (probably West) to just freak out and kill the guy. I remember thinking to myself as I was reading the bit where West literally begs him not to throw away probably the war and all of those lives, "kill him, West, just kill him now." And, of course, he doesn't. He just grits his teeth and respects the institution of the monarch as, living in a heredity monarchy, you probably would. So that's why the rape-triggered freak out irritates me particularly. But, yes, you're right - it's also just depressing to have a cardboard cutout in a world otherwise by populated by quite interestingly flawed people. Even Arch Lector Sult - who is basically hand-rubbingly evil from toes to nose - is *interesting*.

About Logen ... mmm...I'm not sure. Perhaps you're right that it's just a psychological trick he's developed to protect himself from the truth of what he really is but it seems to me that the narrative seems to hinting otherwise. I mean, there's that scene where they're all sitting round the campfire confessing their mistakes (Bayaz talks about his love his master's daughter and all that stuff) and Logen talks about the time he killed his best friend and didn't remember doing it, and gives a long list of similar incidents. Also when the narrative describes Logen in extreme beserker mode it does differentiate between Logen and this other force, The Bloody Nine. Maybe you're right and it's just a rhetorical trick and you probably know since you've read the last book but even if it is just a metaphor it nevertheless isolates Logen's violent identity as something other to who he really is...

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Arthur B

at 12:31 on 2011-04-11Oh dear. I just tried to read this one and failed horribly. Maybe it's just that I left it over a year since reading the previous one - but then again, they weren't published that close to each other, were they? - but it failed to grab me early on. I tried to give it a fair chance and told myself I'd read up to page 100 and see if it had grown on me by that point, but it turned out to be a serious struggle to force myself to even get as far as page 50, so I gave up.

I think part of the problem was how utterly transparent Abercrombie is in his use of cliches and cheap shots here, combined with how shallow and simplistic the situations he constructs is.

The major example in the section I've picked out: you've got West briefing the generals and the Crown Prince on the situation in Angland, and the prince and both generals are all such over-the-top cartoons that West might as well have been briefing General Stickupthearse, General Flouncey-Dandy, and Crown Prince Totalfuckingdisaster, with Marshall Basicallyagoodsort looking on approvingly. The characterisation is so heavy-handed that you can't really take anything away from it beyond "these are the characters you are supposed to like, these are the characters you are supposed to hate."

I didn't even get to anything about Bayaz's wizardy quest, and I had this sudden epiphany where I realised that I had completely ceased to care about said quest. I didn't care about any of the characters I remembered from the last book at all. Maybe that's a consequence of leaving it so long to read book 2, or maybe that's why I left it so long in the first place: I just didn't

care

any more.