#i think even with a partner he'd be like come meditate by my side if you want

[ioniansunsets]

🕊️ for Heartsteel Yone? :-3

"🕊️- 3 habits you have?"

He has routines. Things he does everyday when he wakes up and every night before he sleeps. Things that Yone does to make sure he has time for himself through the hustle and bustle of being a producer for Heartsteel. I think they count as habits?

Morning meditation! The incense wood/scent varies, and whether he does yoga or just listens to music that can change. But he always squeezes out 15-30 minutes before the start of his day to light something, and spend sometime meditating without the interruptions of anything. I'd like to think he has a personal habit of buying incense sticks/cones form places he visits to remember them by. (or maybe even incense holders too)

He then goes and makes coffee for himself while checking his notifs (only personal! this is his designated alone time to talk to people before his work day). Just like before it can vary! Be it coffee that he painstakingly brews himself on that fancy coffeemachine he spent a paycheck on or just an exhausted packet of instant coffee or even just opening a can of pre-made coffee and just adding his own ice. As long as he spends some part of his morning at some point making himself coffee and checking up whatever news he missed while he was asleep.

At night before bed he has a skincare/haircare routine. He's an idol after all, if people are going to look at him, he needs to make sure both his skin and hair is presentable. He'd shower and spend like 30 minutes with a handful of products for his gorgeous long hair and almost spotless face. I'd like to think he'd be the kind to listen to mixes from other producers he looks up to while he does all of this. If he spends 30 minutes of meditation to prepare for the work day then his beauty routine before bed is his 30 minutes of winding down before bed <3

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

Chat writes the plot! Time for more 👑🐲🐟 KotD!

Want to be on the tag list? Have an idea for next chapter? Clicked the wrong option? Reblog or Comment with 'tag me'! New? Check the very bottom for the Ao3 link. Latest chapter is below the cut!🔥

~King of the Dragonfish: Chapter 9~

Obi-Wan watches the end of Maul's translucent fins disappear beneath the water line, and scrubs a hand down his face. The jedi turns away, and plops down in a mediation pose next to the magma ball.

He hadn't quite realized the extent of it before, but the sith's mind was not… whole.

It had come out in the dips and flows of conversation. In questions about concepts that were common knowledge. Odd moments where yellow eyes would twitch off to the side, or stare into the distance. He expected any sith to be a little crazy, driven halfway to madness by the darkside itself, yes, but... this was something more.

Maul the dragonfish was a very different man from the unblinking, uncompromising apprentice he'd faced at Theed. Was it the… transformation? Was this clever, curious mind underneath the expressionless assassin all along? Was the sharp wit and quick tongue natural, or new? Obi-Wan didn't think he'd ever find out for sure.

And none of that really changed his most startling realization yet: that Maul was strangely good company when he wasn't being psychotic.

All the kidnapping and such aside, Obi-Wan hadn't… he hadn't played like a youngling tussling on the floor for the fun of it in... years? Hadn't curled up with someone to sleep next to since… well. It has been a bit. Bless him, but Anakin is a handful. Adults-only time for training and private pursuits had perhaps not been as common as they should have been these past six years.

It did not help that being on-world and free at the same time as his usual partners for casual assignations simply didn't happen enough for his, ah… tastes. Bant was a prodigious, in-demand healer, and Kit was always hairing off on another adventure.

Actually, the dry spell might explain why he couldn't stop wondering about…

More importantly, it didn't help that for being the prisoner of an evil, insane sith, Obi-Wan finds himself ever more comfortable. That was surely a bad sign. There was some sort of prisoner psychology thing… stackhold or some such? Yes, his experience was probably being colored by that.

He finds himself a bit concerned that such a thing could set in so quickly. His stay at the bottom of the sea thus far was measured in days, not weeks or months. Was his mind prone to the… stackholding?

Obi-Wan regrets not taking more psychology classes as a knight.

The jedi master hums, leaning closer to the black stone to soak up it's radiant heat.

“I need to stop enjoying myself when he picks on me,” he tells himself. “He's being a bully, and just because I like it doesn't mean it's okay to encourage him.”

Obi-Wan resolves to stop rising to provocation.

“I need to stop responding with humorous rejoinders when he is being a smart ass,” he affirms as well. “It only provides him openings to be entertaining and establish… rapport, and rapport leads to regard, which leads to…”

He resolves to be more bland in conversation.

“I must find a way to free myself. Anakin needs me. My duty is to the order, and to the people of the galaxy at large,” he states the obvious. "Though Maul seems... really quite lonesome, actually. Hmm."

His meditative self reflection continues, turning over those thoughts.

Yes he needed to go home, and to go home he needed to escape… but how? Plan Aurek had been a supreme failure.

Obi-Wan knew of a fair few animals, had connected with hundreds of different species in his lifetime… but rarely did he encounter one that was capable of prevaricating. The octopus he had called for aid had come… but it had been sentient enough to lie. To cunningly send him feelings of curiosity and friendliness under false pretenses.

The gorogoro had betrayed him. It had died horribly for it, but that was no comfort.

Obi-Wan sighs. That really had not been a good result for anyone. He still needs help though. Down, over, that way, something like a hundred yards off, he could feel the faint twinkle of his kyber. He assumes -hopes really- that his rebreather is there too.

With a heavy heart, he reaches out into the seas with the force, very careful to avoid the nexus of darkside that is Maul, and the glimmer of other gorogoro. He does not want a repeat of the previous situation, but he will not simply give up.

‘Hello?’ Obi-Wan calls, in feelings instead of words.

‘I’m friendly. I'm safe. I need help,’ he sends.

His gentle energy reaches plenty of creatures, but nothing so dexterous or intelligent as an octopus. Little fish swarm by the water’s edge, excited enough to make little plips and plonks of noise. They can't help him, but the sweetness is heartening nonetheless.

After a little while he gives up. Nothing else with enough force signature to be large or smart was nearby at the moment, but surely something with potential would happen by at some point?

What he does not sense, because it is impossible and so he is not paying attention, is the panicking flare of his padawan’s force bond. Thirteen some odd sectors away, his tiny call for help had been heard by a fifteen year old. One who had been worrying and wondering where his beloved master was.

🔥🔥 don't forget to reblog tysm! 🔥🔥

-Tag list- (Comment if you want added!)

@obimaulartfire @savageopressbignaturals @icequeen8043 @moonsickvampire @maulish

New? Start from Chapter 1! 👇🏽

[voidendron]

thanks to a game of CAH with the guild

I can't stop thinking of Synnda and his relationship with the Force - specifically with his dark side corruption brought on by the shielding technique

and since all of my previous ramblings about it are either old, or Tumblr's dumb search issues are burying them so I can't find them again, I'm writing a new one dang it

and like. he hides his emotions well! intentionally or not, people have a hard time reading him!

and yet he was Very Obviously Distressed when he noticed orange creeping into his irises, and the way the skin around his eyes just looked. sickly, almost. more purple-y/gray than it should have been, prominent veins?? he looked Sith!! it was distressing!!

but he swallowed his panic and just. kept protecting the affected Masters. even as it made the corruption look worse. even as it... well. we'll get into it shortly.

he didn't want anyone to worry. he knew Lina, and Nadia, and the rest of his crew were concerned for his health, with the way he was So Obviously Weak and Sick from the shielding

he started wearing masks to soften his face. he noticed that, hey, hiding his "resting bitch face" really helped soften his eyes, people weren't as intimidated when it was Just His Eyes they were seeing, rather than the frown and sharp teeth. even the Council was. unsure, what to think, as his eyes seemed brighter, more predatory; as the veins around them stood out as if the corruption was in his very blood

Synnda tried, harder than most, to follow the light. because he knew - he knew - that if he was to fall... well. taking that dark side plague into himself to protect so many others really opened him up to the dark side itself.

it whispers where he can just barely hear it over the buzz of conversation

it coaxes, when it thinks he's not paying attention

but he's a stubborn one, he is.

he meditates, visits places pure in the Force, doesn't let his emotions, nor the impulses they may try to cause, get the better of him

Yavin was the first time he really, truly, had to fight against the corruption. it was too dark there. too loud. too manipulative. it was so hard not to reach out to the spirits that wandered that moon, to request their presence, to speak with them. he knew it could only end poorly, but...

the temptation was there. and it was strong. and he had to do everything in his power not to rend Revan limb-from-limb when they finally came face-to-face.

he was still the one to break her nose. to fracture ribs. to throw her against the nearest wall and come within inches of crushing her lungs with the very air within them. as the whispers of the moon grew overwhelming and he needed to leave dammit

no one confronted him for it. thought the injuries Revan sustained before her death were merely...self-defense. right? no one knew of the internal conflict that the Barsen'thor faced, that one of the most softspoken Jedi in the Order, one of the most gentle, was constantly at war with his own virtues

and then came the Alliance. the Star Fortress... "incident," we'll call it.

for the first time in his life, through constantly shoving away the unwanted urge to touch on the dark side,

he finally used it willingly. it wasn't just. a little more violence than he'd normally use like what happened with Revan. it genuinely reached into the darkest depths of the Force that he could grab in an unsteady chokehold

he would feel guilt for it the rest of his life, even as he reasoned that it was a necessary evil to end Zar Draya then and there before she could cause any more suffering to Alderaan.

the only witness: his own conscious, the soon-to-be-destroyed cameras of the Fortress, Exarch Draya... and Darth Nox. his partner in the mission. a rival for so long, but now an ally

and Nox won't talk about what happened that day. not to anyone. not Synnda, who couldn't even look him in the eyes as they fled the Fortress that tore itself apart

Synnda gave in to the urge to touch on the dark side that day. he crushed Draya with her own armor, crumpled the very platform she stood on around her even as she choked on her own blood, before dropping her into the unstable sun reactor as her heart still beat in her chest. Nox felt as though he were suffocating, the air around the pair thick with... well. he was used to the dark side. so why did it feel so frightening when this Jedi used it? why did it feel as though, had he followed a different path, had he chosen to willingly use the dark side of the Force... why did it feel that it would have been a terrible thing for the galaxy?

because, well. let's keep in mind that he's Still Holding Onto The Plague. it's still very much there! he's just keeping a Really Stubborn Hold On It! and it's why he needed to teach his students the shielding technique! because he has No Idea if it'll just be re-released when he dies, so someone needs to be ready to hold onto it again when he's gone! but he's Not gonna make a single person Ever go through what he's living most of his life holding onto. it's terrible! it's stressful! it's probably why his hearts fail to kill him eventually! so five holding onto it is far better than one!

and maybe, he hopes, they won't have to deal with the dark side whispering to them all their lives if they can share the burden

[reflections-of-mobius]

@familylightfox asked:

🎲 for Node and Bless. From Volt.

[Kiss Roulette! | Accepting!]

Number Generated: 16.) A kiss in the rain.

Under a cut because stars, I took this and ran.

[]

"..just gotta...get through another day." Node chuckled softly. Their eyes were downcast, ears pricked for the tell-tale sounds of breathing nearby. They'd begun to smell petrichor a few minutes ago- one of the reasons they'd meandered outside, beyond joining the others in the garden. Their absence hit them especially hard, these days.

They tried not to think about it- but they'd gone missing from Volt's life, so soon after his encounter with the mad doctor...and it hurt Node to consider that they'd never visited- rarely wrote letters- and then, when they came back into the hybrid's life....their own world had fallen under a crisis.

Their hand shifted almost imperceptibly, dropping from its subconscious hanging spot around the mass of burnt skin. Ever since that day...the thought they'd abandoned Volt when he had been in pain- when he had been recovering- struck them quite harshly. 'Rebuilding their Mobius' felt more and more like an excuse. They'd been able-bodied, even if exhausted..

And now here they were, injured, recovering...and hiding at the hybrid's inn, as if they had the right.

"You're tellin' me...! I can't wait until I can stretch my legs properly again." Bless kicked his legs out for emphasis, on the other side of Volt- eliciting a soft snicker from the hedgefox. The hedgehog grinned, grateful to at least get a smile out of one of his partners. "I mean, bedrest is nice n' all...but lounging all the time? Ahgggggg..."

The speed demon was accustomed to the wind- to racing and running and surging over hills and blurring by cities...this... 'Resting' business was more trouble than it was worth- but he wasn't about to risk aggravating his injury mid-run. A few shoots of grass had begun to quiver in response to the mobian's anxiousness, though he didn't seem to notice as he turned his head towards Volt.

"Can we at least work on the kinesis stuff?" For someone who did yoga and meditated every day...he was still quite impatient- perhaps a trademark for him, since time passed far slower for Bless compared to his allies.

They could feel the first drop as it splashed against their head. Node breathed in, trying to calm their heart as it ticked up a beat. Bless and Node had been there for Volt for a time, sure- but they hadn't been there for months. Compounded with the current situation, the fox felt they were a burden- to both their partners.

"Cause sometimes, when I walk around outside, dandelions sprout up- it's the craziest thing, V." Bless continued his slight-ramble, seemingly unperturbed by the drizzle. Node was sure when they all went back inside, they'd be soaked through- which wasn't ideal, since the weather was beginning to get colder in the fall months. The fox's hand finally found the metallic edge they'd been searching for- fingers intertwining around Volt's prosthetic.

They didn't speak, letting Bless continue his momentary barrage as the rain continued to fall. Despite that...despite them vanishing for months, Volt had still come to the two's aid...he'd helped them- fought for them- literally took a bullet for them- despite the unintended disappearance.

They pulled Volt's prosthetic slightly, resting their head against the now-wet metal as the drizzle began to grow heavier. Node didn't dare look the hybrid's way- though they'd heard Bless let out a confused hum.

"...thank you." Their voice was barely a murmur under the gentle patter of rain. Volt...Bless....what would they do without both of them? The fox slowly shifted- until they were no longer sitting on the rock beside their boyfriends, but instead standing- just tall enough to reach both's faces with their own. They'd let go of Volt's cybernetic by then.

The males had gone quiet, violet hues flickering with gentle mirth and curiosity as emerald flashed with knowing.

"....thank you....so much...." The past was the past...and while it would take Node time to come to terms with everything- their injury, Bless' near-death, Volt's kidnapping, them and Bless disappearing from the hybrid's life for months...they were here now. A bit more roughed up than before, but Volt hadn't greeted them with anger, now had he? It had been open arms, as Bless had figured- and even though the timing was horrible...they'd all made it through the Backstory Event okay. And at the end of the day- wasn't it enough to just be alive, to have each other after all that?

They may have been gone for a time- but that meant they weren't going to waste a single second, anymore. A hand moved, softly caressing each mobian's cheek- Node didn't wait for the emotion burning in their chest to fizzle out before gently pulling Volt into a kiss- pressing their lips against the hybrid's, praying they could somehow communicate their gratitude to their partner. Gratefulness that he was alive- that he was there.

"How come V gets the first kiss?" Bless' question caused Node to chuckle, finally separating from the hedgefox, hazel hues flickering with a faint light that had been missing ever since they'd all come back from fighting Eggdata.

"C'mere, genius." Node caught Bless in a kiss next- just as long as the one given to Volt, though interspersed with giggles. The hedgehog was always so impatient...even at the best of times, it was one of his weak suits.

They finally pulled away- a hand extended to each of their beloveds. Their fur was a hint wet, but the rain was getting heavier.

"...anyone up for a snuggle, inside?" Their question was full of gentle laughter, eyes closing for a moment as Node smiled.

"Of course, love." Volt's words made Node's heart feel light, but not as much as the sensation that came after- two hands, one in each of their's...as the rain continued to patter, and the trio made their way inside.

Thank you both- for everything.

[kimothyroll]

Day 3

Day Total: +6 Theoretical, -1 Spark point, +3 Practical, +1 spark point

The Emperor

Today started off with another Group task. I was dreading it after the disaster that was 2 days ago. I knew that I couldn't have another meltdown, even though I know that Celestia would be right by my side again. This time I took charge in leading the task. Whilst my decisive leadership earned me respect, it also created strains within the team. The assertiveness required inadvertently led to moments of tension and differing opinions among the members, highlighting the delicate balance between authority and collaboration.

Overall it was a positive experience, and I'm proud of myself for how I managed it, but I can tell I will need to ensure I keep up my resilience as we continue throughout the term!

+1 Theoretical, -1 Spark point

Knight of Swords

 It was time to take part in my first duel today. To say I was bricking it would be an understatement. This was different to duelling with my friends. This meant something I needed to prove myself. To prove I was worthy of being here. We got to chose our duelling partners. For some reason Oberon immediately said he'd duel me. I can't work that boy out still. What was his thought process?

Draw 1:

M: The Star- no effect- redraw Ten of Swords- 10

O: Ten of wands- 10

Outcome: no elemental advantage. 10 v 10 Drawn Battle +1 spark

How interesting that we should both start on equal footing. I fully expected Oberon to come at me all guns blazing. Maybe he's trying to mislead me into relaxing. I am not so easily fooled.

Draw 2:

M: Temperance- all elemental strengths gained- redraw Knight of cups-  14

O: Two of Swords- 2

Outcome: no elemental advantage. 12 v 2 WIN

Ok so maybe I went in a bit too hard, I won this round, but he barely tried. I almost wondered if he'd let me win, but then I saw a spark flash in his eyes. As I study him I realise, wasn't danger I saw it was challenge, amusement, and, dare I say it, excitement. I don't think he expected that from me. I've not seen him this animated before? Does he see me as an equal? An actual challenge? I need to be ready to bring my A game in this final round, because he sure as hell will.

Draw 3:

M: The Hermit- strategic pause- redraw The Hanged Man- disadvantaged element would be neutral- knight of pentacles - 14

O:  Strength- plus 4- redraw Eight of Wands- 12

Outcome: no elemental strengths gained. 14 v 12 WIN

I don't know how, but I won. I actually won. I can't read Oberon's thoughts on this. His words portray that he is impressed, and that he is surprised I won, but not in a condescending way, no, it sounds like respect. His face on the other hand, I don't recognise the expression, he doesn't seem mad, or frustrated, yet it doesn't match his words. He looks almost…neutral. I don't know what that means.

 +3 Practical

Ace of wands

After the duel it feels like a whole day has passed, but I still have more lessons. At least I'm back to what I know. In my elemental magic class, I showcase my exceptional skills by seamlessly melding multiple elemental forces into a harmonious display of magical prowess. Drawing inspiration from the recent duel with Oberon, I infuse my spells with a newfound confidence and creativity. My control over the elements is masterful, weaving them together in intricate patterns that captivate both my classmates and professors.

+2 Theoretical

Ace of cups

While I typically avoid solitary contemplation, today's events make me appreciate the tranquility. The evening is splendidly balmy, reminiscent of those summer nights in Tranmere. As the sun dips below the horizon, the sky paints itself in breathtaking hues. Embracing the beauty, I wander the grounds, reflecting on the actions of the day during a peaceful meditation.

As I find myself immersed in reflection, my thoughts gravitate towards a pivotal decision from my past – the moment I chose the path leading me to The Midnight Court. Initially shrouded in uncertainty, that decision now stands as a beacon of transformation and growth. The challenges and triumphs within these enchanted halls have become integral to my magical journey.

The hesitations that once accompanied that decision have evolved into a profound gratitude for the opportunities, friendships, and self-discovery that unfolded at The Midnight Court. What was once a daunting choice now feels like a defining and positive chapter in my magical odyssey. Looking back, I feel a deep sense of fulfillment and appreciation for the transformative journey set in motion by that crucial decision.

+1 Theoretical

Ten of cups

As I continue to stroll through the enchanting grounds, I take a moment to consider and evaluate the remarkable growth I've experienced since joining The Midnight Court. It's almost surreal to realize that only three days have passed. The familiarity of the school already feels as if it has been a part of my life for years. In this short span, I've witnessed a profound expansion of my magical knowledge, honed my skills in various disciplines, and forged connections with fellow students. The challenges faced, lessons learned, and the camaraderie established have accelerated my understanding of the mystical arts. The once unfamiliar terrain of The Midnight Court has become a second home, and the transformation within me is a testament to the rich and immersive experiences packed into these brief three days.

+2 Theoretical

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

It's been a long time comiiiing down this rooaaddd. I haven't updated this foreverrr, but I'm doing it nooooooowww! 🎤🎵🎶

Part 23: Movement

"I hope I don't have to jump up here," you sigh gripping the pole to test its sturdiness. It seems strong enough, but then so does the hardwood floor. "I don't have the upper body strength to hold myself up and I definitely don't need to bust my ass in these slippery socks--what," you smile watching Toni bite her lip at your skepticism from Ava's other side.

"Nothing. You have a lot of cushion, you'll bounce back," she gestures eyeing your rear. She's joking but you're serious.

"I'm just saying socks on hardwood with jumping if you're uncoordinated seems like a recipe for disaster."

"You get used to it, stick with us," Ava comforts. Stick with us.. It echoes in your mind. They actually want you there.. continuously.

A small group of women in variety of shapes and sizes, mostly black, gradually takes the remaining poles as the mingling conversations rise. It's a comfortable environment. The sun streams in through the windows bringing in nice natural light. Adjusting the band on your sports bra, you hop but neglect to wrap the pole with your legs. Toni chuckles in good humor.

"Ugh.. I don't know about this you guys."

"It's just a workout, girl, you'll be fine," she waves. "Besides, your NOT sugar daddy will love it when you show him all that assss in motion."

"Oh my God, he's NOT a sugar daddy," you whisper as she mocks you. "Y'all are so aggravating."

"That smile says different.. Just remember to tell me all the nasty gritty details when you throw it back with these moves. Yo' ass got handled before," her nude nails clink against the pole judgingly. They'd lost their minds when you told them about that night in the hotel. You had to tell the story twice because they wanted to visualize it. "He did whatever he wanted to do to that kitty, beat it to high hell. Now YOU are gonna have the power to put it on him. That fatass bunda gone kill him, just wait on it."

Watching your wagon in the full length studio wall mirror you grip the pole to make it wiggle watching it move on your reflection. "I don't know, see, I can move it I just can't move it seductively. I'm kinda stiff."

"She ain't ready for all that yet, Toni, let her take it slow. She can't just jump out there, class ain't even start yet," Ava laughs. "She need the basics."

"I need to learn how to dance," you interject. "Like lap dance and all that jazz.."

"That's simple," a woman's voice cuts in demanding the focus of the room of women who seem to recognize her on entry. Casually, you spin to meet a pair of long toned legs like a gazelle building up to a slender curved shape to be envied.. covered in glowing rich brown skin..

This can't be real, you blink as your mind whisks you back to the fateful day of your meeting each other. The memory is fresh as if it were yesterday.

“What’s your name,” she murmurs, voice as addictive as Erik's. You glance at him and he shrugs leaving the decision of how to respond up to you. When you answer, she recites your name like a poem and you smile. She has a calming effect that puts you at ease and she’s so, so beautiful. She tells you you’re the beautiful one and it makes your face heat. Her fingers lightly brush the warmth of your cheek before moving to her own erect nipples tweaking the silver bars.

“You wanna touch them?” She asks while stepping closer and she reaches out for your hand to pull it to her breast. Your eyes nervously flit to Erik’s and he doesn’t intervene. Not knowing quite what to do you tweak the silver bar and she sighs in pleasure. She moves your other hand to her other breast encouraging you to do the same. Her fingers find your chin again and then she’s close, lips coming in hot. You close your eyes.

Those eyes..

Her black lined cat eyes lock onto yours echoing your shock with a thick and strange energy. She's just as shook seeing you yet she never loses the graceful glide in her step to her teaching pole, glancing evenly from you and squaring her gaze to cover the class.

"Well damn," Ava blurts reading the thoughts of the room as the instructor flips her long high pony of burgundy locs. An exhale is all you muster as your brain thinks of several ways this could end badly.

"Hello my SugarDoll Fitness family," Shay waves to the group in a motion ending with her hand perched cutely nder her chin. It gains an equal positive return from the class.

Smiling just to fit in you look around and nod politely wondering what excuse you could make to Toni and Ava if you leave, especially after Ava just invited you to 'stick with' them. Would the truth suffice or would it bring more unnecessary drama and questions?

Toni and Ava would have a field day if they knew the real nature of your relationship with Erik and Ms. Shay. Last you remember, Shay's pierced nipples were in your between your fingertips. She wanted to devour you whole according to Erik. You haven't even told them you were in the BDSM life yet. They don't even know about the submission thing between you and Erik, they're still stuck on sugar daddy.. It's not something you wanted to share.

That's not something to bring up in this setting..

The way Shay looked at you back then made you feel like she was a starved tigress and you were the live prey, but somehow you were comfortable. She was intense but not intimidating... unlike Erik who initially made you so nervous you couldn't relax. No, she wasn't like that.. It felt more like she was wise beyond her years, but very playful and mischievous.. You'd liked her energy.

Then Erik went and cut her off because of his insane jealousy which was great in the sense that it was one step closer to being his only partner, but dumb in the way that it came about. It's one of his flaws. Erik needs to put his jealousy in check before he does something too impulsive to reverse or gets his feelings hurt.

If he'd never taken you to her home, they'd still have their BDSM dynamic, which brings up the issue of blame. Was it your fault? Does she blame you? Does she even care or miss the man?They seemed to pair well despite his gripes that she was troublesome.

Funny... You'd think he'd love a troublesome woman. He say he like spice and Shay had that with the experience to match, so then why choose you? Why not her over you or her and you? He could've made it work. Something about her being too dominant seems like a copout for him, looking back..

"I see some familiar faces. Faith.. Nicki.. Lynn.. Janell.." Her ruby red lips part in a smile and there's something about the simplest of her motions. Everything is a subtle demand for power.. "I see a lot of new faces too," her eyes roll down the line to yours, lingering briefly like she wants to say much more. Her eyes lower for the briefest of moments and where you anticipated malice, there seems to be none. There's something on her mind instead. 

"You good," Ava nudges your side in question. You flinch slightly but nod. There's something Shay wants to get out but she can't with everyone else present.

"I want us to get to know each other in here as women. We all have our reasons for being here.. Let's go around the room. I'll start," Shay announces with a slow walk to her right, a natural sway to her hips. "As some of you may know, my name is Shayla Berry, Shay for short aka SugarDoll. Yes, I am an exotic dancer. Yes, I am a dominatrix," her eyes roll playfully. "I also paint by trade and teach pole fitness. I am a multifaceted business woman with a flare for the artistic," her black painted fingers flare. "I meditated on having my own successful studio and then I manifested it to reality when I rented this place a few months ago and baby when I tell you the law of attraction works, I am flourishing."

She gestures to her right and the introductions begin from the repeat students as well as the new. There's a teacher and a nurse present. Everyone's common goal seems to boil down to exploring their sensuality while having fun with dance and getting in a good workout.  Then there's Toni. She's a traveler, which you knew. She likes to shop and eat. What you didn't know was that she is also a pilot and works 100 hours a week max. As for Ava, you knew she was originally from the ATL and lived a sugar baby life, but you did not know that she was raised amongst strippers and that she's also an audiologist. She had to explain to the class what an audiologist was.

"And you?" Shay's fiery eyes focus in as she takes a half step towards you.

"Y/N," you say as if she doesn't already know. She knows more than Toni and Ava, she saw your whole coochie for the sake of giving you a biology lesson. Embarrassing.. "I'm from Cali.. born and raised. I don't travel that often, but I'd love to go to Europe.. I love movies, it's really all I do.. watch movies, sleep, and work.. I work in cybersecurity."

"You prevent hackers?" Ava's neck cranes and you nod as she gives a look of approval.

"This is probably messed up," you pause as she and Toni both look up, "But I don't know why I assumed you two were spending men's money in the mall when we met," you whisper feeling superficial. Just because they're universally gorgeous like celebrities doesn't mean they aren't successful outside of that and able to afford the finer things on their own accord. You can do both.

"..We were," Ava shrugs simply. "My money stay in my savings.. I haven't paid a bill with my own money in two years."

"Work smarter not harder babe," Toni smirks. "You oughtta know."

"That's just it, I don't know because that's not something I've experienced because Erik and I are friends with benefits..," you sigh. "A lot of benefits..."

When introductions wrap up, the lesson starts and Shay jumps right into it with terminology foreign to you.

"This is a mixed pole fitness class.. So go ahead and face your poles, we're going to start with some body rolls. Hands low on the pole like so," she demonstrates. "Roll it out." Her body waves in a fluid S motion. "Chest, abs, hips... Chest, abs, hips.. Let it roll, smoothly down to the floor and up. Y/N, get on your tiptoes, baby. Lexi, get your arms involved. Stick that ass out, don't be scared.. Perfect. I'm watching all of y'all," she says pointedly. "..Again."

You watch and try your best to duplicate, your S moreso a stiff Z and she switches her hand position to the top of her pole.

"Now we're gonna walk around and this helps loosen the joints. Think tight and tall as you stride around the pole on those toes. I don't want any flat feet. Keep on your imaginary heels, Y/N," he blinks your way. "Now stop on the side and circle those hips." Her hips rotate as though they're on a swivel.

When you look to Toni and Ava, they're already moving like pros which tells you they do this often. They travel together, shop together, share life, and take classes like this together. They're already extremely close. It's surprising they'd think to invite you into their circle..

"Outside arm and leg sweeps back, across the floor, sweep out and back."

"Like you're swimming," someone adds.

"Exactly, like you're swimming. Next move, grab that knee, pull it up and out, soft hands, open that chest, roll it back... same leg flick the toe and kick forward."

"I can't go that high," the same woman from before says."

"That's fine, go to where you're comfortable. Lunge back same leg.. and we're going to repeat the process with the other leg."

The routine goes on minutes more until she gets to a pirouette which is a more familiar term. Unfortunately, that's followed by slow pushups which, of course, doesn't happen. Toni uses her knees, but Ava does the full set of pushups. She's the only one.

"Showoff," Toni mutters.

The next moves require a lot of knee pivoting and borderline twerking in slow motion. You feel the workout in your thighs, your knees, your abs, and your back. It's only been fifteen minutes out of the hour and you're stopping for water. Some of the motions have been easy to grasp, but some have been frustrating. It's only my first time, you remind yourself.

Thirty minutes in, you've developed an idea of how to move and what to incorporate into your sex life.. when it revives. Putting the moves together into a routine is the current issue.

"I could do some of this," you say to Ava. "I just wish I could borrow some of your core strength."

"You'll get it with time, stay consistent. I'm holding you to it."

"Y/N," Shay calls out as she body rolls and raises her leg high. "What's this about you not knowing how to dance, mama?"

"Huh," I pause standing straight. She remembered. "Well I can dance. I can do the nae nae and the little tiktok dances, but this..," I gesture to the pole. "This is a different story. I guess I'm not the seductive type."

"Have you ever had sex?"

The question cuts and you feel all eyes glued on you. She must know that you and Erik have already.. on multiple occasions...

"....Of course."

"Then... you're the seductive type," she says simply. "Dance is a style of communication. It's about movement and seduction." She comes close and her finger gently snakes your collarbone as she circles you, standing directly behind, her slim hands on your waist.

"We really need to talk.. later," she whispers quietly in your ear. Her hips line up with yours, her center against your ass, and she winds. "If you can walk, you can dance, Y/N. If you can dance, the seduction is that much easier.." This time her words are addressed to the class. Her hips guide yours against the pole as she grinds against it through you. "Follow my rhythm."

You move exactly as you feel her move, in a groove, and after a few moments when you've perfected the body roll she backs up. When you do it on your own in the mirror, you have the S shape down pact.

"That's it, I'm coming back," you smile at the pole. At the end of class you're sore and tired but excited to have picked up some tricks. Meeting Shay's eye, you excuse yourself briefly from Ava and Tony with the excuse of asking about her paintings. "Shay," you whisper once you're close and she leads you out of the space.. far.. all the way outside before she looks around. There's no one standing out nearby, only well groomed trees and sidewalk with some grass and a parking lot.

"How have you been," is the first thing she asks as if she's truly concerned. Her eyes convey a lot.

"Why?.. I'm good," you stare echoing her strange expression. She's having a tough time saying what she wants to say.. she's pausing a lot, hesitating.

"Shay, what's wrong.. I get the feeling you want to tell me something but you're conflicted. I swear I won't run tell Erik.. whatever it is.."

"You're still with him," her brows rise in shock. "Okay so he was serious.. Did he ever mention.. anything about, um.. our last meeting together?"

"You guys had sex one last time, I know about it."

She takes a deep unsteady breath and instantly I know there's more to the story than what he said. She looks around again as if she's nervous.

"He didn't mention anything about.. himself?... As far as what he does...?"

"Hm? Well, yeah, he told me he does the video game thing. We just went to Texas-"

"That's-," she pauses with her mouth wide as if she's deeply confused. "Um.. you know what. Just... be careful okay? Take care of yourself."

"What?" Of all the random things to say. "What are you talking about? Wait," you grab her shoulder as she's walking off. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something about him and I wish you'd just spit it out.."

"Well look at you, definitely got bolder," her eyes flick up and down you. "Actually, it's nothing.. I just wanted to check on you.. make sure you were doing alright, that's all," she smiles, but it doesn't touch her eyes. "I'm going back inside to make sure no one has any further questions for me."

Letting her go, you watch her and something doesn't sit right. She wasn't telling you something and you don't know what that something is, but it's making your mind spin. Ava and Toni come out and walk toward you.

"She showed me one of the paintings in her car," you lie though you're not sure why, it just comes out and they accept it moving on. They have plans to get massages and you're invited there too. The three of you get the full body massage and it's relaxing after all that exercise. When you finally leave them and get to Erik's you OD on water, eat, shower, and watch TV upstairs until you pass out sleep.

The next day, they contact you on your lunch break and actually meet you for brunch, happy to see where you work. You have to apologize to Tanner for canceling lunch plans with him. He's so used to eating with you and vice versa. You've gotten used to looking into his pretty blue eyes. At least he gets to meet Toni and Ava briefly and they call him white chocolate which he eats up. You throw subliminals that maybe he and Toni should hook up but neither seem truly interested outside of surface good- natured flirting.

The following day after work is the beach. The three of you sunbathe while sharing stories about family and teen years. "This is the life," you jest laid back on your towel with your sunglasses on feeling warm and toasty. "I've been missing this. I need to meet more people to do things like this with, I get tired of sitting home alone."

"Aww. I don't wanna leave you here by yourself. I wish we didn't have to leave Cali or maybe you could come south with us," Toni says, but it's not realistic. They can afford to travel all the time but you have to work. When they do leave, you see them off.

-----

"I asked for chocolate," Erik grumbled laid out in his hospital bed six weeks into bed rest. They'd given him vanilla snack pack and he hated vanilla.

"Here you go," his nurse teased, used to his temper. "Stubborn ass.. I will personally bring you your chocolate pudding."

"Two.. and take this nasty one with you," he hudged it toward her. She laughed. 

"Baby you can eat all the chocolate pudding you want when you up outta here. You finally got the go ahead as long as you stay the fuck off that damn leg.. Don't kiss your teeth, you've been doing everything short of p90x up in here."

"I wasn't on my leg though, those were upper body workouts.."

"You still need to relax."

"Hell yeah.. soon as I get my pudding.."

She shook her head, amused. Erik knew that once he left she'd think of him still. She was pretty nice though, so maybe he'd think of her too.. just maybe. He thought of telling her the truth before leaving... Perhaps he'd be there if she ever needed someone permanently removed from her life at a discounted rate..

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