#i think my favorite has to be the shot of alicia caged in by the bed frame

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part four

In which Sarah Connor suffers for the cause in the most ironic way possible.

(one, two, three)

I've already waxed poetic elsewhere about the "My entire body is a weapon"/ "Save it for the ladies" exchange, but let's just say the Rev-9's claim of "Metal hip - two tours in Afghanistan" is a) a great manipulation, and b) might even be true - certainly the part about the metal hip is! And the "thank you for your service," / letting him pass through is just... the irony... I can't even...

(and also, this MAKES SENSE when you realize that Legion was designed to process people and manipulate/control them and THAT'S why he's so good at it).

Sarah Connor gets picked up by a smarmy dude named Officer Rigby. "You belong in your own private cage," he tells her. He's probably going to die soon, and we are not supposed to be sorry about it. (And meanwhile, some random dude yells in the background, "I want to go, too!" No, you don't. Trust me.)

Grace does not believe in bureaucratic bullshit. And she won't accept "detainees" instead of "prisoners". YASS. At least there's fresh meds for her.

Oh! I just realized why she steals the guy's clothes.. it's because nothing else would fit her. It's tough being so tall.

Grace pulls the fire alarm and Sarah recognizes an opening when she sees one and manages to kick Rigby in the groin and take him and both her guards down with both hands in cuffs behind her back. LEGEND. Kyle Reese would be so proud of her, especially since he pulled the same stunt back in T1 in the police station sequence. 

Grace starts opening doors and people rush to get out, oh please let this not be a slaughter.

The dude who was with them (Flacco?) slams the door into the Terminator's face and he gets punched into a wall for his trouble. I hope he survived...

The Rev-9 jumps UP into the rafters, holy shit, and is scrabbling over the metal fence like the Rev-7s in the future scene, and it's so a) predatory and b) so feral and inhuman... and that guard who sassed Dani looks terrified as hell as she faces him down.. and gets slashed for her troubles.

Slaughter ensues, but only people in official uniforms thus far... Every one of them is mobbing the Rev-9 and just getting stabbed.

Oh, good, they found a helicopter. Someone gets punched out the door after them, and you think it's the REv-9 who did it, but it's actually Sarah! YASS. Dani wants to wait for her and Grace wants to get away. Dani doesn't want to leave Sarah (hey, callbacks to earlier!) and jumps out of the helicopter with the gun as the REV-9 runs at her. Dani starts shooting the REV-9 which is very cathartic for her, but Sarah tackles her and pulls her into the helicopter. The REV-9 jumps for it, but misses, and falls the ground and just looks... annoyed despite having no expression whatsoever.

The REV-9's accent with the sheriffs is interesting. There's the same "good ol' boy" attitude as "That's a nice bike" in T2 and the same cut back to our heroes that speaks volumes.

Cut to a forest in Texas. I have no idea if this is botanically accurate or not because I have no experience with Texas flora. But there are pine trees and maple trees, I can tell you that much.

I like how Sarah and Grace are ready to draw when they knock on the door of this ordinary-looking house in the woods, and Dani just looks at them like they're crazy.

Hey, and it's the same music as in the prologue, as Sarah recognizes the Terminator! He says her name and she raises her gun to shoot him except that Grace intervenes and she hits the ceiling.

“My name is Sarah Connor, you killed my son, prepare to die...” No, okay, she doesn’t actually say that, but I’m gonna do it for her.

Sarah stalks off when they won't let her shoot the Terminator. Dani and Grace exchange a look, and Dani goes after Sarah while Grace deals with Carl (his nom de... paix, I guess). They have the ... "So you're a cyborg, too?" talk, which goes about as well as you can expect.

Poor Sarah looks so broken sitting outside alone. Dani uses her people skills to rally her. Sarah's admission that she never took photos of John is a) heartbreaking, and b) good tactics, especially given how previous Terminators used photos, and how the REV-9 uses facial recognition software.

Sarah's sarcasm as she contemplates Carl's family photos is biting and hilarious and poignant especially given what she just said to Dani (and how a photograph was what brought Kyle to her in the first place). MY HEART.

We are meant to parallel Carl's treatment of Alicia and Mateo with Sarah and John, and Sarah and Carl in "Without purpose, we are nothing". The irony that Carl understands Sarah in this way, and that Sarah has been getting her raison d’etre from a Terminator the whole time... way to lay on the pain, writers!

I've heard a lot of critique of this film claiming that Terminators just wouldn't act like Carl, and I think that's not accurate. What exactly do people think a Terminator WOULD do after they finished their mission instad? It's not like Skynet or Legion or whatever gave them any other programming, and we know from T2 they can't self-terminate. So what are they supposed to do, just stand there??

Even though Carl doesn't have his chip removed the way the T-800 in T2 did, Terminators are very accomplished at learning and mimicking humans. They are adaptable. And I think the filmmakers are right that the T-800 would try to find a new mission--paralleling the old one--to give his life purpose. I think this is a very plausible plot device, and also a great opportunity for irony and parallels, which this franchise thrives on and I personally love.

(There's great fic from Carl's POV on A03 by Tyellas that expands on this that I LOVE, so you should all go read it RIGHT NOW.)

I also LOVE the growing parallels not only between Sarah and Carl, but Carl and Grace that the film keeps emphasizing YASSS.

Sarah is NOT PLEASED to learn she's been manipulated the whole time by the robot who killed her son.Understatement of the year. I was wondering when she was going to shoot him!

"Do you believe in fate, Sarah?" OW, MY HEART.

Oh. Interesting. So when Sarah destroyed Skynet, she released Carl from his programming, thus allowing him to learn?? Okay, I'll buy it. Which means that Carl was released at the same time as the other Terminators in all three films (though we get into the simultaneity problem, but that's a headache for another time). It's plausible if I don't think too hard about it, so I'll buy it. I wish people would stop calling plot elements they don't like/agree with "plot holes". That's... not what it means.

[so who is sending the other terminators? Are they from Legion or Skynet? what is their purpose? Since Sarah is a wanted woman in America, it makes sense if she was killing Terminators in Mexico, which makes me wonder if she's been protecting Dani until now???) I have a feeling the film will not answer this question.]

There's a dog curled up at Carl's feet when they cut to the next scene. This is NOT a plot hole, as some people have claimed. This is actually a clue that Carl IS as human as he claims to be... i.e, he seems to have mastered whatever subtle cues that makes the dog recognize him as human, and not a foreign predator. Obviously, YMMV, but I don't see it as a plot hole.

The secret storage armory is de riguer for a Terminator film, but I also enjoy the deadpan social commentary about human barbarism coming from a reformed murderbot. "And also, this is Texas." He's definitely living in the right state for that.

Wow. The training lesson at the shooting range was everything I could have hoped for. I love Sarah's wry smile as the watermelons explode.

OF COURSE SARAH CONNOR "KNOWS A GUY" with an EMP, lol...

Kudos to Carl for getting his family out of the way and for preparing him for this day. But it's clear he won't be back.

... how about that leather jacket and sunglasses? because he's about to start being way less human and way more machine.

oHHHHH he leaves the sunglasses behind, I was NOT expecting that. NICE WORK.

hello rev-9 smashing the family photographs, that's not symbolic of anything at all.

Hey, did they take all the guns with them or is the REv-9 going to use them against their owner?? was leaving the photo of the van on the fridge intentional? Too early to tell! Either way, ironic given Sarah's caution with photos earlier!

Sarah's withering expression as Carl lectures about interior design is GOLDEN.

I now want a road trip movie about this dysfunctional found family. I cannot believe they are only together for less than 24 hours. Thank goodness for fic.

"I don't commit treason for just anybody," is such a great line and one of my favorites in this film.  

Of course the EMP is probably going to disable/take out Carl AND Grace AND the Rev-9 because that's just how this kind of movie works, but there you go.

Sarah telling Carl to shut the fuck up is GOLDEN, they work so well together. Mommy and Daddy, indeed.

AHHH, the major bringing them the EMP on the sly gets shot. It's tough being a minor character in these films. Dani pulls him into the van but I can't help but notice in that position he's a human shield.

Okay, so leaving photos on the fridge was NOT intentional... maybe Sarah should have had an op-sec chat with Carl about that??

Oh, hey, the flesh-like bit of the REV-9 jumped out of the copter while the chassis keeps flying. That's a neat trick. And the moment where the fleshy bit jumps in and they merge is always cool.

Okay, so they're going to the air base. I guess another fight is in order. Ah, this is where the planes are coming in. Apparently, Grace is piloting. That answers my question from the trailer.

They just run the van right up the ramp and the Major is there to take awkward questions. "District contractors" indeed. I hope he'll survive this movie, but I have my doubts. Oh, he's not going with them - I don't know if that increases his chances or not. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO HE AND SARAH HAVE ANYWAY??

They didn't bother to close up the back before taking off??? Wow. Okay, I guess that works...

Carl uses himself as a shield for Sarah, which just makes her mad...

The Rev-9 flips out of the burning helicopter onto the ramp, and Carl just takes him down and shoots him. It doesn't take, but it's pretty glorious. SARAH AND DANI ROLL THE VAN OVER HIM OH MY GOD.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure the Rev-9 will be back... in an EVEN BIGGER PLANE.

Oh, so the EMP is dead...? Maybe they can improvise something.

Flasback! Dani beats the punks that are harassing Grace and talks the last guy into not shooting her because "this is what Legion wants us to do". FUCK YEAH.

"FUCK FATE" is basically the motto of this series (and a slightly more concise, if vulgar, reframing of "no fate but what we make for ourselves" or "no fate" in T2).

OH MY GOD THAT LOOK ON FUTURE!DANI'S FACE WHEN SHE RECOGNIZES GRACE...

"You are the future" - okay, this is very moving and dramatic, but I feel like Grace should have mentioned this back on the TRAIN why the fuck did she wait this long.

"You're John..." Sarah gasps... and just adopted a kid. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, Y'ALL. Carl was right, she needs a purpose or else she’s just going to self-destruct.

YESSSSS, I love it when movies answer my questions: apparently future!Dani told Grace not to mention it earlier, because younger!Dani wouldn't be able to handle it. Ah, the ouroboros of causality... I'll buy it, but I still think the film would have been stronger if they had had this conversation earlier on the train.

plane vs. plane hijinks ensue. Grace puts the ship on autopilot so she can actually do stuff. There's a lot of flailing as the ship starts to explode. The REv-9 climbs aboard and uses his oozy bits to rip all the flesh off Carl's hand. There's a humvee with a parachute, but the way the scene is laid out, it's kinda convolunted, but okay.. ... They bust the door open so the humvee can drop out. Carl pins the chassis to the plane but the oozy bits escape and go running free towards them. The plane explodes seconds after the humvee pulls free and parachutes to the ground.... okay.

Sarah Connor's "Aw, fuck," as they land on the hydroelectric dam is GOLDEN.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #133

Fri Jul 26 2019 [11:31 PM] Wack'd: Anyway it's all guests this month as writer Gerry Conway and penciler Ramona Fradon step in for Thomas and Buscema [11:32 PM] Wack'd: Fradon is the first-ever lady Fantastic Four artist I'm pretty sure. And she'll hold the distinction of only female Fantastic Four artist for a stupid long time [11:32 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, enjoy her one issue while it lasts [11:32 PM] Aleph Null: how many years of timeline drift will it be before johnny was a fortnite teen [11:33 PM] Wack'd: Uh...probably another fifteen [11:33 PM] Aleph Null: franklin will never have the chance to be a fortnite teen F [11:34 PM] Wack'd: At least waitingforthet's prediction that Dani Cage would lap him didn't come true! [11:34 PM] Wack'd: Anyway [11:35 PM] Wack'd: Happy 1973! Have some depression

[11:36 PM] Wack'd: It's actually been 1973 for like four months now but other stuff was happening, just let them have this [11:36 PM] Aleph Null: isn’t “have some depression” always a new years mood [11:36 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm sure it was New Year's time when they first wrote this issue. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: i love these two so much

[11:37 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny's depressed about Crystal, Reed's depressed about Sue and Franklin, Ben's always depressed, and Alicia's sad for them, I take it Medusa's still shaken about the whole Omega thing? [11:37 PM] Bocaj: Scare quotes [11:38 PM] Wack'd: For all your reaction needs

[11:39 PM] Umbramatic: thanks for the exploitable! [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Reed: Don't try to cheer me up. [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Medusa: Okay, I won't. You're being an immature child and need to get over yourself. [11:40 PM] Umbramatic: vkj;gfbaajgftl'gbvg'snwhb [11:41 PM] Wack'd: 🎶You don't know you're beaut~i~ful🎵

[11:43 PM] Wack'd: 🎵 Broken glass / Is glittering like diamonds / Can't hear yourself / Thinking over the sirens! / Push back the hands of tiiiiiime 🎶

[11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Thundra, there's gotta be an easier way to get a guy's attention. [11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Maybe show up with Abomination around your arms or something, eh? [11:45 PM] Wack'd: If Ben wins, it'll be a rare sight--the home team winning on the Mets' turf!

[11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Zing [11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Hey, you think if the fight goes badly, he can tag in Mr. Met? [11:47 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny decides to go deal with Thundra and I love this idle background detail of ladies being into Johnny. It serves no narrative purpose besides going "hey, Johnny's hot and women like seeing him undress"

[11:48 PM] Wack'd: Usually, when Johnny has oglers it's a plot point--he's too depressed or busy to give them any mind and the fact that they're so preoccupied with him is played as a joke at their expense [11:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Or they're there to make Spider-Man jealous [11:49 PM] Wack'd: So this is kinda nice. Just letting it happen without it being a Thing [11:49 PM] Wack'd: ...I really can't capitalize that word in this context, can I [11:51 PM] Wack'd: A thing with Thundra so far has been that people keep assuming she's going to use a weapon for blunt force, only for her to prove she's a tactical thinker

[11:51 PM] Wack'd: (Or, at least, it's happened twice) [11:51 PM] Wack'd: I dig the contrast between her overwrought warrior-speak and her, like, actual material intelligence? It's a neat bit of character building [11:51 PM] maxwellelvis: She is seemingly based on Wonder Woman, I'd be disappointed if she didn't fight with her brains. [11:52 PM] Wack'd: I'll admit it, I laughed

[11:53 PM] maxwellelvis: I noticed Medusa doesn't take her mask of even for a night in Time's Square [11:54 PM] maxwellelvis: Nor does she ditch her primary color [11:54 PM] Wack'd: She doesn't! I mean, if you think about it, back home those are just her street clothes [11:54 PM] Wack'd: "They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future." [11:55 PM] Wack'd: Thundra if you wanna keep up your "applying male stereotypes to women and women stereotypes to men" shtick you really shoulda abducted Reed or Johnny

[11:55 PM] Wack'd: This is disappointingly straightforward of you [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Then again, Alicia is the only one in the party without superpowers. Necessity is the mother of shtick-breaking, I suppose [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Sorry, father [11:56 PM] Umbramatic: i continue to appreciate how much ben looks like a Muppet [11:57 PM] Wack'd: He's definitely got kind of a Henson thing going on around the mouth [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd kill for a Ben Grimm designed by the Creature Shop, honestly. [11:58 PM] maxwellelvis: Carl Ciarfalo's Thing suit could have been, were that movie not just a cheap way to maintain Roger Corman's hold on the property rights [12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Speaking of which, how sad is it that that's pretty much still the best Fantastic Four movie? [12:00 AM] Wack'd: Ben's physiology continues to astound me

[12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh hey, now I got a better look at Johnny's new duds, I remembered where I've seen them before [12:01 AM] Wack'd: They're patterned off the original Robot Human Torch [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: They're eventually going to be worn by Jim Hammond, yeah [12:01 AM] Wack'd: It has been pointed out [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: When he joins the Future Foundation. [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: and I take it he wore a similar getup when he was fighting the Nazis. [12:03 AM] Wack'd: It's weird that the city government is just cool with this lady not only setting up a wrestling match in a major metropolitan landmark but thousands of people turning up to watch. Is Shea selling *tickets* to this?

[12:04 AM] Wack'd: I think this might be my favorite full page spread so far

[12:04 AM] maxwellelvis: Hey, a show is a show [12:05 AM] maxwellelvis: Are you also just hearing Kimberly Brooks's voice with Thundra's dialogue? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: I'm really getting more of a Sharon Lawrence? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: Maxima from Superman: The Animated Series [12:07 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [12:09 AM] Wack'd:

[12:11 AM] Wack'd: “In retrospect, ‘uh-huh’ doesn’t seem nearly profane enough.” [12:11 AM] Wack'd: 🎵 All alone at the 64 World's Fair / Twenty dolls singing "small world after all" / Who was at the DuPont Pavilion? / Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there? 🎶

[12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: "I love paying to see a match on a TV!" -- Nobody in the crowd [12:12 AM] Wack'd: You joke, but we do get a reaction shot of someone complaining he paid 10 bucks for these seats [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: And somewhere a young Vince McMahon takes notes. [12:13 AM] maxwellelvis: If I were in one of the seats without a good view of the backboard, right about now's when I'd be starting up a "Can't See Shit! Can't See Shit!" chant [12:13 AM] Wack'd: So Ben basically gets his ass handed to him but refuses to tap out [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: This sounds familiar. [12:14 AM] Wack'd: Reed manages to fire a beam that'll turn Ben human enough *juuuuust* long enough for Thundra to feel cheated and piss off [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: Way to solve this problem in the worst way possible, Stretcho [12:16 AM] Wack'd: And so the issue ends with Thundra releasing Alicia and the remaining Frightful Four commiserating that their brilliant "kill Ben and Thundra at the same time by blowing up Shea Stadium" plan was a bust [12:20 AM] Wack'd: That was a fun issue! I thoroughly enjoyed it

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Drama Bomb”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan, John West

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

More drama for your mamas...and daughters.

The episode begins with the beginning of a school play based on the food pyramid from the 90's, with everyone dressed up as a food item. Not only do we see the return of Robin Snyder in a sort of voiced role, though we never quite get to hear just her voice, we get to see all of our favorite students. And by favorite students, I mean just Barry. Go, Barry, you spinning bowl of chicken noodle soup, you.

Unfortunately, the kid's talents are not showing here, as they're all painfully off-key. Even the last episode that focused on play's idea of Blossom and Jared being the main stars of Townsville Elementary's drama class has seemingly been thrown out, as at least Blossom gets an intentionally bad singing voice as well. Instead, it's Bubbles that's the big star, as she gets to properly sing the big ending song about how treats are good when they're part of a...something. She couldn't figure out the last word in her song, much to the joy of the drama teacher.

A Star Is Blossom still has to be canon, because this episode also features Ms. Moss, the drama teacher that just can't believe she's working with such children. The joke, of course, being that these children are, in fact, children. At least, most of them are obviously children, at least one of them are pretty questionable.

She at least has a good reason for this sudden bout of perfectionism: the stakes have changed. After Buttercup, who is in the play as a T-Bone steak, does the obvious joke with that, she reveals that Citysville's greatest playwrite is coming to this elementary school, and if this play was good, they could go on tour with this amazing play about fruit!

We cut right from the failed rehearsals to the final version of the play, which is, according to a sign gag and not anything in the play itself, The Five Food Groups: A Hero's Journey. Even after watching this episode several times, I'm not sure what the "A Hero's Journey" is supposed to signify. I would guess it's supposed to refer to this plot about the Tomato, played by everyone's favorite brick, in his journey to identify whether he is a fruit or a vegetable, but where does Bubbles' song fit in all of this?

Then again, it's more likely one couldn't even make out what these kids are singing, as they're off-key and can't seem to sing in-time either. Of course, this is all intentional, but it's still bad enough to be hard to listen to. Ms. Moss hopes that Belle Lakes wouldn't notice, maybe possibly giving her a slight break since these are just elementary school students.

That's not the case, as she's bored watching this drivel. Finally, a character I can relate to. But hey, at least that lady right next to her is loving it! Also loving it is good ol' Sitcom Dad, who is taking pictures with this smartphone. You'd think someone who is bad at computers would use some sort of old-timey camera. Good thing the Professor shouldn't fit that description!

This reception doesn't please Ms. Moss at all. If she doesn't do anything quickly, this performance will bomb! That last word gives her an idea.

Ms. Moss continues her affinity with using mystic objects from mystic sources, though this item is a little less fantastic than the play that summons butch viking women. In this case, it's a Drama Bomb that was given to her after she graduated at an academy for master thespians, which, for some unexplained reason, is made up entirely of people in cloaks. When this bomb explodes, it makes anyone caught in the blast 10 times more dramatic!

She happens to have this bomb in a glass case that says "In Case Of Lack of Talent", and I'd say that should have been broken 114 times by now. She calls for a brief intermission, gathering all the students, and then throwing the bomb at them. Covering everything in pink glitter, the bomb's effects appear to be negligible...at least, for a few seconds.

Buttercup: Ugh, what was that?

Blossom: I don't know...it's...

Blossom and Buttercup: Magical!

Ms. Moss quickly comes in to say this is all brilliant, and tells them to go to their places with a really ugly zoom-in to her mouth. No real explanation other than "see, Ms. Moss is cuckoo!", I'm not going to show it, and you're welcome.

Thanks to the power of that Drama Bomb, that opening song from before turns into a big, artsy, and dramatic song in the style of the Cell Block Tango scene from Chicago. The unique coloring, the similar style of the song, and it even goes right down to how the food items in the pyramid looks like they're in jail cells. Honestly, I actually like this choice in visuals.

As for the audio, it's interesting to say the least, if not that memorable or catchy. It's still the same voice actors and voice actresses singing the songs here. I was 100% thinking they were going to pull out some actual singer to dub in for these characters, but it's just the regular actors actually trying to sound good. Less ideal, but less awkward than the alternative.

There is this shot with Blossom and you-know-who embracing that's just randomly in there, even though thankfully this is not a play where Blossom and Jared are the love interests. At least, as far as the viewers can tell, anyway. It does make sense in the play, since it's either two vegetables or a fruit and a vegetable, but I cannot forget all of that baggage from those fantasy scenes from Season 1 and 2.

Belle Lakes starts to get overjoyed at this. That lady right next to her is also still liking this, though the lack of change in her expression is worrying me. And, of course, Sitcom Dad is still sneaking around, taking smartphone pictures. Now that they're supposedly talented now, there's not even a joke here other than the Sitcom Dad creeping out that one guy. I wouldn't blame him.

Blossom and Buttercup are confused, as they can't help themselves but dramatically enter rooms, make dramatic poses, and speak with dramatic lines. Well, Buttercup is just dabbing and speaking as if Bart Simpson got an even worse cold than usual, but I can see what she's trying to do. At least Blossom's Shakespeare-esque lines are fitting here, and she says them relatively well.

Suddenly, the cellphone hotline rings, and Blossom asks what evil besieges the poor Mayor, and...

...it turns out that this episode features Discount Jojo as the villain again, stealing the dome from Town Hall as a decoration! I would say that this continues a streak with episodes with main villains voiced by Roger L. Jackson, but Ms. Moss is a far bigger threat here.

The Puffs attempt to leave, only to be stopped by the power of the Drama Bomb. As Ms. Moss explains, the show must go on, who cares if Townsville becomes a burning crater in the ground. She doesn't exactly say that last line, but she might as well say it.

They don't really turn Discount Jojo's crime spree into a B-plot. We just get this one scene where Jojo is so confused that, no matter how many crimes he makes and how long he makes his laughter, the Powerpuff Girls aren't stopping him. I guess I could see some humor in how Jojo is worried that the usual rhythm of things just isn't happening, it reminds me of that scene from that one episode of Batman: The Animated Series.

Joker: Without Batman, crime has no punchline.

It was done far better there, but I'm not going to hate on the reboot for not living up to those impossibly high standards. No dramatic lines from Jojo here, as much as it would be oddly fitting for this episode, but he does ask what could possibly be so vital that it would prevent the Powerpuff Girls from giving him a slideshow beatdown?

This at least decently transitions to the scene where Blossom dramatically exclaims that it's vital to know if the tomato is a vegetable or not, and even the Tomato does not know. By the way, if you're wondering where the Chicago styling is here, they pretty much forget about it beyond that one scene.

Also pretty much gone is any semblance of a followable plot in this play. I'm not expecting anything Shakespearean to show up in this reboot with or without that Drama Bomb, but there's no real connection between this tomato plot and Bubbles' final song.

Speaking of which, Bubbles is still moping that she can't figure out what that last word in the song is. This scene comes up way too often; it feels more like filler. I could at least appreciate them being over-dramatic, but other than that, it's just "waaah, I can't figure out my liiiines!"

In the end, they say they will do it together...as a whole! This word actually ends up being that word Bubbles was supposed to rhyme with "bowl". I mean, what else could it be? Treats are better than eating coal? You got to pay the troll toll? This show needs some quality control? Would have went with that one.

Essentially singing the same song as her attempt at the end song from the rehearsal scene from the beginning, since it was the only relatively good thing about it, I guess, she finally nails the end song with the help of her sisters. Belle really loved this play, and the uphill rollercoaster with Sitcom Dad still keeps going up without any real conclusion. What does conclude is the spell from the Drama Bomb, signified with some sparkles. The Powerpuff Girls are glad that they're finally free.

However, in the end, Ms. Moss learned absolutely nothing, as she promises to use a drama bomb on every play on this day forward, and then rolls out of the room. How she's going to get more of them will never be explained. The Powerpuff Girls seemingly pay it no mind that future plays might indirectly cause the destruction of Townsville, and decide, now that the show has ended, to finally take on Discount Jojo.

This isn't a bad way to end this episode. Such a old-school beating, not only does it end with a bruised Discount, it even comes with the classic line:

Blossom: Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!

If it actually had Bubbles and Buttercup saying Mojo and Jojo respectively, it would have been perfect, but I shouldn’t compare this show to that show’s impossibly high-to-this-show standards, either. The episode ends with a line that fits in with the rest of the episode, which is more than what I could say about some episodes.

Bubbles: And...scene!

I would have preferred a dramatic line read from Tom Kenny and hearts, but alas.

Does the title fit?

Name of the object, though it does cause drama in pretty much any way I can think of.

How does it stack up?

I'm a little in the middle with this episode. There isn’t much to the episode beyond some dramatic line reads, some better than others. However, it has some nice shots, and the songs, the ones that aren't meant to be terrible, are at least passable. It’s watchable, but I wouldn’t lie and say that yawning playwrite didn’t represent me at some points.

Next, Watch It, did they botch it?

← Checkin' Out ☆ Watch It! →

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Batman” (1989)

Decided to rewatch this classic before I watch the new Justice League movie that’s out this week

I, for one, am so glad Danny Elfman brought the Batman theme back into “Justice League”

*jams out to the Batman theme*

JACK NICHOLSON

Billy Dee Williams!  And he’s only in it for like 5 minutes

Jack Palance! 

Oh my gosh, I forgot Prince did music for this movie

Aaaand it’s the Batman symbol!

Matte painting!  Matte paintings everywhere!

Why do they always portray Gotham as freaking packed?  I know it’s supposed to be a bustling metropolis but this is too much.

Why yes, random family, let’s take a shortcut through a shady ass alleyway.

What the...

Batman, brought to you by American Express

*Batman floats down behind the robbers*  Eeeyyyy!!

*Batman gets shot*  Welp, he’s dead.  End of movie.  Cue end credits music.

Gotta take your sweet ass time revealing your cape...

He raises his arms so high in the air in order to do it.

“I want you to tell all your friends about me.”  “What are you?!?!?”  I’M BATMAN! DAAAA NA NA NAAAA NAAAAA

Lando?!?

Mayor Borg?!?!?

“People of Gotham City, I [Harvey Dent] am a man of few words.”  Nah, he’s a double-crossing, no-good swindler.

All righty, unpopular opinion time:  I don’t like Jack Nicholson as the Joker.  I just don’t.  He’s just... Jack Nicholson in clown paint.  Plus they establish him as a character before he becomes the Joker.

Oh, and of course, they name the Jack Nicholson character “Jack”

So who’s the Lieutenant character again?

Heelllooo shady lookin’- oh it’s Jack Nicholson.

Bob the Goon!

Matte painting!

This movie should be subtitled “Matte Paintings:  The Movie”

Oh my God, Lando, what did they do to your hair?

Eeeeyyy!!  Bob Kane!

“Vale, will you marry me [Knox]?”  “Nope?”  “Wanna buy me lunch?”  “Maybe.”  “I eat light!”  Pffftt....

Story time:  the Quidditch coach/captain of the team here at college (who is notorious for being a flirt) asked me to buy him supper one time before practice.  I knew it was a joke but I told him “Nah, you gotta earn it” and I was applauded by the team

Obligatory purple Joker suit!

Obligatory Joker card!

Why is it such a big deal that Jack Nicholson is involved with that one particular moll?

You gotta hammer it in that Jack Nicholson’s gonna become the Joker

Why is there a casino set up in Wayne Manor?

Michael Gough!

Why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s getting ready to be married?

I like that we don’t actually meet Bruce until like 20 minutes into the movie.  Plus they establish him as a mystery character- technically the main characters at the beginning of the movie is Knox and Vicki and then it shifts to Batman.  And then again, we don’t get a lot of background on either Batman or Bruce.

I never really had time to appreciate how great Michael Keaton is as Bruce Wayne but dang he’s good.  And I love the reasoning behind this casting:  there’s no way he could be seen as Batman and when we do find out, it’s a big shock.

Holy crap, how many cameras are set up around the manor?

Oh my gosh, Bruce has reading glasses!

Sound stage!

FreEEEZZZEE!!!

AN:  I’m only 25 minutes into this movie.  We gots a bit to go because I’m such a motormouth

Boom goes the dynamite!

Yes, let’s have a police shootout in a chemical factory!  Great plan, guys!

Man, Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon would be on the ball when it came to this situation.  Pat Hingle’s Commissioner Gordon just stands around and gives orders

Um, officers, you’re walking into a puddle of toxic chemicals...

In all seriousness though, I want Jack Nicholson’s hat

Never have I seen a smirkier Batman than Michael Keaton’s Batman

Well there’s also Kevin Conroy’s Batman

*Jack Nicholson falls into the chemical vat*  Welp, he’s dead.  End of movie.  Cue end credits music.

AXIS

Why were Jack Nicholson’s fingernails dyed green from the chemicals?  I know it’s comic book logic but still...

This scene in the dining hall is my dad’s favorite scene in the movie.

That is an impossibly long dining table.

Aaww, they’re having dinner with Alfred in the butlers’ quarters!

“Alfred’s great.  I [Bruce] couldn’t find my socks without him.”  Cue in Batman:  The Animated Series, Joker literally cannot find his socks because Harley’s not there.

That is no way to take bandages off properly, Jack...

Mirror... MIRROR!!

“You see what I have to work with here.”  Yeah, those are some shitty surgical tools there, buddy.

Oh, throw that shoe, Bruce

“Who the hell are you?”  “It’s me [the Joker].”  *sings* IT’S MEEEEEE

“Jack?  Jack is dead, my friend.  You can call me.. Joker!  And as you can see, I’m a lot happier!”

This freaking circus music though

*Bruce and Vicki cuddle while sleeping*  Cue Bruce going “Aw man, I can’t enjoy spending time with this awesome lady because I gotta brood, man.”

WHY IS HE UPSIDE DOWN?!?!?

WAIT ‘TIL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME!

Why the hell is Jack Nicholson dressed like that?

What kind of hand buzzer is that?!?

HAVEN’T YOU HEARD THE HEALING POWER OF LAUGHTER?  NOW GET OUTTA HERE!

YOUUU... ARE MY NUMBER ONEEEE... GUUUYYYYYY!!

How does Bruce Wayne AKA Batman not notice Vicki trailing him from his house to Crime Alley?

Random mime... more random mimes...

Why is Bruce just standing there?  Ooohhhh... wait a minute.. there’s this whole schindig about him recognizing Jack later in the movie

There is literally no reason why Jack Nicholson becomes the Joker since he’s already been established as Jack Napier before the whole ACE Chemicals thing. 

THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!

Alfred just wants some grandkids, gosh dang it

How the hell did you get those pics, Vicki?

Oh my God, I hate that this Joker has this weird crush on Vicki.  I hate it so much.

“I’m in a mind to make some mooky.” Ugghh...

Oh my gosh, the Smylex commercial

Oh my gosh, the newspeople aren’t wearing any care products... pfftt...

What kind of cake foundation does Joker have?  That’s like the stuff we had to wear in high school

That waiter just addressed Vicki as “sir”

Did Joker write that message in crayon?

That elderly couple is dead after falling off the balcony like that

LET’S BROADEN OUR MINDS!

*jams the crap out to “Party Man” by Prince*

*One goon paints over a bust*  Hey look, it’s the Jared Leto Joker

What the crap is this music that plays?  It plays during one of the trailers for “The Shape of Water”

Oh wait, it’s the theme from something called “A Summer Place”

I quote the “one dollar bill” quote all the freaking time at my house.

The prosthetic work on Alicia looks pretty sweet, I gotta say

Oh, a little song.. a little dance... Batman’s head on a lance...

Oh my gosh, I forgot how much Kim Basinger screamed in this movie

They even color coded the cars for Joker’s goons

*The police get involved in an accident involving a farmer’s market truck*  NO, NOT THE CABBAGES!

There is no way in hell that Vicki only weighs like 108

Remember when the Batsuit was made out of rubber, you guys?

*Crazy, sword-wielding guy goes after Batman*  Seriously?  Did you not see “Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

For the Batmobile, it looks like they made the toy first before constructing it for the movie

Gotta love that Danny Elfman score...

*Vicki tries to see under Batman’s cowl*  Yo, Vicki, don’t distract Batman while he’s driving

The Batcave!

Why is there just this one random bat hanging out in a bird cage?

Forgot that Michael Keaton literally could not turn his head in the Batsuit

Oh my gosh, how short is Michael Keaton here?

Oooohhh nice transition!

How the hell did Vicki end up back there?

Gotta admit, that’s a nice apartment

“You see, my life is really...”  Batsy!

JUST TELL HER YOU’RE [Vicki] BATMAN!

I like how Bruce walks right by the fire poker in order to get a freaking tray to hit Joker with

YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!?  C’MON, LET’S GET NUTS!

EVER DANCE WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT?

“Never rub another man’s rhubarb.”  What?

There is no way in hell that Bruce deflected that bullet with the tray

Matte painting!

“Can you hear me?  Just the two of us.”  *sings “Just the Two of Us” by Will Smith*

Gotta admit, Michael Keaton’s Batman has an awesome thinking/pensive face.  It’s probably the eyebrows that help

What is it with families being targeted by random gun-wielding criminals in abandoned alleyways?

There’s no way that that’s Jack Nicholson playing young Jack Napier

Nevermind, it’s some dude named Hugo Blick

*scats the Batman theme obnoxiously out of tune*

Batman’s belt just slipped.  Never gonna un-see that

Why is it that every time this Batman is in the Batsuit and glaring at somebody, he looks like he’s really constipated?

Seriously, is there not a bathroom in the Batcave?

Is this another Prince song?

So where exactly did Joker find the time to find all of this stuff and prepare for an impromptu 200th anniversary parade?

The Batplane!

Matte painting!

“Me?  I’m giving away free money!”  And it looks faaaaakkkeee...

Something is up with that clown balloon’s nose... just saying...

Yeah, lets go after the Joker’s goons with a baseball bat, Knox.  That’ll go well.

I love the sounds all the buttons make on the Batplane dashboard

“My balloons.  Those are my balloons!  He stole my balloons!”  Iconic.

Hahaha he [Joker] used Bob the Goon as a step stool off the parade float!

*The Batplane pauses in front of the moon*  Eeeeyyy!!

*Joker pulls out the gun with the really long muzzle out of the front of his pants*  No comment

Again, why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s either getting ready to get married or go to a wedding?

“Better make it ten [minutes].”  What makes this awesome is that ten minutes actually goes by both in-universe time and movie run time.  My dad actually timed it the first time I watched this with him.

Mad respect to Tim Burton for the aesthetic in this movie, I gotta say

The eyebrows on Batman’s cowl strangely match Michael Keaton’s.  Was this intentional?

*Joker “dances” with Vicki* Now see the last time I recall Joker dancing with somebody was the 5 second long Alex Ross scene with Harley Quinn in “Suicide Squad”

Unpopular opinion time:  I like Jared Leto’s Joker better than Jack Nicholson’s Joker  *gets bombarded with hate mail and darts*

Eugghhhh Vicki’s pulling a freaking Jasmine from “Aladdin”

“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses now, would ya?”  Cue Wreck-It-Ralph

How the hell did Joker pull Batman and Vicki off the roof like that?

Oh my gosh that 80s falling effect

Yeah no, from that drop, the Joker’s body would be a freaking mess

“The reign of crime [in Gotham City] is over.”  BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh hi Billy Dee Williams!

You know what would be awesome:  if Kim Basinger had a cameo somewhere in the Batman solo movie directed by Ben Affleck.  Just saying

Yoooo....

[cinema-tv-etc]

25 Reasons 'The Good Wife' Had the Best Guest Cast Ever

Mandi Bierly - Deputy Editor, Yahoo TV Yahoo TV Staff  May 4, 2016

When The Good Wife ends its seven-season run on May 8, the CBS drama will be remembered for many things: the empowering evolution of Alicia (Julianna Margulies), the continuous delight that was watching Christine Baranski in a role that has earned her an Emmy nomination for every season to date, and some of TV’s best writing. Of course it’s that last one that is truly responsible for the show being revered for its great guest stars. But here are 25 more reasons why that roster is the best ever.

The Good Wife series finale airs May 8 at 9 p.m. on CBS.

1. The writers knew that when you have a great character, you keep him (or her) in your world.

Dylan Baker has earned three Emmy nominations for playing Colin Sweeney, an accused wife killer who first appeared in Season 1′s thirteenth episode, “Bad,” and returned often enough to be dubbed Alicia’s creepiest client (“I like you, Mrs. Florrick,” he once told her. “You feed my Mary Poppins obsession”). When the audience knows a recurring character well enough to find a cutaway shot to him scowling in a courtroom funny, you’ve done your job. (Credit: John Paul Filo/CBS)

2. They created a role worthy of Michael J. Fox.

How do you make opposing lawyers quickly feel like three-dimensional characters? You have them exploit whatever they can about themselves in the courtroom. For Fox’s Louis Canning, that’s his illness (cue the eyeroll from Alicia). Over the years, as Fox has earned four Emmy nominations for the role he first played in Season 2, we’ve seen many sides of Canning (and even his alleged deathbed). But like all great recurring characters, he continues to bring out the best — and worst — in Alicia, including that awesome fake cry Julianna Margulies performed in the series’ penultimate episode when Alicia imagined what Canning expected to see when he told her Peter was accused of having a longtime affair. (Credit: Michael Parmelee/CBS)

3. They acknowledged that judges have personalities and personal views — and how they remain fair (unless they’re being bribed or just want to move their day along, of course).

On most shows that take us inside the courtroom, you don’t even know the judge’s name, let alone that she prefers you always use the phrase “in my opinion” (Ana Gasteyer’s Judge Patrice Lessner) or his position on gun control (Denis O’Hare’s Charles Abernathy). Because they’re truly characters, we can find them punishing the lawyers either amusing (David Paymer’s Judge Richard Cuesta keeping score in Peter’s current trial) or infuriating (pretty much every interaction Christopher McDonald’s Judge Don Schakowsky has ever had with Alicia). (Credit: Craig Blankenhorn/CBS)

4. They recognized another truth: Just because you have young kids doesn’t mean you’re soft.

It turns out you can still be fierce (Martha Plimpton’s Emmy-winning role, attorney Patti Nyholm) and extremely competent (Tim Guinee’s Mr. Mom investigator, Wiley) even when you have to bring your baby to an emergency hearing or take a call from the State’s Attorney through a talking lion toy. (Credit: John Paul Filo/CBS)

5. They weren’t afraid to go quirky. Like really, really quirky.

You can also be as eccentric as attorney Elsbeth Tascioni (Emmy winner Carrie Preston) and extremely respected. She carries ridiculously large bags and has made some ridiculous entrances, but her brilliance is never questioned (even after she’s busted singing along to “Call My Maybe” while falling for Kyle MacLachlan’s Josh Perotti). (Credit: Jeff Neumann/CBS)

6. They wouldn’t let you judge a book by its cover.

Nancy Crozier (Mamie Gummer) was one of Alicia’s greatest adversaries. Young, bright, and deceptively naive, she was actually a cobra whose bite made even the audience sit up a little higher in their chairs.

7. They knew a face you would want to slap — but wouldn’t want to stop watching.

State’s Attorney Glenn Childs (Titus Welliver) was the original foe we loved to hate. His legacy has lived on, though, in that office, in the high-ranking members of the Democratic party who’ve screwed Alicia and Diane, and most recently, in AUSA Connor Fox (Matthew Morrison), who’s taking the last crack at Peter.

8. They knew opposites attract.

Christine Baranski’s Diane didn’t need a man in her life to be a great character, but we’re sure glad she found Kurt McVeigh, Gary Cole’s ballistics expert. Their flirtatious cross-aisle verbal sparring grew into a still passionate relationship befitting a man who’s willing to sacrifice his most valuable commodity — his word — for the love of his life, and a woman who means it when she vows to make him happy every day of his life if he’ll forgive her. If we were told only one romance could survive the finale — Diane’s or Alicia’s — we’d pick this one.

9. They knew people with opposing views could be civil.

It was fascinating to see R.D. (Oliver Platt), an approachable and politically conservative businessman who loved a civilized argument with a worthy opponent, in scenes with Diane. He respected her, and used her as the devil’s advocate — eventually making her question whether his retainer was worth the sale of her soul.

10. They knew how to keep us guessing.

Were we supposed to like David Hyde Pierce’s Frank Prady, a political commentator-turned-State’s Attorney candidate who insisted to opponent Alicia that he wanted to run a campaign? We wanted to trust him (he’s played by David Hyde Pierce after all), but in the world of ‘Good Wife’ politics, you could never be sure.

11. They knew how to make feminists think.

Caitlin (Anna Camp) was a promising young lawyer who wanted to leave her burgeoning career to focus on her fiancée and their planned family. For some viewers, that’s as divisive a decision as Alicia standing by Peter at the start of the series. Alicia tried to talk Caitlin out of it — you can have it all — but Caitlin said she wasn’t sacrificing anything; she was choosing what she wanted. Her generation has nothing to prove, Caitlin said. Of course, years later we learned that Caitlin is now a single mom, back at work, and wondering if she ever should have left. Is the moral that nothing can guarantee a happily ever after, or that she’ll be fine, just like Alicia was?

12. They introduced us to Mike Colter.

Though he came to the show with credits, it’s his portrayal of the stoic, imposing Lemond Bishop that was Colter’s big break. “Mike Colter is such an amazing actor, and everybody’s catching on now and stealing him from us, which we take as a personal affront,” ‘Good Wife’ co-creator Robert King joked to Yahoo TV last year. (Colter’s ‘Jessica Jones’ character, Luke Cage, get his own Marvel series debuting Sept. 30 on Netflix.) “While this guy can play the very grim drug kingpin, it’s always fun to see how there’s a real human side underneath that because he’s a dad. Being a dad myself, I shovel some of my issues into [Bishop]. It’s just like you got a guy who’s split right down the middle. And obviously, Kalinda’s got front row seats for that.”

13. They made us wish Matthew Perry could have stuck around.

The actor’s slap-me dry delivery was way more palatable as Mike Kresteva, Peter’s political rival, than it is as Oscar on The Odd Couple. Damn you, Go On!

14. They took advantage of filming in NYC.

New York is not just the home of Law & Order franchise guest stars, it’s the home of Broadway stars, and many have had memorable turns on The Good Wife, including Renée Elise Goldsberry (ASA Geneva Pine), who just received a Tony nomination for her role in Hamilton, and Laura Benanti (Sweeney’s latest wife, Renata), who just earned her fifth career Tony nomination for She Loves Me.

15. They wrote sexy, accomplished women over 40.

On a show with Alicia and Diane, you’d expect nothing less, but let’s appreciate the juicy roles for women such as Rita Wilson (Diane’s old attorney friend Viola Walsh) and Vanessa Williams (the businesswoman/donor who broke Eli’s heart).

16. They built a believable family.

We all know where Alicia gets her love of wine — from her mother, Veronica (Stockard Channing) — and why she turned out okay (she had her brother, Owen, played by Dallas Roberts, to commiserate with). It was nice to see them return recently when, for at least a moment, there was a lightness to Alicia that matched theirs.

17. They gave us a millennial we didn’t hate!

Another welcome return: Eli’s daughter, Marissa, who is the only person we like to see outwit Eli and is second only to Gary on ‘Veep’ when it comes to our favorite body man (or woman). We still wish she was working for Alicia.

18. They always found new and different foils for Eli (Alan Cumming).

Eli was always at his best when he was maneuvering against someone. It didn’t matter whether it was a savvy teen mean girl (Dreama Walker’s wicked Becca), Peter’s manipulative mother (Mary Beth Peil’s delicious Jackie Florrick), or a more accomplished peer (Margo Martindale’s imposing Ruth Eastman).

19. They made us fall in love again.

After the shocking death of Will Gardner (Josh Charles), much of the audience, like Alicia, felt hollow. But Matthew Goode’s Finn Polmar, the ASA who’d been opposite Will when he was shot dead in court, filled us up again with a simmering promise of sexual tension. Even though Goode was ultimately billed as a series regular, you sensed he was just passing through (on his way to Downton Abbey). He left because he knew he couldn’t work closely with Alicia and not have things get “sloppy” between them. He left us wanting more (i.e. Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s Jason).

20. They weren’t ageist, really.

Could it be the series’ happiest ending is reserved for Jackie and nap-loving firm relic Howard Lyman (Jerry Adler)?

21. They went with the unexpected.

Who wasn’t surprised to see Linda Lavin as Joy Grubick, Cary’s pretrial services officer? She was by the book, but even when she wouldn’t cut him a break for going half a mile over the state line, there was something calming in her slow-talking voice that made it difficult to get angry with her.

22. They warmed our hearts.

Clarke Hayden (played by Nathan Lane, who was nominated for an Emmy for his guest turn) was a court-appointed trustee whose job was to trim the fat at Lockhart/Gardner. He eventually grew close to Cary (Matt Czuchry) — who, in the backstory Lane created for the character in his own mind, reminded Clarke of his son who’d died of an overdose — and got to put David Lee (Zach Grenier) in his place. With the rat race tearing so many characters down, it’s nice to see the firm build someone up.

23. They created their own version of Snowden.

Some people loved the NSA story arc, some people thought it dragged on a bit too long, but everyone can agree how fun it was to see Silicon Valley’s Zach Woods recur as Jeff Dellinger. And let’s not forget about his former cubemates, led by Ugly Betty’s Michael Urie.

24. They even knew how to cast the right dog.

Just when you thought you’d seen every quirk on ‘The Good Wife,’ we were introduced to Elsbeth’s ex-husband, Mike Tascioni (Will Patton), who shares custody of their absurdly chill Chihuahua mix (played by a one-and-a-half-year-old rescue dog named Louie). “We’ve been interested in the idea of emotional support dogs, and it made sense to us, as we built the Mike character, that he might benefit from one,” ‘Good Wife’ executive producer Craig Turk told Yahoo TV. “Then it felt like high-strung Elsbeth might benefit, too. And if you begin to imagine what the dog in that situation would feel like… you get Tom. I named him Tom because, when writing the Mike character for the first time, I described him as hero-worshipping Atticus Finch — so, the ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ connection.”

25. And finally, on the rare occasion they made a misstep, the role (read: Kalinda’s ex) was cast with someone who’d make it easy to forget.

Sorry, Marc Warren.

https://www.yahoo.com/tv/25-reasons-good-wife-had-223854699/photo-5-they-weren-t-afraid-to-1462401610717.html

[mattyslittleworld]

Never Meant

I hear “What are we going through? You and me?” as I watch the sunlight literally tear through the black clouds that were hanging over my town. This is my favorite song by The National - Hairpin Turns. It’s so fucking brutal, and it seems like, to me, he is absolutely desperately fucking annihilated by losing whoever he lost. I’ve been there. And I thought I was going to be there again, pretty soon. I am currently pulled over in my car in a parking lot, as I was on a little drive through the neighborhood. Coffee and some beautiful, subtle music. The sun was out all day, and it’s t shirt weather. So me and Gionna’s ex boyfriends American Nightmare shirt (lol) went on a windows down stroll until suddenly the bright sky was filled with darkness. My one moment to forget about all of this madness was being pushed aside, I just wanted to pretend it was summer, shit was normal, and feel calm and collected, as if literal iced out trucks weren’t being filled with corpses outside of hospitals. We’ve all lost people, in a week, 5 deaths close to my immediate family, bringing my family itself stronger and closer together. Here I am driving into a storm, in a t shirt, just like the current state of American Society. Until.....the clouds part....and as I drive slowly down 35 north....the sunlight starts dancing in the most beautiful way. It was almost an epiphany and it made me think. It made me pull over - within the beautiful chorus of this National song...eloquently tiptoeing in the background. I felt calm. I smirked. If there was a god up top, I thank my guy. But it made me think - hey - we may be walking into a black cloud in just a t shirt, for we’ve been blindsided, but if you walk forward....maybe the sun will come and shit will be better than expected if we stand tall and be brave and love. 

“What are we going through? You and me...”

Currently writing at 2:15 am - two days later than what appears above this. 

I didn’t record any music today, unlike every single day of this quarantine we’ve all been locked into. I wake up, walk over to the mic, which is brand new - and pull up beats or pick up the guitar and hack away. Even if its horrible, its just important to me to get it out. Stack and stack and stack and stack. Ive discovered that during this quarantine - the isolation is making me look inward, and subconsciously pick away at the thing I’ve been chasing for the past few years that ive been so curious and scared about cracking open. But with no distraction of the outside world…because its literally shut down…it makes sense the little bits and pieces of this thing that’s been bleeding into my music….like I said with no distractions…POURS OUT OF ME effortlessly. Im like okay this makes hella sense. With dark city lights and the cage shit and even with the Albee shit I was like…okay this is a NEW DOOR. But do I walk through it? What do I wear? Can I walk back out or will it lock once I get in there? Is it a trap? I need more information. I need more clarity. So without me really knowing what’s in there - I feel like little bits and pieces have been bleeding into my work. And now I finally busted that fucking door down and it wasnt a room…it was the exit to the trap I was existing in my whole musical career. Now liberated. Now free. Now born. This has been so inspiring to me because what people don't really realize about this genre is that its a full on contact sport. Its competitive. Its similar to being an athlete. Which I was my whole life. Similar to basketball - you gotta stay in the gym and the more work you put in...the more shots you take...the better your jump shot is. same with this...theres a fucking skill to it. You can be really good at it. Or you can be trash. And you can utilize it in the most combative ways. It gives me something to attack and focus my need of competitiveness on. Another thing I can obsess over. The samples ive been using in my beats have not ever been used before. These ideas are brand new in this shit. The topics I am spitting about are so serious to me. I want nothing to do with the stereotypical rapper aesthetic - the gimmicks - the drugs….all that can fuck off. I want to make a difference and tackle drug abuse, depression, anxiety, anger, the violence ive seen my whole life, hardcore, my old friends, my new friends, my love life, everything ive experienced. Im using actual real names, with actual real life things that happened with 0 apology about how you feel about it. I want to utilize this to up the worth of my words and vocabulary and paint the portrait of my life. I want it to mean something. I want to make change. Even if its on a small level. Man I feel everything. Its insane how this could all be so evident with just non stop self reflection. You vs. You….who will you become? Like I said…wake up. Hit the mic or bring up beats and just cook. If that hits a wall…just study study study study podcasts and interviews for hours and hours and hours. After that ill play basketball, run a mile, work out, and take it down to Ozark lol. Im invested. I don’t do anything illegal cause im a lil bish ass pussy but I wanna do some crazy shit lolol. 

Anyway, original point, I didn’t record any music. I was feeling restless and packed my shit and drove for literally 5 hours tonight. Went up 287. Hit a few nostalgic spots that I love so much and hold close to my heart. I listened to all the music ive been making. But mainly the objective was to just take a day to free myself of this grind and quarantine and be a fan of music….in the world….and reconnect with that feeling it gives you. I listened to early Alicia Keys, first Drake album, some Russ, some old folk shit, so much beautiful music. Damn it really moved me. 5 hours I drove around just visiting places that my heart are attached to. Those milestone places. Little ones….like a diner in Clark I went to once but something important started there. Or a venue in Hackensack called School Of Rock that I met my boy Alex at…when we attend a Horse The Band show together with a few homies and I got yelled at by some girl by the Merch table cause I used to be so fat and moshed so hard and punched like 14 people in the face and it was so not cool and so out of place lmao. I was in a awkward dress shirt I looked straight out of fucking Billy Madison. Horrible. Its always so interesting to me to return to places like this…after years and years and years of it only being a distant memory…to kind of return and prove it was real. I am such a different person now. As we all are. But I really drifted into a whole other land of opportunity that exists outside of everything I grew up around. Socially too. So sometimes it really does feel like everything and everyone I loved….everything I experienced…was just a dream and didn’t exist. It’s so odd. People I knew for 20 years…have no idea about anything I do now. They just see my social media. But that line is drawn. And vice versa - everyone in my life have 0 idea of my life prior. The people, the interests, the stories I tell are foreign. They’re like hardcore? Whats that? And meanwhile that was the most important thing in my life for literally 20 years….and if you told the people in my life at that time that the people in my life in the future wouldn’t even know what hardcore was….theyd be thoroughly confused as to why I was lying to them. But life goes on…and hey…sometimes you gotta take a trip down memory lane and cry in your car tears of joy that you don’t have to fucking fight loading in your gear anymore and you get to have platinum selling artists touch your beats. Or you get to sing songs with billboard charting artists, who have the biggest billboards you ever seen ,light up Times Square right above the spot you found a 100 dollars with your first love. If you told me that when I found that shit years ago id be like eat a dick we’re going to see Ceremony at the warren American legion peaaaaace lolol. 

Side bar - im listening to the national again. 

But this time the song “Quiet Light” and I want to point out that I think its magnificently adorable that a lyric is

“Im not the spiritual type…I still go out all the time to department stores” 

I have literally no idea what that means but I think its mad cute.

Department stores are cute as fuck because “things” are cute.

Like little things to put on bigger things yanno lol?

I think this song is entirely too amazing to be released to the public, it really makes you question everything you ever made, and reality.  I mean the line “between you and me I still fall apart at the sound of your voice”…OOF. Im just sitting here at 2:46 am on this Sunday, with my eyes closing for small moments to really soak in the beauty of this master piece. Whoever he is talking to ruined him. Ive been ruined, I understand and empathize with this. Primarily making rap and pop music it really opens up my taste to this indie type shit…really falls right into that open wound in the best way. It stings because it hits home so hard, but its so eloquent at the same time. Almost addicting. I want to take a lot of these sounds recreate them, and apply that to the music im making now that exists outside of this genre. I think it’d be crazy and it’d cross two worlds that haven’t been crossed. Damn im out here giving away the tea to you useless fuckers. 

Last night I had a dream about an old friend, that I don’t think is healthy in this time of my life to be around….but damn…it was like I relapsed on the heroin of our friendship. It was the realest shit I have ever dreamt. I woke up - with the exact feeling you get when you go home after you hangout with somebody in the flesh. This whole day it was very real, and felt like I spent a whole night with them, and all my wounds were reopened, all the great times were revisited, and it was just brought to the forefront of my mental. As if we just met. Its crazy dreams can do that. Its just sad that this is such a toxic relationship, and the inevitable cannot be avoided, and a true bond that exists somewhere, deep deep deep down in it, has to be supressed because of the negativity it brings. In the dream we were older, existing without issues, exploring that bond, with issues pushed aside. It was beautiful. I woke up genuinely upset, confused, with a wish that maybe one day we could meet again In a place that’s safe and relevant to who we are. Im at a point in my life where I haven't answered the phone in month for anybody, answered text messages, my bags are packed waiting for this shit to be over with so the rest of my life can begin. Theres no time for friends, love, social activities, or anything that doesn't have to do with business. But there will be a time in the future. This has visited me in the past before. Its interesting when you have to suppress shit that’s extremely bad for you, because its the right thing for you to do…but then the universe bypasses that completely and shakes your fucking soul. During the rest of my day I started realizing that I am really not okay with this person not in my life, like deep in my soul. Its too much of a damn shame, we’ve been through too much together. Every huge milestone in my life as a kid was shared with this person…years and years of growth. Every story I share with people in my life now, was experienced with them, every amazing time, every horrible life altering time. I learned so much, and even taught. I became a young man with them, and then a man. How is it that these new people around in my life have my time…but this person doesn’t? One day we will meet again…when the time is right…..in a different time of our lives. When it’s right. For us. You were my best friend, and no matter how far we are from each other….I got you. In the  depths of my soul and heart. Id literally kill somebody and go to prison for murder for you. But if you happen to read this - you already know that. 

I am listening to “Never Meant” by American Football.

To quote Mike Kinsella 

“Lets just pretend

Everything and

Anything between you and me

Was never meant

Was never meant”

-1-

[wrestlingisfake]

Extreme Rules preview

Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Samoa Joe - This is to determine the #1 contender for the universal championship, who will challenge Brock Lesnar in July.  It’s a fatal five-way match, so everybody can be in the ring at the same time, there can be no disqualifications or count-outs, and whoever scores the first fall on any other participant will win the match.

Originally the card for this show was to feature Reigns vs. Braun Strowman for the title shot, with Joe vs. Rollins and Balor vs. Wyatt in the undercard.  Strowman was expected to win and go on to face Brock, but that went out the window (or at least got pushed back) when he needed elbow surgery.  Caught in a creative pinch, WWE just took the top three matches and balled them up into this one.  With Braun out, it is legitimately unclear whom WWE wants to step up into his spot, and with five possible choices it will be really hard to guess.

It’s apparent that WWE would really like to do a long build towards Lesnar vs. Reigns, probably at Wrestlemania and definitely at a major show.  That would seem to rule out Roman winning here, but WWE has become notorious for sudden short-term swerves in their long-term plans for Roman.  For anybody who thinks Brock/Roman has to happen at Mania, I want to point out that Summerslam 2015 was built around a Brock/Taker match that had to happen at Mania, until Vince McMahon decided otherwise.  It’s not inconceivable that Roman gets the shot in July to set up a rematch in August.

Balor looks to be a favorite, given how his name comes up when Paul Heyman talks about future opponents for Lesnar.  It’s obvious Reigns and Strowman are the tentpole programs for Brock, but Balor is consistently the third name that comes up in the conversation.  That could be a conscious effort to get people to buy Finn as a credible threat to a man nearly twice his size.  On the other hand, why do that kind of build just for Brock to squash Finn in July and move on?

Wyatt’s promos lately suggest he’s looking past the match completely and is focusing on the idea that he is uniquely qualified to beat Lesnar.  It’s somewhat unusual to have a guy do that in WWE unless he’s going to actually get the match he’s looking ahead to.  That doesn’t mean Bray has to win here, but it does make me think a Wyatt/Lesnar match is in the cards this year.

Joe is my pick for the most interesting Lesnar opponent right now, but I’m not counting on him winning here.  He’s only been on the main roster for a few months and he hasn’t fully established himself as the wrecking ball he was in NXT, TNA, and ROH.  To get the most out of Brock vs. Joe, you’re gonna want Joe at peak badass, and we aren’t there yet.

There’s no reason Rollins can’t win, but I’d call him a dark horse since there’s no particular hook to pairing him with Lesnar.  (At least, not beyond “Seth really wants to be champion again,” but that’s been his gimmick for a year and a half.)  Anything is possible, but I think if Rollins wins we’ll hear a lot about how plans have been shifting around backstage.

The safest bet is Finn, so that’s who I’m going with.  But really, literally anything could happen, which should make the match an entertaining clusterfuck.

Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley - Bliss defeated Bayley for the Raw women’s title in April, so this is the rematch.  This is a “kendo stick on a pole” match, because Bliss has been attacking Bayley with a shinai for weeks to prove she isn’t egggstreeeeam, so this will potentially give Bayley a chance for some retribution.  The weapon will be hung from a pole attached to one of the ring posts, and the first participant to climb up and retrieve it can legally use it for the rest of the match.

The shinai is essentially a Japanese practice sword, made of bamboo so people could practice swordfighting without getting hurt.  It is singularly designed to minimize injury.  In pro wrestling, though, it was introduced as the dreaded “Singapore cane” (amid the Michael Fay caning controversy), and although now it is more commonly called a “kendo stick” it retains an aura of cruel and unusual punishment.  Alexa could frankly hurt Bayley far worse with a leather strap or a length of rebar, but wrestling fans just instinctively know the kendo stick is somehow less merciful.

I think it’s safe to say Bayley will get to use the kendo stick on Bliss, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s going to win.  Personally, I’m tired of the women’s titles getting hotshotted every month, so I’d rather not see yet another title switch.  So I’m expecting Bliss to pull some shenanigans to get out of this one with just a couple of welts.

Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz

- Ambrose is defending the intercontinental championship.  Normally the challenger cannot win the championship if he beats the champion by a count-out or disqualification, but for this match if Ambrose is disqualified, the Miz will be awarded the championship.

The whole “title can changes hands on a DQ” stipulation is a classic gimmick, where fans fantasize that it would be used to put a stop to rule-breaking heels.  But occasionally the tables get turned and a conniving heel convinces the powers that be that the babyface is the one who is recklessly flaunting the rules.  The idea is that we’re all supposed to be worried that our favorite brawler is fucked because he can’t stop himself from taking cheap shots, and the heel is trying to goad him into a DQ for the easy title win.  Win or lose, though, the heel gets comeuppance when the match is over and the face can do whatever he damn well pleases.

The problem with these matches, though, is that they end up being pretty dull, as the babyface ends up second-guessing every move and the heel reduces his offense to merely taunting and baiting the face.  The only way I expect this to be entertaining is if Ambrose outwits Miz with some novel approach to the scenario, like maybe beating him half to death with a chair before the match starts, or taking a count-out loss to end the match and get on with a fight.

I guess Miz could win the title, but this is really an “is Ambrose stupid?” match, and WWE tends to want to book him as being deceptively intelligent.  I’m picking Dean to retain.

Matt Hardy & Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus & Cesaro - The Hardys are defending the Raw tag team title.  Sheamus and Cesaro turned heel right after their last shot, so this is a grudge match.  The Hardys earned the right to name the stipulation and chose a cage match, so cyclone fencing will be erected around the ring posts.

A standard cage match can only be won by being the first to a) exit the cage and/or b) score a pinfall/submission.  In a tag team cage match, it’s not always clear if both members of the team have to exit the cage or not.  A common scenario is that one of the babyfaces climbs out of the cage, leaving the other babyface in a two-on-one scenario that ends with a pin or submission.  In a Hardys cage match, I can almost guarantee that:

Matt will exit the cage

Jeff will get double-teamed for a while

Jeff will mount a comeback and leave the heels laying

Jeff will start to climb out and then stop at the top

Jeff will suddenly decide to do a flip onto his downed opponents

The announcers will wonder if this is a good idea

Jeff will hit it and win the match OR miss and get pinned.

I would hazard a guess that Jeff is about .167 when it comes to winning cage matches, so this looks like trouble for the Hardys.  On the other hand, they’re riding high right now and I feel like the Sheamus/Cesaro feud is almost over, so maybe this time he’ll actually hit the damn flip.

Neville vs. Austin Aries - This is for Neville’s cruiserweight championship.  It’s a submission match, so pinfalls won’t be counted.  I don’t think anybody has spelled out whether the match can end by count-out or disqualification, but usually a submission match keeps the action on the mat so it never becomes an issue.  Aries has recently beaten Neville by submission in a tag team match, so the angle is that, after months of chasing the title, he’s got the champion on the defensive.  I’m pulling for a title change because that would at least create the hope of seeing a different fucking match next month, but I don’t really believe it.  I am resigned to seeing Neville/Aries IV in a blindfold match or something.

Sasha Banks & Rich Swann vs. Alicia Fox vs. Noam Dar - This is a mixed tag team match, so if one side tags the other has to tag as well, to ensure that no man vs. woman scenarios occur.  Fox has barely wrestled at all in the last six months as she’s been wrapped up in a cruiserweight storyline where she broke up with Cedric Alexander and Noam Dar caught her on the rebound and Rich Swann is mad on Cedric’s behalf or something.  So she finally gets back into action on Raw and she and Sasha are beating the shit out of each other, which leads to Banks and Swann forming an alliance. 

I like how Fox projects intensity in her matches, but it’s really easy to forget how much fun that is because she doesn’t get to wrestle on TV all that much.  On the other hand, WWE and romance go together about as well as nachos and steak sauce, so I’m not looking forward to more with Fox and Dar.  Which probably means Fox and Dar will win.

Apollo Crews vs. Kalisto - This is scheduled for the pre-show.  They’ve been doing this endless angle where Titus O’Neil wants to be Titus’s mentor, and Kalisto thinks that’s a load of crap, and Apollo waffles on it.  I don’t know where this is going but I’m damn sure the next story beat won’t happen on a pre-show.  Apollo wins, I guess?