#i think that wouldve been more of a gut punch

[sunrise-of-wonder]

My hot take about Wish that no one asked for is that Asha should've been the king's super devoted apprentice from the start, and he should have spent the whole movie trying to convince her to come back. A whole messed up fallen mentor thing, where the loss of her support is what causes him to unravel. Think of the angst! The drama! The betrayal 👌🏽

[skritt-shinies]

An example of GW2 writing an early death that serves the narrative and is done well is Vlast. Him dying to save us and him impacting Aurene, his lore and personality reveals, are all amazing. It also serves the story by preventing Balthazar from reaching his goal for a time, meaning Path of Fire's timeline works well.

An example of it NOT being done well:

Trahearne.

I think it couldve been done well... if it was any other character. Trahearne did not feel like he had a complete arc. Trahearne still had story he couldve had! There wasnt a reason to kill him off because we'd already beaten Mordremoth! A last second "IM COMING BACK" felt very cheap. And this death actually made me start to dislike Trahearne heavily upon replay. Hes already dead and we know his story wont go anywhere. If your character dying sours their already existing story then you did it badly.

If he had been given a complete arc beforehand, I wouldve perhaps enjoyed it more. But as it is, it sours his character before he dies, and the way they fill his role is so insulting and completely discards everything we built for in the base game. He is replaced like nothing by a Nobody who barely shows up. It's so maddening lmao

I wouldve preferred it if he perhaps survived and the reveal of what Mordremoth did is built throughout season 3. We couldve learned more about dragon magic through him. And then, a gut punch death couldve been dealt at the end of season 3 when Mordremoth shows his face again. Idk. Or maybe Mordremoth just died after that battle and Trahearne is just disabled from corruption. Anything feels better than what they did. Not to say I HATE it, I dont, but I wish it was done better.

Also it shouldve been logan who died 🙄

[rb19]

https://www.tumblr.com/rb19/754302119454113792/as-the-norstappen-url-holder-to-me-current

reading this after austria is like a punch in the gut

let's go over austria/silverstone then.. 😁

tbh i'm not even sure on some things i wrote there anymore 😭 but it was more clear after these two weekends what i said about their battle not changing how max sees and talks about lando, compared to lando's natural shift to anything related to max's on-track performances.

max was pretty rational regarding the collision. idk if it's bc he still got those 10 points on lando, or bc he felt like he really needed to assess more footage before coming to a conclusion. i wont put it down to experience only bc if it was another driver maybe he wouldve acted differently. but in any case, he didn't want to make a rival out of lando. he wanted to make sure that after their crash, things between them would stay the same.

meanwhile lando was ready to end it all!!!!! on the jet back to monaco, daniel/alex & co must have talked some sense into him.. and there he was monday morning texting max when he had said max should be the one to reach out first.. and mAX RESPECTED THAT A LOT. let us know, babe.

and again some verstappies took lando's words to heart.. i don't believe lando's reaction means their friendship is less valuable to him than it is to max. the current context of their careers is what makes lando's perception differs from max's. and max himself gets that. he aint gonna be upset about something it was said in the heat of the moment. hes been through that.

i think it's so interesting to watch how vulnerable lando can get due to his shortcomings. him not making the overtake stick in the sprint? it hurt and it was very fresh on his mind when going wheel to wheel with max the next day. (the impact a sprint race has on the main race is understated!!!!!!) in contrast, max's walls of self confidence won't shake the slightest bit even when mclaren/media tries everything in their power to question his on-track behavior. and as the media starts to doubt lando's abilities to consistently take the fight to max, he will try to take a leaf out of max's book..

"I think you should just live more freely like he [Max] does. I definitely care too much about people’s perceptions of me. I certainly think I cared way too much when I started out in like 2019-2020, though I care less now."

max does see lando as a frequent threat. he respects lando's efforts. but he can still feel sympathetic about lando's underwhelming results. does lando want max's sympathy? not at all, he wants f1 wins 😭

[2xplusungood]

I think I finally figured out why the episode "Lethal Inspection" bothers me so much, or more accurately how it tries to emulate the success of Jurassic Bark's ending and ultimately fails to deliver the same emotional gutpunch it did.

In Jurassic bark, we see Fry find the remains of his beloved pet from the past, and over the course of the episode we see him put himself through hell to get it back from the museaum, and later bringing him trying to bring him back to life, meanwhile neglecting his relationship with Bender.

This establishes two things: 1. Fry is still extremely attached to his past life where just the possibility of bringing back SOMEONE to his new life is something he will commit himself to 100%

2. For all of Bender's in your face attitude and claims he wants to kill all humans and how he doesn't need anyone, the moment he gets even the slightest hint of losing someone is enough to make him act like a small, scared child.

The episode intercuts with flashbacks to Seymore's life with Fry and what happens after Fry gets frozen. This not only fleshes out the world of Futurama, but it also gives light on WHY Fry is so obsessed with this dog, as it was the only character who knew him well enough to know what happened to him.

Then comes the ending. The tension between Bender and Fry comes to a head and then gets resolved by Bender redeeming himself by putting Fry's happiness before his own. Meanwhile Fry finds out that Seymore lived for a long time after he got frozen, which makes Fry come to the entirely reasonable conclusion that Seymore lived a full life.

The emotional gut punch comes from Seymore having never actually moved on from Fry, and while his decision was made from a healthy place, it results in Seymore living to the age of 15 waiting for Fry to come home. Its a situation thats heartbreakingly beautiful and not something you would expect from the silly future simpsons show. Its one that personally, still makes me feel things to this day.

On the other hand, theres Lethal Inspection. An episode that fails to set up for an emotional payoff, or even keeps the suspension of disbelief for long enough to have a surprise emotional twist be effective.

Firstly, it immediately contradicts what has already been established in the worst way possible. It reveals that this entire time Bender has been (or at least THOUGHT he was) immortal with the excuse of "I was just pretending to be scared all those times" which annhilates the suspension of disbelief.

Then it does something cool. It puts Hermes and Bender, two characters who havent had a whole lot of interactions, together for an international adventure, giving Hermes another chance to show off his skills and connections as a bureaucrat and the both of them develop a sort of chemistry.

At the end, Bender has to come to terms with his own mortality, and honestly had it just ended there, with maybe Hermes having to step out of his comfort zone as a cold bureaucrat to comfort his friend and coworker, that honestly wouldve been great.

But instead we get this twist that HERMES was actually the inspector that let bender go and it made him quit being an inspector.

Im gonna unpack all this now

Firstly Im just gonna let the continuity of baby bender slide. As far as Im concerned, the growth cycle of robots has basically just been a bunch of off the cuff jokes so its clear its a "dont think about it too hard" situation

This is the first and only instance of Hermes bucking the system that he's been a happy cog in his entire life. This would be fine, even GREAT if they had simply had more build up to it.

Its implied to be this lifechanging event for Hermes as he leaves the robot factory. This falls flat considering that Hermes, up until this point, has been a cold man who treats even other humans as disposable assets. Having a very humanizing moment for a character like this can be effective but you cant just randomly throw it out there, never to be mentioned again.

It establishes an undeserved connection between these two characters despite this basically being the only time they ever really interact for an extended period of time.

The Audience has never really been given reason to CARE about these "characters" as they, with a only a few exceptions like Hermes coming to terms with his shortcomings in Bender's Big Score, have mostly been vessels for joke delivery rather than fleshed out characters while Fry, Leela, Amy and Kiff have gotten the brunt of character development.

What barebones character growth it DOES have is Hermes proving that people like him ARE useful in getting things done, gets immediately contradicted by showing him acting NOT like a bureaucrat

Ultimately any emotion this scene has is based off pure coincidence. We aren't given any sort of idea of how the realization that HE was the one who let Bender slip through the cracks actually affected him as a person. Hell if anything it might've been MORE impactful if the inspector just turned out to be a friend of Hermes who showed more humanity than Hermes ever could

Now what should they have done in my opinion?

First off, instead of a "Bender takes Hermes on an adventure" episode, just commit making it a Hermes episode. Instead of doing the dumb "Sithal War" bit, just have Hermes waking up and follow him through his morning, clearly feeling unhappy with his life and who he's become. This would also be a great oppertunity to give LaBarbera some focus, instead of another 'shes looking for any excuse to leave Hermes for Barbados Slim' joke, have some genuine relationship drama as she ALSO isn't happy with how Hermes has become. Have Hermes respond in a cold, tired manner that only makes things worse.

Take that and follow the same general beats, except without the whole "Consiousness backed up to the cloud" and instead have Bender flaunting how he's not going to die of old age, only to find out that his self-repair functions are faulty. What THIS would do is have Bender face his newly found mortality without cheapening his fear of danger.

From here you have your adventure to mexico as Hermes dips his toes into his old life. Maybe drop much more subtle hints that Hermes has been to this town before as he somehow knows how to get around and where to find the factory. If questioned he could lie and say "I went to a calculator expo here one time" or something.

Then have the big reveal, but FOLLOW UP ON IT. Show that the whole experience has serve as a brief reminder of the idealistic young man he once was and then have there be CONSEQUENCES for it. Make the opening super melancholy so you can contrast it now with him going home with that spark relighting his humanity. Instead of trying to force an emotional moment with a sudden twist and music that implies innocence and youth, give the characters room to breath and let the audience form an emotional connection with their plight.

[jemmo]

i started writing my long ass post about the rooftop scene but after 5 minutes realised i was rambling about the guitar situation, and it unearthed a lot of mixed feelings, so here they are:

i want to address how the rooftop scene and the dialogue in it could be read quite negatively without context, especially if you’re just reading the dialogue for what it is and even more especially when you consider how we left pat and pran before this. bc the last time we saw them together, wai had gate crashed their cute flirty moment, pat had to hide and hear pran being all friendly with wai (and lowkey getting guilt tripped into taking on his work), hear that they were getting touchy with wai saying he’d kiss pran, and most of all he had to see that wai had brought pran’s guitar. the guitar that had been their thing, remained his only physical connection to pran when he’d been transferred, something he’d cherished and longed to see back with pran bc that meant pran was back in his life. its quite a punch in the stomach to know pran gave the guitar to wai and hear about wai taking care of it, especially if you think of the guitar as an embodiment of pran to pat, something he cared for and looked after in secret for years. bc now he’s seeing wai as the one taking care of pran, and we all know that more than petty jealousy, pat desperately wants to be the one to take care of pran. so yeah, the guitar thing was a big deal, especially when pat has no idea of what was going through pran’s head when he gave wai the guitar to look after.

so when we open on the rooftop scene and we get no mention of the guitar situation, it does throw you. i dont think youre supposed to think that a resolution happened off camera bc yeah, p’aof cuts stuff, but only when its not important, and i feel like that wouldve been important. and with that lens, of pat having these unresolved feelings towards that situation, him coming in with that line about being tricked again, i see how it could sting, speak of him being hurt and being dragged along on this bet by pran who has done something to upset him. 

without that context, this line comes across as more banter-y and jokey, just him poking fun at their situation. and this kind of demeanour brings with it an argument for him being not as upset by the guitar situation as some may think. maybe yeah it sucks, but pats reaction of just walking off could also be due to disappointment of pran getting dragged away by wai when they were spending time together. and this is where things get a bit murky bc i dont want to pat to be the kind of character that is so understanding and good natured that he can explain away his own genuine hurt. bc he does understand that pran has been through hard times, and is struggling with making their relationship a reality bc all those outside issues. and i really have no idea what was going through his head at that moment, whether he thought wai had just borrowed the guitar for a short time or had it for a while bc we dont know if its been mentioned or pointed out by either of them that pran hasnt had the guitar for an entire year. and i hate to think that pat would underplay his hurt by thinking its just a guitar, it has no meaning. bc in one way, yes, it is just a guitar and pran over a whole year has shown pat consistently that he likes him, even if it is in the confines of a bet. but also, he knows that pran displays his feelings through actions, that he puts weight and meaning in physical things, thats one of the ways he communicates, as does pat. its a means of communication that they share and is uniquely theirs. so deep down i think pat knows that pran understands the meaning of the guitar, and thats why it hurts that he gave it to someone else to look after. but the real gut punch there is that yes, pran does understand its meaning, and thats precisely why he had to give it away, bc it had too many memories, reminded him too much of pat and all his good and sincere acts of love. and he couldnt just tell himself he couldnt have that, he had to physically get rid of the thing that personified his and pat’s connection.

i think the guitar thing is well and truly where their wires are crossed, where things get messy between them. and thats why im so torn on this. bc a misunderstanding like this is something that warrants clearing up. im not gonna say it definitely needs it, that there needs to be a honest conversation where they both use the words they mean, bc thats kind of out of character for them. but some kind of acknowledgement of it from either of them, pat saying this happened and it upset me, or pran saying in understand why you’re hurt let me fix this, that would work. but in this ep at least we dont get anything, they move on. and im not sure if they well and truly just drop it, pat gets over being upset and pran moves on from the upset hes shown to have too, or if what transpires in the rooftop scene has something to do with pran making it up to pran in a kinda roundabout way by admitting he’s ready to confess. im not sure i like that either bc thats also kinda pran being forced into a confession bc of his own guilt over upsetting pat, and again that might be why pat stops him bc he doesnt want a confession from pran bc hes forced into one. him saying ok i see what youre doing, you feel bad so want to make it up to me, but i dont want a confession this way. and even in that way, its kinda iffy bc i dont know if pat would be thinking the fact youre willing to confess just to make it up to me is enough, that resolves it, makes me feel better, or he’d be kinda angry that pran would use his confession as a band aid to fix the situation. bc that too is valid, it would be a kinda cheap move to dangle the confession in front of pat just so he wont be upset anymore. bc maybe all he wants is an apology, or recognition that he’s allowed to feel this way bc what happened meant something. pran’s willingness to confess shows that it did mean something, but was that the right move to make?? honestly i have no clue

or will this whole thing get addressed in a later ep

or will it just left as an unfilled plot hole.

i really dont know what to make of it. the fact that its the first kinda upset that happens in their relationship that we’ve seen, plus the fact it involves the guitar, it seems to have too much meaning to be glossed over. maybe i just need to let it go and move on. but it brings to light a grey area for both characters that i could really see being built on in future eps as the drama increases, those being pran underplaying, disregarding and kinda invalidating pats feelings, especially those of hurt, in order to make things easier for himself, and pat maybe being too much of a good boy to the point that he lets things like this go unresolved until it snaps. pran can only push hide for so long and pat can only push to go public for so long, at the other’s expense, until something has to change. 

[re-ikrmso]

Inspired by this [post] and [this one]. They both have cool content, so go check em out!

-calm before the real storm.

-Wilbur installed the fire alarms, but didn’t put the batteries in...  

- gods, i know there was ths reference on how to type dialouge that sounded more in character but i couldn’t find it... i just hope c!tommy above sounds relatively in character. If there’s anythin you think i could improve on, tell me.

-I’m not sure if i should’ve included “chat” in the dialouge, but. eh. And that i think about it, it should’ve been “I really wish you were here right now” but...eh....

-Now, I don’t really think that c!tommy gets  snagged by c!dream right after c!wilbur left, this was really done so that the picture could turn out better but like...Can you imagine the confrontations? If c!dream came after c!tommy when c!wilbur’s not around? Would c!tommy try and pretend that he was still around in order to have c!dream stay away? (not like it wouldve made a difference in my opinion...) I wonder... 

-c!wilbur’s ending...real punch to the gut to be honest. mostly because of the fact i was in c!tommy’s shoes before in a way but those posts up there really... damn. i personally think c!wilbur just kinda shoved c!tommy’s situation to the back of his mind, or somehow had massive confidence that c!dream would be too scared to approach c!tommy ? i think thats why he just kinda. went to utah..? I still have little idea on what the hell happened in that stream but...damn. gotta hand it off to the acting. espically for c!tommy that resonated so hard for me...

[ally-writes-many-things]

Start Over (J. Halstead)

Summary: You didnt like Jay because he was always doing dangerous heroics. Maybe getting held hostage will change that?

Words: 1115

Requested: yes

Prompts:

Warning or A/N:

You looked at Halstead with pure annoyance as he did another heroic thing risking all of your lives. You haven't been partners with Halstead for long but the moment you were partnered with him, you could tell that you're werent gonna get along.

     You threw your jacket on your desk after getting back working the case. "Halstead, what the hell is wrong with you?"

      Halstead turned and looked at you. "What?"

    You rolled your eyes."That stunt couldve gotten all of us hurt or killed,"

    Halstead snickered. "Its not like I haven't done that before,"

    You were growing more and more pissed. "And that makes it okay? One false move and not only the case wouldve been ruined but our lives couldve ended,"

     "Youre just jealous that you didn't do it,"

     "I- Im jealous over a move that could have killed us? No, Halstead. Im not. Im tired of you doing this risky saves/stunts that put all of us in danger,"

     "Good thing, you're not my boss,"

     "If I was, your ass would be either suspended or on paper duty,"

     --

     After your little show at the precinct, Voight ordered you and Halstead to go and do some partner bonding, whatever that meant. You weren't gonna like Halstead until he realizes his actions have consequences. You two were just sitting in the car that was parked on the side of the street, not saying anything to each other.

     You were praying that there was a call  soon, you didn't know how much longer you could sitting here with Halstead. "Any officers available, we have a 310 in progress at 2356 West point,"

     Halstead quickly grabbed the radio. "This is detective Jay Halstead, badge number 51163, CPD Intelligence responding,"

      Halstead had drove the two blocks where you were and the armed robbery was taking place. You jumped out of Halstead's truck with your gun raised. You were already in the office building as Halstead followed you. You walked into the lobby and saw a few women were laying on the floor bleeding, Halstead goes to her. "Where did he go?"

     "I don't know,"

     "How many?"

     "Two,"

     You nodded. "Halstead, call for back up. Im going to go look for him,"

     You had opened the door to further into the building and saw there were multiple places the shooter could be at. You were about to walk to your right when you heard a door shut to your left. You quietly but quickly followed the sound with your gun raised, you got to the door of where the sound came from but the secons you opened the door, the shooter had jumped you. You two had a fight over your gun which eventually landed a ways from you becuase he had elbowed you in the gut and then punched you in the mouth. You could feel the blood running down your chin. One of the shooters held you at gun point and walked you back into the lobby where Halstead was putting pressure against one of the woman's wound. Halstead quickly jumped up and pointed the gun at him. "Put the gun down,"

    The shooter laughed and shook his head as the other shooter walked next to Jay and placed a gun on Jay's head. "I suggest you doing that,"

     Halstead slowly lowers the gun and the shooter roughly grabbed it. The shooters had forced you two to sit behind the reception desks. The two gunmen walked over to the other side of the room and whispered toward each other. You looked at Jay. "Did you call backup?"

Jay shook his head. "No,"

You looked at Jay like you could shoot him yourself. "Why not?"

"I thought we could handle this on our own,"

"Really? See this is what Im talking about. How you never realize the consequences of your actions,"

You looked up and saw the two gunmen aruging about something. You wsre thinking about something but you were failing miserably.

You dont know how long had passed until you heard sirens. Your head popped up from your lap and looked at Jay. One of the gunmen came and picked you up roughly by your arm and held you at knifepoint instead of a gunpoin and looked at Jay. "Did you call for backup?"

"How could I have called for backup when you took my radio?"

"Then how did they know you at here?"

The other gunman had left about half and hour ago.

Jay looked confused. "I dont know. Maybe the dispatch told them,"

While Jay was distracting the gunman by talking, you quickly grabbed the guy's hand and twisted it around to were he's bought the knife which didnt work out so well. It had turned into a bawl, you without a weapon and him having a knife. Before, you had managed to get the gunman to stick the knife into the wall, he had sliced your arm which hurt like a bitch but you forced on getting the knife out of his hand. After he got the knife stuck into wall, he had reached for his gun but his gun wasn't there. He looked over and saw that Jay had gotten it. "You couldve announced you had that gun before I got cut,"

"I just got it, it had just dropped the second you got the knife into the wall,"

----

You were sitting on the ambulance getting your arm patched up by a medic, when you saw Jay walked up. "How's your arm?"

"Its good. Thankfully, the cut wasnt deep enough to need stitches,"

Jay nodded and was quiet for a second. "Hey Syl, can I talk to my partner alone for a second?"

Sylvie nodded and finished patching my arm up. "All yours,"

Jay looked at you. "Look, Im sorry for not calling backup. I should have but I was really hoping that we couldve done this alone,"

You looked up at him confused. "I get that but what you did was dangerous Jay,"

"I know. I promise I won't do anymore heroic things. My actions could have lead to you getting more hurt than what you got and the people in the office could've gotten hurt worse too,"

Finally Jay saw the consequences of his actions, so you decided to take some of the blame off him. "My arm was my doing so don't blame yourself on that one,"

"But if I called it in-"

I shook my head and cut him off. "Jay, I could've called in backup too but I didn't. Im partially to blame for this too. Don't try to aruge with me,"

Jay reaches his hand out. "Start over?"

You reached out and shook his hand. "Yes,"

[otterplusharchive]

something im thinking about is like.. theres been stories/media ive consumed where knowing the plot twists or being spoilered ahead of time would have made it either an unenjoyable experience or one where it wouldve just felt like "well whats the point if so and so happens"

and i feel like in the age of constantly produced hollywood blockbusters churning out movie after movie sometimes an entire story hinges on its plot twists, sometimes the spoilers feel more important than the story itself.

remember when that one marvel movie came out and people were going wild over spoilers, and then the same thing with new star wars movies? its like the spoilers themselves held more weight than the actual experience of the story or just the entire story itself, and really often times when you take away the dramatic (and usually unnecessary and very shallow) twists in these stories theres hardly any substance or real meaning to them.

but then theres stories that i have gone into knowing big spoilers or twists and i have still been deeply moved by them. when i started watching the untamed drama i already knew that lan sizhui was wei wuxians son who he presumed was dead, and i still was genuinely crying when the father and son hugged in the last episode. i already knew that jiang yanli was going to die, in fact thats something that the show blatantly tells us within the first few episodes, but i still was crying and feeling absolutely betrayed when she died in her brothers arms. fuck, we start the entire show seeing our main character jumping off a cliff and yet when we finally have rewound the tape, pressed play, and watched far enough to get to the point in our flash back where wei wuxian is about to die it feels like a punch in the gut despite the fact that its the very first thing we are shown in the entire drama.

i think what im trying to say with this is that.. there are certainly plot twists in a story that if you know going in might make it feel a little less enjoyable, and much more well spoken people than me have already written about how the culture around spoilers is beyond bizarre and can ruin story telling, but i feel like if your story is ruined entirely by having some of the twists revealed.. then its not a good story.

a story isnt just its twists, nor is it the spoilers people get into heated arguments about seeing, a story should have substance and emotion and meaning to it and i really value and am haunted by the stories where i have been "spoiled" by things but have still been hugely impacted by that story all the same and i think that that in of itself speaks to how good the story is

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Consumed

Deans pov

I sit and pour another full glass of whiskey, downing it in two gulps. I welcomed the burn, wishing it would burn my memories away. My memory of her. My beautiful, amazing, strong, (Y/N). Its been a year and three weeks, thats 386 days i have been drowning in the pain and whiskey.

Sam walks in at that moment and sighs. I glare up at him knoeing exactly what hes thinking. Sure enough he sat down in front of me and grabbed the bottle that sat over half empty. "Dude, youre gonna have to stop this."

I growled and grabbed for the bottle but sam held it just out of my grasp. "Sam." I warned but he didnt cave. "Give it back damn it."

Sam shook his head, "this isnt helping you one bit."

"Youre right its not, cause its still in the bottle." I said grabbing the bottle from his hand catching him off guard.

He stood and ran a hand through his hair, frustration showing. "Do you think she would want you doing this to yourself?"

I laughed humorlessly, "she doesnt fucking care."

"How can you say that dean?" Sam practically yelled.

I stood up knocking the chair over behind me. "She left me sam! She walked away without even looking back, she just walked away."

Sam threw his arms up in defeat. "Can you blame her?"

"Watch it sam."

He rolled his eyes at me he knew that annoyed me when he did that. "You cheated on her dean, not once, not twice but multiple times. She watched you night after night going out alone knowing where you were going. I cant tell you the nights she would come to me crying, wondering what she was doing wrong. She tried for so long to be what you wanted but you just kept on running around with whoever was willing to climb into your car."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I could feel the tears threatning to fall but i refuse to cry. I dont cry after women, but (Y/N) wasnt just any woman. Sam laid a hand on my shoulder, i didnt even know he had walked around the table.

"Youre my brother dean and i love you, i also love (Y/N) too. Seeing her in that bad of a state killed me. Do you remember when she was put in the hospital for a week?"

I thought, the alcohol making it hard to concentrate. Then the memory flooded back. She was laying in a hospital bed both her arms bandaged up, a bandage around her throat. She couldnt talk for months.

"That was the vamp nest accident wasnt it?" I asked curious where sam was going with this.

He shook his head, "thats what she told you. I told her she shouldnt hide it from you but she didnt want you to see her as weak."

"What happened then?"

Sam sighed seemingly debating on whether he should tell me or not. "One night when she tried to get your attention you left and she just broke. I was in the library researching and she walked up to me and hugged me. She told me she loved me and to make sure to tell you she loved you no matter if you loved her or not." I opened my mouth to say something but sam held up his hand. "I had a uneasy feeling when she said she was going to bed but i never thought, i didnt know she was broken that bad. I heard glass shatter and i yelled for her, she didnt answer. Her door was locked it took me a couple minutes to bust it down. I was almost to late. She broke her mirror in the bathroom slit her arms from the inside of her elbow to her wrist and she shoved a shard into her neck."

I sobered up at that, "jesus! What the fuck?" I said glaring at sam.

"She said she couldnt live without you. I rushed her to the hospital and they said another five minutes and she would have been dead." Something inside me snapped hearing that. I fell to my knees feeling like someome was constricting my airway. Sam was saying something in front of me but everything was muffled. I ran down the hall to my room, i slammed the door in sams face but he didnt try to come in. I sat on the bed and pulled out the old picture i had in my dresser drawer, it was of me and (y/n). Back when everything was good.

I loved this picture, i rememver the day and exactly where this was taken. We were on a hunt in montana, a werewolf was on a killing spree there. (Y/n) was so excited but she never asked to go. She had always wanted to go to montana, so i asked her to come along. I actually didnt even get to ask her the full question before she was jumping in my arms hugging me tightly. This picture was taken after we had ganked the bastard, i took her to a local hiking spot that overlooked the beautiful mountains and a lake.

When we finally made it to the lookout spot she pulled her phone out and took a picture of the lake. I surprised her by asking for us to take a picture together. I put my arms around her waist and right before she snapped the picture i placed a kiss right on her temple. Her smile was so beautiful, even more so than the scenery. Her smile showed love. That was a good memory, to bad i dont have more good memories to outweigh the bad.

I pulled out my cell phone and called her number, i knew she wouldnt answer it but i had to try. Just as i thought it had been disconnected or changed one of the two. I was so frustrated not at her but at myself. How could i cheat on her? How could let her go? "Sammy!" I yelled and a few seconds later he was at my door. "Do you have her phone number? Her address?"

Sam stayed silent which made me even more frustrated. "Ill take that as a yes." Standing up i picked my duffle bag up from the floor and started shoving clothes in it. "I need them both, write them down, type them in my phone i dont care. I just need them and i wont take no for an answer."

"Dean." Sam sighed but i wasnt having it.

"Now sam!" I yelled, he stood still for a minute. I almost thought he wasnt going to give them to me, but he grabbed my phone and began typing.

"If she talks to you or sees you, and thats a big if. But if she does i didnt give you this information." Sam finished typing and threw my phone down onto the bed but he remained in the doorway. Slinging my duffle bag over my shoulder i picked up my phone and shoved it into my jeans pocket.

"Thanks sammy. If you need anything." I didnt get to finish when sam nodded and wished me good luck. When i slid into the drivers side i pulled my phone out. My heart beating so hard and fast as i looked at the address and number. She only lived two towns over. I pulled baby onto the main road before i dialed her number.

"Please, please, please, please." I whispered to myself as it began to ring. It rang six times then went to voicemail, in all honesty im glad she didnt answer. I didnt leave a message either. If i had or she wouldve answered she wouldve known i was coming for her. Now i have the element of surprise, she cant run if she doesnt know im coming.

@an-unhealthy-obsession @vicmc624

@tftumblin @holylulusworld @justanotherwinchester

[osmw1]

Head Over Heels from the Scarf I Lent Her  Chapter 5—The Warm Sun, and Lunch

“So? What happened afterwards?” “What are you on about all of a sudden?”

Ōyodo Jun—my classmate who sits in front of me—leans his arm on the back of his chair and turns to me. It isn’t unusual for Jun to start rambling about something incomprehensible, but it sounds awfully as if he’s talking about Satsuki. She’s a total lifesaver for cleaning Tooru’s room. Jun lets out a dirty smirk and looks at Tooru.

“Something had to had happened, right? She’s totally fallen for you.” “What, do you think I’ve got the balls to do anything to a girl as cute as her?” “… you’re being serious. Well, I guess not.”

For some reason, Jun dejectedly pouts as he shifts his arm from the seatback to Tooru’s desk.

“What a letdown, man. You gotta get better stories to tell.” “Why do I have to make sacrifices just to amuse you?” “That’s the way how things work. Hurry up and get a girl.” “Ow, cut it out.”

Tooru pushes Jun away, who was smacking him on his head, and then places his elbows on his desk too.

“First of all, you don’t have a girlfriend either. You better check yourself first.” “Gah! Straight through the heart! You don’t mince words, do you?”

Ignoring his exaggerated reaction, Tooru instead overhears the conversation of another group.

“Didja hear about Miyamoto Amane’s little sister?” “Yeah, dude. They she’s a total babe, unlike Amane. Go hit her up.” “You crazy? I’m not about to poke the bear, thank you very much.”

Already famous on the second day of school, eh? Well, she was well-known to begin with anyway, so no surprise there. Seems like everyone is so scared of Amane that no one is willing to get close to Satsuki. That was Tooru’s plan too, but somehow things ended up this way.

Luckily, Amane is another class so Tooru hasn’t got mixed up in her business at all. Unlike Satsuki, there’s not much noteworthy about how Amane looks, save for her chest. She’s probably number one in school in that aspect. It’s a mystery what she thinks about her younger sister, but Tooru isn’t about to march up to her and ask. And why does Satsuki look so down as well? It’s gotta have something to do with her family, but she didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it. As he’s just her acquaintance, Tooru can only remain an outsider—whether for her sake or his own. Seems like Jun has overheard the other group too. Still sitting backwards on his chair, he faces Tooru.

“Must be tough then.” “It’s not too bad. We’re gonna be going home separately.” “Huh? You two are planning to meet every day?” “Ah…”

Tooru had dug his own grave and Jun has a shit-eating grin on his face.

“You’ve finally showed your true colors.” “It’s not like I’ve done any—” “Shut up! And treat me to something with your paycheck!” “What?! Why do I have to?!”

Tooru dodges Jun’s attacks and then sits back, spacing out. Satsuki’s face pops into his mind. They’re friends or something or other now, right? She’s not alone anymore like that winter day, right? His daydreams are cut short by the bell.

  Tooru always eats lunch at the same place—a sunny spot behind the school. It’s his daily routine to sit on the concrete outside of an unused classroom on the first floor. And of course, if it’s raining or snowing, he’d eat lunch inside instead.

But today, the warm spring air lulls the sandman. To have lunch while basking in the sun was Tooru’s thing and this is his place. Or was. He spots a familiar figure and waves.

“Hey, Miyamoto. Fancy meeting you here.” “Wha—?!”

Satsuki was sitting there about to open her lunch box. Her face is bright red like she was taken by complete surprise. After making sure not a single other soul was around, Tooru sits down next to Satsuki, leaving but a little room between them. On the other hand, perhaps still surprised, her face was still flushed red.

Sitting side by side again, Satsuki is small. She’s probably not even 160 cm tall. On the other hand, Tooru passed the 180 cm mark already. Sure, the average height of high schoolers is going higher and higher, but Tooru himself didn’t even think he’d grow this much.

That’s why it was natural for him to be able to look at what she has for lunch. Wieners cut into the shape of octopuses, omelette, and veggie stir-fry with a small portion of white rice. You could even say that this is the traditional Japanese packed lunch. On the other hand, Tooru’s lunch was fried chicken from the freezer section and rice. He had just had an earful from Jun, saying how he’s soon going to get fat. So, Tooru retaliated with a punch.

“Your lunch sure looks good.” “Oh, you think so?” “I’ve only got some previously-frozen chicken and rice. Probably isn’t doing my body any good.” “That’s true…”

Though he would’ve preferred her saying otherwise, Tooru relaxed after seeing Satsuki strain a laugh. He’s not sure what to make of it, but Satsuki suddenly waving her hands around.

“Umm, I would still like you even if you get a little chubbier too, though!” “Et tu, Satsuki?”

Tooru was at a loss as he opened his lunch box. Is that my future? I’m destined to be overweight? But even then, he’s busy in the morning getting ready for school and busy at night studying. He just wants to keep his grades up is all.

Still, how scary it would be to get fat before graduating. Like, actually. Not wanting him to feel down, the seemingly flustered Satsuki gives him a little fist pump.

“It’s okay. If you’re worried about it, then I’ll help you out!”

Satsuki bursts out with absolute energy. He had been hanging his head down but looks up at the girl so full of enthusiasm and responds like a burnt-out boxer.

“Support? What kind of support?” “How about making you both lunch and dinner?!” “Huh?!”

Of course, he was shocked. Not only is Satsuki bound to be busy in the morning, but wouldn’t she be like his mom packing him a lunch? He hesitates to put such a burden on her.

“No way I can do that to you…” “It would not be a big deal. If anything, it’s hard to cook just one portion, you know?”

He could only nod back. It doesn’t seem like she’s even half-joking. Tooru isn’t familiar with cooking enough to have a sense for that, but it sounds plausible.

And this would be good for his health too. Tooru could avoid the whole getting fat thing. However, he couldn’t just ask for this favor all of a sudden; it’s a lot more time and effort. Isn’t there something he could think of? Satsuki looks up at the thinking Tooru. Her youthfulness really felt like as if she were his younger sister. He’s seriously contemplating ideas, but still almost reached out to pat her head.

Needless to say, though, Tooru had neither the guts nor the feelings for her. He shakes the thought off and keeps thinking. And then, an idea, though a trivial one.

“In that case, I’ll pay you for each lunch.” “But, you’re…” “You’ll be using your own ingredients, right? It’d only be right for me to pay for my share.”

Satsuki looked like she wanted to say something, but she lets out a small breath and nods with a smile.

“Okay then, if you’re fine with that.” “Alright, it’s a plan. Thank you, Madam Miyamoto, for saving me from obesity.” “You’re exaggerating… and call me like you normally do.”

Satsuki waves her hand as if she were a little embarrassed, making him want to protect her even more. Even if she might be feeling down from her home situation, it doesn’t seem like it’s such a big deal to her.

“Anyway, shall we eat? Lunchtime is almost over.” “You’re right. I salute you, frozen food. You have served me well.” “Frozen food sure is handy.”

Tooru responds with a quipping laugh as Satsuki teases him. And then, once again, he looks at her lunch. It looked good the first time he looked, and it still looks good now. He’d love to try a bite. Seeing through him, Satsuki grabs a piece of omelette with her chopsticks and looks up at him. Her hair flows to the other shoulder.

“Want some? A taste-test.” “Uhh, you sure?” “Of course. Consider it research to see what you like.”

Oh, thank you so much. Even Tooru was doubting whether his chicken was enough for lunch.

“Oh, you don’t have to feed me it… it’s a little embarrassing.” “Oh, really?” “Aren’t you…? Anyway, you can just put it in my container and I’ll eat it myself.”

Satsuki’s face turns bright red again after hearing what he said. Then, she silently puts the egg on top of his food. So, it wasn’t on purpose yesterday after all. Tooru then looks down at the omelette.

It looks well-made and smells slightly sweet. There’s no way it won’t taste good. He opens his mouth and stuff his cheeks with the omelette. Tooru looks over to his side to find Satsuki with a nervous look on her face.

His eyes open wide.

Delicious. It’s perfectly seasoned with both salt and sugar. There’s even slight undertones of broth to it. Tooru has never had an omelette this tasty before. It’s even better than his mother’s.

“Miyamoto, this is amazing.”

He tells her with his mouth full of food and Satsuki chastises him for being improper. The tension had been completely cut and she relaxes her shoulders.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you like it.”

Her smile is as dazzling as always. Tooru didn’t think she could smile this brightly at first, but now he knows better. Swallowing his food revealed a light aftertaste of sweetness and broth. She’s even accounted for aftertaste.

“I’ve got great hopes for tomorrow’s lunch now.” “Look forward to it, okay?”

Their time together was soft and comfortable, if over too soon.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /next/

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[searching-for-synpathy]

BJ S4 thoughts i guess

Immmmmm very sad right now partially because i just binged the new season so im gonna get over it by just vomiting my opinions all over this post so here we go

Episode 2 was absolutely. Flawless. I dont really have anything to say except that i think it wouldve been the standout episode if two others werent just as incredible.

Princess Carolyn finally is shown as not the Perfect Career Everything Is Always Fine woman she USUALLY (not always) is. Thereve been sad moments but not like the loss and drinking she dealt with this season. I nearly screamed when she cut off the two people she could always depend on...and the end of 'Ruthie' was a punch in the gut

Episode 6 is another one of the standout episodes, i think especially for people who have PDs. It was almost uncomfortable, actually, to see so much of myself in that episode. But it was really good, the writers handle it amazingly.

I love everything about Hollyhock, i loved that she was chubby, i love that she sort of shares Bojacks personality but shes not..'poisoned'..i really wanna see more of her.

Im...glad todd cut bojack out of his life? At least for now. It was weird relating to Bojack but also relating to todd when he was sick of all the guilt -tripping and sad monologues bojack would always do. Im honestly glad he doesnt give a shit, because he shouldnt.

I sort of wanted them to go into detail with bojacks experience of driving sara lynn to the hospital and holding her hand. I dont know if i still do??

Bojack went through a real and honest character shift this season, i think. It wasnt anything huge or dramatic, more like what he DIDNT do- he didnt freak out, and devise a secret way to contact hollyhock. He didnt call or bother Todd after he told him he didnt wanna be friends with him. He didnt act mean to his mom when she recognized him, even if he had total justification for it; at least in his mind, he did. That was the part of the season that made me cry- like, not just tearing up, actual sobs throughout the credits. Thats really hard for a show to do.

I guess it was more like that whole episode that made me cry. I saw a lot of my family, in Beatrice's family, in a way, and it was a lot. We saw a lot of sympathetic sides to really hurtful and terrible people that episode, and i think it was handled really, really well. I think the memorable quotes from the other seasons ("you were born broken. Thats, your birthright") are a lot more meaningful now. Im glad that this is the direction the writers chose to take the story, and im really glad BJ exists. Anyway. Yeah.

oh and if you missed the f bomb like i did it was when he said "fuck you, mom"