#i think the chapter where she rejects saiko is a huge testament to how far shes come as a character

[transmasccofee]

i think the thing that is interesting to me about teruhashi is how she not only doesnt hate the attention she gets, not only enjoys the attention she gets, but actively and punishingly chases it. While also simultaneously hating it.

She cant get any peace or quiet, she can’t express her real personality, yet she pushes herself to know everything about everyone so she doesnt have any flaws whatsoever, she can’t just be the sweet pretty girl, she has to effectively make it so everyone she meets forms a one sided relationship with her because it feels like she cares about them. not only that, She initially is totally friendless, because “girls are intimidated by perfection and anyway i dont have time” or something (i don’t remember what she actually says but it was along those lines)

in the beginning she isn’t standing up to anyone, even creepy guys who clearly dont have her best interests, who internally she hates. The only time she gets close is her brother because he not only disrespected her but publicly embarrassed her in front of someone she cared about.

Initially it seems like the only person who sees her as a human is saiki, to everyone else she’s practically an idol, or even a fictional character. Which is insane because she’s NOT. She’s a 16/17 year old girl in highschool.

And despite all of this, she pursues it. She needs everyone to admire her more than they admire anyone. She is willing to put herself through eating actual trash to achieve this. She lives her life like an idea rather than a real person, like she’s a writer except the character she’s writing is herself.

Someone please send her ass to therapy