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itsamejin · 4 years

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this love || yoongi angst

Summary: A story through the years detailing your relationship with Yoongi and all the ups and downs that came with dating an idol.

Warning: cursing, sexually suggestive content

Genre: angst, fluff, idol!yoongi, artist!yn

Pairing: Yoongi x female!reader

Premise: Based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift. Reader is an artist.

Commission Request: @minyoongail

Word Count: 7,681 words

—

You met Yoongi when he was just a trainee, ready to take on the world and bursting with energy to get on stage. He had visions of grandeur- him living in a beautiful mansion, wearing name-brand jewelry, cruising in rare sports vehicles. When times were simpler, he’d promise that you’d be there with him, indulging in the glitz and glamour that came with his fame. He’d be an idol and you’d be his muse. Yet under all those pretenses, under all those empty promises, he was just Yoongi.

He was a guy who walked in and out of your life as easily as ocean tides come and go on the shore. He taught you how to fall in love, fall out of it, and rekindle it all the same. It was a sort of beautiful asphyxiation, being wrapped up in his lifestyle and learning to accept the consequences that came with dating a celebrity.

You wonder even now as you search his name on the internet, if you had any regrets. After all, you lost too much to be with him.

—

April 2013

A first meeting meant everything to you, especially when it came to your clients. You didn’t accept jobs from weirdos who didn’t respect your craft and you definitely hated impatient ones who badgered you to finish your pieces as quick as possible.

Big Hit was a happy medium and had hired you as a contract employee after reviewing your portfolio. Although the style of work they wanted from you was not at all what you specialized in, you were happy that they treated you like an actual employee and not some sort of machine. Plus, the pay was good.

You were asked to work on some cute animal characters for an upcoming boy group that you weren’t terribly familiar with, maybe stumbled on a vlog of theirs that you forgot about. You were intrigued by the slew of trainees that sat in front of you, their palms clenched out of anxiousness.

“I’m [Y/N], one of the digital artists that will be working with you guys from now on,” you introduce yourself politely to the seven bright-eyed boys in front of you.

You were in a room with other staff members, discussing the concept of the “Hip Hop Monsters” your graphics team was working on. This was a planned project lasting over a span of years and would eventually result in collectors edition items. It made you giddy just thinking of the royalties you’d earn from it all.

“I’d like it if the animals took after us,” one of the boys suggested shyly, slightly intimidated by the large number of corporate employees there were in the room for something that seemed so trivial. “I think our fans would like the characters more if they kind of resembled our personalities and stuff...”

You nod along to his suggestions, staring at his jersey to notice that the member who spoke up was Rap Monster. It was cute how they all wore clothes with their names on them. That’s one way to attract attention, you suppose.

“Any other suggestions you guys have for us?” you ask, jotting down notes and making rough sketches as they talk amongst themselves.

“I’d like it if,” a somewhat husky voice starts and you can’t help but stare into the guy’s eyes as he speaks, “my character was a turtle.”

You burst out into a fit of laughter along with the other staff members. He had said it with such a straight face and with so little enthusiasm, yet you could tell from his slight blush that he was serious. He was cute in the way that he wasn’t trying to be.

“You resemble one,” you grin at him, drawing out a small turtle with a cute beanie on your iPad, like the one he wore in front of you. You show it to him. “Something like this?”

“Exactly that!”

He breaks out into a gummy smile, one so bright that it hurt your heart to stare at him for too long. Now you were the one left flustered. He realizes how enthusiastic he was and got embarrassed once again, scratching the back of his head to avoid eye-contact.

“S-sorry, for shouting. It looks good.”

You bite your lip from forming too big of a grin. You still had to remain professional after all.

“You’re welcome,” you smirk slightly as he goes back to trying to look cool. You can’t help but doodle his name on your iPad even as the other members shared ideas for their own animals.

Suga, Suga, Suga.

You smile to yourself. It does have a ring to it.

—

June 2013

Yoongi sees you in the hallways sometimes and wants to say hi, but he can’t because other people are watching. Though, that isn’t the only reason.

He tells himself every day that he’ll muster up the courage to go talk to you, but every time he sees your face his legs turn to jelly. Yoongi was busy with debut stages recently, but he found some free time in his schedule to approach you.

Yoongi was never the shy type, more reserved if anything else, but you had something that enamored him- intrigued him. He wanted to know who you were other than the cute girl he was stuck in meetings with from time to time.

As you sat there on your desk, Yoongi lingered in an area nearby. He would give you his number today and if things didn’t work out then that would be that. There was no need to be all shy about this; it’s not like this is his first time asking someone out.

He strides over to you with feigned confidence and you look up after a minute, not noticing how his shadow loomed over you. He sees that you’re working on realistic portraits of the members and not the cutesy characters he usually sees you drawing.

“Hi,” he says curtly, trying to seem disinterested though he was the one that approached you first.

“Hello,” you smile up at him.

Suga.

“You draw really cool stuff,” he says to break the awkward tension. “You should show it to the CEO. I’m sure we’d have cooler concepts for our albums with your work.”

You look up at him, a happy glint in your eyes. He was complimenting you, although avoiding eye contact to seem a little less nervous than he really was.

“Well, I’m just a contract worker so I don’t think I really have the authority to start up new projects out of nowhere,” you say with a smile on your face at how flustered he looks. “I feel like you’re here to ask me for something. Am I right?”

He looks away for a split second, coughing to alleviate his nerves. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why was this so difficult?

“I was actually wondering if you could come give me some opinions about some art that I drew,” he lies through his teeth, just trying to find a way to get you in a more private area than the corporate floor teaming with watchful gazes. “I’ve been trying to start a new hobby.”

You chuckle slightly, seeing right through his words. You stand up to amuse him.

“I’d be happy to.”

He leads you to a studio filled with whacky knick-knacks and dim lighting, not necessarily the best place to draw. You know by now that he just said those things as an excuse to be alone with you.

“So where’s this masterpiece?” you tease slightly at his nervous expression. How did a guy who looked so deadpan have such a giddy personality?

“Well actually,” he starts off, palms already sweaty. “I-It’s not here right now, but I think I left it at the dorms. Maybe if we exchange phone numbers I can text it to you.”

He tried to appear nonchalant, but his hands moved as if he was doing a public speaking presentation. Yoongi thought he was doing great, though growing a little more nervous at how you were giggling.

“You know, Suga,” you start teasingly, “My number is in the company directory. Feel free to text me anytime.”

Yoongi slightly cringes hearing his stage name. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he didn't like hearing it come from you. He didn’t like the unfamiliar aspect that came with using his stage name- like you two only went by professional terms.

“Call me Yoongi,” he says with genuine confidence this time. “I like it better when my friends call me Yoongi.”

You nod, relieved that you could finally know this cute guy’s name. Truth be told, you were snooping around his conversations with other people to figure it out.

“So we’re friends?”

Yoongi nods, sitting down in his rolling chair.

“I’d like to be,” he grins, patting the sofa, hoping you’d take a seat with him.

And you do.

—

Present

It’s hard to work efficiently when you’re no longer in a corporate space. There’s no boss to check up on your progress nor is there a nosy coworker trying to see what you’re doing from the corner of their eye. You missed the hustle and bustle of an office floor, but it was nice exploring your creativity through freelance work.

You tap your digital pen onto the table repeatedly, looking at the reference image over and over again. It was a sick joke played by the universe to have been commissioned to draw your ex-boyfriend’s idol group, but you couldn’t refuse the hundreds of dollars the ecstatic fangirl was willing to give you. Truth be told, she might have offered too much pay, but you took up her offer anyway. Money is money.

Yet a face you’ve touched so often, a person you’d been with for years felt so unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t like you were drawing him realistically either. The client wanted anime-style figures that resembled them, looked enough like the boys to display it as her Twitter header. In the end, it’s still too difficult to draw. The rest of the members were lined up and sketched perfectly, but there was a blank area where Yoongi’s face should’ve been.

Your wrists hurt from the constant drawing and erasing so you set it down to massage your hand from cramping. In moments like these, you hated your job.

Ting.

A message notification popped up on your phone that laid beside your iPad. You usually left it silent when you were working, but you opened yourself up to distractions when drawing this particular piece. Whoever thought it was a good idea to specialize in celebrity artwork? You pick up your phone and smiled softly at the text.

hey, can I come over?

—

March 2014

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Yoongi, happy birthday to you~~”

You cheer on with the rest of the boys in their cramped dorm. Somehow you had gotten close enough with them to be at this level of comfort, sitting crisscrossed and shoulders touching with Jungkook and Seokjin. Yoongi blows out the candles and claps his hands, a little sad that another year passed by so quickly. He kept glancing at you who was focused on cutting the cake like the perfectionist you were.

He couldn’t help but feel like time was running out, like if he didn’t confess to you now then it would never happen. Yoongi took off the beanie he wore and ruffled his hair. He was feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“Dude don’t do that your dandruff is gonna get everywhere,” Hoseok whines. “The cake is gonna be decorated with your dead skin cells.”

“Go wash your hands,” Jin commands and Yoongi could only roll his eyes.

“Relax, I don’t even think we’re gonna have cake anytime soon when this slow-poke is taking forever to cut.”

He flicks your forehead as you glare up at him.

“I could so easily throw this in your face, but I choose not to,” you stick your tongue out at him and he scoffs.

“I’d like to see you try.”

All the members groan out of annoyance.

“Oh my god they’re having a lovers quarrel again,” Jimin yawned. “Aren’t you guys sick of arguing?”

Yoongi freezes at his words. Lover’s quarrel. That was a nice way to put it.

“They’ll stop arguing when Yoongi finally-”

Taehyung was cut off as Yoongi swipes three fingers worth of frosting from the cake and lathers it all over Taehyung’s face.

“You talk too much,” Yoongi shakes his head and soon chaos descended. Cake flew in places it shouldn’t have and ended when Namjoon knocked over a glass of water, managing to break it on the floor tiles. In the end, no one got cake.

Yoongi and you were laughing amongst yourselves at the kitchen sink, washing off some of the bits that got onto your shirts.

“I’m so sorry about your cake,” you say through your chuckles. “I’ll make it up to you some time.”

Yoongi only smiles.

“Yeah, you can treat me on a date,” he replies a little too boldly. You look at him in shock, not quite processing his words.

“A date?”

He nods.

“We should go out sometime.”

You purse your lips to prevent the huge grin about to be displayed on your face.

“We should.”

—

Present

It was subtle, the way it all started. You trace over the features you drew so far, only getting to his eyes. Yoongi and you were innocent lovers for a while, keeping your trysts a secret from everyone in the company except his managers and the members. A few of your friends knew, but none of them knew BTS well enough to be all that surprised. It wasn’t all that rare to go out with a celebrity in your line of work.

You almost miss those days when he was unrecognizable. After your friends realized who he was after he hit it big globally, you felt like a secret of yours was displayed to them. Your love was supposed to be private, but his fame left very little room for privacy. You missed when you were the only one that knew of him and maybe it’s selfish to think that way, but you were past the point of being selfish.

You text back.

yeah, can't wait to see you

—

Jan. 2015

Yoongi lays you down on the couch gently. His hands caressing your sides underneath the thin material of your shirt as he pulls you in closer to his kisses. This felt different from other nights, different in that there was nothing around to stop what would come next.

He pulls away from you slightly, panting from the lack of oxygen.

“Are you sure?” he asks, drawing circles on your hip with his thumb. He was only supposed to come over to help you unpack some stuff for your new apartment and here you were, pinned on the couch and sweating from the close contact.

You nod back in response, not finding the right words to get him to continue. He pulls your shirt over your head, peppering kisses on your neck and atop your breasts. He fixates on your neck languidly, biting as he sees fits.

There was a pause as you felt him press up against you and you knew then that there was no making it to the bed. You would have your first time with him on this newly moved-in couch.

The clothes dropped to the ground as his touches get more impatient, more desperate. It all passes by like a blur and you could only remember the pleasure that came with his long fingers, the satisfaction you felt when he was inside you. The climax of it all made you realize that you loved him, truly and without regret. He holds you in his arms when you come undone, flashing a satiated smile as you look up at him. It’s like the stars were in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” you ask him, worried he was already drowsy. You didn’t want to have to sleep on the couch naked.

“Satisfied,” he says with a smile on his face.

You can’t help but swoon, his eyes fixated on you. At least for now, he was yours He wasn’t Suga, a rapper. He was Yoongi, your boyfriend.

It didn't matter to you that he was struggling to make a name for himself in this cut-throat idol industry or that he would spend countless nights cursing as one of his numerous tracks get rejected. None of that was in your mind. Only he swam through your thoughts. Only him.

“I love you,” he sighs out. He was the first to say it.

“I love you too,” you reply back and he holds you tight against him.

He’s nuzzling himself in your hair, his chest pressed up against you so his heartbeat can synch with yours. He loves this, can’t get enough of it. He catches your lips and once again you are whisked in the pleasure of it all. This is it. This is what love is.

—

Present

The piece is finally finished and you send it off to your client, hoping she doesn’t ask for revisions because you can’t handle another second of drawing his stupid face. His soft skin, his tiny moles, his gummy smile...

It's not like you hate him. It’s just... a certain contempt lingers after a breakup from a long-term relationship. It’s the type of resentment that can’t really be explained. You don’t want to see him, but you catch yourself watching his videos on Youtube. You don’t want to think about him, but you hope he thinks about you. You don’t see yourself ever getting back together with him, but you don’t have his phone number blocked.

It’s a sort of paradox you catch yourself in and you wonder if you could ever get out of it. Will Yoongi ever escape your mind?

can't wait to see u too babe

—

Aug. 2016

Yoongi hugs you from behind, his face scrunched at the nape of your neck where several marks were made from last night’s events. Your eyes stayed focus on the TV in front of you, still impressed by your own ability to afford one in your bedroom at your salary.

“BTS' SUGA drops new music video for his song and mixtape Agust D...”

The news anchor drones on and you could barely hear her through the sounds of Yoongi’s soft snores. His hold on you grew tighter as he hears his stage name from an unfamiliar voice and it makes you giggle slightly at how different the edgy music video being displayed was from the same person wrapping you in his arms so tightly.

“Babe, wake up. I have work to do,” you whisper into his hair and he only shakes his head back in response.

“No,” he mutters, pulling you into him closer. You roll your eyes, managing to pry off one of his hands as you sit up on the bed.

“Don’t you have studio stuff to do today?” you ask him, searching for a shirt to wear.

He shakes his head as his eyes start to flutter open. You both reeked of alcohol since you opened a bottle of wine last night to celebrate the release of his first solo work. He was proud of it and you were proud of him.

“Can you turn that off, I’m getting a migraine,” he whines, covering his head with a pillow. You opted to wear Yoongi’s shirt instead of your own since you couldn’t be bothered to walk to the other side of the bed to find it. You smiled at his laying figure, cooped in a fetal-like position. He was still naked, but you were with him long enough to no longer be phased by that sort of thing.

“From one bottle of wine?” you tease slightly. “I think you’re losing your touch, Agust D.”

You chuckle as he throws the pillow on top of his head towards you.

“Don’t call me that,” he pouts, “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

You stand up from where you were, stretching out your back as you make your way to the door.

“That’s because I am,” you smirk, “You know you’re saved on my phone as Sugar?”

He gives you a glare.

“It’s Suga,” he says, attempting to add some intimidation to his voice. It doesn’t work because all you do is stick your tongue out at him.

“Whatever sugar.”

He chuckles lightly and watches the silhouette of your figure exit his view. Yoongi can’t help but mindlessly follow after you.

As you exit towards the kitchen, you can’t help but hear the television from the bedroom.

“Suga has recently been caught up in a dating scandal with Suran, the solo artist, who sang with him in a song...”

Your head snaps up from those words, your skin crawling with goosebumps. You make it into the kitchen but with a heavy heart and no appetite.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing by you to pour himself some water.

“Nothing,” you say, though you sounded bitter. He caught on quite quickly. You were jealous again.

Yoongi heaves out a deep sigh and sets the glass of water down. He comes over to your angry figure and gives you a soft hug, laying his head on top of yours as if to comfort you. You try to pull away but he keeps you close.

“I’ll tell them to drop the rumors, okay?,” he says, genuinely enough to make you believe him. “I don’t want us to fight so early in the morning.”

“You promise?”

He pulls away.

“I promise,” he says, brushing a hair away from your face. “Let’s not think about those rumors right now. You and me both know they’re not true.”

You were never one to forget so easily.

—

It was around 2016 when you had stopped working at Big Hit. They halted the Hip Hop Monster brand and your contract was expiring with them anyway. You went from living a kush office life to struggling freelance worker in a matter of a second. It also meant that Yoongi and you would be spending less time together. His busy schedules couldn’t permit him to stay with you longer than a few hours and his presence slowly started to disappear from his side of the bed.

It was like a sinking ship, what you had with him. The pain starts off slow, unnoticeable. You’ll still laugh and keep up appearances as time passes, but you could tell there was an ominous atmosphere that wasn’t initially there in the relationship. Your screams start to grow silent as more problems start to stack on top of each other. It’s then when you hit the iceberg. It’s then when it all starts to fall apart.

He was still good for you, you convinced yourself, even as the currents swept you out under your feet.

—

Dec. 2016

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming?” you yell through your phone. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, holiday decorations strewn around the apartment. He promised he’d come spend a day off of his winter promotions to be with you.

“You know how hectic the end of the year gets with promotions,” he says in quiet hushes. “I can’t do anything about it. This is my job.”

You suck in your cheeks to prevent yourself from yelling. From the sound of it, he was in public.

“Yoongi, I called out of talking to a really high-paying client,” you say through gritted teeth. “And I still came home. Why am I the only one making sacrifices?”

He sighed at the other end. He didn’t have the patience to deal with you today.

“Look, can you stop being so fucking needy. I don’t need this right now.”

He couldn’t tell from the phone call, but your heart broke at the word. Needy. He thought that you were needy.

“I’m already stressed out as it is,” he continues through the phone. “I don’t need you up my ass all the time.”

“I’m not gonna wait for you,” you reply, tears threatening to spill over. “I’m going to sleep and you’re gonna get rid of all the shit you have in my apartment. I’m sick of you, Yoongi.”

He scoffs.

“I’m sick of you too.”

Yoongi hangs up, about ready to hit the wall when Jimin comes to calm him down. Small things that were never meant to be taken seriously built up until it was ready to crash down.

When Yoongi comes at night to visit you, he sees that you’re asleep on the couch. He sits next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby,” he whispers quietly. “I’ll do better.”

You nuzzled closer to him, comforted by words you forget the next day. Even when you woke up with a bad neck and Yoongi snoring onto your skin, you couldn’t find a way to stay mad at him. You knew, deep down, that some way or the other you’re gonna find yourself arguing about the same thing next week.

—

Present

Junghoon comes to pick you up. Junghoon, your boyfriend.

He’s a little uptight and too stern for his own good, but has a good heart and a knack of giving great gifts. You met him from working in the same industry, a 3D graphics designer for several video game companies. He was a new addition to your life, your relationship only about three months old.

You were warming up to him slowly, thankful for finally having a consistent presence in your life. He always made time for you, never used work as an excuse, and didn’t act cold just for the sake of acting cold. Junghoon was sweet in the way that Yoongi used to be when he wasn’t such a massive celebrity.

It was a relief to have someone like Junghoon in your life that didn’t walk in and out of your door without much of a thought to even say goodbye. Your life with him has been a tad bit dull, but you don’t mind all that much. Junghoon’s made you feel secure in ways that Yoongi couldn’t.

—

May 2017

“Your boyfriend is winning a whole ass award across the world and you’re having ramen with me?” Chaerin sighs. It’s typical for a best friend to judge the actions of the other.

“Yeah and?” you reply snarkily, swirling your chopstick around to find the perfect clump of noodles. “I’m not the top social artist according to Billboard, what’s it have to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know, you could at least watch him win the award?” she suggests. “The live stream is literally happening right now. Your boyfriend is making history and you don’t even care!”

You look at the clock on the restaurant wall. It was nearing 2 o’clock and your client meeting would be starting soon. You were in high demand as a graphic artist recently and as far as you were concerned, that was the only thing on your mind at the moment. You stare back into your bowl, suddenly losing your appetite.

“The apartment is lonely without him,” you admit sadly.

He bought one for himself and had you move in. ‘It’s easier to not get noticed by the tabloids,’ he convinced you. The modern sleekness of his penthouse was a nice change to your lifestyle, but you missed the comfiness of your small studio apartment. It was often too cold when he wasn’t around.

“You could watch it with me?” Chaerin suggested. “Yoongi’s probably so sad that his own girlfriend doesn’t even want to watch him win such a major award.”

You bite down on your chopstick harshly.

“Well he didn't even want me to come with him so I don’t wanna hear anymore about him from you.”

Chaerin squinted her eyes in your direction.

“Well I mean I get where he’s coming from. He’s still an idol, [Y/N],” she scolds. “It would be a massive risk to take you with him.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing the bowl away from you.

“I’m not an idiot, Chae. It’s not like I was asking to be on the red carpet with him, I just wanted to be there waiting in the hotel room after the show. Two nights ago he suddenly backs out and says I shouldn’t come.”

Chaerin’s jaw dropped out of shock. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Did he say why?”

You stare down at your nails, your heart growing heavy as a long pause of silence takes place. It would be better to be honest, right? You shouldn’t have to pretend like everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.

“He said he wants space,” you say, careful not to get choked up. “So I’m giving it to him.”

You clutch your thigh instinctively, remembering how Yoongi had brought that up with you just nights before. You two weren’t happy and that he needed to figure himself out before the relationship gets any worse. It’s just a break or whatever bullshit he spouted.

She scoffs.

“What is wrong with you two?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “You are not the type of person to take a break in a relationship.”

You stare bitterly into the reflection of your soup.

“I just don’t think I’ve been happy for a while,” you reply, taking a sip of your water that was left untouched for a better half of the night. “I don’t think he is either.”

—

Sept. 2017

The break lasted for months and you wondered if it was really even a break at all. It felt more like a break up if you were honest. He’d text once in a while and video call you when he was free but other than that it felt like he became a stranger, just another celebrity billboard you walked past on your way to a client’s workplace.

You’d draw sketches of him countlessly, in fear you’d forget how his face looked in real life and not through a low-quality screen. You etched every baby hair, every small blemish he’d hide with makeup. It was your method of not forgetting who the real Yoongi was because honestly, you didn’t know anymore. You didn’t know him.

Trrrringggg.

The sound of your doorbell could be heard all throughout your apartment. You stood up from where you sat on the bed, leaving the sketchbook of his face on the comforter. You weren’t expecting any visitors, but surely enough, Yoongi stood in front of you with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Hey.”

You let him in, not uttering a single word. He looks different now. His hair was black, thank god, but his face was a little softer than you were used to. You remember him being so paranoid about turning bald just a few years ago and here he was, no bald spots to be found. He looked healthy.

“It’s been a while,” you respond, hugging your arms close to your chest, uncomfortable that he was in your presence. It was his apartment technically, but you lived in it more than he did. He opted to stay in the dorm ever since he issued that idiotic break.

“I miss you,” he says in a lowly voice and you almost believe him. Almost.

You scoff.

“It seems like you’ve been having fun without me though,” you say through gritted teeth. “I thought you still wanted space?”

He shakes his head and brings his hand to touch your arm.

“No,” he swallows his saliva. “I miss you.”

You could feel his sincerity, but you can’t help but not trust him. He’s been viciously cold to you, but you find yourself pulling him closer anyway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you threaten. “It’ll really be over then, Yoongi.”

He sighs into your hair. He loves you. He does. But he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to express it.

“I promise [Y/N]. I won’t leave.”

—

Aug. 2018

He buys you flowers, your favorite kind. It’s a small gesture, but it has you jumping into his arms all the same. It shows that he still cares somewhat. It’s been a while since he’s last shown it.

He holds you closely, appreciating the softness of your body and how you curl perfectly into him.

“I want to stay like this,” you say mindlessly, just relishing in his presence.

You’re not mad at him today and he’s not frustrated with you. It’s a high point in your relationship.

“Me too.”

His words are simple but it warms your heart nonetheless. Yoongi looks at you with twinkling eyes and for a moment you think that this could last forever and that it will last forever. You kiss him slowly and he reciprocates.

It reminds you of your first time, slow and careful- like you were the last person he’d ever want to hurt.

His love, although painful at times, was good to you when you needed it to be.

—

July 2019

Yoongi’s gone again. He’s on tour, as usual, and not giving you any updates. You were getting sick of it. The constant waiting, the constant insecurities that ate you up inside. You weren’t built to endure this kind of torture.

Suga. Suga. Suga.

It rolls off the tongue but it feels disgusting coming out of your mouth. His stage name, a persona. He starts to resemble that name more and more as the days go by. You hear it so much now that it no longer registers as an actual word.

You call him.

He doesn’t pick up.

Again.

No answer.

You’re about ready to throw the phone at the wall until a soft ring was heard from the small device. You take the call immediately, smiling as if you passed the hardest difficulty of a video game. The grin would soon be wiped away, though.

“Why’d you call?” he grumbles from the other line, loud music blasting in the background.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” You sound bitter. You don’t care.

“I’m out right now,” he says, exasperation laced in his voice. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Clearly, he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Yoongi was at a party or a club or wherever he could possibly be in the streets of Shizuoka at 10 p.m.

You just wanted to chat, check on him as a good girlfriend would. He’s been complaining that you haven’t been in a while. You thought this was what he wanted- for you to care.

“I just wanted to see if you were doing okay,” you sigh. “How’d the concert go?”

“Good,” he says, clearly distracted. “Some of us snuck out of the hotel rooms to let loose for a bit.”

You nod as if he could see you.

“So you’re partying?”

You could hear him laugh at the other end, but it wasn’t from your comment. Someone else was making him laugh. Someone with a light and dainty voice, whiny as she got closer to Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he says, clearly distracted. “Listen I’ll call you back, okay?”

You feel a lump stuck in your throat. There are no words left to say. The foreign girl on the other end giggled harder at whatever Yoongi was saying and it felt like you were invading their privacy- as if she was his girlfriend and you were nothing. You hung up, your mouth feeling dry as the tears poured down.

You see a text from Yoongi just a few seconds into your wallowing. You sniffle as you read it.

don’t misunderstand. nothing’s happening rn i'm just having a bit of fun.

This time you really threw your phone at the wall.

You go to your iPad that’s sitting untouched on your desk. You open your drawing app and just let the anger in the stylus take you from there. You draw a rough sketch of a couple on the edge of a beachside cliff. The woman seems to be falling into the water as if she was pushed. The guy’s hand reaches out to her, but you can’t really tell if he was trying to grab her or if he was the one that let her go in the first place.

As the tears spilled onto the cool surface of the iPad, you sob harder. Nothing could be fixed and everything still felt broken. It was meaningless, sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothes when he was all the way in Japan snuggling up to girls that were probably much prettier and much more willing to understand his lifestyle.

You look around the penthouse he had bought for the two of you, beautiful wide panel windows and modern furniture. It mostly looks empty, everything nice and tidy as if no one lived here. It had such a stark contrast to that of his old life when he shared rooms with other members and had no place to really put his keyboard except the studio. You smiled at the memory of you all hovering around the small coffee table in the cramped living room eating ramen.

Maybe it was your fault for falling behind, for letting the world around you build up and not follow in Yoongi’s tracks.

—

Present

You guess it was then when the relationship had passed a point of no return. When everything that felt right had started to feel incredibly wrong. You tolerated his presence rather than bask in it. You heard him speak but couldn’t bother to listen. Maybe you were petty, but more than anything you were angry.

You were angry that he could break you that badly and you would still forgive him for it.

You stare over at Junghoon who’s cooking you up something on the stove. This is what you needed.

—

Nov. 2019

Yoongi was back from some big-name award show that you didn’t watch. You heard he won Artist of the Year or whatever, the accolades that he’s collected no longer having meaning as the days pass. Why be happy for him when he himself showed no signs of excitement? This was routine. He expected the awards at this point.

You walked towards him. Yoongi looked angry, though you have no idea why.

“Hey, I made dinner to celebrate,” you tell him. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through the congratulatory messages he received from other industry stars. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest.

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters. “Just leave it.”

“Are you sure?”

He scoffs. It was a simple question.

“Not in the mood.”

You give him a pointed look and sit next to him.

“Why are you never in the mood for anything?” you ask him. “It’s just food Yoongi. I just want to eat with you.”

You don’t see it properly but he rolls his eyes.

“Just drop it okay? Today’s a good day, I don’t need you to ruin it.”

You suck in your cheeks.

“Ruin?”

Yoongi sighs heavily.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he starts, facing you. “Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything.”

You grit your teeth.

“Dramatic?” your voice quivers. “I didn’t know feeling hurt was being dramatic.”

His gaze softens and he touches your arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

You shake your head, feeling your eyes dampen at his words.

“I hate your apologies, Yoongi,” you say in a hushed tone. “They don’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s shocked, not really sure how to respond. You were never one to confront him, especially when he was angry. Instead, he holds your hand softly. He was terrible at comforting people.

“Yoongi are you really sorry?” you ask abruptly. It was a question you’ve been meaning to ask for years now.

His grip on you tightened and you can’t quite read his expression, but you can tell that it’s not a positive response. He looks conflicted and he shouldn’t have to be if he really was. You force him to let go of you.

“I am,” he says, knowing he answered a little too late for his words to not seem suspicious.

“I don’t think you are,” you reply sadly. “You say sorry more than you-”

say I love you.

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence because he knows. He knows what you’re trying to say.

“I am,” he says with more sincerity, but he looks at you with an unreadable expression. “I just don’t think it’s enough at this point.”

“What’s not enough?”

You were confused. Is he still talking about whether he's apologetic or not? Or is it something entirely different?

“I do love you,” he says with a certain conviction in his voice, “and I always will, but it feels like nothing’s working out.”

Yoongi doesn’t look at you and focuses on the leather of the fancy couch. He doesn’t say anything but you know what this means. He’s about to stand up, but you grab onto his wrist.

“This is your apartment,” you say before he could say anything to break your heart even further. “I’ll leave.”

“[Y/N], no,” he says. “You don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m just gonna stay over at the dorm. I just...”

Your eyes get blurry from the tears. Even now it felt like he was looking down at you. Nowhere to go. It was like he pitied you.

“...need to go clear my mind,” he finishes the sentence, standing up to grab his coat.

You shake your head and stand in front of him. He’s usually like this. A coward. A bumbling fool who would rather avoid problems than face them head on.

“I need you to stay, Yoongi,” you cry out. “I need you to actually stay for once and comfort me.”

He looks at you, mouth open but no words come out. He smiles sadly and walks toward you, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, [Y/N],” he says and you watch him leave as easily as he walked in.

It’s not like he ever comforted you in the first place.

—

The break up happened silently over a late-night phone call a few days after he disappeared on you. You packed up your things, stayed over at Chaerin’s house, and braced yourself for what was to come. It should’ve happened sooner, you admit, but your heart still sinks when he speaks.

“I just don’t think either of us is willing to try anymore,” he says solemnly. “We’ve been on and off for the past few years and I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us to continue.”

You agree, just wanting the call to end quickly so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice any longer. It hurt to have to listen to him rationalize breaking your heart.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, [Y/N],” he says, not even a tiny bit choked up. “I think we’ve... outgrown each other.”

You knew what Yoongi really meant. He’s outgrown you.

“I think so too,” you say rigidly. Short and simple. You left nothing to be desired. “Let’s break up.”

Yoongi looks at his phone, slightly disappointed. He wished you would fight back, maybe rekindle something in him that he’s lost over the years. Yet you were silent on the line and he just had to accept it- that there was nothing left to be saved.

“Take care, okay?” he says softly because in the end he still cares- he just doesn’t want to anymore.

“I will,” you reply, ultimately hanging up the phone. You collapse onto a bed unfamiliar to you. Yoongi would no longer sleep beside you, no longer reach over to hug your side and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He was gone and you had to accept that maybe he was never yours in the first place.

His last words replay in your mind.

Take care.

That was the most concern he’s ever shown you in the past few weeks. You almost scoff at the absurdity of it all. You don’t notice how truly broken you were until the tears start streaming down your face. You see the image of him through blurry eyes and you wonder how you could let Yoongi leave such a permanent scar on your heart.

—

Present

“Do you like your eggs runny or no?”

Junghoon asks as you approach his figure. You hug him from behind and smile at his warmth. Safe.

“Just a little runny,” you reply.

He smiles and nods, turning off the heat and grabbing some seasoning from your cupboard. You detach yourself from him when you realized what he was grabbing.

“Babe that’s not salt. That’s-”

Sugar.

You stop yourself from saying it and Junghoon looks at you with concern. He chuckles at your stoic state and ruffles your hair.

“Cat got your tongue or what?” he asks, grabbing the right container this time. “Maybe I should’ve asked if you like your eggs sweet instead, huh?”

“I’ve never tried that combination before,” you say teasingly. “Why don’t you test it out for us.”

He clicks his tongue at you and splashes some salt on your face.

“I’ll pour sugar all over you if that’s what you really want.”

You laugh half-heartedly. A simple word shouldn’t affect you this much but you find yourself get more teary-eyed as it repeats in your head. It wasn’t fair to Junghoon that you were thinking of your ex in his presence. It wasn’t fair to you either.

You feel a vibration from your pocket and you pull it out to serve as a distraction from your wallowing thoughts. It’s a text.

From Sugar.

—

A/N: This was so hard to write because my mind has just been empty these days but I’m so glad it’s done now >_< Thank you to @minyoongail for requesting this story. I’ve been bumping to the Taylor Swift song now because of this commissions T^T I recommend you all to listen to it. I tried to write this in a different style from my other works so I hope this is still readable for you all LOL

I’m closing commissions temporarily to focus on the ones I have now and to also start writing my own stuff. Let me know how you feel about this, I appreciate all types of comments and criticisms <3 Look forward to Part 2!

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sveasauvageon · 4 years

Photo

On pleure mais on survit quand même C'est la beauté du requiem || HSWW

☾♔; February 22, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: X-Files Theme (by Mark Snow, I think) ☾♔; cotd: DANA MOTHERFCKING SCULLY ☾♔; Plotting + Relationships ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/PnjH23 ☾♔; Mod(s): @.miky94

Title: lyrics from Requiem by Alma

Svea Sauvageon is FINALLY open for plotting.

- - - x - - -

Audition: https://goo.gl/9JRWrR Aesthetics and Such: https://goo.gl/qDJazT Svea's Playlist: https://goo.gl/vaSFwA Svea x Henry Playlist: https://goo.gl/Wwgx4s Wardrobe: https://goo.gl/g8rBdV Sauvageon Family Aesthetics: [placeholder] All Sets: https://goo.gl/5HG1rA

- - - x - - -

Format credit to @.natasha-maree13, @.themadmonarchist, and @.lady-stoneheart because I somehow managed to mix together (rip off) all three of you.

- - - x - - -

Plotting Rules and Guidelines: I. Please put some thought and effort into your suggestions, I'm going to ignore anything that says something to the effect of "I dunno, here's my set, what do you think." That's just lazy and rude. I won't straight up ignore something that just says "friends" with no explanation, but I would appreciate more effort that that. It's doesn't have to be a George R. R. Martin book, but at least a sentence or two. Please and thank you.

II. If I say nyet to something, I don't just mean nyet forever, stay away from my baby. I just may not like the idea or it may not work with my character, and I will usually offer a counterproposal, but if I'm out of ideas, I'll let you know, and we can bounce around different ideas until we're both satisfied. S III. Please remember to attach your plotting sets. XD

☆──════♦basics♦════──☆

| full name: Svea Richelle Estelle Sauvageon

| nicknames: Vea (Vay-ah), V, the Swede, Stella (by her Grandmama), my moon and stars (Grandpapa), Richelle (her mother), princess (papa)

| age: 17 (or 16 if we're starting the group in September, but she'd turn 17 in 3 months)

| gender: female

| sexuality: heterosexual

| birth date: November 23

| blood status: pure-blood (though, not the purest. Her mother's family is a straight-up blood-purist type family, but her father's is far more open, and if you trace back 5 generations, there's a muggle-born, as well as muggles and etc further back. So technically, she is a "pure" blood, since that term is generally applied to someone whose ancestors up to their grandparents have no muggle or muggle-born blood, but there are numerous muggles and muggle-borns if you go back beyond that, on her father's side. Her mother's is as inbreed as the royal families of the real world.)

| place of birth: Enköping, Sweden

| accent: alternates between Swedish and Posh English, usually depending on her level of anger/passion

| pet: a tiger patterned kitten, super smol and super cute, but has been a "kitten" for a suspiciously long time. It's been tiny and like a baby since she first got it in her fourth year, though she simply claims that it's a rare Swedish breed. She named it Vhagar.

| patronus: dragon (Swedish Short-Snout)

| wand: Acacia wood with a dragon heartstring core, 11 ¾" in length and rather inflexible

| residence: Hogwarts Castle (September through May), Prince Estate, located near Cornwall (rest of the year, and more legally speaking, than physically, rarely spends more than two weeks there), Sauvageon Estate, located in Enköping, Sweden (generally where she spends her holidays)

☆──════♦hogwarts stats♦════──☆

| house: Slytherin

| year: seven

| best class: Arithmancy and History of Magic (honestly, she's great at all of her classes, but those two are her highest scores)

| worst class: none

| favourite class: care of magical creatures

| o.w.l.s: outstanding in all subjects

| extracurriculars: Quidditch (Slytherin Chaser)

☆──════♦appearance♦════──☆

| overall: she's quite physically attractive (and she's aware of it), she tends to draw stares where ever she goes, and that's not including her extravagant style and taste in friends. Alongside being generally super beautiful, she's also physically fit (having been a chaser for years), has high cheekbones, and an overall very gorgeous, European look.

| hair colour: blonde, sometimes magically died platinum/silvery-gold (because she's a nerd)

| hair style: long, and generally tied into a different style everyday; ponytails, elaborate braids, etc. When's she's feeling lazy, she'll just leave it free, yet it always ends perfectly straight without any effort on her part.

| eye colour: light blue

| body: slim and athletic

| ethnicity: caucasian (Swedish/British with French ancestry)

| height: 1.73m/5'7"(ish)

| style: erratic, she wears numerous styles, and doesn't really have one exactly, though if you wanted to summarize her closet in a single word; expensive would be that word. She prefers clothes of silk, cashmere, or leather, and tends towards gem embellished things.

| faceclaim: Cara Delevingne

☆──════♦persona♦════──☆

| personality: Svea is an "odd" Slytherin, as she does not prescribe to the concept of blood purity in the least, nor is she an active bully. She's Swedish (half), they're an amazingly liberal and socialist country, and she's quite proud of that. However, that doesn't mean she's not an arrogant, full of herself, elitist arsehole, because she absolutely is. In fact, one could argue that she's more arrogant and elitist than the average Slytherin, since she feels she's earned her arrogance. She's an extremely dedicated, hardworking, and ambitious person, going above and beyond for everything she attempts. She's a high-achieving, type-a sort of person, she believes that if you want something, you need to work to earn it, a line of thinking which sometimes alienates her own housemates, but if you don't have any skills of note, you're not worthy enough to chill with her. She's extremely opinionated, and passionate, and generally walks around like she owns the place. However, despite being one of the biggest elitist arseholes around, she's also, contradictorily, extremely liberal. The most clear example of her liberalism being her hatred of the concept of blood purity. She was raised on Swedish ideals, a very liberal and socialist nation where blood purity or "impurity" was irrelevant, blood is blood, move the fck on. Discrimination on things like blood status or socio-economic status, she will not allow because that's stupid af and Slytherin is not a house for morons. Despite her elitism, when she's your friend, she's heavily involved, from studying to hanging out, whatever. She cares deeply when she cares and will not tolerate any harm coming to those for whom she cares, hexing such people with barely a second thought.

Svea is someone who tends to internalize her own problems, she's highly self-aware and when genuinely hurt by something or someone, she tends to just walk away and brood silently in a dark corner. She sees herself as a leader and leader's can't go around showing weakness, so she struggles to open up about that side to even her closest friends (also most of her friends are probably arseholes, Slytherins, so that's not the best idea anyway). Having said that, she's always around to give (unsolicited) advice/offer to hex someone. She's not a very loose or "go with the flow" type of person, she hates such thinking, like, no, think about what you want to do. Fun is best when it's planned well in advance. She's mildly OCD, it's not obsession, it's the correct way of doing things. She won't throw a tantrum (generally), but will move her things back into place. However she's not what we would call neat, she leaves her things all over, though she claims that's it's "controlled chaos", and she does always seem to immediately find whatever she was looking for. Svea is rather independent, and goes about her business with little care for what others think about it. She is a little vain, but like, look at her, why shouldn't she be? And has zero trouble using her beauty to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She's somewhat aggressive and rather commanding, generally speaking to elders and fellow students with the same tone of mild to moderate superiority, but contradictorily, is quite helpful and nice to first years (what, she has a soft spot for smol, cute things).

Despite all her elitism, and superiority complex, Svea is a passionate and hardworking individual who puts her all into work and friendship. She cares deeply when she cares, and generally has an attitude of "if you want respect, earn it."

| likes: stupid puns, muggle space exploration science, quidditch (Vrastra Vultures forever btches!), winter, snow, muggle technology, EUROVISION (hey, she's a European, and a Swede, they love the Eurovision), Melodifestivalen, muggle EuroPop music, football (aka soccer, but she European, she call it by its proper name. Also, ARSENAL FOREVER BÌTCHES), Aaron Ramsey, muggle history, magical history, the stars, the night sky, a song of ice and fire (of course), Dragons, Sweden, magic, her wand (precious), Tolkien's Middle-Earth, Vhagar (precious baby), muggle comedy panel shows, herself (ya seen her? She's real pretty), emeralds, satin, muggle drinks (vodka and ice coffee with caramel are delicious, she will fight you), firewhiskey, rain, kittens, dragons, magic

| dislikes: rude people (there's a difference between being full of yourself and having manners), Hogwarts magic interfering with her muggle shít, her housemates making fun of her muggle shít (like, excuse me, but can your old af radio playing all 1000+ Eurovision songs at any time of day? That's what I thought), "woman" being used as an insult (she is a woman, and better than you, so fúck off), bertie botts every flavour bean (it's the "every" flavour that repulses her), idioticy, unearned elitism (if you wanna act superior, fine, but at least have something that makes you superior, and blood is not one of those things), Cornwall, camomile tea (it's disgusting), corduroy, roses, her things being moved

| hobbies: reading, learning, football, just hanging out with her friends (forcing them to watch Eurovision)

| habits: - eye rolling (so much eye rolling) - tends to tune out her entire environment when she's in "the zone" (no longer walks and reads because she has run into and fallen off of stuff) - twirls her hair with her wand when she's thinking (like how we use fingers) - Swears a lot - hums Eurovision songs around 90% of the time

| talents: - multilingual (English, Swedish, French, Russian, German, and Danish) - magic (she has yet to encounter a form of magic she does not immediately excel at) - memory (it's not really eidetic or photographic, because it's not instant, but after 3 reads of a thing, she can rattle off the whole thing word for word) - making references (that's a talent right? Because otherwise, I am screwed) - emotional manipulation/acting (works best on people that don't know her, she can still manipulate other people, but it takes a little more effort and time) - obsessing (again, totally a talent right because otherwise I have literally no skills)

| boggart: her mother

| amortentia smells: fresh coffee (though the taste disgusts her, hence she pumps caramel into her ice coffee), newly laundered clothes, and petrichor (the scent of wet earth after a recent rain fall)

☆──════♦family and such♦════──☆

| Petter Albrecht Alvar Sauvageon Father || FC: Colin Firth Svea was very close to her father, and inherited his love of the muggle world. Her fondest memory is attending a Eurovision Song Contest Grand finale with him as a child before being forced to move to Britain. Petter was a rather Swedish fellow, charming, pretty, very liberal, socialist, feminist. When Svea was 13, and Lili 8, he disappeared whilst he, some colleagues and magical law enforcement were hunting a dragon dealer by the Sea of Azov. He attended Durmstrang and did not like it there. Svea and Lili called him "Papa".

| Diana Elizabeth Charlotte Prince Mother || FC: Rachel Weisz Svea and her mother have a ... complicated to say the least. Well, to be honest, Svea doesn't like her very much and they do not get along. Svea dislikes her maternal family, personality-wise, she is similar to them, she's an elitist arsehole just like them, but feels they do not have the merits to walk around like they own England. When Svea was first born, Diana simply preferred to believe she didn't exist, and considers her a mistake, though as the 10th anniversary of her mistake approached, her father convinced her to bring the child to Britain to attend Hogwarts as no blood of his would attend an inferior, foreign school. Diana is a traditional pureblood, and makes clear her deep resentment and disappointment of Svea for being a blood traitor. Despite their dislike of each other, however, the mother and daughter are rather alike, both being ambitious, high-achieving type-a people. Although they maintain a strict distance from each other, her mother's opinion and lack of maternal love does bother Svea, though she stubborn refuses to talk about it and tends to shove those feelings between 60 layers of anger and bitterness. Svea calls her "Mother" with about 397 layers of salt and sarcasm in her tone.

:: Sauvageon Family ::

The Sauvageon's are a very family old wizarding family, they were originally French, and later immigrated to Sweden in the late 1700's. Unlike most ancient wizarding families (particularly the British ones), they have never shied away from breeding with muggles and muggleborns, often gaining the label of "blood traitor" from the British families, but they're Swedish, and blood density is irrelevant there. There are as liberal and socialist as their country. Despite being loathed by the blood purist-type families, they are still approached very few generations for marital matches, as they are exceedingly wealthy and when the aforementioned house runs out of options.

| Ludvig Danel Freyr Sauvageon Paternal Grandfather || FC: Sir Patrick Stewart Cutie patootie grandpa, called Grandpapa by Svea and Lili, he's super dorky and a massive nerd, easily amused and genuinely a happy fellow. His anger, said to be rare, is apparently a sight to behold.

| Linnéa Nathalie Petra Sauvageon née Magnusdotter Paternal Grandmother || FC: Dame Judi Dench Boss as.s b.tch aka Grandmama, she's generally the person in charge. Super class and elegant af, commanding, witty, and super awesome. One of Svea's role models and basically # life goals.

| Brigitta Camilla Vanja Sauvageon Paternal Aunt || FC: Gillian Anderson Classy, straightforward, elegant, and badas.s, has an unclear high-ranking role in the Swedish Ministry of Magic.

| Kåre Lukas Alexander Sauvageon Paternal Uncle || FC: James D'Arcy Pretencious, but fundamentally good hearted. He's an art collector, of both muggle and magical artists.

| Iliana Vyacheslavovichna Drubetskaya Step-mother || FC: Lena Headey Svea gets along rather well with her step-mother, and admires her quite a bit. Iliana and her father married when Svea was 4, so she's known her for quite a while, and share a rather maternal bond. She was also the person who taught Svea Russian and the two used it to tease and joke about her father in front him (because he couldn't speak it). She played for the national Russian Quidditch team, but retired 10 years ago because of injury. She now writes about Quidditch matches and players in a sports column for the local Swedish Wizarding Paper, and occasionally does commentary.

| Lena "Lili" Petterovna Sauvageon Younger Half-sister || FC: Dafne Keen Just began her second year at Koldovstoretz, the Russian Wizarding school. She's precious and adoring, and like a tiny Svea, though much nicer and less elitist, and sends Svea a letter by owl nearly daily (receiving one in return at the same consistency). They write their letters in Swedish since it's unlikely for any of their fellow students to be able to read them. They're super attached and close, and adorable af!

:: Prince Family ::

An old English, pure-blood wizarding family, they are fervent purportors of the concept of blood supremacy and purity, and proud Slytherins. Having all been sorted into the House dating back to Salazar Slytherin himself (or so they claim). Due to centuries of inbreeding with other pureblood families (who are all cousins at this point), the Princes tend to have the following traits; violent tendencies, mental instability, and some are enfeebled (though the family goes to great lengths to hide and eliminate such members). Additionally, due to their close genetics, the family additionally has trouble conceiving, generally ending up with only one child born per generation.

| Marcius Titus Polaris Prince Maternal Grandfather || FC: Sir Michael Caine Svea does not like her grandfather in the least, nor does he particularly like her, they define incompatibility between generations. She's considers him a relic of a dying time, and he considers her an uppity, idiotic child not worthy to have a drop of his blood running her veins.

:: other ::

| Lara Coburg Muggle Childhood Best Friend || FC: Holliday Grainger A muggle Svea met when enrolled in muggle schools as a child, and thick as thieves, regularly write to each other (though Lara asks the Sauvageon's to send her letters to Svea, and Svea has her owl send them to the family estate instead of Lara's home), and hang out whenever they can. She's aware of the magical world, and has been sworn to secrecy by the magical and non-magical Swedish governments (which was cool 'cause she got to meet the then PM - the muggle one).

☆──════♦biography♦════──☆

Svea is half-Swedish, half-British, her father was Swedish wizard and renown dragonologist; Petter Sauvageon, her mother; Diana Prince, is an accomplished and revered employee at the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Her parent's never married, her being the result of a liaison, which the Swedish part of her family couldn't give less of a fck about, but the British half are extremely embarrassed by. She was born in semi-secrecy, the Prince's very much wanted to pretend she did not exist, and tried to hide Diana's pregnancy in England, claiming she was taking a long earned, and extensive year long holiday abroad. The Sauvageon's, however, did not give a sht, and happily excitedly told their friends about their first grandchild (but they kept the identity of the mother a secret because they're not arseholes, and found her constant reminders to be a nuisance). She was born in the Sauvageon Estate in Enköping (estate is a really nice way of saying small castle, really), and remained in Sweden until she was 10, as the Prince's willingly and happily gave up custody of her.

From the age of 2-5, Svea was enrolled in Förskola and when aged 6, she attended Förskoleklass, school for muggle children in Sweden (both are optional for Swedish kids, "Förskola" is preschool, available to children from ages 1-5, and "Förskoleklass" is preschool class, which I guess is effectively a year of kindergarten, for children aged 6). She made numerous muggle friends, including her lifelong childhood best friend, Lara Coburg, to whom she still regularly writes, and visits when back in Sweden, and to whom she revealed her magic. She attended 4 years of the muggle compulsory school in Sweden (which is for ages 7-16, and basically the north American equivalent of elementary through to high school), with the plan being that she would "transfer" to private, boarding school once she reached the age for magical schooling. However, when she was 10, her mother and maternal grandfather came to Sweden to claim custody and make her a British citizen, to meet the residential requirements to attend Hogwarts. The Sauvageon's initially refused, but as they loathe their local home school, Drumstrang (a very non-Swedish Scandinavian school, because Sweden is liberal af and Drumstrang is magic racist af), they agreed.

Svea spent a year living with her mother and maternal grandfather before being admitted into Hogwarts and did not like it in the least. They were horrified and appalled by the rambunctious, muggle-friendly, aggressively European child she was (and tbh, still is), and spent the year trying to force it out of her. They kept her isolated and cut off all her connections to her father's family, and tried to instruct her in the ways of pureblood, often screaming in frustration and anger when she argued back or simply replied with "so what" or "why". They later took to locking her in rooms, and starving her when she started leaving the estate on her own to mingle with the local muggle population. Eventually, their little war came to a head when they broke her electrical toys from her father's family, and in her fury, she magically set fire to the Prince Estate (on purpose, though they claimed it was an accident to the Improper Use of Magic Office). The fire resembled the Fiendfyre curse, and it was stronger than any fire Svea had produced before. Although no one died, the entire estate became ruins, and took 4 ministry workers plus her mother and grandfather to contain. After the incident, Svea was able to reconnect with her paternal family (crying to the ministry people there about missing her father and worried that her grandfather would say no because he's jealous of her other grandfather, yes she was faking her tears, anyway, they fell for it and informed her Swedish fam who immediately apparated to the Prince Estate). The Sauvageon's offered to pay for the restoration of the Prince Estate, but in exchange, Brigitta Sauvageon would be staying with them until Svea left for Hogwarts. Once that was settled, Svea and her maternal family became akin to strangers living in the same house, with Marcius Prince calling Svea and her aunt "unwelcome guests".

Svea excelled at Hogwarts from the get go, she ran into some trouble with blood purists in her house, but due to her indifferences to the opinions of others for whom she has no respect, and long list of accomplishments, bullying hasn't really been an issue for her, she's really far too confident for bullying to even work though, like what would they say?

Would-be bully: you're ugly. Svea: b!tch, have you seen me?

Would-be bully: your blood is impure and polluted by the filth of muggles Svea: yeah, and so is yours, it's called species propagation.

Would-be bully: you're a worthless blood traitor Svea: *points at all her awards and grades*

Anyway, she's active in school events, has too much pride for school and her house, (also Sweden) and SLYTHERIN IS SO WINNING THAT HOUSE CUP THIS YEAR MOTHERFCKERS!!!

☆──════♦other♦════──☆

‣ her name is poorly made pun, like, "pun" is actually pushing it. "Svea" comes from a personification of Sweden, a derivative of "Svear", the Swedish name for the ancient Germanic tribe; the Swedes. "Svear" also later evolved into "Sverige", the Swedish name for Sweden and means "the realm of the Svear". Her surname, "Sauvageon", is a French form of "Savage", an English word, nickname, and surname meaning wild and uncouth, which was derived from a Middle English form of Old French; "salvage" or "sauvage", which meant untamed. Effectively, her name means Savage Swede, the flip around being a ref to the annoying flip around in the French language with certain terms and/or phrases (also in other languages, but French is the one I got beef with as a Canadian person). Richelle and Estelle are just because I like frenchy names that rhyme, and they're vaguely posh sounding, so I'm assuming her mother picked those ones. I say, assume, I made these characters, she did pick them for Svea.

‣ She could've been a Ravenclaw, but her ambition heavily outweighs her thirst for knowledge

‣ Her muggle electronic devices somewhat function at Hogwarts, working around the magical interferences by having them be powered by magic (so her laptop, phone, etc now never die, and are partially magic, decreasing the interference from all the magic around the castle), however, she is still trying to receive satellite/etc signals which don't work in the school, and she's forced to keep those features off because otherwise her screen goes all wonky. Hurray for having downloaded everything though. Enjoy X-Files and Eurovision Slytherin House. XD

‣ uses a ridiculous array of glitter and nerd-design pens (ink and quills are aesthetically pleasing, but impractical. Come on, the pencil was invented in fcking 1564)

‣ obtained her appariting license earlier than would be possible (because birthday makes her 17 after the usual UK test dates) by applying for it at the Swedish Ministry of magic, which issues Apparition licenses at 16 (completely made that up, but whatever, I don't like half of the few things we know about JKR's Sweden, they're not very Swedish. How is Drumstrang a Scandi school? Scandi's are so liberal, I get it's a German, wwii stereotype, but make it limited to German and Germanic states then, the Scandi's are liberal af. Well, Sweden is, also I think Finland, and probably Denmark).

☆──════♦plotting ideas and notes♦════──☆

[I'll add more as I think of them]

I. She's extremely competitive with Ravenclaw's and loathes that they have the label of being the "smart house", since her house is just as intelligent, and she considers herself above them. Her arrogance and elitist attitude come out at their highest when she's arguing with a Ravenclaw.

II. Your carer; possibly limited to Slytherin house, but she cares so you don't have to. Although, that caring is also limited, there's only so many people she can care about. Everyone doesn't deserve it.

III. Her relationship with Slytherins may be a bit complex depending on where your OC stands on blood purity. Svea's an elitist, yes, but she's not a blood purist, and has plenty of muggle-born and muggle friends, her own mother has labeled her as a "blood traitor", so if you're of the "pure bloods are the bestest, kill everyone else", you may run into some problems.

IV.

☆──════♦plotting♦════──☆

--Slytherin--

↪ Damien Greaves | @.natasha-maree13 House: Slytherin FC: Matthew Daddario Info: One of Svea's best friends, despite his psychopathy. She's able to easily discern between when he's messing around, and when he's being genuine. Both being high-achieving, superiority-complex ridden as.sholes with a shared fondness for certain muggle things, they get along fantastically, despite one of them lacking the major spectrum of human emotions. They have their own little clique, The Slytherin Silver Trio, and it's better than yours will ever be. XP ---> side character plotting: Lyra Greaves ------{FC: Alexandra Daddario, House: Slytherin} -----tbf

↪ Eloise Avery | @.themadmonarchist House: Slytherin FC: Abbey Lee Kershaw Info: Evolved into buddy-buddy friends more recently, and are Eurovision besties! Okay, they have like a close bond and other proper friendship stuff that I'm gonna ramble about, but, clearly, EUROVISION IS THE BEST AND MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!!! Okay, I'm chill now, mostly. They first met as children, when Svea's family were trying to teach her the "enlightened" ways of pureblood-ism, didn't go well, the Avery's had their precious heir exposed to glitter muggle music for the first time. At Hogwarts, they didn't particularly get along in the beginning, due to Eloise's connection with the dou.che crew (as I call them, basically Blood Purist Bullies), however, they are quite similar later bonding during o.w.l.s and post-Eloise leaving dou.che crew over their similar pasts, passion for muggle stuff, and needing to outstanding on everything. Sliver Trio member numero trois!

↪ Octavia Thygeson | @.melophilia-c House: Slytherin FC: Natalia Dyer Info: Despite Svea's general elitist attitude, they along quite well, Svea showing the newbie around Hogwarts and such, and later bond over their close ties to members of Gryffindor House, who are generally seen as the enemy in Slytherin. ---> side character plotting: Mason Thygeson ------{FC: Hugh Dancy, House: Gryffindor} ------Become friends through Octavia, apparently her "spunk" reminds him of sister. Also friends through Henry. Also, also, Svea aggressively ships him with her bestie, Syn. Ship shop and all.

↪ Loralei Expura | @.thespian-at-large House: Slytherin FC: Dove Cameron Info: Like a little sister to her, Svea is very protective of Loralei, who is prone to being bullied for not being a pureblood in their house. She also convinced Loralei to join the Slytherin Quidditch team, and ensures Loralei takes her pills by enchanting her belongings to constantly remind her until she takes them.

↪ Leida Nelms | @.stackmel House: Slytherin FC: Ashley Benson Info: Friends, more or less. Certainly some American digs on Svea's part, but generally get along being teammates and housemates.

↪ Chanel Black | @.daily-donuts House: Slytherin FC: Ruby McCarthy Info: Svea and Chanel despise one another. The only exception is on the quidditch pitch where they are forced to work together. Chanel saw Svea as the edgy cool girl, but Svea just saw Chanel as an obnoxious immature teen. To be fair, she attempted to be polite with the girl which misled Chanel into believing they were friends because of her bubbly personality. Unfortunately, Svea told her the truth whenever she noticed the teen hanging out with her more and more. Chanel’s hurt grew to her being insecure about herself and a passionate hate to Svea. They compete in quidditch every practice and they both attempt to one up the other. Chanel secretly wants to still be friends with Svea but she knows that will never happen. Even though they are so similar, Svea’s coolness was too much for them to have a positive relationship.* *written by @.daily-donuts

↪ Moses Park Jr. | @.koby House: Slytherin FC: Kim Woo Bin Info: They've been friends since first year, as Svea does not care about blood purity and bonded over their shared love for the muggle sport of football (but Arsenal is better than West Ham)! She's also one his tutors.

↪ oc name | @ oc owner House: FC: Info:

--Hufflepuff--

↪ Syn Lothbrok | @ghostpastey House: Hufflepuff FC: Zippora Seven Info: SlytherPuff BFFs aka the Scandi's/Scandinavians, they're childhood friends, both being from wealthy influential families in Scandinavia, and they're a solid salty/aggressive duo at Hogwarts, with a penchant for snarky lines and exploding potions *cough* Syn totally makes them explode no matter how closely the instructions were followed *cough*.

↪ Isabel Sanchez | @.polystar10 House: Hufflepuff FC: Ana De armas Info: Sort of friends, they initially interact through Svea's bestie (Damien) messing around and manipulating poor Isabel, Svea never really interfering unless it goes way too far, and even then, it's really only take down a few notches. Their interactions increase due to Isabel's close relationship with Svea's boyfriend (urg, what a lame word, paramour, through her paramour), and end up hanging out more.

↪ Lyrae Mino | @.skyfalll House: Hufflepuff FC: Taissa Farmiga Info: Share a friendly rivalry, but get along well, and have a mutual love of the stars (astronomy).

↪ oc name | @ oc owner House: FC: Info:

--Gryffindor--

↪ Henry Clark | @.lady-stoneheart House: Gryffindor FC: Ben Barnes Info: SlytherDor power couple, began dating in their 6th year, bonding over their shared love of muggle sports team; Arsenal FC. Generally speaking, they've always got along, Svea has always been against the stupidity of blood purity, which many of her Housemates buy into, and which Henry abhors, however, she has bully friends, and is somewhat complicit in their behaviour since she doesn't really step in unless it's the aforementioned friend is being stupid (aka going "mudblood"), or is going too far, so they have been on opposite sides of (metaphorical) battles numerous times. They're also extremely competitive with each other, mostly arising from their Quidditch teams (the ones they play on and support), as well as Svea's general refusal to ever lose. ---> side character plotting: Xander Carlyle ------{FC: Jacob Tremblay, House: Gryffindor} ------share a sibling like relationship, having bonded closely over the holidays, with Xander immediately running to Svea for help with homework and all other problems, inciting a small amount of sibling-like jealousy in Henry (Henry, at some point: he's my sort of brother, get your own).

↪ Isadora Franks | @.agentdanascully House: Gryffindor FC: Lily James Info: Share a friendly rivalry, initially instigated by Isadora. Generally politely competitive, though they've had nicer moments, mainly due to mutual hatred for blood elitists, though Svea unintentionally makes Isadora feel insecure around her, plus stubborness gets in the way of a deeper friendship.

↪ oc name | @ oc owner House: FC: Info:

--Ravenclaw--

↪ Kenton Prewett | @.miky94 House: Ravenclaw FC: Dylan Sprayberry Info: They are acquaintances that run into each other during events and on campus, but nothing more.

↪ Minah Delacroix | @.maybones House: Ravenclaw FC: Kim Doyeon Info: tbf ---> side character plotting: Tyler Lee ------{FC: Jeon Jungkook, House: Slytherin} ------tbf

↪ oc name | @ oc owner House: FC: Info:

☆──group members──☆ Gryffindor: @/know-my-value || @/short-infinities || @.lady-stoneheart || @/snazzy-k33 || @/juliefel || @/novitious || @/forver-young0001 || @/fandomgirlofficial || @/crythin || @/ekaterina33-01 Hufflepuff: @/followyourbliss || @.ghostpastey || @/iristaha || @.skyfalll || @.polystar10 || @/hxmiltrxsh || @/violetrose74 || @/moon-child-dreams || @/me-myself-and-survival || @/dashingpirate Slytherin: @.drownedinmoonlight || @/lightyears-away || @.themadmonarchist || @.natasha-maree13 || @.melophilia-c || @.koby || @.thespian-at-large || @.stackmel || @.daily-donuts || @.little-miss-sociopath Ravenclaw: @/buffykdh || @/monkeymanda22 || @/maybones || @/the-fault-in-our-paper-towns || @/general-sux || @/fandom-fashion || @/chrissykinz || @/hear-my-plea || @/oohlalyla ||

#polyvore #squarezy layout #mine #svea sauvageon #plotting #hsww

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