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lcuistcmlinscnarchive · 5 years

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After Niall’s Party | Lou + Haz.

Where: Louis’ House When: Niall’s Birthday Sept. 2018. What Happens: Harrys stays the night after everyone goes home and the boys allow themselves to be physically closer than they have been in a really long time.

Louis: The point when Niall had fallen after the karaoke in the very, very early hours of the morning had been when Louis had said to himself that the Irishman couldn't get worse. Spoiler: he did. And to say that he wasn't slightly relieved to get his best mate out and into the Uber would be a lie. Drunk Niall was a lot, and Louis sent him on his way with a hug and a 'text me in the morning so i know you're alive - lou :)' written on his hand. As he stumbled slightly back up to his home, Louis stopped along the way to say goodbye to another group of friends, hugs all round before he moved back into his home, knowing that Harry was still there. Louis rejected the thought that he'd ever leave without saying goodbye, and he'd seen him not long before he'd helped Niall out to the cab.

Harry: Harry was in the living room area trying to get the TV back to its regular setting, since the party had dwindled down to very few people left. He had one single button on his shirt still clinging shut, his curls were messy and he had shiny, sleepy eyes, he wasn't sure where he'd set his phone down and he could not find his *shoes*. But in his drunkenness, he'd finally got the TV back to normal and turned the volume down to a more reasonable level before setting the remote down on the back of the couch, picking up the bottle of water that Louis had given him earlier. He turned around, smiling lopsidedly at him when he came into the room, "Hey, Niall head home?"

Louis: Louis got stopped once more in the doorway to say goodbye to some more people, and by the time that he was in the house it seemed that a majority of people were gone and the few that were lingering were getting their stuff together to follow suit. He looked around for Harry, spotting the younger man's curls through the doorway and automatically moving towards him with a slightly drunken swing in his step, a casual wave thrown at a guest as she made to leave. "Yeah, yeah, we're off parent duty," Louis joked, running a hand through his hair and sighing dramatically, "now we just gotta try and get him through to twenty six, huh? More importantly now, Haz, how *you* doin'? Feelin' alright, yeah?"

Harry: Even if he was pretty *lit*, Louis saying the words 'we're off parenting duty' to him made his heart flutter and his nose crinkle up a little in a way he probably shouldn't have allowed it to, knowing he'd simply been making a joke of how they'd taken over the job of looking after Niall the deeper into the night they got and the drunker he became. "Feelin' good, yeah, feelin'... *lit*, as they say." He grinned, unscrewing the cup from the bottle of water and bringing the mouth of it up to his lips to take a quick sip from it. He didn't really want to ask the next question, but the part of him that felt like he should overrode his lack of desire to, so he went ahead and did so with some playfulness but mostly reluctance in his tone, "S'that that... s'that mean I should be heading out too, then? Because ah, if you think so, then this then becomes the part where I admit I've lost my shoes and phone." He admitted with a laugh, running his fingers through his hair as his cheeks went just the slightest shade of pink with embarrassment as how much he'd allowed himself to drink. The joint they'd smoked with Lauren and Natalia before they'd headed out had been the icing on the already very drunk cake for him, and he was practically floating by then.

Louis: Louis pressed his lips together in a lame attempt to keep his smile on the down low, but the corners of his lips gave him away as he took in 'lit' Harry. He'd always loved this version of him - flushed cheeks and messed up hair, dazed eyes and that raspy, drunk edge to his voice that Louis would never stop loving. Honestly, Lou had loved every version of Harry. It was just suddenly painfully evident to him that he hadn't seen this side of him in years. "No," he said way too quickly to be chill as Harry mentioned leaving, "I mean, uh-" a soft laugh escaped as he tried to cover it, clearing his throat, "you can stay," he paused again, adding quickly, "if you want to. I mean, we can look for ya shit tomorrow, then. When we're in better places t'do so. The, urr, the guest room - it's made up. I didn't mean.." he cleared his throat once more, eyes finding Harry's instead of looking down at the ground. "As long as that's not where Niall took his mystery girl earlier, anyway."

Harry: Harry didn't even try to disguise the smile that came over him when Louis was so quick to say the word 'no' at even the suggestion it might be time for him to head home, wondering what was going through his head for the umpteenth time that night. "I did *drive*, so I mean... s'probably for the best, yeah?" He said about staying, even if the thought of it was making his drunken heart race. Louis hadn't actually implied that he spend the night *with him*, just that he could stay over. 'Like mates'. He tried to tell himself, but he wasn't buying it until he heard Louis clarify that he definitely meant the guest room, that he hadn't meant it like that. And Harry accepted that with a nod as he met his eyes, drunken sleepy smile unfaltering. Even if he had come to the party driving his own car and opted to drink anyway, he still had never expected Louis to invite him to stay in his guest room at the end of the night. That meant that inwardly he was thanking God or the universe or whatever force exactly it was that had granted him something like that; that had allowed him to have done something so right even if it was just having a few too many and losing a couple of his belongings around Louis' house throughout the course of the night. "Hopefully he was respectful enough to just use the guest *bathroom*. But if it's gross I can always take the sofa." Harry knew it wasn't the kindest thing to say, but it was more a dig at how Niall had interacted with Barbi and really any other woman who'd come near him over the course of the evening. "Thank you. For offering, I mean, s'awfully nice of ya." He was aware that Louis just as easily could've called Harry an Uber just like he called one for Niall, told him to come and pick up his things when he found them in sobriety tomorrow. But he didn't. And that filled the younger man with a sense of hope he should have known better than to have.

Louis: Lou had his hands behind his back, one hand holding onto his other wrist as he tried not to drunkenly sway too much. It was safer that way, to be sure that he wasn't going to make the fuzzy decision to reach out to Harry's mostly open shirt and pull him closer - to be sure he wasn't going to do anything to fuck this up. The cigarette he'd had about forty five minutes prior had sobered him up barely enough, but that didn't mean he truly trusted himself with Harry. Things just felt so delicate. "Alright, yeah, s'alright," Louis said with a soft smile of his own, relief washing over him when Harry agreed and didn't react like it was a weird offer. He took a step closer, reaching over to the back of the couch and switching the tv off with the remote, suddenly painfully nervous. "Lemme show ya where it is," he said simply, knowing they both needed to pass out. He then let his hand find the small of Harry's back, head nodding out to the hallway to signal 'after you', eyes darting through the kitchen when they passed it to check that the door was shut. The house was a mess - even more of a mess than Louis usually had it - but it wasn't bothering him at all. He was more focused on letting Harry take the steps first, hand sadly falling from where it had been resting on his back but Louis was still half watching to make sure Harry was alright, the other half paying attention to his own feet and making sure he didn't trip forwards into Harry and create a small domino effect. "S'the last door on the right, Haz," he spoke soft, his accent always thicker when he had been drinking but less so when he was sleepy. Lou felt his own body begging to lie down, to give into drunken exhaustion, but he wasn't going to do that until he knew Harry was tucked up in bed with everything that he needed.

Harry: "Y'are all done playing host, yeah?" Harry asked, drunken grogginess shining through in the way his words all ran together a bit, but not enough to make it hard to understand what he was asking. "Needa lock up er anythin'?" He asked softly after watching Louis turn the TV off, hyper aware of his hand at the small of his back even if he wasn't all that aware of much else. He didn't know what time it was, or if they were really the only two people left in Louis' house. He didn't know how many lights needed to be turned off or what a mess there was to be cleaned up, all he knew was that they seemed to be on the same level of drunkenness, and that was enough for Harry to go on without feeling like he was being overly hopeful. He carefully stepped forward, the saunter in his step that came with having too much to drink alive and well as he walked, which had him taking notice when he felt his ex's hand drop from his back. The entire way down the hall he was considering his next move, what he was going to say or do to stop Louis leading him there from being the end of the line for the night. And then he stopped, slowly turning to face Louis completely after opening up the door to the guest room that'd been pointing out to him, just holding onto the knob and studying his face for just a few seconds. He could see that they were both just as close to likely passing out the moment their heads hit the pillow, but that didn't stop Harry from not wanting their time together in consciousness to end just yet. He didn't want to say goodnight. So instead out came a question so daring and without consideration for consequence, it was like his last remaining remnants of liquid confidence were speaking for him, trying to ring the last bit of magic out of the night so he could savor it for all it was worth. He only hoped Louis wanted to savor it just as much. He met his eyes, head tilting just a bit as he felt for the light switch to the guest room and flicked it on, swaying a little where he stood, "...Lou, will ya..-" He wet his lips, barely a beat of hesitation before he just did it, "...D'ya think you can...stay?" He asked, his heart feeling like it was going to beat out of his chest by the time he got the words out, "Sleep with me. Jus'... next to me?" He didn't realize it sounded a little like he was pleading and less like a *casual* request until those last three words.

Louis: Technically he wasn't done playing host since Harry was still there, but it didn't feel that way. Maybe because the only time that he'd known how to 'host' with Harry around before then was to do it with him. It felt like parties they'd thrown together years back, making their way up to their bedroom together when everyone had either passed out or gone home. All Louis could do was reassure Harry that he'd sort the house out tomorrow, take the steps one at a time and follow him to the guest bedroom as directed. He told himself it was so that he could make sure the room was alright for Harry to stay in, but in reality he was just trying to cling onto the night and make it last that little bit longer. When Harry turned to face him, Louis got confused and let his eyes scan the other's face as if there were a clue there as to what the problem was. In reality, Louis just found himself subconsciously taking a small step closer to the man who still felt so familiar, hand coming up to rest on the wall next to them to steady himself a little. Their eyes meeting gave a drunken Louis something to focus on, and the first three words that came from Harry's lips had Lou wanting to say 'yes' almost as quickly as he'd said 'no' back when Harry had mentioned leaving when they were downstairs. Lou could feel the sincerity in the question, but it felt like such a bold thing to say that for a beat he thought he was hearing things. They'd so carefully sidestepped these moments - Louis generally keeping his hands to himself whenever he felt the itch to reach out to touch and instead saving everything for those long hugs every time they met or parted ways. But the second the question fell from Harry's lips, Louis wanted it so bad. If he were sober, perhaps common sense would reason as to why this wasn't a good idea. But he wasn't sober, and he couldn't say no to Harry like that. Lou nodded, only slightly at first before it became a little more sure. "Yeah, yeah - course," he said softly, hand finding its way to Harry's back again to show that he'd follow him into the room, even though he was half expecting the younger man to suddenly change his mind. His heart was thumping, his mouth had gone dry and suddenly it wasn't only the alcohol making him feel woozy. But all of that didn't matter when Lou's mind was just a constant stream of Harry Harry Harry.

Harry: The moment that he saw Louis nod his head yes in response, everything started to feel more like a dream. The fuzziness from the combination of the excessive amount they'd both had to drink and the weed they'd smoked not quite an hour before had already been enough to make reality feel slightly altered around them, but this shift in the atmosphere between them was indescribably different than anything else that had happened over the course of the evening. He felt Louis' hand at his back again and even if a part of him was nervous, he found the contact put him at ease. As they stepped deeper into the room Harry felt butterflies fill his stomach and his chest, but in his state of still clinging to that last bit of fearlessness that came with the level of drunkenness he was right before he his body was ready to pass out, he didn't let those nervous butterflies stop him. For a moment, he even thought those butterflies were going to dare him to do what he really wanted, which was to lean down and kiss him with more urgency than he'd ever kissed him with before. But he didn't do that. Instead he let them guide him, resulting in him taking a step forward, turning so that his body melted into Louis' in an act of pure adoration as he expressed how grateful he was that he hadn't turned him down when he'd asked him to stay, that he hadn't simply sent him home in an Uber in a way that could have left him questioning everything and feeling empty. His chin came to rest comfortably, familiarly in the crook where Louis' shoulder met his neck as his arms wrapped around him in a surprise embrace. His eyes drifted shut for just a few seconds, and he found himself breathing Louis in, the point of his nose just barely grazing his throat from where he had his face turned into it. "Thank you." His voice was throaty and gruff when he finally spoke, "F'not kickin' me out." He tacked on in a tone that suggested more lightheartedness, more joking, but it was clear from the way he still held onto Louis for a moment that he meant exactly what he said. "Or for tellin' me no." When he finally pulled back from the embrace it was with tangible reluctance, and his fingers went right to the last remaining fastened button on his shirt, plucking it open. He'd barely taken half a step back from Louis by the time he was tugging it down his shoulders and letting it drop thoughtlessly to the carpet, hands traveling down to unfasten the buckle on his belt, fumbling just a little with it and the fly of his jeans. Once he finally managed and began to work them down his thighs he wound up backing himself up against the edge of the bed and just letting himself have a seat on it, abandoning the tight trousers he'd worn just for the occasion right there with his shirt, "..Ya want the other side, don't ya?" He asked when he looked up at Louis, worried that he'd somehow forgotten which he preferred over the last year since the last time they'd dared to sleep beside one another like this. Even then, neither of them had ever been drunk or daring enough to allow it to happen with so few layers and so much vulnerable inhibition between them.

Louis: Louis' hand on Harry's back was gentle, the pad of his thumb rubbing lightly across his skin through the material of the shirt in a show of affection that he wasn't aware that he was doing. He then kicked the door shut behind them, not bothering when it came to rest still slightly ajar, and before he knew it Harry's arms were around him and suddenly he was able to feel each time the younger man exhaled. All that his fuzzy mind could compute was the feeling of soft curls against his cheek and strong arms around him, with Louis melting into both simultaneously as he felt the most relaxed that he had done throughout all of his hosting duties. But then again, Niall's drunken fall and Ariana's embarrassing confession of love and Anwar's over-indulgence in harder drugs all felt like worthwhile stresses if it meant that he got to fall asleep next to Harry at the end of the night. "Thank you for stayin'." It was barely a whisper but he knew that Harry could hear it due to the otherwise silence of the room and the way that he felt the shell of the younger man's ear brush against his own lips as he spoke. Louis didn't mean to watch as Harry let his shirt slip to the floor but he couldn't look away, blue eyes following the way that the shirt fell down his biceps and wanting so badly to reach out and touch because he just needed to be close. But he just couldn't, regardless of how easy it would be to take a small step forwards, get up onto his tiptoes a little and kiss him. He couldn't do that when they just needed to get in bed, and Louis needed give into the sleep that his body was craving. Everything between them was so delicate already, he almost hated himself for even letting himself think about it. Lou crossed his arms over his front to grab the hem of his band tee, pulling it over his head in a surprisingly smooth motion and abandoning it on the floor. The jeans weren't so smooth, and he stumbled a little as he pulled them down and kicked them off alongside the shoes he'd been wearing to go out and take Niall to the Uber, but they lay there abandoned eventually. When Harry remembered his side of the bed, Louis smiled lazily and nodded his head barely, "yeah. Yeah s'perfect. If y'get in then I'll get the light." His voice sounded tired even to himself, socked feet padding back to the light switch to flick it off when he could see that Harry was ready and then make his way around to the other side, hands feeling out for the fabric of the comforter and navigating that way. The moment that his head hit the pillow, Lou could feel the effects of the alcohol and weed magnify whilst his muscles started to relax into the sheets. The wave of comfort, familiarity and affection that came from lying next to Harry settled him even more as he shifted onto his side to face his ex, arm tucking underneath the pillow as he lifted the other one ever so slightly in the air. The "come 'ere," that followed was whispered low enough for Harry to pretend he didn't hear it if he wanted to - maybe he could pretend he was already asleep - but they both knew that the offer was out there. Louis just needed to be close, and the fact that Harry had asked him to stay told him that the need was mutual. Because cuddling and falling asleep just sounded like the most perfect way to round off the party.

Harry: Harry's previously heavy-lidded eyes were wide and glassy as he met Louis' gaze, smile easily matching his when he saw it, since he was both relieved to be right about which side of the bed to let himself fall back on and that he hadn't been alone in being unable to keep from watching him undress. Even if they had seen each other in just about as little clothing then not too long ago during their play date at his own house with Freddie, Harry was aware that everything was different about that moment. He couldn't help wondering if it was his one chance, to be loud and clear about how deeply the love still ran on his side. He thought maybe the safest way to do it would be to express his desire somehow, just to see if it *could* be just as easy as falling right back into one another. He'd felt it so many times over the course of the summer, the possibility that maybe they were creating a second chance for themselves, slowly and carefully. But he also knew there was a possibility that he'd been reading too far into it, that Louis really was trying to be *just friends* for essentially the first time since they'd met. That they were never going to quite make it back to where they'd been before the summer that had broken them, no matter how much Harry had wanted to since then. No matter how sure he was that Louis could feel it too, sometimes. He pulled back the comforter and climbed into bed as he watched Lou head over to turn off the light, the sheets cool and soft against alcohol-warmed skin, the pillow a welcomed support to his heavy head. But he didn't want to go to sleep. The light flicked off and even with as relaxed as his body had begun to feel just from being able to lay down, his mind was suddenly alert, almost bordering on frantic. What if he fell asleep beside him without making a move at all? Without saying anything? What if he wasted his chance? He was asking himself so many questions by the time he felt Louis slip into bed on his side, and he dared to look over in his direction in the dark from his position on his back just as he was turning over to face him. His breath caught in his throat when he heard those two soft, barely-there words hanging in the air between them. And suddenly he realized... maybe he didn't have to push it just to make himself clear. Maybe he didn't have to lean in and ask Louis if he could kiss him in exactly the tone, touch him in exactly the way he knew might make him unable to tell him no, the way his mind had begun to yell at him to do so that chance he'd convinced himself he was about to miss wouldn't be wasted. Maybe for all they weren't saying, and hadn't been saying in the last three months, there was plenty being communicated between them. Maybe for tonight, they could just be close, and that could be enough. Harry shifted over without a second thought, fingers gently grazing along Louis' forearm as he felt for him, letting his arm come to rest over his midsection and immediately letting out a gusty sigh, sounding far too relieved that he hadn't had to ask Louis anything, even to hold him. He knew that if he stayed facing him that he wouldn't be able to focus on anything but how much he wanted to risk it all for just a taste of him, so he carefully turned over so that his back was toward him instead but their heads were on the same pillow. He positioned his head so he wasn't weighing on the arm Louis'd tucked under the pillow, and his hand laid on top of Louis, once he'd wrapped his other arm around him, his back pressed to his chest. He let out a shaky breath, so conflicted between the alertness caused by the quick, heavy beating of his heart and the fogginess in his head, how much peace it brought his body to fit like that with Lou again. He suddenly wished he'd had less to drink just so he could be more *present* for it. But he knew that no matter what, it was being burned right into his memory, like every moment of significance he'd ever shared with Louis in the past eight years. And with that thought came the courage to tuck his fingers into the spaces between Louis', not quite holding his hand, but wordlessly trying to tell him how much he needed him not to move away.

Louis: Louis was absolutely terrified that he'd somehow managed to get all of this wrong. Even though he felt that he and Harry were on the same page, there was no way to know for sure and that's what was so scary. Uncertainty. For a long time he thought that maybe they'd fucked up too much and life was just going to keep leading them apart from one another, but then suddenly it flipped and they'd been given a summer of reconnecting and starting to intertwine themselves back into each others' worlds. Harry had shown intent to keep growing closer through letting Louis bring his stupid mates to the show in Detroit and the way that he'd put so much effort into spending time getting to know Freddie. Louis really didn't want to mess that up, and something as simple as raising his arm like that in a request for both physical and unspoken emotional intimacy felt like it could do just that if it wasn't what Harry wanted, too. So when he felt the mattress start to dip and heard the rustle of the sheets in the otherwise silence of the room, Lou could almost feel the tensed up anxiety and fear wash away from him and all that was left was the pure desire to wrap himself up behind Harry Styles and hold him. Just like he had done in multiple different cities, states, countries, continents all those years ago. He'd missed this, and the heart thumping hard in his chest was a brutal reminder of just how much. He shifted his arm under the pillow a little to make sure that Harry had room to be rest his head comfortably, and his hand found Harry's hip under the covers as they shuffled closer until they were flush against one another and then he slid it around until Harry was wrapped up snug and tight. It felt inexplicably safe, like they were in their own little bubble and nobody could disrupt this or ruin the moment no matter how hard they tried. It shouldn't have been a surprise how easily they managed to fit back into this - how their bodies just knew exactly what to do in order to accommodate the other. Harry was warm and soft and familiar even after all this time, and Louis couldn't help but let out a groggy smile when he felt Harry's fingers in his. He squeezed them between his own, a silent way of saying goodnight as he fought the desire to drop down and press a soft kiss to the centre of his shoulder blades like he always used to. He started to do it, too, head ducking down out of habit but catching himself at the last moment, instead pretending to shuffle a little closer (if it was even possible) and letting his head rest back on the pillow again. Louis was so tired, but every part of him wanted to stay awake. To take in the change in Harry's breathing as he drifted off and the way that he'd feel the younger man completely relax against him. Louis wanted to peer over and to not just remember, but to actually see how beautiful Harry looked when he slept and remember all those nights when this was what he came home to and he'd felt so, so lucky. It was in this moment - with his arm tightly around Harry and body flush against his all the way from his chest down to his feet which rested behind Harry's ankles - that drunk Louis knew just how fucking gone he was for this man. Even after all this time the love was real and strong and there, and that was the last thing that Louis thought about before he fell asleep.

Harry: There was a part of Harry that still felt like he should test their limits, especially with where the pair of their hands with Louis' on the bottom came to rest on his hip. He knew it would've been easy to guide his hand elsewhere, to purposely rut back against Louis from behind until, even in their incredibly drunken, barely-awake state, they were unable to keep from crossing the line. But the bigger part of him was content in the knowledge that Louis asking him to move that close to him without any underlying ulterior motive could be taken as confirmation enough for him. He didn't need to do anything like that in order to feel like he hadn't wasted whatever opportunity this particular ending to the night had brought them. He squeezed Louis' fingers back, relaxing into him so that the curve of his body was pressed taut against his from their position on their sides, feeling a comfort he'd almost (but not quite) forgotten. Harry's breathing gradually slowed, and eventually his pulse followed, his mind allowing him to toss away the thought that falling asleep meant he wasn't taking enough advantage of what was happening between them. The warm, slow, rhythmic gusts of air he felt against the nape of his neck as Louis' breathing became more even from behind him served to soothe him, to stop his mind and his heart from racing, and as he began to doze off the pace his own breathing began to match. He felt every part of their bodies slotting together like pieces meant to fit finally finding their place again, his thumb running slowly over Louis' and down the side of his hand, the rope and the anchor invisibly aligning as he did so. As much as he wanted to stay awake and appreciate the importance of the moment, he couldn't help giving into the absolute serenity that had washed over the two of them, all while hoping to god he would still have a chance to let it all sink in when morning came. That both the stars of tonight and the sun tomorrow would be on their side, the way he'd felt they were on so many occasions before.

Louis: The first thing that Louis was aware of the next morning was that he hadn't closed the curtains before falling asleep the night before. The sunrise poured into the room and reflected off of the light walls so much so that Louis' hungover brain couldn't handle it. Almost immediately after he'd opened his eyes, he'd resulted to shutting them again and it was lucky that he didn't have to look at the clock on the bedside table in order to know that it was way too early for him to even think about being a functioning human being. He stretched his legs out, feet brushing against the back of Harry's as he did so. The two of them had naturally drifted at some point in the night, Lou's arm still around Harry's middle but nowhere near as snugly as it had been before, and yet their fingers had somehow managed to stay intertwined, albeit extremely loosely. The first thing that Louis did was fix this, linking their hands properly and shuffling forwards until they were flush against one another again. His other hand had managed to move in the night in a way that was awkward but somehow not uncomfortable, hand poking out from under the pillow on the other side of Harry. Lou could feel the soft exhales of breath hitting his skin to match the rise and fall of Harry's chest, and although the older man wasn't really awake enough to fully take it in it still managed to soothe him and keep him in the most relaxed state. Every natural instinct in his body told him to pull this man closer, muscle memory telling him to do exactly what he had done over a thousand times before all those years earlier. Now that Louis had shuffled forwards they were just as close as they had been when they had fallen asleep the night before, except this time Louis moved his head closer on the pillow until he could feel Harry's messy curls against his nose and cheek. They were soft and inviting, and it was no secret to anybody who'd known them back when they were together that Louis had always loved Harry's curls. He used to massage them when he felt affectionate, run his fingers through them when he felt thoughtful, pull at them when they fucked and then kiss the top of them afterwards as they lay in each others' arms just in case he had hurt them. It was also customary for Louis to nuzzle into them whenever the opportunity presented itself and for no reason at all other than it simply felt like home. He'd nuzzle them when they hugged and no one was really paying attention to them, when Harry sat across his lap at parties, as he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek or more relevantly when they lay in bed, Harry tucked up against him just as they found themselves now. That's the reason why Louis' muscles acted on instinct, face burying in the back of his curls and all but melting into their warmth and softness. At this moment he ran his thumb along Harry's and sighed happily, still sleepy as he let himself settle up against Harry's hair and ignore the way that it tickled his nose a little each time he exhaled. Everything was so much like it used to be and despite the hangover as Louis slowly came around, it was the best morning he'd had in a really, really long time.

Harry: The only way to describe the how Harry felt the next morning was completely and entirely at home. The warmth that filled the guest bedroom from the curtains that hadn't been drawn shut the night before had been welcomed, even if the light against closed, hangover-heavy eyelids hadn't been. But in his half-asleep, half-awake state of being too afraid to move and appear conscious and aware of his surroundings, he still found himself relieved when he felt the weight of Louis' from behind him rock just slightly, and heard the sound of them being brought shut, closing out the morning sun. He was grateful not to have it interrupt them, but even more so to feel Louis stretching out behind him, making no apparent move to shift away from him. That gratefulness was quickly replaced with pure elation as he felt Louis' fingers re-intertwine with his own, perhaps more solidly than they had at any point the night before when they'd been on the brink of falling asleep. He managed to keep his breathing slow and even, his head thankfully positioned in such a way that it wasn't obvious when his eyes blinked open, remaining half-lidded as he gazed ahead of him, still feeling fuzzy-headed and finding everything about the atmosphere between them so dreamy and delicate. It took everything in him to keep himself from letting a full-body shudder rock through him at the intensity he felt when Louis scoot closer to him so that they were pressed just as flush together as they had been the night before. He almost couldn't believe it; even in his wildest, most optimistic dreams, he never would've imagined that the magic might carry over into the next morning. But it was all the same magic and more as he registered the familiar feeling of Louis nuzzling himself into his hair from behind, and even in his state of pretending to still be entirely asleep, he couldn't help it when his fingers squeezed Louis' just a little in return. It was almost too much for his heart to take, as his body yearned for him to turn over to face Louis, to lay his head on his chest and feel his fingers gently threading through his curls the way he had so many other mornings, to listen to and feel the slow, rhythmic rising and falling of each breath he took. He knew he couldn't do that, he knew giving in to the desire to would be risking rejection no matter what might have been happening then. So instead, in his groggy state, he mentally begged himself to just savor it, to let it be a memory he could revisit on lonely mornings he woke up alone in his own huge bed, achingly nostalgic for a time when waking up beside Louis was the only norm he knew.

Louis: All of his senses were now entierly committed to Harry. Feeling the way that their hands linked together like they were designed to do exactly that, the smell of Harry's shampoo and the sound of his soft exhales into the otherwise stillness of the room. It was the tickling of the curls against his nose that started to bring Louis round, waking him up even moreso as his eyes started to open and he had that moment of wondering where the fuck he was. It had been a really long time since he'd woken up in someone else's bed - even longer since he'd found himself so intertwined with another person - so why did this feel so comfortable and normal? His head was pounding, resting against the pillow with his face still buried in Harry's curls. It all came back to him at once, body stiffening momentarily as he noticed that it was his ex boyfriend whom he was holding so tightly. The warmth of Harry's skin was addictive, and whilst Lou's brain was telling him that he had to pull back he could still feel his whole body fighting against it. But the truth was that they'd both come so far from where they'd been when they'd seen each other at that Hershey show. It felt so delicate, and Louis felt so fucking lucky, he couldn't let himself fuck that up. So reluctantly he shuffled his fingers out of Harry's, giving them one final squeeze before he let them go and placed his ex boyfriend's hand gently down on the sheets. He then moved his newly free hand to rest on Harry's hip, half on the material of his boxers and half on the skin. Then he started bringing his forehead up until it found the junction where Harry's shoulder met his neck and rested on the curve there, the curls still brushing against his cheek and he just stayed there for a moment. He let himself take Harry in for a second before he snapped out of it, slipping his arm out from under the pillow that they were sharing as gently as he could manage. The pad of his thumb stroked Harry's skin on his hip once before it was gone, Louis having to put some kind of distance between them as he pushed himself out of bed. His head was pounding, legs wobbly as he padded around to Harry's side of the bed and then out of the door. He stopped off at his room to throw on a baggy shirt and some joggers and grabbed the biggest things he could find that he could offer Harry to wear. He was pretty sure that the shirt he was holding in his arms actually had used to be Harry's, but he tried not to think about that. There was only one glass in the bathroom, so Louis filled that up with water for the both of them and grabbed some Advil out of the medicine cabinet before making his way back to the guest room.

Harry: Sometime in between Louis nuzzling into him from behind, the state they'd sunk into with the curves of their bodies fitting together with their hands tied up like that, Harry had dozed off again into a delicate kind of sleep. One that wasn't difficult to stir him from, especially with something as soft but seemingly deliberate as the way that Louis squeezed his hand right before he let it go. He hadn't even been made aware that they'd been laying there long enough for him to fall back asleep until he felt Louis' thumb graze over his hip and then the weight of his body moving from behind him. As warm as his own body was running from the way-too-many shots he'd downed the night before, he still felt just a little colder the moment that Louis was no longer close to him. He felt the loss of it immediately, which was to be expected. What he wasn't expecting to feel as he started to come to wakefulness was his own dick laying half hard up against his thigh. He waited until he heard the sound of Louis' coming around to his side of the bed and then making his way out of the guest bedroom to roll over onto his back and confirm his own self-betrayal and yep, he was definitely visibly bulging a little bit through his underwear. 'Fucks sake.' He breathed out, immediately grabbing for the sheet to cover his lower half since it'd slipped down his frame in the act of rolling over, trying to think of *anything* that would stave off one of the most inconvenient erections he'd ever had in his life. Anything that would keep it from becoming more obvious. And by the time Louis walked back in he was sure his face was more than a little flushed and he looked stupidly flustered but he hoped it could just play it off like it was the hangover setting in. Disorientation at where and how he'd just woken up. He *was* an actor now after all, right? "Hey. Mornin'." He greeted him, voice still thick with sleep-filled gruffness that he cleared his throat to try and get rid of. "S'it even morning?" He thought to ask afterward, keeping his arm laid over his lap even as he sat up and not willing to move from under the sheet just yet. A soft hint of a dimpled smile that he couldn't hide came over him when he recognized one of the t-shirts he was holding. "Thought I'd lost that." He admitted, smile becoming fuller and less reserved as he nodded at it with his chin. As he sat up even more, he became aware that his head was starting to throb dully, that his mouth felt dry and his eyes were still sleepy, even if the panic that the semi he was still trying to cover up had brought him into a state of wakefulness.

Louis: Louis had half-expected Harry to still be asleep when he'd walked back into his guest bedroom, and he wasn't at all eager to have to be the one to pull him out of that sleep. He'd looked so calm and peaceful, Lou almost felt it'd be cruel to bring him out of that and into the morning of hangovers and advil. Maybe it was just a selfish part of Louis not wanting his ex boyfriend to leave just yet - scared that bringing him into the morning would mean that Harry would have to leave straight away. But instead he was met with the fact that Harry was already awake and sat up, tattoos illuminated through the soft glow of the sunrise peeking through the window and making him look even more beautiful than he always did. If this wasn't all something that his heart ached for so actively, Louis would feel frustrated that they were in the position where they'd crossed so many lines whilst simultaneously not crossing any. Staying the night next to someone wasn't generally something that required any kind of meaningful discussion usually but why did it feel like their passing out next to each other meant they really needed to sit down and chat? Why did everything have to be so delicate that a simple action could require a thousand words to follow? Then again, they wouldn't be LouisAndHarry if things ever stayed simple. "Hmm?" Louis asked in question, pretty much being knocked out of his train of thought as he looked down at the shirt he was holding, "oh. Think I wore it often enough, decided I deserved to be gettin' custody of it," he joked, handing it over to Harry with reluctance when he realized that he may never get it back. It's not like he didn't have more of Harry's old stuff in his closet, but he didn't feel like he had enough to be so carefree in giving them back like that. Still, he handed them over, waiting for Harry to put them down before handing him the water and advil. It was in this movement his eyes landed on the slight bulge beneath the sheets, and as he pieced that together with Harry's flushed composure he realized what the problem was. He made eye contact with Harry, mind flashing back to mornings with wandering hands and kisses that were equal parts lazy and needy, taking care of each other and starting the day off *right*. Louis had to snap himself out of it, forcing himself to counteract his thoughts and put some distance between them as he took a step back and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Erm, yeah, it's, er -" he moved over to pick his phone out of his pocket of the clothes abandoned on the floor the night before. "It's eight thirty. I'll be downstairs, yeah? Puttin' a cuppa on and evaluatin' the damage," he said, slipping his phone in the pocket of his joggers and forcing one foot in front of the other until he was down in the kitchen, cradling his hungover head in his hands and trying not to linger on the thoughts of a half-hard Harry Styles upstairs in his guest bedroom and how much he really wanted to go back up and rejoin him.

Harry: Being face-to-face with Louis again like this for the first time since he'd settled in behind him last night was sort of a surreal moment for Harry no matter the inconvenient boner he was dealing with- it confirmed for him that it was all very real and not just a really good dream. How ridiculous it was that he'd let something like a bit of drunken cuddling go right to both heads, the one upstairs optimistic that maybe Louis wouldn't want him to leave right away. It was such an unexpectedly tender moment despite that, the way Louis seemed not-quite-willing to hand the t-shirt over after joking about getting custody of it from having worn it so much when they were together and sharing clothes was second nature. It prompted Harry to nod immediately in agreement, "I think you have too. Kept plenty of your things, after all, you've earned this one." He made a move to set them strategically on his lap, both the shirt and the joggers, but a part of him was certain in those brief few beats of shared eye contact that followed him moving to reach out and gratefully take the water and Advil from him, that Louis had seen exactly what he was dealing with that had him looking so visibly flustered. The *clear* reaction came with the body language that followed, the way he quickly moved to put a few feet between them as he reached to retrieve his phone out of the little pile of abandoned clothes they'd left there on the floor. Still, hearing him say that it was not only still morning but rather early at that also gave him a sense of relief he wasn't expecting, as if it being earlier in the day somehow might give him license to hang around a little longer. "Thank you." He said before quickly popping and washing down the advil with a few swigs of water, about to habitually offer it to Louis to see if he wanted a drink of it when he heard the second part of his sentence and watched him turn around to make his way out of the guest room again, and that's when Harry's face flushed much warmer than it had before, his heart pounding a few times in what felt like the hollow drum of his chest. "Alright, meet ya down there." He called after him in a desperate bid to appear casual before clearing his throat. He couldn't let his body betraying him like that stop him from getting to spend as much time there as possible, that much he knew as he set the water on the bedside table and threw the sheets off of himself, getting a good look at what he was sure Louis had just seen the outline of before muttering another "Fucks sake." Under his breath and moving to throw his legs over the edge of the bed so he could rise to his feet and get dressed. Naturally, the pair of joggers Louis brought him fit a bit *too* snugly, so he still had to sit and think about scenarios that were anything but arousing, like the urgency in the way his ex moved to get away from him. What that might have meant. Even more helpful was letting his thoughts wander to what might have happened the night before if Ariana hadn't made such a fool of herself- if he'd actually had to deal with seeing one of his closest friends and the love of his life hook up on the night of another close friend's birthday. That was enough to at least flag his erection and make it so he could finish the act of getting dressed, as long as he didn't allow his mind to wander to and linger on the moment they'd shared sitting there at the bar together having a laugh at the way she'd gone about her embarrassing dedication and serenade; *that* would have just made him nostalgic for a time when they were constantly sharing moments like that while knowing with every certainty that it didn't matter who else wanted either of them, they only wanted each other. He was no longer sporting that semi by the time he came downstairs holding the emptied water glass, he *was* however sporting the shirt Louis had brought him, and some really cute messy bed head. "Shit, bit of a disaster innit?" He observed aloud as he glanced around, "S'not as bad as it could've been, though." Without missing a beat he began slowly stacking empty solo cups inside one another, and when he came to one that needed dumped out he took that as an excuse to make his way into the kitchen, "We'll get stuff picked up some and... maybe make some breakfast or something, yeah?" He suggested, refusing to indulge himself in thoughts of what he'd rather be eating than hangover food for fear he'd wake his dick back up and be right back where he'd started upstairs with no chance in hell at concealing it.

#&. ⸢after niall's party⸥#&. ⸢h.styles⸥#posting this ten years later lmao

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fanfiction-for-me · 5 years

Text

Party in the House

It was a very busy afternoon in the Rad Youth residence, because that night we were having the first party that would introduce us to the world of music and Rock n' Roll. Every notorious band and solo artist we could think of was invited, and the disco room in our estate was set ready to have the time of our lives that night.

Why were we throwing a party, you wonder? Well, little more than a year ago ago we came together as a band when we found Davie on a Café playing guitar and singing. We immediately knew he was the one we were missing and he was integrated as the bassist. Sass and I already had some success and money from selling pastries and sweets back home, enough to move to the US and try to make it here (Ah, the ‘merican dream). It was always our life-long desire to form a band together, and every choice in our lives we had taken to achieve this.

Well, back to the story: after finding Davie and together with our incredible drummer Lila we worked our asses off like never before. It was pretty fucking hard and much tears, sweat and blood had been shed, but eventually we created something we were so proud of. After that we could only pray we get signed for a record deal, which eventually (another 3 horrible months of surviving on instant ramen), we did. What happened after was so unreal. Our debut single blew the fuck up; everyone wanted something from us, people worldwide went crazy overnight... We had made it! Soon we were building our humble home in L.A. at the same time we recorded our debut album. Everyone expected greatness and needless to say, we delivered. Our album sold billions of copies worldwide the first week of its release... something truly incredible for newbies such as us. And that brings me back to now: half a year into the craziness and we start touring in two days... so we’re throwing a party!

I still couldn't believe that less than a year ago Lila, Sass and I were looking for a bassist and a record company to get signed in and now we are a very famous and recognized rock band. Our luck was too much; we were still trying to get used to the whole fame thing and it was already happening. People screamed when they saw us walking on the street and asked us for pictures and autographs, our favorite bands knew who we were and wanted to meet us at our party and there were billboards of our tour on the streets and pictures of us in magazines.

I was currently in my room, thinking about all this and trying to find a dress that would make me look even more gorgeous than I already am, with Sass, who was looking for some matching earrings for her outfit. I finally find this low-shoulder, long-sleeved bubble gum pink dress that was up the knee and splattered with black paint around the hem. It went just perfect with my hair, and I knew exactly the shoes I was going to wear: my high-heeled combat boots.

"Yo, Sass, look here, you like?" I grinned wide at her as I held the dress from the hanger and waved at it dramatically with my free arm.

"Cool dude", Sass laughed and gave me the thumbs up. "This party is gonna be mega epic"

I went inside my closet to put on the dress and talked loudly so Sass would hear me. "I know! Hopefully all the bands we invited come"

"Of course they will bro, everybody wants to meet us; we are like, the lucky noobs in the business"

"Yep, you're right. I'm worried though" I said as I walked out smugly out of the closet with my dress. "Ta-da", I turned as I wiggled my eyebrows at Sass.

"Be-ah-u-tiful my dear" she approved, "but why are you worried?"

"Well-", I walked over to my toilet case and started to take out makeup, the blow dryer, hairspray, earrings... "I dunno, I'm just afraid that I might not be able to contain my excitement and look like a fangirl around them. What if I like, spit my drink when I see Beyoncé, or squeal when Jared Leto walks into the room?" I violently brushed my hair to untangle it, and looked back in panic at Sass from the mirror.

"Oh, you're right. But, I guess we'll be fine. I know I'll probably cry when I meet My Chemical Romance, but you shouldn't worry about meeting 30 Seconds to Mars because you've already seen them in person before. You were paralyzed, but at least you were not going crazy. And if you do go crazy this time, you can fix it." Sass paused and I still looked at her a little uneasy. I'm still not sure if I can keep my fangirly-ness in control tonight.

"We are famous now, Chelita. I bet they will take the time to actually talk with us and hear what we've got to say to them, and not only because of that, but also because we are the hosts of the party, remember? So chill, and go crazy if you want to because I bet that even after that they'll think you are awesome."

I smiled at Sass. She could be overly sarcastic sometimes, but right now she was being honest. "Thanks dude, guess I will be able to handle it"

"Any time my dear". I just finished applying my lip gloss, when Lila and Davie burst into my room.

"Everyone ready to party?!" Lila screamed full lung; Davie following close behind, looking really hot.

"Fuck Yeah!" Sass replied.

"Davie! Show yourself baby" I clapped my hands and moved closer to where Davie was leaning against the wall. When I said that, Davie laughed and stood up straight, walking to the center of the room and jumping on the bed.

He was striking poses like a mad model. "What? Do I look hot today?" he asked with a fake ignorant tone, very conscious that he always looked gorgeous. We tried to not feed his ego for that reason, but today we were allowed to brag our looks because we all looked really good, and we were excited for the coming evening.

Davie was wearing a loose V-neck with cool motives which was way more expensive than you would've thought it was. He had gray aviator sunglasses on, his dirty blonde hair shining like the sun under my pink Christmas lights. His jeans were plain black and he was wearing a chain instead of a normal belt because that's how we roll. Ah, the benefits of being a rockstar: back then when we dressed this way we were looked down as weirdos but now we were setting trends. People can be very stupid.

"Get your butt off my bed David" we all hit him as we laughed and he cussed.

"I thought you wanted to see me!"

"Yeah, we have plenty time for that"

Davie got off the bed and looked down at us "Your turn to model" he chortled and pulled me up on the bed.

We all showed our outfits in between laughs and loud flattering comments. I wore my pink dress and my hair loose. I used to be a brunette but right before we released our album I dyed it Barbie blonde, and just to give it attitude I added a black streak over the longest bang, the one I usually wore over my eye. I really liked the contrast my hairstyle made with my pale face and my dark eyes.

Sass and Lila also changed their look, but it wasn't as drastic as mine. Sass wore a short black studded dress over shredded thighs and combat boots, the dark attire making the purple streaks over her black curls jump out. Lila was using metallic gold shorts, a fancy blouse that had many black and white sequins under an electric blue leather jacket which contrasted beautifully with her pixie orange hair, and of course combat boots. We love combat boots. Even Davie was wearing one of his many pairs.

After we finished modeling, we went downstairs to check everything was okay. The party area looked awesome; the ceiling was covered in disco balls and stage lights of every color. People were still setting the buffet, which was mostly fancy and tasty snacks, and an ice sculpture of the logo of our band stood huge over the center of the long table. The DJ was already playing some test music and the sound of it reverberated throughout the near rooms, making our chests thump to the rhythm of the bass. The bartender looked like he had everything set too. Elegance and Rock n' Roll was our theme; black and red roses that matched with the table mats and chair bows; the dance floor was wide and speckled over with glitter and petals.

In conclusion, everything was perfect. We were chilling around the busy party crew, waiting for our guests who will soon arrive, when the doorbell rang. We all froze for 5 seconds before running to see who was at the door. Our butler Sebastian opened it and it was our manager, Tom Kafer. We all groaned simultaneously, expecting it to be someone famous, but when we watch the door again, Kafer is waving someone in... Lady Gaga?

"Oh my God!" "Holy shit!" "I’m gonna flip!"

We were going nuts; Lady Gaga was in our house! But before we could get used to the fact she was there, Beyoncé steps in with Jay-Z. Then Rihanna. Then Adele. And Bruno Mars.

Aweeesome. I never thought I'd get to see these performers in real life, much less in our own home. We were still looking at the arriving guests in wonder when Kafer made us snap out of it.

"Guys, guys, guys!" he clapped on our faces until we looked at him. He looked pissed (as he does). "What are you doing here sneaking glances like little children? You're supposed to be in the room waiting for your guests and introducing yourselves! Move guys, quick, before they come in; move!"

We moved into the room in a daze. We could hear it was getting crowded by the minute inside. The stars started to come in and we introduced ourselves. Most of them seemed genuinely interested in meeting us, smiling and congratulating us for being "the next big thing at such a young age". Others even looked starstruck by us which was... strange. Soon, there were so many celebrities that we had to split in order to give them the proper attention.

I could see Davie was near the bar talking with Taylor Momsen, Lila was concluding with Katy Perry and Sass was welcoming Adam Lambert. I had just finished letting Fall Out Boy in, so I went over to Lila, who had already finished with Katy.

"So far so good, huh?" I nudged her arm with my elbow as we both contemplated the scene in front of us.

"Yep, our party is pretty awesome, everyone looks like they are having fun" she said with an air of proudness, then, a little down she added "too bad our potential boyfriends probably won't be able to come"

"Yeah..." I felt sort of blue now that she reminded me of the fact that Big Time Rush, one of my favorite bands, was on tour at the moment, and although we had invited them (well, technically, Kafer did), they wouldn't be able to make it because they had a show today. The gig was right here in LA, but they still wouldn't make it after they finished.

"Well, guess we'll meet them some other time... After our 6 month tour" Lila rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, hope James is still available after that" I added.

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"I have no idea, I'm just being paranoid."

"Well, don't be; I'm not. I'm pretty sure James will fall for you the minute he sees you" she teased with a wide grin.

"Ha-ha, you're right, and I bet Kendall will also think you're hot!" I laughed, "too bad they won't see us all dressed up and beautiful like we are now"

"Who knows? Besides, dressed up or not, we always look good cuz we are good looking" she concluded. Lila was right, we are hot. Who wouldn't like a pretty Latina girl? Well... I didn't actually look like a Latina much as Sass did, even less now that my hair was blond, and our spanish accent was only slightly noticeable (studying in a bilingual school for 15 years and then go out to live on the US does that to you).

Lila and I were wondering what song our Big Time Rush prospects could be performing when I almost fell backwards as I saw who was entering the room.

"30 Seconds to Mars!" I screeched and waved my hands frantically over my face. My favorite band was here to see us! Jared Leto, Shannon Leto and Tomo Milicevic entered the room with the confidence only a rock band as successful as them could have. I wish one day we will be like that.

"You have to go and talk with them!" Lila pushed me over in their direction and I almost fell over in my heels, but I managed to balance. I checked myself in my pocket mirror already knowing I looked cute; I did, and with that I walked over to the guys that had inspired me to dream bigger than I've ever imagined I could. I just hope my voice doesn't crack because my lungs feel empty on air.

"H-Hi" I uttered and, dammit, it didn't come out as steady as I wanted.

"Hello there" Tomo, the guitar player said and I almost squealed again.

"Um, I'm Michelle Oviedo the lead singer of Radioactive Youth... I-I'm a great admirer of your work, you have no idea- you-"

"We know who you are" Shannon said with an amused smile.

"You-you do?" my idols knew me? Oh, right! I'm famous... I didn't know they listened to my band though...

"Yes, and we are also admirers of your work. You've got a fine voice right there" Jared winked and signaled nonchalantly at me, but always serious and professional, and, holy hell, Jared Leto said he likes my voice!

"Wow, I don't know what to say and I wish I could stop blubbering because there are so many things I want to tell you and I just don't know what to start with because I love you so much and-"

"How about we start with a hug and then we can go sit and talk?" Shannon suggested, and with that I threw my arms around him and hugged him hard.

Soon I sensed two other pair of arms wrap around me. It felt like that feeling you get when you finally get to your house after a long trip: at home and at peace. I swear I could've cried right there but I didn't want them to think I was weirder than they probably already thought I was, hugging them like a dork and shit.

I spent the next hour gone from the rest of my band and the party, talking with my life heroes about music, our lives and any trivial theme that came in the conversation. I couldn't appreciate what was happening around me because I was having such a great time with 30 Seconds to Mars. They were so funny and even greater than I thought they were. When I finally looked up, curious to know what my bandmates where doing, I could see they were probably having as much fun as I was.

Davie was chilling with the guys of Metallica... Metallica? Whoa, even they were here? Cool, though they look a little intimidated with Davie's over-excitement; poor guys. And holy shit, Sass was laughing at something with the guys of My Chemical Romance! They are Sass' favorite band and one of mine's as well; I'll make sure I go and say hi before the party ends. Lila on the other hand was... Where was she? I can't see her anywhere. Maybe she went to the bathroom or-

"MATE." someone painfully jabbed their fingers at both sides of my waist and with that I knew who it was.

"Oh, God! You know I hate that! I was looking for you, the guys here were-" I gestured to my favorite band before being interrupted.

"Mate!" Lila looked at me wide eyed and solemn.

"What?"

"Big Time Rush" she said unnerved.

"What? No, that can't be; they are in a show, you're seeing stuff-"

"Then who are the guys that are standing there on the doorway?" Lila signaled urgently at the entrance, an expression of lucidity and anxiety combined on her face. Over by the door were Logan, Carlos and our "future boyfriends", Kendall and James; shy expressions on their faces as they studied the space crowded with celebrities.

"How the-?"

"I don't know and I don't care either; they are here and we need to go and talk to them!" Lila grabbed me by my arm and almost dragged me with such a force that always made me wonder how something so tiny has such strength!

"I'm sorry, we need to go and see- you know, they-" I didn't know what to say actually. "I'll be back, just-"

"Go get that boy" Jared winked; smiling suggestively, while Shannon beamed, wriggling his eyebrow and Tomo cackled like a hyena at his expression. How the hell did Jared know I have no freaking idea (am I that obvious?).

I let Lila drag me to where the four good-looking fellows stood up, probably looking for a seat in the crowded place. Before we reached them and they could see us I stopped her. "Wait- how do I look?" I was nervous and insecure all over again. Most of the times I acted over confident and extroverted, because that's how your ideal lead singer should be, but deep inside I was still the shy awkward girl I've been trying to hide and tonight she was coming out pretty often. That made me feel frustrated.

She rolled her eyes "Great, beautiful, whatever; let's go!"

"Don't you want to know how you look?"

"Why?"

"To cause a good impression on Kendall"

"Chelle, they will think we are cute, believe me. And I'm pretty sure I look good; common, I'm wearing a decent outfit today and I have makeup on!" Lila looked at me with an impatient face and I decided to agree even though I was still not sure.

"Yeah, you're right"

"Okay, deep breaths mate and try not to faint".

Together we walked, trying not to fall or do die in the way, for the floor was already covered in the stickiness caused by the drinks dropped when trying to dance with them, and some of it was still wet. The lights were low and the music loud enough so that the boys wouldn't see us coming. Every step took us closer to them and made my hands colder. I could see now that Logan was talking with Kendall about something, Carlos nodding and pointing at what was probably the object of their talk, James stayed silent behind them, tapping his foot and moving his head to the rhythm of the music.

Lila cleared her throat when we were basically in front of them. "Hey, welcome to our party".

The four boys stared back at us and smiled, replying with four different enthusiastic "hey's". I was, on my part, still quiet, until Lila elbowed me so indiscreetly, that even the boys noticed.

"H-hey, um Big Time Rush? Welcome to our party, I am-"

"You're Michelle Oviedo! Better known as Chelle because that's how you like people to call you, right?" Carlos interrupted and damn, I am surprised he is equally excited to meet us than we are. Only Carlos wasn't nervous; does Carlos ever get nervous?

Taken aback, I started to talk again "Um, yeah I do-"

"I'm Delilah Carter, but you can call me-"

"Lila! Drummer right?" this time James interrupted, strong voice making me jump.

"We know who you all are" added Logan.

"We have listened to your album and it's really good" Kendall explained.

"You can't imagine how surprised we were when our manager told us we had gotten invited to your party" said Carlos.

"It's pretty cool to finally meet you"

"Everyone talks about you"

"Logan bought your album twice because I stole the first copy"

"When we saw the video of 'Rebel Generation' Kendall said that-"

Pinch me hard, someone! Was this really happening, or were the BTR guys fangirling over us (well, fanboying in their case) harder than Lila and I over them? We are trying to control ourselves but they just started bombarding us with nice comments! Well, if we did that I bet it would be less "I believe your live performances are neat" and more like "My ovaries explode every time I see you perform Love Me Love Me"; so, on the inside, I guess we are still the biggest fangirls. But we will never let them know that...

"Guys? Guys. Guys... GUYS!" Lila interrupted, looking all cheery and glowing.

"Yes?" the four answered at the same time and for a moment it felt like we were in their TV show.

"Do you want to meet the rest of our bandmates and- if you want- talk later?"

"Sounds great" and Kendall winked at Lila. She glanced back at me and mouthed something that seemed like "omigosh", and looked pretty stoked. I would've been too if James winked at me.

It was time to take action, so I moved next to Logan and James, while Lila was walking in front of us in between Carlos and Kendall. I still couldn't believe we were walking together with the guys of Big Time Rush; if I were seventeen years old again or just nine months ago and you would've told me this would happen, I wouldn't believe it. Our lives had changed so fast and we were definitely living the good life now; I'm so grateful for this moment that I'm not even wishing to be James' girlfriend or something, but just enjoying his and his bandmates' company. Besides, being his girlfriend would be too much luck and I think I already spent all the luck I have in getting to the top with my band.

Now that I was past the shock of the moment, I started to really look at the guys and I wondered... How the heck can they look hotter in real life? I mean, Kendall's eyes have always been beautiful, but here under the flickering lights of the dance floor they blazed a silvery green, and it was something hypnotizing to see. Logan's hair was lighter than I thought it was, and Carlos' smile made me want to smile as well. But James was otherworldly for me. He was everything: sexy, adorable, handsome... gorgeous. He stood a head over me and I swear all of his body was covered in muscles; gosh, he is so hot. He even smells like hotness! (Is that even possible?). It's getting a little warm inside my dress too; I just hope I don't start sweating.

I tried to distract myself by pretending I was looking for Sass or Davie, but my eyes couldn't toss the opportunity of staring at the beauty that was James Maslow, so they turned to see him only to realize that he was staring back. My dark brown eyes locked with his sparkling hazel ones for a second, before he flashed his straight white teeth in a very lovely smile. Was it possible that he was checking me out? I'd like to think maybe, after all, I am kinda cute. Even though I am still almost five years younger than him. Yeah, that's right almost five (four years and a half to be exact). It doesn't sound that weird to me though, because I am 18 and he is 22 right now, and that's not so bad, is it?

I tried to smile back, but my cheeks felt warm, so I guess I was blushing; great. Where are Davie and Sass? I'm humiliating myself here.

"Oh, there they are" said Lila. Davie and Sass where standing by the food table, talking to no one else but the guys from Black Veil Brides, and Sass kinda had a thing for the vocalist, Andy Biersack. She looked sort of annoyed at Davie though, and I bet it was because he was fanboying. Black Veil Brides is one of Davie's favorite bands.

"Let's go and say hi" I suggested. I was still ecstatic for being with Big Time Rush but that didn't stop me from being excited about meeting another band I love.

"Yo guys! These are Kendall, Logan, James and Carlos from Big Time Rush and they wanted to say hi" Lila caught our bandmate's attention and signaled to the group.

"Hello, nice to meet you" Sass replied, but I could see she was a little distracted with Andy laughing at CC's ridiculous dance moves on the background. Andy was pretty cute even though he was wearing all black and had his war paint on. It's possible, believe me, he has a baby face.

"'Sup?" Davie mumbled and turned around to slap hands with the four guys. Then, he addressed Lila and me "Hey, aren't these the guys that you were so sad 'bout that they wouldn't be able to come?"

We looked at Davie with a crazy "you are not supposed to say that in front of them" face. Seriously? Guess our secret was out now.

Lila and I could feel four pair of eyes watching us.

"We kinda like you too... We are Rushers." Lila explained.

"No way!" James grinned at both of us and I reddened more.

"Yeah way" I slurred and laughed a little. "We thought you guys wouldn't come; our manager-"

"Hey, do you have any booze here? My throat is drying up!" Andy called attention to himself with his low and loud voice.

"Sure, come with me" Sass grabbed him by the arm and took him to the bar. Nice to see she was feeling confident!

"Cool meeting you, Big Time..." Andy struggled to find the word.

"Rush" they all answered at the same time

"Oh, yeah. Bye!" and with that he left with Sass.

"Sorry about that" I told them.

"Meh, it's okay, as long as you girls know who we are, its fine" Logan winked. So it is true that he is the flirt of the band...

Carlos bumped Logan on the arm "Hey Loges, let's go and say hi to Selena" "Okay. Hope you girls don't mind being with these two dorks" he pointed a James and Kendall, who rolled their eyes at him.

"No, we're good, go and have fun; that's what we threw this party for!" Lila playfully slapped his arm and we both waved bye at him and Carlos.

Now we were alone with our Big Time Crushes.

"So... What do you want to do?" asked Lila.

"Well, I'm kinda thirsty, could we go for a drink?" suggested Kendall.

"Sure"

"James, you coming man?"

"No, thanks, I'll stay here"

I watched with dread and relief as Kendall and Lila left me by myself with the man of my dreams. We were finally alone; I'd never thought I'd actually be alone with him! But what am I supposed to do? I'm too nervous to think about something intelligent to say or ask so I'll probably stay silent until I figure something out, which will probably be in a long while and I'll bore him out and then bye bye opportunity to seduce James Maslow. All this time while I was panicking in my head, James had been answering a text, and now he was putting out his phone.

"So..." he started

"So...?"

"Cool party." James concluded.

"Yep" and thank God my brain had a question in mind, "-hey, I never knew how come you were able to arrive, I thought you had a show tonight at the House of Blues?" I was surprised that my voice came out casual. Well, it had to; after all, I was the hostess.

"We did, but it got cancelled"

"Mm, too bad"

"Yep, I was pretty excited for it. But being in your party is better, I would've been more upset if I lost this" he motioned around him.

"Really? Why?" I've got to say, I was genuinely surprised.

"Are you kidding? You're just new in this thing and you're already the rock band of the moment, or as Rolling Stone wrote 'the promise of Rock'" he made quotes in the air and chuckled.

"Right, that does sound attractive" I laughed. Did Rolling Stone really write that? "It does. Plus, I had already heard your music and I think it is really good. And I'm not a Rock type of guy!"

"Glad you like it" I smiled "Do you have any favorite song of ours? And don't say 'Rebel Generation' please, because everyone likes that song" I teased him and he chuckled at my comment; I was making him laugh, that was a sign that I wasn't boring him out so I immediately relaxed. Being with James was more comfortable than I thought it would be. I wasn't even noticing the way his lips moved when he talked, or even his large hands, or his beefy pectorals... Well, okay, I was, but which girl wouldn't?

"Well I have a few, besides 'Rebel Generation', of course" James looked at me, looking guilty as charged "' Your Sick Heart' has a great guitar solo and the drums in 'Solstice' are sick! But lately I've been obsessing with 'On my Mind'; that song is plain beautiful"

"You think so? I wrote that song!"

"You did? Well, no wonder why it's so amazing" he winked at me, and I hoped he didn't noticed how my breath came out a little shaky. That man could make my body respond in weird ways.

"Thank You" I responded modestly.

"Welcome; shall we sit?" James offered. I felt like I should tell him something about his band too, since he was flattering mine so much and also, I wanted to do it. We sat front to front on a small table that was next to a wall, far from the dance floor. For a moment we just looked at each other, smiling and shifting nervously, neither of us having something to say. Just when I was about to tell him how much I had liked their latest album, James spoke.

"I like your hair, it's unusual... and it suits you."

"Thanks, you know, I used to be a brunette..." I spoke, not really calculating why he would want to know that.

"Like me?" he questioned with a cocky grin, and as he did so, James flipped his hair with a movement of his head that almost made me start hyperventilating.

"Uh- yeah, sort of, mine was darker I think" I brushed my tips with my hands in a hurry out of a nervous habit.

"Why did you dye it?" I don't really know why would he want to know all that, but he seemed interested, so I answered.

"Well, I thought that I would need a more rock and roll-ish appearance if I was going to be in a band and I chose blond because I have always wanted to be blond for some reason; I thought it would suit me"

"It does," James agreed "but I bet you looked pretty with brown hair too"

He had me now. I didn't know how to respond to that, so all I did was grin at him and blush like the shy girl I was. James just looked at me in my eyes and smirked, a mix of self-consciousness and measured flirting. His perfect tanned face looked soft under the very faint light, and I wanted nothing more than grab him by the collar of his jacket and make out heavily with him. I instinctively bit my lip as I thought about his lips on mine. Big mistake, for we were still making eye contact. The moment I took in that, I stopped doing it, viewing down at my hands, bracelets making noise as they made contact with the table. James was almost in the same position as I was, and before I could steady myself and say something, I stared as his hands moved next to mine touching my bracelets too. If it were any other guy, I would've thought the move was totally random and weird, but since it was James Maslow, I thought it was the best thing ever, of course. My eyes moved up to his face only to see him still eyeing at me with a friendly expression. We stayed staring at each other, and just when his glare moved to my lips (which totally meant something! Right?), our golden silence was broken.

"CHELLE!"

I flinched as I heard my name and then stood up fast from my seat "What?!" to be honest, I was pissed.

"Help me! Please?"

"Excuse me for a minute James?" I said in a sweet tone that was a complete contrast to how yelled just now. James just mouthed a "sure", looking bewildered and slightly curious.

I took Davie a good 6 feet from James and lectured him "David Alexander Tscharke, I was having a beautiful moment back there with James freaking Maslow! What the shit is wrong with you, interrupting like that?"

"Whatever Chelle, I needed one of you; it's an emergency!" I have to admit, Davie did look worried... but I still wanted to kill him.

"Then why didn't you call Lila or Sass?"

"I can't find Lila anywhere; last time I saw her she was talking with a blond guy; Sass is with Andy and she told me that if I bothered her she would kill me!"

I sighed exasperated. Stupid Davie. "What's the problem?" I asked tiredly, hands on my hips. It wasn't the first time, or even the tenth.

"Well, I sort of accidentally knocked someone out."

"What the fuck Davie?" I couldn't help shouting; was he crazy? If someone heard about this it would be on the news and they would see us as a violent band! I'm also pretty sure James heard me, because I could see he was choking a little on his drink. Great, now he will think I have a potty mouth... Although I sort of do.

"Davie, how the hell could that be accidental? Are you insane?" I whispered loudly.

"No! I swear- it really was an accident! I was on the bathroom releasin' the drinks I had taken, when this fat guy with a cam'ra comes and opens the door- I didn't knew it wasn't locked! He must've been a papzz though, cus he had a fancy lookin' cam'ra over his neck an' he snapped a picture of me! PEEIN'!

If I wasn't so mad at him, I'd laugh at what he just told me.

Davie continued his story "So my first reaction was to shoot my fist out right at his jaw, but he moved a litt'l, so the punch landed on his right temple"

"Goodness Davie, why would that be your first reaction?" that was a rhetorical question actually because I already knew the answer. Back when Davie lived in Australia, his house was located near the beach and also near the wilderness of the jungle. He had to know how to react fast to danger (specifically animals). This wasn't exactly dangerous, but it was an "act quickly" situation.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" I couldn't find out why he would need my help.

"You're a woman, Michelle; maybe you could- I don't know- nurse him?"

I tried to give Davie my best death glare as I crossed my arms.

"Aw, common! Look, you can bring your boyfriend over there; he could help too" Davie pointed at James.

"He's not my boyfriend Davie, and in no way am I gonna ask him that!"

"Please! I need someone strong to help me move the guy; he's pretty fat!" Davie begged.

I decided to give in. After all, friends help other friends."Fine" I said curtly, and Davie punched the air in triumph. Ashamed, I made my way back to the table where James was fumbling with the edge of his glass.

"Hey, James? We need your help. Well, Davie does"

"What's wrong?" and I explained the whole story of how Davie had left a paparazzi unconscious for taking a picture of him while peeing. James snickered adorably at this, and in return Davie glared back, which made him shut up. I looked at Davie with narrowed eyes and he let it go.

"Okay then, I'll help you". We all moved together to the "crime scene", where a fat guy (he really was fat) lied thrown on the floor, camera at a side, looking dead to me. I sighed and moved to the floor to check if he was breathing. He was.

"He's not dead!" I informed. Davie sighed a breath of relief and James chortled, earning another glare from Davie.

"Stop that" I warned him again. He was being sort of rude, considering James was helping him.

"But he's laughing!" Davie protested childishly.

"Sorry" James apologized. He was too sweet.

"Don't worry James, I would be laughing too if this wasn't such a stupid situation" I looked at Davie as I made my emphasis and he frowned back at me. I ignored that. "Start moving him before anyone sees this" I ordered.

The two guys proceeded to do so; James shrugged out of his leather jacket to reveal a black button up shirt that hugged around his muscles perfectly. I gawked dreamily, but was interrupted by Davie's low whistle.

James looked between us, confused, and I threw one of the fancy soaps that were near the sink at Davie. The fucker just laughed hard.

"Ooookay... Are we gonna lift him?" James interrupted Davie.

"Yeah, yeah. You grab him by his feet and I grab his arms."

Davie and James started lifting the guy with a lot of effort, and I picked up his camera from the floor. I peeked throughout the pictures and even found some of myself! What was a paparazzi doing at our party anyways? Guess he got served then. After a few more photos I found what Davie was talking about: a picture of him peeing. Luckily, the guy hadn't captured his dick, but you could see the arc of pee coming out of him into the toilet. I couldn't hold my laugh any longer so I burst into mindless giggling.

"Michelle! Stop lookin'!" and with that said, he dropped the fat man on his head, leaving James struggling with him.

"Davie c’mon, you’re killing him! And don't worry, I already deleted it, see?" I showed him the camera. "Now go and carry the dude out".

Davie grumbled, but went back to help James out. I followed both of them as they made their way to the backdoor of our kitchen, enjoying how James' muscles tensed at the weight of the unconscious paparazzi. When we were finally outside, Davie and James laid the guy down against the wall, with his camera a top his belly.

"Phew" Davie breathed "thank you so much Chelle"

I coughed.

Reluctantly, Davie shook hands with James. "...thanks man" What's wrong with him?

"Welcome dude", James answered back.

After a small awkward silence, Davie talked "What do we do now?"

"We? You are going to stay out of trouble and far away from me! Bye." I left Davie with an indignated expression and went back to the party with James. Stupid Davie and his stupid troubles.

Coming into the room, I could see there were more people on the dance floor than sitting down. Sass was still with Andy, watching how he took out his lip piercing with his tongue only. Carlos and Logan were on the dance floor with almost everybody else. The guys from My Chem were sitting with their wives, and Jared, Shannon, and Tomo were playing with the chocolate fountain, those lovely men. It seemed to me that everyone was having a blast, though I couldn't see Lila anywhere and neither Kendall. They probably were together.

I smiled at the thought of me and my two best friends being with our dream boys. Sass with Andy, Lila with Kendall and I was here standing by James' side, his hand touching the back of my arm lightly. Could it be possible that we may have gained them as friends? Even if James had arrived late and Davie had interrupted our "talking", the night was still young, and I was going to make sure it was that way. All of a sudden, I felt more confident. I was finally starting to feel like the beautiful vocalist of the band that everyone wanted to meet.

"What do you wanna do?" James asked me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Let's go and say hi to My Chemical Romance and AFI first, and then I'll tell you" I answered him with a wink. Yeah, I can feel the fire in me rising!

So we walked over to their sits, talking about our favorite music on the way. I realized James and I didn't share the same music tastes, but at least he really liked my band, and I was happy with that. We said hi to AFI and Davey Havok kissed my hand! After saying goodbye we went over My Chemical Romance. They were sitting with 30 Seconds to Mars (they knew each other from the scene) talking about something. I introduced myself only to be told that they too already knew who I was! It was all going swell until Shannon opened his mouth.

"Is that your boyfriend?" he questioned with a naughty smile, already knowing what the answer was.

"No, no! James is my- he is- James sings in a band called Big Time Rush!" my face was red like a tomato as I tried to explain. I glanced at James to see he was also shifting awkwardly in his feet.

"Yeah, I'm just a friend, right?" James looked at me with a reassuring expression. It calmed my shame a little.

"That's too bad you guys" Lyn-Z (Gerard Way's wife) said, "you would look really cute together"

"Yeah James, this girl here is golden" added Jared as he patted my arm and winked. I felt like I was back with my parents for some reason. Someone shoot me.

"Uh-yeah, I know that" and he smirked at me "but I've just met her this night Mr. Leto" James responded with a shy smile. Was he blushing? (also “Mr. Leto”- what a gentleman!)

"Oh, I'm sorry then, go and have fun" Jared grinned at James. I looked at him with a troubled expression. He eyed me and pulled me up to him.

"You'll thank me. He's pretty obvious, anyway" he whispered in my ear, with James still looking.

What did he meant with obvious? He was being obvious! Whispering in my ear in front of James! I wasn't mad at Jared (how could I ever be?), but I don't see how his comments could've helped.

With that said I excused myself and left before my idols could tell James that I wanted to date him. So much for feeling confident.

"Well...That was-"

"I know, I know... Forgive them. Rockstars aren't known for their great tact" I joked.

"Yeah I noticed" he sucked in a breath and huffed a laugh. Thank goodness he is laughing about it.

"So, um, you wanna go dance?" I heard James ask me.

At first I couldn't believe I was hearing him say that, but then I remembered who I was. Of course he would ask me. I have to keep reminding myself that maybe I am worthy of him.

We made our way to the dance floor, and started dancing to the melody of Neeyo's "Give Me Everything". I found Lila was dancing with Kendall, but they were more concentrated in joking about something than the actual dancing. Sass was trying to convince Andy to dance, playfully pulling him near the stage; they looked so cute together. Best of all, Davie was nowhere to be seen. I just hope he is not in trouble or something (and if he is I'm not going to help him).

We danced several songs, James and I gaining more confidence as each passed. By the fifth song he grabbed my hips and I placed my arms over his shoulders. I was melting, feeling the muscles of his neck; he was too sexy, and up this close, he smelled so good. We stayed like that for almost two hours, trying to keep a conversation surrounded by the loud music, giggling and smiling at each other. When we made eye contact his eyes sparkled with the lights, it was so magical I wanted this moment to last forever. Finally, I felt I couldn't stand dancing with my shoes anymore, so I informed James about it, and we sat down on the bar to grab a drink and chat.

We talked about everything: our careers, our bands (I finally got to tell him how great I though Big Time Rush was), our lives before we became famous (when I told him I had started to study Architecture in college he told me that would've been his career choice too; what a coincidence!), our hometowns, our family, pets, friends, and even school! Time passed fast by his side because it was spent so well. That's why when Logan and Carlos walked over to our table and told him it was 3:30 in the morning and that everyone was leaving, we were surprised. The place was almost empty save for a few bands (with drunken band members) and Big Time Rush.

"Let's go man, I just remembered gotta be somewhere at 9" sighed Carlos. He sounded tired.

"Okay then, go get Kendall, I'll meet you guys at the car" James waved him to where Kendall was, looking at something in his phone with Lila. James got up his seat and I did too. He grabbed my hands with his fingers delicately and squeezed them a little. "This was... fun" his smile grew as he said each word. "It was. I'm very happy I could meet you James, you're cool" and I swung our hands between us.

"I can say the same thing about you" and then he let go off my hands to take his phone out of his back pocket "We should keep in touch, you know, since you're going on tour for a long time... Is that okay with you?" he said this looking nervous.

Okay?! It was more than okay! "Yeah, I would like that too. Here, I'll give you my number" my fingers trembled as I saved my number, even after I had spent all of the evening with him.

"Sweet" James said as I gave him his phone back, "I'll call you- wait, are you going to be out of the US?"

"Oh yes, yes we are, but only a bit"

"Cool"

"Yeah" I smiled.

"Yeah... I suppose I have to leave now" and he leaned down to my level to peck my cheek, taking a second longer than normal. "Good luck and see you... some other day" and with a heart melting smile, he walked away, leaving my cheek burning where his lips had touched it.

Gosh, he is so perfect, and I had spent the night with that perfection! Not only that, but he asked for my number, and we had danced, and talked, and laughed, and-

"Hey, pretty!" Shannon Leto interrupted my thoughts, throwing and arm around my shoulder. I found myself surrounded by the three members of 30 Seconds to Mars.

"Your boyfriend left?" asked Tomo mockingly as Jared chuckled in my ear.

"Aw, you guys are unbelievable. I can't believe you're grown adults and still act like dorks" I pouted at the trio.

"We’re sorry" Tomo said with a more serious tone. "We couldn't help it when we saw you; ahh, young love... so beautiful" he put his hand together on his cheek like a princess. It was pretty funny.

"Yeah, you kids don't seem to realize how both of you want each other"

"Both?" I asked Shannon, but Jared answered.

"Common, he looked like he wanted to eat you and you... I'm surprised you didn't drool on his shoes or something" he laughed lightly.

"Shut up" I told them all. "Are you guys leaving?"

"Yes, we came to say goodbye" answered Shannon, and they all hugged me one by one before leaving.

This night had been great, and I'm still not tired of repeating it in my head; I'll probably keep on repeating it for a long time. I met my favorite band and many others that I love, including Big Time Rush, and I had clicked very well with James Maslow, whom had been my celebrity crush since my Senior Year. Thinking about that, it seemed too far away, when it had just been 2 years ago. If this is just the beginning, I can't imagine what the future has prepared for me and my band.

First album tour, here I come!

#my stories #name: Boyfriend #c1: Party in the House

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

These Paper Walls Can Hold Your Feelings - Trixya - Star

“We live in adjacent apartments/hotel rooms and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU set during the filming of season 7.

(Saw the prompt, fell in love with the prompt, wrote the prompt. Tempted to write a part 2)

I hope you enjoy!:)

When katya had first arrived at his hotel room he had cried.

He’d cried when he knew he could never win or even come close to winning up against the amazing bunch of girls that season as he sat in a grimy bathroom stall midway through the first day of filming - and he’d cried as he took his makeup off back in his own hotel bathroom after the day had ended.

Outside, it was raining, he thought. At least, that’s what the noise of the pelting droplets against the window of his room told him.

He opened one of the curtains, casting a fleeting look across the scenery of dreary Los Angeles.

It rarely rained here, or so he was told. Living in Boston for most of his life, he had become used to the relentless fall of rain on to the city. Yet to have it rain in LA on his first day there when it hardly ever did felt somewhat like a grim foreshadowing of his experience not only in LA but in drag race.

I bet Rupaul set the clouds out just for me, humoured Katya to himself.

It wasn’t that the girls weren’t nice, he acknowledged. If he was honest, they were far from a bad bunch of girls. Every individual, maybe apart from one confectionary named queen had greeted him with the warmth and respect that he was unaccustomed to. Strange.

I think I’ve gathered everybody’s names, he muttered to himself as he sat down on his bed, attempting to recall if he did actually manage to pick up every queen’s name at some point during the day.

Ginger.

Jaidynn.

Jasmine.

Kandy - though he’d rather blank her from his mind, for now. The age comment towards tempest was completely unnecessary and uncalled for. Ah - he shook himself. Of course.

Tempest.

Kennedy.

Max.

Mrs - Miss Fame.

Pearl.

Mrs Kasha Davis

Sasha - or maybe Shantelle?

Violet.

- And Tracy, wait - no. He scalded himself internally. How in the name of the Russian gods could I forget the name of a living Barbie doll - Tallulah? That can’t be it.

Sprawling backwards onto the comfortable hotel mattress, he allowed himself to close his eyes, even if only for a small number of seconds. If i fall asleep there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep tonight ready for filming tomorrow. He knew his body clock well enough to determine that.

Pressing his face into an overly fluffy pillow, he let out an exasperated sigh.

Mother, I’m having an existential crisis again. He flicked on the television as a distraction once he had discovered the remote laying on his bedside table. Five channels? Wonderful. They really mean it when they tell you no contact with the outside world at all. Contact. I should have brought my DVD. The television was switched off within half of a commercial about some god awful crime drama with little plot and overly dramatic background music. Enough of that. It was less than a minute later, he guessed, that the door of the hotel room next to his slammed shut forcefully. He jolted up into a sitting position almost immediately, knocking the television remote that he’d neglected to put back onto the bedside table from his hand and on to the carpeted floor.

Shit. He cursed to himself as the batteries flew out of the remote and under the bed. It’s not like I’ll be watching much television anyway, he regarded, I’ll be too busy drowning my sorrows in overthinking. Quit being so miserable, Katya. He rolled his shoulders slightly, attempting to relieve some of the tension in his body. A masseuse would be ideal right about now. A groan of satisfaction left his lips as he clicked his back and neck. If I don’t have arthritis by the time I’m 40 it will be a miracle.

Continuing with his seemingly over exaggerated stretching, he let the unwitting noises of pleasurable pain escape his mouth - until a laugh startled him.

Where did that - more laughter.

Perplexed, Katya looked firstly towards the door of his hotel room and then to the small vent hiding next to his bed.

Katya would have though that - surely this hotel had more modern and technologically advanced ventilation than a single vent located practically at the bottom of the wall separating his room and next door.

Evidently not, he realised, when the voice that had previously been laughing infiltrated his ears through the wall of the hotel room.

One of the queens, he noted. Though, that much should have been obvious to him since the beginning as the whole corridor of his hotel floor was home to himself and his fellow queens for the duration of filming.

“Hey-”. Began the voice, one which he recognised.

“- just to warn you, these walls are paper thin”

Katya, still puzzled, lowered himself to the floor next to the vent. Back resting, albeit uncomfortably against the wall, he opened his mouth ready to respond to the queen next door which he determined to be the girl he could not for the life of him remember the name of.

Tina?

Toby?

Maybe even Tilly?

“Sorry”. Katya stated simply, before he continued.

“I’ll try to keep it down”. Katya let his head fall back tiredly against the wall, creating a louder thump than he had initially anticipated.

“No don’t worry - I didn’t mean for that to come across as rude, I swear”. The voice began to ramble, and Katya felt his cheeks turn up ever so slightly at the younger - he assumed younger, anyway - queens distress.

“It didn’t”. Admitted Katya, establishing that the other boy must have moved closer to the vent on his side of the wall as the sound of his voice sounded a lot stronger and clearer the second time he spoke.

“Oh”. He heard the voice breathe, accompanied by a low cough.

“You’re Katya though, right?”. Persisted the other queen, and Katya knew then he’d have to face the inevitable awkward situation of asking for the Barbie doll-like queens name.

Katya nodded, before realising that god damn it you idiot, people can’t see through walls - even if they are thinner than tissue paper.

“Yeah, yeah”. Katya inhaled.

“What’s your name again?”. He questioned tentatively, listening to the cackle that left the other queen. That’s definitely a unique laugh - or rather scream, observed Katya.

“I’m that memorable, huh?”.

Katya could feel himself blushing, the heat rising to his cheeks and making hi forget the tear tracks of left over black eyeliner that must have been streaked across them.

“Ah - I’m so sorry”. It was Katya’s turn to ramble.

“It’s just been a really weird day and I just - I don’t know what I expected it to be like but it’s just so - tough, and I never really remember things well under pressure and - ”.

“Trixie”. His rambles were cut short by a single word from the other queen, who he could now attach a name to.

Trixie.

Obviously it was Trixie, he realised.

Trixie Mattel.

“Boy name is Brian, though”. Added Trixie, slouching against the bleak, grey wall of his own hotel room.

Katya laughed, the most that he had for the entirety of the day.

“Could we stick to drag names?”. Questioned Katya, pulling at a loose thread on the carpeted floor he remained sat upon. When he heard no response for upwards of five seconds, apart from a heavy silence, he began to elaborate.

“Just - my names Brian too, it could get a little complicated”. He admitted, once again hearing the scream of a laugh that seemed to leave Trixie’s body whenever he found something even moderately amusing.

“Alright”. Trixie exhaled breathily, fiddling with scraping the remnants of nail polish of of his fingernails.

The silence around them became weighty once again after their conversation had halted. Both boys, self admittedly had never been good at small talk. It’s just not a gift my genetics decided I needed in life, Trixie always reasoned - whereas Katya put it down to himself just being stupidly socially inept.

Thanks, anxiety.

The clock on the table across the room read eight in the evening when Trixie spoke next.

“I heard you crying earlier”. His words were soft and caring, almost protective as he pressed his cheek to the cool wall on the opposite side to Katya.

Recalling the night, Katya acknowledged that Trixie must have simply had her luggage delivered when he had heard the slam of the strong wooden door, and had in fact, been in his room long before Katya himself.

He would be informed that yeah, pretty much - that’s what happened, when he would speak to Trixie in the work room the next day. You’re very observant, though - Trixie would comment.

“I’m sorry”. Katya began, slouching further onto the wall, closing his eyes in presumed tiredness.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you or-”.

“Katya”. Trixie cut him off, worry filling his voice immediately as he heard the depression in Katya’s tone.

“Chill out”. Trixie eased, words calm.

“I was thankful to hear some noise, to be honest. I was worried I’d be locked in here for weeks with no noise or anybody to talk to”. Trixie continued, laughing lightly at the end of his sentence.

Giggling, Katya let out a breath of air that he didn’t realise he was holding.

A pause in their conversation allowed both Katya and Trixie to reposition themselves against their respective sides of the wall. Trixie swivelled his legs out from underneath him, stretching them out across the floor, whereas Katya laid down on the soft carpeted floor, head next to the vent that he’d become quite thankful for in the past ten or so minutes.

“Is the security guy in the hall?”. Trixie spoke seconds later, waiting patiently for Katya’s response.

“Mmh”. Katya mumbled, feeling sleep attempting to take over his body.

“The crew said there’d be alternating guards all the way through the night”. Katya finished, glancing over to the door of his room.

This feels more like a prison cell than it should.

“I’d come and give you a hug if I could”. Trixie laughed, attempting to make Katya feel slightly better - he could easily tell by the older mans tone of voice that he was anything but happy in that moment.

Laughing along with Trixie, Katya picked up a half empty bottle of water from the floor next to him, rolling it around aimlessly keeping himself occupied.

“I feel like I need the whole Russian army to come and hug me right now - is that weird?”.

“I mean-”. Trixie paused to chuckle airily.

“Maybe not the Russian army? But yeah - I totally get where you’re coming from”.

“I’m coming from the land of existentialism and homosexuality, Barbara”. As Katya spoke in one of his many strange voices, he heard Trixie cackling.

“You really do have a unique laugh, has anybody ever told you that?”.

“Yeah, you’re dad did last weekend”.

“I’m sorry that was so awful - feel free to eliminate me as soon as possible”. Katya confessed, continuing to listen to Trixie who seemingly found Katya’s words funnier than they actually were.

“Shut up, you fool”. Trixie joked, no malice in his voice at all.

“I’m the fool? I’m not the giant children’s toy, girl”.

“Was that a fat joke? Or an age joke? Or both-”.

It was Katya’s turn to laugh. Wheezing reverberated throughout his body, chest heaving and eyes closing in undeniable joy.

“You should be a comedian, Trix”.

“Why do you think I’m here, Putin?”.

When Katya listened to Trixie again, he focused on the sympathetic tendencies of Trixie’s words.

“You are ok though, right? If you don’t want to talk about it I get that but - nobody just cries for no reason and -”.

“I’m fine I just - I don’t think I was prepared, y'know?”.

Trixie hummed in agreement, which was barely heard through the vent by Katya’s

“As soon as I walked in to the workroom I felt so out of my depth”.

Katya paused.

“I’ll be out next week, guaranteed”.

A single chuckle from Trixie, followed by an unseen smile from Katya.

Maybe the ball of bright pink was right. “I think people are going to like you a lot more than you realise”.

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #these paper walls can hold your feelings #star #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant

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