#i think they probably had a very unstable friendship w a lot of really bad lows (bpd4bpd moment) but they did genuinely care abt each other

[mydisasteracademia]

SFW Alphabet: Shouta Aizawa

Ah, the grumpy caterpillar. I love this man so much.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s a lot like a cat. Generally doesn’t care for public displays of affection, but when he goes to you he likes to do little things like hold your hand or wrap his arm around your waist. He’s quiet with his affection.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Honestly? Not that much different from the usual, aside from him being a little bit more friendly. He’s incredibly private with most matters of his life, but if he’s a good friend at least he’ll go out drinking with you sometimes. Your friendship likely started away from his work, given that he doesn’t like to mix his working and personal lives together.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

If the two of you are alone, he loves cuddling. Sitting on the couch? In bed? He’s curled up to your side, head in your lap as he dozes off. If he’s sitting and reading or going through papers, he might pull you in to sit in his lap and rest his chin on your shoulder as he works.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

This man. This poor man. He utterly sucks at cooking. Can’t make dinner to save his life. Once burnt a grilled cheese sandwich so bad both sides of the bread were black. Still ate it because, well, food. He’s a little better at cleaning, if he could get enough energy to commit to the task. I don’t picture him as the type to settle down. He’s got too much trauma and far too many trust issues to fully commit. That, and he’s a Pro Hero. There is no way in hell he would ever expose his crush/significant other to the stresses that come with being married to a hero.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d probably sit you down and say it flat-out. “I want to break up.” His face is blank, but he’s sad on the inside -- he really liked you and he doesn’t want to end it, but he has to for your own safety. He doesn’t blame you if you hate him after this; it’ll just make it easier to protect you.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Fucking terrified of getting married, and not because he’s a forever bachelor. He was already nervous about getting into a relationship due to his job; he would never be able to live with himself if you got targeted because someone figured out who he was and wanted to get back at him. He would definitely drag it out until you finally demand answers as to why he’s hesitant to take your relationship to the next level.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Shouta is a relatively blunt individual, but he can have his tender moments. These usually happen when you’re alone together and he doesn’t have to keep up appearances. He can get fairly clingy when cuddling up to you and you can see the affection in his eyes and when he speaks to you. But when you’re in public again? The only way you see it is in his eyes and the way his hand lingers near yours.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Doesn’t like hugs when in public. He prefers people keep their distance, but if his students are having a rough day he’s not gonna shove them off if they need a hug. With you, however, he prefers to save any and all outward displays of affection for when you’re alone and he can really unwind. When you’re alone, he loves hugging you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

You’d probably end up saying it first. He’s really nervous about dropping the L-word in the beginning because he’s paranoid. He’s very protective of his friends, and as long as he considers you a friend, he’s gonna be scared of finally admitting his feelings to you. Might end up saying it to you when he’s totally smashed, and is regretful and avoidant the next morning until you finally corner him about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Doesn’t really get jealous easily unless your relationship has progressed quite a bit. He doesn’t mind if Hizashi or Nemuri get really close and affectionate with you because he knows they wouldn’t purposefully try to get a rise out of him like that, and Tensei is respectful and friendly from a distance. He definitely doesn’t get jealous of his students hogging your attention whenever you meet them, because they’re still just kids and he knows you wouldn’t do something stupid. When it comes to other people, however, he can get irritated easily the more friendly they are with you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses can be deep and purposeful when you’re alone. He kisses you to make a statement - “I love you”. Sometimes they can be quick but no less meaningful. Just something to get him through the day until he can relax in the evening.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Doesn’t really care. He can handle children well enough, but he doesn’t prefer them. He cares about Eri, but he’s been her guardian for a while and she has her ways of winning over even the most hardened of adults. Generally can handle kids easier than teenagers because he considers them troublesome and unpredictable.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Despite how it might seem, he’s really regimented in the morning and can even get up before you do. He takes his job very seriously and is always awake and sipping some coffee at the same time each morning. Of course he’s going to nap during the day, but that’s during off-time when he doesn’t need to be teaching. (Or when the kids have study time.)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He spends the daytime finishing work so that he can come home and relax with you. During the early evening he likes to eat dinner with you and relax on the couch afterwards, head in your lap as you talk about your day. As the night winds down, if he’s not already napping with you on the couch he’s heading to bed with you, curled up with you in a deep sleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s really private about himself, and it takes a lot to get him to open up. Usually it’s a couple of things at a time while you’re friends; a story from his time at Yuuei, some silly stories about his friends, maybe something ridiculous that his students did the other day. When he gets really depressed (and you’re far enough into the relationship that he trusts you enough), he might talk of his dead loved ones - Oboro, maybe a previous student that he couldn’t save from a traumatic event, his fears for his current batch.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

To his credit, he has a lot more patience than most would think. He brushes off insults about himself, easy peasy. But even he has his tipping points, and it’s usually when someone insults his friends or students too many times. Especially when they start insinuating that one of his students would be better suited as a villain.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He can be forgetful about little details sometimes, but he remembers the most important things about you. He makes it a point to remember every anniversary and birthday and will sometimes give you little presents he knows you like.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory of you is when you stood up and protected his students during a villain attack. You were out on a shopping trip (really, why can’t they go anywhere without something happening?) and some random villain cornered a group of students and threatened them. You wasted no time in getting between them and the villain and keeping him away from them until he could be subdued.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He can be incredibly protective of you. Due to his job, both as a Pro and as a teacher, not a day goes by that he doesn’t worry about you being caught up in an attack, especially by the League. He would drop everything to aid you if you were attacked (especially considering you aren’t a hero). Although he doesn’t go looking for it, he greatly appreciates it when you’ve got his back too.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does do his best to split things with you, but sometimes he’s too overworked and he has to shift some responsibility onto you. He hates doing this and tries to do his fair share so that you don’t get frustrated. He does his best to do things for anniversaries and dates, but his schedule is packed and unstable, and he sometimes has to apologize and reschedule. If he knows he can’t make something, he does leave you a present and a written apology.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be standoffish and curt, especially in public. He has an image he wants to uphold, and he doesn’t appreciate attempts to undermine that. He can be fairly lazy when he wants to be and naps quite a bit.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not that concerned. As long as he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed five seconds ago, he’s good. He does make attempts to clean up nicely when it comes to press conferences, as rare as they are.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

To be blunt, not really. He appreciates your company, but if you broke it off, he would be able to move on.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I have this serious headcanon that Hizashi bought Eri a matching sleeping bag because she wanted to be like Shouta, and his heart promptly melted. The two take naps together during some afternoons and it’s the cutest thing in the world.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anything villainous or dangerous. He wants to make sure his friends, colleagues, and students are save above all else, and if he suspects that you’re either a turncoat or a dangerous person? He’s going to call you on it. He doesn’t appreciate judgmental people, either. Say one comment about his kids and he’s already looking at you a little more cautiously.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Horrible sleep schedule. Considering his full-time job being a teacher now (as well as the occasional mission undercover), he doesn’t get nearly as much sleep as he should. He staves it off somewhat with coffee, but it’s an extremely common sight to see him get into his sleeping bag and just doze.

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

How are Jesse and vrox? I miss them

:’) They’re doing great Nonnie!! Just for you, here’s the SFW alphabets I wrote for them (belong the cut because they’re a tad long):

VROX:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Vrox is very physically affectionate. Cuddling, putting his head on his partner’s shoulder, holding their hand, kissing them no matter where they are, wrapping his arms around their waist, playing with their hair, getting them in a headlock, he’s very touchy.

B = Best friend (Who is their best friend? How did the friendship start?)

Vrox doesn’t have any best friends, he has a lot of friends but the way he feels for them is kind of equal all-round. If he had to choose, he’d say Jesse is still his best friend.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Vrox is big on cuddling. If he and a partner or even a friend are sitting or lying down together, he will cuddle them. One of his favourite positions is lying with his head or his feet in his partner’s lap.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Vrox considers himself settled down. His and Jesse’s apartment is his home base that he ranges from, at the end of the day he can always come back and be disgustingly domestic and cute. He thinks cleaning is boring but he genuinely enjoys doing the dishes, because he can blast whatever music he wants and sing to it loudly and nobody is allowed to complain because he’s cleaning up. He’s not bad at all at cooking, he’s just lazy and prefers eating cereal.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’s not great or very considerate at it. He’d probably just very clearly drift away and ghost them, until they confront him or he finally bites the bullet and breaks up with them. He’s very blunt, even if he tries to say it kindly (or not, depending on why he’s breaking up with someone) and his break-ups usually lead to fights and yelling.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Vrox is a very loyal person, but he thinks legal binding is stupid, a waste of time, and shallow compared to how he feels for his partners. He really, really doesn’t see the point, but he would go through with it if his partner wanted to, and yes he would end up crying.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s never really gentle gentle. He’s either rough or he’s playful or he’s intense. Varying degrees of asshole, from endearing to picking a fight. But that just means that when he is gentle, it means something much more.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs, but he prefers giving them. His favourite hug is coming up behind someone, wrapping his arms around their waist and resting his head on the top of theirs or on their shoulder, depending on how tall they are.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Often. Vrox isn’t one to curb his emotions, if he’s feeling a lot of affection, he’ll say it. In a new relationship he says it pretty quickly and casually. Vrox feels anger very intensely, but he feels love just as fiercely.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s the most jealous in his trio, but he’s still not that bad. He tends to act it up sometimes to be dramatic. It’s not very deep, just little flashes of “I want them, not you” but nothing bad, and he gets over it quickly.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He’s very passionate, he goes for it without any insecurities. Sometimes he can go a bit too hard a bit too fast, but it’s not too bad.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Vrox is great with little kids, he’s the guy who waves or makes funny faces at babies in stores until they laugh. He doesn’t desperately want kids of his own, though, and teenagers tend to rub him the wrong way – he likes to be the most sullen, angry thing in the area at all times.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Vrox really doesn’t mind early mornings, but that will not stop him from complaining loudly through yawns. He likes having a long lie-in, conversation and cuddle before he gets up. Most of the time he showers early.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Normally there’s some kind of music and bad dancing, maybe chill binging of a show or movie, making dinner in the messiest way possible. Also, sex of some kind, he has a high libido and he just likes being close to those he loves. If not, definitely cuddling or sweet touching.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Vrox really can’t hide his emotions or secrets if he tries. Pretty much what you see is what you get. He will open up willingly more and more as the relationship goes on, though, about his frustrations with himself and how he wishes he didn’t have this emotion management issue.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I know this may come as a shock, but Vrox is the least patient person on earth. Unless someone really can’t help it, then he’s a bit more considerate… but not by much.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about their partners? Do they remember every little detail they mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries, but sometimes info just doesn’t stick in his brain. He will occasionally forget anniversaries, but for some reason he’s better at remembering tiny insignificant details.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?)

With Jesse, it was when he first met him, and when they had their first kiss. Nothing had ever calmed him down so quickly in his hound form and he never would have thought he would be worthy of someone like Jesse. He cried after their first kiss and just held him through the rest of the night, treasuring every second. He never stopped.

With Dante, it was when Vrox comforted him after a PTSD episode. Despite his sulking and annoyance at Dante for being so tough on him, he knows Dante only does it to keep him – and those around him – safe and that he just wants to help him. Being able to be there for him in a moment of rare vulnerability really impacted Vrox. It was also a good reminder to him that he wasn’t the only one struggling.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partners? How would they like to be protected?)

Vrox is protective… of everyone. If a stranger is harassing another stranger in the subway he will shove between them, if somebody is being really rude to a retail worker he will call them a dickwad. Even if it makes the situation worse, he just can’t let it go. He likes taking the spotlight off the person being attacked: he’d rather the situation escalate at him, rather than them. God help if somebody he actually cares about is being harassed. As for being protected, it makes him feel special, safe and loved.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He usually forgets anniversaries until the last minute when he runs and buys a gift. If you want to see Vrox panic, just ask him “do you remember what today is?” and he’ll shit himself. With dates he’s more casual but he always makes sure his partners have a good time. He likes giving gifts and seeing people’s faces light up, so his loved ones expect a few gifts every few months. If he sees something that even vaguely reminds him of them, he’ll buy it in an instant. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Let’s be honest, Vrox can be difficult to love. He has mood swings, days where he’s inexplicably furious, he can be lazy and too blunt. However, he is aware of all of these things and actively working every day to get better. His bad habits include: forgetting to vacuum until the dust bunnies start unionizing, being a few minutes late to everything, and liking mainstream pop music.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s a pretty vain bastard. He knows full well that he’s hot despite all his scars (and, frequently, bruises) and he capitalizes on it. The reason he’s late to most appointments is he’s trying to get his hair to sit exactly right (fighting a losing battle, his hair obeys no man, woman or person.)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partners?)

Yes. He’d still have his friends and family that is the pack, but without Jesse and Dante he might have become a nightmare.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He wears his partners’ clothes when he’s feeling very unstable, to try and hold onto the thought of what matters most to him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Jesse using up all the hot water with his longass showers annoys him. Dante being such a bossy, demanding asshole annoys him even more. In general he hates people who pity him or act like he’s delicate or like he’s going to blow up at them if they don’t step carefully around him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He usually sleeps on his stomach with his pillow in a death grip, or spooning.

JESSE:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jesse’s very affectionate with both words and physical touch, but the peak of his affection lies in very companionable, warm silence. He wants his loved ones to know how much he loves them all the time, with many small touches, gestures and words. He’s very encouraging and he likes holding hands – he’s gotten more comfortable doing it in public, too.

B = Best friend (Who is their best friend? How did the friendship start?)

Practically the whole pack is his best friend, everybody adores him, and he has a lot of human friends, too. He gets along great with a hound named Taylor, another named Lisa, Heath, Noah, and he’s friends with June, too. But he still considers Vrox his best friend, because that’s what they were before they started dating and that’s what they still are.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddling, he’ll almost never protest it, but he does need his space sometimes, especially if he’s trying to concentrate on something: for example, he really doesn’t like being touched or held while he’s trying to sleep, it distracts him too much.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He feels very happily settled down. The only nagging detail in his 1910’s brain is that he’s not married yet. He’s a very good cook, since his mum and dad taught him well, and he’s very diligent with cleaning. His spaces are messy, but they’re never dirty.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d think about it very long and hard, and then have a heartfelt conversation with his partner and pray that it ends cordially because he never wants to hurt somebody he loves or has loved.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He is a very devoted person and was raised with a much stricter commitment policy by his parents and society at the time. When he loves somebody and he can’t imagine life without them, he’ll start to think about marriage – even just for the thought. Tying the knot is the dream.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Jesse is a very sweet person. He’s very considerate and he never wants to hurt anyone – but he’s not above playfully teasing, punching people’s arms or ruffling their hair.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He enjoys hugs a lot, he just needs to be alerted to when somebody’s going to hug him. (If Vrox is going to hug him from behind, he’s gotten in the habit of tapping Jesse lightly on the shoulder before he grabs him.) Despite the fact that he’s pretty lanky, he gives beautiful hugs, you can just tell how much he cares about you through the hug.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Jesse was reserved with those three little words for a long time, but through his years with friends and partners he’s relaxed with it a lot more. He still never wants it to lose its meaning, though, it’s never just a throwaway thing to him.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He felt a lot more insecure at the beginning of his relationship with Vrox, and because of that they opened their relationship very slowly. Now he’s very comfortable in himself and knows he’s irreplaceable, jealousy is mostly a bad memory.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He’s a very safe kisser, he knows what he’s doing and follows his partner to match their mood. He often cups his partner’s face or plays with their hair or strokes patterns on their skin while he kisses them, it’s very cute – also when he’s really having a good time he won’t be able to stop smiling which interferes with the kiss in a very cute way.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He feels very awkward around babies and very young kids because he never knows how to deal with them, but he’s very good with teenagers.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Jesse likes sleep-ins, but he also doesn’t mind getting up early – despite falling asleep late the night before. He takes most of the early shifts for his work, so he eats breakfast, has a shower, then he kisses his boyfriends goodbye and off he goes.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Jesse is a massive night owl and he’ll often stay awake till 2AM or later. He has a lot more energy at night so expect him dancing feverishly in his socks to music in his headphones while he does chores he neglected during the day.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Jesse doesn’t hide the things that happened to him, but he also never tells anyone unless they ask. He’s pretty open about his emotions, though, he knows that keeping secrets in any relationship is bound to end badly so he never lets things sit and rot, he’ll always communicate his feelings.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jesse is a painfully patient person. He won’t lose his cool with anyone – except bigots. Unreasonable people who are just filled with hate and don’t want to learn anything or respect other people just existing? He will need to be held back.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about their partners? Do they remember every little detail they mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things, big and little, but if he’s stressed or busy things will slip a bit.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?)

With Vrox, it was the first night he did karaoke with him. The pack’s a bunch of idiots so they hold karaoke nights in the communal area. Jesse was still very much in his shell, but Vrox got him up on stage. Vrox was in a super good mood that night too: he didn’t try to pressure Jesse, he just told him it’d be fun with a big genuine smile and Jesse trusted him. They sang together and hammed it up in the most dramatic way possible, and Jesse was shocked by how much fun he had. It was the moment he realized he didn’t have to have his guard up around everyone, and that he genuinely liked Vrox – despite having some reservations about this abrasive white boy beforehand.

With Dante, it was when Jesse was feeling very, very low again – the lowest he’d felt since he killed himself. Dante noticed and reminded him that he was here for him, and Jesse finally took a big step and opened up. Dante dropped everything to listen and comfort him about it. It was the first time somebody had really been there for him since his parents died. He trusted somebody for the first time in a long time.

(Note: Dante dropped everything for him because he still felt guilty about not being able to be there for him when he first arrived in Hell. It had been a busy, bloody night with a lot of new arrivals, and unfortunately Jesse slipped through the cracks and had to deal with his shock, confusion and despair alone. Dante will never forgive himself for letting that happen to him, even though it wasn’t his fault.)

The first time he kissed them both were also very, very big moments for him. He holds them close to his heart.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partners? How would they like to be protected?)

Jesse is very protective. He doesn’t really care what people say or do to him, he’s very used to it, but if somebody goes after anyone else, he’ll be furious. Even though both his boyfriends are bigger and scarier than him and they can take care of themselves, he’ll still try and put himself between them and the aggressor – whether to defend them or try and deescalate the situation. He picks a surprising amount of fights for such a sweet guy.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

What makes a date enjoyable to Jesse isn’t the location, it’s just spending time with his partner. His dates are chill, intimate and fun. He doesn’t often get gifts for his partners, but when he does, he makes sure they’re really special. Anniversaries are important to him – but again, he doesn’t like to make a massive deal of it, he just wants to enjoy his partners’ company.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

See, letter S. He tends to get into heated arguments and not caring when the situation escalates to dangerous levels, even if he could be hurt. He uses up all the hot water in his showers, but that’s more because he has to take proper care of his hair. He can put others’ problems and emotions above his own. There are random bits of dried paint around the apartment because he zones out while he paints, gets up to get something, and forgets that he has wet paint on his hands. (Yes he has gotten paint in Vrox’s hair before and yes Vrox screamed like he was shot, to which Jesse reached out without even looking and put a big blue handprint across Vrox’s face.)

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He keeps himself looking presentable because hygiene and ‘good impressions, not just the first one’ were always drilled into him by his parents. He used to have a lot of dysphoria surrounding his appearance but since he transitioned he’s learning to be confidant and that he looks handsome and hot as fuck, as Vrox and Dante keep reminding him. He also knows that if he flashes his dimple at someone, he’ll always get what he wants because it’s just that cute. He does kind of hate his borderline baby-face though – it makes ordering drinks and getting into clubs hell.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partners?)

He wouldn’t be incomplete, but he definitely feels more with his partners. He’d still have a ton of friends and lovers and fuck buddies without them, but he wouldn’t feel this specific love that makes him feel more than anything else.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

His favourite food is Skittles. Vrox doesn’t understand how he can like them better than M&Ms. This petty argument has been going on for years now.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He hates that Vrox has to be caged so often, but that’s more because it makes him sad than anything else. Dante not taking care of himself and then ending up in a PTSD stress mess because he doesn’t chill and look after his own mental health frustrates him, mostly because Jesse has to pick up his pieces and help him be put back together again.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He normally sleeps on his side with his arms wrapped around himself, kind of curled up. He has nightmares often.

[artnerd1123]

Nettles’ Character Sheet

it’s been 500 years since i did one of these, but! undercut it goes~

Character Chart Character’s full name: Nettles Nimue Willoweep Reason or meaning of name: Nettles comes from the plant! Since nettles sting, I was originally planning on having her be a lot more prickly. She still is kinda pokey now, tbh. “Willoweep” is just “weeping willow” but smashed together. It’s for the Aesthetic™. Nimue refers to the “lady of the lake” in the legend of king arthur, and because I thought it sounded cool. important to note is that she made up her current name herself, for story reasons Character’s nickname: none (aiden calls her various pet names later), though some people might attempt to call her captain willow. it doesn’t end well.  Reason for nickname: she just doesn’t care for nicknames much, (Aiden’s the exception because they’re overly sappy/joke around a lot with each other later) and she used to be a pirate captain- but isn’t anymore  Birth date: March 28th Sexuality: queer  Gender/pronouns: genderfluid, she/her (occasionally they/them)

Physical appearance Age: 37 How old do they appear: probably around that. Maybe a smidge older. Weight: still have no clue how weight works! She’s got plenty of muscle mass tho :V Height: 5’11” Body build: thinner frame but with plenty of muscle. She’s strong as frick, and more like a steel rod than a stick. plenty buff :3 Shape of face: i still don’t know how to answer this question lsdkjfs, but she’s got a longer face w/ a sharpish chin  Eye color: pale green! Glasses or contacts: neither Skin tone: light brown (african american?) + seafarer’s tan on top of it  Distinguishing marks: she’s got so many scars. So many. The most notable ones being “ligature” marks on her right wrist, and a burn on her neck/left shoulder. Predominant features: her hair is p eyecatching for sure Hair color: emerald/leafy green Type of hair: curly coils  Hairstyle: currently has it in dreadlocks (they look a lil vinelike!), parted to the right  Voice: Jess Glynne - Thursday (but can also sound piratey) Overall attractiveness: strong ex-pirate plant lady,,, pretty in a rugged kind of way,,, ough,,,  Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: pirate, but make it shades of brown/green and a bit less flashy Favorite outfit: dark brown “vest” (actually a dress top she tore the skirt off of) with green accent around front laces, cream off-the-shoulder shirt w/ green accent trim and flowy sleeves, dark brown pants, tan boots w/ straps and gold buckles, large belt w/ gold buckle  Jewelry or accessories: black hoop earrings, an emerald leaf shaped cloak clasp, and a staff made of woven grass (which can turn into a sword)

Personality Good personality traits: generally levelheaded, unafraid to tell people things when needed, determined, patient, ‘do no harm but take no shiz’ mentality, not usually quick to judge, generally easygoing, v dedicated to those she considers family, thinks well under pressure, gives good advice (most of the time), can be p charismatic Bad personality traits: tends not to have much foresight, can come across as aloof, really bad about opening up, keeps too much to herself despite tryna get better abt it, can sometimes overlook traits in favor of just being allies/friends, a lil too willing to get into a fight sometimes, can be too headstrong, lies easily to get out of things Mood character is most often in: contemplative Sense of humor: very dark, likes to playfully tease those she cares about, loves really long jokes, can get a bit crass on occasion Character’s greatest joy in life: currently her forest (teaching journal comes close second some days) Character’s greatest fear: her past coming back to bite her Why? She’s not so much scared of people finding out who she used to be, more uneasy about people using it against her. She doesn’t want people to walk out of her life, but like, if they do, she wouldn’t blame em. She just doesn’t wanna get thrown under the bus for what she did back during pirate days, and accused of being something she isn’t (at least, not anymore.) What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing journal, tbh. She already lost everything- including family- once. She’s not willing to walk down that road again. Character is most at ease when: out among her plants, or chillin in a tavern Most ill at ease when: near the ocean in any capacity Enraged when: people threaten her loved ones/home/etc, people hurt others due to prejudice, people cause destruction in her forest Depressed or sad when: thinking of her old crew, ruminating in her memories for too long, near the ocean, an old tree dies Priorities: keeping the forest safe, producing enough lucrative plants/herbs so she has on hand pocket money, making sure journal’s alright/settling in/has the help he needs if she’s not around to give it Life philosophy: everyone gets their comeuppance eventually, but that doesn’t mean you sit back and wait. Go knock some sense into em if they need it. Take care of people worse off than you, too. A bit of help gets people a long way. If granted one wish, it would be: to have turned back in that storm instead of charging on. Why? Half her crew wouldn’t be dead. She could’ve actually retired instead of stepping down due to catastrophic failure. Her familiar would be alive. Y’know, normal reasons. Character’s soft spot: plants, gold, shiny things, kids Is this soft spot obvious to others? Plants, definitely. The other things you’ll notice if you’re around her long enough Greatest strength: making a decision and seeing it through Greatest vulnerability or weakness: absolutely hates/has a really hard time opening up to other people  Biggest regret: rushing headlong into a storm she had no hope of conquering Minor regret: not travelling inland more when she was a pirate (not a huge deal to her, but it woulda been nice) Biggest accomplishment: either successfully maintaining a ship/captain’s title for ten years, or nurturing her forest from a wildfire charred landscape into a thriving woodsy landscape. Minor accomplishment: finding out how to return gold (if she stole it on accident) without being too weird about it Past failures they would be embarrassed to have people know about: she likely has a ton from her early pirating days. Learning to be a pirate wasn’t super easy all the time Why? She likes to think she’s a competent pirate now, don’t bring that stuff up, thank u v much Character’s darkest secret: dark magic has tempted her many, many times. It still does sometimes. And she almost gave in on a few of those occasions. Does anyone else know? No. they won’t, if she has anything to say about it.

Goals Drives and motivations: moving on aka shoving her past in a closet, being able to keep her forest/new loved ones safe, gold Immediate goals: keep up with her trade partners and her “cash gardens,” check the forest for abnormalities, make sure journ doesn’t need anything that day (and help if he do) Long term goals: keep the forest healthy, keep journal on the right track, continue expanding her budding network of plant trading, hopefully make some more actual progress with her issues How the character plans to accomplish these goals: keep up the “forest guardian” role, send letters to journ/visit him, meet more people, and learn to properly open up. And. y’know. Maybe steal some gold here n there as needed. How other characters will be affected: positively for her loved ones/partners! And maybe possibly probably negatively for those she doesn’t like. Perhaps.

Past Hometown: didn’t have a “town.” lived on ships/ports for her whole life till pirating Type of childhood: unstable, tbh. She was the kid of some merchant questors. Thus, she was always travelling around. Not much time to make/maintain friendships, bond with her parents, or do much besides help out. Any goofing off probably got her yelled at. Her headstrong nature meant she didn’t take kindly to that, so she ran away at 15. Pets: none First memory: the sound of waves. It’s something she’ll never forget, no matter what. Most important childhood memory: seeing pirates in the distance during a trade route! Scary, but she was also in awe of em Why: those pirates inspired her runaway swashbuckling plans when she was a teen! They also showed her an alternative to the dull merchant’s way of fulfilling questor urges. Childhood hero: probably some super well known pirate from a legend a book she smuggled onboard Dream job: anything that wasn’t being a merchant (turned into pirate tho) Education: really good at math, reading, keeping records, and reading the ocean. All thanks to her parents/seabound life! She taught herself plant magic rlly early on, and also learned a lot more things pirating (swordfighting, how to manage a crew, which quests are the most profitable, etc) Religion: Finances: parents took care of childhood finances. She was treasure/stolen loot funded until pirating crashed and burned in her late teen/early adult years~

Present Current location: forest outside Journal’s town. It spans many miles. Currently living with: herself :V Pets: none Religion: Occupation: forest guardian, plant merchant, magic mentor Finances: merchant life pays well enough when she needs it. And, like, she still goes and loots places from time to time. Just keep it quiet, m’kay?

Family Mother: Danielle Chamelea Teritip Relationship with her: though she was v busy, her mother always did her best to keep her daugher on track. She’s the one who pushed nettles really hard to learn, and to focus on becoming a better merchant than entertaining other fantasies. Their relationship wasn’t terrible, but nettles never felt her mom’s approval of her personal goals- just the future her mom wanted. Father: Albus Troise Teritip Relationship with him: he was also very busy, but always took the time to teach her little tricks and tips of the trade. He was also sorta pushy about her becoming a merchant. He never even seemed to notice her pulling away to other fantasies. Why would she? After all, your kid’s gotta carry on the family business. What else would she be doing? Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with them: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: if found family counts, which it does, that’ll be journal! Later in the plot, it expands to fit aiden/roo/seraph/ruffy. In her past, her crew would all have been here

Favorites Color: green. Any shade. Surprising, i know Least favorite color: beige. Boring color, no thank u >:V Music: sea shanties!!! Also likes metal, some pop, and has a fondness for violin/flute music Food: a p p l e s. Also fond of any produce she can eat raw. And crabs. Lov the cronch. Literature: prefers oral stories to reading. But like, history is super interesting to her. Form of entertainment: oral storytelling, showing off (or watching someone show off) magic, stupid tavern karaoke Expressions: loves that devilish smirk of “oh no, they’re up to something bad, hold onto your valuables.” also enjoyable is that eyebrow raise of “did you really just do that? Really? That?” with a deadpan face. Peak expressions. Mode of transportation: swinging/parkouring around through the trees via plant magic and vines, like tarzan, except the vines yeet him instead of swinging sometimes Most prized possession: her staff. She’s had it for years, through good and bad, and it’s not going anywhere. May or may not also have a feather in her cloak clasp for… reasons.

Habits Hobbies: gardening, swordfighting, people and/or birdwatching, storytelling, being extra as all frick every so often so people don’t forget u can and will take them the frick out, applepicking Plays a musical instrument? nope! Plays a sport? Does swordfighting count? How they would spend a rainy day: either inside a town building, tavern, or little canopy of leaves in the forest. Depending on the setting, she’ll just have casual conversations or peoplewatch. Or, if she’s in the forest, she’ll entertain herself with vivid storytelling. Sometimes she’ll jus watch whatever crawled into her dry canopy with her. Or bug journal with excessive letters. Anything chill slkdfjs Spending habits: if she can grow/make/wash it herself, she’s not buying. Spends more gold on trips to town restaurants/taverns than anything else, but it’s chill. ‘S not like she has rent to pay :V Smokes: nope Drinks: rum, of course. What kinda pirate do u take her for??? Also wouldn’t mind whiskey. Drinks a lot less now than she used to. Other drugs: nope What do they do too much of? Being a local cryptid What do they do too little of? Opening up to other human beings instead of plants Extremely skilled at: reading a room, cutting to the chase, sword-and-regular-fighting, plant magic, teaching, stealing/pickpocketing, thinking on her feet Extremely unskilled at: planning ahead, knowing when she should really let things be instead of starting smth, letting her loved ones fight their own fights (she’ll try and step in at least once) Nervous tics: going silent, putting a hand over her mouth, staring really hard at nothing, holding her staff close, squeezing anything in hand (usually her staff end) Usual body posture: holds herself loosely but confidently. Has the air of someone who knows what’s going on, and is at ease wherever. Mannerisms: usually blunt, teases those she cares about (unless told not to), makes hand motions when explaining things, speaks in a more “normal” voice most of the time but can occasionally slip into a piratey accent when angry/upset, tends to unconsciously mimic the accents of those around her if she’s in a new setting, likes to sit back and watch until she judges herself to be “familiar” enough with what’s up Peculiarities: the smell of a lotta salt can sometimes upset her, she’s an extrovert but spends most of her time in the woods/outskirts of towns, she’s still very superstitious from her pirate days

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Tends to err on the side of pessimism nowadays Introvert or extrovert? Big extrovert! She’ll spend time just hanging around places people are if she feels too drained, and really loves spending time with those she cares about Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil with an air of caution about her Logical or emotional? Likes to think she’s more logic based, and acts it, but she’s very emotional driven when it comes down to it Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Very neat, actually! You wouldn’t know it unless u got her to live inside tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Prefers working or relaxing? Mix of both. Enough work so she’s not bored, but enough relaxing so she’s not stressed :V Confident or unsure of themself? Confident for the vast majority of the time. Animal lover? She’s definitely fond of em!!! :D

Self-perception How they feel about themself: eh, she’s alright. It fluctuates some days, but tends to rest firmly in the “I’m fine, and if I’m not, I’ll fix it for tomorrow” realm. If it does fluctuate, she either feels like a traitor/liar, or a cunning bada$$ One word the character would use to describe self: survivor One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “I’m Nettles, Nettles Willoweep. I’m a thirty seven year old sorceress who likes plants more than people. Well, that’s a lie. But it is easier to deal with foliage sometimes. I used to be a pirate a long time ago. Not so much nowadays, but that’s not to say I won’t bend a few rules in a pinch. I do what I need. After all, who’s gonna miss a few coins here and there? Certainly not the other families I slip em to. But uh, hey, don’t go spreading that around. I’ve got a reputation to upkeep.” “I guess I’m a bit of a benevolent local cryptid? Whatever that means. Journal tells me it’s a good thing, and I’ll believe him for now. I’m certainly doing what I can to take care of people who need it, and I’d give my right arm to help those I’m close to. Yeah, my blood runs a little hot sometimes, but that hasn’t changed my whole life. I just wanna see my plants and people prosper, and maybe get some gold on the side.” “... ah, right, hobbies. Gardening, forest guarding, fighting with swords, birdwatching… lots of stuff. As long as I’m not spending all my time slogging through old wounds, i’ll call it a good day.” What does the character consider their best personality trait? Her dedication What does the character consider their worst personality trait? How easily she brushes off concern What does the character consider their best physical characteristic? Not sure! She likes her body, and has no complaints abt it. Maybe her hair or how limber she still is :V What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ How does the character think others perceive them: she thinks the general public perceives her as shady but mostly benevolent. She thinks her loved ones perceive her as blunt, but caring. Both of these are fair analyses, by her thought. What would the character most like to change about themself: make it so she could forgive herself easier, and admit to others that she needs a hand

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: people are easily tricked and dumb. Individuals can be p nice tho. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others? She’s one of those people where, in certain situations, you’re never gonna be sure if she’s being sarcastic/truthful or not. She does it more regularly than she would like, but less so with close friends Person character most hates: i could put some old rival of hers here. Unfortunately, ‘herself’ works better :( Best friend(s): she’s very good friends with several bartenders, but especially the one in journ’s town. She’s hit it off quite nicely with a nomad who passes through every couple weeks or so, too. Journal is also a “best friend,” but like, in a mentee/kid kind of way Love interest(s): aiden, later ;3 Person character goes to for advice: bartender bffs Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: journal journal journal journal jo- Person character feels shy or awkward around: nobody :V Person character openly admires: *insert several pirates/legendary sorcerers/questors/casual hard workers in towns here* Person character secretly admires: eh. Probably aiden for a bit. Wink wonk lskjdfs Most important person in character’s life before story starts: technically journ counts here? But if not, just herself. After story starts: journal for sure

[maggotmouth]

        hi i’m nora ( 23. gmt. she/her ) and it turns out i really miss playing bridget ! i wasn’t feeling frida bt i wanted to explore som of her backstory more so ive kind of fused bits of her into bridget..... sue me.... for those of u who didn’t know her before i dropped her, bridget grew up in a trailer park in texas, she’s an angsty socialist leftie who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about capitalism.  film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. here’s a pinboard !! everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll (probably forget to) smash that im button for plots x

application template.

( cis-female ) haven’t seen BRIDGET MATUSIAK around in a while. the MARGARET QUALLEY lookalike has been known to be GARRULOUS & CANDID, but SHE can also be FICKLE & ERRATIC. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in FILM. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

aesthetics.

thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, roller blades, grazed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes. piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you.

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

knew each other from the cheer team in bridgets freshman year and tatiana’s sophomore year. had a competitive friendship to start with but then they got into a discussion about politics at a party one night, and maybe hooked up a few times after tatiana had jst broken up w someone. they were sort of seeing each other very casually for a bit, but…. they came from vastly different circles n it didn’t really work. they were in a bad partch at the time of the reaping so to speak, and bridget picked her name For A Giggle but now regrets it big time obviously

tw drugs, teen pregnancy

BACKSTORY TIME.. her mother was from the wrong side of the tracks, was chucked out of home pretty young after a teenage pregnancy, wanted 2 go to art school and started working as an erotic dancer to pay for college but then jst…. ended up staying there. one of those girls u see in the documentaries who had Big Plans but ultimately never got to pursue them n jst got…. sucked in by the money 

her mom n dad met in high school at a parents evening. alice was fourteen, toby was thirty-one. bridget’s mom alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not. toby was the father to a girl down the road who alice knew nothing of besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. alice was out of the house as soon as her parents knew a child was growing in her womb.

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things have a way of circling back to us --- that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, polka-dot nylon of a swimsuit pulled down to her ankles.

she grew up in a trailer park just outside of orlando resort, but she was raised in dressing rooms surrounded by sparkly costumes and nipple pasties and leotards and the like. as a kid she’d try to trot about in her moms heels n yearned for the day she’d be able to be on stage. 

if you’ve seen the florida project its a bit like tht.... just kids left to do their own shit.... mother’s a bit all over the place... made money by stealing wristbands off orlando theme park visitors, and bridget was p much raised by the community, to be honest. most of her youth was spent scurrying about half naked in cowboy boots and glasses too big for her face. a smol feral child

gilly (referred to as junior) was born four years after bridget, the son of a carpenter and sculpture artist named gilbert “gilly” senior, her moms latest squeeze. whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of furniture or hanging out with the kids who were visiting disneyland but couldn’t afford the hotels on the resort

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was eleven. they were in the system for a while, before gilly was finally granted custody as legal guardian. the three of them moved to marfa, texas so that gilly could run classes in sculpture and woodworking at the art institute. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors. bridget likes to believe that she’s an actress, her name in newspapers and her face in a star-spangled dressing mirror.

bridget used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in developing countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so…. and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone. will most definitely have quizzed your character on institutionalised racism whilst inhaling nos at a party and snacking on a big bowl of cheesy wotsits

aesthetic: big military or leather jackets over tiny little sundresses. always in docs or creepers and a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides style or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

struggles with self-image and the need to be Loved By All a lot. uses sex as an affirmation of her worth and also kinda manic-depressive (though not officially diagnosed) bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist and hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at rallies. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

back at lockwood she was working two jobs to pay for uni !! at the bowling alley polishing the shoes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also as a burger flipper at mcdonalds. in amsterdam she’s managed to secure a part-time bar job at one of the hendrix university bars

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who’re like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than flipping burgers — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, gregarious, easily bored, childish.

SOME ?MILDLY AMUSING? FACTS

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties like that isn’t shit for the environment ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

favourite drink is cherry coke

a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

sells nudes on twitter. whenever she gets low on cash she contacts one of the seedy old men who used to visit her mom’s club to venmo her $500 in return for pictures

that girl who’s always harping on about body positivity on instagram while wearing cute underwear and looking absolutely bomb

really good at rodeo bull riding. the club in marfa had one so as a youth she got really good at it bcos she was constantly tryin to outdo her friends on who could stay on for the longest. a video of her staying on one for like 4 minutes after downing several jager bombs went viral once.

micro-doses acid for mild depression bcos she didn’t believe in “that CBT bullshit”, thought that therapists, like her, were jst con artists so always a bit spaced out

volunteers at one of the local galleries but mostly just rants to old white dutch men about how cis white men have dominated art for years :/ is one of those SJW-types , like.... have a day off, jameela jamil......

has a pet rat called popeye

takes photographs of dead animals to use in her art and often posts them side-by-side with stills of women in porn to show the shelf-life of female sex workers in a patriarchal-dominated industry or some bullshit idk

big into spoken word poetry, even if its shit. likes savage depictions of femininity

wrote a thesis on art as an act of masturbation that got published

this bitch HATES capitalism and LOVES karl marx

time isn’t real. nothing exists. the self is a social construct. finger guns.

an awful person, really

plots i want that i mostly stole from the tags

muse a tries to stand up for muse b in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit.

muse a (prob bridget cos works in a bar) works somewhere that’s open late and muse b comes in to take shelter from the storm.

‘I got in my car and you were sleeping in the backseat who the hell are you and how did you get into my car’ 

 umm a wlw plot isnpired by san junipero ! esp this post. could have been a former fling that ended sourly !! cos i dont like ship forcing but still?? give me wlw stuff

 “i just decked you in the face because i’m drunk and you were pissing me off but ow my hand really fucking hurts i think i might have broke it and oh look your nose is bleeding and now we’re both sitting awkwardly in the hospital while i glare at you from across the room. but wait are you giving me sex eyes?? stop that i’m supposed to mad at you??”

“platonically sharing a bed until i wake up and you’re curled round me and my nose is buried in your hair so i’ll pretend to stay asleep to keep this for a little while longer” plots

 “highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot”

 goddamn its another shippy wlw plot apparently that’s all my tag is but this post

“known for being rebels without cause, MUSE A and MUSE B are synonymous to their fast cars, nights out beneath the stars, empty bottles of alcohol, and loud music. they meet by chance one night and immediately click, and embark on a careless adventure after it despite not knowing each other. it’s them against the world: after all, what could go wrong ?”

any of these sad sour unrequited love plots

‘we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn’t speak english and I’ve been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the fuck’ au

‘I accidentally dropped you while you were crowd surfing and you broke your ankle and now I feel responsible so I’m carrying you out of the moshpit’ au

walked in on my roommate and you screwing except i know you from class and i freaked out a little

i was hustling you in pool for money but you were hustling me for free drinks so who’s the real winner here?

bridgot goes to strip clubs n peep shows like every day, cos she’s writing about the history of pornographic film n its basically research for her, so if ur characters would be into strip clubs they might see her there

i feel like she’d be on student council if they had one of those. shes that kind of bitch, turning up like elle woods with a big feather pen or a light-up heart marker, slamming down some truths before upping and leaving to go for her 11am chai latte break

som1 who attended the art institute in marfa for a summer n maybe knew her when she was a bit younger ??? idk

drama. angst. horror. also nice bike rides in amsterdam please

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!

[distress]

just wrote a huge big post about everything i accomplished today and then tumblr crashed on my phone so here’s a quicker mental health update. imagine more exclamation points tho.  my one key is broken 

- stayed in bed for a little bit after waking up but not too long.

- called wells fargo to sort out my last paycheck which, for the last three checks, they have put some sort of loss prevention hold on the account. it seems like it could actually be the fault of my employer and their status with wells fargo. my workplace wasnt a bad company but we receive a billion wire transfers and send many etc etc. just lots of buying/selling so i can see i guess the trouble maybe. either way i’ll probably switch banks soon cuz fuck wells fargo. anyway

- drove 20 mins to go to bed bath and beyond which is good oh fuck my tilde key is broken too how am i supposed to express satisfaction???????????????????? anyway i got new bath mats (which i didnt really need but they were on sale and DEFINITELY make my bathroom feel way less grody) and a vacuum cleaner, a super cheap one, but better than not having one at all.

- cleaned up my cat’s litter box closet :** i got a huge kitty litter mat too and set it up properly, vacuumed everything, and hopefully my place will feel generally cleaner now that nasty isnt tracking litter everywhere. and if he does i can vacuum it up

- “beat” witcher 3, as in i’ve finished the main story and almost all the main game’s side quests etc. this has taken me two years but witcher 3 has been the only game i’ve truly enjoyed playing recently. i’m really happy to have gotten back into it, and i bought the dlc. expensive but a good investment to keep me playing something i really like

- on that note i’ve stopped feeling the need to play overwatch. i love overwatch but i did feel like it’s been draining on me and my enjoyment of other games. since i bought it a bit over a year ago i’ve felt like playing it pretty much every day, with maybe a week’s break at most. i’ve played maybe 2-3 times in the past two weeks and it’s hella nice to have a big break. :,) i know i’ll get back into it but i’m happy to leave it for now.

- worked on my embroidery :* it’s looking p nice considering i have almost no embroidery experience. i would love to become skilled at it and sell my work/do custom work. 

- i started cleaning my bathroom -- i was kind of inspired by @unfuckyourhabitat ... it seems so obvious but the before/after pictures there helped me feel encouraged. i get overwhelmed trying to do everything, like trying to clean my ENTIRE apartment in one day, so overwhelmed that i often end up doing nothing instead. and although my bathroom isn’t entirely clean yet, it looks SO much better than before. the counter is all clean, and it feels good. and i feel good about stopping even though my whole bathroom isn’t clean, because i still did a lot of work on it

- i showered and exfoliated, and stayed in the shower long enough to really treat my hair w/ my shampoo and stuff. my scalps been fucked from dying my hair, and while i loved having colorful hair i definitely got sick of it and am very happy to be back to black. even now tho my hair is more purpley blue than black. my next dye it’ll probably look a bit more normal-- and i won’t have to bleach anymore.

- i’ve done well isolating myself from the two people i know here well, the two people i talk to here. while i know one is just inherently shitty for me, the other friend i have a hard time accepting that it’s an unhealthy and unstable friendship. but my therapist thinks it is, and i can definitely see why. i think because of my previous emotional abuse, i have a hard time accepting that someone who does treat me very very well can still have flaws and hurt me in ways i shouldn’t let happen, even if it’s far from abuse. i’m also going to start going to therapy weekly for awhile, even if it’s hard and weird for me to find things to talk about. 

- and here i am :D despite tumblr mobile deleting this whole post i had already written, i’m also proud of myself for getting on my laptop and rewriting it rather than getting upset it was gone. and i’m proud of myself for feeling proud of the little things today.

[greysficsngifsnstuff]

Chapter 3

Author’s note: hello! Here’s chapter three :) this is more centered around the Grey’s Anatomy friendships rather than actually Japril. I just wanted to explore some great duos which we haven’t seen in a while. I promise the next chapter will be a Japril one! Hope you like it :)

PS. I would love feedback on this because I wasn’t very sure about the way I was writing one of the characters. I’m not gonna say who it is to see if you guys pick up on it. Some dialogue may sound a little out of character for them, so please let me know what you think!

But they didn’t get a minute that day at the hospital.

When April arrived that morning, a fourth year trauma resident briefed her about the situation while she pulled on a trauma gown and gloves. A 13-year-old girl had fallen off her horse and was in critical condition. Peds and cardio had already been paged.

‘Why cardio?’ April asked the resident.

‘Her family told the paramedics she was born with a deformed heart and had a transplant when she was five months old. The accident happened because she apparently passed out and fell backwards on the horse’s rump. It spooked and started running, but one of the girl’s feet was caught in the stirrups so instead of falling off, she slid to the ground and the horse dragged her several meters before someone caught it. They think she passed out because her heart failed,’ said the resident.

‘And she’s still alive?’ said April before running towards the ambulance which was pulling up.

April ordered nurses and paramedics into trauma room one and a few minutes later Robbins and Pierce burst through the door.

‘What do we got?’ called Robbins over the noise of the room, pulling on a glove.

April was about to being breaking down the case for them when she saw Maggie.

‘Uh… is Riggs here?’ asked April. She almost hated herself for even asking, but the words came out of her mouth before she could think twice.

Maggie shot her a look of confusion. ‘Riggs got back last night from Maryland Shock Trauma.’

Oh, that’s right, April thought. Megan. She’d completely forgotten.

Counting under her breath to five, April collected herself and explained the case to Robbins and Pierce.

Once they were in the OR and the patient was open on the table, April saw that there were many more internal injuries than she had anticipated. The girl was too unstable to take the time to get a CT, so she was rushed straight to surgery, Pierce and Robbins pushing the gurney on the other side of her.

‘I need to get control of this bleeding. Pierce, how is that heart coming along?’ asked April, clamping down one of the bleeders.

‘I’m not sure,’ she said, feeling her way around without really looking.

‘You’re not sure?’ April shot back.

‘I can’t see properly,’ replied Maggie. ‘There’s a lot of bleeding here, too.’

‘You’re not sure?’ April repeated, raising her voice.

‘April,’ said Arizona, surprised at her sudden outburst. April was always very level headed in surgery.

‘She’s saying she’s not sure, Dr Robbins. We have a child open on a table who is about to die if we don’t fix her, but Dr Pierce isn’t sure,’ April’s tone was ice cold, but she was trying to speak as calmly as possible. ‘Dr Pierce, I need to repair this liver at the same time as you are repairing that heart. If you’re not capable of doing that, please leave the OR.’

‘You can’t do that,’ Maggie said in disbelief. ‘She can’t do that,’ she repeated, addressing Robbins this time.

Arizona stared at April. ‘April, we need a cardio surgeon.’

April had no idea how to reply to that. Of course she knew they needed one. In the moments that they had stood there arguing, the patient’s BP started rising, indicated by the beeping on the machines. At its sound, April’s own heart rate quickened.

‘I’m here, where do you want me?’ a robotic voice echoed in the OR. April looked towards the gallery to find Riggs standing there, speaking through the intercom.

Once he had scrubbed in, Maggie ripped off her gloves and left the room, glaring at April all the while.

From the minute he entered to the moment they exited the OR after the surgery, Arizona couldn’t stop marvelling at the way April and Nathan communicated with each other. They seemed to be able to read each other’s minds with a single look, wordlessly flying through manoeuvres which only they knew how to do thanks to what the army had taught them. At one point they even asked Arizona to step back so that they could work faster, if that seemed possible.

‘Nice work, Keps,’ said Nathan as the three of them were scrubbing out. The surgery had been a success. The girl wasn’t even going to be put on the transplant list for a new heart.

‘Isn’t my friend just amazing?’ Arizona beamed at her.

‘That’s why we call her The Machine,’ said Nathan, turning off his tap. April grinned bashfully.

‘You both coming to talk to the family?’ he asked, towelling his hands dry.

April nodded, and Arizona was about to agree when her pager went off.

‘Ugh, consult,’ she said, checking it. ‘Sorry guys.’

The other two shrugged simultaneously as if to say, it’s okay.

‘Jeez,’ said Arizona. ‘Are you guys wired to the same remote control?’

She exited the scrub room, leaving Nathan and April chuckling away.

***

After she had spoken to the family, April told Riggs she would see him later and casually checked the OR board to see what was going on. Jackson was right in the middle of a double mastectomy, removing a tumour alongside Dr Webber and a second year resident.

She went down to the day care to see Harriet and breastfed her, then busied herself in the ER for a while, rearranging charts and stitching up a 9-year-old boy’s leg after he fell off his bike. She hadn’t even realised she hadn’t eaten all day until her stomach started grumbling as she was putting away the suture kit. She made her way to the attending’s lounge to try and find something to snack on. As soon as she entered, she saw Arizona with her back turned away from her, making coffee. Arizona glanced quickly behind her to check who had come in.

‘Hey, April,’ she greeted her, pouring the coffee into a cup. ‘Would you like one?’

‘Hey,’ she replied the cheeriest way imaginable. ‘No, I’m okay, thanks.’

After several years of a friendship like theirs, Arizona picked up on April’s restlessness almost immediately.

‘What’s up?’ she said, giving her a knowing look. Her eyes followed April as she pulled a cereal bar out of a cupboard and slumped down on a chair at the table.

‘Nothing, nothing’s up. Why would something be up?’ April said hurriedly, unwrapping her cereal bar and taking a bite.

Arizona shot her a look. ‘April, what was that today, with Pierce?’

‘That girl was dying,’ April gestured outward with one hand, shoving all her bite to one side of her mouth so she could talk. ‘I was just putting my patient’s interests first. Riggs and I were the only ones that knew how to do that procedure, and I needed him there. That’s all.’

‘You couldn’t have known what you needed to do down in the trauma room, yet you still asked for him. What’s really going on?’

‘The lady at the day care told me Jackson still hasn’t been down to see Harriet today. Is that weird? It’s kinda late in the day,’ said April pointlessly, avoiding the question.

Arizona kept her head still but swivelled her eyes to one side before looking back at April.

April shut her eyes, still chewing. She couldn’t tell whether it was because Arizona had brought up a sensitive subject or whether because that cereal bar tasted so goddamn good after eating nothing all day.

Arizona gasped.

‘Did you sleep with him?’

April opened a single eye, scrunching the other one down.

‘I know it was probably a bad idea, but it felt so right, and after all that’s happened…’ April trailed off, her mouth still half full.

‘April! It’s bad enough he’s got Grey dragged in the middle of his broken heart after Megan, who apparently is back, but now you, too?’

April almost choked on her cereal bar.

‘What?’ she exclaimed, forcing herself to swallow before continuing to speak. ‘Who are you talking about?’

Arizona made a puzzled face for a moment. ‘You didn’t sleep with Riggs?’ she asked.

‘No, of course not!’ replied April.

Arizona’s face fell. ‘Oh,’ she said, almost disappointed. ‘You guys seemed so in sync in that OR, and the ‘given everything that’s happened’ bit, I just figured that meant Megan and Grey, and—’

‘We worked together! In a war, in the desert; we might get each other a little better that everyone else around here,’ said April.

Arizona made a face to say, yeah, that makes sense. ‘Wait, so who are you talking about?’ she lowered her voice even though the door was closed.

‘Jackson,’ April said quietly back. His name tasted really nice.

Arizona paused. ‘Ohhhh,’ she said, raising her eyebrows. She pushed herself off the counter and went to sit by April at the table.

‘Wait, but what does Maggie have to do with Jackson?’

‘I think there’s something going on between them,’ replied April. Remembering the way she had treated Maggie in the OR made her feel two inches tall.

‘Jackson and Maggie? No way,’ said Arizona definitively, shaking her head.

‘You didn’t see the way they looked at each other the night of the fire. I’ve seen that look on him before,’ said April. On me, she was about to add, but saying it aloud would have made it all too real.

‘April, you’re probably overanalysing it. He was her mother’s surgeon and then she died. His mom is married to her biological dad. Of course there’s gonna be baggage there, but that has nothing to do with the two of them being together. Anyways, didn’t you just say you slept with him?’

‘Yeah, but…’ April didn’t even look at Arizona the whole time she spoke, staring at her half eaten cereal bar which now didn’t look so inviting anymore. She trailed off because she didn’t know what else to say. Had last night meant as much as April thought it had, or was it just another case of emergency sex? In the moment it definitely didn’t feel that way, and the way they had behaved with Harriet this morning didn’t make it seem that way, and yet still…

‘But nothing,’ said Arizona.

Finally April looked up at her, and could see the sympathy in her friend’s blue eyes.

‘Was it good?’ asked Arizona, speaking quietly once again.

April’s eyes rolled to the back of her head before she shut them momentarily. ‘It was so much more than good. It was… perfect.’

They smiled at each other, a smile filled with compassion and kindness.

‘It felt like so much more than just sex. It felt like us. He touched me in a way he hadn’t done since before Samuel, I don’t think. And then this morning, when I was dressing Harriet he stood behind me, just watching us. We felt like a family. I hadn’t realised how much I miss him, how much I still love him…’ April had to stop herself or the tears that were welling up in her eyes would have escaped onto her cheeks.

Arizona placed a hand over April’s. ‘I know,’ she said, remembering the way it had felt to be with Dr Boswell the night of the storm; she had only known her after her leg, and they still had sex in a way that she had done with Callie only before the plane crash.

Right at that moment Dr Grey entered the attending’s lounge.

‘Hey, is everything okay?’ she asked when she saw April all teary eyed, making her way to fetch a glass of water and fill it up from the tap.

‘Yeah, we’re great,’ said April, forcing a smile.

‘Nah, you’re upset,’ said Meredith. She set her glass of water down on the table. ‘I don’t really care about other people’s problems, because often I can’t solve them, but I almost always know how to fix them. You know what you need to do?’ she said, pulling out her phone from her lab coat pocket.

April and Arizona exchanged a puzzled look. Meredith had never taken a particular liking to Arizona or April, especially after she was suspended and April took her place.

‘Dance it out,’ she said, pressing play on her phone. ‘Come on, get up,’ she said over the music, and began dancing. April and Arizona only laughed at each other a little before getting up alongside Meredith.

Half a song later, Chief Bailey walked in. At the sight of their happy faces, her own face lit up, but she immediately pretended to be disappointed in them in a very chiefly manner.

‘Now just what do y’all think you’re doing? Don’t you have patients to get to, or would you rather they died and filed a lawsuit against this hospital, which I will then have to deal with?’

Giggling like schoolgirls, April and Arizona grabbed their lab coats, ready to leave the room right as Maggie walked in.

‘Ah, Chief Bailey!’ said Maggie, a haughtiness to her tone. ‘How lovely to see you here. And what a coincidence that Dr Kepner is here with us. I wanted to speak with you both about something. Dr Robbins, Dr Grey, would you mind?’ she said, nodding towards the door.

Meredith and Arizona only raised their eyebrows before scurrying out of the room.

‘What, Pierce?’ asked Dr Bailey, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. She raised her eyebrows, too, in a very Miranda Bailey-like fashion, as if she were expecting you to tell her something of such importance that it couldn’t wait until you could meet her in her office.

‘Dr Kepner kicked me out of the OR today,’ said Dr Pierce, folding her arms across her chest.

‘You did what?’ asked Bailey, turning towards April.

April took a moment to collect herself.

‘Yes, Chief, I did ask Dr Pierce to leave the OR. The patient’s BP was rising, there were bleeders all over the field, and Dr Pierce didn’t seem to have the patient’s heart under control.’

Chief Bailey glared at Maggie.

‘I—‘ Maggie interrupted, but April continued, ‘The heart, which by the way, had been transplanted into the patient at five months of age, needed to be repaired simultaneously with the liver, and I remembered a procedure I had been taught in the army. Dr Riggs was the only other person in this hospital who knew how to perform it.’

‘Yes, but—‘ Maggie tried again.

‘Is the patient alive and stable?’ cut off Dr Bailey.

‘She’s doing great,’ said April before Maggie could say anything else.

‘Then go argue in front of someone who cares.’ With that, Chief Bailey left the attending’s lounge.

April bit her lip to stop herself from smiling smugly right in front of Maggie.

‘Look, I don’t know what your problem with me is,’ said Maggie, glaring at April, ‘and I don’t care. But let it start interfering with my career, and I will have you fired.’

Before April could get a word in edgeways, they heard a voice from the threshold of the door.

‘What’s going on here?’

It was Jackson.

[tori10rambles]

Jumin’s route is done! That was a freaking roller coaster. aka the route in which i probably broke my own heart a little before I even finished Day 4, and it only got worse from there. And DAY 10 DESTROYED ME.

Being the rabid Seven fangirl I am, getting this route was hard. The only thing that kind of soothes my heart is that I didn't get any heart breaks from Seven. (You know, besides his actual heart by Day 10. That kind of negated... almost all my good feelings).

i just want to help like, every single one of these losers with their problems jfc.

Also, per usual, these comments were written as the game was being played, and so are probably kind of incoherent, and switch from first and 3rd person POV sometimes in the middle of the same point. All of that is under the cut.

Also, for some reason, the After end CG didn’t save to my album. Hm....

  Jumin

So much of his personality is explained by his dad honestly. Also, I have a very bad feeling about his dad and the Choi lady.

When you grow up in the public eye, it seems like the choices are to either try to become as bland/invisble as possible to avoid having the paparazzi on your ass (as seen with Jumin), or you do a Tony Stark and make a party/attention whore mask and basically try to own it.

Considering how Jumin describes his dad (skirt chaser? easily seduced by a pretty face?), I'm not completely surprised that he doesn't like women.

Also, should I be concerned that I find his utter failure at photography kind of adorable and odd, considering his best friend is a professional photographer?

...What the fuck did your dad do? A fiancee, seriously? The creepiest part is that apparently she's related/connected to his new skirt?

"I won't sell out my father over my cat." Does that mean your dad's actually tried that/is trying that? jfc

it's kind of cute watching him be concerned over MC, because you can kind of tell that he's warming up to her/starting to like her, but doesn't really get (want to acknowledge?) why.

Your dad is an asshole for using you as a bargaining chip. Also, please note that Jumin apparently cares about the company and how his father's personal life affects it more than his father does. And that Jumin is still more considerate of people's feelings, despite being a "robot."

...Considering the women from your dream sound like gold diggers and possibly at least one cougar/pedophile, I cannot blame you for disliking women.

Also, his dad is really bad at getting him. I feel bad because this seems like the first time this happened? Someone save Jumin from his well meaning, but obviously ignorant-about-his-son's-personality father.

Putting your cat in a cage because you think it’s the safest option does not include the emotional problems of being stuck in a cage

You’re projecting, Jumin... Rika onto Elizabeth? Wtf? I gotta say you apparently dodged a bullet considering what she did to V’s eyes

Jumin talking about controlling his cat is .... really creepy. because he talks about Elizabeth 3rd like she's a person/personified to him, so what would he do with an actual person he cares for?

he thinks intimacy is a luxury. jfc

So I'm at your place, but I'd really like an explanation for the cage.

y'all know things are bad when Jaehee knows he's unstable. ...why am i at his place at night again?

So while I'm enjoying you riling up Zen, some of your comments creep me out ("I don't want anyone else to look at her"). That's creepy (and also not a response I would choose), even if it is kind of cute.

are you offering to cook, or are you offering your chefs? Because strawberry pancakes sound delicious.

...wtf, put me to bed? I am not a child or a pet. 

Yoyoyo, does this imply you had feelings for Rika? omf not another person who wants me to be her replacement jfc yoosung was bad enough

Who is surprised that Elizabeth 3rd ran away? Not me.

i cannot believe you went and used lines from a soap opera to play Sarah. ...And that it worked

...Is this REALLY the time to be kissing me!? And what is it with these men and kissing me when I'm not ready for it!? Seriously, these guys have some awful timing.

Um... no. You are not giving Elizabeth 3rd back to V. You obivously love her, and you need more than just MC to care about, Jumin.

...I cannot believe you just said "the use is fairly similar" when I asked if I was a replacement for your pet. If I could, I'd run. I'd run SO FAR.

I'm pretty sure Elizabeth ran away because you legit went and caged her for hours when she's used to roaming around your penthouse freely.

...forever? HELL NO. I am my own person and deserve to be treated as such.

this complete 180 in personality is disturbing as hell.

Possessive Jumin scares me. A lot. At least he knows a relationship needs time.

...Half the shit coming out of your mouth sounds so creepy.

Trapping me somewhere and telling me it's for my own good is not protecting me... it's making me desperate to leave.

omfg, the Jumin phone call with the hilarious response!

Jumin's building is like a gilded cage. it terrifies me on a level i can't comprehend. like, I may be a bit of a shut in, but even I leave the goddamn building when I feel like it. It's the fact that I have the choice to leave, i think.

He feels... surprisingly less menacing/creepy on Day 9. Thank god.

Oh thank god they found Elly. hopefully this means Jumin will CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

I'm with Jumin on this one, his dad is really blinded if he thinks hiding your credit report from a businessman you're trying to marry is a good idea. That just screams goldigger

The fact that Jumin actually expressed his emotions and concerns to his dad, jfc that's progress. Also, he's managed to find a middle ground, SCORE!

...dude, how often do you say thank you and that you appreciate Jaehee;s work if she's that shocked?

that phone call immediately after the meeting with father is actually pretty sweet? omg. but the one where I call him after that VN was kind of... eh. not as nice

...When was the last time jaehee got a holiday? When was th elast time you LET her!?

...Okay, the VN after the 21:46 chat on Day 10 wasn't bad until the very end. Then it got weird. I am NOT a thing to be devoured jfc.

THANK YOU for seeing what's wrong with Rika's vision of a perfect world.

"We like each other. How can we be dangerous to each other." - THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO RESPOND TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO START.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN A GODDAMNED CAGE. I AM NOT A PET OR AN ANIMAL JFC THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.

I feel like you're planning some sick burns, and it involves public humiliation. I'm so down for this.

At least you're letting me out of the penthouse?

Your idea of marriage is weird, but understandable. Also, I hope to HELL that wasn't a proposal after you only met me 10 Days ago, and LOCKED ME IN YOUR APARTMENT FOR MOST OF THOSE DAYS.

...what's with the rings on you status icon?

YES YOU'RE BEING TOO POSSESSIVE.

You sound kind of adorable as a kid.

Now that he's let me go home, he's actually kind of cute? I liked his Christmas DLC ending better tho.

Oh my god, that's savage.Public humiliation ftw.

YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSED. WTF. the dress is awesome though. i'd wear that but with less boob window

Seven

I'm so sorry. T_T I'm leaving your route for last, which means I need to be mean/indifferent to you and this sucks like hell. Especially since I get to talk to you more than once in a while. Almost none of the responses I want to make in Days 1-4 are the ones I chose to get this route. this is pain. none of this is okay. i am not okay. i will probably not be okay whenever i think about seven during Jumin's route.

The space station phone call makes me want to cry, because shit, he obviously is crushing at this point? And I'm going to end up crushing his heart into itty bitty pieces and I can't stand it. It's like... like waiting for the inevitable, and the suspense only builds because you know it's gonna happen, but you don't know how bad the resulting reaction will be.

The cat dream phone call makes me really fucking sad. because taken into consideration with the conversation Unknown and Seven had in Yoosung's route, and Unknown's rant in Yoosung's Bad End 3, I'm getting very concerned about Seven's childhood.

Everytime you break the fourth wall, I squee. And goddamn, you're right about games and Yoosung.

Zen and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf. but seriously this is the kind of drag I'd do to my friends, so long as they knew I was open for retaliation and didn't mean half of it

Your love for your cars is kind of adorable.

Seven’s friendships w yoosung and zen are hilarious and adorable. Like, give me more of it.

Why do i think that half the things you claim come from a book you read are actually things you think up yourself?

Every time you meet Unknown, my feels hurt. And I really, really want that explanation for who he is.  I mean, I read spoilers obviously, if you've seen my tags, but I wanna see how the game reveals it.

This man, seeing him sound so broken after his encounter with Unknown continues to upset me. That phone call about relationships hurts to, because there is CLEARLY some projecting going on there.

THIS FUCKING PHONE CALL.

Jfc, Seven is not okay. I'm so glad i can ask if he is or not and not end up on a bad end. But damn is it not fun to see him break. And the aftermath.

You're not okay (the 15:29 chatroom sounds like you're talking about Unknown btw, which I mean, MC doesn't know, but is obvious to anyone who is watching you), but I hope you can be okay soon.

Also, this just makes things even worse to me? Because not only has the person he cared about NOT chosen him, but the person from his past who was supposed to be safe and happy apparently hates him. And he's not getting any answers. Like, this just might the worst route for Seven?

Wait, what did V promise you? What does it have to do with unknown? Good lord, I want answers. Mostly so you finally have them.

Zen

Stop flirting with everything in a skirt that breathes. Especially me. That can only end badly.

Also, please know I agree with you SO HARD about Jumin's treatment of his workers, but again, I'm going for Jumin's route this time, which means agreeing with him.

But please, quit picking on jumin about being an "ice king" or "robot," because he literally does not know how to express emotions.

You and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf.

Zen’s dream is creepy. Adding meowing to the creepy music box music is not cool

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning

lololol Big Brother Zen does not like MC being alone with Jumin.

Thank you Zen, for saying everything I've been saying about this situation.

religious nuts? Zen!? What if that's Mint Eye

Zen continues to be the best dude for coming to MC's defense.

Yoosung

I'm so afraid for this boy because he's so gullible. You'd think he'd know by now that Seven likes to troll people. No, I'm not counting the resets in that statement. Seven made it clear basically in the first couple of chats/calls/texts he participated in that he's a humongous troll when it suits him.

OMFG the infamous M call. I was not prepared for that holy shit.

omf Yoosung. STUDY. PLEASE. ...And now you have summer classes.

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning (the bodyguard thing at least)

your insight into Jumin and his view of relationships is... really close to what i thought. good job yoosung!

I pity Yoosung for taking care of Elizabeth.

Jaehee

I'm so sorry I have to condone Jumin's work practices for a good end. And that I just gave Jumin a new cat project. You don't deserve this bullshit. No one deserves this bullshit.

Are you playing wingwoman? because it might actually be working.

I don't blame you for this really creepy situation.

you're so kind of try and assuage Zen's worries.

I understand your frustration with Jumin and wholeheartedly support it

I'm so glad you get a holiday omfg. Also, it’s hella cute and kinda depressing that you’re so happy about getting the vacation.

V

Your friendship with Jumin is so cute wtf.

is it your guilt complex and your need to keep the memebrs "safe" that would make you upset that Yoosung is going along with Seven? Because if so, that's kind of hypocritical considering Seven's a member, and you wanted him to go alone.

Goddamn it V. Thanks to your secrecy, I can't go back to the apartment.

ANSWER SEVEN. PLEASE. SEEING HIM SO DOWN IS NOT FUN.

Oh my god you're sassy. I wasn't expecting that. It's awesome though. Legit, half the fandom seems to forget that V is a sassy mofo. We need more of it.

Rika

...Wow, you are crazy. "A device that can take everything, that can delete everything"... What the hell kind of shit is in that apartment, Rika? Because there is no way there's only information about your party guests... Or is that the entire point? Is there blackmail there?

...You just sounded so nice there, talking to Jumin. Wtf happened to you?

A world without pain or mistakes... that's so idealistic... and impossible. Progress is important! We'll stagnate otherwise, and while being comfortable is important, so is making progress so that EVRYONE is happy. You can't tell me that those who are poor and starving and sick are happy where they are. Feeling sad is HEALTHY, especially after making a mistake or being affected by one. It's what keeps us empathetic and compassionate towards others!

...Are you REALLY asking your BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND if he'd date you? REALLY!? I CANNOT BELIEVE... That's so cruel to V! Even if it WAS a joke!

And honestly, that last statement sounds like you want everyone to like... commit assisted group suicide or something.

Unknown & Mint Eye

Why does it seems like Unknown is talking to you in the VN from Day 2? It's so creepy, especially when you're reading that chat in the dark, after having woken up in the middle of the night for the game.

Goddamn it you gave me a heart attack. I can't tell if it's the music that scared me more or the messages.

...How have I gone three routes and not realized your HQ is a fucking castle?

Sarah & Glam Choi

Fucking gold diggers and attention whores, man. I cannot believe y'all are trying to use Jumin and his dad for money. Like, wtf?

Also, what the hell gave you the idea that Jumin is the type to mix work and pleasure? Also, Jaehee could totally do better than Jumin.

You are never getting rid of Elizabeth 3rd. It's stupid to think you can try, let alone succeed.

Goddamn it, using the paparazzi to your advantage is a dick move.

Knew you were after their money. You company is weak af Sarah, and apparently you have no idea how to make money.

...how stupid are you to think that Jumin couldn't recognize his own goddamn cat.

...Y'all just got PLAYED by the Ice King.

Public humiliation ftw! now leave and don't come back.

Uh... I couldn’t really enjoy this route very much because of the very possessive and creepy undertones halfway through the 11 days. I mean, I know he gets better, but honestly, that shouldn’t be behavior an s/o should have to stick around and try to “fix.” It also sounds a lot like coercive behavior abusers would use? Basically, I think Jumin needs a therapist who will probably need their own therapist instead of a girlfriend, because that kind of emotional burden is heavy and not something I think I personally could handle.

I was talking to someone else about this route, and we agreed that his route really isn’t good for anyone who isn’t personally emotionally or mentally healthy/alright.

[ihavesomethngtosay]

#1

Why did I decide on writing about my day? Hmmmm let’s see… First, I had a nervous breakdown in front of my university counsellor when she told me that I wasn’t talking sensibly and cried for like seven hours (with breaks) hence I had my dreams crashed. Then I learnt that the atelier I go to, to for on my art, and which is like my safe place, will now have the person who I feel extremely nervous and uncomfortable around (and not like a crush, more like we were close friends and she was closer friends with the person who I was closer friends with and I was constantly jealous of her and I guess you could say I was low-key obsessed and had a weird crush on the third person I am talking about and I was convinced that she had a crush on me or something like that at least too because we were extremely weird ways of showing our friendship: it all started when she came over and it was like a sleepover and we closed the lights then talked for like seven hours, until the morning and at one point she cam onto my bed and we were touching each others heads and hair and she put her finger into my mind and we sometimes talked about how we loved each other and we were each others soulmates but times changed and we changed and she changed but I never could let go of it. although we out the connection at one point (i guess one year ago) i persisted on it and that it was there. i still do love her but ı’m kind of angry that she changed and ı changed and my dreams of growing old together won’t ever be real because now the only reason she calls e is to ask for homework and kind of use me when there is no-one better like she sits next to me in my turkish classes but even though we go to chemistry together she sits next to this other person.I am naive to help her anytime she needs it and to the smallest detail. she doesn’t even respond properly to my texts. my moms thinks its because she is using me but still i think she is battling with a lot of things herself and a kinda sad and boring person like me who ind of used to need her might not be the best for her. by the way I’m not gay or bi (well I don’t really know) but according to my research you can have these kinds of crushes when you are growing up and the reason i’mm calling them crushes is because I asked other friends if it was normal to think it would be fun to go to skinny dipping or kiss or cuddle with your best friend and they were like ew no! plus to dream of them every night but not sexually (thinking about it I never did have a sexual dream anyway) but it might not be a crush so I thought telling this other person this and that I was half faking that I liked her (i never really did but there was times that I enjoyed her company but it was equivalent to like a classmates company but as I became very comfortable with my best friend (at the time) and since she never left her side, I acted quite comfortably around her too) and it didn’t go well because she’s been avoiding me and me her, and she is by nature a very reserved person and I feel disgusted next to her. I know what I feel is really bad but I feel it. I’m disgusted by the way she looks, her acne, her clothes, her fat, her voice, her attitude, her slouch, her shoes, her laugh, her braces, her art… and the worse thing is that i’ve been feeling like this almost from the start. I never felt like this to anyone else. I had objectively ugly friends which I thought to of as beautiful, or really objectively attractive friends which I thought of as beautiful. Honestly I cannot remember one other person that disgusts me so much, not even people I hate. THEN with all this emotional stuff and me talking to my dad about life for 5 hours (i do love my dad, he is a very antisocial person which makes it weird when I see how well he can communicate and socialise with me. he says it’s because he never thought people to be valuable until he was 55 and had almost no friends but i do find him quite relatable, unlike how my mother finds it as a way to insult me in the sense how alike I am with my dad but in the end she IS married to him (which is also a mystery to me as I feel like it harms her a lot as my dad IS indeed a quite unstable person and makes her feel reallllly bad) and I really do prefer to be friendless to be a nervous seemingly unhappy person) I  couldn’t even start my Ib homework and if you know Ib it’s like AP but for six subjects and it’s really really demanding and I needed 7 or more hours realistically and I have 3 (if I’m lucky). So my day was awful.

On the other note, I have discovered the French New Wave cinema and I love it. I’ve watched Frances Ha (wait before saying something, i’ll explain the connection) and loved it. The story was quite relatable, the soundtrack was amazing, i’d be lying if I said I found it funny but that does’t make it a bad film, AND the visuals were absolutely amazing. (especially after the b&w film I watched and made me develop a negative prejudice against old movies) I read that it was inspired by French New Wave so I gave it a try. I watched Joules and Jim. The story made me ask so many questions, which is always a plus billion for me. Why did he not leave her, what was special about her, did he love her, is love real or a construct, why was he jealous and how does jealousy work and and and… The editing was really striking. I loved the way he made the camera stop on a certain scene for like a second. Now I just have to watch more in my negative free time.

The university stuff, let me explain. I want to go to Europe or Australia for college because the US is expensive. Still I might get financial aid so i’ll apply to US as well. The thing is I want to go to a liberal arts and sciences college in europe and there are only two. AND they are very very very selective. AND the reason I want this major because I want a bit of everything but the counsellor insists on I apply to engineering so it’ll be easier to downgrade (which I won’t have the courage to) or psychology which will be easier when applying. AND she doesn’t know anything abut AU so she doesn’t think of it as a valid option AND as I ama confused careless person I didn’t bring my research. But I don’t want to be a psychologist or a engineer… I might want to study physics or visual arts but those are wayyyyy apart.

I either want to work with the space above my head or the space on the paper –haha funny, right? right?…  D:  -

And now she is telling me to be an engineer…

I am hopeless and worthless, and I hate that people have faith that i’ll succeed. Just because I am intelligent and have a good education will not make anything of me.

I can’t socialise, I never had a relationship, i haven’t done anything daring or bad or risky ever, and am still saying that I might want to be an artist. They’d kill me in art school, that’s for sure. And if I studied physics, they’ all be better and more interested and able to understand relativity (I am very hurt by the fact that i can’t but honestly I should probably work harder)

SOOO these are my first world problems in my pink pink life.

I hate the fact that I struggle to use my privilege to do better, and help people and not to be a spoiled annoying person. I was just going to say that I can’t be happy 24-7 but I don’t deserve to be sad at all.

Here you go folks, a diary entry by me..

[inhale-in-hell-theres-heave-blog]

romanticisation and reality

i’ve always been one to hold onto the past. it’s a very unwelcome part of me which decides that i should definitely still be awake at 2am replaying moments from days or weeks or years ago in my head and wishing i could do them again differently instead of doing what anyone else would do by laughing about it and moving on 

like when i suddenly remember a much better meme i could have used to end a twitter argument which would have likely made me look a lot funnier and like i didn’t care and less like i was actually crying into some chicken selects because i had been simultaneously dumped and then humiliated lol xD 

or when i think about when i used to get a bit wild on yunghan420 (follow if u want to be pissed off by the shitposts about once a week) and post things i’d immediately regret and then i’d end up with about 7 less friends than before and a lot of lost respect from people WHICH IS FAIR ENOUGH bc tbf was such a cunt on there i shouldn’t even be allowed it 

or when i could have just handled things a lot better. i never know how i feel about astrology but i do basically fit the characteristics of ur classic aries, especially in doing things before thinking and putting emotions b4 rationality etc,. which is not really ideal ahahhahahahahahah it’s so bad i basically regret about 91% of social decisions and just torture myself w/ thinking about them over and over

but there’s another side to this. i realised that past memories go either way with me- either i’ll repress them and then use them as reasoning as to why i am not a functioning human & should probs be euthanised or i’ll overthink them to a point where the actual events become very overexaggerated caricatures of how they actually happened lol

e.g from september to christmas felt like a peak for me - i had a pretty stable friendship group, a boyfriend, i felt so confident etc etc

or did i???

have I just over thought it? was i really happy? am i just remembering the positives about that group and deliberately blocking out the parts where i felt left out in order to regret distancing myself (because i am alexander hamilton and i will never be satisfied clearly)?? am i overexaggerating how happy i was in that relationship and forgetting the distrust (amongst other things lmao)?? was i really happy then or am i just choosing to portray that part of my life as the happiest to make up for how i feel now? i dONT KNOW gosh darn it 

again with the last boy i was with. as soon as we met i felt a click immediately and i knew that i could spend months with him. i enjoyed spending time with him more than anything else in the world, hence why i am still very hung up on him and listen to jeff buckley about 3 times a day because it reminds me of him but i digress. did i really feel this or has this only come about since he ended it? i know i’ve romanticised it to some degree, partly because it was the relationship i’ve dreamed of for so long. he took me out at night and we sat in the car and listened to the sound of the smiths and watched louis theroux in his cute lil room which was so ideal and he was older and could drive and it gave me the approval i wanted from not only him but also everyone else. it was perfect until one day it changed and he ended up telling me very nicely and gently that he wasn’t really looking for a relationship which was obviously a fucking blow when you’ve invested so much of ur already fragile self in him :-) 

but what i’m trying to get at here is that i’m not sure what is really true and what i’ve romanticised. yes we had a wonderful time but it wasn’t all great. i knew he had to go to uni etc. we probably weren’t a perfect match at all. i think its just the fact it never really got started which left me able to speculate because it ended at a point where anything could have happened and gave me endless scope to romanticise what might have been if it hadn’t ended. (e.g easter ball. i had such high hopes for easter ball and when i got there all i could think about was that i could have gone with him ffs). through no real fault of his own, he left me with no choice but to picture everything that we could have been while he’s likely to have happily moved on and probably gives me very little thought or maybe thinks about me only when he sees me in school or sees my name in his contacts or scrolls past louis theroux on netflix because he’s moved on and probs sees me as a charming but unstable girl who he regrets introducing to his parents or some shit whereas i blatantly haven’t (and i probably should just face the fact i was more invested than him) AS U CAN SEE i’m just out here wondering what might have happened if we were still together

and i see myself doing this with so many things which tbf makes me worry i am basically jay gatsby who, although fictional lmao, i draw many similarities with. this sounds quite far fetched but roll w it i promise i am both revising eng lit here and also making conclusions about myself lmao. gatsby dates daisy for a month and ends up hung up on her for 5 years. he reinvents himself, changes his name, buys A MANSION TO LIVE OPPOSITE HER, THROWS HUGE FUCK OFF PARTIES IN THE HOPE SHE’D GO u get the picture. and when he eventually gets her back he’s still not satisfied. he wants more and more, for her to erase the last 5 years. DO U SEE WHAT I MEAN !! if i got him back, or my old friends back, i probably still wouldn’t be happy. i wouldn’t be able to compromise in a way that i wouldn’t regret at least one decision in that process. i would still want more SO I AM BASICALLY GATSBY AND WILL PROBS GET SHOT IN MY POOL (or hamilton bc am never satisfied so will probs get shot by my political rival or something)

so i think the real moral of this absolute shambles of self realisation is that i need to stop living in the past and focus on the future. yes i have been happy in the past but just bc these things have ended doesn’t mean i need to be unhappy. they aren’t defining factors of how i feel but merely just things to contend with which i am very sure i can do if i stop clinging onto things which once made me happy 

how to do that, you ask? well i am not entirely sure but it seems fairly logical that if most of the world’s population, excluding the $10 founding father and 1920s literary figure james gatz, are able to move on and function normally then i’m sure with a bit of work i can. by acknowledging the things that happen to me as happy memories which are in my life for a reason rather than mistakes which i constantly wish i could change, hopefully i can start to move on and focus on other things !! 

easier said than done haha cannot wait to slide back into sadness after writing this 

jks i am trying to be positive i promise

hope u enjoyed this self absorbed shitpost with almost no real meaning except for a weak literary comparison and how i should probs move on from him bc its been a solid 7 weeks hahahahHAHAHAH banter

peace x

[maggotmouth]

    hi i’m nora (23. gmt. she/her) and i’m going to play three (3) characters ! cos i hate myself. no 1 is bridget the angsty socialist leftie liberal who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about capitalism. very talkative. always in docs and a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. here’s a pinboard !! everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll (probably forget to) smash that im button for plots x

application template.

( cis-female ) haven’t seen BRIDGET MATUSIAK around in a while. the MARGARET QUALLEY lookalike has been known to be GARRULOUS & CANDID, but SHE can also be FICKLE & ERRATIC. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in FILM. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. 

aesthetics.

thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, roller blades, grazed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

knew each other from the cheer team in bridgets freshman year and tatiana’s sophomore year. had a competitive friendship to start with but then they got into a discussion about politics at a party one night, and maybe hooked up a few times after tatiana had jst broken up w someone. they were sort of seeing each other very casually for a bit, but…. they came from vastly different circles n it didn’t really work. they were in a bad partch at the time of the reaping so to speak, and bridget picked her name For A Giggle but now regrets it big time obviously

tw drugs, teen pregnancy, hypersexuality

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things had a way of circling back, that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, poka-dot nylon pulled down to her ankles.

her parents met in high school. her mother alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not.

i say they met in high school, bridget’s dad wasn’t actually in school, they met at the high school. he was the father to a girl down the road. alice knew nothing of the girl besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. soon the pitter patter of tiny feet sounded along the hall of the home for wayward women, alice’s parents having thrown her out as soon as they knew a child was growing in her womb.

gilly (referred to as junior) was born two years later, the son of a mechanic and handyman named gilbert “gilly” senior, who - while a slow-witted man – was likable enough. alice, gilly bridget & junior lived in a colorado trailer park and whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of exhausts.  was raised in a workshop basically.

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was twelve, leaving gil to adopt the two as legal guardian and raise them in the forge. she’s lived with gilly ever since. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors.

used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in third world countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so…. and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone.

aesthetic: cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. a long green trench coat with loads of badge pins for alt-rock bands and independent films. red denim jacket, also covered in badges n pins. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides styler or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

hypersexual and kinda manic-depressive (though not diagnosed) probs bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she started life in a house that was literally designed to rehabilitate “fallen women” and she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist ad hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at rallies. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

working two jobs to pay for uni currently !! works at the bowling alley polishing the shoes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also is a burger flipper at mcdonalds. a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who're like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than fixing bowling lanes — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties like that isn’t shit for the environment ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, melancholic.

this bitch HATES capitalism and LOVES karl marx

time isn’t real. nothing exists. the self is a social construct. finger guns.

an awful person, really

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, here are some plot ideas i stole, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!