#i think this ep quite literally has the best narrative and shots so far

[ezralva]

Since JJK both manga and anime use lots of parallelism and analogy scattered around, I've been thinking why at the very start of Red Scale episode they took particular close-up to this sign

Then Yuuji running passed the sign, where his shadow intercepted with it. A similar pose of a man running.

Taking it out of context, the sign was one man, one body that is split into two parts. Depicting Yuuji's body who is housing two souls inside.

Then at the very end of the episode, when Yuuji was unconscious at death's door, we are once again given a close-up of the sign...

Now showing the sign was split in half...the body that was sectioned into two before now left with only 1 side... with blood splattered on it. Foreshadowing whose part is now left more on the upfront and the shitshow that's about to go down...

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 8: The Man Trap

My mom and I started our long-overdue rewatch of Star Trek TOS (aka the best television show of all time) today so here are some liveblog-ish notes on 1x01 The Man Trap:

Kirk talking about Bones’s love life in his official log--so inappropriate. He’s such a gossip. I know this wasn’t intended to be the first televised ep but I love how he’s introduced being adorable and joking with his friend.

If Darnell thinks the young blonde woman is McCoy’s ex-girlfriend, he must assume that McCoy had a love affair with a literal child lol. Use your brain, boy. Darnell is who people who don’t like Kirk think Kirk is.

PLUM.

P L U M

Every single shot of Kirk is so romantic.

He knows all the regulations by heart. So far confirmed: gossip; romantic; nerd.

Oh no she ate Darnell.

Uhura is Certified Adorable.

Vulcan has no moon.

Spock is definitely undeniably worried that the killed crew member is Jim; I will not be taking criticism on this post. I feel so bad for him all the time. Everyone thinks he doesn’t feel but he Feels So Much. (This is going to be a comment on every single episode I can tell.)

Okay someone’s died so we’re done gossiping now.

They’re trying to figure out what happened to all the salt in Darnell’s body and I’m just like...... guys........ someone ATE the salt, obviously.

Everything Kirk says is flirty. “I’m not counting [your mistakes] Bones.” Certified bi because Shatner could not stop flirting.

“Stop thinking with your glands.” Lol.

It’s pretty hilarious that Yeoman Rand was eating Sulu’s food. And he didn’t notice.

That plant (Beauregard/Gertrude) is so obviously a hand in a puppet.

I find it so touching that Uhura wants to speak to someone in her native language. It doesn’t come up all that often but a lot of these people (arguably all of them, if you imagine as I do that “standard” and “English” are not synonymous) are not speaking their first languages most of the time.

Salt Monster McCoy!

They’re going into quarantine lol.

I get a lot of enjoyment watching Kirk and Spock run and hide and crawl among the sand and ruins.

I feel like Spock is getting way more distracted by the buffalo story than Kirk is.

I also get a lot of enjoyment out of the irony of this scene where everyone sits around talking about where the salt monster might be and she’s literally right there, discussing herself. Like I was also listening to the words, mostly, but I just was really tickled by the whole scenario.

That’s an interesting hypothesis FOR A SALT MONSTER.

I wonder how much stock to put into Kirk’s ideas about what Crater got out of his relationship with the salt creature. Is that just his opinion or is it supposed to be narratively true? Much to think about.

She ate Crater.... So much for needing love.

Spock goes absolutely feral every time Kirk is in danger. Every single time. Wild as hell.

You know I used to be moved by the buffalo comparison but now I think it's not really right. The buffalo are animals. The salt creature is more like a human. I assume they were the dominant life forms on the planet? The ones that built all the stuff?

This isn’t really a criticism of ST because I don’t do that but maybe it’s just easier for Crater, and Kirk et. al., to think about buffalo than to think about humans themselves dying out for lack of resources. If it’s hard to kill anything that’s the last of its kind, then it’s doubly hard to kill the last of a species that could have been humans themselves.

This story is really wild and it gets wilder the more you think about it. The archaeologist  wants to learn about a long dead civilization, except somehow one member of the civilization is still alive (not sure how since she needs so much salt) and she kills his wife and he's like 'okay I'll just marry the salt creature instead' and they just live together for a year.

I mean I guess another possibility is that the salt creatures weren't the ones who built the ruins and maintained the civilization, that they WERE like buffalo, but if this level of skill and intelligence is what their "animals" were like, then what could the "main" inhabitants have been? Like imagine Earth but everything is dead except one buffalo.

My mom and I were also wondering what happened to the salt. The whole planet looks very desolate. The ruins are big and occasionally ornate but also sparse--like there used to be a lot more. Maybe a totally different environment. Or possibly, the ruins are from an older civilization still, that did not overlap with the salt creatures. Alternately, they did overlap, in which case--what were the others like, to live with beings who can shapeshift, read minds, and hypnotize other beings. (Just immune?) Were they adversaries? Did they destroy each other?

The thing is there are many possibilities, because the planet is such an unknown. It doesn’t even have a real name. It’s quite a sad episode, really.

[dustedmagazine]

Broken bodies all the time: Ian Mathers’ year in review

Photo by Paul Husband

Since, let’s say, September, I’ve seen an increasing number of comments from people amazed at just how bloody long 2018 has been, pointing out that events that seem much further back (tide pods! an Olympics! that one political thing in the US, you know, the thing that feels like it was a decade ago!) actually happened this year. I’m no more immune to that kind of horrified, exhilarated realization than any of my friends and loved ones, but I also have a personal one that I can’t believe had fallen so far off my radar that I wasn’t originally conscious of it when I was trying to sum up my year for Dusted.

This past January I went and had surgery to remove a “grapefruit-sized” chondrosarcoma and a section of the three ribs on my left side where it had grown. Other than a noticeable lump in my chest there’d been no other symptoms, one surgery (and about 6 weeks off of work, with pay thankfully) dealt with it cleanly, at least according to the follow-up scans I’ve had and will have twice-yearly until 2022 or so. If you have to get surgery-necessitating cancer, basically, mine was just about the best-case scenario you could hope for (especially here in Canada, where I didn’t have to worry about bankruptcy as a result of medical costs). I don’t want to, and haven’t, made this entire essay about My Cancer Experience (in no small part both because I did have it relatively easy enough that I routinely feel guilty expecting any sort of accommodation for it, even when I was still very much knocked out by the surgery I’d had, and because when everyone wants to know about it you quickly realize it’s kind of boring to talk about), but it does strike that it’d be almost disingenuous to talk about my experience of 2018 without mentioning it. I did allude to it in passing in my 2017 essay here (as well as my wife’s diagnosis of a chronic autoimmune illness, something that honestly effects our day to day lives a lot more), but that was pre-surgery so I was too superstitious to give it a name in such a public forum. Now, when people who know me mention it, I almost have to remind myself that the scariest medical experience of my life to date happened not that long ago.  

I’ve been thinking about it a bit more since reading on Bandcamp Daily that, while Low didn’t really make this part of the narrative around Double Negative when it was being released, about eight months of that album’s gestation happened after Alan Sparhawk had a ski injury involving broken ribs and punctured lungs, and that the recovery process was arduous and involved a lot of prolonged pain. And that got me thinking about context. There are positive and welcomed uses of context, of course; personally, to take a few examples from this year, I think both Leverage Models’ Whites and Zeal & Ardor’s Stranger Fruit are great albums that only gain from some of the context around their creations. But, crucially, it seems the creators involved agree with me, which is why that context is presented up-front in the material around those albums. It’s different when it’s something that, while you might acknowledge its real effects (as Alan does above), you suspect people will blow out of proportion to make the only important fact surrounding what you’ve made. It got me thinking about my own resistance to people - people who love and care about me! - ascribing aspects of my behaviour or actions to the cancer and/or the surgery (and it definitely did have some effects… to take a pretty surface-level one I listened to a lot more records in 2018 than I did in 2017, but didn’t write quite as much). It got me thinking about David Bowie not wanting his last record to be received, at least initially, as his last record.  

And while Alan doesn’t make a big deal of it in that piece, I can see why he might want people to absorb the startling, abrasively gorgeous Double Negative (along with Whites, which I could describe in very similar terms, my favourite/most important record of 2018) on its own terms rather than our narrative-seeking minds possibly turning it into being just ‘about’ his injury (and, not incidentally, wiping out the contributions of the others who worked on the album). Those listeners who did find themselves responding to the record probably wouldn’t be changed that much by the extra information, but goodness knows that every piece of art that gets released has to deal with some dumb, reductive takes, and how would it feel to have those responses taking on (and inflating the importance of) something so personal and literally painful?  

2018 also potentially sees a bigger and less personal loss of context in the music/music criticism world, though. As much as I will maintain all day every day that the more consensus you get when it comes to things like records of the year the more boring you intrinsically have to get, I still felt an absence knowing that the Village Voice Pazz & Jop critics poll was going to vanish with the Voice itself. The interesting thing about every year’s poll was almost never the top ten most acclaimed albums and singles (not necessarily a shot at the quality of that music, just that we’d all been talking about them all year; inevitably, they were all very known quantities), it was seeing what had placed in the lower reaches of the standings, digging around in the votes of friends and colleagues, tracing odd connections and seeing how your own lesser-known favourites were regarded, if at all, by the larger group. And even more than that, I’d argue, what was fascinating and valuable about Pazz & Jop was the way it functioned as a kind of historical record, so that you could look back at a year from decades past and see, not what were the best or even longest-lasting records from that year but what the people who were engaged in listening to and thinking and writing about music thought was important and engaging. I say “potentially,” though, because I had just enough time to realize I was mourning an institution I’d kind of taken for granted (and to be fair, again, each year’s findings at the top seem kind of ploddingly obvious at the time) when I got a new ballot. It looks like some sort of continuation is happening, although only time will tell if this is a genuine resurrection or a last gasp.  

Either way, I haven’t yet tried to narrow things down to lists of 10 (and given that there’s still over 10 hours of music left in my playlist of 2018 releases I haven’t gotten to yet), so here is 25 of the records I’ll be thinking about as I try to figure that ballot out, strictly in order of when I added them to my list, with links to the ones I’ve written about on Dusted. (I didn’t have as much time to go over reissues as I’d like, but probably my favourite was the gorgeous one of the overlooked late Bark Psychosis album ///Codename: Dustsucker, which I reviewed here.) 

Xylouris White - Mother

Mesarthim - The Density Parameter

V/A - Black Panther: The Album

Well Yells - Skunk

Tangents - New Bodies

Tracyanne & Danny - s/t

Tove Styrke - Sway

Wand - Perfume

The Armed - Only Love

Low - Double Negative

Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears

Obnox - Templo Del Sonido

Nadja - Sonnborner

Pusha T - DAYTONA

No Age - Snares Like a Haircut

Zeal & Ardor - Stranger Fruit

Chelsea Jade - Personal Best

Leverage Models - Whites

Aidan Baker - Deer Park

Robyn - Honey

Efrim Menuck - Pissing Stars

U.S. Girls - In a Poem Unlimited

Andrew Bayer - In My Last Life

Abul Mogard - Above All Dreams

DenMother - Past Life

And I can’t manage one of these every year, but this was an awfully good year for the EP, so here’s a top five: 

EMA - Outtakes From Exile EP

Underworld & Iggy Pop - Teatime Dub Encounters EP

IN / VIA - Treading Water EP

Protomartyr - Consolation EP

Hatchie - Sugar & Spice EP

[paulisweeabootrash]

Series Review: Read or Die (R.O.D. the OVA)

Welcome to another episode of Paul is Weeaboo Trash! Today’s topic is a show I’ve previously seen one episode of, so long ago that I’m almost going in fresh: the OVA (what we in the US would call a “direct to video release”) of Read or Die (2001–2002)! I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where education and fun were not portrayed as opposites, and we had the means to find plenty of fun educational things to do.  My parents searched for all kinds of potentially interesting activities, and living in southern New Hampshire, the Boston area was not prohibitively far to go for them.  And so I was signed up for Splash, a program one weekend per fall in which MIT students teach middle- and high-school-age kids seminars on a wide variety of topics.

What counted as topics worthy of education was quite broad, however.  I ended up in a "class" that consisted of watching one episode each of several anime that the student running the class was a fan of.  This was back in the days where anime fandom spread person-to-person by recommendations and there was more emphasis on developing a background knowledge of "classics" among the more informed and/or snootier fans.  (I still feel this way a bit because certain tropes and references are so common or influential that being familiar with the original sources can make newer shows suddenly make a lot more sense, but I disapprove of the gatekeeper tendency to look down on people who don't yet know the things "everyone knows".)

I don't remember how many shows we sampled there, but the two that made an impact were Hellsing, which in retrospect was at best questionable for the age of the audience, and was very much not my thing because I have a low tolerance for gore, and the topic of this post, Read or Die, which was very much the kind of thing I wanted to see: a nerd being a badass in a fantastical way.  Especially since I was also really into James Bond at the time, so I was probably primed to eat up other media involving a British spy fighting a mysterious secret organization.  Since I'm incredibly averse to media piracy and had no clue where to buy anime, though, I never followed up to finish watching it, and eventually it faded from my mind.  Until I stumbled across the first volume of the manga for super-cheap at Saboten Con last year, and it flicked some nostalgia switch that reminded me how much I'd enjoyed it at the time, although I barely remember any actual details, so I am practically going in fresh here.

Read or Die follows Yomiko Readman, a teacher, obsessive book collector and reader, and superpowered secret agent who can manipulate paper in nearly any way.  Any paper available, from money to ribbons to a briefcase full of blank looseleaf she apparently just brings with her.  She uses this power in the course of her service as a secret agent, codename The Paper, working for the British Library?!  Along with Miss Deep, who can selectively phase shift, and Drake Anderson, a gruff and dismissive military type (and apparently potter in his cover job), she is assigned to a plan to save the world in a way that vaguely involves collecting books.  Saved from whom?  The I-jin, clones of historical geniuses with superpowers related to their areas of expertise, such as... knowing stuff about insects, or... uh... spreading Buddhism to Japan... who are going to flashy and violent lengths to steal books the British Library is trying to acquire legitimately.  Trust me, it eventually gets explained, and the Big Reveal, although pretty goddamn weird, fits in with the rest of what has been established.  Suspend your disbelief enough to accept the I-jin at all, and it’s fine, although still a bit ludicrous.

And I submit that all that is still less weird and ridiculous than your typical superhero or spy movie, and this show does after all have elements of both genres in one.  Or, well, more and more superhero and military action as it goes on.  Although the theme music uses 60s guitar sounds, chromatic chord changes, and blaring brass hits that are virtually guaranteed to evoke the James Bond theme, and our main cast do work for a secret intelligence agency, they are in quite open military-style conflict with the I-jin -- with the approval of the UN -- and very little that’s actually covert occurs, with the notable exception of something I can’t spoil that happens at the end of ep. 2.  And because of the superpower angle, some of the instances of weirdness are not flaws at all but pretty creative implementations of the characters’ powers (using a paper airplane as a lethal weapon?!).

This last point didn’t really fit in organically, but I'd also like to mention a couple of things about the art that I love but don't see often.  The very first shot of the series uses multiple flat backgrounds at different distances moving in relation to each other to convey the camera moving across the scene, which I have seen in other animated works (at the moment, I can only think of examples from very old Disney movies off the top of my head), but not in recent ones.  I don't know whether it's simply out-of-fashion or this is a result of the shift to CGI so animators figure "why would we do this when we can actually render a city with realistic perspective?"  This show also has a particular kind of fluid motion in characters that I’ve seen in many reasonably-high-production-value shows from the 90s and 00s, but rarely in newer shows (Space Dandy being a notable exception).  Maybe I'm watching the wrong recent shows, maybe it's just a stylistic choice that's out of fashion, maybe it's harder to pull off convincingly when you're not animating by hand.

I’m glad I finally got to watch this.  It’s even better than I remember.  Now to get to work on the rest of the manga and the other series.  Oh yeah, haha.  The abbreviation "R.O.D." stands for both "Read or Die" and "Read or Dream", which are different parts of the same larger series.  The Read or Die manga (4 volumes), this OVA series, the Read or Dream manga (also 4 volumes), and a 26-episode TV series all take place in the same narrative universe, rather than the usual model of the anime being an adaptation/retelling of the manga.  There is also a light novel series I know nothing about, but it sounds from the Wikipedia article like that is the single ongoing series that is the source for the two manga and two anime.  (There is also apparently a barely-related future side story manga.)

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W/A/S: 1/3/3

Weeb: I don’t think there’s much, if anything, in here that would require explanation to a typical Western audience and which isn’t also explained in the dialogue.

Ass: There is a single implied nipple in the opening sequence.  Gasp!  And Miss Deep's costume design is pretty fanservicey, but only barely more explicitly so than you're likely to get in American media deemed suitable for older children.

Shit: Until the Big Reveal, it's just unclear why anyone involved other than Yomiko should be this interested in acquiring the specific books that serve as the show’s MacGuffin, nor is it clear that the I-jin’s plans extend further than searching for them in a very destructive way, leaving me baffled that the Library immediately makes the connection that the books are key to saving the world.  There are a few minor errors in the subtitles and a visual glitch (Blu Ray remaster, please?), and a couple of places where faces just... don’t... look right.  Oh, and if you’re watching the dubbed version, add another half point of Shit for Crispin Freeman’s British accent.

And for the first time I feel the need to add a CONTENT WARNING.  Usually, I think the review is sufficient to give you the idea whether there is anything likely to be disturbing in a show, but this is different, because the first two episodes have the sort of over-the-top stylized combat you might expect from other action anime or Western superhero media, where even a death comes off as un-shocking.  But in ep. 3 of this, there is a shocking pivot.  There are several short instances of graphic and sudden violence of kinds that are quite a bit more disturbing and distressing (even when they involve the use of powers) than anything that occurred previously.

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Stray Observations:

- Yes, those of you who know a little Japanese caught that joke: "Yomiko" could be loosely translated as "read girl".  Her name is "Read Girl Read Man".  Because she likes to read.  Get it?  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!

- In the manga, Yomiko is also established to be a literal bibliophile.  As in "books, regardless of content, turn her on".  I'm kind of glad this is not a plot point in the anime.

- The “secret” operation in the last episode, which is conducted with UN approval and involves an actual military attack with an actual goddamn naval fleet (and collaborating with North Korea to keep the US too distracted to notice it, even though this is a British operation against an organization that literally burned down the White House in the first scene of the first episode) might actually beat the first few episodes of Full Metal Panic! for “worst undercover operation ever”.

[mindibindi]

Gene/Alex Scenes That Made Me Go Whoa… [4/5]

So here’s a scene that made me go whoa in a bad way. Not long after finishing the series, I saw a confession on @ashestoashesconfessions that said this scene always made the confessor uncomfortable. Which got me thinking -- why is it there? Because -- let’s state this straight up -- violence against women should make us feel uncomfortable. Hitting a woman, in this case a completely defenseless woman, is not okay. It’s not cool. It’s not smart. It’s not strong. It’s not funny. It’s an act of misogyny and I don’t think of Ashes to Ashes as a misogynistic show. In fact, Ashes, even more so than Life on Mars, makes it clear that misogyny is a baseless, cowardly, immature, transparent joke. If you’re watching these shows and thinking that they’re confirming your misogynistic ideas then the joke is on you. They are not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you.

So, if we assume that Ashes is not a misogynistic show then there must be some narrative purpose to this scene. At first, I merely understood it as a necessary measure since Alex has just died. Something has to happen to pull her not just out of her own subconscious but away from the other side, back into Gene’s world. And whatever it is has to be powerful enough to quite literally wake the dead. Especially if we want Alex’s journey in Gene’s world (and this show therefore) to continue, which of course we do. So there’s that. It also illustrates the utterly unyielding will of this man who is so intent on saving lost copper’s souls. She’s one of his and he’s not letting her go, not without a hell of a fight. So in that sense, the slap is an act of mercy, as well as necessity.

But wait. There’s more.

For me, this act has further relevance to Alex’s journey throughout the show and series 3 in particular. This slap opens the final chapter on Alex’s journey, signifying the last issue she has to lay to rest before finding peace. After all, if all she needed to do was realise the truth about her parents’ death then she could have left after series 1. If she was only there to release Molly, then she could have headed to pub-heaven mid-series 2. But like Shaz, Chris and Ray, something else needed processing and, like Chris and Ray, it has to do trust. For the boys, it’s about trust and authority. For Alex, it’s about trust and love.

See, this final series, in my view, is all about Alex coming to terms with the man she loves. A man we all love but all find problematic at times. Like right here, for instance. LoM never really had to deal with the problematic nature of Gene Hunt (which is partly why it’s a much friendlier watch for your everyday misogynist). This final series of Ashes is, however, a culmination of both shows so it therefore has to acknowledge/process issues that LoM raised but never resolved. This includes how deeply problematic this character is for us to love, for his team to love and obey and, most of all, for Alex to love and want to be with. Of course, this strand that weaves throughout the final series is never completely convincing because we all know that, down deep, Gene is a good guy with a heart of gold, a shining, if warped, sense of justice and a squishy, gooey, caramelly centre. This is established wisdom. We knew it even back in 1973. And Alex figured it out in 1982, admitting to his face in 2.05 that he’s a “good, kind, decent man”. So...what’s the problem? Why is she suddenly seized by doubt?

Two words: Daddy. Issues.

In my opinion, all the Gene Hunt/Jim Keats stuff is about the men in Alex’s first life. Her dad, surrogate dad and husband all hurt her in some deeply traumatic way that she is not yet over. Firstly, there’s her dad, who killed her mother, stole her innocence, destroyed her sense of family and security. And, oh yeah, tried to blow her up. (There is an implication in the 1st series that this was information Alex always had but just had to piece together and accept). Then there’s Pete, with whom she had a rocky relationship, it is implied. He took advantage of her financially, maybe cheated on her and finally left her and Molly, upsetting her sense of family and security all over again. Finally, there’s Evan, the man she always thought of as her savior. The one she worshiped, was grateful for, could always rely on. Except, of course, that he lied to her her entire life, not just about her parents’ death but about the role he played in the disintegration of their marriage. This lie eventually robbed Alex of her life. (The bullet in her brain comes just after Evan presumably refuses to deal with her abductor). This is the man she is relying on to take care of her daughter. Him and her errant father. So this is as much about Alex trusting men for her own sake as for her daughter’s.

Into this convoluted mess, rides Gene Hunt on his blood-red steed. A man for whom violence is the norm, communication an anathema and romantic love a joke. A man who casually wounds her with his words and eventually wounds her with his gun. The shooting at the end of series 2 triggers Alex’s long-held fear, causing her to go on the offensive, to prime herself for the next male-inflicted trauma she needs to protect herself from. Intellectually, she knows the shooting was an accident, that Gene is good and trust-worthy and acted to protect her. More than that, she knows he genuinely cares for her. But on a purely physical level, in her gut (literally), she’s traumatised, fragile and wary. Because he hurt her. And here, he hurts her again. This ferocious slap sets Gene up as someone for Alex to fear, someone she loves who has the potential not just to wound her, but destroy her. Because it’s those we love best who hold the power to wound us most deeply -- or undo us altogether. This idea is sown throughout series 3 with good women that Alex feels sympathy for falling for bad men and meeting disastrous ends. She has the following exchange with one of them at the end of this ep:

ALEX: You know, the first time I ever met you, you were running. You've wanted to escape from this from day one, haven't you?

MARJORIE: Gary could've gotten away when he broke out. But he came to find me. It's a hell of a thing to be that wanted.

ALEX: You actually let him fracture your cheek.

MARJORIE: I love him.

ALEX: Even though he made you be part of all this?

MARJORIE: I fell for him from day one. Sometimes, you can't help which way you fall.

Obviously, the last line repeats Alex’s from the beginning of the episode. But the graze on Marjorie’s face, the fractured cheek that’s mentioned, echos the slap Alex sustains above. Marjorie running from her husband echos Alex running from Gene when he appears on all those screens in her subconscious. It also echos that familiar shot from the credits of her running down the gangplank in 1981, trying to escape his world and get back to her own. The husband’s return from jail likewise mirrors Gene’s risky return from abroad, his unyielding will and want of her. A want that she is starting to think of as spelling her doom, even if he doesn’t intend it to. Like Marjorie, Alex has been running from Gene Hunt since day one. Unfortunately for her, she also fell for him, from day one. This is a love with high stakes though, since it could potentially send her to hell for all eternity.

At least, that is the implication of the second pairing of a good woman and a bad man in 3.04. Alex clearly identifies with this female copper who has been abandoned undercover and left to fend for herself. In her effort to do so, Louise falls under the spell of the kingpin of this violent underworld -- a charming, grizzled older man who draws her over to the dark side before causing her death. Though it is the younger villain, the Keats substitute, that inflicts the final blow to Louise, it is the older villain, the Gene substitute, who puts her in danger, manipulates her love, skews her morals and sullies her soul. The devil is thus able to claim the soul of this corrupted officer, sending her to hell. None of which Alex knows but all of which she can sense. This instinctive fear incites her several times throughout this series to go to Gene and beg him to talk to her. Because this is what will make her feel safe. It’s the psychologist in her -- words, emotions, past deeds all fit together to create a full understanding of a character. This deeper knowledge of him that she craves is what will allow her to totally trust him. And some part of Gene wants to be known to her. A more innocent, essential part of him perhaps, as signified by the young Gene Hunt that constantly appears to her. The wraith of this wounded copper represents Alex’s wish to know the origin story, the truth, the heart, the depth and breadth of the man she loves. But it also represents Gene’s longing, so long and so brutally repressed, to be truly known and wholly loved.

Tragically, whenever Alex reaches out to him, tells him what she needs in order to love him, the old, jaded Gene shuts her down, shuts her out. He expects her trust, commands it. But will not foster it with confidences, believing perhaps they are beyond such irrelevancies. The only one talking to her throughout this series is Keats. He starts by visiting her bedside, talking to her there, sympathising with her. “We’ll keep talking,” he tells her later. “Do we need to talk?” he asks as Yazoo plays in the background and as Alex looks over her shoulder at the taciturn, distant, shut-up Gene. The comparison is clear. Keats isn't the one Alex wants to talk with but she gravitates towards him because the one she wants to talk with refuses to give her the assurance, the information, the intimacy she needs in order to feel loved and secure. For her, it’s like having a relationship with a brick wall. A brick wall with very pretty blue eyes. Gene has let her in -- but only so far. The intimacy he will allow has reached a hard limit. It’s difficult to know why this change occurs in Gene. For, following the trajectory of the first two series, and the second in particular, the intimacy between them should deepen, not stall. But perhaps, much like them, their relationship is in a limbo of paused action, recurring misunderstanding and frustrated desire.

What is clear is that the second Gene starts talking to her, Alex’s faith in him revives. When she finally gets the truth about Sam Tyler out of him on their date, she believes him instantly, instinctively, utterly. She’s completely reabsorbed by their connection. So much so that the trajectory their relationship had taken up until the shooting suddenly kicks back in as she invites him upstairs, into her heart and into her bed. The certainty with which she does this is touching, though it is undermined by her subsequently running out on him just as they about to consummate their relationship. For me, this last-minute bolt by Alex feels unjustified and constructed. For me, she quit running from Gene Hunt and decided to trust him in that moment downstairs. And she surrendered to loving him the moment her head lowered to his shoulder as they danced. The tender kiss he places on her forehead in this scene is the perfect opposite of the slap that opens their interaction for the series. It proves more than any words could what we and Alex knew all along -- that Gene Hunt is a man to love, not fear. 

[lostinafictionaluniverse]

Riverdale 1x09 thoughts

Under the cut bcos its super long, read at your own risk

Jughead’s opening narrative

Blossoms have controlled the maple syrup business since the town’s founding? No mention of the Cooper’s/ Hal grandpa

AAAnnnd we don’t hear Jason speak yet again.  

The sickly, sweet smell was inescapable - allusion to the Blossom’s influence on the town, how all-pervading their power is? And how they leave their mark on everything? That last comment by Cheryl after she kisses Archie - about her lipstick being Maple Red and the sweet taste being because of it? Was it really necessary? Is it some sort of clue? I love how Maple Syrup stands for so many things in this town - For the Blossoms, its obviously power and legacy; and its also the symbol for slut shaming so does that link slut shaming to the Blossom clan somehow? Its sweet, its sticky, its red - hmmm, blood is sticky and red too....

Bughead scene in Betty’s room  

THEY’RE SITTING ON HER BED LITERALLY ON TOP OF EACH OTHER (*DYING WHALE NOISE*)

SHE IMMEDIATELY AIRS HER CONCERNS TO HIM

HE’S HER ROCK, HE’S THERE TO LISTEN AND HELP HER AND ASSUAGE HER FEARS AND BUILD HER UP AND SHE KNOWS THIS!

WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT - BETTY IS NOT ALONE ANYMORE, JUGHEAD IS WITH HER IN ALL OF THIS SHIT SHE’S GOING THROUGH

COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (BRB - BUSY DYING)

HER SMILE AND LEANING TOWARDS HIM, HIS HAND SLIDING DOWN HER THIGH, HER HAND GOING UP TO HIS FACE, HIS SMILE, THE KISS

ALICE COOPER, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

THE STARTLED JUMP, HURRIEDLY BREAKING APART, THE LOOK OF IRRITATION ON BETTY’S FACE!

Alice shows no surprise at Juggie being there, means she knows, or she let him in. So Bughead already has the stamp of approval from Mama Cooper! It could be that Alice saw how their extreme disapproval had affected Polly (and Jason) and hence she decided not to do the same to Betty? Or maybe she genuinely likes Juggie like Madchen has said? 

Her deciding to go after the Blossoms reeks of anger about her own failure to get her daughter back. She talks about the Cooper-Blossoms feud, but its really something else, something we will know only in ep 12. What the Blossoms really did to the Coopers. Why would Alice hate the Blossoms so much for what they did to her husband’s grandpa? This is personal (Hal says as much)

“According to your milquetoast father”- what’s with Alice calling Hal all these coward names? What did Hal do or didn’t do that was so cowardly? She brought this up earlier - when Betty questioned Hal if he had killed Jason - she said he wouldn’t have the stomach for it. 

Seriously did Alice hate Jason so much just because he knocked up her daughter? She was hoping he’d rot in hell when they found his body, she was positively gloating when the coroner told her about scavenger activity and him being tortured, she thinks killing him would be a brave thing to do. This much hatred for a boy who got her daughter pregnant? Alice can be dramatic I know, but this is a bit too much, even for her.

Ronnie and Hermione

I’m glad Hermione told Ronnie exactly what was happening with Fred and how Hiram had gotten to know about them

Seriously the kids in this show seem so much more mature than the adults, Ronnie tells her mom to come clean - this is a small town, tell him before he gets to know from anyone else.

Cheryl and Archie

What’s with all this sudden interest in Archie, Cheryl? Has she always been interested? Remember Betty warning Ronnie in the pilot not to talk about Archie when Cheryl approaches them? Do they have a history? I don’t want Kevin or Reggie, I want you. She makes it seem as though it was all about him defending her to Sheriff Keller, but idk.

Ethel and Ronnie

Ronnie recognized Ethel’s poem for what it was - a cry for help. Then her confession to Kevin about what she and her BFF at Spence did to a girl called Paige (and the girl had to have therapy and transfer schools). Clearly she feels guilty as hell. Ronnie is trying to change and that’s what’s the best thing about her. She hardly ever backslides on her mission, in fact the only glimpses we see of the old Ronnie is possibly the regret laced in her voice when she talks about what they lost. 

I love that she immediately talked to Ethel and offered compassion and kindness. Ronnie is such friendship goals - really! 

Archie and Penelope Blossom

That far angle camera shot with both of them standing made me think they were gonna kiss! Archie - you truly are a ginger stallion offering rides to anyone who cares to get on!

Penelope brought up that jersey thing again - not only brought it up - they actually showed us that moment from the funeral when Archie offered her Jason’s jersey which makes me think this is important somehow. The fact that Penelope commented on his resemblance to Jason yet again - ‘i swear when the light hits you just right” - makes me wonder if that theory about him being the victim might not be true? Or the resemblance may not be concerned with the murder itself but to some other secrets that maybe revealed as to the truth of these kids’ real parentage? If Cheryl and Jason are not really Blossoms, then the whole legacy plot-line fails. Jason is not the heir, neither is Cheryl. 

Why does everyone need to reiterate the fact that Archie is good and decent unlike everyone else in this town??? Show us, don’t tell us. We had Cheryl, Mr and Mrs Blossom all talk about his great character and his goodness. Why are they rubbing in that fact? Is it not obvious? Or is it foreshadowing that he really is not good and decent and is going to do something dastardly? Or is it that in the Blossom’s book, good and decent people can be bought and /or used to their advantage? Like maybe they used some other good and decent people? Eg; Mary Andrews. What if Penelope was barren and couldn’t have children and since it was so important for the Blossoms to have a heir, Clifford had Jason and Cheryl with Mary (they need not have slept together, IVF and surrogacy were viable options) or someone else entirely? Maybe Fred needed money to set up the business and Mary was paid handsomely for it. And Fred wasn’t entirely on board with it, hence the tension between him and Mary and also the reason why they separated years later? Could this be the secret Fred is keeping? It was said that Cheryl and Jason’s twincest would be explored in this episode, but not quite in the way we expect. Was it an allusion to Cheryl kissing Archie? I know this theory has a hole because why would Clifford and Penelope actively encourage Archie to hang out with Cheryl? But I’m excited at the possibility that there maybe a link somewhere - Archie resembling Jason cannot just be a coincidence. The theory that Archie may not really be Fred’s son but Mary and Clifford’s has already been talked about. This could also be a reason for Fred and Mary to split if he found out years later. And maybe Cliff didn’t know, Mary never told him cause she was already married to Fred or something? But they’re drawn to Archie because he reminds them of Jason. Else its hard to understand the Blossom’s fixation with him! Archie’s loyalty to his dad keeps coming up too, he was willing to give up his musical career if Cliff would help his dad’’s business. It would be poetic if Fred wasn’t really his dad, yet they have this inextricable bond.

Archie was very believably seduced by the promise of a great musical future at the Bradenburg school and who wouldn’t be?

The kids in the common room

Jughead being the first to deduce that Mrs Blossom offering something to Archie cannot be without any strings attached - he’s so razor sharp, this boy!

Okay with you being a gigolo?

Ronnie is wise - she knows its hard to get by without connections but also that these connections come with a price-tag.

She looks to Betty for support, but Betty thinks its a great idea. Throwback to Archie asking Ronnie for support when Betty was attacking him about the Grundy thing, and Ronnie sides with Betty! Methinks Betty wasn’t thinking about Archie here, she wanted someone to get info on her sister for her, which is okay!

Maple syrup tapping scene

That scroll thing was ludicrous!

Cheryl was so nervous about the tree tapping thing, Archie’s encouragement got her going. Cheryl demeanor is a facade, she’s lost and lonely and also bitter and jealous. She wanted her parents’ attention, but Jason got it, he became the Golden boy. So she resorted to wild erratic behavior to get her parents’ attention. Inside, she’s just messed up, she craves approval and attention. Like all attention hungry kids she will do whatever it takes to ensure that all eyes are on her. She loves flattery and is immediately susceptible to anyone who even shows her a modicum of kindness, which shows she hasn’t had much growing up. Her parents are horrible to her, her brother was good to her, but he died. I wonder if her yearning for her parents’ approval made her hate Jason to deep down? Or at least resent him for being the favorite? Did she inwardly rejoice when he decided to run away, knowing that now her parents would now rely on her with Jason gone? Maybe they’d even cut him off from their legacy and she could be the heir? I did support the Cheryl killed Jason theory because of this notion. She does have a motive. If it were to come out that she actually really hated Jason and was jealous of him, she would have a very good reason to do away with him. It could also be that she loved him just like she says she does, and still thinks Polly killed her brother. That’s why she reddened Polly’s face and why she was the one to ask her to come stay with them in Thornhill. 

Polly thinks the Blossoms killed Jason, Cheryl thinks Polly did and the Blossoms just want their heirs aka Jason’s children that Polly’s carrying. Ugh! What a mess!

Archie standing up for Cheryl was sweet  and very Archie-like but it was a tad overdone - “Don’t underestimate Cheryl”? Don’t bet against her”? I think its foreshadowing about how crazed, dangerous and vindictive Cheryl really can be if you get on her wrong side which Archie managed to do by the end of the episode! Also her prompting him about her 4.0 GPA was so Cheryl!!! 

Archie gets sucked into escorting Cheryl to a banquet. And he’s going to have a suit tailor-fitted for the occasion! Poor sod!

So Ethel’s grandpa and dad are both called Manfred?

Hermione and Fred

Hermione finally came clean to Fred and told him about the land and the Lodges being the anonymous buyers. Fred was understandably pissed. Hermione is a smart cookie, maybe her business acumen is actually better than her husband’s and she’s the one calling all the shots while pretending to be this helpless, hapless woman. Didn’t Penelope say at the end that they should’ve sent Hermione to jail instead of Hiram?

So Clifford told Hiram that Hermione and Fred were together? Why? Just to gloat? Or to get him to sabotage his own building which is precisely what he did. So he knows exactly how Hiram would react. I’m curious about Hiram. If he was this cold-blooded businessman that everyone says he is, he wouldn’t react so impractically to his wife seeing Fred. He wouldn’t sabotage himself just for getting back at his wife’s lover, he could’ve thought up of other ways to deal with Fred. So Hiram loves Hermione, but does Hermione love Hiram? Was she just playing a game with Fred so he would get on board SoDale? But Fred was interested in SoDale anyway, She could’ve got him on board even without playing cootchie-coo with him. So did she really care? 

Fred toughened up and asked for a 20% stake and also ended things with him and Hermione. Which was great. Showed backbone and also his - I’m sick of you people using me and my family as pawns- speaks about his righteous anger against being taken for a ride. Hermione wasn’t pleased but had to grin and bear it for now. Hiram is certainly not going to be pleased. 

Back to Bughead and Cheryl (and I’m back to capslock)

POWER COUPLE WALK IN STEP

BETTY LOOKING TO JUGGIE FOR REASSURANCE SINCE SHE FINDS HER COURAGE FALTERING WHEN SHE CONFRONTS CHERYL

HE LOOKS BACK AT HER WITH A -YOU’VE GOT THIS BABE

AND OUR BABE ATTACKS - WHAT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME SPELL HAVE YOU CAST OVER MY SISTER?

JUGGIE LOOKS ON ADMIRINGLY AT WIFEY WITH A SMILE

THEN ATTACKS WITH HIS OWN - HOSTAGES DO NOT GET TO MAKE OUTGOING CALLS!

SO NANA BLOSSOM’S POWERS ARE TRUE, POLLY IS HAVING TWINS!

Cheryl mentions a Dr Patel, Is he Raj and Tina Patel’s dad? If yes, will we see them in Riverdale S2? Sidenote: Isn’t Tina one of Cheryl’s friends already?  

CHERYL DID YOU JUST CALL MY SON A HOBO YOU WITCH!!! (I love Cheryl btw, she’s so extra and Madelaine plays her so well)

SHE LITERALLY CUTS THROUGH THEM, PUSHING THEM APART! I already mentioned I think this is foreshadowing that she will be responsible for the conflict that creates a rift between Bughead.

BUT FEAR NOT, IT’S ONLY MOMENTARY. SINCE OUR BOY’S HAND IS BACK ON HIS GIRL’S BACK ALMOST THE IMMEDIATE NEXT SECOND! WHICH ALSO MEANS THE BUGHEAD RIFT IS GOING TO BE VERY VERY MOMENTARY AND THEY WILL BE BACK TOGETHER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AND STRONGER THAN EVER!

Ronnie and Ethel

Ronnie telling Ethel her dad used to buy her expensive gifts whenever he did something wrong. Poor Ronnie. Her heartbreak at finding out Ethel’s dad had attempted suicide was so genuine, that scene was powerful and Camila played it very well, pulling apart the beads from her neck, symbolically destroying her dad’s hold over her. And her finally telling her mom she as done lying for him. It was a touch choice for Ronnie to make, loyalty to family or doing the right thing. I’m so glad she had the strength of character to make the more difficult choice!

Cheryl at Archie’s house

OMG Cheryl is really so extra. She called Fred DILF!

The Icewoman cometh!

Bribing Archie with an ‘84 Les Paul in their signature colour. Swoon!

I soo love Jughead’s expressions all through this exchange!

‘My claustrophobia acts up in small houses’. Is this going to come up again? Cheryl’s claustrophobia? Is someone going to lock her up in dark, dingy closeted space and that triggers something in her? Is she the one in danger that they’re trying to rescue in that snow scene like so many have already pointed out?

Cheryl kisses Archie twice and leaves a lipstick mark in this episode - on his cheeks and lips. Is this foreshadowing/ symbolism of some sort?

‘He’s also pimping himself out to Cheryl’ - Forsythe ‘subtle’ Jones everyone!

Hal and Alice

So Hal fired Alice and blocked her password? Really? He went there? And Alice calls him milquetoast?? More like fearless warrior to me! Hal showed his petty, vindictive side too, so there’s that!

So what’s this, Hal? You hate the Blossoms more than anyone, you don’t want to raise a child with Blossom blood, you have a personal vendetta against the Blossoms from before you were even born! And you’re telling Alice you won’t support her in HER personal vendetta? What even??? 

Okay, theory time! We know that Alice was mad at Hal for what he did to her - the same thing he did to Polly. But he only made an appointment for Polly. He may have done the same for Alice, but does that make it obvious she actually aborted the child? Maybe she gave it up for adoption (this was a choice the Coopers were on board with even for Polly)? Maybe the child was Cliff Blossom’s and that’s why Hal’s extreme hatred for any child with Blossom blood? Maybe Cliff raped Alice and got away because of his powerful connections and that’s why Alice’s extreme hatred for Cliff? I know it sounds crazy but it could explain a lot. I initially thought that Jason and Cheryl could be Alice’s kids (with Clifford) and they gave them up to the Blossoms to raise since Penelope was barren or whatever, but then Polly and Jason incest - yewww! But it would be delicious if the twins thing were actually a Cooper family thing and not a Blossom family one like everyone’s thinking, no??

Alice certainly has rage issues, throwing a brick at your husband, calling him a bastard all in front of your teenage daughter? WTF Alice?

Bughead at the Blue and Gold!

BETTY TELLING JUGGIE ABOUT HER PARENTS FIGHTING AND HOW ALICE THREW A BRICK AT HAL. LIKE I SAID, HE’S HER ROCK AND SHE CANNOT HIDE ANYTHING FROM HIM NO MATTER HOW UGLY!

JUGHEAD BEING JUGHEAD WHEN HE SAYS I WISH I’D SEEN THAT. HIS HUMOUR AND SARCASM ARE SO PART OF HIM NOW, THEY’RE NOT AN ARMOUR ANYMORE

BETTY ROLLING HER EYES AT HIM AND HE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZING FOR BEING INSENSITIVE - MARRIED!!!!!

BETTY BREAKING DOWN - THE COOPERS WON’T EXIST ANYMORE. SHE’S TIRED OF FIGHTING, POOR BABY, SHE’S EXHAUSTED AND SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE IT’S ALL GOING AND NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE

*SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND MODE ACTIVATED* - YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THE WHITE NOISE, STRONGER THAN YOUR FATHER, STRONGER THAN YOUR MOTHER, YOU’RE HOLDING YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER, DON’T GIVE UP, DON’T 

 THAT COLLAR GRAB, THE EARNESTNESS, THE URGENCY IN HIS TONE, HE CANNOT SEE HER BREAK APART, SHE IS HIS CONVICTION, HER FIGHT IS HIS FIGHT TOO. HIS FAITH IN HER ABILITY TO HOLD HER FAMILY TOGETHER IS AN ASSERTION THAT IF HE COULDN’T DO IT SHE COULD! SHE HAS TO SUCCEED, THEN MAYBE SOMEWHERE THERE WOULD BE SOME HOPE FOR HIM TOO!

DID YOU NOTICE HE SAID YOU’RE HOLDING “THIS” FAMILY TOGETHER - NOT “YOUR” FAMILY BUT “THIS” FAMILY- HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF A PART OF HER FAMILY. SHE’S HOLDING HIM TOGETHER TOO! SHE MADE HIM WHOLE, FIXED ALL HIS BROKEN PIECES. HIS “DON’T LET GO” WAS A PLEA FOR HER NOT TO LET GO OF HERSELF - BETTY COOPER, OF WHO SHE WAS DEEP UNDERNEATH AND WHAT SHE’S CAPABLE OF AND WHAT SHE BELIEVES IN. 

SHE IS IMMEDIATELY CONVINCED BECAUSE “I WON’T” IS A PROMISE SHE MAKES TO HIM. A PROMISE THAT SHE WILL BE WHOLE, UNBROKEN AND STRONG FOR HIS SAKE AND WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP HIS FAITH IN HER ALIVE!

THE HUG!

THAT’S ALL - GO HOME

Val and Archie

WHAT DID CHERYL SAY TO VALERIE??

The Blossoms are buying you!

If you have to ask - you don’t know me at all! Slay, Valerie!

Val blowing off Archie - good for you, Val!

Archie at Thornhill

Cliff Blossom thinks Archie by his daughter’s side could improve her image? Why Archie again? 

What were Cheryl and her dad arguing about when Archie was dancing with Polly?

Polly was playing Nancy Drew, I was right! But she’s being foolish. She’s heavily pregnant (with twins!) and she needs to protect her babies first. She entered the enemy’s lair without a thought for her own protection? She’s scared, she doesn’t want the Blossoms to know, which means she thinks they are dangerous. Why would she put herself and her babies willingly in harm’s way just because of the Cooper penchant for sleuthing? Also don’t understand how Betty and Alice can be okay with this madcap scheme?

Cheryl again with the you’re-the-only-good-person-in-this-town which changed the minute Archie wanted to leave. So she’s susceptible to flattery and also petty and vindictive when rejected. Did she kill Jason because he was kind of ‘rejecting’ her for Polly? Or was she secretly happy he was out of the picture so now she could become the focus for her parents?

There could be 2 reasons Cheryl hates Polly. One because Polly’s kids would be the heirs to the Blossom legacy and not her. After Jason she may have thought herself to be the sole claimant. But Polly being pregnant ruined everything for her. Btw, did they do a DNA/ paternity test yet to find if Polly is telling the truth about Jason being the father? The Blossoms are just taking Polly’s (and the Cooper’s) word for it? I think they would smell something underhanded knowing the Coopers are involved. Also Cheryl could hate Polly because she still thinks Polly killed Jason and wants to exact her own revenge on Polly. 

So Clifford sent Hiram to jail and that makes Hiram a suspect. But does this mean Hiram is really innocent? Or that Clifford just exposed his guilty ass?

Bughead and Alice

BETTY LOOKING AT JUGGIE TO INVITE HER MOM TO THE BLUE AND GOLD!

*SON-IN-LAW MODE ACTIVATED*

BLUE AND GOLD HAS A HIGHER ANNUAL OPERATING BUDGET THAN THE REGISTER? IS THAT POSSIBLE?

BUGHEAD BUGHEAD BUGHEAD

*SCREAMING*

BYE

ETA:

The last scene with Bughead realizing Hiram Lodge could be a suspect, Archie looking on clueless, while Betty and Jughead go back and forth completing each other’s sentences - OMG they’re so fucking attuned to each other!!

They have Hermione Lodge, the Blossoms, The Coopers, Hiram Lodge and Reggie Mantle (???? Why??) as probable suspects already. Why is FP Jones not on the murder board???? Because they don’t know about the jacket? 

THE PROMO FOR 110

JUGHEAD LOOKING UPSET AT THE MENTION OF A BIRTHDAY PARTY (MAYBE HE HASN’T HAD ONE IN FOREVER BCOS OF HIS DAD OR SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED AT THE LAST PARTY HE HAD AND HE DECIDED NEVER TO HAVE ONE BCOS IT BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIES? *SOBBING*)

BURGER CAKE

BETTY IN A CROWN SWEATER

BUGHEAD ADORING LOOKS

ETHEL LOOKING SHADY AF

CHUCK CLAYTON GETTING SLAPPED BY BETTY

JUGGIE PUNCHING CHUCK

JUGGIE BRUISED ON HIS FACE (WHO’S A BRUISER NOW, MOOSE?)

RONNIE LOOKING UP WORRIEDLY (IS SOMEONE UPSTAIRS IN THE ROOM?)

SOMEONE IN A WHITE FUR COAT UNLOCKING (OR LOCKING) A DOOR - CHERYL?

ARCHIE AND RONNIE MAKING OUT

EVERYONE IS WASTED

WTF is happening?

[mild-lunacy]

Here be Dragons (and S4)

Soooo... my thoughts. Let me show you them.

So I’ve watched it, and my coconspirators were... less than impressed. I can only imagine what fandom’s like right now (noooo, don’t tell me.) Anyway, things out of the way: I enjoyed it. Quite a bit! Loooove the plot of TLD, some of the best stuff in any season. Wonderful mindfuckery. Awesome creepy villain. Devoted bab yet badass Sherlock. Great action scenes. A lot of Angst(tm). And (I’m sure) a lot of people reevaluating everything they ever knew-- about John, Mary, the Holmes brothers, possibly Sherlock, etc etc. Just as bad as we thought, eh? Except not in the way we thought... except I guess for Mary being Birdy-like. That’s definitely there... though I’m still not sure we’ve seen the whole story.

Anyway, TST:

Love the intro reel of case scenes and Sherlock acting like a brat at all times.

Was horrified (and pissed) when Sherlock told John he preferred Mary as partner. Seemed Wrong with a capital W, even if correct on its merits. That was Not A Good Sign. But then John eventually just accepts it and tells Mary to go first (even worse sign).

Jesus Christ, that John!balloon. Oh John. Yikes? Also wow.

Overall, pushing Mary into an investigating threesome was just so wrong and bad and painful. But necessary to demonstrate how good it... isn’t. Also, John wasn’t so happy with that, and the whole Sherlock+Mary investigations thing doesn’t really work ‘cause while Sherlock wants a partner, Mary... doesn’t. In fact she runs out of the country *just* to stop Sherlock from being her partner, more or less. And then he follows anyway. It was a bit cringey, honestly.

Anyway, AGRA = a whole team is a great surprise. Employment by Mycroft foreshadowed in TAB! (Look in TAB! TAB shall save you! Remember the waterfall scene!)

Thought the way they handled the unhappy marriage to be really interesting and subtle (splitting the Antichrist scene in half). John lying, etc (though... as we find out next ep, not all is as it seems! but from John’s pov, he really did want to cheat and he did, to some extent). So basically, they both didn’t want the baby, and John wasn’t any happier than he ever was. Established.

They did banter just a bit about Rosie’s evilness, but this was then contrasted with John using that opportunity (and any opportunity) to disconnect. The intimacy was a sham.

Do I think John’s lie and Mary’s lies were *equivalent*? No. Was it all All Mary’s Fault? Also no, clearly. Set up for guilt.

As I said, Sherlock was clearly way too obsessed with keeping the vow, which Mary didn’t even seem to want. Of course not. But very heroic of him. She doesn’t want Sherlock to save her, unlike the way Sherlock and John are. Saving someone is something one has to *want*. It can’t-- shouldn’t-- be forced. Another Not So Good Sign.

I love Sherlock fighting the guy in the water hardcore. I really wanted badass Sherlock, and got him. Take that, unbelievers! haha

Sherlock’s problem is his cockiness about his mental prowess. So... he makes the same mistake again! But this time he (finally) learns, as he tells Mrs Hudson about Norbury. But it’s too late... or is it?

I’m not as horrified at Mary’s Birdy-ness as some, I’m sure. It was always an option. This is consistent in terms of Moffat’s style, and insofar as I never thought Mary was like, Moriarty material in the first place. She’s just a rogue agent. And she quit because she wanted some peace and quiet. She also kinda misses her work and wishes Sherlock would stop ‘helping’ (I mean, she even shot him to prove that point, from her pov). This was always canon. It remained canon, more or less. Am I that disappointed? No. It just means there was a reason the surface narrative existed.

I was just happy Mary was dead. Finally! Finally! gaaaah.

Do I think Mary’s throwing herself in front of Sherlock worked? Yes and no.

Yes, because I can see it balancing. They had to get rid of that storyline somehow, and it *was* imbalanced. If she’s not gonna go full evil, then you need some kinda atonement. Amanda said early on she wanted to die in John’s arms. So far, so predictable.

No, because I’m still not sure *why* she did it. Like, okay, I believe she always liked Sherlock, and felt a bit sorry, but sacrificing yourself doesn’t seem like Mary’s... thing. So... jury’s still out. John’s response, ditto.

Amanda’s performance as Mary at the end and/or the writing was kinda iffy. I didn’t really find it believable, but it’s not a deal-breaker. I am kinda confused, though.

I *will* say that the growling and lashing out seemed over-the-top. More like rage than grief, so it’s not really comparable to Reichenbach. Saying he mourned ‘more’ isn’t as relevant as saying it’s just *different*. He made Mary’s death about Sherlock, even if in terms of fault. Somehow it was about Sherlock (even though he later acknowledges that it was Mary’s choice in TLD... indirectly confirming that he’s irrational). Seems silly to really compare. The response is pretty different, and completely irrational. He thinks Sherlock’s literally superhuman, and that belief has finally come home to bite both John and Sherlock on the ass, big time.

*Given* that’s what John believes, though, his later avoidance and extreme (apparently semi-psychotic?? or otherwise facilitated?) break makes sense. As for Mary and Mrs Hudson and Molly all acting as go-betweens, that’s par for the course (same for Irene... the women are always the conduits, and so Mary serves that function even unto death).

There’s a plot thing going on. I dunno *what* plot thing, but some things are not as they seem, and I cannot tell you what I think of John’s behavior without knowing what mindfuck we’re dealing with. Speaking of Moffat’s style, the one thing I feel sure of is that ‘our’ John’s devoted to Sherlock. That is a central truth, and I mean outside of the canon Johnlock thing. Still, I can see John breaking because of guilt and rage and just... everything, and needing to be saved. I can also see Mary predicting this, and knowing that John can always be counted upon to help, to save Sherlock Holmes. She was there at the wedding speech. And it’s true that John wouldn’t accept help. So... John hits rock bottom, loses himself, starts hallucinating (as does Sherlock-- but Sherlock does drugs). We don’t really know what John does. But I believe he acts the way he does for a reason, and even the hallucination thing must have a reason, especially in an ep where there’s lots of mind-altering drugs floating around and reality’s not super firm.

So I’m not super certain what Really Happened. I wouldn’t go so far as to say TLD wasn’t ‘real’. I think the plot happened. I just think we don’t know  *everything* and things are deceiving. I also think that the waterfall scene (’there’s always two of us’) is gospel in terms of representing the center of how Moffat and Gatiss think. So the fact that it’s both threatened and highlighted in TLD-- John needs to save Sherlock, Sherlock needs to save John, but neither quite succeeds-- should tell you that we’re not supposed to be satisfied. It’s quite obvious Sherlock didn’t save John-- John’s life is literally more in danger than ever before at the end of TLD. And John says he didn’t want to save Sherlock till Mary pushed him-- though Mary’s repeatedly said to be a part of his mind. A part that teases him about Sherlock, while John represses and avoids. John doesn’t think he’s Sherlock’s John-- but (as we saw with hard proof when Sherlock predicts his behavior early on), Sherlock demonstrably *knows* him. John doesn’t even think he’s Mary’s John-- he thinks Mary idealized him, and he’s not ‘that man’. So he’s lost all faith and doesn’t know who/what to believe. But again, neither do we-- we’re right where John is. My coconspirators have also lost faith, and don’t know what to believe anymore, along with John.

Something’s going on with the hallucinations, whether Sherrinford or Mary. But there’s got to be an explanation. Like for example, how is the paper real? Why did Sherrinford know all that stuff (or did she)? How did Sherlock seem to know about Mary, the specter at the wedding, so to speak? I don’t know, but I want to. Something really weird is going on.

The one thing I do know, the one thing I cannot doubt, is that John Watson always saves Sherlock Holmes (and vice versa). One suggests the other, as TLD states explicitly. So if they’re making us question it, they’ve definitely got something up their sleeve, as I said. This isn’t about canon Johnlock; John and Sherlock’s devotion is at the heart of their partnership. TAB is a great foreshadowing and/or set-up in that regard. We know that when John acted callous and uncaring at the grave site, this wasn’t the real John. That was only two eps ago. So... yeah. 

More thoughts on TLD:

What a mindfuck! It’s glorious. So tight, so well-plotted. Just really wonderful. The whole critique that begs itself is that John’s not John-like, but then you have TAB and that cliffhanger. So... to be continued.

The whole set-up of the confession that’s set up to be forgotten is really ingenious. The cereal killer stuff is amazing. They just had so much fun with the plotting here, and it shows. My fave villain besides Moriarty. Genuinely creepy and fun. Both traumatizing and fun in the old-school evil sense. It’s great.

The way Mrs Hudson shows up with Sherlock in tow, her having that crazy car and owning property in central London, Sherlock predicting everything John does (including Molly) two weeks away... Jesus. That was amazing. Mrs. Hudson is amazing.

I’m here to tell you I was immediately irritated by Sherrinford. Yeah, even on the bus (seemed weirdly fake and pushy!) and then like, you know, that’s a weirdly fake and pushy psychologist, too. Acting a bit like TEH Mary, actually.

Everything’s a series of lies, no less than TAB, except the stakes are higher. Sherrinford’s a prime example of a character who’s constantly twisting and changing, like ripples in a pond. Really really well done. The initial scene at Baker Street with Sherlock was so great as characterization. ‘Fuck off’. ‘Bollocks’. Sherlock being pouty. It’s just so painful, too. God, that whole scene was killer, so painful it’s exquisite.

Poor Sherlock. Babs. :( He misses him so much. :(

Also, we were right! Take heart, we’re right about the things that count, and also: Mofftiss are liars. Sherrinford says Sherlock’s so nice, and then of course Mrs Hudson says Sherlock feels things, operates on feeling. I just. Wah. Also, Sherlock really is nice. I was really touched.

Sherlock being so willing to believe he just made up his meeting with Sherrinford, like... boy thinks he literally has magical powers, haha.

The joke (”joke”) about Sherlock and/or Mycroft dying in weeks also foreshadowed in TAB.

John beating up Sherlock at the morgue was brutal though. Jury’s still out on a lot of things, however. Some weird stuff was happening in that scene, ‘cause this is after that whole episode of losing it after thinking of Sherrinford, weird camerawork, time-skip forward to Lestrade and so on.

I know that a lot of things about surface HLV have been seemingly proven real... but even there, I’m not totally sure. This show is amazing. I do think we know that Sherlock somehow convinced himself he trusted Mary. We also never see John reject Mary to the degree he rejected Sherlock, in large part ‘cause Sherlock went out of his way to prevent that. Still, HLV didn’t have this much drugs floating around.

I kinda love the plot resolution, I have to say. The recorder in the cane is interesting tho. Was John in on it? Did Sherlock put it in afterwards? I dunno, don’t ask me, I just work here. I will say that Something is going on, and parts of the set-up (working partly with and partly without John) reminds me of TRF.

Here be Dragons: John and Sherlock’s conversation at Baker Street, and Sherrinford. We pretty much know nothing about Sherrinford except that this casts parts of John’s characterization/behavior in TST into doubt. He was obviously being manipulated, to some degree. To what degree, I don’t know.

The conversation is obviously yet more heterobaiting. *Is* it obvious? Well, it’s not usual. It’s the sort of thing we’ve seen before. Is it painful anyway? Yes.

Great to see Sherlock move to comfort John, though. He’s definitely progressed and grown a lot.

John’s whole thing about not being Mary’s John, his lost faith in himself, his insistence that Sherlock needs a woman... I just can’t take it at face value. Call me naive. The whole thing rings hollow. It’s not the whole story, certainly. Can I imagine John saying this at the end of his rope, though? I mean, he even cried. Very confused. (Funny how Sherlock sort of awkwardly tiptoed about the whole Irene thing). John’s clearly still breaking. Still unsaved. Go on, Sherlock. Save John Watson. It really is (almost certainly) the real Final Problem.