#i threw the lists in a randomizer to try to hide who I romanced/plan to romance with them

[tadbitfooled]

ship bias

Send ‘Ship Bias’ and I will share up to 5 Ships I have a bias for for my muse!

I shall give for all 4 of my mains with either a detailed explanation or a really vague shallow reason, in no particular order

Durante Faust

Lae'zel - because he needs a tough lady to top him I mean. Uh. I just think the whole opposite things with him being a silly avoiding responsibilities kind of guy and her super serious, very responsible-ness would be a fun balance.

Rolan just because Durante flustering him sounds fun

now for a type of character, he would need someone with a firm hand but not a tight grip, someone forward and sure of themself, but also able to have fun and play around a little bit.

Wyll - just because Durante seems to be the type to play romance but be keen to avoid it, but I think Wyll could break that because he's so damn charming

Karlach - Could be cute. They would have fun together and once again, lady to top him. But I think it could be an interesting dynamic to say the least.

Gwenifar van Hol

Oh, someone who's super flirty and charming because she does not ever get the hint that someone's flirting with her because she just...Doesn't register the idea someone could find her attractive. And they just keep trying and she just thinks they're being nice it'd be hilarious.

Halsin - I feel like Halsin would appreciate how she does so much to help others. And Gwenifar would appreciate his wisdom and his whittling. She likes to paint so it'd be cute if he whittled figurines and she painted them.

Gale because sage4sage nerd bullshit. But also I think they'd just be super soft and cute, and the sheer irony of cleric healer with a god who values all life x wizard with a chronic pain condition whose goddess told him to blow himself up is great.

Shadowheart - I have no exact reason but they vibe really well in the game and I think Shadowheart having someone who's supportive but also able to say 'hey you need to think this through' is really good for her.

Um for spice reasons because of Ilmater vs Loviatar stuff...Someone involved in Loviatar like Abdirak...idk like. spice.

Talilah Bluethorn

A drow would be fucking hilarious her father would have an aneurism but don't be like. An overly cruel drow or something. A little nerd drow would be fantastic.

Alfira and her girlfriend, Lakrissa because they'd all be adorable and make a really nice cuddle pile thanks

An arranged set up would be hilarious due to her father's bloodline. She would not be interested in it at all and it'd be funny if they weren't too and both tried to sneak out of the event, helped each other, and then one of the elders is like 'oh so great you two met' and they're like 'what.'

Wyll because folk hero and Talilah has that heroic background with what her entertaining troupe would do (steal from the rich, give to the poor) and just they would have such a fun dynamic with his charm and romantic attitude and how she could match that with some playfulness.

Astarion because I really enjoy the thought of them finding each other annoying when they first meet because he held a knife to her throat and she headbutted him, but then they like each other's humor and find each other attractive and eventually go 'uh feelings have been caught.'

Tavinkas

Shadowheart - amnesia buddies. They're both struggling with abusive gods and trying to figure themselves out so it would be a mutual situation, with being able to give each other the push they need to get on the path they need to be on.

Wyll - look. He's charming, heroic, but also needs support but is fully capable of giving support back. Sure, he needs a few wake up calls to his situation but he would be so gentle with Tavinkas and gods know that's what he so desperately needs.

Someone just able to be gentle and supportive. He desperately wants to have gentleness in his life, as it was never something he was allowed to have.

I want the angst of Gortash and Durge thanks. They've both been dealt bad hands and Gortash just went with it but Tavinkas decides to find a new path and leave him behind. Just drive that dagger in.

Gale because Tavinkas does like intelligent conversation and learning things and I think Gale would be very good for that. Tavinkas is skilled in magic but I think he'd like to learn the finer points of it and Gale would be delighted to discuss it.

[lesbianlotties]

FS prompt :) Deena's like lesbian catnip for every closeted girl within a 50 mile radius. She's completely oblivious, too. Sam, however, is pretty amused by it... and completely not jealous (ok, maybe a little jealous).

Sam Fraser was not a jealous person.

But every person has a limit.

It seems that every day there is a new girl attracted to Deena. Even if Deena is oblivious to all of it, Sam isn't. She might get a tiny little bit jealous sometimes.

Read on AO3

Shadyside was a relatively small town. And not the kindest one at that either. Gossip traveled fast in Shadyside. It didn’t come as a surprise that most people that were at least remotely aware of Deena’s existence also knew she was a lesbian. Something else that didn’t come as a surprise to anyone but Sam, was that the same couldn’t be said about her. Usually, people were shocked to find out Sam was a lesbian. Most of the time she didn’t mind, but there were only so many times she could stand being called Deena’s “best friend” when they were literally holding hands. One woman once had the nerve to call them sisters, and Kate swore she would never stop making fun of them for it.

Sam didn’t mind that random strangers didn’t recognize her immediately as Deena’s girlfriend. But then… well, there were other kinds of people.

It was impressive, really, the number of closeted girls that lived in Shadyside and neighboring towns. Even more impressive was the way they all seemed to possess a sixth sense to know where to find Deena, and a fantastic talent to completely ignore Sam’s presence. Sam didn’t blame them… entirely. She understood them. She had been in their place. Eyes hopelessly following every move of Deena, overthinking everything she said and the way she walked, paralyzed by fear at times and ready to risk it all for one girl the rest of the time. But Sam did take the risk, and she did it first , so all those girls had no right to even hope Deena would notice them because Deena was already taken and… Sam Fraser was not a jealous person, she liked to tell herself.

Deena, at least, seemed to be completely oblivious of the flock of star-struck girls that chased her wherever she went. She seemed to be the only one who didn’t notice though.

One day, the two of them were together at B Dalton’s, the bookstore. Deena decided to take a break from lovingly making fun of Sam’s taste in horror books above everything else and started wandering a different aisle of the store. It was a slow day though, the shop was far from crowded with only a couple of clients there. So, Sam started gathering all her patience the minute she heard someone say, “Oh! Hi! You, um, you’re Deena, right?”

Sam kept her distance because she was totally not a jealous person. She was just amused. She couldn’t avoid overhearing the entire conversation though. The girl asked for book recommendations and Deena literally listed Sam’s favorites books. The girl tried to talk to her about romance books and Deena flat out said she wasn’t interested in them. It was almost tragic.

When they made their way to the register, Heather managed to hold back her laughter enough to playfully purse her lips and bat her eyelashes at Deena and say, “Would you give me a book recommendation too?” Sam laughed, rolled her eyes, and held Deena’s hand just a little tighter on their way out of the store.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” Sam replied in a high-pitched tone that wasn’t very convincing. “That’s adorable, actually.”

Josh nodded, and the two of them continued to stand there awkwardly beside Deena’s car. They were watching as two of Josh’s classmates tried their absolute hardest to make Deena fall madly in love with them during a two-minute conversation in the school’s parking lot.

“No, I don’t think I’d be a good drum teacher, honestly,” Deena was saying. She shrugged, she had her hands buried in the jacket’s pockets, she looked like she was trying to disappear into it. “My hair? Uh, I just… use shampoo, I guess?”

Sam chuckled. She wasn’t jealous at all. If anything she admired the younger girls making an attempt when they didn’t stand a chance. Besides, she was the one who knew Deena’s entire haircare routine. Her respect for them was abruptly cut short when the girls managed to pull Deena’s hands off her jacket to compare their hands’ sizes. A second later, both girls and Deena were jumping in place, startled by the sudden and too loud sound of the car’s horn. Sam didn’t even try to hide her sly smile.

Sam swore again and again that she wasn’t a jealous person. But was it too much to ask that they could go to the store without Deena being hit on by hopeless girls?

This time it was a new cashier. To make things worse, for Sam at least, Simon was training the new girl, and definitely having a little too much fun with the scene in front of him.

“You make really good choices,” the lovestruck cashier was complimenting a truly unimpressive assortment of groceries on discount. “I could give you some recommendations if you’d like.”

“Yeah sure,” Deena mumbled, completely unaware of what she was agreeing to. She wasn’t even looking at the girl, she had all her focus on the bills in her hands, trying to make the math about how much she had left.

A step beside Deena, Sam was standing there, not completely frowning, but…

“This is for you,” Simon said, passing Sam a plastic bag. “For all that jealousy on your face.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Very funny,” she told him, snatching the bag off his hands.

She wasn’t jealous, she really wasn’t. She had no reason to be. She was the one carrying Deena’s groceries back to the car and kissing her in every red light on their way home. Plus, nobody needed to find out that from that moment on, Sam would make them stall or hurry up their shopping depending on which cashier was available.

Sam didn’t even want to use the J word again. That was a feeling she simply didn’t experience. But she could get a little annoyed, right? She could have some questions. Like how was it possible that another one of the cheerleaders hadn’t noticed she was dating Deena? Why on Earth would Kate introduce her to Deena? Could Deena really be that oblivious?

“Don’t be jealous, Samantha,” Kate said.

“Don’t call me that,” Sam replied. “And I’m not jealous! That is just sad.” She gestured in the general direction of the cheerleader twirling her hair on her finger in front of Deena.

“It worked for you though,” Kate noted. Then she reached out to hold Sam back from marching forward to reclaim her girlfriend. “Calm down, Sam. That girl could drop her skirt right then and there and Deena wouldn’t notice. She only has eyes for you. It’s gross.”

A small smile appeared on Sam's face. “I’m going to let that one fall during our next routine,” she said.

Kate threw her head back laughing. Then she was merciful enough to drag away the other cheerleader before Deena had to repeat again that “It’s actually cold tonight so no, I’m not hot in my uniform.” As much as it bothered her, Sam definitely agreed with that other girl about Deena in her uniform.

Sam Fraser was not a jealous person. She repeated that like a mantra so often, and she restrained herself from acting jealous so faithfully, all because she knew that someday someone would cross the line. Of course it would be someone from Sunnyvale.

It was another football match in Sunnyvale. Sam and Deena had a routine, a plan that never failed them, to meet behind the bleachers when nobody would notice. One time Sam arrived a little late and there was already a Sunnyvale cheerleader trying to get Deena all to herself.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sam whispered to herself as she observed the scene from a safe distance away.

Deena was taking a step back from the girl invading her personal space. “Oh. Hey,” Deena cleared her throat. As much as she was known for a somewhat ruthless personality, she’d never known quite how to turn a girl away from her. “I’m, uh, actually waiting for someone.”

“You sure you weren’t waiting for me?” the Sunnyvaler insisted, stepping even closer.

Deena laughed awkwardly and took off her band hat to hold it between them as a sort of shield. The hat, of course, ended up falling to the ground. The stranger leaned down to pick it up, surely planning to pull off some great move that would totally sweep the Shadyside drummer off her lesbian feet. Of course, she didn’t expect to look up and find said Shadysider’s girlfriend standing there with a grin too treacherous for an otherwise very sweet face.

“Thank you so much,” Sam told her, taking the hat off the girl’s hands. “You can leave now.”

Sam didn’t wait for an answer before turning around and slowly but confidently pushing her girlfriend backward until Deena’s back hit the wall. Sam started kissing Deena without sparing a single second to check if the other girl had walked away at all.

After a moment of gladly accepting Sam’s fierce kisses, Deena’s brain caught up with what had just happened and she pulled back. “Whoa, Sam, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, quickly diving back for another kiss.

“ Sam. ”

After Deena pulled back a second time, Sam scoffed. “I’m sorry, did you want to invite her?”

They knew each other well enough to know what was going on and how to deal with it. Deena knew exactly when to be concerned about her girlfriend’s temper and when to smirk at her and further push her buttons. “Sam,” Deena said her name softly and held her even closer, smiling at the precious frown on Sam’s face. “Are you… jealous?”

“You know what?” Sam sighed deeply, melting in Deena’s arms. “Yeah, a little.”

Deen chuckled adoringly, and placed a small kiss on the corner of Sam’s lips. “You don’t have to be.”

“I know,” Sam interrupted her. She was back to smiling brightly, genuinely. They were back to feeling like they were the only two people in the town, the only people in the entire world. “Just kiss me again so I can be sure,” Sam whispered the playful request, closing the gap between them once more, enjoying the way she could feel Deena smiling as they kissed.

[alaricstories]

How some BNHA girls is your secret admirer!

Request: Hey! I know you just made the "How some BNHA boys is your secret admirer!" (and I love it!!!) So-  if you have time- I just wanted to request that with some girls? (Momo, Mina, and Jirou - Best girls!!) And have fun with it of course!

Thank you so much @ilovemha06 for this lovely request!

Of course! I loved to write those about the boys! I got to it as soon as I saw it. It took some time, but I tried to make it worth it. I hope this is what you asked for hehe- Anything else on your mind- I will try to write it!

YAOYOROZU MOMO

(You love reading in this- Momo is one of mah girls! I love books and I can just picturing her doing this!)

You were almost at the end of your book series, "The Raven Cycle." (Beautiful series, by the way!) You drowned in the incredible writing. The storyline just sucked you up. You wanted to know the end!

As you waited to come close to the end of the book, you realized the time. 02.21 A.M! You had school tomorrow! You threw the book out of your grip and forgot to mark the place you left your eyes. How stupid of you-

The next day you couldn't stop talking about how stupid you were for leaving that spot. You slammed your hand in your head a few times before Jirou had to make you stop. It was not the first time you had forgot- but that's too embarrassing to say out loud.

Probably the whole class heard you, and you had some teasing her and there. But you didn't want to stop reading, you wanted to continue where you left- but then you had to look. That takes to much energy!

You decide to place the book on the table in your room. Just leave it there for a while. But the feeling of curiosity with a hint of guilt building up in your stomach, you couldn't shake it away.

You stared at the book on the shelf and took it out eventually. You opened the book. Starting at a random page close to the end, you began to read. 

Suddenly you hear the sound of something sliding down the papers. As you look down, you see this paper note almost leaving the book.

You quickly put a finger in between and open the page. The note said, "I think from your description, you left here?".

You scan the page as you remember you left it in the middle, yes. You began to read the feeling of curiosity becoming too overwhelming. You needed to know the end!

The satisfying sound left your breath as you told your friends about it. That went about for a long time; reading and receiving notes in the books your reading. Compliments and sweet nothings were left on the notes. You loved it!

Suddenly Momo stands in front of your door, handing out a book for you. "Lady in the Lake" by Laura Lippman. The book you had wanted to buy for a long time. You could never repay her for this! Or so you thought-

You opened the book on page one, seeing a note sticking in front of the text. No way! Same handwriting, same pen color- there's no way?! You could feel the romance in your body rice as you read the question:

"Will you meet me outside of the school? 6.30 P.M.

                                                 - Momo Yaoyorozu."

ASHIDO MINA

(You love musicals in this one hehe-)

You had watched different musicals with your mother when you were little. You wanted to watch them over and over and hooked on them you were! You loved the way the songs fit perfectly into the storyline, and you played the songs over and over again. 

You can't decide which was better at this point; the music, the dancing, or the storyline! You loved it all!

Class 1-A didn't understand why? Some of them liked it, some not. But you couldn't stop the feeling of rushing music through your veins. You wanted to be in one musical!

You had a somewhat good voice, but you were to shy to show it to people. Your dancing was decent but could have some improvement. Your acting was awful tho! The only thing you were good at was smile and act very happy.

So you could imagine the look you made when you find a musical movie laying in front of your door. You hadn't watched this one yet, and now you got the chance- but you checked with the class that it didn't belong to anyone, you borrowed it. Secret?

More starting to pop up now and then with small hearts and love quotes on them. Either with a red marker or a note taped. Not Sero's tape tho so it couldn't be him.

You realized that the movies that were brought to you, was never asked for or you hadn't watched it. Now you did mention the few movies you hadn't watched, to some people- so you had removed some from your "Who is it?" list. 

You couldn't point out who it was so they were good at hiding it from you.

The last movie that was at your door didn't have a disk. Just a note inside that said, "Follow the movies first word on the back!".

Outside. Outside? Were you supposed to go outside now? You did end up going out tho. Looking around, you found an umbrella at the front gate. You didn't think much of it until you saw another further away. You followed.

The shock and the heat in your body hit you as you watched the scene in front of you. Four of your classmates spread up the umbrellas they had and spelled a sentence painted in white.

Mina stood there in the middle with a lot of flowers in her hands. She walked up to you wearing the outfit of Gene Kelly in your favorite musical, "Singin' in the rain."

She took your hand as you read that the umbrellas spelled:

"You" ... "Me" ... "Lunch" ... "Together?"

JIRO KIYOKA

MUSICAAAAAA!

You had always had a passion for music. You loved it! More you liked producing it! The beat and the bass was your ground, what made you love this so much. You just wanted to blast anything away with high bass!

Many knew that, and you had taught some people the basics in making music on your own. Starting learning from using stuff at home to an app on the computer, it was easy learning away.

Soon after teaching, you had received a small plastic CD-disk with a love note on it? You meant it was that, but maybe it was a part of the song lyrics?

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed. Soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals a heart, and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul. Just like you, Y/n."

A love note. Who would make you this, sneak into your room, and then leave just to make some love to your heart? A Person who knew what they were doing.

Their music taste was flawless! Beautiful bass sounds and guitar play as it reminded you of a sunflower field. The summer flavor and the warm weather was perfect in a way you never knew was possible.

You wanted more, and you got more. More soundtracks with more quotes and small love confessions on them, you craved for it. Music to your ears, literally!

The thought never crossed your mind that this looked a lot like a secret admirer. Ashido had to get your ass to work to find out who it was. You were just a nervous wreck whenever she mentioned it.

You already had a crush, you didn't want to hurt the admirer's feelings if it turned out to not be the same person. It could be the same- IT COULD BE THE FRICKING SAME PERSON!!!

You didn't come out of your room for a few minutes as you tried to calm down the blood rushing through your existing veins. What the heck were you supposed to do?!

You freaked out, not wanting to look anyone in their eyes.

Then your door opened slowly. It was Kiyoka. She sat next to your body, looking down while laughing at your situation. She had known about your love for her for a while now. So the reason she did this was to try and return those feelings in a rocky, romantic way.

It worked tho. Cause the face you made after she said her sentence was clear, for her that the plan had worked out perfectly.

"Do you want to listen to my tracks again?"

[logical-little-lies]

Soft Kisses in The Kitchen-Little Vlogs (chapter 3)

Tag list: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @lgbtqiaemo @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43

chapter summary: After a few weeks on being friends, the four are comfortable with each other. After a stressful week at work, Roman and Virgil decide to spend their weekend off work at Patton's. Some romance plays out as a certain boy realizes all four of them were beginning to fall for one another.

--

Virgil walked out of the Hot Topic, looking around for his boyfriend and Logan. He found them conversing, walking his way from the bookshop. They fell into a routine, Logan picked them up and dropped them off, somedays Roman did. Either way, Virgil just ended up riding along with whatever car was getting him to and from work. Today though, Roman and Virgil had ridden with Logan, so he was also dropping them off.

"Roman!" Virgil threw himself into Roman's arms, hugging him tightly.

"Hey there, my emo disaster," he chuckled, kissing his forehead. Roman caught Logan glancing at Virgil, seemingly admiring him. "Don't you gotta boyfriend, you Flirty Dork?" he teased.

Logan blushed lightly in sync with Virgil, whose heart exploded at the idea of Logan looking at him in a romantic sense. At this point, their hangouts were full of Roman and Logan flirting, Virgil admiring Logan (and for some reason, he couldn't get Patton out of his head), and Patton cuddling everyone. Unknowingly, all the boys were developing feelings for each other.

"I'm poly," he muttered lightly. Virgil could practically feel Roman's want to break out into a victory dance, but Roman restrained himself from acting that dorky in front of his freckle-faced crush.

"Gay and poly..noted," Roman gave a wink to Logan, but it was so quick that the intelligent and professional man had no idea if it actually happened.

"Hey, gay disaster number 1 and 2, I want to get out of here before I literally die of boredom," Virgil snapped his fingers to get Logan and Roman to stop their very gay flirting. Logan looked towards Virgil, giving him an indecipherable look.

"Emo and sassy...noted," he hummed, and Virgil gasped, going quiet.

"So," Roman stepped off the sidewalk and began leading the other two through the parking lot. "Me and Logan were talking-"

The intelligent man in question corrected him, "Logan and I."

"Irrelevant. We were talking, and were thinking. If you're okay with it, why don't we spend this weekend at Patton's?" Roman rested his hand on Logan's car door handle, waiting for the 'beep' to let him know that it was unlocked.

"I don't have an issue with that. I have this weekend off, we got a new worker, some teenager whose barely old enough to apply for a job. So if it works out, I won't have to work on weekends," Virgil climbed into the back seat, Roman doing a dramatic 'whoop! whoop!'.

Logan and Roman got in, both of them buckling their seat belts. "Seat belt, baby," Roman reminded lightly, and Virgil was quick to listen to his instructions.

"So, we'll head over to your place to get whatever you guys need to sleepover, and then drive to my place," Logan decided. Logan and Roman organized this because Logan had this weekend off too, so for once, they were all free. But honestly, sleepovers even with work the next day were becoming semi-normal. It had been about a month since Virgil met Patton in person, and they had all been hanging out nonstop.

'papa..kinda feel small.'

Virgil was to shy to say it out loud, quietly messaging Patton as Logan drove towards their apartment complex.

'Make sure you let Roman know, grab your little stuff!! We've been irls for a month, and I still haven't seen little you in person!'

Virgil giggled lightly, "What'cha laughing at, Vee?" Roman asked. Virgil shook his head lightly,

"Nothing. M' fine," he tried to keep his voice level, making his absolute best effort to sound big. Roman nodded, but seemed suspicious.

'to shy, don't wanna. I'll stay big!'

Virgil listened to Logan and Roman converse about their job, throwing in some flirty comments here and there. He felt his phone buzz lightly in his lap a few minutes later. They were only a few streets away from their apartment now.

'Now, little one, that isn't a good idea! You haven't been small in a few weeks, and when you have it's only for a little bit. I know your worried you're gonna bother Roman, but I'm sure your dada won't mind!'

Virgil typed out a response, promising he'd tell Roman that he was regressing, but he still didn't say anything right away. "Okay, we'll be back," Virgil was snapped out of his thoughts when Roman opened his door. He realized that they were in the apartment parking lot.

He took Roman's hand, getting out and waving at Logan. Their apartment complex was set up simply, so locating and entering the building was easy. "Pack enough clothes for two nights, two days, and don't forget your hygienic stuff," Roman reminds, unlocking the door and letting Virgil in.  Virgil was quick to pack clothes, and the essentials. He purposely picked out his daytime clothes to be more childlike, hoping Roman would notice. His boyfriend, however, only glanced and ignored it.

Virgil sighed as Roman zipped up his bag, seemingly being able to pack his electronics, clothing, and everything else into one bookbag. "What's wrong, baby?" he looked at Virgil, shouldering his bag and coming closer. Virgil only whined in response, so Roman hugged him. "Don't think I didn't notice you were little, Vee. I was hoping you'd be able to say something and speak up for yourself, but you're anxious, I understand."

Virgil nodded, sniffling slightly. "None of that, there's no reason to cry," Roman assured wiping the tears of his face before reaching to Virgil's side of the bed, handing him his stuffed kitten. "Let's get some little stuff together, hmm?"

Virgil cheered up quickly, rummaging around the apartment and figuring out what little gear he'd need. One sippy cup, a stuffie, a pacifier, and a coloring book later, they had prepared for the sleepover. Virgil was speaking openly in his little voice before the exited the apartment, but when they got back in the car with Logan, he tried to talk big, hiding his face in his stuffie.

"Sorry we took so long, we had to grab little gear for the baby emo back there."

Virgil whined at his teasing, biting at his lip. His pacifier was in his bag, which Roman had set in his lap in the front. Logan played soft music through the aux cord into the radio as they drove, and it was only minutes before the little in the back seat fell asleep. "He takes naps very randomly when he regresses, sometimes in weird spots," Roman lightly chided.

Logan nodded, "Patton is so energetic, but it's adorable. He's never bratty, but when he is, it's because he's full of energy and forgets what rules even are," he chuckled to himself. "What are Virgil's rules?"

"Well, Patton and I have some random stuff. Like, bedtime by ten pm but that's always changing because of other things, listen to your carers, stuff like that. We've never, like, written them out though."

Logan made a turn, "You've never had a whole day where Virgil could be little, have you? He's never regressed long enough to break a rule, has he?"

Roman shook his head, "Virgil works all week. That's why I'm hoping this new worker stays and Virgil gets weekends off."

Logan and Roman continued talking, about work, about their littles, about the upcoming weekend. It wasn't long before they were in front of Patton's house, the the pastel-purple-haired boy in question was quick to run outside. Roman and Logan took the bags inside, while Patton woke Virgil.

"Hey, buddy, let's get up and go inside, hmm?" Patton lightly shook him, his eyes flying open. He felt around for his bear, which was nowhere in sight. "Hey, hey, don't panic. Roman took him inside for you," Virgil pouted in response to this. Patton chuckled, helping him out of the car, and taking his hand so that he didn't manage to hurt himself while going up the porch stairs.

Virgil ran to Roman, "Vani! Gimme Vani," he demanded in a toddler-like voice.

"Please, say please," Patton corrected, letting Logan lock the car before he shut the door and locked it behind him.

"Sorry papa! Please?" he tilted his head, and Roman chuckled, handing him the stuffed bear. Virgil found himself biting on the ear on the bear as he climbed onto the couch.

"ah-ah! No biting your stuffies," Logan jumped in, looking at Roman. "What bag has his little stuff?"

Roman zipped open one of Virgil's bags, pulling out the black adult pacifier. Virgil took it in his mouth quickly, pointing to his Nightmare Before Christmas sippy cup, whining lightly. "I know what you want, but I'm gonna need you to verbally ask, Vee." Roman knew he had trouble asking for something when he needed it, it was something he was trying to work with him on.

"Juice, please?"

"Of course, honey!" Patton took the sippy cup, "Grape, right?"

Virgil nodded with a light giggle, Patton disappearing into his kitchen. "So, Patton always films tons on the weekends, he plans all week and then films on the weekend. I don't know if he's still doing that or otherwise."

Logan began talking with Roman, but Virgil wanted Roman's attention. He made grabby-hands, grabbing the attention of his boyfriend and carer. "Cuddles! Cuddles!" he reached for Roman, who obliged and took his spot next to him on the couch.

Logan sat on the other side of Roman. "He's quite cute," Logan mumbled, blushing with wide eyes when he realized he said that out loud.

"It's okay," Roman assured, "Virgil and I are poly..so flirting is free grounds. I don't have an issue with it."

Logan nodded, still blushing lightly. Virgil had confirmed the fact he was poly with Roman, both of the boys admittedly crushed on Logan. And Roman thought Patton was cute in a 'you're-so-precious-I-wanna-protect-you' type of way, while Logan saw Virgil the same way. During all this, old feelings from high school were coming up for Patton, and Virgil was confused as to why he felt his heart speed up around Patton.

"Patton would kill me if he knew I told you, but he thinks you're cute. And he's had a crush on Virgil since forever, he's actually the main reason he realized he was poly. He had feeling for Virgil, but found himself able to like other people."

"They go well together, I will admit. But I don't know if Virgil likes him back or-"

"Look at this little Storm Cloud! He said that you two were talking grown up stuff, and he snuck into our kitchen," Patton came back into the living room, holding hands with the emo boy, who held his disney sippy cup.

"Sorry...Logan and I were talking and got distracted, I didn't even realize he left," Roman sighed, giving Logan a look that said 'this conversation isn't over'.

"I can let Virgil in my little room, he can play with any of my stuff, it'll keep him busy for a while," Patton offered, and Virgil nodded enthusiastically.

"That sounds good, we can make some snacks and then head up there, yeah?" Logan said. Patton nodded, giving him a look before leading Virgil up the stairs.

"So if I've thought about this correctly,then all of us are poly, right?" Logan asked, only a slight hesitancy in his voice as he got up and entered the kitchen. Roman followed him, feeling the weird nervousness in his stomach.

"Uh, yeah. Virgil didn't officially identify until recently when-" his eyes widened and he cut himself off. Logan smirked, opening a cabinet and grabbing a few plates.

"When both of you guys started crushing on me?" Logan gained a sudden burst of confidence, but he didn't face Roman to see his shocked face, he just continued preparing sandwiches and cookies for the two boys upstairs.

"I-uh..who said that?" Roman swallowed, his face quite red.

"The fact that both of you are extremely obvious and gay. Just so you know, you're cute too, Roman."

Roman was blushing, and there were a few moments of silence. "So..theoretically speaking, if all four of us were interested, would you be open to going out?"

"What do you mean?" Roman questioned.

Logan began spreading jelly on a slice of bread, "Like, a date. All four of us, we can go somewhere," he suggested. Roman was squealing inside of his head.

"If the other two are up for it, I'm definitely not against the idea. H-have you spoken to Patton about this?" Roman came close to Logan,leaning against the counter while he cut a sandwich into triangles, setting it on the dinosaur themed plate.

"Yeah, obviously. He likes you, and his old feeling for Virgil are coming back. They're best friends, but he's interested in something more. I think, we all should get to know each other, hmm?"

Roman nodded. "Is Virgil allowed to have chocolate chip cookies?" Logan asked, "I always make sure to give Patton a main thing, and then a cookie if he eats all of it."

Roman just nodded again, watching Logan set two cookies in between the sandwich slices, moving on to grab a bowl to make something for Patton. He settled on ouring a bag of chips for him and Roman, and prepared a similar plate to Virgil for Patton. "When Virgil's big, I'm sure Patton will offer the date-idea. I'm glad you're open to it," Logan smiled, making eye contact with Roman.

It wasn't uncomfortable though, both men smiled at each other. Roman felt something going off in his head, telling him this was wrong. That he was cheating on Vee somehow, but he had made sure to make it clear to Virgil that he was interested in Logan. They agreed that if there were any moves pulled, or they got the chance to do something, then they should go for it. Roman had full permission to do what he thought Logan was gonna do first.

"Patton's okay with this, right?" Roman mumbled, realizing their faces were closer now. When did they lean in?

Logan nodded, "Virgil, too?"

Roman nodded. And then they kissed. It was quick, sweet, and soft. It made both boys smile widely when they pulled away. Logan was the first to break eye contact, making a light coughing sound before handing Roman the bowl of chips. "We can do more of that on that date I mentioned," he said, causing Roman to blush lightly at the thought as he picked up the two plates.

Logan and Roman made a silent agreement to pretend the kiss didn't happen until Virgil was big and they could all talk about it.

But internally, both men were looking forward to the theoretical date. And not just for each other, Roman might've been originally attracted to Logan, but he found himself slowly crushing on Patton. Even when big, he was quite adorable, and Roman wanted to do nothing less than pull the precious boy into a hug and kiss him softly. And Logan? Logan wanted to hold Virgil close and whisper his worries away.

These idiots were all slowly falling for each other. Only time would tell how they would finally get together.

A/N: THE KISS WASN’T PLANNED OOPS, it just popped in my head and all I remember was ten minutes of keyboard clicking and suddenly I had written the gayest scene ever. I’m trying my best to not only focus on the agere aspect, but also the romance, these first chapters will continue to be romance-based until they all get together officially. after that, more agere stuff will ensue. Until then, enjoy they four disasters quickly falling for each other. also this is about 2500 words

Tag list: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @lgbtqiaemo @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43

I’m still figuring out this taglist stuff, so if you want added then lmk (ask, messages). I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

One Job

AKA: Jester caught wind that someone in the Nein has a crush on her and who better to help her figure out who it is than her detective partner Nott? Surely Nott isn’t secretly the only person who knows who it is. 

Read it on AO3 lmao

It had been a beautiful day. Calm, peaceful, exactly what Nott and the rest of the Mighty Nein needed after the chaotic weeks they’d had. They’d been on the Balleater for a few days now, heading out to where the peace talks between Dwendal and the Bright Queen would take place, and the break before that happened could not have been more welcome.

Nott had been enjoying it, about as much as she could enjoy being on a wooden death trap surrounded by water. It was peaceful, at least, and she could stay below the deck (but close enough to the surface that she could run if a leak appeared) and relax.

Then Jester quite literally kicked the door open.

“Nott holy fuck!” Jester was seemingly unperturbed by the ensuing screeching, closing the door gently behind her before running up to where Nott had been organising her vials. “Nott, you’ll never believe it!”

“Shit, Jester, you nearly gave me a heart attack-” Nott had a hand over her chest, breathing deeply. “Is someone dead?”

“What? No! Of course not.” Jester rolled her eyes like she was stupid, just because she’d nearly kicked the door off its hinges completely was no reason to think something bad had happened, jeez Nott. “But I found out something totally crazy.”

Nott narrowed her eyes, looking around and half expecting something to pop out. Jester had really been going crazy on the pranks lately in preparation for Travellercon, thinking up and testing out all sorts of jokes and surprises on them.

Nothing happened, so she looked back to Jester, who was bouncing on her toes. “What is it?”

Well-” Jester’s hands were in fists, held loosely in front of her like she was preparing to cheer. “I was talking to the Traveller and he told me that he’d heard that someone in the Nein actually has a crush on me~”

Nott froze, staring. “What?”

“Yeah, I know, right? And he said that he wasn’t sure exactly who it was but I think he might be lying and he just doesn’t want to tell me right away because it should be a surprise but he’s very observant you know, and he’s hanging out a lot so he’s seen stuff so he would totally know, right?” Jester spoke even faster than she usually did before suddenly hesitating. “Wait, are you the one with a crush on me?”

“Me?” Nott stammered, almost dropping the vials she was holding. “No! I mean, you’re very cute, and awesome, obviously, but I don’t- I don’t like you like that. I’m married!”

“Right! That’s what I thought!” Jester turned away, pacing in a small circle while Nott put her vials down before they broke or she had an actual heart attack and dropped them. “But then who is it?”

“I have no idea!” Nott smiled widely in the picture of over-exaggerated innocence, but luckily Jester wasn’t looking at her.

“We have to find out!”

“What?”

Jester spun around again to look at her, a smile splitting her face. “It’s a mystery!”

“What?”

“And who better to help me solve it than my detective partner!”

“W h a t?”

“It will be fun! We’ll figure it out together!” Jester continued, before gasping. “I’ll go get my things! Then we can devise a plan!”

She promptly darted out of the room, leaving Nott by herself again, but no longer relaxed. Oh god.

Jester knew, or at least thought she knew, that someone in the Nein had a crush on her. And she had asked the one person who knew who had a crush on her to help her figure it out.

Beau could not have been more clear that she didn't want anyone to know. Especially Jester herself. They were on a boat. There would be no escape from an angry monk.  

She didn’t even have her flask to deal with this.

She was doomed.

----------

“Okay!” Jester announced, holding a piece of paper listing all the other members of the Mighty Nein in her hands. “We have five options!”

Nott, feeling not unlike she did when the Nein were about to head into a terrible, dangerous dungeon, nodded mutely from the bed she was sitting on while Jester flounced about in front of her.

“We need to tackle this methodically, carefully.” She said, looking at the piece of paper. “I think we should start with Beau-”

“Beau? Why Beau?” Nott’s voice definitely did not crack, and when Jester looked at her, she definitely did not wince.

“Why not?” Jester tilted her head. “I mean, she’s my roommate and everything, we’ve basically spent the most time together.”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s her.” Nott folded her arms, closing her eyes. Perhaps that would make it easier to lie. “She doesn’t do romance.”

And if she found out what Nott was doing she’d lose her mind. Fifty percent chance she’d just throw herself overboard. Nott had seen Beau during the Zone of Truth in the Xhorhaus. She was hopeless. The other fifty percent was the chance that she’d throw Nott overboard instead. Maybe if she did, Nott could just run across the water all the way back home. Hmm. She filed that away as a last resort.

Jester deflated a little, frowning down at the list. “Then… who should we start with?”

“What about Fjord?” Nott suggested. “That would make sense, right?”

Maybe he’d also turn out to have a crush on Jester and Beau’s secret would stay safe.

“I guess…” The frown continued for a moment more before it was erased away, replaced by a confident smile. “Okay! Fjord first!”

She rubbed her hands together, the paper scrunched up. “Here’s what we’ll do! Nott, you’ll go up and ask Fjord if he has a crush on me, and then I’ll hide behind the door and overhear!”

“What?!” Nott’s voice was going to go hoarse from all the shrieking she was doing today. “Why me?”

“He won’t be totally honest if I do it!” Jester threw her hands up. “It wouldn’t be real.”

“And coercing a confession through me… is real?”

Jester looked at her for a moment, seeming to consider it.

“I mean, yeah?”

Nott really, really wished she had her flask.

----------

Fjord had been on the deck when Nott found him, Jester disguised as one of the sailors a few feet away pretending to be messing with ropes.

Nott had asked why Jester couldn’t disguise herself as Nott and ask everyone, but Jester had just mumbled a reason about not wanting to be distracted trying to act like Nott when she really wanted to be focused on figuring out who liked her.

Whatever. Nott had accepted her fate. This was going to kill her, the only question was who would end up doing it.

“Fjord?” She should have suggested someone else first. She didn’t know what the fuck she was supposed to say.

“Nott?” Fjord raised an eyebrow in her direction, looking out to the horizon. “What’s up?”

Resisting the temptation to look back where Jester was milling around and acting like she knew how the ship’s ropes worked, Nott took a deep breath. “Can’t I talk to one of my dear, dear friends?”

Well if he wasn’t suspicious before, he definitely was now.

“What do you want?”

“Okay, okay, look. Look.” She pressed her hands together. “This is serious shit. It’s about Jester.”

Some of the wariness slipped into concern, and Fjord turned to face her more properly. “What about her?”

There was a short silence, and Nott decided to toss up a quiet prayer to whatever fucking god might be listening. Except the Traveller, who had caused this mess in the first place. The Traveller could choke.

“Do you have a crush on her?”

Fjord stared at her. Nott stared back.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s a simple question!” Nott threw up her hands, voice a little louder than intended.

“Why are you asking me this? What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to know! Just say yes or no!”

“No? I don’t have a crush on Jester.” Fjord was looking at her like she’d sprouted another head, shaking his own and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Nott stiffened. “Wait, you don’t? Really?” Her hands dropped to her side. “Are you sure?”

He rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve had plenty of time to consider my feelings for Jester, and though I love her, it’s not romantically.”

“But…” But that meant they’d have to keep going. And eventually Jester would get to Beau’s name. “Are you really sure?”

“Why are you so concerned?” Fjord folded his arms. “It’s none of your business anyway.”

“Uh… no reason! Fuck you!” Nott scowled. “I haven’t had alcohol in a week!”

Fjord narrowed his eyes at her, before groaning. “If you’re going through withdrawal, you can go be pissy at literally anyone else.”

She flipped him off as she left, just for good measure, before immediately turning and running out of his view, where Jester met up with her.

“Well, I guess we can check Fjord off the list.” Jester sighed, pulling out her piece of paper.

“Are you disappointed?” Nott asked, wincing.

Jester didn’t answer for a moment, pursing her lips as she crossed Fjord’s name out. “No, that’s okay. I just don’t know who to do next.”

“What about Caleb?” Nott said. At least she knew how to talk to Caleb. And Caleb was great, maybe he’d have a crush on Jester and then it would all work out and Beau would remain unaware and Nott would remain alive and whole.

----------

“Heeeeyyyyy, Cay.” Nott pushed open the door to Caleb’s quarter’s, which he technically shared with Caduceus, who was thankfully not there.

Caleb was sitting on one of the cots with his spellbook out, writing in notes. He looked up when Nott entered, waving a loose hello before going back to his work.

Nott walked in, leaving the door ajar behind her and sidling up to Caleb’s cot. “Whatcha working on?”

“My dunamantic studies. I hope to have the spells Essek taught me perfected by the time we return to Xhorhas.” Caleb said.

“Ooh, very cool, very cool. You’re so smart. And handsome. And romantic. Hey, totally random segue, how do you feel about Jester?”

Caleb turned to look at her, utter confusion plain on his face. She just stared back, smiling placidly.

“Jester?”

“Yes, Jester. Unless there are any other random Jester’s I don’t know about.” She cracked a crooked grin, nudging Caleb’s ribs with her elbow and avoiding looking directly in his eyes. If she did, she’d lose it.

“I… I think Jester is very nice. She is a dear friend, and powerful ally.” Caleb finally said, speaking even more slowly and deliberately than he usually did.

“Okaaay, any other feelings? Any at all?” Nott pressed.

“She is very intelligent… and a valuable member of our team. I think we are all very lucky for knowing her.” Caleb straightened up a little, turning his body towards her. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine!” A part of her wanted Caleb to realise the truth. Maybe then Jester would give the whole idea up. Maybe if she blinked long enough Caleb would realise she was being coerced. “I just wanted to know how you felt about Jester! Maybe- maybe if there were any… romantic inclinations?”

“Romantic inclinations?” Caleb repeated, eyes widening a little, though his expression changed little beyond that. “No. I don’t feel anything romantically for Jester.”

“Not even a little?”

“No. I care for Jester very deeply, as I care for everyone in the Nein. But, ah, not romantically. Those kinds of feelings… they are rare for me.” The corner of his mouth quirked a little, and he leaned a little towards her. “Did you think I did?”

“Uh… yeah! Yeah, you know, ever since- ever since you two danced at Hupperdook, way back when, ha, I’ve just been… convinced.” Nott laughed awkwardly, and Caleb chuckled once.

“Oh, that is a long time ago.” He said. “No. That was just a dance. I hope you haven’t talked to Jester about this. I wouldn’t want to give her a false impression.”

“Course not.” Nott said, the words feeling a bit hollow. “I wouldn’t tell anyone about feelings like that.”

“Yes, I imagine it probably wouldn’t be the best way to find out.” Caleb mused, and it was all Nott could do to stop herself from pulling her own hair out. “Did you need anything else? I wouldn’t mind the company.”

Sliding off the cot, Nott tried to act natural. “Nah, I’m- really hungry, I’m gonna go find some food. Bye!”

“That was a bust too.” Jester scowled once they reconvened in a hallway far away from Caleb’s room.

“He did say lots of nice things about you, though.” Nott said.

“He did. But he doesn’t love me.” She crossed Caleb’s name out, tapping the pen to her chin at the three remaining. “Okay, now I think we should try Beau.”

“What? Nah, I don’t think so.” Nott said. Shit, shit, she needed to think of a good reason. “What about Yasha? We know she likes ladies!”

“So does Beau, though. And Yasha like, used to be married. I don’t know, that might feel weird.” Jester frowned. “Maybe we should leave Yasha.”

“You asked me if I had a crush on you and I’m married right now.” Nott said. “Besides, Yasha smacked your butt that one time while you were a mammoth! That’s totally romantic.”

“She did do that, didn’t she.” Jester considered, before finally grinning. “Okay, okay, let’s do Yasha.”

Nott nodded, hoping her relief wasn’t visible on her face. Safe, for a little while longer.

----------

It actually took a while to find Yasha. While looking, Nott had peered into the Captain’s Quarters and found Beau rummaging through Avantika’s old closet (which had already been thoroughly ransacked the last time they’d been on the Balleater) and promptly led Jester as far away to the other side of the ship as possible before she could realise Beau was there.

Luckily, Yasha was on the other side of the ship. In the cargo hold.

“Uh, Yash? What are you doing down here?” Nott asked.

“It’s quiet.” Yasha said, closing the book in her lap. “There are a lot more crew members now than there was last time, it feels very busy.”

“Oh, cool.” Nott sat down opposite Yasha. She was even more clueless as to how to broach this than she had been with Fjord. “So… how have you been?”

Yasha shifted a little, considering. She was like Caleb in that way, she always liked to take a moment to select her words. “Good, I suppose. I’m glad nothing has happened while we are on this boat yet.”

Nott nodded. “Yeah. That’s good.” They lapsed into a light silence.

Yasha eventually went back to reading her book, and Nott could feel herself starting to sweat.

On one hand, if this lasted forever, they’d never have the chance to ask Beau, and Nott would live to see tomorrow. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure if Jester had enough patience for that.

“Ladies, amiright?” Was what her stupid, panicked, possibly actually going through withdrawal brain finally came up with, and when Yasha’s eyes snapped up to look at her she thought she might actually splinter into a hundred pieces.

Literally what?

“Uh…” Yasha’s voice trailed off. “Right?” Another silence. “Is… is there something you want to tell me?”

Nott felt the blood rush to her cheeks, her fingers digging into her palms and her voice cracking as she rushed to explain herself. “No! I mean- not like that! I know you like ladies but I don’t, I was just- uh- you like girls, don’t you?”

“Yes?” Yasha’s eyebrows knitted together, and she gently closed the book, placing it aside. “I am… confused.”

“So-” She chuckled breathlessly. “What about Jester? She’s pretty cute, right? The kind of girl you’d be looking at?”

“Jester is very cute, yes.” Yasha relaxed a little. “She is wonderful.”

“So… you’re attracted to her? Like a crush?”

“I wouldn’t say that, I don’t think.” Yasha shrugged lightly, before eyeing her. “Are you attracted to her?”

“What? No! She’s one of my best friends!” Nott said, and a ghost of a smile crossed Yasha’s face. “I’m not!”

“I believe you. I’m not either.”

“Yeah, we’re just a couple of gals who aren’t attracted to Jester, right?”

“Right.” Yasha was still looking at her, slightly amused but mostly confused, probably wondering if there was something else going on here.

“Right.” Nott repeated.

“Right.”

Silence.

A very, very long silence.

“Can I have my flask back?”

“No.”

“Well, great talking to you! Bye Yasha!”

She walked very casually out of the cargo hold. Which in reality meant she could not have looked more awkward, painfully aware of Yasha’s eyes following her every move until she was out of sight.

“Another no?” Jester was already crossing off Yasha’s name.

“Another no.” Nott said, grimacing. “Onto Caduceus?”

“I don’t really think it’s Caduceus.” Jester said.

“Come on, you should give it a shot. Would your best detective friend lead you wrong?” Nott smiled, though honestly if Jester pushed going for Beau she wasn’t sure how much she’d be able to resist. Caduceus would say no and they’d have to do it anyway.

Maybe she could just accept the inevitable. Tell Jester now and hide somewhere Beau would never find her even if she tore apart the entire boat.

No. She’d kept the secret until now. She could keep going. She had to. At least then Beau wouldn’t be able to say she hadn’t tried.

----------

She found Caduceus in the kitchen, which he had effectively monopolised since they’d gotten onto the boat. Apparently whatever system the crew members used was totally inefficient, and he was still reorganising it to his comfort.

“Caddyshack, what’s up?” Nott slid into the kitchen, leaning against a barrel.

“Hello, Nott.” Caduceus said mildly. “Do you need something?”

“You grew up pretty isolated, right?”

“I suppose so.” Caduceus shrugged, looking at her curiously. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just wondering… how were you and your siblings going to ever… find partners in life? If you lived in the cemetery your whole lives?” She was honestly not even trying to seem natural anymore, and she could feel Caduceus’ eyes peering through her, staring into her soul. Hopefully he could see how totally exhausted she was and go easy on her.

“We were not bound to the cemetery, we could leave if we wished.” Caduceus’ face didn’t change, as if he hadn’t noticed anything amiss at all.

“Would you have ever left? If we had never come by, would you have gone out to find a wife? Or husband, or whatever?”

“I suppose I might’ve, eventually. That’s never been a particularly big concern for me.”

“So… you don’t think any of us would be suitable partners? Like me… or Jester…”

Caduceus’ eyes flickered to her again, holding for a moment before shifting around the room. “If Jester wants to know whether I have romantic feelings for her she could just ask me herself, you know.”

“Whaaaaaat-”

“Shit-” There was a muffled thud and then the kitchen door swung open, Jester stumbling inside from where she had evidently been leaning against it to listen in. “Caduceussssss, did you know I was there the whole time?”

“No. I just guessed based on when I overheard the two of you plotting to figure out who had a crush on you while you walked by her an hour ago.” Caduceus’ face remained perfectly neutral, but after a moment he started to smile. “I don’t, by the way. But I’m flattered.”

Jester groaned, and Nott looked between the two of them.

“There are easier ways to go about it, you know.” Caduceus said. “Like asking us.”

Jester stood up, hanging her head and suddenly looking very embarrassed. “Yeah, but…”

“You didn’t have a problem using Zone of Truth for it back in Xhorhas.” Caduceus pointed out.

“That’s different! There it’s like, kind of a joke, you know?” Jester defended herself, wringing her hands together. “And I didn’t think anyone actually had a crush on me.”

“And how has this gone?”

There was a short silence, and Jester’s face fell. “Terrible. Now I just feel bad. I shouldn’t have tried to figure it out, this isn’t romantic at all .”

“Can I ask what you were going to do if one of us admitted to having romantic feelings for you?” Caduceus asked. “Or were you hoping for someone in particular to say yes.”

Jester looked at him, biting her lip. Realisation slowly dawned, and Nott’s mouth dropped open.

“Jester… do you have a crush on one of us?” She asked. “Wait, it’s not still Fjord, is it?”

“No!” Jester groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Not anymore! That was different, this is- I don’t know what!”

“Did you want to find out if your crush liked you back?” Nott asked, and Jester froze up for a moment before nodding, her face still hidden from view.

Nott’s brain practically melted, trying to figure out which of the Nein it was. It wasn’t her, since Jester had enlisted her help in the first place. But she hadn’t had a particularly upset reaction to any of the others saying they didn’t have feelings for her.

Which left only one they hadn’t asked yet.

“It’s Beau?” Her voice nearly squeaked when she asked it.

Jester nodded again.

Nott stared.

The feelings had been mutual the entire time? SERIOUSLY?

She could’ve AVOIDED this entire anxiety-inducing MESS?

The universe truly was a cruel mistress.

“You have to tell her!” She practically screeched, and Jester’s head jerked up.

“What? No, no, I can’t! This was a stupid idea, I never should’ve done it!”

“No, you should! Shoot your shot, you know? Take a risk! A chance!” Put an end to her misery!

“I don’t think it could hurt.” Caduceus added, not quite as encouraging and confident as Nott would have hoped but better than nothing.

“You can do it! We’ve gone through everyone else on the list, haven’t we? If you stop now, you’ll just drive yourself crazy thinking about it!”

Jester paused, considering that. “You’re probably right about that… but I can’t just force it, can I? It should be… it should be romantic.”

“I first kissed my husband on a dare.” Nott said, scoffing lightly. “Anything can be romantic if you love the other person.”

“You think so?” Jester perked up a little, and Nott nodded, frantic to keep this going.

“Of course! It’ll be great! Beau was in the Captain’s Quarters last I saw her, there’s that awesome balcony and everything, super secluded, super romantic.”

“Yeah… yeah! I can do it!”

“I believe in you, Jester! Knock her off her feet! Blow her socks off! Maybe punch her, she probably finds that hot!” Nott began pushing Jester towards the door, wishing her good luck as she found her excitement, going from hesitant steps to confident strides.

When she was gone, Nott slammed the kitchen door shut, leaning up against it and sliding to the ground. “Holy shit I thought I was gonna lose it.”

Now Caduceus looked truly amused. “You think this will end well?”

“It fucking better, I’ve been trying not to tell Jester Beau loves her all day!” Nott exclaimed.

A split second later Caduceus’ eyes widened, and Nott realised her mistake.

“fuck.”

“If Beau finds out you convinced Jester to confess, I’m sure she’ll find it in her heart to forgive you.”

[kyukun]

Kokichi Ouma: Shirt thief (OumaSai)

thanks for the request anon! i decided to do number 26 so i hope you enjoy

prompt list

prompt: 26 -“No, like…its just, i can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

title: Kokichi Ouma: Shirt thief

summary:  Kokichi is left home alone while Shuichi is at work. He finds out that he’d miss the detective a lot more than he would have thought.

word count: 1704

~~ prompt starts after cut! ~~ 

Kokichi sighed to himself, throwing his small body across the queen sized mattress. His violet eyes stared at the empty ceiling above him, a mixture of boredom and contempt taking over him. You see, Kokichi was the type of person to love exciting things. He absolutely loved when things gave him adrenaline or made him think. He considered himself quite the thinker, and a thinker like himself needed lots of intellectual stimulation. 

Thusly, why he was in fact, dying of absolute boredom. He had no entertainment. Usually, he’d bug his boyfriend in order to keep himself busy but there was an issue with that. His boyfriend was at work. Ah yes, his lovely detective boyfriend Shuichi Saihara, was at work. The seemingly long and aggravating days he went to work were often too much for Kokichi who often grew rather lonely without someone to incessantly tease with his love and affection. Sure, he could text one of his mutual friends to bother but they weren’t as fun as Shuichi was. 

Now here he was, laying with his back to the mattress, dull eyes glaring at the ceiling desperately trying to find something to do. Kokichi let out another long sigh, his eyes closing briefly into a crescent like shape. He decided he’d just think for a bit since he had nothing better to do. With his arms and legs spread like a starfish on a rock, he reopened his eyes as they drifted towards a picture frame beside their bed. A warm smile crossed his lips as memories flooded his mind back to when they had taken that photo. The photo was of Shuichi and Kokichi on their first date. Shuichi had his arm awkwardly wrapped around Kokichi’s waist while the shorter male had a grin on his face, holding up two peace signs.

He thought back to their first date at the carnival and how cute Shuichi was. That day, Shuichi was beyond flustered with pretty much the simplest of gestures. Kokichi remembered when he and Shuichi had shared their first kiss there and how shocked and embarrassed he was. They shared their kiss at the ferris wheel, which was probably the most memorable thing out of the entire date. Kokichi had convinced him to join him on the ferris wheel as a last ride of the trip sort of thing to help calm things over. They chatted and talked about how much they really enjoyed one another’s company, which was really domestic and sweet. Kokichi never had intended to kiss Shuichi on the first date, or at the top of the ferris wheel but these things happen naturally. They weren’t things you could really plan. 

Once they both had reached the top, Kokichi could still, even know, remember how beautiful he looked when his eyes flickered down towards the fairgrounds. His eyes shone so brightly, brighter than he’s ever seen them. His face glowed with the fluorescent lights beneath them, hitting his face so well. And in the heat of the moment, without even thinking, he leaned over to Shuichi and placed a longing kiss on his lips. Shuichi was practically frozen while they remained at the top, even having Kokichi shake him a bit after they kissed. Afterwards, Shuichi had asked him several times to pinch him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Kokichi knew then and there that Shuichi was the only one for him. 

The picture had such huge significance to them both. As for who had taken the picture, Kokichi wanted to have something to commemorate their success of a date and asked a random person to take the picture. Thankfully, the stranger was nice and did so without further questions or comments. A wave of heat flushed through his cheeks as he recalled the memory. Great, now he actually missed Shuichi. Though, today wouldn’t have been exactly the first time. As much as he liked the fact that he found a career he really enjoys doing, he couldn’t help but feel sad knowing that now he doesn’t get to spend as much time with him as he would’ve liked. Kokichi sat up with his arms folded over his thighs. 

He shifted his gaze towards their closet, scanning over the closed doors from across the room. With a nervous bite of his lip, he jumped down from the bed and made his way across the room towards the closet. 

His slender fingers pulled apart Shuichi’s side of the closet. They soon had made their way to touch the fabrics, gently grazing over each item. Shuichi’s wardrobe mostly consisted of formal wear and not many casual clothes. Kokichi has endlessly bugged him on and on about buying more casual wear but to no avail. He’s constantly stated how good he looked in just a pair of jeans and a regular graphic tee but he gets the same answer every time. 

“No.”

Every. Time.

But, even though Kokichi is well aware of this, he does know that he owns a few band t-shirts. For what reason? He had no clue. All he knew was that Shuichi wore one to bed last night while he clumsily tucked himself into bed. The poor boy had to stay up for work related business a few extra hours and didn’t go to bed until around three. He figured Shuichi thought he was asleep and not wide awake since he still had said band t-shirt on when felt him climb into bed beside him. Regardless of that, he moved his hand down towards the hamper just beneath Shuichi’s clothes. He reached down, scouring through a few dirty clothes until finding the item he had been searching for.

He brought the shirt to his face, giving it a good inhale before moving it away from his nose. It smelled so good. It smelled like Shuichi. It smelled like home. Kokichi gently placed the shirt at the side of the hamper as he took off his own shirt. His pale and fragile body grew cold without the warmth of his shirt. He threw his own clothing into the hamper, replacing it with a slightly oversized shirt. The shirt was a black color (as expected,) and had a skeleton with what seemed like a marching band hat on top of it. The bottom had grungy text and what seemed to be the band’s name in the same font. 

“My Chemical Romance.”

My Chemical Romance? What and who was that? He didn’t know. All he cared about was the fact that it was Shuichi’s. His tiny fingers gripped the fabric tightly, his fingers almost turning red in color from the intense grip he had. His eyes stung lightly as tears made their way towards his eyes. He shook his head. No, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. He should be thrilled Shuichi finally has a career he loves and looks forward to. Despite all of that, his chest hurt. It hurt. He fucking missed Shuichi so much. Even though he was only gone for a few hours, those hours felt like days. He hated that he was being clingy but a part of him was worried that he would overwork himself and grow ill or worse, they split up due to him being too invested into his work. 

Being too busy over-thinking, Kokichi hadn’t noticed the door to their bedroom door open. It was until he heard a gentle knock on the door where he had came back to the surface. Kokichi’s head snapped towards the sound, it took a minute to realize who it was and what he wearing before he completely turned into a blushing mess. He didn’t expect him to come home so early. Shuichi blinked in slight confusion as he scampered off towards their bed, covering himself with the sheets. “W-what are you doing here so early?! I thought you were coming at nine!" 

"Mr. Tanaka let me out early… I’m sorry, am I missing something? Why do you look so shocked that I’m here?”

Shuichi inched closer, causing Kokichi to sink himself further into the corner. “I-I’m not! It’s just so out of the blue and-!”

“Why are you hiding? You’re usually hugging me the minute I come home. Are you feeling okay?” This was bad. The detective, who was now sitting on the bed, moved his hands closer to Kokichi. He gently removed the blanket which sheltered Kokichi, not saying anything before realizing what he was hiding. Kokichi crossed his arms, giving an embarrassed huff as he avoided eye contact with the detective. “Great. Now you caught me, go ahead, make fun of me.”

“Kokichi I… Are you… wearing my clothes?”

“Y-yeah. So what? Look, I was just making sure they were still wearable and comfy. I swear I had no other intentions, that was all I was doing. There, now you know the truth so don’t get angry.” Shuichi’s eyes softened at the sight in front of him. The tiny male was cornered but all he could resort to was lie. His arms crossed over his chest and his head was hung low, staring down at the ruffled sheets below him. “No, like… it’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.” He let out a low giggle, which seemed to push Kokichi’s embarrassment further. Kokichi could feel his heart about ready to explode. Even though he knew Shuichi would never blackmail him, he knew that he’d hold this above his head for a while and constantly remind him.

"I’m not… It wasn’t because I missed you or anything, it’s like I told you. I was just checking to make sure Shumai’s clothes were comfortable.”

“And are they?” Shuichi pulled the liar closer, embracing the body in his arms tightly. Kokichi could still feel the heat on his cheeks as he buried his face inside of Shuichi’s chest, unable to look at him in the eyes. “They are. But Saihara-chan is more comfortable.” Kokichi smiled warmly, wrapping his hands around his waist. He could deny it all he wanted, but what he couldn't deny was the warmth Shuichi gave him. It was only then did he realize that this warmth was made only for him, and nothing would take that away.

[southhighsucks]

Secret Santa

Secret Santa Fandom: South Park Pairing: Kyman Word Count: just shy of 5k

Summary:  The Park County High School Seniors are celebrating their Christmas with a good 'ol fashioned secret santa! With Wendy and Heidi in charge of the match ups, somehow, Eric Cartman really isn't surprised he's gotten Kyle Broflovski as his giftee. Implied long term pining, some really lame Christmas Romance Cliches, and some heart warming fluff by the fireside. 

This was written for the Kyman Secret Santa 2k17 [ @kymanss2017 ]  for user @kylebblog!! I know it’s not a very angsty confession, but I really tried to do something nice for ya! Merry Christmas!!

Continue reading below or on Archive of Our Own!

“Alright everyone, listen up!” Wendy’s voice echoed around the common area of Park County High School. She and Heidi stood at the middle of the tables, Wendy with a clipboard and Heidi with a large stack of envelopes. Most eyes were on them.

“Oh jeez.” Kenny McCormick looked over at the guys sitting at his table, gagging and rolling his eyes. Clyde snorted, punching him in the shoulder.

“Don’t be a dick, McCormick. This’ll be fun.” Kenny sighed again, giving a smile. Clyde was right. This would probably be a lot of fun.

“Okay,” Wendy started again, “As most of you know, today we’ll be passing out the letters for everyone's secret santa!” There was a small chorus of cheers, “The envelopes will have the name of the person, and also the paper they filled out earlier in the week, that way you know what they would like, what they’re interests are, all that.” Wendy turned to Heidi for a minute, grabbing one of the envelopes off the top of the stack. “I’ll be running around all day handing these out to you, alright? Everyone was matched up as anonymously as possible. If you did sign up to be a part of the exchange and don’t get one of these guys from me by the end of the day, please let me know! You can always text me or call me if you don’t get a chance to see me at the end of the day.” She smiled wide.

“Why aren’t you just handing them out now?” Eric didn’t bother looking up from the book he was reading while he asked the question.

“Because, you’re all a bunch of nosey assholes and if I hand these to you right now you’ll rip them open and everyone will be looking over your shoulders.” She answered back. Eric snorted. “Fair enough.” “As discussed earlier, we’ll be having the exchange at Clyde’s house the Saturday before Christmas. If you can’t make it, let either me or Heidi know and we’ll work something out. Is everyone in understanding?” There was a hum of affirmation through the crowd. Kenny looked to Clyde.

“Does that Sparkle with you, Donovan?” Clyde snorted, nodding.

“It fuckin’ sparkles, dude.”

--

Eric Cartman made his way through the hallway, backpack slung over his shoulder, his books under his arm. AP Government was probably one of his favourite classes. It was a relentless back and forth between himself, Wendy, and Kyle. It was the Debate Team Part II. A stupid little smile pulled its’ way across Eric’s lips as he leaned against the wall, early to class.

Just thinking about their bullshit made him grin.

“Eric!” Cartman looked up at the sound of his name, turning to see Wendy walking a little faster, holding up an envelope. He arched a brow, giving her a little wave.

“Didn’t think you’d be so eager to see me, Wends.” He held out his hand expectantly, the girl slapping the envelope into his grip.

“First of all, shut your face, second of all, I figured now would be the best time to get this to you. You’re always early for Government.” “That’s because I don’t Dilly-Dally after the lunch bell.” He pushed his thumb under paper flap of his envelope, sliding it across, the glue easily splitting apart and popping open. Eric pulled out the paper inside and unfolded it, his eyes scanning over it.

Wendy smiled.

“Think you can handle that?” Eric looked up from the paper, his eyes narrowed at her.

“I thought these were all picked anonymously? Random matchups?” “Oh they are. Luck just wasn’t on your side. Or maybe it was.” She shrugged, a knowing smile playing across her lips. Eric sneered some, feeling his face flush. He put the paper back in the envelope, sticking it into his backpack.

“You’re a real piece of work, Testaburger.” The girl stuck her tongue out.

“Don’t thank me, Heidi was in charge of the pair ups.” Eric groaned.

“Of course she was.”

…. He’d have to thank her later.

--

“Cartman, who’d you get?” Kenny leaned against the lockers as Eric shut his, grinning some. He held up his own envelope, shaking it. Eric flipped him off.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” “Did you get Tucker? Is that your subtle way of saying you got Tucker?” They both laughed and Eric shook his head, patting his bag.

“No, asshole, I didn’t. Aren’t these supposed to be secrets anyway?” Kenny rolled his eyes, shrugging some. “Nah, not really. It’s just a secret from whoever you got. Why, did you get me~?” Kenny winked, “but really, I think we can tell other people. Like, oh hey, I got so and so, this was their list, do you think they’d like this?? Ya know what I mean?” Eric nodded, pointing to the somewhat crumpled envelope in Kenny’s hands. “Well then, who’d you get?”

“I’m not saying if you won’t say!” Ken stuck out his tongue and Eric pulled on it, earning a yelp. He wiped his hand on his pants, nose wrinkled some.

“I got Kyle, of course. Somehow.” Kenny instantly burst into a fit of laughter, shaking his head. Eric got Kyle? By what grace of God? “Oh my God, that’s fuckin’ amazing. What are you even going to get him? A gag that says “Mute Button”?” They both snorted, Eric covering his mouth to keep himself from howling. Kenny McCormick was such a fuckin’ nut case. “No, asshole. I have a pretty great idea, actually.” Eric looked smug all of a sudden, crossing his arms, “I think it’ll be real nice, what I’ve got planned.” He nodded back to Kenny’s envelope, “And you got who?” Kenny held the envelope up, wiggling it some.

“I got Jimmy. I’m not all too sure what to get him though. Like I feel kinda bad I can’t really spend a lot on something, ya know?” He shrugged his shoulders, smiling, “It is what it is.” Eric waved him off. “Dude, no one's expecting anything big and grand. I wouldn’t worry. You could get Jimmy a whoopee cushion from the dollar store and he’d still love it.” Kenny snickered, smiling and nodding.

“Yeah, I’ll thinka something. His list was really simple actually, so it shouldn’t be too hard.” Kenny winked again, shifting his ratty old backpack to rest better against his shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later, Fatass!” Eric rolled his eyes.

“Fuck you too, Poor Boy.”

--

The month of December went by without much of a hitch. Most everyone had figured out who had who within the first week, but some still managed to keep the secret from their recipients. Between midterms and the early release days, the last week had flown by, and before long it was the day of the party. Clyde’s dad never really minded when he threw big parties, mostly because the football star was a surprisingly responsible boy and his friends typically helped clean up. That’s was the deal pretty much. If they stuck around to help clean, there could be another party.

No one argued that.

Wendy and Heidi came over early, along with Token to help decorate. Most the house had already been festively dressed, but the girls had a couple more things to put up, and with a little elbow grease and help from the boys, they’d have everything in tip top shape.

“Token, are you sure you don’t mind running up to the store?” Wendy was on a ladder, Clyde holding it steady as she hung garland around the trim of the living room.

“No, not at all! I’ll just grab some of the deli platters. No one actually plans on eating real food, right? And we said it was pot luck anyway, so I’m sure someone else will bring something.” Token picked up Wendy’s purse, rifling through it for a moment, “Is your rewards card still on your keyring?”

“Don’t worry about that hun, they just need my phone number.” Wendy scaled back down the ladder, grabbing a scrap of wrapping paper and scrawling her phone number on it, “Here, it’s easier than having to search through your contacts. Thanks again Token!”

He smiled at her, shaking his head.

“It’s never a problem. I’ll be back in a few.” He pulled on his heavy jacket, ducking out of the doorway. Heidi came out of the kitchen, already dressed for the party.

“Clyde? The lemon bars just beeped in the oven, should I put them in the fridge?” She asked, swaying some, feeling a bit like she wasn’t doing enough to really help out. Clyde waved a hand.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, they have to cool themselves before being refrigerated. They’ll crack otherwise.” He gave a big smile, sticking his hands in the pockets of his letterman. They were an interesting crew to say the least, but somehow, these were the people Clyde seemed to hang out with the most. They were their own happy-go-lucky crew of misfits in a way. It was weird, to think of the star quarterback as a misfit, or the student council president as one, or any of the four of them, really, but they felt the term suited them.

Clyde looked around at the group, smiling.

Tonight would be fun

--

The kids of Park County high school started showing up around six, all with thick coats, wrapped gifts, and big smiles. The gift table was right near the front door so the neighborhood kids could be as sneaky as possible with their gifts, most of them genuinely trying to hide their surprises in case their secret-santee was already in the room. Heidi stood at the table with a clipboard, making sure to check off each student as they came in and set their gift down, trying to keep track of everyone.

“Well hey there Heidi, you look awfully cute tonight!” Butters stood in the doorway with a big box in his arms, the gift wrapped in blue with little ducks all along it. Heidi laughed some, taking the package from Butters.

“Why thank you , Leo! You don’t look half bad yourself!” The party was supposed to be an ugly Christmas sweater party, too, but not everyone seemed to have gotten that memo. Most who showed up looked like they were wearing their christmas best, save a few ugly sweaters from Walmart here and there, and whatever the Hell Kenny McCormick was wearing.

“Gee Heidi, thanks a million!” He gave a real wide smile, waving at her again before disappearing into what crowds had gathered.

Heidi looked over the list, tapping the clipboard as she went down the line of names.

“Hey Heidi!” She looked up, eyes meeting Kyle’s as he shut the front door behind himself. He held a large green bag behind his back, eyes looking over the crowd to make sure he wouldn’t be caught by whoever the gift was for.

“Kyle! Awesome! I think you’re one of the last ones on my list!” She ticked off his name, taking the bag from him with care, setting it amongst the rest of the gifts, “Stan and Kenny are in the kitchen I think, and Eric just went out on the porch to see who’s around the bonfire so like, ya know. Find some friends, make yourself comfy.” She swayed some.

Kyle smiled back at her, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Alright, I’ll go see what everyone's up to. Thanks Heidi.” He nodded his head as a goodbye before heading out to the porch, standing in the open glass doors. Eric was leaning against the wooden railing of the deck, watching Token and Clyde toss a football back and forth.

“How’s the bonfire lookin’ ?” Kyle asked, coming up beside Eric, leaning against the rail as well. He looked over at the small stack of wood in the fire pit that barely looked like it was burning.

“Apparently they’re gunna wait until it gets a little darker. Stan was trying to tell ‘em it’d be better to start it now so it could build up and burn but everyone’s stubborn.” Eric looked over at Kyle and smiled some, “You were running a little late, what happened? The Jalopy wouldn’t start?” The Jalopy was the oh so endearing name Kyle’s shitty car had gotten from McCormick many moons ago. It’d just stuck.

Kyle shook his head, thumbing to the house.

“I had to pick up my gift.” Kyle sighed and Eric arched a brow, gesturing for the other to elaborate. He sighed again, “Okay, so I got Craig, right? And like, I didn’t know what to get Craig! What does that kid like? Aliens, Indie Movies, Guinea Pigs? So anyway, the book store in the mall sells records now, right? That’s super indie, and they had a record of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack and last I checked, Craig loves Moulin Rouge. I had to special order it ‘cause it was a website promo through some 3rd party from the UK thought I guess? And listen, it was only like twenty bucks, but I really thought it wasn’t gunna get here in time.” Eric laughed some, shaking his head.

“Was there actually a backup plan incase the thing didn’t get here?”

Kyle nodded, snickering.

“Yeah, I got him some little round guinea pig stuffed animal. I just threw it in the bag with the vinyl.” He shrugged, “So that’s why I’m late.”

Eric shook his head, taking a sip of the punch he had in his hand.

“You’re always so colourful with your excuses.”

“It’s not an excuse, asshole!” Kyle sneered and Eric only laughed harder, standing up straight, cracking his back.

“C’mon, do you want a drink?” Eric asked, starting to make his way back into the house. Kyle nodded and followed after, yawning some, “Kyle, you cannot already be tired. The party hasn't even started.” Kyle stuck out his tongue.

“Hey how about ya fuck off.”

--

“Alright, I’m just going to start handing out gifts, does that work for everyone?” Wendy was standing at the front of the gift table, a majority of their senior class around her, some sitting on the end tables and couches, most standing and bouncing like giddy children.

“THAT SPARKLES, WENDS!” Clyde hollered from the back, earning a whoop of agreement from everyone else in the room. Wendy rolled her eyes, picking up the first gift, checking the tag on it. It was a plain brown envelope with the name ‘Cartman’ on it. Wendy passed it onto Eric who caught it between his two fingers.

“How are we doing this, Testaburger? Are you handing them all out at once, are we watching one by one?” Eric asked, looking over the gift.

“We’ll just go one-by-one to see what everyone got, okay? So go ahead and open up!” She didn’t have to tell him twice. He tore the envelope open, pulling out a card. It was simple, looked like something from the dollar store, with a little cartoon moose on it, decked out like a wannabe reindeer. Eric grinned, opening the card, a handful of gift cards sliding out. He caught them before they could fall, looking over them, his eyes slowly narrowing.

There was one for five bucks to KFC, another for McDonalds, and a last one for ten bucks to Denny’s. He didn’t mean to look disdainful, but somewhere in his chest it felt like someone was making a joke.

“Uh…” His nose wrinkled up but he played it off, trying to read the inside of the card and keep his anger in line.

His eyes blinked.

“Stan?” Eric looked over at the boy who perked up some, smiling.

“Yeah dude?”

“Why the Hell did you sign this card? It’s supposed to be annonymous, you shit head.”Eric held the card up for all to see. It was signed, plain as day, “Merry Christmas dude! -Stan” and the entire room lit up with laughter.

“MARSH YOU DON’T SIGN YOUR SHIT OH MY GOD.” Clyde doubled over, spilling some of his soda as he laughed.

Stan’s face turned beet red.

“Oh shit. Sorry, I kinda thought we’d end up telling everyone who got who what at the end so like, it wouldn’t matter?” He scratched the back of his head and gave a charming little smile and a shrug. Wendy rolled her eyes, playfully crossing her arms. “Okay, did anyone /else/ sign their gifts that I need to address before hand? Like, if ya’ll wanna tell your people who you got what, go right on ahead I guess.” She was having a hard time keeping a straight face. She couldn’t believe he signed the God damned card. Stan grinned.

“Okay, so I dropped the ball. But ah, Merry Christmas, Cartman. Didn’t really know what to get ya’ but I figured you can’t go wrong with money and food, so combining them has to be good enough.” Stan’s sheepish face more than made up for the gift. Had it been someone like Tucker, Eric probably would’ve thought he was being made fun of, but Stan? Nah, the guy didn’t mean anything by it. Knowing it was him made Eric feel a lot better. He grinned back.

“Thanks man. Merry Christmas.”

“Alright, alright, how about this next one?” Wendy picked up a rectangular gift, wrapped perfectly in silver, a thick black ribbon woven around it and tied like how they showed presents in the movies. Wendy looked it over.

“Kyle, this one’s yours hun.” She handed it off to him. Kyle took ahold of the gift with a big grin, fiddling with the ribbon some.

“It’s so pretty though? Like, I’d feel bad ripping into it.”

“Just hurry up already.” Eric rolled his eyes, tapping his wrist watch impatiently. Kyle flipped him off, pulling the ribbon loose.

“Shut the fuck up, assface.”

“Assface, that’s a cute one.” Eric muttered to himself, watching intently as Kyle held the gift. Just rip it open. C’mon. Hurry up!!

Kyle’s fingers delicately pressed under the taped edges of the wrapping paper, peeling it back as best as he could, some of the paper ripping as he went. He stuck his tongue out, methodically opening the package.

“Dude, seriously? All this papers gunna end up in the trash, just rip into it.” Token took a sip of his drink, shaking his head. Kyle paid him no mind, pulling out a black box, opening the lid.

“What the Hell?” Kyle’s brows furrowed. He pulled out a dark green button down, fingers running over the soft fabric. Beneath the shirt was a darkened pair of jeans, a plain black belt, and a pair of black cap-toe Oxfords. Kyle pulled each item out, inspecting it with knitted brows. Everything looked to be in the right size. At the bottom of the box was an envelope with his name written across it in a stunningly dramatic cursive.

Honestly, he was kind of scared to open it.

He opened the envelope with a lot less care than he’d used on the box, pulling out a card, opening it up. It was plain and simple, a small gift certificate the only thing in it. The certificate had the insignia of a fondue restaurant in Denver and read ‘Dinner for two. Enjoy date night on us! Experience the full four-courses of flavour at any participating location. Non-transferable. No cash value.’.

Kyle swallowed some, looking at the actual words in the card, face brightening up. There wasn’t anything substantial, just a date and a time.

“... Dude. That’s real gay.” Stan snickered some, elbowing his friend, shaking his head, “You got a date for Christmas. That’s some Hallmark level bullshit.”

Kyle looked around the room, trying to gage peoples reactions, trying to figure out who would’ve possibly gotten him something like this. The gift was well beyond the set cap of fifty dollars for the secret santa, everyone in the room knew that. All of his classmates looked either shocked or amused, and no one was piping up  to say they’d be the one taking Kyle on the date.

Wendy looked around the room, too, her eyes stopping on Eric for a moment before continuing along the group.

“Well, is anyone going to own up to the gift? Or is it just going to have to be a mystery until date night?” She asked, smiling to herself. Still, no one spoke, so she shrugged, reaching into the packages on the table once more, grabbing the blue one with ducks on it, “Well, alright then, Kenny, this one’s for you.”

Kyle stopped paying attention right then and there. He kept staring at people, trying to read them, trying to figure out who would’ve gone so far out of the way and put so much out of pocket for him. Who would even want to date him? He tried to listen in as everyone else opened their gifts, trying to keep a tally of who outed themselves as Santas. By the end of the gift-giving, he had a handful of people he knew it couldn’t be: Stan, Clyde, Kenny, Bebe, and Butters. Those were the only people who’d owned up to their gifts, at least, the only ones he’d heard.

“So,” Kenny bumped against Kyle, startling him, a squeakish ‘yelp’ tumbling out of his throat as he held the button down close to his chest. Kenny arched a brow and chuckled, “So, who do you think it is?” He held a can of soda out to Kyle. Kyle took it without question, popping it open and chugging it before shrugging.

“I have no idea. I can’t even begin to think of who would waste that much money on me. The dinner alone has to be close to a hundred bucks. Hell, those shoes!! When I worked at Macy’s those kind of shoes were stupid expensive...” Kyle ranted, fingers tapping a rhythm on the soda can.

“So you’ve got no guesses at all? Any hopes at least~?” Kenny winked at the other, laughing at the deadpan expression he was given.

“Listen, if I had to guess? Maybe David? He and I always joked about being your stereotypical, modern gay couple. I don’t think he’d go this far for a gag though.” Kyle sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know man. I guess I could go around and ask everyone who they were Santa for? See where the stories don’t match up? But that’s so obsessive…” “Kyle. Your best bet is to just not worry about it.” Kenny ruffled his hair, “I’m gunna go out to the bonfire and help start it up. You gunna sulk around here?” Kyle nodded, giving a little smile. “I’m just gunna hang around the food for a bit, alright? I’ll meet you guys out there soon.” Kenny shrugged, giving a two fingered salute, ducking out onto the porch. Kyle sighed, making his way to the kitchen. Heidi was the only one in the room, casually munching on the fruit salad Bebe had brought.

Her eyes lit up when she saw Kyle.

“Hey you!! So?? Did you like your gift?” Her lips were pulled in a wide smile. He walked over to her with eyebrows raised.

“You seem awfully excited about it. Don’t tell me you and I are going on a date.” She laughed, winking at him.

“Maybe we are!!” -- “C’mon Kyle, let's go try to be social.” Heidi pulled the boy by his hand, leading the way out to the porch, where most of the party goers had retreated to. She quickly made her way across the deck, going down the stairs two at a time, making her way over to the fire that was starting to grow. Kyle staggered behind, staying on the deck, Eric once again leaning against the banister, watching the party.

“.... Hey.” Kyle came up beside him again, smiling some, “Why are you all the way up here? It’s probably warmer by the fire.” Eric shrugged his shoulders, sipping on whatever drink he’d picked up now.

“Eh. I’m observing. Why don’t you go down there, huh? You look like you need to warm up more than I do, you’re shaking. You should’ve worn more layers, you fuckin’ skinny-mini.” They both laughed, Kyle wrapping his arms around himself.

“Listen, asshole, no one told me it’d be an inside-outside party. I figured if I dressed too warm I’d regret it.” Eric rolled his eyes, shrugging out of his leather jacket, offering it up to the other. Kyle’s eyebrows knit together and he opened his mouth to argue, but something stopped him. The way Eric held the jacket out to him, a sigh in his chest, eyes averted, face slowly starting to turn red. Kyle shut himself up, taking ahold of the jacket, sliding into it.

“You’re fuckin’ swimmin’ in that thing.” Eric snorted, looking over Kyle. The other boy laughed back, burrowing himself into the leather.

“... This is really lame, dude.”

“Shuttup, Kyle.” Eric pushed the other boys shoulder some, smiling at him, one of those warm grins from the heart. Kyle stuck his tongue out. They stayed there for a few minutes, quiet, watching their classmates run around in the grass and play by the bonfire.

“Who’d you get?” He suddenly blurted out in their silence, catching Eric off guard.

“What?” “For the Secret Santa. I got Craig. Who’d you get?” Eric laughed some, shaking his head.

“No way dude. You’re just trying to narrow your options. I’m not gunna make this any easier on you.” He winked at him and Kyle stayed quiet for a moment.

“... You didn’t have to spend that much money. We could go mini golfing and I’d be happy.” The statement caught Eric off guard.

“Excuse me?” He spluttered some, laughing and coughing. Kyle looked to the side, eyes meeting Eric’s.

“I don’t know where your money comes from, and I know you won’t tell me, but you’re the only one who’s going to drop that amount on something like this. This has Eric Theodore Cartman written all over it. I’d be surprised if anyone but you showed up for this date.” Kyle bumped against the other, trying to smile at him.

Eric rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Kyle. Wishful thinking won’t get you very far.” they were both smiling now.

“... Heidi told me.”

“Well fuck.” Eric’s smile dropped and Kyle snorted, resting his chin in his hands.

“You didn’t have to be so extravagant. You coulda just asked.”

“No, no, I know…” Eric sighed, trying to smooth his hair out, “I guess I just wanted it to be a surprise? I figured you’d think I was just showing up as a gag since we all saw that date and time, ya know? I guess I’m just getting tired of this game.” He let out another breath, swallowing, chewing on what to say next, “We’ve been playing this game our whole lives it feels like, and I’m done with it. I’m not sure if you are or not, but I’m tired. I want to be happy, man.”

Kyle’s throat went dry and he let out a nervous laugh, anxiety vibrating in his fingertips.

“What, our arguments not doin’ it for ya anymore?” Somewhere, a part of him knew that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but it’s what came out of Kyle’s mouth. Eric rolled his eyes, leaning into Kyle some.

“You know what I mean.” Kyle could feel his breathing hitch. He turned away from Eric, laughing again, his nerves getting the best of him. Most all of him wanted to lean against Eric and be an adult and have this conversation, but there was still something settling in his stomach and fluttering in his chest that made him pull away from the other.

“So we’re going on a date then? I guess now that I know it’s you we can just carpool, right?”

“Kyle. Breath for four seconds, your voice is getting so high I’m starting to think someone kicked you in the balls.” Kyle straightened up, coughing as a means to clear his throat, his face flushed. He never knew what to do in these kinds of situations. Somehow, he always found himself in them with Eric. The other boy would openly imply his feelings and make fun at Kyle’s expense, but Kyle couldn’t ever reciprocate. Even when they were laying together at sleepovers, the second Eric leaned into him to try and see if they could get away with cuddling up, Kyle would be a giggling disaster, trying to squirm away.

Eric knew him well enough to know he wasn’t reading him wrong. He knew Kyle had feelings for him. He knew they could be something. Kyle just either hadn’t come to terms with it yet or was letting his anxiety get the best of him.

“Eric?” The boy looked over to Kyle, watching as he chewed on his cheek, scratching at the heat burning on his face, “... Thank you. I uhm… I’m lookin’ forward to it. Ya know?” Eric snickered some, clapping the jewish boy on the back.

“You’re a piece of work. C’mon. Let’s get some champagne and see if we can’t accidently catch ourselves under a mistletoe or something.” Kyle spluttered out a laugh, letting Eric lead him down into the grass to mingle with their friends. He braced onto the jacket and breathed in the warmth and the smell of Eric’s pomegranate cologne.

He shut his eyes, standing beside Eric in front of the fire, not putting up any sort of a fight as he felt the others fingers testingly wrap around his own.

The holiday season had been great, but more than anything, Kyle was looking forward to what the New Year would be bringing.