#i used that apostrophe wrong oops

[tathrin]

#yeah kiss my entire ass cormac mccarthy What's up with Cormac Mccarthy? I've only seen some of the movies based on his books. Are his westerns hollow or something?

Ohhh ha ha ha so. This may not even be entirely his fault? I don't actually know enough about him and his writing to say for sure, because the one book of his that I did read filled me with so much rage that I would sooner set myself on fire than read another.

I was in college (art school, majoring in comic books) and I took all the writing classes that I could squeeze into my schedule because I love writing too (storytelling is where my heart lies, and I thought I would do that with pictures at first, but turns out I actually like writing prose more, oops). Well, my Creative Writing professor had clearly ended up at the wrong school somehow and was deeply frustrated about it — because let us just say that most of the kids at this school were not in my boat re: love of writing, and they only took classes like these because they needed a few non-art credits to graduate.

So the level of interest/talent he got out of his students was mediocre at best. (They weren't there to write, they were there to draw or sculpt or design. Of course 98% of them were half-assing or less their non-art classes.) So he was really excited to have someone who liked writing and was good at it and was excited to be there...!

But. he liked Literature. And only Literature. And I used the Capital L there on purpose, because he was one of those folks where you can just HEAR the sneer when he says "gen-re fic-tion," you know? Looked waaaaaay down his nose at all the stuff that I would consider actually good and interesting books in favor of Boring Person In Boring Life Does Boring Thing That Changes Nothing About Boring World, Wow What A Commentary On The Human Condition That Was! So Deep! Much Thought! etc type books.

(So you can see what I thought of the stuff he liked, too.)

So here I am, turning in all these stories with spaceships and witches and robots and shit and it's the best writing he's gotten from one of his students in years. He's thrilled! ...and so distressed because Why Won't I Write Real Stories? I could be Such A Great Writer if I would just get over my interest in this Genre Stuff! Woe! Alas! Weeping! etc. Someday I'll Grow Out Of It, Surely, Because I'm So Talented! All that jazz.

He wasn't a dick about it; he was actually a very nice fellow. We were COMPLETELY incompatible, but he was nice and so I tried to be nice in turn even as I gave my very honest opinions about all the boring-af shit he had us reading lmao.

So, I'm being A Good Sport about it every time he assigns his Boring-AF Projects where I'm not allowed to put in rayguns and magic swords and alien species and all the stuff that makes writing fun. But I still put in effort, and turn in good (if boring-af) pieces, and participate in class (and argue very politely for The Merits Of Genre Fiction), etc etc. He's delighted to have me, and I have no doubt that I was one of his favorite students ever, even though I had Shit Taste In Books. So he decides he's going to give me a treat! He's going to make our next assigned book a Genre Book! I'm going to be Delighted!

He assigns us Cormac McCarthy's The Road. I don't know if you've ever read it, but: don't. It was intolerable. Second-worst book I've ever read. It's a Post-Apocalypse story about some dude and his kid walking across the world to...idk. Walk? Be a Metaphor? I don't fucking know. Nobody has a name because That's Deep. And because we're being extra deep, we're going to Write Badly On Purpose because it symbolizes the Breakdown Of Society!

And by "written badly on purpose," I mean we're throwing out the entire concept of Writing So Your Shit Can Be Read By Human Eyes.

Apostrophes no longer exist! Commas hardly do either! Or sentences! Or quote marks! Or any form of useful punctuation whatsoever! Just a bunch of either fragments or endless run-ons trudging away into the abyss until you're ready to throw your soul down there with them just to fucking escape. Paragraph breaks only happen when a scene changes! Your eyes skitter-off the page as though it was coated with teflon, your energy sinking into a bleak grey misery that isn't even alert enough to qualify as despair. Every section leaves you a little less alive than before. This is drudgery, the very concept of dullness distilled into ink and printed out for all to read and suffer. I give you an except, but I don't suggest you actually read it because I'm not that cruel:

Oh my gods it was unreadable. I think my eyes actually bled. And to make it even more of a slog, it was clearly written by some dumb-fuck who'd never actually read any post-apocalyptic stories, and thought that he was Far Too Clever to need to do any actual research on the genre that he was "elevating" with his "literary style" or what-the-fuck-ever, because every character in it was so bum-fucking stupid that there was NO WAY any of them would have lived five minutes in an actual fucking wasteland. Also every single Wasteland Cliche that you can imagine, without a drop of originality or subversion or even lampshading or clever commentary or anything. It was all just...there. In the shallowest, blandest way possible.

(He also never actually defined or even hinted at What Happened, I presume because he was too dumb to figure out a backstory this was Literature and not Genre and thus Proper World Building Wasn't Necessary Because This Was A Metaphor Or Something idk fuck it. Like...sometimes there were gas-masks? but also people didn't need them? and there didn't seem to be radiation in a way that hurt anybody, but there also seemed to be Radiation Aesthetics going on...? It was just. so badly done.)

And our protagonists were SO stupidly incompetent. Just, complete idiocy, countered with Incredibly Convenient Random Happenstances (you would not believe how many Untouched But Easily Accessible Stashes Of Food these fuckers stumbled over oh my gods) to save their asses from their self-inflicted imminent death over and over and over again. An absolute travesty of a book, written in the worst fashion possible.

Needless to say, the essay I turned in on the book tore it about seven new ones. I SHREDDED it from first word to closing paragraph. Did not find one single redeeming or enjoyable thing about that clusterfuck of a "story" (and I use the term loosely) and I made sure everyone knew it. I wasn't shy about my opinion of the arrogant asshole who wrote it, either, and what I thought of the choices he'd made in writing that way, and the lack of talent and intelligence he'd demonstrated throughout.

My poor professor was devastated. He'd thought this would be my favorite book of the whole class! He picked it especially for me, as a treat! And I LOATHED it. (I hadn't realized it was supposed to be a gift to before I wrote the essay, or I probably would have been gentler in my disassembling of it. But I only discovered that when he handed the essay back. Poor man. I did feel a little bad about that. But oh my gods the book was horrible.)

So I have no idea what kind of author Cormac McCarthy is in general, or whether he's more tolerable (or even hypothetically enjoyable, I suppose) when he's writing whatever he does usually. This may be a complete outlier: an attempt to try something new (that failed abysmally) from a guy who normally writes Just Fine. I don't know! And I'm not interested in finding out, because to me he will always be the egotistical shithead who wrote the most spirit-draining, eye-torturing travesty of a book ever printed called The Road and he will not be forgiven for that crime.

[unseelie-bitch]

Season 4 Episode 13: The Wizards' Attack

[I'd like to take this oppurtunity to apologise for returning and then IMMEDIATELY dipping again lmao. I don't even have a reason this time I was just Tired and distracted by the Side Project that is still unready to be seen by the interwebs. Anywayyyy]

I'm fucking screaming there's a TYPO IN THE TITLE THAT WAS AIRED WITH THIS EPISODE. LIKE. IN THE TITLE CARD THINGY. Idk why I find this so funny but I ABSOLUTELY do. The Wizards' Attak. The important thing is, they got the apostrophe in the right place

Oh my god it's been so long I fully FORGOT THEY MAYBE KILLED THE DOG. BITCH YOU CAN'T KILL THE ANIMALS THAT'S MY ONE RULE

Sky just fkin growled bitch wtf

Rip Timmy

Really don't know how the specialists thought this fight was going to go. Like. The winx are so much more powerful than you and the wizards keep beating them so. In what world would this have worked

Ugh. "zoomix"

I'm actually so sick of Roxy now like. You were always a fairy. The winx didn't make you a fairy. They also didn't kill ya dog. That was the wizards, who were coming after you anyway. Please stop pulling the "I love magic! I hate magic! I love magic! I hate magic!" Every other episode it's getting real old real fast

"A fairy always lives for others, she never lives for herself" bro that's such a toxic mindset. I mean, we already knew Bloom needed therapy but damn

Forgot about Helia's mullet. Bro why

Anagan has such vibes. Just chillin in a tree. Icon

"You're the one who needs help, fairy!" Bro you are legit hanging upside down she's clearly winning

Oop Helia spoke to soon. You did your best, my son

Oh god edgy Timmy shot reveals his insecurity is being called a coward. Bro chill

Rip Timmy for the second time today

Oop Techna saved her bf it's okay lads

She's dead now nvm

Stella wrecked this man

Oop fake!Brandon battle

Riven really gave up on Brandon immediately lmao

Top!Brandon is making her cry

WAYO real Brandon was winning the Brandon Battle anyway what an icon

Riven you moron

Why the fuck was this man cracking his WRISTS

Meanwhile, on a train for some reason, Sky, Nabu and Aisha are not having a good time

The poorly integrated 3D is such a choice for them to make. I wish they hadn't

STOP THROWING MAGIC AT THIS MAN IT LITERALLY HASN'T WORKED ONCE IN THIRTEEN EPISODES

Oh yeah. Leave it to the child. Let the magic lady have control again

Oh shit Bloom's dead now. Yikes

"She fainted" lmao just in case we thought that was an actual on-screen death

Sir. Sir I appriciate that you're trying to be a good dad but you just watched him beat Bloom. Very easily. She has magic and you're just Some Guy how was this ever going to work

Roxy's sleeves are just SUCH a choice

Love that Stella had a whole crisis about fake!Brandon meanwhile Musa hears one sentence from fake!Riven and immediately calls bullshit. She fully yeeted him into the wall like what an icon

SHADE but like. She's not wrong

OOP RANDO VISION LADY

Feel like you could have come to help at ANY time but alright

The real villainy was in the property damage we caused along the way

This women is immediately on board with fairies. Fair enough

"I believe it! Fairies are among us!" *among us imposter sound effect plays*

Did I completely forget about the pixies and the tree of life? Yes absolutely, no memories have been stored

Stella would NEVER photobomb her friends with a pig face. It should have been a peace sign. She has the energy and no, I don't take constructive critisim

[lihikainanea]

Vibe of the Week 06/08

First off, I am happy to announce that the very second Live Tarot Hour will be this Friday, 11 September. It’ll start at 8PM ADT, 7PM EST, 5PM PT, and gah just figure out your time zone from that. I really enjoyed the last one we did, and it’s great practice. I’ll post the rules later on this week, most will be the same as last time but this round I’ll be accepting questions in advance--that was selfish of me last time, for all my bubs in wayyyyy different time zones who weren’t awake when it started and couldn’t submit a question.

As always, you can blacklist #tarot or #Lei does tarot if you don’t want to see.

Now, on to business.

Ah, dat Full Moon vibes from last week. Real talk it gave me some crazy energy, just some weird things I couldn’t shake, and kicked off a whole week’s worth of odd dreams and weird premonitions and dug up a whole bunch of shit from my past and threw it at me.

Including Photographer Boy, if we can count him as being part of my past? He seems to stay pretty...current. And he was being real sweet to me over the weekend, and just being the Good Dude I know he can be, and like a moron that somehow erases all the copious times he was a dick. Ugh, Lei you’re smarter than this.

Double ugh, I’m mad at myself.

In any case, last week we spoke about action, but also about the need to kind of....hold off. That maybe now is not the time to go after that big thing, because there are too many little things happening for you, maybe you’re not in the frame of mind or heart that you NEED to be in to go after what you’re going after, and have it work out. The universe works in many ways and often times if she sees us running headfirst into a wall, she might hold us back a bit. It’s for our own benefit.

You may have noticed, too, that in English I tend to have trouble with homonyms. Nose and knows. Seize and cease. I know the difference between all the there/they’re/theirs but the apostrophe one still fucks me up because I think it’s possessive instead of they are. In any case, I ended the reading last week on a resounding note that what is truly meant for us will be there, waiting to be...ahem...ceased. Oops. I obviously meant seized (I think?) and I’ve corrected it now.

LE SORRY.

The decks this week: Moonology for Oracle, and the Wheel of Fortune for Tarot.

The Oracle of the week is the Supermoon:

I didn’t pull this one, it jumped out at me as I was shuffling.

Look, can I just say that it does wonders for my confidence as a reader, as the granddaughter of a great woman and a steward of part of the great family history, when I FEEL my intuition tell me something is off, and then it gets proven right? Look, intuition is hard. My intuition is hard. I just tend to think very differently from the masses and it’s incredibly frustrating, because I’ll see something and observe it my way and everybody else seems to be on a different page and it’s just...you feel crazy. I feel like I spend at least 1/3 of my life going “Are you all PRETENDING not to see this? This is a joke, right? Or shit, you really think that? Oh fuck...”

I KNEW something was supercharged with that damn moon last week.

The affirmation: Emotions are running high

Words to meditate on: emotional balance, yin and yang, peace, quiet mind, look closer at the obvious, opportunity.

That thing last week, that the universe told us to back the fuck up on for a sec? This may be the week we’re allowed to charge forward and pursue it. The Supermoon is supercharged, emotions are high but they’re positive--this is a rare moon, one that tells us that the answer is right under our nose. There’s opportunity here, rare opportunity, whether that’s the solution to your challenges or something new and exciting altogether. The Supermoon is when a new moon or a full moon happens at the moon’s closest point to Earth--so the universe is rooting for us, she’s with us on this. Don’t blow anything out of proportion, don’t fucking ignore the obvious in search of something better, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other because your path now leads you to something real exciting.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Everybody say hi to my grandmother, kids. Because she’s definitely smirking over my shoulder for this reading. Hiiiiiiiiiiiii Lei’s grandmother, definitely the HWIC and one of the most powerful matriarchs of the Stregoneria in Sicily.

Good to see you again, Nonna.

1) Ten of Wands

2) Eight of Wands

3) Five of Wands

4) Queen of Wands

5) Knight of Wands

Overarching theme: the Moon (Major Arcana).

Hahahahahaha oh god I’m still laughing.

All Wands this week. Wands are the action cards, the “go out and get’er done” Suit, the fire Suit in all its glory and horror, so it looks like the universe has opened the barriers that she put around us last week. Not only did she open the barriers but she gave us a one hour pep talk, she brushed our hair, she told us how pretty we were, she poured 397587568458 tons of sugar down our throat, blasted gangsta rap, got us all ragey, showed us the target, slapped our ass--and then she opened the barriers.

Full steam ahead. 

Look, keep the overarching theme of the Moon in mind. Keep your fucking eyes open, and--like the Oracle says--look for the obvious, it’s right in front of you. The Moon speaks of deception, of hidden ways, of secrets, of dual personalities. Of trickery. Bear in mind that interactions you may have this week, people you may encounter--they may be trying to trick you, they may be trying to deceive you. Don’t let this hinder your interactions and don’t close yourself off, just keep this tidbit in the back of your mind so that there are no surprises.

I think the reason why the universe held us back last week is simply because we just had too much. The ten of Wands speaks of a need for reduction--reducing workload, reducing emotional stress, in general just....letting things go. Let it go. It’s too heavy, there’s too much, and it’s just impossible to carry. Trim the fat and just bring it back to the basics--surround yourself with a few people who make you feel good. Reduce your amount of stuff. Know when you’re beat at work, and ask for help. Reduce the space in your mind that you give to worry and anxiety and increase the space you give to things that make you feel good. We had too much last week, and the universe saw that we were just too exhausted to go after what we wanted but we are too stubborn to not go after it, because we are taught from a young age that opportunity is rare and we need to take it.

Opportunity is only as rare as you make it. When you look for opportunity, you will find it. Stop looking, then you stop finding.

And you know that old adage, that an arrow needs to be pulled back before it is launched forward? That’s where we’re at. The Eight of Wands is the most dynamic card in the deck, moving forward at fast speeds. It bears in mind the need to keep lines of communication open--and the Five of Wands, a battle, warns us of the consequence if we don’t. The Five of Wands is the bar fight that we don’t know why we’re in. The Five of Wands is us getting drunk and belligerent as shit, starting something with somebody who didn’t even look at us funny but we thought they did. Calm down--emotions are high, remember? Don’t start shit. It’s not worth it, and you’re likely wrong in the situation anyway. 

Communicate instead. You know people may be trying to deceive you, which already gives you the upper hand. You don’t need to smash a pool cue over their head.

Balance, kids. The Queen of Wands is there to reinforce that message. Dis bitch--I love dis bitch, she’s so much better than the Queen of Cups--love and sensuality, fire and ice, the balance of fiery passion and emotional balance that results in this incredible, never-ending burning ember that will just keep smouldering. And the thing with an ember is it can turn into a full fledged fire at any second, and it can also light other fires. You’re on the right path, kids. And not only are you on the right path, people are watching and you’re inspiring them too. Be loyal to yourself, know your path, and off you go.

And remember--dat Moon Major Arcana Energy, echoed here in the final card of the Knight of Wands--do not seek vengeance over those who deceived you. But don’t forget, either.

TL;DR: Deception is at play this week, evidenced in the Moon and ending in the Knight of Wands. Be aware--don’t let it make you bitter, but be aware. Communication is key as you surge forward here, and it can help you avoid a lot of conflict that doesn’t have to happen if you’re just open and honest. Don’t ignore the obvious, make sure you create an environment where you can succeed, eliminate that which you do not need--and rage on, you fucking flame of awesomeness.

[heartriki]

thank you for tagging me @burnthoneymint !!!!!

name: lulu (technically has apostrophes after both “u” but for simplicity’s sake...)

nicknames: im a man of many names.... lool (the fool), procyon, proc (the croc) (as in both the shoe brand and the animal), lol, lul, goos, hurricane, many more, so many more, so many fuckin names

gender: nonbinary, she/her or they/them

star sign: libra

current time: as im doing this... around 10:00 pm

favorite artists: like... artists, or song artists? either way i dont rly have favourites oops

favorite song: currently; u got it by x1 (yes im extremely late to this, move on)

song stuck in my head: i'm here for you by x1

last movie i saw: i... honestly have no clue

last thing i googled: “castlevania season 3″ bc ive heard not so great things abt it and im too scared to watch this season bc it might ruin the entire series for me

other blogs: os-rosae... originally i was gonna use it for my oc’s and for writing but now it’s become an aesthetic blog

main blog: this one

do you get asks: literally like once in a month, and its usually mutuals sending positive chains which make me *UWU*

reason for my url: the pronounciation of procyon! bc i kept pronouncing it wrong... pro-SEE-uhn, not pro-SAI-uhn

average amount of sleep: like... 6 hrs? either 4 or 8 on a bad day

currently wearing: gray graphic tee and dark blue pijama (pyjama?) pants with minnie mouse down the leg in bold fuckin letters

dream job: i dont dream of labour

dream trip: ANYWHERE

favorite food: does chocolate milk count as a food? if not, spaghetti (specifically home made tuna spaghetti)

instruments: i can sorta play the melodica? kinda? not really but... kinda. and a tambourine? a little? i have no rhythm

tagging: @ayakashi-chan + @cherriiology + @ayakashi-chan (if yall wanna)

[moderndaybard]

CR Inktober, Day 15

SELF-INSERT NPC: ANTONIA MARSHSTEAD

 The town was not unimpressive—indeed, was increasing in populace and prosperity at such a rate, it could probably be deemed a city in the next year or two. Still, there wasn’t any reason for Vox Machina to be there, other than that it was a stop on the way to where they were going, and a convenient place to drink and stay the night.

Still, there were a few hours left before businesses close dup for the day, and despite protests from Grog, Vex was on the hunt for interesting finds and bargain prices.

Asking around after magical items and weapons, the group of adventurers found themselves directed to an unassuming, two-story building that didn’t really stand out too much from the local architecture, bearing a sign that declared it was ‘Marshteads’ Magicks,’ and that it was, in fact, still open for business late that afternoon.

The door opened noiselessly, no bell or chime announcing their arrival, and not a floorboard creaked as they strode in to the well-lit interior.

Sunlight streamed in from the two large, street-facing windows, revealing a neat and orderly main area which smelled faintly of lavender and cedar. The store interior, as well as the counters and display shelves were all made of a light-colored wood that gleamed dimly with their finish and the golden afternoon light. There was an open main area; two window displays flanking the door to the street, where various pieces of (presumably enchanted) jewelry were visible; left of the entrance was a glass-and-wood display case of small weapons: daggers, hand crossbows, blots, arrows, a light weight rapier, and the like, with larger weapons such as great swords and battle axes on shelves and pegs on the wall behind; on the right side of the store was another display case, this one filled with an odd assortment of household sundries, knick-knacks, and generally useful items (there were no shelves or wall displays on this side, but half-hidden in the far corner behind the case was what appeared to be a sort of work table with various sewing tools, some yarn, and a few toys on it); finally, facing the door across the floor was a plain, uncluttered counter with no displays—evidently, where sales were finalized.

Aside from the street door, the main room had two other entrances: one open archway to the right, just beside the worktable, that revealed a set of stairs ascending to the second floor, and a closed, heavy wooden door in the wall behind the sales counter.

The store seemed empty, even of people running it, save for a handsome red fox curled up on the sales counter, half-asleep and ignoring Vox Machina, for the moment. With a gasp of delight and absolutely no hesitation, Keyleth ran up to the creature, all but putting her head on the counter beside him. “Hi!” she chirped, fixated on the furry animal as one eye slitted halfway open to regard her levelly. “I’m Keyleth! What’s your name?”

The fox stretched, sat up, scanned their group, and turned with deliberate nonchalance to the stairs beyond the archway before screeching loudly.

Seconds later (while their ears were still ringing) pounding footsteps on the stairs heralded a new arrival: grumbling half-hearted, half-heard curses under her breath, a female dwarf rounded the corner. Her dark hair was pulled back in a simple braid, her grey eyes peered at them from behind a pair of glasses, though she seemed to only be in her young adulthood, and she was dressed simply: tunic, vest, skirt, leggings, boots.

As she approached the counter (stepping up on some sort of boost or stool that was hidden behind it), her scolding became audible: “—too much trouble to just walk up the stairs to let me know someone was here? Just had to screech like a tortured demon and scare customers? And you wonder why Henry doesn’t take you when he goes to negotiate with suppliers.”

The fox merely hopped off the counter on her side, vanishing from view briefly, then darting up the stairs. Tirade over with the disappearance of its target, the young dwarf woman focused on the party before her, scowl melting into an apologetic half-grin. “Sorry about that: familiars can get cranky during extended separations, and Fabian’s always been overly dramatic anyway. Anyhow, welcome to Marshteads’ Magicks—are you in the market for anything in particular, or just looking to browse?”

The final sentence was undoubtedly a rehearsed, often-delivered script, but to her credit, the young woman mustered or at least feigned a genuine enough tone that gave them the feel of natural dialogue.

Before Vex could answer, Keyleth broke in with something that’d been bothering her since first approaching the store: “Did you know that your sign is messed up? The apostrophe is wrong, and it’s misspelled?”

“The sign is correct,” came the immediate reply, in a tone that this was a correction she’d had to make a few too many times for her patience, but didn’t want to completely alienate potentially paying customers, “Marshstead is the family name, and since my brother and I run the store together, both plural and possessive are correct.” She then deflated somewhat, glancing away in a moment of embarrassment, perhaps? “…And the ‘K’ is just for flare.”

“Showmanship is an important facet of salesmanship,” Percy ranted, hoping to placate the woman before she took out any ill-will on the prices. “Though I must say the aesthetic is more reserved than I wouldn’t expected in such an establishment.”

The young woman glanced around, nodding. “Organized, you mean? Neat? That’s on me: I can’t think or work in a cluttered area. Hence avoiding the workshop as much as possible.”

“You don’t perform the enchantments yourself, then?” Vex asked, looking up form the bowstring and arrows she’d been examining out of professional interest.

“Oh, that’s Henry’s field,” came the quick answer. “He’s the craftsman, I handle the storefront for him. Is there anything in particular I can help you with or help you find? Any questions?”

Pike looked up from the display case she’d been staring into. “Uh, Miss—?”

“Sorry: Antonia. And you?”

“Pike Trickfoot. Antonia, why is there a frying pan in the case with the weapons?”

There same a genuine, if half-embarrassed chuckle in response to that question. “That started as… Well, not a joke, really. When we were younger, someone made an insulting comment about Henry’s skill with magic and enchantments, and told them he was could make even a cast-iron skillet into a powerful magical weapon. Turns out he overheard that conversation, and remembered it. So, he made this: it’s a magical bludgeoning weapon not dissimilar to a great club or the like. Additionally, it deals an extra kick of fire damage upon a successful hit. It is a two-handed weapon and requires attunement, but once it is attuned, anyone else who tried to pick it up finds it too warm to the touch to handle—so, generally thief-proof. Unless you use an oven mitt or the like, I suppose.”

“Anything else it can do?” Vax asked, half-joking. Antonia had rattled off the weapon’s attributes with the ease of someone who knew them by heart, but also with genuine pride at her brother’s accomplishment—unusual as it was.

“Well, any food prepared in it does cook twice as quickly—but that can be a good or bad thing, depending on how close an eye you keep on your dinner.”

Vex blinked, then shook her head—the thing was almost too ridiculous not to get, to say nothing of the mental image of a monster’s expression roughly half a second before it got hit by a frying pan. “How much for it?” she offered, haggling mode already engaged.

Antonia didn’t hesitate. “750 gold.”

“For a frying pan!?” The half-elf fired back, ignoring whoever it was behind her that groaned (probably Grog).

“For a cast iron pan with two magical enchantments upon it—enchantments that had to be uniquely crafted in order to adhere to a non-traditional weapon.”

Vex raised an eyebrow at the dwarf. “it’s essentially and enchanted household object,” she pointed out, then watched as the other woman’s expression darkened. Oops.

Nearly all trace of the ‘saleswoman’ persona had vanished. “Degrading my brother’s time, effort, creativity, and craftsmanship will not incentivize me to lower the price.” Arms folded, her glare dared the ranger to make the next move.

“Fair point,” Vex had to grant, quickly changing tactics before she drove the price up. “How much could you come down if we told anyone that asked about this unique item all about this shop and the master craftsman who made it? And your brother could tell people that not only did he make a frying pan a weapon, he also sold it to none other than Vox Machina!”

Silence stretched on for a moment or two.

“725.”

“675 at the most,” vex shot back.

Antonia raised one eyebrow, arms still folded. “You can hardly expect to persuade me to cheat my own brother out of the rightful reward for his work.”

They were a few moments away form meeting at 700, Vex could tell—they simply had to finish out the final few steps of their dance. Despite the growing impatience from the group at her back (at least, from some of them), Vex’ahlia did exactly that. The gold changed hands (700) and the enchanted cooking pan was handed over.

A discussion soon arose over which of them could and should wield it, but Vex ignored that part—she was hardly a candidate for what was very obviously a strength-based melee weapon—and scanned the shop again. This time, a glimpse of something small and brown on the corner worktable caught her eye.

“Is that an owl bear toy?”

Antonia followed her gaze, her entire demeanor shifting towards something that could almost be described as awkward hesitancy. “I-uh- have been teaching myself crochet on days when the store is slow. It’s relaxing, honestly. But, yes, I have been working on some small toys and the like…”

“May I see it?” Vex asked, feeling Vax move up behind her as he overheard the conversation.

Antonia blinked, obviously caught off-guard. “Uh, sure…” she muttered at last, crossing to the table and retrieving the item in question before returning.

It was small—not quite as big as Vex’s fist—and was certainly a stylized, simplified representation that was cuter than it was accurate. The craftsmanship was hardly masterful, either: while Antonia was obviously not clumsy or a rank novice, there were still a few visible imperfections. Still, there was an undeniable charm to the little doll, and with one shared look, the twins were of one mind.

“Do you sell these?” Vax asked. Upon seeing the dwarf hesitate, he continued, “if not, I understand—sometimes you just make things for yourself or have sentimental attachments.”

“I-I don’t mind selling it. I just figured no one would really want it. …I just needed something to keep busy…”

Vex beamed at the suddenly-flustered shop keep. “Well, we know one little girl in particular who would just adore this little fellow—she’s obsessed with owl bears. How much for the little cutie?”

For the first time since the entered the little shop, Vox Machina saw absolute uncertainty cross Antonia’s face as she fumbled for a fair price.

“Uh… three copper?”

This time, it was Vax’s turn to protest. “For a one-of-a-kind, hand-crafted piece?”

“It-it’s not magical, and it’s just yarn and some stuffing,” Antonia pointed out weakly, all her earlier confidence gone.

Vax shook his head. “But the time this would’ve taken to make—one silver at least,” he replied, ignoring the glare Vex was directing at him for this oddly-reversed negotiation.

The ranger turned to the dwarf, wondering if this was an intentional technique to drive up the price, but no—the embarrassment, hesitance and uncertainty were genuine, she could see. Clearly, Antonia was far more comfortable negotiating on her brother’s behalf than her won, and something about knowing that made Vex feel momentarily fond of the other girl—or at least, like she could understand her.

And, in the grand scheme of things, considering their current financial status, what was a silver piece? Velora would be happy with the gift, and perhaps a fledgling craftswoman would get a confidence boost.

“I-I guess…”

…

The town was hardly important, and the Marshstead siblings would likely never gain fame of any import, much less cross Vox Machina’s path again, but at least both parties felt, at their parting, as though a fair bargain had been reached without coming to the point of either hating or permanently angering the other.

And, really, what more can you ask from a retail transaction?

 (AN: Sorry for the length/focus on the dreaded shopping trip. But currently, too much of my time is swallowed by a retail job, and I wanted to redeem it a little—better a family-run enchanted item shop than a generic thrift store. And, no, I have no idea what a fair price is in D&D, I did the best I could with the research I had. But now I kinda want that pan to be a thing somewhere—or is it too ridiculous for a +1 magic (great club, re-skinned as a pan) that deals bonus 1d4 fire damage?)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[twogoliathbeetles]

22 Questions (although i think it’s 21 somehow oops)(however knowing me i’ve managed to count completely wrong so sorry).

thank you to @whatcanisayimgay and also @vikingqueer for tagging me! 

RULES: simply answer the following 22 q’s and then tag 22 (or however many) people you’d love to get to know more!

Name: Nel.

Zodiac sign: pisces.

Height: 4foot11 (idk the imperial system well enough for the apostrophes/speechmarks and also i’ve already had to look up 5 foot minus an inch).

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff.

Last thing I googled: Helium molecule bc chemistry homework :(

Favourite musician: mika or mitski, but atm i’m really enjoying albums by alt-j, belle and sebastian, tom rosenthal, and hozier. also love george michael ‘n wham, and tracy chapman, and gerard way ‘n mcr.

Last song I listened to: lose it by swmrs.

Song stuck in my head: nobody by mitski.

Followers: idk right now i would look but it’s effort.

Following: over 420 bc i remember thinking nice and then being sad bc i’d gone over.

Amount of sleep: anywhere between 5 and 12 hours but not usually a nice amount, today i think about 5andahalf to 6?

Lucky number: don’t have one but it used to be 13 and then i got scared of it cuz i’m kinda superstitious (but also 27,, it’s a nice cube).

What I’m wearing: jeans and a shirt that looks like something colin firth’s mr darcy would wear esp at that bit he jumps into the lake.

Dream job: farmer, comic book illustrator, physicist. probably going to end up as a sad businessman but one can dream.

Dream trip: madagascar bc i love love love lemurs, or edinburgh bc from what i remember from when i was eight it’s the best place (may be bc i was visiting my brother when we went but also the buildings are the right colour etc).

Favourite food: there’s very little excuse for this, but plain pasta with ham and cheese. i’m sorry it just tastes known and i’m so picky it’s awful.

Instruments: violin (used to play piano but i couldn’t coordinate my hands or read bass clef so it ended after about 2, 3 years).

Languages: only english but i’m learning french, and i want to learn spanish maltese german and arabic (also learnt russian for 2 years and got nowhere, but i can mostly still read the alphabet).

Favorite song: atm my wandering days are over by belle and sebastian, of all time oh girl you’re the devil by mika.

Aesthetic: haha it’s a word i could interpret in about 3 ways that are wrong, i love that for me. i guess cottagecore or something? but i’m really grasping at straws as to what this means so...

Random fact: I only get out of bed on one side, cuz when i was little my mum would tell me that i had got out of the wrong side of bed if i was grumpy, and somehow i decided that there was only one ok side, and if i got out from either the bottom or the other side it would be bad luck.

i tag: @little-irish-rabbit @bbberrypop @juiciestjesus, @highschoolmusical2isunderrated @badicarus @metanoiqra @iankabra @useleslesbian @thatrandomcoolblog @kami-catharsis @97cookies, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[doctorroseprompts]

10/2 Tentoo’s Day!

It’s time to celebrate our favorite metacrisis! Join us October 2 for a day of fic, art, gifs, videos, playlists, manips, edits… whatever fanworks you create.

How do I participate? Use the tag #tentoosday (no apostrophe) to tag your work as part of the event. You can @-mention us at @doctorroseprompts and tag us too (#doctorroseprompts) to make sure we see it and reblog it.

I’m nervous I don’t know enough about Tentoo. That’s ok, Skyler has a handy list of meta links in her Fandom Guide here (x).

Why now? Here in the US, the date is 10/2 because unlike everyone else in the world, we put the month first and the day second. (Yes, we are willing to do this again in February for all the non-US people out there.)

Alright, I’m ready! Where are my prompts? Glad you asked! Right under the cut. Here we go:

Ten dropped them off in the right time and place… right?

What happens if this Bad Wolf Bay isn’t in the right time period?

Or it’s actually not Bad Wolf Bay in Norway at all, just a beach that looks the same!  

Wrong planet. Oops.

Wrong parallel universe! What if there’s another Doctor and Rose (and Jackie!) in this one?  

This universe/Earth/London is slightly different… What’s changed?

This universe has soulmates (ties in with September’s prompt!)

London is layed out differently and Tentoo gets lost

Little things: food, zeppelin ports instead of airports, clothing sizes and Tentoo thinks he’s shrunk/gained weight

Growing the baby TARDIS

Unusual techniques the coral requires...

Something goes wrong! Can they save her?

What shape does she take?

Working on the TARDIS together

Pete’s World Torchwood

Tentoo is often written as a scientist working in research and development. What’s an invention gone wrong? Alien tech that isn’t what it appears to be?

Alien adventures in the field/running for their lives just like old times

Workplace romance (feel free to make this as innocent or as adult as you wish)

Domestics

Where do they live? House? Flat? With Jackie and Pete?!

Do they get married?

How does one propose to the other?

Do they have kids? How Gallifreyan are they?

Learning to live together again now that they’ve changed while apart/in a not-bigger-on-the-inside space while the TARDIS grows

And, of course, any other Tentoo x Rose ideas you can think of are great! Remember our prompts never expire so if 10/2 isn’t a good day for you, feel free to post it earlier or later. We’re always happy to have more Tentoo, whatever the date! 

[fraudulence-paradox]

01/31/2021

So this is sort of weird but, I found this box of old letters from my exes. Only from M---- and K----y. I’m not sure why I kept M----’s, but then, I was going to throw them out, but I just couldn’t. Maybe after this I’ll be able to. It’s so fucking stupid that I cant. It makes me mad. I’m just too nostalgic for the past. For the past me, not even for the past them. I just liked who I was better 4 years ago than I do now. But anyway. To maybe help me get rid of them, I wanted to document what they said here so they wouldn’t be totally lost no matter what happened.

M----’s letters were pretty sparse. The first is from when she first moved to FL when we were dating for the winter season to go do her horse stuff. The second is from that same stint in FL (we only dated for like 1.5 years) and basically says “I miss you, sorry the letter isn’t longer, but I’m busy”. So, yeah. Probably gonna toss those now.

The ones from K----y feel different. Different because we were so young and dumb and stupid and thought we were in love. And they just get sadder and sadder as they go on. I’ll put them all here, in chronological order, with dates if applicable, or my best guess:

Letter 1:

5/9/12 (that’s all it says)

[I wrote this so I wouldn’t forget our anniversary. It doesn’t really count, but I thought I’d include it.]

Letter 2:

circa September 2012

I know I’ve already told you this a hundred times, but a hundred times more you’ll have to hear it. You are the luckiest and greatest thing to ever happen to me. You’re just so perfect and amazing and smart and gorgeous that it’s still so hard to believe that you’re even mine. I love you. I love you and I’ll never stop. I will love you forever no matter what. For real though, every time I look at you it’s like I just completely want to be burst with how much love I have for you. And because of how cute and insanely gorgeous you are, but mostly from love. You really are extremely attractive though, and I don’t know if you believe me or see it or whatever but you really are. I still haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly what it is about you that makes you look that way, but I think it’s either your eyes or your smiles. You’ve got an absolutely flawless smile. That alone can just make me happier than anything. Same with your laugh. Like when you are laughing, really honestly laughing, its just, god, the most crazy awesomest thing I’ve ever heard. I actually can’t even begin to describe how happy it makes me. I love you. I never want to go back to what everything was like before I met you. Oh and apart from all this stuff, you’re like the first person I have met so far that actually looks beyond the surface. That is the one quality in a person that I had above all the others. (wow I’m starting to get ranty and repetitive). Well anyway, my point is you are completely irreplaceable to me. I’ll never stop being completely in love with you. You are my whole existence and I know that whatever happens, I’ll be fine as long as I have you.

With love, forever and always

-K----y

Letter 3:

circa January 2013?

So I just want to talk and talk and talk and never shut up because I’m just so stressed our right now you would never believe it. I’m not trying to worry you or anything. I just need to get something out before I burst.

I just actually can’t focus on anything right now I’m just like gah! And I have a headache and want to get up and wander around or something. I want to just get the fuck out like a seriously can’t handle this right now. It’s not even boredome it’s more of just, “oh my god I cant” like oppressive emptiness. No, not emptiness, more like nothingness? I don’t know how to explain it other than I just don’t want to sit around and listen to people talk. I think I want to be alone, but Ihave no idea and got theres nothing I can do but sit here and think about it. I want to go home but I don’t and seriously it’s just freakin me the fuck out. Oh my fuck I actually cant go home that wont help but I really don’t know what to do! Maybe I actually want to talk to people but no but yes. Too much energy. Can I just cry and break something? This is just way too much stress to be having on a Friday. I’m worrying so much about god knows what and holy hell I want to stop but I cant. I need to stop. Just stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop. That’s a funny word like top but with an s. What am I even doing serioiusly. This is just totally freaking me out ugh. Sorry, I’m really not trying to get you worried. Seriously. I just need to throw everything up out of my head.

I think I should do something when I get home like I don’t know, something other than watch TV or homework or draw or read because that will stress me out more. I don’t know what even seriously maybe you could tell me a story? Why am I even asking that… but seriously, I kinda want that. And I could watch the history channel or something but I just want to watch a history documentary. That’s actually what I want to do. And eat something like pasta or maybe a taco. I can paint my toenails maybe.. and clean my shoes. No just kidding I don’t want to do that. Tell me more about, I don’t know, everything. Please? Okay actually I’m feeling a little bit better now, but I need to keep writing until this class is over to make sure…

So I just went up to the teacher for her to check some stuff. No idea why you’d care about that but I had to say it. Einsam apparently means lonely. But it’s an annoying word because it looks like an indefinite article when it’s actually an adjective, I think? Not that I got that wrong on my work, because I did know that before, I was just saying. This is too easy but I still hate adjective endings. Whatever, it has to be done. I’d rather do this than go to government. Okay, I’m actually a lot more relaxed now. Ignore the front side of this paper; I couldn’t find any other. It’s relative clauses if you’re wondering.

Now I’m kinda hungry for a burger. Like really hungry for one… I should be finishing my work though… but no, I can do it for homework. I like having German homework. It makes me feel like I’m actually learning something. It’s the only thing in school so far that I’ll actually use later in life, and is fun. There's five minutes left. I don’t use apostrophes… is that a bad thing? [transcriber’s note: oops, I’ve been adding them back in] I think maybe it is. I don’t know if I’ll do anything about it though.

Yeah okay I feel so much better now. I don’t know if you should worry anymore. Maybe a little but I’m sorta good.

Okay, I love you! Gotta go!

Letter 4:

Circa January 2013?

I swear I could never tell you enough just exactly how much I love you, how much you mean to me. It just makes me want to hold you tight and completely melt into you so I’d never have to leave your warmth and never ending kindness and love. You’ve just made me happy and feel so much better. It’s like just seeing you can make my worries go away and I know that I can face anything the day throws at me. You have no idea how much that means to me. And god, you’ve seriously made me feel just so much better about myself. The way you seem to see my flaws as perfection (even though you argue that I have no flaws) is just… I seriously can’t tell you how that’s helped me. I love you so much. You’re like heaven rent or something, really. I don’t even get how you can see any imperfections in yourself, because honestly, you’re like exactly how a person should be. You have all the good qualities a human could ever possess. If everyone were like you, this world would be such a better place. But everyone is not like you so that makes you the rarest treasure of all. And you’re mine. You’re my treasure. Because of that, I will always keep you close and value everything about you and everything we share. Forever, until the day I die, and much longer.

With all my love,

K----y

Letter 5:

Circa October 2013

I’m sorry. For everything. Do you want me to step out of your life forever? Because if that’s what you need, I’ll do it for you. Sorry I couldn’t say this out loud. I’ll just end up crying if I do. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about this. I’m terribly sorry that I’m not perfect for you. I did my best, but I fucked up (even if you won’t say it). You deserve a less clingy and a smarter girl to be with. It’s so hard to say this because whether you like it or not, I’m still very much in love with you. I’ll still do anything for you. This is just so hard though… harder for me than for you, I know. But no matter what you want, I’m not going to be happy for a long time. I can’t get over you that fast. You still mean the world to me. I’m not going to be looking for anyone else for a couple years. At least until college or whatever. But regardless, nobody will be able to replace you, and I don’t mean getting married and stuff. Just little things. But it’s okay. It really is. Sorry to be bothering you more. I know that you just want to move on. I just wanted to say that I love you one last time.

Letter 6:

Circa November 2013

[Written on the outside of the folded note]

Please at least read this before you throw this out.

[Content of the note]

Hey I know that you’re pissed off at me for some reason and you want me to cut off all communication with you, but honestly I just want the awkwardness to go away. It truly doesn’t have to be this awkward. I’m just trying to be polite with you. Yeah, I know, I’m not one hundred percent over you, but I’m doing the best I can. I’m not trying to get with you, or break you and C---- up. I know that there’s absolutely nothing I can do about the situation, so I’m just trying to wait the pain out. I’m not waiting for you. The only reason why I hang out with your friends is because I like them. I’m really not trying to seduce you. If it hurts you too much to see me (which I seriously doubt since you’ve made it very clear how you feel about me and you’re so over it) then you need to man up and just tell me. Talking to me won’t be leading me on. I have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me so much. I’ve apologized and apologized and I seriously meant it. Yeah, I slipped up about the texting thing, but that won’t happen again. I don’t know your motives and they’re none of my business anymore, but please just be polite to me. If you’re truly upset with me, just tell me why. I’m not angry with you, I just seriously have no clue why you’re acting like I ruined your entire life. So please don’t be mad at me for giving you this. I don’t even need an answer.

I just don’t give much of a shit anymore. I know you’re never coming back and I know you’re much happier with C---- than you ever were with me. And that makes me happy. So I don’t care that you never want to see me again. Just please know that you don’t need to keep dragging this out. I just want to be friendly with you. So yeah.

I’m not trying to make you mad or annoy you, I swear it. I just felt like you needed to know. For my own sanity, as selfish as that is.

-from you know who