#i wanna shake them by the shoulders and show them just how horribly society treats soft victims too

[florenceisfalling]

its ok the situation is long behind me and i have never experienced a bad feeling about it ever 👍 (lying)

[lo-55]

Shattering Chains of Fate Ch. 16

(Not) One of Us

School started far too soon for Ichigo’s tastes.

He sits in the back of the room, with the doors within view and the windows to his left. He has two ways out and access to all entry points, in case something horrible happens. Hopefully it won’t, but it’s an old paranoia that keeps him on his toes.

His friends, thankfully, seem to be readjusting to life as humans. Uryu had taken hard to losing his powers, something that even Orihime couldn’t fix, but Ichigo had spoken to Ryuken about it after they got back and the man had had the strangest look in his eyes. Ichigo wasn’t too worried about him. Uryu was more temperamental and vicious than the rest of them, for all he seemed to be elegance incarnate. He was also more resilient than he looked.

He shouldn’t have to be. But Ichigo couldn't change that.

He was barely listening to their teacher talk about some new student when an awareness shot through him.

He sat up straighter when a young man walked into the room. Straight blond hair, a curved smile, and long limbs. He was fit and strong. He didn’t have much puppy fat, but he could have passed for someone held back a couple of years if it weren’t for his eyes.

  The eyes always give it away.  

They were playful, mischievous, and far too old to belong to a human.

Ichigo slammed his head onto his desk and ignored the startled squacks and stares from his neighbors. What the fuck is happening now? Can’t his life ever be normal?

He manages to hide a rueful smile. No, it can’t be normal. If it was normal, Ichigo would be a paranoid wreck. As long as strange, dangerous things were happening he knew he could handle whatever came at him.

Like the new kid was coming at him.

  Void dust, mirrors, sand storms.  

Ichigo lifts his head up to watch the new boy sit next to him. Shinji Hirako. He’d written his name backwards at the front of the room. For some reason Ichigo thinks of inverted pyramids.

He can tell, just by looking, this guy is trouble.

  Aren’t I trouble too?  

“Looks like I’ll be sitting next to you, Kurosaki. Let’s treat each other well.”

His smile is easy and his stance is confident, even when sitting.

Ichigo gives him a very pointed once over.

“Sure. Nice to meet you, Hirako.”

Ichigo manages to get halfway through the day before a hollow shows up and ruins it for him. He pops out of his body and leaves Kon to play student while he goes to take care of the issue and comes back. Three come throughout the day, more than there had been before Ichigo had left for Seireitei. It’s starting to tick him off.

It happens again while he’s doing his homework, only then he’s not alone.

Some dude with an afro interrupts him after it's dead. He shows him the badge Ukitake gave him, but apparently someone was pulling his leg. Or worse.

Ichigo is about to tell the shinigami where to shove it when his instincts scream at him and yank his hand around. Zangetsu sings when it collides with what would have cut deeply into Ichigo’s shoulder. A katana.

Ichigo doesn’t even pretend to be surprised by its owner.

“Hirako.”

The man grins like a cat.

Ichigo shoves him back to give himself room to breath. “When you said ‘take care of each other’ I didn’t know you meant like this,” Ichigo waves his hand at the two of them, swords drawn.

“What can I say. I wanted to see what ya would do,” Hirako is lazy and catlike as he prowls to the side. Ichigo keeps step opposite of him and the pair circle one another. “You should really lock your reiatsu down. You’ll attract unwanted attention this way.”

Ichigo scowls at him. “I am! This is as far down as it goes.” Kyo had gotten him to contain himself somewhere in Ohio, so he didn’t want another lecture on this!

“...Wow. Your control must suck worse than I thought.”

“You know what mother fucker-”

“Language! And here I was goin outta my way to be polite to ya,” Hirako said mournfully. He tapped the flat edge of his katana over his shoulder. He looked utterly at ease. Ichigo repressed a growl. It was for the best. The worse off Hirako thought he was the more of an upper hand Ichigo had.

“Uh huh,” Ichigo says dryly.

‘Ichigo,’ comes Medusa’s voice in his head.

  ‘Stay where you are. I’m fine for now. If anything happens, Achille’s can get to me in a second. He’s a Saber, for sure. You’re still a Lancer, not a Rider. You’re at a disadvantage where as I’m on even ground. Hold place.’

‘Right,’ all three chorus.

“I am!”

“Why don’t you just tell me what you came here for and we go back to being friendly,” Ichigo suggested. “Or we can keep fight, but we have to take it out of town. I’m not really…. Subtle.”

“No shit?” Hirako grins wider at him. “Alright, if ya wanna know so badly.”

He reached up and grasps the air just above his hairline before he pulls down-

A hollow mask.

Ichigo has no idea what to make of this. Kyo had said something about breaking down barriers with his Hogyoku, and making hybrids.

Ichigo touches his own cheek. He’d never made the connection before, but when he’d been fighting Kyoraku he’d felt something cool and familiar on his cheek. And his injuries. They turned white, like a hollow with a healing factor.

Something clicks into place.

Nieve. Nieve was another facet of his power. A shinigami power and hollow power. But no quincy?

His head was starting to hurt.

“Huh,” was all he said.

“Do you get it now? I’m a vizard. A shinigami who’s crossed into the domain of the hollows. I’m just like you.”

Ichigo nearly laughs.

“So join us.”

He nearly chokes.

“...Yeah. No. I just met you, and you just attacked me out of the blue. So. No.”

Hirako’s face contorted like he’d tasted something sour. “Didn't ya hear a word I just said? You're a Visored too. I know ya are. You’ll need our help.”

Ichigo lay Zangetsu back on his back so he could cross his arms over his chest. He eyed Hirako hard. He didn’t seem malicious, even if he had just attacked him. Ichigo knew when he was being played with, and having people test his skills was unfortunately familiar territory by now.

“Give me some credit,” Ichigo said tersely. “I’m not a lost dog looking for a pack. What does it matter if we are similar? I don’t know who told you about me, or what they said, but I’m not interested in joining any weird underground organization, or whatever you are. I have other things to do with my life, you know.

Hirako regarded him with new eyes. His head cocked, sending straight strands of blond fluttering out of the perfectly straight cut.

“Will it help if I say Kisuke asked me to help out?”

“He’s even shadier than you are. So no.”          

“Man. Kisuke wasn’t kiddin when he said you were stubborn, Kurosaki.”

Ichigo didn’t respond directly. He did have questions. A lot of questions. About Visards, and Kisuke, and Hirako too, but he couldn’t give himself away that easily. Not now that he had other options. Powerhouses at his back, ready and willing to fight. Ichigo gave Hirako and sharp once over, drinking in his power.

He was strong, but there was something slippery about him that made Ichigo’s hair stand on end. A very dangerous man indeed. Not to mention that as soon as the mask had come out his energy had more than doubled.

“Yer gonna need our help,” Hisako said again. “You must have already felt it. The hollow trying to claw its way into power. In soul society, you fought some pretty tough people, right?”

He knows exactly when Hirako is talking about. His fight with Kyoraku. Still, it’s clear Hirako is operating under false assumptions. There hadn’t been a struggle for control. It had been a surge of power and the taste of void dust, white on his skin and the guiding hand of instinct. Vicious and pure, a fight to survive. A fight to win.

“It’ll keep fighting to take control until it consumes ya. We can teach you how to control it.”

Ichigo narrows his eyes.

“I’m still not interested. And we’ve got homework, you know. I’ll see you tomorrow, Hirako. Maybe we’ll talk more then.”

After he’d had time to figure a few things out.  

*

For the first time in what feels like a lifetime Ichigo feels long fingers twine through his hair.

Ichigo opens his eyes to pale blue skies and lavender eyes.

“I’m dreaming,” Ichigo smiles slowly. He sits up and drags Merlin into a hard embrace.

He gives a startled, “Ooof!” But doesn’t push Ichigo away. He chuckles against Ichigo’s orange hair. “I see you missed me.”

“Shut up and enjoy the moment,” Ichigo scolds.

“Oh, forgive me master. I should just take you attention when you deign to give it.”

“I’m gonna punch you,” Ichigo warns. He let’s Merlin go a minute later. It’s only then that he realizes he’s not alone.

“Well ain’t this touchin’?”

Ichigo looks over his shoulder to find Nieve and Zangetsu standing behind them. They both look out of place in the beautiful scenery. They are weapons, creatures of battle and war. Not flowers and eternity.

Ichigo can’t imagine he looks any more like he belongs here. He is a soldier. He is not a real mage. He doesn’t have a place on Avalon. But, he has a place at Merlin’s side, where he sits. He shoots the mage a curious look.

Merlin smiles back at him, looking innocent. “I thought you might want to speak with them somewhere where they can’t disappear at will.”

Nieve looks offended. “Hey!”

Zangetsu frowns minutely. “This is a trap?”

“Of a sort,” Merlin admits.

“Are you reading my thoughts or something?” Ichigo asks. Merlin shakes his head.

“No. Only watching over you. I know you well enough to know when you need what little help I can provide you with from here. So, Ichigo. You have until you wake.”

“Asshole!” Nieve reaches for his sword, but Ichigo catches his wrists without even rising.

“Cut it out and sit down,” he scolds, his brows furrowing. “Merlin’s not wrong.”

He ignores the delighted smile on Merlin’s face.

“We need to have a conversation. All of us.  Sit .”

The both of them obey, slowly. Zangetsu looks physically pained. Ichigo ignores it. He looks to Nieve.

“You’re the ‘hollow’ Hirako was talking about, right?” He waits for a nod. Nieve is still, his shoulders drawn up and his mouth curved in more a grimace than a smile. “I thought so. That thing during my fight with Kyoraku, when I got stronger but it felt like my grip on reality was slipping, right before I got knocked out. And before, in America when Cu Alter- What?”

Both of them grew tense at the mention of the Berserker. Anger radiated off of even the normally calm Zangetsu.

“Yeah, you’re right, it was me. It had to be me! If I hadn’t stepped in you woulda died! Don’t you know that, King? Died! There was a hole in you’re goddamn chest and you didn’t even have a fuckin’ sword, and ya know what?!”

Ichigo leaned back when Nieve nearly launched himself forwards, right into his space. His gold eyes were furious and narrowed. “Ya keep pickin’ fights with stronger and stronger people! Fights ya can’t win on your own! So I stepped in, ‘cause if you die we all die and I’m not-”

“I’m not mad.” That shuts Nieve up a minute. Ichigo knocks him on the head lightly with a fist. “Stop freaking out already. I’m not mad. I just wanted to know, okay? I need to know what you are.”

“What I am? I’m you! I’m Zangetsu! I’m everything you could be if you just let yourself be! I’m the killing drive, and the shame and the guilt that your try to say you don’t have. I’m the anger under your skin and hatred in your bones. I’m your desperation, your fear. I am... your instincts! And I am not letting you die!”

Ichigo lets Nieve talk. By the time he’s done his chest is heaving and Zangetsu, who looks less an old man and more a young adult after their Bankai training, is staring at him from slightly behind him.

All is silent, for a long time, before Ichigo breaks the silence.

“Thank you.”

“I- what?” Nieve blinks at him, confused.

Ichigo runs his fingers through his hair and lets it fall back to his shoulders. “You said it yourself. When I was gonna die, you took over. You beat the Berserker. When I was losing my bout with Kyoraku, you started to step in again.”

“That witch did something to ya,” Nieve says reluctantly, “She did somethin’ to your heart. Our heart. I don’t think I can completely control ya anymore. That’s what stopped me when- well.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. If we’re really strong enough to take him on and win then…” Ichigo whistles softly. “So she stuck the raw destruction away. I get it now. That’s probably why no one told me before.”

“She told them not to,” Nieve actually pouts. “So ya wouldn’t be tempted to let me out again. Ya always fight too much with your head.”

“Uh huh,” Ichigo shakes his head. “Still. You saved my life, and probably everyone else I was trying to protect to. So thanks for that.”

“That’s it?” Nieve frowns at him. “You’re not gonna do...anything?”

“Not really? Now that I know how to listen to you there’s no reason for you to try and take control. We can fight together now. You’re still me, even you’re all the parts that make me reckless and dangerous. What else could I do but work with you?”

“Besides,” Ichigo smiles at them. “I always trust my instincts.”

Nieve gapes at him like a fish.

That just leaves one more thing.

Ichigo turns to Zangetsu expectantly.

“So?”

Zangetsu tenses. “So what?”

“There’s some things not adding up. And don’t think I missed what happened last time I tried to talk to you two. You kept him from saying something. What was it?”

They’re both silent. They look caught.

“...Does it have something to do with Nieve calling himself Zangetsu?”

“He doesn’t know what he said,” Zangetsu tries to dismiss. Ichigo pins him with a look.

“Don't’ start that. Tell me the truth. All of it. We’re going to fight together. We live and die together. I need to know what you’re hiding. Or how can I trust you to have my back? I’m not dealing with this again and I’m not putting up with it anymore.”

He’d let Romani hide things from him for a long time. He’d gone along with Kisuke even when he should have known better. He was not letting himself lie to him.

The air went out of Zangetsu. He turned his gaze to the grass, like it was too much to look at Ichigo.

“The truth. You want the truth. Of course you do.”

“Of course I do.”

Zangetsu sat back. His arms were braced. His hands are tight. He looks ready for a fight.

“The truth that I hid from you. And, from him.” he inclines his head to Nieve, the hollow. From both of them? “When we first met, I had him under careful control. It was difficult after his initial outburst, in America. But I managed. I needed to get to you first. I needed to be the source of your power, not him.”

“Why?”

“Because. I didn’t want you to fight. I don’t want you to fight. Fighting puts you in danger, and all I have ever desired was to protect you. I couldn’t do that if he was your power. It needed to be me. But the truth is, he is your Zanpakto. He is the true Zangetsu.”

Ichigo swallows thickly. That’s-

He didn't know what he was expecting. It wasn’t that.

“Then what are you? And why didn’t he tell me?”

“He didn’t know, at first. I pushed him so far down it confused his memories. We have both always been with you. Since the very beginning. Since you were born.”

“I’ll ask again. What are you?”

“I am… I am your inheritance from your mother.”

Ichigo freezes entirely.

“My-”

“I am the power you inherited from her. I am the part of your soul that is a quincy, and he is the part that is a shinigami.”

“A quincy. When I said I wished I was a quincy like her, why didn’t you say anything?”

“It was already too late,” dark hair falls along his cheeks. Anger pulls his mouth down. “I had just told you I was Zangetsu. How was I supposed to tell you I had lied when our relationship was so new? When our bond was so fragile? How could you trust me again after that? “

“After this?”

“Why did you lie in the first place? Why didn’t you just tell me that I was quincy all along? I could have fought-”

“It wouldn’t have worked. Your shinigami powers are more suited to combat.”

Shame curls around the spirit. Ichigo tries to wrap his head around everything he’s been told.

He is a quincy. He’s a shinigami. And a visord.

“How did I even end up with the shinigami and the hollow powers to start with?!”

The two spirits exchange the first glance from the time they’d been drawn into the meadow.

Merlin hums softly and cards his fingers through Ichigo’s hair soothingly.

“I might be able to tell you that. Though I can only observe what’s happening right now outside my tower, I have done some investigating on your behalf since this all started. Did you know your father and Urahara Kisuke were once friends? They met together after you left on your journey.”

“My dad and Urahara… oh. Oh. Dad’s a shinigami,” he doesn’t even feel anything towards that. No anger. No remorse. “And the hollow aspects?” he asks Nieve.

Nieve quirks a half a grin.

“Aizen’s fault, actually.”

“... of course it is.”

**

Of all the people Ichigo doesn’t know what to make of, Dr. Jekyll may just take the cake.

He’s a nice man. And smart. Too smart, really, for his own good, but Ichigo knows the book. He’s only read a few quotes from it for a project ages ago, but everyone and their mother and knows the gist of it.

Jekyll transforms into Edward Hyde, a horrible monster of some sort.

Yet, Ichigo sees no sign of darkness in Jekyll at all. Is there really a chance that he’s just coincidentally named after a title character from a famous novel?

No, definitely not.

It’s not possible at all.

Ichigo keeps his eyes on him. Closely.

Jekyll adjusts his gloves every few minutes, or whenever he’s talking about the fog or people being hurt. It’s a nervous habit for sure.

Ichigo wishes he could see his hands. He could see if there were calluses on his fingers or along his palms or knuckles. Nothing about Jekyll said he was a fighter.

Still, he was a doctor. If he did have to fight, wouldn’t that be perfect? He would know exactly where and how to hit someone to put them down.

Somehow, Ichigo can’t imagine Henry Jekyll hurting a fly.

They endeavor together to save the city. To save humanity.

There may be plenty of rotten people in the world, but there’s still good ones. Jekyll is one of them.  

* * *

Karin and Yuzu are cornered by him a day later at breakfast.

They managed to get him alone in the kitchen while their dad is in the clinic and Ichigo’s servants are out exploring the city, save Medusa who is in the livingroom.

Cornered is not the right word. Ichigo sits at the kitchen table while Yuzu works at the stove and Karin plays at her handheld, but they’re both watching him.

They know, he’s sure. Kon wasn’t really a very good actor, and his sisters aren’t by any means stupid. They’ve had to grow up fast, all three of them. Isshin was a failure of a father, something that Ichigo would have denied three years ago. He can’t anymore.

Ichigo fiddles with his hoodie strings for a few minutes while he tries to figure out how to broach the sensitive topic in front of him. In the end he does what he usually does. He says fuck it and goes for it.

“I found out something about mom.”

Karin’s head snaps up so fast her hat falls off. Yuzu spins around in the kitchen to look at him, surprise written clearly across her small face. Ichigo motions them both towards him.

“I found out mom could see ghosts too,” he says quietly. So Isshin won’t overhear, if he’s close enough. He won’t let him ruin this. He won’t let him keep secrets from the girls. “She was a quincy. A human who can see and interact with spirits.”

“Like you and Karin?” Yuzu’s frown is a sad thing. Ichigo cringes. She’s the odd one out, again.

“Yeah. And like you too. You may only sense them, but you’re like us too. Quincy are… fighters, I guess. They protect people from bad spirits. Mom was one of them. I guess I kind of am too, and you guys must be as well.”

“Fighters,” Karin repeats. She keeps her eyes on Ichigo. “Can you teach us to fight like them?”

Ichigo scowls. He doesn’t want them fighting at all, but he can’t exactly forbid them from doing it.

“Me? No.”

“But you know someone who can.”

He looks at Yuzu, who’s staring at him too. He thinks sometimes that she’s the strongest out of all of them. She’s the sweetest, but she’s also a steel spined girl who controls the household herself, and has for years despite being so young.

It’s Ichigo’s fault, he should have taken more of the burden from her.

It’s Isshin’s fault, none of them should have to bear the burden of running a house at all.

“Maybe. Probably.”

“Great,” Yuzu smiles sweetly at him. “You can introduce us this weekend. Eat your rice.”

Ichigo mutely does as he’s told, hiding a smile.

Isshin was gonna kill him. It would totally be worth it.

* * * *

Edward Hyde is a terrible man.

He’s as hedonistic as Jekyll is sincere and good. He’s as violent as his counterpart is passive, as vulgar as the other is polite.

Ichigo is almost ashamed to say he doesn’t mind the Berserker at all.

He’s honest, at least, and more loyal than Ichigo would have thought he would be. He delights in combat and blood shed, and he harms everything he touches reflexively.

Except Ichigo, apparently.

Ichigo peers over his shoulder at the destroyed helter skelters they’d encountered on their way out for supplies, if they could find them. Mash had been forced down a seperate street, leaving Ichigo with Jekyll, who had had no other option but to risk changing shape into this creature that lived under his skin.

Ichigo kept his hand on Hyde’s shoulder even when the Berserker pressed a knife to his throat. No blood was spilled by it. Red eyes were bright and nearly feral with delight over the fight. Ichigo could feel a headache coming on. This was going to be an interesting one.

“I think they’re dead,” he says dryly, nodding to the scraps of metal scattered around the ground.

“THey were fucking weak. And I’m bored. Why shouldn’t I cut you up?” he tilts his head and a wide grin spreads across his face. Ichigo doesn’t even blink.

“Because I’m too pretty?” he says dryly.

Hyde’s smile slips with surprise before it comes back and he cackles. “For once that punk ass bitch found a friend with a spine.”

Ichigo arches a brow. “Have you met Mordred? She’ll kick the shit out of you. “  

Hyde laughs again, like a crazy person, and pulls the knife back. “Let’s go. I wanna destroy something else before Henry get’s in my way again!”

“Joy,” Ichigo rolls his eyes, but follows after. Hopefully Mash will catch up soon.

* * * * *

“So,” Ichigo drawls slowly at Hirako when he sits next to him. “You’re really not giving this whole ‘joining you’ thing up easily, are you?”

Hirako shot him a grin. “I’m not givin up after only two days. Ya need our help, whether ya like it or not, Ichigo.”

The way he said Ichigo’s name, sing song and cheerful, made Ichigo wanna punch him in the face.

“Are you gonna try to fight me this afternoon too?” He asks. “Because I have other things I need to do. You know I have a life, right?”

“If ya do, you really should concede and let me help already. As long as you’re a visord all yer friends, all yer family is gonna be in danger. Until ya learn to control it.”

“I’ve got it all handled, thanks. I don’t know what yours is like, or what your situation is, but I’ve handled mine just fine.”

Hirako side eyed him mistrustfully. Ichigo ignores him entirely in favor of staring at the clock as it ticks down the last few seconds before school is over.

As soon as the bell rings he’s out of his chair and on his way to the door, until a hand catches his wrist.

He turns back to see Hirako smiling innocently at him, but his grip is a steel trap.

“Just what are you doing?” Ichigo asks with a scowl.

“Ya say ya have everything handled? Fine. Prove it, and I’ll let ya go on your merry way.”

Ichigo narrows his eyes. He does not like this at all, but what else can he do?

“... fine. Let’s go somewhere more private.”

“Oh Ichigo,” Hirako’s grin grows. “Buy me dinner first!”

“How about a knuckle sandwich?” Ichigo pulls his hand back and turns to march away. Fuck, he’s gonna have to ask Urahara for a favor now.

This is not a good day. Not at all.

* * * * * *