#she felt excused to do and say because of a fucking fandom stance i had and etc

[florenceisfalling]

its ok the situation is long behind me and i have never experienced a bad feeling about it ever 👍 (lying)

[desiraypark]

Alright. 

So.

I really wasn’t trying to get too deep into the mess. Why? For a couple of reasons.

1) Because when I joined this ADCU fandom--I was very aware that I was going to see racist shit. A lil’ internalized sexism. All of that. I’d mentally prepared myself for it before I came through, or tried my very best. As I stated in a post a week or two ago, I was very vocal about these things in my younger adult years, but now, I am tired and just no longer interested in letting racism, misogynoir, microaggressions, and other things on the internet get my blood pressure up (because I’ve gotta deal with it in real life). I simply block, filter, and move on. This is my path. Not saying that it’s right, that’s just the stage that I’m in right now. 

2) What I’ve heard of this controversial fic is offensive to me. More so, the erasure of certain elements about the Civil War is what I found offensive. Did it piss me off or enrage me? No, because again, I’m tired lol. Offended, yes? Angry--me? No.

Now, I’m not writing this as a “woman of color”. This is a BLACK woman about to tell you what HAS pissed me off over these last few days. And I’m saying it straight from my account--not on anon or some account that just blossomed a couple of days ago. 

I’m writing this as a Black woman who lives in a neighborhood that used to be a plantation (big house and slave cabins still up and intact up the street from my home) - because there is barely a place in my city you can walk where your feet don’t touch land that used to be a plantation, or a slave trading station, or an auction block, or a public whipping post, etc. I live in a city that is ENTRENCHED in “memories of the Civil War” -- “good” and bad memories. 

I’m writing this as a Black woman who once worked next door to a Confederacy Museum--MUSEEEEUM--and watched old white men sit outside of the building with their flags. Or, who once had an old white man come to into my job, walked up to me with a shady, condescending glint in his eye, to ask me questions about “the museum next door” that he hoped to visit one day.

I love historical AUs and write them myself. Me, personally, I’m not gonna tell anybody they can’t write romantic/smutty Civil War AUs (I’m just gonna fucking block them). Because people are gonna do what they want and as we’ve seen demonstrated, there are some people who are gonna do the shit HARDER if it’s called out. But I DON’T have the privilege of reading something in that setting and being able to imagine myself as a landowner. This is a fact. 

People can say “oh, well there were Black landowners back then!” But could they own that land without a  “guardian”? Could they walk around town without “papers” to “prove” that they were free? Do we think that free and/or landowning Black people were just walking around untouched in the 1860s and AFTER? We LITERALLY just commemorated the 100th Anniversary of the Tulsa massacre. Come the fuck on, now. 

I can BARELY write my 1920s AU shit without thinking about how race impacts the my OCs. I just CAN’T make that separation. And it must be nice that some of you WOC and white readers can do that. I’m happy for you. Whatever. 

Now, from what I’ve gathered, I believe that this is the point that was originally being brought to SH--that not only could some of her audience not see themselves in this story, but some of them actually might be hurt by it. And instead of being thoughtful of that, excuses were made. The “colorblind” card was thrown out and it was stressed that “sides” in a Civil War setting were written “vaguely”. The dismissal and denial is what has frustrated me. 

But ah, here’s the thing.

This is a pattern. 

I think some of you might be under the impression that this might be the author’s “first misstep” (that is, if you think that is the case at all). I’m going to tell you a quick story. And this story is not secret--these incidents and the posts (pro-cop posts) that correspond to them were shared publicly. 

I’ve long had SH blocked for awhile. Why? 

You remember when another writer whose name started with an “S” went  through this whole thing about all cops not being bad? I was actually quite friendly with that writer and expressed among people (including SH) that I wanted to reach out to S because I knew she was young and probably just hadn’t lived enough life and been around others to understand why their stance was problematic (and wrong). But then, I found out that she’d done the whole deleting POC’s comments thing...

She’d reached out to me wanting to talk, but at that point, after learning about commentary deletion, I didn’t want to be bothered. I decided that I would not reach out to her. I unfollowed her and moved on, because as I later told SH, Aiyana Stanley Jones was born around the same year that S was--but unlike Aiyana (who was murdered by WHO?), S will be fine. And I don’t regret my decision. I would have been a fool to try to be the Black person who “reaches out” to try to educate somebody. And I would have regretted doing so.

So, anyway. SH tried to encourage me to talk to S anyway, because S felt so bad and hurt. I politely declined, gave my reasons why, and me and SH left it at that and remained cordial. This is something I do regret because I should have known better. Because guess what? About a month later (IF THAT), SH made a post regurgitating S’s same pro-cop sentiments. 

But I made no fuss. I simply unfollowed and blocked. She’d shown me who she was and I finally decided to believe her. No need to argue. I had no desire to “call her out” because she already knew how I felt--and she’d only shown me that (as history has shown my ass time and time again), I don’t matter to her and I don’t count in the world she’d rather exist in--(edit: or at the very least, the fanfic worlds she’d like to create). Calling her out would have been fucking pointless.

So, I can’t let this week end with y’all thinking that this is just some “slip up” or misstep--or some “sudden attack” made out of jealousy or whatever other shit people are spewing. These recent events are merely a day that has long been coming. 

Now. 

I’m about to put “Civil War” in my filtered tags and content, and go on about my day. Bye.

[thejudgingtrash]

Annabeth is a good person,but not a nice or pleasant one,IMO.

YES.

That’s it. That’s the post. Pack it up everybody, we just cracked the case and cleared up one of the most compelling fights in the PJO fandom since forever. Good job everybody, clap it out and there’s the door! Don’t forget ordering the drinks at Starbucks, Mitch! They’re on me!

Okay, but on a more serious note: YES. YES EXACTLY.

And before some of you roll your eyes or grab your pitchforks – put your biases aside and hear me out for once. I like Annabeth. She’s my in my top three characters only second to Percy himself. I love Percabeth. It’s my favorite ship in the entire series and to be frank, the only ship that I care about PJO wise. Hell, I spend my time creating my own headcanons or writing my own fanfics with Percabeth being the star in them.

But that is not to say that I’m unable to see how certain things have developed over the years or where they stand now in regard to Annabeth. I’m not here to ignore things that have been said and/or done due to or in the name of Annabeth and I’m not here to vilify anyone that doesn’t like her. And I’m here to admit that I’m guilty of some of the things that may be addressed in this meta essay that you will read in just a second. However, I try my best to assure you, that I’m for once able to recognize my own bias.

Warning: a monster essay lies right upon you.

This should count as a paper of its own.

Back to the statement on top: I would go out even further to reframe your claim, anon:

Annabeth Chase is a good character but not a nice or pleasant person.

Annabeth is a wonderful character but she isn’t a nice one. Or at least not nice to everyone. She is (construction wise if I dare say) the best character out of the series. She has her positive traits (she’s caring, she’s emotional, she’s encouraged and volunteers, she fights for what she believes in, she forgives (even if doing so begrudgingly)) but she also has her negative traits (she’s stubborn, she’s brash, changing her mind takes forever, she is prejudiced, she baits others). That balances things out. She is branded as the intelligent kid but does irrational things (like I’ve just said a) she’s a kid and b) she’s not a robot). She should probably know better, but we all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from them. The clouds in the sky do blur and cover our visions sometimes.

Annabeth had clashes with other characters or was about to have fights due to her stubbornness or jealousy (Rachel, Reyna, etc.) and has of course her problems with the mortal world and her family but she also found new friends, some things cleared up throughout the narration and she was/is quite popular in Camp Half-Blood.

The thing is: she doesn’t have to be nice or pleasant (as a character). Or at least not all the time. Her character is humanized. That is what or who she is. Human. She does stand out as a character, not just because she’s the (future) love interest. She feels like someone you could meet in real life and either adore from the top to the bottom or declare as your biggest enemy. And that’s totally okay if you lean either way – liking or disliking her. Or even feeling indifferent about her. Also great!

To say that she has been the best character that Riordan has crafted is easy to say, because she has been sculpted after Riordan’s wife. He had a model he could rub some of real-life events or traits on. That’s not the problem. The problem truly doesn’t lie on Riordan’s side for the most part for once.

The problem is inherently on the fandom’s side. What the fandom does, how it acts and how it treats Annabeth as a character is the problem. The problems vary but it’s mostly the mischaracterization of Annabeth, starting fights and fan/ship wars, internalized misogyny (in some cases) and how some of the Annabeth stans lash out (ha, got firsthand experience in that field among many of my friends and mutuals!). There is a reason why many people are wary of people that have Annabeth or Percabeth related URLs.

The fact that we see Annabeth mostly through Percy’s lens and (until the Heroes of Olympus saga hits) we never really see her in chill everyday situations is essentially Riordan leaving the back door of the house open, ready for all of you asshats to rob his mansion in Boston. Because a frame on a character means that we don’t get to see the character in its entirety (unlike we do with Percy in PJO for the most part). That means a bunch of stuff is left open for interpretation which is the reason why Annabeth gets so many polarized headcanon and opinions tossed around. I think that is one of the true appeals of Annabeth. You can add on stuff and it necessarily doesn’t have to contradict itself.

We have people calling her abusive due to a (n admittedly stupid and unnecessary) judo flip and we have people that act like she’s never done anything wrong. People sorta use this excuse to form and shape Annabeth however they want and distort her characterization.

People in the fandom act like Annabeth is some weird prized possession. We perceive Annabeth mostly through the eyes of others (Percy, Apollo, etc.) and when we had some sort of insight in her ways (MOA, HOH) it felt… weird? Somewhat? Like Riordan left two bullet points of her characterization and told the ghostwriter: aight, fuck it up, gringo, see you on Tuesday and greet Fred the next time you see him for me. 

There have been many posts lately (by Tharini, Simi, Sawasawako, Jewishpercy and Annie I believe?) that HOO Percabeth felt weird. That they felt weirdly constructed, that there was no conflict, no growth. It felt stagnating, like we’re turning back. We had five books prior where we had Annabeth and Percy slowly shifting from disliking to liking and crushing each other. True development. And when we finally got the cake it felt… dissatisfying. Like the cheap box stuff and not the delicious exquisite taste that we were promised.

I said it previously in my Percabeth ship roast, but let me repeat myself: many Percabeth related things are straight up fanon. Some of it is very old fanon so that’s been unable to distinguish unless you’ve read the books recently and subtract nearly 99,9% of things you see on Tumblr (and occasionally the other shitty parts of the fandom like Reddit, IG, Twitter. Although they mostly steal and recycle tumblr stuff oh well. But back to the topic).

The way people treat Annabeth is so strange. She’s either an innocent fluffy smush baby that’s never harmed a fly and all that she wants for Christmas is being Percy’s lapdog or she’s the devil incarnate, broke into your house, killed your parents Batman style, kicked your puppy and didn’t flush the toilet on the way out. I think this is what mostly makes people hate her or the ship Percabeth. And both extremes are wrong and right at the same time? She is multifaceted so both stereotypes are true and untrue and sorta cancel each other out in the same way.

The true reason why people dislike Annabeth is because the stans are doing the most. (The haters as well, don’t get me wrong, but oh boy. Piss of a stan and you’ll know what I mean). That isn’t inherently new. Are you guys old enough to remember the ship wars that have happened cross platform? Perachel vs. Percabeth? Oh boy, oh boy. I saw some kids on tumblr a few months ago trying to infiltrate both tags and start shit (and also fail). The fact that Rachel still gets used as the bitchy (ex) girlfriend in fanfics? It’s 2020 guys. I know this apocalyptic year is far from perfect and over but I think we can let this trope die, right? Right? I thought we’ve established that Rachel is a pretty chill charcter by now… right?

If you posted your stuff on FFN back in 2010-2013 and it wasn’t the typical cutesy Percabeth story (Goode High, the gods read TLT, punk/prep Percabeth, college AU, etc.) people would’ve come for your fucking throat. Not because the story or the narration was shit. But because the pairing wasn’t Annabeth and Percy (in the sense that Annabeth had to be paired with Percy. I mean Percy gets shipped with everyone and their mother but for Annabeth it was strictly Percy. As annoying as this whole Connabeth thing is – the people behind it actually had a point. She never had a different love interest unless it’s a Percy centered story and he goes off dating Athena, Artemis and Zoe at the same time for some odd reason. Yeah, FFN Percy ships are something). Or it wasn’t the action filled canon compliant story or it wasn’t an AU that was popular.

People were really stubborn, snobbish and wanted their stuff in the four five boxes that were the most popular ones and that’s it. People have been bullied off the site in many fandoms, so it’s not a PJO-only thing but it’s still sad that it happened. (Off-note: most of these FFN tropes are still alive and well and thriving on AO3. Don’t be so snobbish and pretend that every piece you’d find there is a holy grail. There’s a lot of trash you have to waddle through. Same with Wattpad, Tumblr or anywhere else where fanfics get posted. Also had this discussion with Annabeth stans. Sigh).

And Tumblr back then? Forget it, wasn’t much better.

That view has sorta changed (at least for people that have been in the fandom for several years or have managed to find a way to navigate through it) but some of the negative sentiment from back in the day has survived. Be it by new fans coming in or from old fans that never let their stance die. The aggression feels differently and somewhat not. (I don’t know if the anon function had been abused that much back in the day. I was an observer not a participant in the fandom).

Crack a joke at Annabeth’s expense (Kal’s famous “Annabeth is a Republican” post or Dee Dee’s and many others “Annabeth has the education of a second grader, chill with the college plans, girlie” stance) and you have people insulting you, making callout posts, unfollowing and blocking you (based on only that? Okay, honey), making aggressive counter-posts, etc. in a minute. If you respond with “It’s a joke, it’s not real” you have a 50/50 chance of either getting blown off or embarrassing them so that they apologize for once.

This isn’t just about jokes. You can make a headcanon that’s not the cozy cute convenient mainstream saga and people would react the same way. Or art piece (no, not including the whole Tannabeth Blackchase shtick done by Viria and others) or fanfics.

People project so much onto the unfinished canvas that is Annabeth Chase that any form of negative sentiment as little as someone not liking her to straight up criticism, regardless of how tiny it may be, seems like an affront. Like an invitation to a fight. Like an insult to them, their character, everything they believe in. Let me state something:

You are NOT Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase IS NOT you. Annabeth Chase is NOT real. Her feeling cannot be hurt. Someone criticizing, disliking, joking about her or even insulting her will not bother her. Someone making a statement about her is not an insult to YOU.

Let me repeat that:

Annabeth Chase isn’t real. Annabeth Chase isn’t you.

So think a little before you act? I get it when you’re a kid and new to fandoms or haven’t been up with fan cultures in the past and are back in the scene. But if you’re in your late teens or even older as an adult and you’re unable to understand that you aren’t what you like – you aren’t the extension of a fictional character – I feel incredibly sorry for you. Because that’s just incredibly sad. Someone disliking something you like isn’t an attack of your character. It shows you that you are you and the other person is a human just like you. That they just have different taste. Disliking something you like isn’t a crime, you know? But me feeling sorry for the way some of y’all act won’t mean that that’s even remotely okay. Especially if you’re no longer in the intended audience for PJO age wise and should know better.

This isn’t a “white stans” only thing. I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand how people of color, mainly women of color, act the same or not even worse when it comes to her character. People have projected their problems and real-life occurring events into her character (I’m sure that she isn’t the only character nor that this is the only fandom where this is happening) and in some cases like I’ve said cannot separate their own personality from the fictional world. Fights with woc happened because of Annabeth fucking Chase. So many things have happened in the fandom the past few months, mostly due to people being forced staying at home because of the quarantine but I’d say it’s 10% on quarantine and 90% on people for acting up like this.

So here’s a little story: There was the act of Riordan blowing the fandom up because of his own stupidity and being unable to apologize for his mischaracterization and lack of research (the whole Piper fiasco) back in June (?) and admits the upset fandom, people on Twitter, Tumblr and Discord legit thought that none of that mattered and that the outcry was destroying Annabeth Chase’s birthday. That’s right. People thought that Annabeth Chase’s non-existing birthday because she’s a fictional character had a higher priority than the rupture and prevalent racism in the fandom. Okay. This isn’t a great look, Annabeth stans. And this of course pissed a lot of people off. I made a post about it and someone not only berated three other people on said post but no, we had a mighty argument which had disrupted many friendships in our circle which haven’t recovered until this very day. We both had our parts in it and no one is innocent. But the cause of this still remains Annabeth Chase or how people prioritize her non-existing well-being. Anyway. I’m getting agitated just thinking about it.

Let’s go back to the characterization thing with Annabeth. Let me remind you:

Annabeth Chase is an asshole. There I’ve said it in a post ages ago (too lazy to look it up, sorry) and I’ll say it again. And that’s not me insulting her. That’s me actually loving that about her. Annabeth is one of the very few unapologetic female characters that really showed all young readers across the world that you can be a girl, a badass, smart, strong, standing up for yourself and what you believe in. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You don’t need a man in all cases but it’s also okay to accept help and defeat.

A large reason why I think she’s an incredibly important character in children’s literature/YA because many other novels (mostly (sadly)) have the “Oh, I’m a white skinny dark-haired girl that likes unconventional things like READING. I’m not like the other girls, that take care of themselves and pamper themselves by enjoying shopping and wearing make-up. No, I’d rather be one of the boys but a sweet cute little boy and not the jock fuck that drank vodka shots out of a filthy shoe once. Despite me calling myself hideous every man in a 10-kilometer radius falls in love with me and tells me I’m oh so sexy and by the way I’m only 16 years old” shit going on for no goddamn reason.

Yes, I do blame Twilight for this mostly in recent years, but this trope isn’t by any means knew. Pretty sure that you could even use classics as Pride and Prejudice and dissect them in the same manner (Bold statement: Lizzy Bennet is the OG Bella Swan. There. Go fight somewhere in the corner, people). The new wave of YA focuses on girls belittling themselves and only starting to believe in themselves because someone else (mostly the male love interest) tells them they’re worth it. And these books hit the mainstream because they’re incredibly bland and picture perfect white.

With Annabeth it’s different. She shows up for the job and is done with it. (Brie Larson would probably be the perfect in real life version of her. You either like or dislike her. Or you really don’t care). That is what is so refreshing about her. Her unapologetic nature. Can it be off-putting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes! Hell, every time I read The Lightning Thief, I want to rip her goddamn head off. And it’s just so well written. Her shift from mistrusting Percy but secretly still believing in him to her opening up. Wow, Riordan did something right there.

Annabeth Chase isn’t a young character. She has existed along with PJO for 15 years. She’s on her way to the second decade. I’m pretty sure that with the success of Percy Jackson (and Harry Potter) many lives have been warped and shaped.

But when I say the problem lies mostly in the fandom, it doesn’t mean that Riordan’s completely innocent. The only problem that I have with Annabeth lies not truly with her but the fact that Riordan is only able to produce three variations of female characters:

The sweetheart (Hazel, Silena, Calypso, Hestia)

The strong feminist (Annabeth, Piper, Thalia, Reyna, Artemis)

The bitch (Drew, nearly every female goddess in the goddamn Riordanverse next to every female monster)

And these female characters only know three endings:

End up married with a mortgage, three kids, two dogs and a cat somewhere in Connecticut by the age of twelve

Get dumped into the hunt

Chill on Mount Olympus and only come down to be a nuisance and/or give a cryptic message before going back and doing a godly rave party or something

We know Annabeth as the badass strong female first (or the bitchy character we’re supposed to actually like. Choose your approach), the blueprint so to speak, so some of the other characters feel almost pale in comparison and almost not needed? Doesn’t mean that other characters can’t behave similarly, but it feels kind of redundant especially if their character arcs end in a rather anticlimactic way (Thalia, Reyna). The new additions are the much needed woc as the main story with PJO was inherently white (anyway stan black!Percy and Grover, folks). So it’s not to bash on the new characters, it’s more Riordan’s fault more than anything.

Since Riordan only knows three female character arcs it feels like he tried to copy the formula several ways with different nuances. Some more or less successful. This is where fandom actually comes in handy and helps create more distinguished and fleshed out characters in form of headcanons or fanfiction.

But even in these cases people still make it about Annabeth when it’s time for characters of colors to shine. Remember that whole spiel and discussion that broke out when people (Kal, diver-up, Caitlyn, Bee, reynaisalesbian, etc.) joked about or criticized that Annabeth thinks that she’s having it harder because she’s a blonde? In front of Hazel and Piper? If she would’ve been a real person that’s an invitation for getting decked. And then all hell broke loose because Annabeth stans couldn’t accept the fact that in the real world and/or in fictional worlds the woc/coc have it harder? That the white woman wasn’t the victim that needed the coddling? Yeah, that was mad pathetic.

I hope you people get my point?

Well fuck. I wrote so many things and have the feeling I’ve said nothing. Anyway, I hope I made sense. This is way too long.

TLDR: Chill about Annabeth please. She’s an important character but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to like her, regardless of being a character in the books or a reader/fan of PJO in real life. She isn’t nice or a sweetheart all the time. She also isn’t the monstrous asshole that some try to make out of her.

Peace out.

[carolmaximoffs]

cherry wine

summary: he should end it, you both know it. you wonder what’s so magnetic about her that bucky can’t stay away, even when he’s always crawling back to you, beaten in more ways than one.

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: angst. mentions of sex. reference to domestic abuse. 18+ please.

a/n: i’ve been listening to this song a lot and i knew i wanted to write something to it so here’s a lil something while i avoid work. also - the bucky fandom rlly hates on dot but i didn’t feel like coming up w a name

“She...she slept with him again,” Bucky moans from the other end of the line. He’s beside himself again, all over a bitch who calls herself Dot and can’t keep her legs closed to save her life. You sigh, phone squeezed precariously between your shoulder and ear as you grab your keys. “I don’t...I don’t know what to do. She promised, Y/N, she promised and...and-“

You shush him as soothingly as possible. Driving to his place is almost something you can do in your sleep, now. Dot had gone out with her girlfriends, and apparently wasn’t planning on coming back tonight. “I know, Buck, I know. I’m sorry.”

You’d given up a long time ago trying to convince him to leave her. First he’d made excuses. Then he’d claimed he would. Eventually, he started getting pissed every time he even though you were going to suggest it, so you didn’t. You felt like the worst friend in the whole world. At the same time, you felt like there was nothing else to do but be there for him. Even as you let yourself into his apartment, even as you let him collapse into your chest, you felt guilt eating away at you.

“Bucky...” You murmur as he pulls away and stands suddenly, swaying on his feet. Reaching for the water bottle on the coffee table, you say his name again, but he waves you off. His body is trembling with poorly disguised anger, footsteps heavy as he walks away. 

“Help me pack my things, will you?” Bucky calls over his shoulder as he disappears down the hall. You hear drawers slamming in the other room and sigh. After screaming as quietly as possible through gritted teeth, you make your way to his and Dot’s bedroom. 

-----------------------------------------------------

Bucky has barely been crashing on your couch for a week when she stops by. Her perfect hair is tugged into a ponytail so high and tight it looks almost painful, blush too bright and eyeliner too thick around her small eyes. She does this strange thing with her chin when it’s you that opens the door - half-lifting it, half-moving her head side to side. Like she needs that last little bit of confidence, even though you don’t know how intimidating you can be in your sweats and sports bra.

“I’m looking for James,” Dot announces, eyeing your outfit without bothering to hide your disgust. She pops up onto the balls of her feet in her clunky heels, looking over your shoulder as if you’ve hidden him behind the vase in the entryway. “He should have come home by now.” 

“James is out right now. I’ll let him know you were here, bye!” You chirp with forced sweetness, tilting your head and smiling brightly. You make to close the door on her but those damned wedges stop you. Her itty-bitty nose twitches, and she retracts her foot. She exhales pointedly slow before raising her brows expectantly.

“And where might he be?” She inquires, the same sugar laced through her venomous words. You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from positively smacking the snark right out of her. It takes some convincing to get her to leave - you both know that you’re perfectly aware of where he is, but both of you also know there’s no way in hell you’ll tell her. Dot finally huffs, stomping her foot petulantly. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a thick, baby-pink envelope, shoving it towards you.

“Whatever. When you see him, give him this. And don’t tell me he isn’t here - I’ve already been to Steve’s.” She’s gone in a swirl of Chanel No. 5 and faux fur, and you fake-gag at her retreating figure. You slip back into the apartment and head towards the kitchen where you’d been halfway through dinner. The envelope glares at you from the counter, until you give in and pick it up to study in a moment of weakness.

In her strange, loopy handwriting, James is scrawled across the front. You study the packaging for only a moment before you’re tearing into it - your curiosity overrides your better judgement, like it always does. You’ve just gotten to the second page (of four, long pages in tiny handwriting) and are resisting the urge to retch at her manipulative pleading when the front door opens and shuts.

“Smells good in here,” Calls Bucky as he makes his way through the apartment. You scramble to gather all the pages and the envelope in hand, frantically searching for a hiding spot. He’s standing on the other side of the island from you all too soon, and you shove your hands behind you back. “It’s crazy, I could’ve sworn I saw - what are you hiding?” 

You curse in your head, swallowing thickly. You never hide anything from Bucky, haven’t been nervous around him since you first started trying to broach the wicked subject that was Dot. You fidget under his gaze, unable to speak as he creeps around the counter towards you. Bucky has never seemed quite so big until now, or maybe you just hadn’t noticed because he’s always shown you his goofy, teddy-bear side. Now though, you’re very aware of the way he towers above you as he reaches around to snatch the offending objects from your grip.

The kitchen is deafeningly silent. You wish the tile would swallow you. To distract yourself from the stupidly endearing way his lips move whilst he reads, you focus back on dinner, setting your small dining table and getting the meal on the table. Your hands shake as he still says nothing. opting instead to shove the letter into the garbage. As far as you could tell, he hadn’t even finished reading it, but he drops so heavily into his chair and looks so close to tears you don’t even ask.

Dinner, too, is quiet. Bucky eats more than enough for both of you; leftovers don’t exist for meals you share with him. You clean up without second thought as soon as both of you finish. You expect Bucky to putz about the apartment, maybe shower or watch TV, but he stays leaning on his forearms on the island whilst you load the dishwasher. A quick glance back reveals him chewing his lips and staring holes into the counter top. You know Bucky, and you know he’s trying to find the words to tell you something, so you patiently mirror his stance once you’re done. Abruptly, he straightens, pulling off his shirt.

“Bucky-” You gasp, but any questions die in your throat as he turns around. Painted across his rib-cage are yellowing bruises, and the length of his back is run with scratches, newer than you care to think about.

“She pushed me. Into the fucking-the dresser.” His voice is low, and the way it shakes makes your heart crack. “She’s never...I didn’t think...You were right. I’m sorry.”

You’re in front of him in an instant, catching him as he shrinks before your eyes. The pair of you sink to the kitchen floor; you’re sure you present an interesting picture. Your beefy, giggly best friend, curled into your body as his own is wracked with sobs. You card your fingers through his hair, shushing him as soothing as you can as he continues to apologize. Your heart breaks, and despite your competitive streak and love of winning, you’d never wished more to be wrong. 

[beanymachine]

Todoroki Timeline

Trigger Warning: mention of the possibility of rape.

Okay so I think we should try to make a timeline with all this new info and see if we are remembering all the details or explanations for character’s decisions or actions.

So first Endeavor and Rei meet, with Rei’s family being like “we’d be honored even if you basically want our daughter to make a kid with a half ice and half fire quirk!” And they go on a date and Rei agrees to marry him for the sake of her family.

Toya is born and Endeavor is like “cool even though he doesn’t have the ice quirk this is fine” and I think Rei just wanted to have another kid just so she could have another child to love.

Fuyumi is born and it’s all fine until Toya starts to show signs he can’t handle his fire at really hot temperatures OR his constitution against fire is getting weaker. Either way they are told by a doctor to just stop training him instead of like, maybe seeing if he can still use fire and just not go over a certain temperature.

Anyways, Endeavor wants another kid saying it will stop Toya from training but Rei is like “no I don’t think that’s a good idea”. But really Endeavor is like “it will make my favorite child stop hurting himself AND I can still get the chance to surpass All Might! It’s a win win!”

AND HERE IS WHAT WE ARE NOT SURE OF:

We aren’t sure if

1. Rei consents to having a child and not thinking it will have negative consequences to Toya instead of helping him

2. Rei feels powerless to fight against Endeavor’s wish and just bares children anyways, giving up on her stance.

3. Rei is forced to be impregnated. (Rape) However that is VERY dark and the manga may never clarify this.

However, there are panels of Endeavor looking onward in dismay and Rei looking at him in shock/ fear, and her looking exhausted each time a child is born, it’s up to the reader’s interpretation on what happened.

When Shoto is born it looks as if Rei is either happy another child of hers is born, and/or is relieved she doesn’t have to have anymore children.

We also have no idea if Rei tried to talk to Toya too. She does say she didn’t see him, but hopefully we will have further context in 302.

We know Endeavor did but neither parent told Toya the right thing (that being is worth isn’t based on if he can surpass all might and be a hero) but they keep having children because to Endeavor, Toya isn’t good enough and even if he is saying the right stuff to Toya, he is being a hypocrite and keeps trying for children anyways.

Therapy exists in the BNHA universe or at least treatment for mental illnesses. And I know someone said that there is a negative view on therapy in Japan today so we are not sure if therapy is still seen that way in BNHA. Either way Endeavor would probably be against someone getting therapy in fear or his publicity. A counterpoint is he did put Rei into a mental hospital but it could be he felt he was forced to at that point.

Anyways one day Toya tells Endeavor to watch him and tries to attack Shoto so that he is the favorite again. We don’t know if this is the incident that “kills” him or it happens years later. It probably DOES happen years later when Toya is older and so that Nastu remembers Toya crying to him.

Either way, Toya supposedly “dies” and the whole family’s state becomes worst.

Endeavor not only neglects the rest of his children but then begins beating Shoto, and when Rei tries to intervene she begins being beaten too. It’s possible after Toya’s death she felt she had to be a more involved parent so that another incident like that never happens again, and that she should try to protect her children more. It could also be Endeavor blocked her from taking care of Nastu and Fuyumi as well.

Rei’s mental state begins to decline, with the death of Toya, her being beaten, and becoming more and more afraid of Endeavor. She finally snaps and boils water on Shoto’s face, but immediately realized what she did wrong and tries to use her ice to cool his burn.

She is then sent to a mental hospital against her will.

(I went on the BNHA wiki and it said that Rei goes to the hospital first and THEN Toya dies.)

Edit: If Rei is taken to the hospital and THEN Toya “dies”, then maybe Rei’s decline from just the abuse. And perhaps her departure triggered something in Toya that makes him burn himself so much that everyone thought he died.

Shoto then says he’ll never use his side again to Endeavor.

ANOTHER TIME SPAN WE AREN’T SURE OF:

We don’t know if-

1. Endeavor stops training Shoto in response to Shoto never using his fire side.

Or

2. Shoto is still trained and is being beaten.

And then we head back to the events in the manga, where Shoto uses his fire again and sees it’s his quirk. We also don’t know if Endeavor keeps “training” Shoto while he is still in high school or not.

- Dabi attacks at the training camp.

- Endeavor becomes the #1 hero.

- Endeavor tries to make it up to his children now that he has everything he has ever wanted.

- Shoto, Bakugou, and Deku intern with him.

- Shoto isn’t sure how he feels about Endeavor.

The war arc happens, Dabi is revealed to be Toya, and then he reveals it to the world. Endeavor goes to the hospital, Rei comes to talk to him, and there. We are back to the present.

I made this timeline in response to the Fandom’s reaction to the recent chapter (Ch. 301). While Rei is at fault for not being there enough for Toya, we also don’t have the full details yet, and Endeavor is more at fault of causing Toya’s decline than Rei, and for being a worst parent than she was. We also don’t have the full details yet, and there could be more explanations for the way Rei reacted. Rei was also in a bad situation that she did not have much control over, and became a victim herself. However, Rei still shares some guilt for failing to raise Toya.

Toya also is guilty for killing people and hurting children and Shoto. While he is a victim of abuse and neglect, it doesn’t excuse his actions. It explains to us and the characters in the story why he did it so we can understand.

So for now, I think the mature thing to do is try to understand, and wait to see if anymore details come out that can explain the things we are missing before we can finally judge characters and their actions. We already know Endeavor is a piece of bullshit, but we are learning how he went to just a piece of shit to becoming an even stinkier piece of bullshit.

We also need to find out more of how involved Rei was into what lead to Toya’s mental decline. She is already admitting she fucked up badly, and she certainly didn’t abuse Toya but she knows she is at fault for neglect and knows she has to try to do something to make it right. She is already ahead of Endeavor in trying to at least help their son, instead of just realizing their mistakes and crying about it. She also could not have WANTED to neglect giving attention for Toya because she was so busy with Nastu and Shoto when they were born.

Also, in my opinion, I think Endeavor is seeing he really fucked up, but I don’t think he’ll ever see how much pain he caused. It’s not that he may not want to consciously, but subconsciously that may be the case. I think he is crying because he is realizing this, but also because subconsciously he wants someone to help him feel less guilty. But Rei responds to it correctly with telling him basically it isn’t about him. It’s about their kids. He needs to step up and they both need to help save Toya, and how to help their children grow and be happy, even if that means they are never forgiven. Rei knows this, and we know she is most likely genuine in her intentions. It’s not Endeavor’s turn to see if he will step up, and for us and the characters to see if he will be genuine in his intentions and actions.

It can’t be about Endeavor’s “redemption” anymore. It’s about their kids’ lives and trying to help them.

Also Endeavor back then was still pretty awful. I mean he kept wanting children to try to best All Might even when stuff like this was warned to him.

If I am wrong in anyway in this timeline please help me by pointing it out. I will edit it and update it. I want this timeline to be as accurate as possible. Thank you for reading.

[laynemorgan]

These past few weeks -- this past presidency really -- have been wildly eye opening for me. As a liberal white person, I’ve spent the better part of the last few years learning and unlearning, checking myself, checking my peers, etc. But these last few weeks it has been even more so. Unsure of what to do with my voice in the din of twitter, and preferring to elevate voices of people of color around me, I wound up taking to facebook, spending the better part of the last months sharing political posts that I had died off on posting after Trmp’s election, confronting relatives and family friends that i had, a few years ago, decided i’d need to just come to terms with. Through all of it, I have seen a lot of grace. I’ve seen a lot of learning. And I’ve scene a lot of stubborn refusal to learn. And I’ve been those people. I’ve been learning but I’ve also refused to. I’m hoping to change that now. 

A few months ago, a girl on twitter approached me. She was angry. She confronted me flat out about how I felt that it was okay for me to preach equality and social issues as someone who had been so bad at confronting and apologizing for my own missteps in the past. As someone who had hurt people without consequence. She was right. I told her that. She told me that my previous apologies had been shitty and selfish. And she was right. I promised her I’d write a new one. 

And then I never did. 

When our world erupted into protests and marches and major social movement this last month, I became immediately embarrassed. The words I had promised had never made it out. I prioritized a million other things in my life instead of the people I had hurt. I regret that. So so so much. I regret not immediately writing an apology that I truly meant when it was pointed out to me how much I had let it all fall off my radar. I regret only thanking that one girl on twitter for her time and education and not the many, many other voices who had been trying to reach me over the years. I should have done that right away. I should have done that even before, without it having to be brought to my attention. I thought that because I had learned and knew better, because I personally knew where I had gone wrong and wouldn’t do it again, that it was over. But the truth is, that was a lesson I hadn’t been ready to learn either. That the people we’ve hurt don’t go away, that shitty apologies don’t make up for pain, that having selfish things to do with our time doesn’t excuse not prioritizing growth and reflection and acknowledgement. So for starters, I am sorry for that. I am sorry that it took me four years to say anywhere on the internet that i KNEW that apology I wrote was shitty. I’m sorry it took me four years to acknowledge to anyone how wrong it was that I was constantly requiring them to push me toward change. I am so sorry it has still taken me a months since that twitter exchange this year, and a full month since I realize I’d STILL forgotten about it to be here. And writing this. I’ve been selfish. I’ve shoved all of your important words and experiences and thoughts and lessons to a place where I could look at them when it was convenient for me. And that was fucking selfish. And ignorant. 

To now skip all of that intro and go into more detail, this whole story begins in my fandom days. When I loved and adored The 100 and was a very active member of that fandom. The reveal of Clarke’s bisexuality, the introduction of their Lesbian character, Lexa were important to me. In making that clear, I said in a tweet that another character, Bellamy (portrayed by Filipino actor Bob Morley) was less important and received preferential treatment by the fans due to his ability to be seen as a “hot white guy.” In short, I entirely erased Bob’s lived experience as a non-white man, I erased the visibility that Bellamy created for men like him, and when it was pointed out to me, I doubled down. I defended my stance, I fumbled to explain myself over and over. I thought that because my intent was not to harm that it excused me from the impact of what I had said. And it didn’t. What I said was wrong. It was erasure, it was ignorant and came from my own unchecked racism. I know that now. I didn’t then. I was embarrassed and upset that people thought the worst of me. When what I should have been was humble and willing to listen. And THAT is what is truly embarrassing. 

Then came the apology, several years later. I had spent time arguing about a cause that effected me personally and suddenly, was moved to more properly address what I had done. But again, my apology was about me. It came on my time, a day late and a dollar short. It wasn’t an apology at all. It was an explanation, a plea for understanding, laden with white fragility that I hadn’t yet examined. It was an apology that had learned how to fix what went wrong but hadn’t actually learned what was wrong about what I’d said and done. It stepped over the voices of the people who had been fighting to teach me. It re-centered myself, my experience, my emotions. And again, it was selfish. 

To be explicitly clear: the way I behaved toward the people who corrected me and tried to educate me in both of those instances was shameful. My inability to listen something I am actively working on as much as I can. I am so so sorry to those people especially, to Bob whether he knew about this incident or not, and to the entire fandom community at large for setting such a shitty example. 

This apology isn’t only about that moment, though. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I wanted to make sure to talk about other stuff too. Other stuff that no one has been publicly calling me out for, but that is still bad. Whether it’s pointed out to me or not. Because I think growth is important and I think it’s important to humble ourselves to know when we were wrong, to look back on our actions once we have learned better and pull out the bad parts, show people, teach others. In my years in fandom, I made a thousand missteps. I was quick to get upset, when someone said a show or character I loved was racist or had done something racist. I was the person always shouting that not everything is racist. I was a fucking ignorant. I dug my heels in simply to defend things, without taking time to listen, without understanding the history of pain that people of color face when it comes to stories and representation. I thought I was smarter than I was. 

I didn’t listen when I was told that you can’t dreamcast a next gen character of a mixed race couple with just one of those races. I didn’t listen when white washing was explained to me. I was too stubbornly wrapped up in the things I wanted and my own perceived kindness and correctness to think that I could get something wrong, that I could need to put in a modicum of effort to change my ways. “There just aren’t that many mixed actors,” I’d say. But because I couldn’t name any off the top of my head didn’t mean they didn’t exist. And frankly, the fact that I couldn’t name any was shameful too. I know now, how important racial representation is. Again, I am sorry for not listening. I am sorry for whitewashing and for thinking that simply dubbing myself a good person and good ally didn’t make it so. I was too proud to learn. I’m working on dismantling that fragility too. 

I work in television now. I work in television because I want nothing more than to tell stories about everyone. This year I got my first script. And that same girl who called me on twitter a few months ago told me she didn’t want to support the show I worked on because she didn’t trust a project that I worked on. That fucking devastated me. I wanted to proudly wave the expectational diverse show I loved over my head and say “but look what we did!!” And when that instinct hit me, this time, for the first time, I checked myself. Because what I did didn’t matter without fixing what I had done. Without earning that trust back, without making it abundantly clear where my head and my heart are now. Something that felt “so long ago” to me was fresh and painful for other people. Being able to shove it away was a privilege I had and didn’t see. I had sat in the writers’ room on that show and advocated for our representation and felt proud of the stories we told. But none of that matters if I haven’t checked myself, and fixed the hurt that I’ve caused, personally first. 

I am truly sorry. I’m sorry for the mistakes I inevitably forgot about making that did not make this post. I’m sorry for the ignorance that made them less important to me than they are still to the people of color who witnessed them and the things I perpetuated. I’m sorry for not understanding that I can contribute to the problem, that I can BE the problem. I’m sorry for talking over you, for not listening to you, for letting you be the villain in my head and my heart and out here on my public profile for so long. I’m ashamed of my past, but I don’t want to keep letting time go without talking about. I want to bring my selfishness and my ignorance into the light and talk about it. I don’t want to cause anyone hurt for any longer than I need to, and I’m so sorry for never giving anyone closure on any of this before, even when I thought I had gotten it for myself. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for trying so hard to explain shit to me that I just didn’t hear. I know I’m inclined to wordy bullshit. I want you all to know that I’m listening. I’m late. But I’m listening. And again, I am sorry for having hurt you in the first place. I was wrong. I will likely be wrong again. But I promise you that I will do everything in my power to never, ever be as unwilling as I have been to learn. I am educating myself all the time now, in hopes that you won’t ever have to educate me again. But should that day come, I promise to meet you with the grace, humility, and open mind that I should have a long time ago. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

I am very sorry for what you are going through, think that in adittion to that unpleasant people who attack you, there are also many more who enjoy, respect and follow your content, and want the best for you. I really like your reviews and opinions, and although I do not always agree with you, I respect and validate your opinion as much as anyone's because that is to be respectful with others and have common sense.--

--You should not take into account what people who are unable to respect another human being like them say, that they cannot even separate reality from fiction, all for a simple opinion different from theirs about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, you cannot even take them seriously. If those people need to insult, despise and make someone feel less for a reason like that, it simply speaks of how miserable they are as humans on and off the internet.--

Please don't take into account what these people say, listen to those who appreciate you and show respect. I hope you feel better and I am sorry for what is happening in your life, but you can always forward with your will and the people around you.(Hugs)

I only read these ones this morning, or afternoon more accurately cause I have a very bad sleep schedule for weeks cause I been playing video games too late into the day, but I’m slowly working on it. I’m just really bad at it.

And all I can really say to accurately give my reaction to it, was that it was something I definitely needed to read first thing in the morning. If it wasn’t for those messages yesterday, and a friend helping me out I may not have even been calmed down enough to go to bed at all. I could’ve easily not gone to sleep literally at all and had been even worse today because of it to the point of having another meltdown of a day.

Like I don’t wanna make myself sound too good, because if I did, I’d feel like I was lying, because my mind feels like a bloody nose filled up with tissue paper, if that even makes a darling lick of comprehension.

I find it so entirely weird, and patronizing, and frustrating how the fandom can be, if not worse. Like I say something unpopular, I do it a lot, probably with literally every freaking character. Even Tim, because I know that quite a few Tim fans don’t like me either.

I don’t read every comic and go “Oh this must just be how it works”, because that’s not how my brain is wired. I’m Autistic, I go in-depth, I do a lot of research, that is how I am wired when I get a hyperfixation, I want to know everything. So I say a lot of unpopular stuff because I don’t just accept things, because I don’t work that way.

But it goes like this when it comes to people just being miserable, they have to make me out to either be a bigot or bias, they either don’t even read what I say, or just don’t acknowledge what I say.

My biggest point they will leave out completely to focus on other things that are either completely irrelevant and just there to make me look bad even though it doesn’t really make sense what it has to do anything once you think about it a lick more, or just make me look straight up like a crappy person.

I got really ranty and rambly after this, and I try not to take up people’s dashboards as much. So I’ll put this here. If it’ll work, cause one time I don’t think it did, and it made me panic once cause I felt really bad. But it just would not show up.

Because trying to make a bad face out of a real life living person isn’t that bad, compared to the horrors of having to acknowledge the arcs and actions that their favorite character been through evidentially.

Sorry to say and everything, but I don’t see how on Earth Tim cheating on Ariana has anything to do with a literal whole other arc of Steph being abusive and doing really horrible things, or all those “teases” that were actually flirts that were making Tim genuinely uncomfortable to the point of sexual harassment, and told her not to do, which she didn’t actually always listen to sometimes, surprisingly to some. I also don’t see why it’s so hard to comprehend that Tim kissing Steph just because he got ahead of himself because he was euphoric he was about to die, yet it was made clear he didn’t do sexually or romantically, isn’t as bad (comparatively because it’s still insanely inappropriate and weird, but I wouldn’t call him a pervert over it) to me as Steph literally pinning Tim down during a gun fight to kiss him against his will, or taking advantage of Tim believing she was dead and giving her CPR to do it again. Like I don’t really see why saying “Just read the comics” has to do with anything, because I don’t have the art skills to just make all those panels up like that. Which by the way, I don’t give a single fuck about what bad thing Steph has done. I don’t like her because a lot of her stories are badly written, and a lot of her fans are straight up assholes. Which they conveniently ignore, because I must be villainized, because they can’t handle me acknowledging something that isn’t their idealized image. But let me also state that there are assholes in literally every fandom, I just have certain ones that decide to be assholes to me. And I don’t remember the part where I said teasing was bullying either. I can’t find that on my list of thoughts in my brain. Almost like they don’t actually know how I think or what I meant. 

And I don’t know why on Earth Tim not trusting Damian to the point of being kind of scummy has much to do with Damian doing horrid things in comics they like as well. They’re their own separate people ya know? I’m not comparing characters, because I’m not actually trying to shit on the characters you should realize. Not every negative thing is formed out of toxicity. Toxic positivity where people act like not just enjoying everything is so bad is actually a thing. And I see it quite often in fandoms, and it comes from a good place, but my goodness, just let people express themselves sometimes. It’s not going to hurt anybody as long as they’re not actually an asshole or you just have a fragile ego.

It seems pretty irrelevant to me. Implying that I hate the characters because of these actions is also pretty dumb to me as well, because that’s not the case nor how it works. They keep acting like me not acknowledging the bad thing Tim does in the same posts is some showing of my bias, but no, I just view it as fucking irrelevant, because I do bring up when Tim does something bad when ever it is relevant. It is that simple. I think the only time I’ve ever even could truly come across as trying to baby and defend Tim was me saying Tim cheating on Ari with Steph was out of character, which I still hold that opinion too, but I don’t simply make shit up, I just notice how rushed it was, and how it goes against how Tim is about morals, Steph, and his literal stance on cheating. Stuff that you would actually judge what’s in or out of character on.

I just give everything the same standard. I’ve never denied Tim wasn’t passive aggressive or conscending to anyone, or has violated privacy, or was immature. If I had it was probably me caught up in the moment, and pretty weird, because I’ve actively talked about it before.

And I’m referencing stuff in the past with these oddly specific examples, that hasn’t bugged me truly in a while, but when I find a new example of stuff, I can’t help but have it come back to mind and make me question how people got to just be shivery little jerks over things like made-up characters.

I’ve acknowledged the fact that my blog was too anti-Steph plenty of times, even as it was happening, because it was mostly through anons and not me. Some of which I defended Steph on. I just had too much anxiety not responding to them, because I’d feel a sense of guilt for ignoring someone. Which I’m over and past.

I’m not going to be held down by stuff I already corrected about myself.

It’s been so heavily implied to me before, that groups just talk mad shit about me, and made up this horrendous little reputation for me among themselves, and it is so disheartening, considering I’m just this baby faced geek that read too many comics, simply explaining stuff that had happened in actual comics without actual bias. I don’t run DC Comics. I’m just a blogger that they really really don’t like, and take it as a personal attack of some kind, at least going off of how they act.

Maybe it’s what I get for expecting people to treat fiction as fiction and not a big freaking deal when I say something or don’t say something, because they’d understand the context I’m trying to explain literal events in comics as they are, and other things that happened in other situations have no relevance to what I’m saying, because I’m not making a bashing piece like they seem to think.

I know I take fiction very seriously, because I just really want good content again. But I don’t make real life people’s lives miserable. Do ya think I talk shit about Bendis all the time? Not really. I’ve genuinely probably sang his praises more than otherwise. I think Tynion’s the closest example of when I could’ve, but that was years ago at this point. I’ve made it so much more clearer it’s about the comics than them, because simply I’ve realized how scummy it is to mock an actual person, who’s probably actually a really cool guy to know. Do I fuck that up sometimes, probably. But I’m definitely not telling him to kill himself.

If they can’t acknowledge what I actually say, and continue to just try to make me look bad. I don’t personally view myself as the bad one. That’d be utterly redundant.

It always boils down to that I just acknowledge stuff they refuse to, and they just play ignorant about, and pretend they just can’t possibly understand why anyone would say it. I didn’t pull the stuff out of my ass, I have the panels. I didn’t skip anything out. At most I just don’t find the excuses they have to be freaking relevant or over power the action at hand or sometimes the literal motivation she/he had going into it.

And it’s 100% okay, but even though this is a space on the internet, and I’m practically a loser shut in. I still live in the real world and when I’m not having a bad anxiety attack or whatever else, I try to be as reasonable as possible.

I just look at it, look at the context and past contexts, look at the motivations, judge it for what I see, and move on. And never consider it a big deal until someone else makes a big deal about it.

I don’t even view every person that does it against me to be a bad person, some of them most definitely are because they go too far with it, but some of them literally have no idea proper context anymore, or they’re just very very insecure.

It’s very difficult to outright go ‘THEY’RE ALL EVIL’, but when there’s so many that are just putrid humans that want me to take my own life, it’s a wee bit overwhelming, and understandably so, yeah?

People sometimes just don’t properly process what they’re doing, because they’re so caught up in their insecurity, or possibly even a mild ego, but there’s others that will do it because they’re so quick to anger and hatred over fucking nothing.

Welcome to reality. It’s a lot like taking a train ride through a diseased rectum sometimes. But other times it’s like taking a trolley though a nice field. It’s a mixed bag, but it’s a ride that never stops but once.

An important thing I do wanna say though, is that I have everyone who supports me in my heart. I may lose my sight of that when I’m going through an episode I’m having a heckuva lot of trouble controlling, but I’d be in a much worse spot without them. Some of them are so dang respectful, and some are just so legitimately sweet and kind that it’s a blessing to have ever had an interaction of any kind or level with them.

I don’t take any of you for granted even if sometimes I seem ignorant of it during a terrible depressive episode.

You often don’t agree with me and can make it very clear, but it’s the respect you give me nonetheless that I take as precious, because it’s some of the best stuff to receive when all else seems so bleak and lifeless. It’s not an honor everyone sadly receives, so I treasure that a lot. And when I’m feeling so down and out, it sometimes can be the one thing that keeps me even near level, and that’s such an honor that even if it’s such a small amount, because obviously it’s a Tumblr blog I’m always aware of that, it just does mean a lot to me, because it genuinely is an honor to me.

I love you guys a lot. I hope that’s always obvious even when I’m making a mess out of myself. You guys are some of my favorite people on this planet.

[chilling-seavey]

Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter Seven

A/N oh no...don’t tell the Dolan Twins fandom that I’m using their tags again...they might riot :o

A/N2 Can I dedicate chapters? Because I dedicate this one to @randomlimelightxxx​ and @seaveyserenitysurvey​ because they always give me so much love 🥰

Friday, September 20th, 2019

The week passed on slowly. Like usual, Grayson was caught up with work so seeing him during week nights was unlikely. He was still working on finding a position for Florence as he had promised. Daniel was as distant as ever. He did return her call but was dry the entire time they spoke. Even Florence’s stories about Clementine didn’t get as much of a response as usual. She missed him terribly but knew what ever he was hung up on would pass and they would go back to normal eventually.

Clementine enjoyed having Grayson around; she always seemed to take a liking to him since the first day at the Mommy group. He was good with her; patient and sweet. When he held her on his hip, the sight made Florence melt; his broad body contrasted by the tiny baby curled up against him.

Fridays were their nights now, spending the night at either of their places. The apartment was easier because Clementine was able to stay, she didn’t have anything at Grayson’s. It made Florence think of Daniel, how he went out of his way to buy things for the baby to allow her to be comfortable in his house.

Grayson had helped get Clementine into bed one night, offering to read her a story and tuck her in. Florence could feel herself falling for him more and more as time went by. He was the perfect combination of sweet and polite and youthful.

Florence waited on the couch, a movie queued up on the TV, for when Grayson returned. He soon came tiptoeing out of the nursery and climbed on the couch next to her, kissing her softly.

“She went down okay?” Florence mumbled against his lips.

“Mhm. What are we watching?” Grayson asked, pulling her against him by her waist as she grabbed the TV remote.

“The Backup Plan.” Florence said, draping her legs across his lap.

“Sounds boring.” he teased, lips attaching to her neck.

“It’s not.” Florence giggled, curling in at the sensation. “I can relate to it.”

“Can’t we all relate to Rom Coms with Jennifer Lopez as the lead star?” Grayson raised an eyebrow.

“Stop making fun of me!” Florence scolded, gently slapping the back of her hand to his chest. The first scene had barely started when there was a heavy knock at the door.

“You expecting someone?” Grayson asked.

“No.” Florence said. “And people normally have to buzz up.”

She got to her feet, setting the remote back on the table. Grayson let his hand fall to her ass, making her glare at him.

“I’ll be right back.” she leaned down to kiss him before making her way down the hallway.

Another knock sounded as she reached the foyer and she threw open the door to be met with eyes she never thought she’d see again. The piercing stare was intense and Florence felt her stomach turn.

“Hi.” he spoke slowly.

Florence tried to form words but nothing came out. Matt stood in front of her like nothing was wrong, hands in his pockets and hair side-swept like usual.

“Thought I’d come by to say hello.”

“You need to leave.” Florence spoke quietly.

“Don’t be like that.” Matt chuckled, leaning one arm against the door frame. The alcohol on his breath was apparent and it sent shivers down Florence’s spine.

“You said you wouldn’t come back.” Florence spoke, her voice trembling.

“Well I missed you.” Matt hiccupped, ruffling his hair. “I missed Clementine.”

“I don’t care.” Florence said through her teeth. “I don’t care if you want to convince yourself that that’s the truth.”

“Aw, baby, listen.” Matt set his hands on her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I said some fucked up things that I didn’t mean but I took time to think it all through and I’m back now. For good.”

“Matt-“

“Where’s my little girl?” he went to walk into the apartment but Florence stepped in front of him.

“You need to go. Now.”

“I want to see my daughter.”

“It’s 9pm, Matt. She’s in bed already.”

“I don’t care. I just want to see her.” Matt tried to get past her again but Florence held her ground, a hand on either side of the doorframe.

“Why are you being such a bitch?” Matt frowned.

Florence simply glared at him.

“What’s going on?”

She had never been more relieved to hear Grayson’s voice. He set a hand on her shoulder and eyed Matt.

“Oh nice.” Matt scoffed. “You got all up on me about fucking Hannah but here you are whore-ing around the city.”

Florence let out a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a scoff.

“Hey, man. Watch it.” Grayson warned.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? This is my family.” Matt jabbed.

“You should go.” Grayson said, his eyes dark with protection.

“No! This has happened before, okay? You don’t understand how things work around here.” Matt raised a finger to silence him. “I leave to get my head in the right place and then I come back and all is well again. Right, babe?”

His stare that fell on Florence made her shift uncomfortably.

“Right?” he pressed a hand to her cheek.

Grayson pushed his arm back, “Don’t touch her.”

“Fuck you, man.” Matt shook his head. “This is my girlfriend. Your dick has done its job so you can go now.”

“Excuse me?” Grayson laughed humourlessly.

“How much do we owe you?”

Grayson simply gaped at him in disbelief.

“You’re looking at me like I’m crazy. There’s no way this prude got a real guy within a week and a half.”

“Matt.” Florence tried to scold him, her voice coming out in barely a whisper.

“Yeah. She did. So turn around and go on back to your lame high school party and drink till you puke.” Grayson snapped.

The darkness in his voice made Florence stay silent. She had never seen him like this. Matt pushed his way into the foyer, taking advantage of Florence’s weak stance. He didn’t get far before Grayson grabbed his bicep.

“Don’t push me.” he said.

“You don’t scare me.” Matt scoffed.

“I will if you don’t get the fuck out right now.”

Matt looked like a twig next to Grayson. They were almost the same height but Grayson had the muscle mass to put Matt’s scrawny bones to shame. Florence watched the scene unfold, her heart in her throat. Her cheek tingled where Matt had touched her; the simple action washing back so many memories like tidal waves. How he held her close under the bed sheets in his childhood bedroom. How he spoke gentle words to her through the phone during their late night calls. How he could kiss her to have her forget the pain. But he was the pain. He was the source and the solution to her pain and it was a vicious, never ending cycle.

Florence had her back against the wall of the foyer, across from the door where the backlit shadows of two men stood. Everything felt so far away, their voices muddled as she stayed frozen in place. She had been doing so well, moving on and forgetting all about Matt; and then he came back with empty promises that she knew all too well.

Florence’s heart ached as she remembered the hallway torments to her brother, the terrible words shouted across the classroom, the look in Callum’s eyes when he found out about them. How could she have done that to her brother? Her small sob went unnoticed by the bickering men in front of her. Their voices were drowned out by the voice of her father, his scolding words and the sharp snap of the leather belt. How she wished he was there to treat her exactly how she felt. Disposable and empty.

The slam of the front door broke her thoughts. Grayson was alone with her now, at her side in seconds. Florence couldn’t hear what he was saying, her heartbeat loud and thumping in her ears and her shallow breaths overtaking her clear vision. She slid to the floor against the wall and cried numbly into her knees. Grayson got down with her, helplessly stroking her hair and whispering mumbled sentences.

“D-Daniel.” Florence finally stumbled out. “I want Daniel.”

Grayson moved fast, grabbing her cell phone from the living room. Florence felt the room spinning, her whole world falling around her in broken memories. She hated herself for it, for everything. For spending too much time with the boy who ruined Callum’s life, making her fail that math test. Therefore being the reason her family left Canada. For driving her brother away from her; how he rarely answers his phone.

Time moved slowly but oh-so-quickly. Grayson’s movements as if he was turned into slow motion but fast as Daniel was through that door in an instant. Grayson stood to the side as Daniel fell to his knees in front of Florence, taking her face in his hands.

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m here, okay? It’s alright.” his voice was muffled, as if he was at the end of a long tunnel. She watched him with stone cold eyes.

Daniel turned to Grayson, “Can you grab her a glass of water and a cool damp cloth please?”

Grayson flashed out of the picture, Florence scrunching her eyes closed as the morphed reality made her head pound. She could feel Daniel moving to sit next to her, pulling her into him, draping her legs over his lap and resting her head on his chest. His left hand gently rubbed up and down her back.

“Breathe with me.” Daniel whispered. “In...and out...”

Florence tried to follow his instruction, her body weak and frozen. She felt limp against Daniel’s form and he could feel it. Grayson bent down in front of them, the exchange between him and Daniel going unnoticed by the girl. The cool cloth on her flushed face made her flinch.

Daniel hummed quietly into her hair. He gently patted her face with the cloth, the action enough starting to bring her back down.

“Breathe in.” he whispered. Florence’s trembling inhale was sharp and jagged but he didn’t take notice. “And out.”

After a few of those, her breathing was starting to become more steady.

“Focus on me.” Daniel encouraged, handing the cloth back to Grayson. She looked up at him, staring into his ocean blue eyes. Daniel smiled, “There you are.”

She watched his smile without a word, each curve of his lips and the little gap between his teeth. He tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her head. Florence let her eyes close. The rim of the glass touching her lips took her by surprise and the water that followed made her shiver with cold.

“Little sip please.” Daniel breathed.

Florence complied, taking a small sip before turning away.

“Is she okay?”

Grayson’s voice made her startle, forgetting he was there.

“Yeah. Just had a panic attack. She hadn’t had one in a while.” Daniel mumbled.

“This has happened before?” Grayson asked.

“Once since I’ve known her. Before the baby was born.” Daniel answered, offering her another drink of water.

“You really know what to do.” Grayson stated, admirably.

“I don’t know how.” Daniel chuckled. “She woke up one night like this and I just snapped into this protector mode and it just worked.”

“She talks so highly of you.” Grayson whispered.

Daniel smiled shyly, looking down at the girl in his arms. “I would hope so. She’s my best friend in the whole world.”

The three fell into silence.

“I’m sorry I’ve been claiming so much of her time.” Grayson said.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry. I was being a selfish jerk.” Daniel waved him off. “You make her so happy and she does not shut up about you.”

The two guys chuckled between themselves. Florence wrapped her arm over Daniel’s chest, holding the material of his green t-shirt in her hand.

“Let’s get you into bed.” Daniel whispered to her.

“I can carry her.” Grayson offered as he got to his feet. Daniel watched as she was picked up from his grasp and Grayson carried her with ease to the master bedroom. Florence’s weak body curled into Grayson’s strong grasp. Daniel watched them from the floor until they disappeared into the next room. He looked down to his lap, threading his orange belt through his fingers lazily, the black long sleeve under his t-shirt falling over his hands. Daniel worked hard to suppress his anger towards Matt.

How dare he show up drunk and call her the things he did.

Daniel only wanted what was best for Florence; and it seemed Grayson was the answer to his prayers.

[delkios]

Brings My Soul so Close to You (ToRays/ToV)

Please continue to pardon any inaccuracies with characterizations as I still haven't gotten around to familiarizing myself with games other than Vesperia and Rays. Title for Wonders Never Cease by Morcheeba. Thanks to suguelya for giving it a look-through.

(dreamwidth) (pillowfort) (AO3) Title: Brings My Soul so Close to You Fandom: Tales of the Rays, Tales of Vesperia Rating: PG Word Count: 7203 Characters: Flynn, Yuri, Hubert, Estelle, Velvet, Ludger, Mikleo, Ami and Ix Summary: Set in a nebulous post-Mirrage Prison timeframe. Five different looks into Yuri and Flynn's relationship "Yo. You still doing the perfume thing?" Hubert looked up from his book, eying Yuri carefully as he lounged up against the door frame. "I do." Hubert didn't particularly dislike the swordsman but they also rarely interacted, leaving Hubert to mostly know of Yuri through his reputation which... had some worryingly unsaid parts to it. "I thought you didn't care for it." He shrugged, not quite looking at Hubert and Hubert couldn't decide if it was an actual sign of nonchalance or a show of it. "I don't really, but it seems pretty popular with everyone else and there's been a couple I've liked." "Okay, then." He still wasn't sure if Yuri was being honest with him or not but Hubert couldn't really see how this could be a joke. He pulled a piece of paper and pen from a nearby desk. "Did you already have a scent in mind?"

~*~*~*~ "A scent?" "Yes. Your friend, Yuri, came to ask me to make perfume for him- his first, actually -and I realized that I don't believe anyone told you this is something we do." Hubert said, his posture formal but relaxed. Flynn was much more comfortable for him to interact with than Yuri. He chalked it up to mutual military professionalism. "People make requests for what kind of perfume they'd like- specific scents, if they have any in mind -and I try my best to create a perfume to their satisfaction. I will admit that it's been far more successful than I expected." "That seems like a lot of work," Flynn said, "having one person do all that." Hubert chuckled lightly. "Oh, the material gathering is shared with others. Normally I give a list to groups going out foraging or getting supplies. The actual mixing is done by myself." "And it won't be too much trouble making something for me?" "Not at all. Most people reorder perfumes I've made previously so I don't often get a chance to make an entirely new one. I'd appreciate the challenge." "Hm. Where we grew up, perfume was only used by the rich or for special occasions. Even when I was able to afford such things, it never occurred to do so, so I never really gave it much thought." Flynn tilted his head, eyes glancing upward as he thought. "I guess... Yuri?" It took a moment for Hubert to realize what he said. "I'm sorry, you want it to smell like Yuri?" "When we were little, we used to share everything: toys, clothes, even a bed. He was always with me through the hardest years of my life." Flynn laughed, ruffling his hair. "It's embarrassing to admit but my mind eventually came to associate his scent with comfort. I know it's silly but they say smells are closely tied to memories." Hubert smiled, warm and full of emotion. "No, actually. I think that's wonderful." Hubert immediately regretted his words. It took nearly a week of gathering and experimentation before he was finally able to approach Estelle with two bottles of perfume. "Yuri," he said crisply, setting one bottle down, "Flynn," he set the other down, a hand span away. "They actually asked for perfume?" Estelle asked with surprise. Ever since Hubert was persuaded to allow distribution of his perfumes, he'd gotten Estelle to name them. "That's a surprise, I didn't think Yuri liked using anything scented asides from soap. And Flynn always had to borrow perfume from other officers before official events." She giggled to herself as she picked up the bottle Hubert had said was for Yuri. As she opened the bottle, Hubert said, "It's an odd combination and it took me a bit to get the balance right, but I think it turned out well." Estelle sniffed lightly. "It's smells... like the ocean? And something flowery?" "Ocean and cherry blossoms." Among other things to help blend the two scents together. Estelle looked at Hubert for a moment, a slow smile spreading on her face. "Did Yuri pick those?" "Yes," he looked a little suspiciously at her, "why?" "Oh, no. It's just two of the first places Yuri and I went when we started our adventure. We restored a giant cherry blossom tree to protect a village and then we went to a cliff and saw the sea for the first time." Estelle laughed. "Both times Yuri talked about Flynn. I didn't think it was very important back then since I knew they were close friends, but I didn't realize that Yuri isn't the kind of person that casually reveals his thoughts." She swirled the bottle slightly, looking like she was thinking on a memory. "I think he was a little sad he didn't get to share those moments with Flynn." Hubert crossed his arms, thinking over her words. "Flynn's someone Yuri thinks about a lot?" "More than he's willing to admit, I'm sure." Eyes dancing with mirth, Estelle wrote 'Close to the Heart' in decorative script on the bottle. "And this?" She picked up the one for Flynn, opening the bottle and taking a whiff. "It smells kind of familiar." Hubert looked both annoyed and embarrassed. "Flynn said he wanted it to smell like Yuri and at the time his reasoning was quite sweet but then I realized it meant having to steal from Yuri's laundry and it was just such a hassle." He'd gotten caught by Repede of all Nexuses and Hubert had stumbled over his words trying to find an excuse before remembering- dagger and surprising intelligence aside -Repede was just a dog. He still felt compelled to assure him he'd return Yuri's clothes, however. Estelled gave it another whiff. "But you did it. This very much smells like Yuri. What did Flynn say that made you think it was sweet?" "He said that Yuri was with him through difficult times and his mind equated him with comfort." "Aww, that is sweet." She smiled and wrote 'Home' on the bottle. "I think they'll both like it though I don't know how likely they are to actually use it. I'm not entirely sure either of them really understand the point of perfume." "Well," Hubert picked up the bottles, lips quirked into a faint smile, "that's fine. I've been toying with the idea of scent diffusers, I might experiment using these. Everyone treasures things in their own way, after all." ------------------------------------------------- For a moment upon reading the note requesting her assistance at her leisure, Velvet considered ignoring it. In part because she was curious to see how long Flynn would wait for her to show up but mostly because, though Flynn seemed decent enough and Laphicet greatly approved of him, he reminded Velvet of Eleanor early on in their relationship. Though she was fairly sure he wasn't nearly as annoying or frustrating as Eleanor had once been, it wasn't a headache Velvet was particularly eager to relive. Of course, now that she was standing right there in front of him, Velvet really didn't have much of a choice. "What is it?" "I apologize for asking this at the last minute," he gave her a somewhat contrite smile, "but I was hoping you'd be able to help me make a White Day gift for tomorrow." She narrowed her eyes. "Didn't I see you with whole bags of gifts last week?" "Those are return gifts. As much as I would've like to return handmade chocolates in kind, I'm afraid my schedule and the amount didn't make that feasible. But I was hoping to do something a little more personalized for my companions." Velvet had no idea what Flynn's cooking abilities were but the folks from his world- Yuri especially -had been fairly adamant about not allowing Flynn to cook though the use of terms like 'alone' and 'for others' had her more curious than anything. "And you're asking me specifically because?" He looked somewhat embarrassed. "I know my cooking can be... divisive. But you strike me as the kind of person that won't hold back. If you see me doing something incorrectly or suspect, I'm certain you wouldn't hesitate to point it out." Velvet starred at him long and intense but Flynn didn't so much as twitch. "Fine." She pulled her shoulders back, fists planted on her hips and her face was set as hard as the most ruthless military instructor. "You will do what I say and only what I say. You only get one chance at this so the first time you go ignore my orders, I'm done. Understood?" Flynn snapped to perfect attention, "Yes, ma'am!" ~*~*~*~ "I need your help figuring out something for White Day." Ludger nearly jumped at the sudden voice behind him. He turned to find Yuri there, arms crossed and stance as easy as ever. Ludger gave him an odd look. "How am I supposed to help you with something like that? I know for a fact you don't have issues working with chocolates, Elle raved about the bonbons you made last year for weeks." "And if this was for any normal person, it wouldn't be a problem." Yuri tsked. "Unfortunately, Flynn's got a fucked up sense of taste and doesn't care that much for sweets." "...Flynn?" Ludger asked with a slow blink. "You're doing this for Flynn?" Yuri just shrugged as if this was a perfectly normal thing. "Sure. Mileena said on White Day guys are supposed to give gifts to girls and people important to them, right?" "I suppose that's true." He wasn't sure if it actually was. Asides from Kocis and Ix whose relationship was somewhat unique, Ludger didn't think any of the other guys gave their guy friends, childhood or otherwise, a gift. On the other hand, he also didn't want to get into an argument over it. "But why do you think I can help?" "You're more experimental with your recipes than Velvet and they mostly come out pretty good. You might have better ideas how to make a chocolate he'd like." Well, Ludger wasn't exactly immune to praise, especially when it came from someone whose cooking skills he respected. "If nothing else, I can at least try. What are his preferred tastes?" Yuri's expression flattened out, apparently already expecting his words to screw everything up. "Savory. Spicy. Meat." Sure enough, Ludger's thoughts skidded to a halt. He put one hand to a table and the other to his head. "Oh boy." ~*~*~*~ Velvet set down the recipe on the counter in front of Flynn. "Here. The ingredients and technique are simple but the results- when done correctly -make it seem much fancier and complicated than it actually is." She gave him a moment to skim over the paper before slapping her hand on the counter to get his attention. "First lesson: cooking is an art, baking is a science. Experimenting and changing recipes is much easier when you cook because you can constantly taste and adjust the food's flavor. With baking, once it's in the oven, that's basically it. Once it's been cooked, it's near impossible to change the flavor or texture. That means, with the way the ingredients and heat interacts, unless you really know what you're doing," Velvet got right up in his face, eyes deadly serious, "never deviate from the recipe." Flynn swallowed reflexively. "Understood." Velvet watched with a hawkish, critical eye as Flynn pulled the ingredients and dishes out, treating this as seriously as he would a strategy meeting and, while she found that hilarious, it was also understandable. Cooking for someone could leave you feeling surprisingly vulnerable, especially when it was for a special occasion. Even with all her confidence and experience, Velvet still felt that on occasion. She stayed silent and vigilant, speaking up only to instruct Flynn to grease the ramekins more. When he'd done so to her satisfaction and placed them aside, Velvet looked down at the ramekins, going over the count in her head: Estelle, Rita, Judith, one for Velvet to test... "Why are there five?" Flynn paused in measuring out the ingredients, checking to make sure he hadn't miscounted. "One for you, Lady Estellise, Rita, Judith and Yuri." "Yuri?" "Of course. It's a day for men to show appreciation to the people important to them, I can hardly leave out my best friend." ~*~*~*~ After a number of trials and errors- and an emergency shopping trip to restock -the two men were fairly certain they'd gotten a recipe that wouldn't burn while making, wasn't too brittle and wasn't overwhelming. Of course, given the ingredients, neither of them felt qualified to actually judge how good it was. Deciding to stay out of the process for making the chocolate that would actually go to Flynn, Ludger asked, "So why exactly are you making chocolate for Flynn? Especially since you said he's not particularly fond of sweets?" "I told you already," Yuri said, intently focused on his chopping. "I know, I just don't remember you giving something to Karol or Raven last year." "Yeah, well I also didn't spend nearly every moment for over ten years hanging out with them." Well, Ludger had to give him that. Then Yuri added, "Besides, he'd gonna get me something so I need to give him a gift in return." ~*~*~*~ Velvet still seemed unconvinced. "So you're doing this because you think he's going to make you something?" "I know he is," Flynn said with utmost confidence. ~*~*~*~ "What makes you so certain of that?" Ludger asked. Yuri scowled- the one everyone knew was just for show. "Because that's just-" ~*~*~*~ "-the kind of guy he is," Flynn said with a bright smile. ~*~*~*~ Gatherings for gift exchanges on holidays in the dining area was becoming customary, several tables filled with groups chatting and passing things around. Yuri had already given the women of his group their chocolates, each decorated and personalized for each one though they were happy to break off a piece so one of the others could give it a try. Yuri was preening at their compliments. Velvet, part out of curiosity and part to be supportive, helped Flynn bring out the plates before joining her own group. Each small dish had a delicately ridged, slightly tapered cake placed in the middle, liberally dusted with powdered sugar and a bright red strawberry, sliced and fanned out on top. Velvet hadn't even had to give Flynn any direction on it, his eye for detail apparently extended to gorgeous plating. She put her plates down in front of Judith and Estelle, both women's eyes brightening at the sight but there was still something stiff in their posture. "How pretty," Judith said, picking the fork up from the plate but making no move to actually try it. "You followed a recipe for this, right?" Yuri asked, glaring suspiciously down at the plates Flynn set in front of him and Rita. "He did," Velvet answered instead as Flynn took the last remaining seat. "I was with him to whole time." Yuri's glare intensified. "Are you sure?" Velvet glared right back at him. "Do you really think he could sneak something by me? Especially when it comes to food?" "Well, we should at least try it," Estelle said slowly despite her encouragement. She, also, didn't make a move to actually take a bite. Velvet rolled her eyes. "He made an extra and I tried it. I wouldn't let him feed you anything inedible." Yuri grabbed his fork like he was grabbing his sword. "Alright. Here goes." He pierced the edge of the cake, chocolate oozing out from the middle, screwed his face up like he was saying a prayer and shoved it into his mouth. His eyes shot open. "Oh. That's really good." Flynn beamed like he'd just discovered world peace. The girls dove into it a heartbeat later, each heaping praise on Flynn at first taste. Yuri, already on his third bite, paused to slide the package he'd brought towards Flynn. "Here. For you." "Thank you," Flynn carefully worked a finger under the seams, opening the gift without ripping the paper. "You didn't have to, you know." "Yeah, I did. Tried to tailor it to your taste so I don't know if you'll actually like it." It was a seemingly plain bar of chocolate but when Flynn bit at the corner, his eyes went wide. "Yuri, this is amazing!" "Heh. Good to know." Seeing that uncharacteristically soft smile on Yuri's lips, Velvet decided it was best to make her escape. ~*~*~*~ Ludger waited a discreet distance to intercept Velvet. "Surprised to see you playing waiter." "More like reassurance," she said blandly. "That Flynn hadn't accidentally poisoned them." His eyes flickered to the table, then back at Velvet. "Out of curiosity, did Flynn say why he made one for Yuri?" Sensing there was more to it than simple curiosity, Velvet studied Ludger closely. "Because Yuri is his best friend and Flynn was certain he'd make something in return," she said slowly, "why?" "Huh. That's pretty much exactly the reason Yuri said he made something for Flynn." Ludger couldn't quite tell if Velvet was amused, annoyed or apathetic. "So let me get this straight. Yuri made Flynn chocolate as a return gift for the chocolate he made as a return gift for Yuri." "Well," he hooked his thumbs in his pockets, "they weren't wrong about the other getting them chocolate." For a long moment, Velvet stayed quiet. Then, "They're both idiots in the exact same way, aren't they?" "I'm kinda getting that, too." It looked like everyone had or was just about finished with their cakes and there had yet to be any abrupt exits, blanching or chugging down water. All good signs in Ludger's book. "You helped Flynn make chocolate lava cakes?" "Watched, really," Velvet said. "He followed the recipe without any problem, picked up techniques quickly and they came out perfectly fine. Not anything like the kitchen disaster I was expecting. He even did the plating without any help. I don't know what Yuri's talking about." There was a brief pause. "Wait- you said he followed a recipe?" "Of course. I told him he wasn't allowed to deviate even the slightest." Ludger nodded to himself, "I think I get it. Yuri wanted my help making a chocolate bar because he said Flynn has, uh, unique tastes." "You helped Yuri make a chocolate bar?" The question was obvious in her words and, at the face Ludger made, Velvet looked like she almost didn't want to know. "What kind is it?" "It has chopped bacon and ground chili peppers." Her mouth pressed into a thin line, watching Flynn happily take another bite, oblivious to her, Ludger and Yuri's disturbed expressions. "Yeah. Now I get it." ------------------------------------------------- Honestly Mikleo thought the addition of Flynn was one of the best things to happen to the group. He basically took over assigning field and guard duties and helped Cress out with training. It allowed Jade and Leon to focus more on the finance and logistics and intelligence gathering side of things which meant Mikleo really didn't have to deal with an infuriating cryptic or overbearing critic anymore. He was also thankful for the fact Flynn came at it more like a taskmaster than an officer, preferring to ask for volunteers rather than ordering someone for a mission and trying to keep assignments within the person's interests or skill sets whenever possible. A number of Nexuses were or had been part of the military on their respective worlds and while Mikleo's experience with an actual military organization was pretty minimal, it was a relief that Flynn had no interest in restructuring the group into a military framework. Though, he'd admit, the military's tendency to organize and schedule things did come in handy from time to time. There were two kitchens anyone could use at any given time though, by unspoken agreement, the larger one was reserved for those who had cooking duty while the smaller was for those who could cook for themselves so the chef for the day didn't have to cook for everyone. With such a huge group, it was unfeasible to expect one person to feed them all on their own so there were always volunteers to help out in the kitchen. And despite all the work he did, Flynn often checked the kitchen to ensure there was enough people working and was always willing to chip in his own time if staffing was lacking for any reason. Whenever Yuri was on kitchen duty, Flynn, more often than not, was in there with him. It was somewhat surprising, really, given Yuri had be vehement about not allowing Flynn to cook- which didn't stop Velvet from allowing the knight to help her but most things didn't stop Velvet. Then again, Flynn was generally relegated to things like prep, washing and chopping food, getting out tools and dishes, setting things up to serve and cleaning up afterward. Mikleo volunteered to help them when he could, he found the way Yuri and Flynn worked together fascinating. They seemed to have an instinctual awareness for each other, always aware of where the other was and when they were in need of something. It was almost like a dance. Mikleo, conversely, had nearly bumped into or been bumped into on numerous occasion no matter how he tried to keep out of the way. He couldn't help saying, when the food had been set out and the three of them were cleaning up, "You two work surprisingly well in a kitchen." Yuri shrugged, putting some of the food into containers to be taken to those that wouldn't be able to make it to dinner. "We spent a few years working at an inn to pay for board. I cooked, he cleaned." "And did whatever odd jobs the owners needed to have done," Flynn added, taking the dishes Mikleo had washed and drying them off. "Is that how Yuri got to be such a good cook?" "And why Flynn became such a clean freak." Flynn shot his friend a mild glare. "If you knew how some people left their rooms, you'd understand." He turned back to Mikleo with a faint grin, "It was also rather meditative. Not a lot of people interrupt cleaning staff so I always had time to organize my thoughts." "You should've seen it during the rainy season," Yuri grinned, leaning over to look at Mikleo passed Flynn's shoulder. "He'd sit by the door with a mop and bucket, trailing after anyone tracking mud, no matter who it was." "Dried mud is pain to clean up!" Flynn protested. Yuri's eyes suddenly lit up. "Hey, you remember the time you reamed that captain for dumping his filthy cloak on the floor?" Flynn's mouth opened, the beginnings of a justification on his lips when he abruptly froze. His eyes went large and Yuri's grin wicked. Flynn didn't even react when Mikleo nudged his hand with a ladle. ".....that was Captain Schwann." Yuri roared with laughter. "Hell yeah, it was!" He slapped Flynn's back and Flynn closed his eyes with a pained sigh. "I can't believe I'd forgotten about that!" "I can't believe you reminded me of it." "Schwann?" Mikleo prodded at Flynn's hand again until he took the ladle. "Isn't that Raven's old name?" Yuri was still chuckling, smirking broadly. "I'm gonna have to ask if he remembers that." "You don't have to," there was something almost pleading in Flynn's voice. "Oh, I absolutely do. You yelled at him until he went out on the stoop and wrung out his cloak then made him hang it up!" Packing up the last of the containers, Yuri wrapped them up in a large cloth. "I'm gonna take this to Rita and the other eggheads." He gave them a wink. "I'll leave the rest to you!" Then he was off and Flynn glowered after him. Mikleo did his best to stifle his laughter. "He really seems to enjoy pressing your buttons." "Too much, sometimes." He took the last plate from Mikleo who then drained the sink. "But I suppose that's to be expected with childhood friends." "I can understand that. Sorey and I have had our fair share of arguments." "Oh yeah, you two are childhood friends as well, right?" "Yup." With the last of the water gone, Mikleo began to wipe down the sink. "We've been together ever since I can remember." Flynn chuckled, "I can barely remember what life was like before I knew Yuri." He put the dry plate on a stack, taking a portion of it to put into the cupboard while Mikleo put the utensils back in their drawers. "Have you two been together the whole time?" "A little while back we went about three years without hardly speaking to each other. I told myself it was because I was too busy or because of some silly slight from the last time we passed each other by but, I can admit now, it was because I was hoping he'd miss me enough to come back to the Knights." "Was it difficult?" Mikleo asked as they put away the last of the dishes. "Absolutely. Not in the same way losing my parents was or trying to survive on the streets before the inn keeper took us in, but it was a hardship I never had to deal with before: being without my greatest support. But I think it was the best for both of us. Admittedly, Yuri did flounder a bit, but we got out of each other's shadows and grew into our own person." Flynn rinsed off the towel, then wrung it out and began to wipe down the counters. "Introspection is much easier when you don't have someone covering up your weaknesses." His brow furrowed, something inside knotting uncomfortably at Flynn's words. "Do you mean you think being with someone for too long stunts your growth?" "Ah, that did sound like that, didn't it?" Flynn tilted his head to one side as he thought over his words. "Can, I think, would be more accurate. And I'm certainly not suggesting cutting off ties for years is the way to go, but taking a day or two for self-reflection every once in a while is helpful. And, even if something does happen that keeps you separated, you'll realize that you carry a piece of them inside your heart. That the time you spent together and the memory of them has and continues to shape you into the person that you are." Mikleo liked the way it sounded much more. "So?" He asked teasingly, "How did Yuri shape you?" Flynn just laughed. "Oh, patience and forgiveness, mostly." "He certainly strikes me as the kind of person that gets into trouble easily." "True. But mostly I meant forgiving myself." Mikleo paused, then turned to look up at Flynn. "What do you mean?" "Yuri likes to point out my flaws and mistakes. To tease me, mostly, but also to remind me that I'm only human." Flynn grinned self-effacingly. "Sometimes, even though I know better, I expect myself to make every decision perfectly, no matter the circumstances." "So Yuri reminds you to forgive your imperfections?" "Something like that. But also he's been with me through the worst times in my life and no matter how badly I screwed up or the times when I wanted to hate myself, he always forgave me. And even though I have issues with the way Yuri goes about some things, there's no one I trust more, nothing I have more faith in than him." He smiled at Mikleo, something warm and deep that was a lot like being wrapped in the sun. "I figure if someone like him can forgive me when I'm at my worst, then I could learn to forgive myself, too." The sheer faith momentarily took Mikleo's breath away. "That... that's an amazing sentiment. I can't imagine what that's like." Or admit that it made him a little jealous. "Really? Your relationship with Sorey seems quite similar." "Not quite to that level." "You're closer than you think," Flynn said, squeezing Mikleo's shoulder. "You just have to have as much faith in yourself as you have in Sorey." "That can be surprisingly difficult sometimes," he said ruefully. "I know. But that's why you need people like Yuri or Sorey in your life. Someone that will always remind you that, no matter how much you want to give up on yourself, you're still worthwhile." They lapsed into silence, Mikleo lost in thought. That brief pang of jealousy of the bond between Flynn and Yuri- unbreakable, irreplaceable -had faded at Flynn's words. What he and Sorey had was just as deep and strong, just different. And, more importantly, it was theirs. That revelation had Mikleo smiling to himself throughout the rest of clean up. ------------------------------------------------- "Excuse me." Yuri looked down at the hesitant voice addressing him from somewhere around lower-torso level. He recognized her immediately as Chester's little sister. "What's up?" "Um," she said, pressing her lips together and tugging at her skirt. "Can you braid my hair?" Yuri leaned down, hands braced on his thighs so he was eye level with Ami. "That's a weird thing to ask a random person." "Chester said he was gonna do it this morning but him and Cress got called off to do something else and I don't know when they're gonna come back." "There's plenty of women that can braid hair." At least Yuri was mostly sure of this. Ami's mouth twisted, looking much like Ted or Karol did when they were about to admit something they thought was childish and dumb. "When Chester or Cress braid my hair, they always hum or sing me songs and it's... not as comforting when it's a lady." Considering the issues that came up with her exoflection, Yuri didn't have the heart to deny her such a simple comfort. He stood upright. "Well, if that's the case I can't really help you. I've never braided my hair. But," he said as Ami's face fell, "I know someone perfect for the job." When the situation was explained to Flynn, he just nodded and began to remove his gauntlets. "In that case, we'll share the job. I'll braid your hair and Yuri can sing." "Why are you volunteering me for this?" Flynn merely lifted an eyebrow. "Seems fair considering you volunteered me." He noticed Ami's look of concerned and smiled warmly at her. "Don't worry, Yuri has a good singing voice though he hasn't done it much since we were kids. Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable." He hadn't sung much because Flynn used to always watch him with an expression that made Yuri self-conscious. Not that he'd ever admit to it, of course. "I'll hum instead," Yuri announced before all but throwing himself down on the nearby couch, arms crossed behind his head and eyes closed. He heard Flynn ask Ami if she was ready and the little girl's quietly excited reply, then Yuri began to hum. It was one of Ranko's songs, one she said she sang as a duet. Flynn seemed to like it. A few bars into it, Yuri cracked an eye open and watched his friend comb his fingers through Ami's thick hair. From the small smile on Flynn's face, even with the slowed tempo Yuri hummed, he obviously recognized the tune. "How do you know how to braid hair?" Ami asked after a while. "I used to braid Yuri's when we were kids. Sometimes I put flowers and clovers in there." "Really? That sound so cool!" "I also used to help him put his hair in buns and twists, too." "Chester never does fun stuff with his hair and he won't let anyone but me play with it. How come Yuri lets you play with his?" Flynn didn't say anything but Yuri could practically feel the glance his way so Yuri said, "When I decided to grow my hair out, some older kids gave me a tough time about. They'd tease me, pull it, try to tangle it up." Ami made an angry sound. "Some boys did that to me, too, but Chester and Cress never let them get away with it." "Boys are the worst," Yuri said decisively. "They are! They stopped when one tried to put mud in my hair and I punched him in the nose. All the moms wanted Chester to punish me but he couldn't stop laughing." Yuri snickered and he heard Flynn chuckle as well. "Flynn would stick up for me, too. Once, though, one of 'em manage to cut a good three inches out of my hair. That was when Flynn started helping me put it up until I got big enough to fight 'em off myself." "I'm sorry. You have such pretty hair." "Thanks," Yuri craned his neck around to smile at Ami. Flynn was carefully sectioning out her hair on one side. "I talked Flynn into growing his out once but it kept turning into a tangled mess no matter what we tried. Even when it's short like that, he can't do anything with it." "I'm perfectly happy with my hair how it is," Flynn said dryly. "I know you are 'cause no one can tell you haven't brushed it." Ami giggled and Flynn tried to hide the twitching of his lips. "Aren't you supposed to be humming?" "Right, right." When Flynn had finished and handed Ami a mirror to look into, she gasped. "It's so pretty and fancy! Did you braid Yuri's hair like this, too?" A thick braid ran down each side of her head and where they met at the nape of her neck, he'd blended them into one. "No," Flynn said a little wistfully, "Yuri wouldn't let me get too creative with his hair." "But when the girls and young women in our side of town found out how well he braided hair, they came to him all the time to do theirs. Before festivals, there'd be an entire line of women waiting for him." Yuri snickered. "All the guys were so jealous." Flynn just rolled his eyes. "Not like they couldn't learn themselves." Yuri just snickered harder because that had never been the point. "Ami!" Elle half called, half sang as she came in, "finally got back from shopping, did you wanna- oh wow! Your hair is so pretty!" "Thanks!" Ami kicked her legs happily, beaming at her friend. "Flynn did it for me!" "You can do braids?" Elle asked with wide eyes. "My daddy would do it for me sometimes. Ludger tries but they always come out." "If I may," Flynn said, holding out a hand near Elle's hair and running his fingers through it when she nodded. "Hmm. Fine hair tends to have trouble staying up. Yuri's hair is thicker than yours but also pretty fine so I think can make yours work." "He said he can even put flowers in it!" Ami said. "Really?" Flynn laughed. "Why don't you two gather whatever flowers you want me to put in your hair? I can redo Ami's hair after I do Elle's." "Yay!" The girls bolted for the door. "Thanks, Flynn!" After a moment, Yuri sat up on the couch. "You're such a sap." "I may be." Flynn patted the seat Ami had vacated. "Want me to braid your hair while we wait?" "...sure, why not." ------------------------------------------------- He'd been floating on the edge of consciousness for some time before a knocking pulled him out completely. "Yuri? Have you seen Flynn? No one's seen him today." Groggy from lack of sleep, Flynn half-turned to his back. In part to pull out the strands of Yuri's hair that had gotten into his mouth before pushing himself from the bed. It really wasn't big enough for two men to sleep comfortably but neither had the bed at the Comet they shared right up until they joined the Knights. Flynn supposed it was a good thing they'd gotten used to sleeping piled on top of each other long before they reached the age when most boys found that degree of closeness to be awkward. He padded, bare foot, across the floor, putting on a shirt- Yuri's -as he went and scrubbing a hand through his unruly hair. When Flynn opened the door he found Ix there, staring at him with wide eyes. "Oh! Uh... sorry, did I wake you?" "It's fine." He'd worked on less sleep many times before. "Is there something wrong with your room? I know it can't be comfortable having to share a room with three other people. Sorry, Mileena didn't think there'd be so many of you when she made this place." Even with those that decided to stay on the Heimdallr with the Salvation Front, a lot of rooms had to double-up to fit all the exoflected. It was a good thing Yuri had picked one of the smaller rooms from the start, he didn't have to share with anyone but Repede. And now occasionally Flynn. "It's fine," he said again. Before Mileena had gotten around to exoflecting another bunkbed in one of the larger rooms, Flynn shared Yuri's bed. Just like old times. "And I enjoy my roommates." Sharing a space with Asbel, Hubert and Kor was a lot like living in the barracks before Flynn became an officer. It was kind of nice. A few had offered to give him a room of his own in deference to his rank but he'd been adamant about not turning this into a military operation or getting special treatment. "Then I'm interrupting something private." "Ix." When he looked up, Flynn just gave him a warm smile. "It's alright. There's nothing you need to worry about." Ix hummed, gaze dropping again and it took Flynna a moment to realize Ix's eyes were caught somewhere around sternum-level. Flynn looked down at the star-burst shaped scar on his chest- more of a burn, really -perfectly framed by the edges of Yuri's shirt. "Ah. That. I'm sure you understand," he told Ix with a faint smile, "it's better to risk your life than someone you love." His expression went pensive, something Flynn was quickly learning was fairly common on the young man. "It must have been painful." Flynn thought back about how hard it was to breathe, not just from taking Alexei's attack to his chest but from hearing that Yuri had gone missing, that he must have fallen off Zaude. How, day after day, ships and soldiers combing the ocean and shore would report back to him having found nothing. Then, one day, with his hope just a tenuous string, he'd gotten a letter from Estelle saying Yuri showed up in Zaphias, injured but well, and they were off to Zopheir to test a hypothesis of Rita's and for the first time in a week Flynn could breathe clearly. "Yes," he said softly, "but it was worth it." Ix gave a little huff of laughter. "I'm kind of envious how open you are about these things." "Well," Flynn looked over to where Yuri still lay on the bed, having scooted over to take up some of the space Flynn had vacated. "It took a lot of time and hardship to get to this point." He looked back at Ix and smiled. "But that was also worth it." When Ix's pensive look remained, Flynn asked, "Is something on your mind?" "I..." he bit his lip, visibly gathering his thoughts. "I agree that taking on danger in order to protect those I care about is worth the risk but... are you ever frightened about the thought that the person you care about thinks the same? That they'll take on the danger to protect you?" "Of course," Flynn said without hesitation. "If they weren't important to me, it wouldn't be frightening. It can be difficult, even painful, when they take that burden for me, but I'd imagine it hurts them just as much to see me take theirs. And because they're important to me, I have to respect their wishes. There is, however, a vast difference between respecting someone's wishes and allowing them to act thoughtlessly and recklessly." He sighed, memories bubbling up in the back of his thoughts as he spoke. "There may certainly be disagreements as to which side of that line someone's decision falls on." He gave Ix a gentle look. "However, while one's willingness to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others can be noble, I think it's better to protect each other and face the danger together." Ix's his smile was subdued but bright, something in his eyes settling more comfortably. "I'm glad you're here. Having so many unique and eccentric personalities can be fun but also really draining to deal with. It's nice to have more people mature enough to give open and sensible advice around." Flynn laughed quietly. "Well, I know not everyone appreciates that. But I'll endeavor to help out whenever you or any of the others need me." "Sure, just remember to take care of yourself, too. And let me know if you ever need anything. We're in this together, after all." Ix waved before retreating down the hall. Closing the door, Flynn shrugged out of the shirt before brushing Yuri's hair out of the way and sliding back into bed. "Wuzzit?" Yuri murmured, still mostly asleep. "Ix." "Wha'd he want?" "I think the shock of seeing me partially dressed in your room first thing in the morning made him forget to ask. Sorry. Pretty sure he thinks we're sleeping together." Yuri let out a soft, amused snort. "Not inaccurate." He turned his head, not enough to actually see Flynn but enough so Flynn knew he was irritated. "Yer lettin' the cold air in." "Move your legs, I'm about to fall off the bed." Yuri let out a put-upon sigh, shifting his legs enough so Flynn could tangle his own with them. They lay there, pressed skin to skin, one of Flynn's arms resting comfortably over Yuri's waist, breathing matched long and slow. After a while, however, Yuri said, "Can feel you thinkin'." "Sorry." "Don' be sorry. Sleep." "I don't think I can." "Still tired, aren't ya?" "Yeah," Flynn admitted. He started to move again. "But if people are looking for me, I should get up. There's plenty I could be-" "Nope," Yuri didn't move his face from the pillow but he grabbed at Flynn's wrist. "Yer nightmare's bad 'nough you came to me in th' middle o' the night, you need ta sleep in." Then, before Flynn could protest or argue, "Repede!" Almost instantly the bed dipped and Flynn looked down just as Repede settled his head heavily on Flynn's thigh. The man sighed, letting his head drop back down next to Yuri's. "Try'n move now." Yuri shifted just enough to send a smug, sideways look to Flynn. "Don't wanna disturb our sweet li'l puppy, do ya?" Glancing down at Repede, the dog merely stared back at Flynn, amusement clear in his one eye. Flynn sighed again, body relaxing. "You're both terrible." Yuri chuckled, drawing Flynn's arm further around him. "Love you, too." Flynn just pressed his face against Yuri's back, hiding a smile in his hair.

[janiedean]

It really sucks how judgmental you and some people in this fandom are of anyone who doesn't interpret the text the same way as you or who you deem as intellectually inferior to you. I agree with so many of your ideas about the characters, but I hate how high and mighty you are about those ideas. Someone isn't an idiot if they interpret Jon or Cersei differently than you.

......

lmao

okay anon, thing is: one thing is being high and mighty, one thing is telling you that you’re not reading the text.

like. I read yesterday someone being like ‘omg I read someone dared saying C. abused people and murdered someone before puberty HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE BE’. it’s textual evidence that a) she molested tyrion sexually and that’s even without taking account my opinion re lann*ncest, b) that SHE KILLED MELARA WHEN THEY WERE TWELVE THROWING THE POOR GIRL DOWN A WELL, which means that whoever said it cannot fucking read the text because it’s black on white that she did both those things and refusing to accept it is Not Reading The Text. that’s not even text interpretation, that’s basic textual reading.

now: never mind cersei who gets a pass for about every fucking shit she pulls because she’s a woman, and don’t tell me she doesn’t because if she got as much shit about robert’s fifteen bastards that she ordered dead without even blinking as theon got for two kids that he’s felt guilty about since it happened then we could discuss it but she doesn’t and that’s not even the beginning of it. now: do you see me tagging my opinions? like, honestly, if I think something shitty about cersei, do you see me tagging it? I didn’t even tag the one time I ranted about the valonqar prophecy with her, I only tagged it with the prophecy/meta/the two characters I thought were the v. and the younger and more beautiful queen, because in the middle I said that imo cersei only cares for herself and I know ppl on her tag aren’t into reading that opinion. so: I didn’t tag it. now: how many people came in my inbox informing me my opinion of c. sucked, was biased and so on never mind lann*ncest never mind actually harassing me for it? well, enough that I had to shut down anon to avoid feeling like shit for two days about it. so like, I’m so high and mighty that I keep my opinions about people I don’t like untagged even if I think that the other side can’t read. but okay.

now, about jonc: listen, fact is, there’s exactly ten people in this fandom that I know of who give a shit about jonc period and three of them are fanartists who show up once in a while. like. exactly TEN. I made peace with the fact that no one gives a fuck about jonc, I 100% embraced that if I want content I have to do it myself, fine, whatever. but what I’m really getting sick of is that every goddamned fucking time I see the jonc tag updating (as in, five times each month if it’s a good month), it’s someone informing us of how selfish, pathetic, useless and dumb he is FOR THINGS THAT ALL OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY DO ALL THE TIME and for which fandom at large praises them. or something about how him being in love with R is the most horribly pathetic thing that’s happened to adwd, or how he’s an idiot because he apparently hasn’t understood that aegon is fake because his eyes aren’t the same color as R’s when not even dany’s or viserys’s are, but no one says they aren’t targs for THAT now, do they? and sorry but reading that this dude would treat either rhaenys or jon snow like shit when this is canon:

Last night he'd dreamt of Stoney Sept again. Alone, with sword in hand, he ran from house to house, smashing down doors, racing up stairs, leaping from roof to roof, as his ears rang to the sound of distant bells. Deep bronze booms and silver chiming pounded through his skull, a maddening cacophony of noise that grew ever louder until it seemed as if his head would explode. Seventeen years had come and gone since the Battle of the Bells, yet the sound of bells ringing still tied a knot in his guts. 

Others might claim that the realm was lost when Prince Rhaegar fell to Robert's warhammer on the Trident, but the Battle of the Trident would never have been fought if the griffin had only slain the stag there in Stoney Sept. The bells tolled for all of us that day. For Aerys and his queen, for Elia of Dorne and her little daughter, for every true man and honest woman in the Seven Kingdoms. And for my silver prince.

now: it’s there black on white that he feels guilty for BOTH elia’s and rhaenys’s death, it’s not interpretation, it’s what is fucking written in there same as you can’t interpret that ned’s head got cut or cat’s last thought before she died was about ned loving her hair. so excuse me but I’m tired of going into a character who’s in my goddamned top ten and have to always, always run into people assuming he’s a pathetic selfish asshole (and the one time I tried to argue that there’s no way he’s *selfish*, maybe all the contrary to a pathological degree, the answer was basically ‘lol cannot hear you’ and not even a reblog but nvm that) rather than actual content because any of those people who have a obvious hateboner for jonc can’t just fucking tag it with *anti* jon connington. no, they have to use the character name and it’s never *content*, it’s just this drivel over and over again. and since I don’t do it with characters I don’t like, I’d appreciate if I could have the same courtesy spared for this asshole.

that said, the situation is that *one* single person (that I blocked but that’s apparently not enough for tumblr to spare me from seeing them on the tag) has asked that question to multiple blogs which all agree on jonc being shitty which means that it has popped up on the tag a whole lot in the last month and like....... if you don’t like that character why do you care so much, IDEK, but wow, I wrote one post, that I tagged with the character only, saying that ppl don’t bother to read his chapters (btw, one of the people who replied that he’d have been shitty to both jon and rhaenys was someone I ended up blocking because they were on the tag like ‘lololol grayscale I’m sure elia is laughing from the afterlife’ and when I told them it wasn’t funny and if they could avoid tagging that stuff I got told to fuck off but fine I guess, that was me being holier than thou I suppose...) which is true because they don’t, they only base their reading of jonc on that ONE line about elia which is a) obv. proof he’s jealous, b) way less bad than anything cersei and barristan think about her just to say two but lmao I don’t see them getting dragged for it, but everything else? what? two full chapters? do they exist? tyrion’s chapers? never knew them.

like.

anon, tbqh at this point if you wanna think I’m holier than thou just think that because while I like to think I’m not, if there is one thing I know I’m good at is text analysis (okay, last time I said I got two degrees based on text analysis I got told ‘ah okay so if she studies she’s obv. bragging so she knows nothing’ by someone whose main theory was robb stark is the unsung villain of these books but lol I mean having studied this counts for nothing, right???) and it irks me that in a fandom based on books/text analysis I have to read **meta** which is obviously made by people who haven’t read the text and then when given a counterargument ignore it. but even with that, do you see me engaging with it? nah. I can 100% assure you none of the people I would like to see out of the jonc tag actually go on the jonc tag nor follow me, so they will never know that I think their opinion is shit unless they go looking for it. and this because I might have engaged with at least two of them on the topic once - and nicely, not *judgmentally* - and no one gave a shit or reconsidered their stance, so like, excuse me if once per month I write a post on my own blog venting about how imo a character I like gets a shit treatment.

and for the love of god, anon, sorry, glad you like my opinions, but the fact that you’re coming at me assuming I am judgmental when I come from a fucking month and a half of people literally harassing me on anon over my fucking triple-tagged opinions on c/ersei and lann/incest and ignoring anything I said about how uncomfortable it was making me just because I happened to, in the most generous explanation, WRITE A META WHERE I C/P-ED CANON QUOTES WHERE C. WAS AWFUL TO J. WHEN IT CAME TO HIS DISABILITY which GRRM wrote, certainly not *me*, and it happened to get reblogged by asoiafuni, is really, really rich.

like, I tagged that shit to hell and back so people who aren’t interested in jb wouldn’t find it, I made sure to warn every time, I even tag anti-c/antijc posts so they don’t show up on mobile search in case ppl don’t have the anti tag blacklisted because I’m THAT invested into making sure other people can blacklist if they feel like it, but I can’t fucking say on my blog that I think some people in this fandom pull their meta out of their asses and haven’t even read the chapters of the character they’re supposed to discuss? like... really?

also, I’ll tell you a secret: I don’t remember 90% of what happened in dany’s adwd chapters and I don’t remember about 60% of what happened in her got-asos chapters. zero. now: do you see me meta-ing about dany and/or discuss her arc if not in extremely broad terms unless asked? no, because while I don’t particularly like her, I also don’t think it’d be fair for me to meta about her BECAUSE IF I DON’T REMEMBER HER CHAPTERS THEN I’D BE PULLING OPINIONS OUT OF MY ASS, and I don’t go judging anyone’s opinion re dany beyond the basics because mine is that her chapters are so boring I can’t even remember them. at most I’ll discuss the show version and I can swear to you that even if I’m not a fan or anything I’m still more lenient with her than about 90% of people who aren’t fans, and since I don’t pull meta out of my ass for people whose chapters I haven’t read, I would be extremely grateful of the rest of this fandom paid jon connington the same damn bloody effort, especially when he has TWO of them and hating on him that way is like... why would you, just ignore his fucking existence and let us ten ppl into him have a decent tag.

btw, the ONE time I dared say on a post that wasn’t tagged to hell and back to avoid people finding it ‘it’s kind of hypocritical that people fight themselves over bi!CHARACTER headcanons *because asoiaf doesn’t have lgbt POV CHARACTERS* when they ignore jonc exist and he actually is an lgbt pov character so maybe it’d be nice if they cared about the rep’, I got someone like WELL HE ISN’T LGBT REP ENOUGH, and on the other side I’ve had people actually giving me shit for liking him/writing him content because I’m straight so how do I dare writing a gay dude, and like, idk, since I can’t like him in peace in that sense, can the universe allow me to at least not see bullshit on the tag or is that too much to ask?

and to end this rant: anon, not to be that person, but fyi I’m hardly the person who dictates how the wind flies in this fandom unless we count maybe theon/robb fandom as a ship, my opinions aren’t nearly as popular as opinions belonging to ppl who imvho don’t read these books and that’s fine, I don’t particularly care beyond cultivating my garden as voltaire used to say and see if anyone else wants to come and see the flowers and in case they’re more than free to take some, but like...... the idea that me expressing an opinion about the fact that people in this fandom don’t use the same standards when judging characters and some haven’t read the book or forgot it and assume they know anyway is somehow being high and mighty when I also don’t tag that shit 99% of the time (with jonc I do it just because I know no one but me and ten other ppl goes on that tag) when there’s people in this fandom who outright deny what’s written black on white and actually literally harass you on anon for it when I can 100% swear to you that the only times I’ve gone on anon in my entire life were for a) memes that required being on anon, b) sending people headcanon requests, c) sending people I ALREADY KNEW and who KNEW IT WAS ME personal things that I didn’t want ppl to attach to me because I don’t owe 100% of my life history to tumblr dot com and I always put my face to my opinions.

like, glad you like my opinions, but honestly, if you think this is me being judgmental, fair enough but maybe I’m also tired of having to read stuff that’s based on not having fucking read the book.

thank you.

[xiezuo]

Reunion

Prompt : If it were only for you, you would have passed on that high school reunion. You didn’t feel like seeing how well your old acquaintances from your teenage years are doing, while your latest and only addition to your family is the cat you bought last week. But your friend insisted that it would be fun, so you went along with it, not thinking for a single moment about the possibility of reuniting with your (almost) ex-boyfriend from high school for the first time in 7 years.

Fandom & Member : Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo — Astro

Warning(s) : Poorly written Smut, also keep in mind that English is not my first language so please excuse my rookie mistakes

Disclaimer : I am aware of Aroha’s stance on smut about Astro, but I am one of those people who feels like it’s time to stop babying the adult members all the time. If you don’t want to read it, that’s fine. Scroll past it, I respect your opinion on the matter. It’s bad anyway so I wouldn’t advise anyone to read it lmao

Word count : 3,404

“You have to come to this reunion,” she said. “It’ll be fun,” she said. You let out a heavy sigh. Really, it was your fault for listening to her; F/N was your best friend and you loved her, but you knew how she was. She loved to overhype things, something she shared with her boyfriend Bin whom she had met when you guys were in junior high.

High school… it was mostly a faded memory now. It wasn’t exactly an awful experience for you, but you wouldn’t describe it as great either. Nothing really ever happened in your life as a teenager, and aside from F/N and Bin, you didn’t have any close friends you kept contact with all these years. Or that you were particularly eager to meet again, at least none that really came to mind.

You decided to tag along anyway, even if you weren’t really excited about seeing how well everyone else was doing. Not that you weren’t doing great yourself, you had a job you loved and a decent apartment, but you were still single with no kids to brag about like all these other acquaintances from your high school years.

So while your social butterfly of a best friend went off to meet other people you couldn’t even bother to remember the name of, you stood alone at the makeshift bar they installed for the night to give rest to your swollen feet. That’s what you get for wearing heels, apparently. Bin seemed to take pity on you, seeing you alone like that, so while F/N was gushing over whatever happened between her and some random girl in the crowd, he approached you.

“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself as much as F/N does,” he chuckled, looking over to his girlfriend.

“Big events like this were never really my thing,” you admitted, looking over to the crowd and taking a sip of your drink. “Plus I don’t know anyone well enough here aside from you and F/N. I’d feel awkward going up to people and start chatting when I’m sure they don’t even remember me.”

Bin frowned, pensive. “What about Dongmin ? It’s been a while but I thought you guys were at least close friends, weren’t you ?”

Lee Dongmin. Here’s a name you hadn’t heard in a while. You should’ve expected him here, though, as he had been your class president all the way through high school. Of course he was going to attend. You subconsciously went stiff in your seat.

“We lost contact after he moved away for college. We haven’t talked since.”

“You should go see him. I think I saw him near the entrance not too long ago.”

“I don’t know, Bin. Things were… awkward when we last saw each other.”

Awkward was the word. You and Dongmin almost dated in senior year, but you both felt like a long distance relationship wouldn’t really work out with him moving away so far. You both tried to at least keep in touch for a little while, but as you were both busy with your lives, you stopped talking to each other when college started. You never told anyone about what happened exactly, and it was better that way. To be frank, if Bin hadn’t talked about him, you would’ve never remembered it.

“Well, I want to talk to him,” he exclaimed as he grabbed your arm, pulling you up from your seat. You looked at him confused. “And there’s no way I’m leaving you here sulking by yourself. Come on.”

You tried to protest, but Bin wouldn’t have it and he dragged you along with him through the crowded gymnasium looking for Dongmin somewhere. It wasn’t really difficult to find him, however, as he was surrounded by a group of girls all at least a foot shorter than him. You didn’t get to get a proper glance at him, but you wondered for a moment if he was always this tall when you knew him.

Then you saw his face. Fuck.

Fuck, he was hot. Not that he wasn’t attractive before, but he was a different kind of attractive. The Dongmin you knew was adorable and charming, with soft features that made him look young and innocent. The Dongmin before you looked anything but innocent. The elegant navy blue suit he wore clung to his body like it was tailored just for him — he looked like a successful business man. A really, really attractive successful business man.

You shook your head. It’s been seven years. You guys didn’t even officially date, although you were once close to. He probably didn’t even remember you. He probably had a wife or at least a girlfriend by now. But why was your heart beating so fast ? It was like seeing him in this instant rekindled the crush you once had on him. You felt quite ridiculous, to be honest with yourself.

“Ōi, Dongmin !” Bin called. “Long time no see, man ! You’re so handsome now !”

Dongmin looked up from the group of girls he was talking to to try and see who called him. When he noticed Bin, who was waving at him like an idiot, a smile crept onto his lips and he excused himself to the group of girls before stepping forward towards you and your friend. But he went straight to Bin to hug him as if he never noticed you were there. You couldn’t lie that you felt slightly hurt by that.

“Binnie ! It’s so good to see you ! You look amazing as well, wow.” Dongmin broke off the embrace. “So, what are you—?” And that’s when he noticed you. He stopped mid-sentence and blinked a few times, as if he was trying to figure out if this was a dream or not. “Y/N ? Is that you ?” His voice came out as a whisper, but you managed to catch it over the loud noise surrounding you.

“Well, I guess it’s time for me to leave,” Bin announced, suddenly feeling out of place, but you and Dongmin both ignored him. It was as if time itself had stopped and nothing else didn’t even exist. Your heart was beating so hard it felt as if it could rip out of your chest in an instant.

Hesitantly, Dongmin reached forward and took you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around your back. It took you a few seconds to recover from shock but you eventually hugged him back, and god, it somehow felt so… right. No, no, no, no, time to come back to reality. You couldn’t possibly still be in love with him after seven years. It sounded crazy. It was crazy. But it was also how you felt in this moment.

“Look at you, you’re stunning,” he gasped, stepping away from the hug but still keeping his hands on your upper arms.

“Back at you,” you giggled, trying to shake away the feeling of awkwardness that was threatening to settle between you once you both pulled away. “I— to be frank, I didn’t expect to see you here, but I guess I should’ve because we were in the same year and you were class president but—“

He smiled fondly at you and chuckled at your ramblings. “I’m glad to see you.” Fuck. He was gorgeous. You remembered him to be one of the prettiest people you had ever seen before, but it seems as though he had a glow up from a glow up and for a second you wondered if he was even real. But his light grip on your arm definitely was real. “Listen, I know we left on… awkward terms, but I’m happy I was able to meet you here. You were someone who was once dear to my heart and— I know this sounds crazy because we’re practically strangers now but I feel like we should catch up on all those years we haven’t seen each other.”

You blinked, trying to process the words he was saying. “Yeah ! Yeah, I feel so too, actually.” God, this was really awkward. It felt so surreal you wondered for a second if you were dreaming.

“What do you say we leave this place and walk around the school for a little ? Unless you want to stay here and want to scream out what you’ve been up to for the last seven years,” he joked and offered you his arm, which you took gladly.

You both left the packed gymnasium, your ears ringing from the loud music playing and the sound of people screaming over each other to be able to hear anything. It felt like a breath of fresh air to get out of that place.

“You still don’t like public events that much, I see,” Dongmin remarked. “That’s another thing that hasn’t changed.”

“Another ? What’s the other thing ?”

Dongmin grinned. “Tell me about yourself first. Then I can tell you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, amused by his playful behaviour. You were glad to see that he hadn’t changed that much since high school, and you were glad. It almost felt as if you never stopped talking all this time.

“Well, I landed a job as a songwriter for this entertainment company called Fantagio, and I love it,” you started, not really knowing where to begin.

“Oh yeah ! I remember you writing lyrics in class instead of paying attention. You never let me read any of them, though.”

Because most of them were about you, you thought, but you couldn’t tell him that. Not after all this time.

“I was insecure about them,” you replied. It technically wasn’t a lie. “But I love my job. I’ve never been really good at singing so I guess that’s my way of connecting with music. What about you ?”

Dongmin hummed. “I graduated from law school 2 years ago. I secured a job at a law firm back in town about six months ago, so I just moved back here. I like it. But I’m planning on becoming a judge someday.”

Still as ambitious as ever, you thought. It was a characteristic you always admired about him, now that you think about it. It’s funny how all those memories you thought you had forgotten suddenly came back to mind just by talking to him.

You stopped walking when you reached the staircase leading to the second floor. Dongmin looked at you and you nodded, following him upstairs. Despite the hallways being dark, so many memories rushed back into mind of your time in this school and despite your time here being really average you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about all of it.

“What about your love life ?” Dongmin suddenly asked.

“Not much is happening on that field,” you joked. “I’ve been single for the past year or so. You ?”

“To be honest, I haven’t had time,” Dongmin laughed. “I guess I wanted to wait until my life was stable enough.”

“That’s understandable.”

Dongmin stayed silent for a little bit. He took in his surroundings, probably remembering all sorts of things just like you did. Then, the name tag on one of the classroom doors seemed to catch his attention. “Mr Koh’s chemistry class,” he smiled. “I remember all the crazy experiments he showed us to make us think science was cool.”

“I mostly remember his horrible dad jokes and the card tricks he liked to perform at the end of class.”

Dongmin turned the handle, expecting it to be locked, but to yours and his surprise, the door was unlocked. You knew Mr Koh kept all of the hazardous components in a separate room at the back, but you couldn’t help but think it was unusual and also quite irresponsible to leave the door to a science lab unlocked. Dongmin looked at your over his shoulder, waiting for your approval. You weren’t sure about this, but you nodded anyway, and you both entered the room.

Nothing much seemed to have changed since you last came here. You didn’t bother to turn on the lights, afraid someone might catch you because of it, but it was bright enough so you could at least see where you were going. You sat on one of the student desks at the front while Dongmin went straight to the board. He cleared his throat and inhaled sharply, as if he were getting into a role.

“For today’s class, kids, I’ll show you a magic trick called : I know you’re not paying attention to me Ms Y/L/N, this is chemistry not poetry class,” he said in a low voice, trying to imitate Mr Koh. You laughed at how terrible his imitation was. “So you think this is funny, huh ? I’m afraid you’ll have to see me after class. This isn’t like you, Ms Y/L/N.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time,” you tried to apologize, but your laughter made you break character almost immediately. You went back down on your feet and Dongmin walked up to you, clearly struggling to keep in character as well. He stood in front of you, putting one hand on the table behind you on each side of your hips to try and look threatening, but the proximity of his body to yours only made your heart skip a beat and your breath hitched. You were glad for the darkness because you could definitely feel yourself blushing.

Dongmin’s gaze locked into yours for a moment, as if he were trying to read your thoughts. Without moving away, he lost it and started laughing lightly, unable to take his role seriously. You laughed along with him, forgetting how close your bodies were until the laughter died back down and Dongmin went back to trying to read into your soul.

“I guess I can tell you what the other thing was,” he whispered. You could feel his breath on your skin. “My heart still skips a beat whenever I see you smile.” He didn’t even let you some time to process his words before his lips were on yours, pressed firmly against them but unmoving, before he drew back. You looked him in the eye. You could see a tint of worry peering through the lustful glow in his dark pupils, as if he was scared he had done something wrong. But all of his worries disappeared when you wrapped your arms around his neck and reconnected your lips together in a more passionate kiss.

He pressed his body against yours, the edge of the table digging into your lower back, and intensified the kiss. He slid his tongue past your lips without a problem and the kiss became sloppy and urgent as you both found yourselves wanting more.

His right hand found the zipper behind your dress and slowly started unzipping it, waiting for any sign of you wanting to stop it from going any further. But you pressed your body even closer to him and he took it as a green light to keep going. You started fumbling with his tie to try and loosen it a bit when he ground his hips into yours, making you gasp in surprise.

“I want you,” he breathed against your swollen lips, a string of saliva still connecting them after he broke the kiss.

“Aren’t you supposed to make a speech soon ? You know, as class president and all,” you panted.

“We still have time if we make it quick.”

“Take me, then,” you responded before kissing him hungrily again.

He groaned and lifted you up to make you sit back on the table, settling between your legs and sliding the dress down your arms. Everything felt rushed, but you didn’t mind at all. You wanted him just as bad as he wanted you. You got him rid of his suit jacket, letting it fall on the floor without a care in the world about how expensive it might have been, and your hands went straight to his belt buckle to untuck his shirt. It was pointless to completely undress each other, so you just opted for unbuttoning his white dress shirt as he sucked a hickey on your collarbone. You threw your head back in pleasure, letting out a small whimper as he bit down on the sensitive skin.

You let your hands trail up and down his defined abs, marvelled at how perfect his body was as he unclasped your bra. Your breath got caught in your throat at the sudden contact with the cold ambient air, but Dongmin didn’t waste any time before he took one of your nipples in his mouth while playing with the other one with his hand. Your left hand reached up to tangle with his raven hair and you gave it a slight tug. You already felt your panties soaking. “Dongmin, please,” you begged.

It wasn’t like him to rush things like that, but he understood the current situation required him to. He slid his hands up your thigh, lifting your dress up in the process, and got rid of your panties in one swift motion. Through clouded eyes, you could’ve sworn you saw him stuff them into his back pocket before he brought his fingers back to your aching core. He slid two of them in slowly, gently scissoring them inside to stretch you out, and you let your head fall forward onto his broad shoulder. The small moans you kept making made him grow more and more impatient, his untouched erection straining almost painfully against the tightness of his dress pants.

“Stop teasing,” you demanded, feeling as eager as him to have him inside of you. He got the message and withdrew his fingers, his lust-clouded mind making it hard for him to concentrate on unbuckling his belt, but he eventually succeeded. His erection sprung free and he gave it a few strokes before lining it up with your entrance.

“Are you sure ?”

“Yes !”

He gently pecked your cheek before pushing himself all the way in slowly, the sting of the stretch a bit painful but oh so amazing at the same time. You hooked your legs around his waist, urging him to just start moving already, which he did. And he wasn’t being really gentle either, but you loved it. You weren’t really worried about people catching you so you let loose and started moaning his name. His relentless pace and strength had you rolling your eyes back, the pleasure soon becoming almost unbearable.

Dongmin crashed his lips against yours once again and lifted your hips up a little bit to adjust the angle, now able to hit your sweet spot, which had you moan into the kiss and hold on to his shoulders for support.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m close, don’t stop !” you cried out, digging your nails into his back.

His thrusts got even more relentless as he was nearing his edge too, and you came undone under him after about a minute. “Can I cum inside ?” he asked softly and you could only nod, not trusting your voice in that moment. His hips stilled and he came in short bursts, his cock twitching inside of you.

He stayed there, holding you tightly in his arms until you came down from your high. Only then did he pull out and tucked himself back into his boxers and pants before grabbing a tissue from the teacher’s desk to clean up the cum dripping down from in between your legs.

You both got dressed again in silence, but it wasn’t awkward like you thought it would be. He even helped you zip your dress back on, although his hands lingered on your skin a little bit too long for it to have been just a friendly gesture.

“Where did you put my panties ?” you asked.

Dongmin grinned and pulled them out of his back pocket, but he raised them up above his head and out of your reach when you tried to grab them. You huffed, unamused.

“Dongmin. Give them back.”

“How about I keep them so you have an excuse to come to my place after this ?” He raised an eyebrow, still smiling.

You would be a liar if you said you didn’t like the idea. “Why would I do that ?”

“So I can fuck you properly this time around.”

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Resistance

Rocker and the Mechanic - Chapter 13 (Previous Chapters)

Fandom: Sing 2016 AU

Pairing: Johnny x Ash (Jash)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Ash confronts Johnny about his amazing singing voice; trying desperately to convince him to join her for her concert performance but what does he have to say about it?

Fanfiction.net

A03

"I want you to perform with me."

The look of dawning realization was as if Johnny was physically hit with a ton of bricks. Hands that had been gesturing and pulling at his clothes mere moments before lay motionless at his sides as he stared down at her like she'd suddenly acquired two extra heads.

"...What?" he squeaked out.

"You heard me."

There was at least twenty different emotions flashing in his eyes; just as many expressions on his face as he slowly absorbed her words. Words that she was still stunned came shooting out of her mouth like a bat outta hell but she was damn determined not to break the stoic mask she put on.

Johnny gaped like a fish before uttering, "I - I… I don't understand."

Ash let out a sigh of aggravation before clarifying, "I, Ash, want you, Johnny, to perform with me. What is it about that statement that you do not understand!?"

"The whole lot of it, I s'pose."

"Listen, if I didn't want you to perform, I wouldn't ask." she tapped her foot impatiently; nerves still frazzled and her brain screaming at her to just leave but her body stayed put in a determined stance. "…Are you coming with me or not?"

"I-I… Wow. Ash, I…I'm flattered - truly, I am, but…I-I can't."

Ash did not like that answer, "You can't, or you won't?" she replied snarkily.

Johnny let out a frustrated breath, hands rummaging through his thick black hair and for a split second, she wondered if it was as unbelievably soft as it looked.

"I can't!" Johnny answered breathily, accent thicker in his growing nervousness, "'m no professional! I'd jus' find some way ta make shambles of it - it ain't in me ta perform in any shape or form! I-I would never want to mess it up for ya."

"I've heard you sing, you'll be fine." she waved her hand in dismissal, "Wait. Do you get stage fright or something?" she asked in dawning realization - desperately praying to God he wasn't. That alone was a deal-breaker for most performers. Ash was not prepared to handle something of that magnitude especially for this spontaneous idea she had; one she was regretting more and more with every second he was valiantly resisting her offer.

"Nah," he shrugged it off. "At least, I don't think so..."

"Then what's your fucking problem?" Ash huffed angrily against her better judgement. She couldn't help it upon catching a glance of the clock and knowing she was losing precious time. What the hell was she thinking in trying to convince this guy?! She must have totally lost her damn mind.

"I'm nothin' special," he replied and while she wondered who the hell told him that (and wanting to punch their face in), it didn't deter her.

Ash sighed, "It's getting late so you better give me a legit reason other than some bullshit excuse that you're not good because newsflash - I already heard you sing."

Johnny was beside himself, mouth opening and closing like a fish; reaching for any excuse not to come with her but his brain obviously wouldn't let any words slip.

"You have a good voice - own it, dammit. and since I couldn't give you money, let me at least do this for you."

Johnny's brows furrowed at that slip of the tongue and his mouth shut with a firm clack of his jaw.

"Wait," he muttered, "Ya think I'm some charity case or somethin'?"

"What? No!" she balked in offense; quills growing taut.

Johnny let out a sigh, his hand lifting again to run his fingers through his hair; nervous habit obviously. By the tilt of his brow and firm set of his mouth, it was becoming clear that he didn't believe her denial and frankly, she wasn't interested in refuting. Let him believe what he wanted - it didn't take her offer off the table regardless of what he thought of her intentions.

It was a long moment before he finally spoke and it wasn't what she expected.

"I-I can't," his voice was terse, harsher than she could have expected from his soft British accent. Perhaps she shouldn't have pushed so hard. But anything she may have tried to say was silenced when he continued with bitterness lacing his voice, "I'm sorry you wasted yer time, but…no. I'm not going - a-and it's getting late. You should go."

"...Seriously?" she muttered in complete and utter shock as she watched him move toward the front door while all she did was stand there looking like a damn fool with her eyes widened and jaw slack.

"Yes. I'm serious. I'm not going - I'm no professional singer and never will be." Johnny spoke sternly; his face an unreadable mask.

Ash gave him a look and opened her mouth to refute him when he continued uninterrupted.

"I'm just a mechanic that likes to sing. Nothing more. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like to at least get a few hours of sleep tonight." the tiredness of his voice and that blatantly harsh but honest statement had her reeling a bit.

It should have made her want to back down but instead, it made her want to fight more. Even as Johnny stood by the door, ready to open it like he actually expected her to obey and leave like he wanted all she thought was 'fat fucking chance'.

"Are you serious right now?" she found her voice, laughing bitterly around the words, "You're really going to let this opportunity pass you by!? Seriously?"

Johnny froze at her voice; body tense and eyes now lingering toward the worn silver handle - it wasn't much, but it was a start. At the very least, she believed she had his attention.

Not giving him a chance to interrupt, she continued. "You yourself said it was a childhood dream, right? Than what the hell is losing a night's worth of sleep compared to a dream you had since you were a kid?"

Johnny slowly turned toward her; intense brown eyes considerate as they bore into hers.

"You really want me to leave when I'm offering for you to sing at one of the biggest venues in the city? Really? Do I need to remind you that I'm already late and I wouldn't do this if I didn't believe you could do it? Fuck, in all honesty, I'm still shocked I'm doing this but I know you'll do great. So, come on? What do ya say?"

Johnny's eyes widened by a fraction and his eyes darted toward his feet and his hand fell away from the door handle.

Checkmate.

The room grew almost deafeningly silent in the moments that followed her statement. One she admittedly felt too damn inspirational and encouraging but it was far too late to take them back now.

Yet the seconds ticked by, each one seemingly slower than the last, Ash hated to admit that she was worried - worried he would say no. That she would be leaving alone, feeling foolish for even making such a sporadic decision to even ask him this! Maddening seconds continued to tick by as Johnny's face remained considerate but blank; eyes not leaving hers for even a second.

In that moment, Ash braced herself for his refusal, denial to give in to her admittedly childish demands that he sing with her; one she made against her better judgement but hell, it wouldn't be the first time she'd done something stupid and it sure won't be the last.

Not wanting him to give him the upper hand, she blurted out, "So? What is it gonna be, huh?"

Johnny pursed his lip for a split second before words she didn't exactly expect leaked from his mouth.

"...can I at least change first?" he asked meekly. Cheeks reddened slightly while standing there in a dirty mechanic's uniform and while he looked damn good in it, even with the stains of grease and grime covering a lot of it, it was probably best he changed.

"Ugh. Fine. Hurry up." she muttered, smirking a bit as she watched him straighten up, smiling timidly at her before he took off toward some nearby stairs. In the terse moments that passed as she waited for his return, she wondered if this was the best or worst idea she's ever had.

[rosymiz]

Like A Rose, Last Chapter: Peace

Title: Like A Rose By: ArisuChanSenpai (Visit my blog for AO3 link!) Fandom: League of Legends Ship: Jhin x Sona

“Shen, I am done with playing your games!” Zed growled as he burst into Sona’s dressing room in anger, taking off Shen’s blue mask and throwing it to the ground. After sensing Shen’s presence backstage, he managed to pull himself away from the annoying musicians. But when he saw Jhin on his knees and subdued with his arms held behind his back, his rage drained away immediately. “You… actually caught him…” The hidden blades in his armor slid out as he slowly stepped towards Jhin. He tugged at the flap of the bodysuit on Jhin’s head, pulling the fabric down to reveal his face. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for years since you escaped that prison,” he hissed, pointing at Jhin. “And now I’m about to deliver your punishment, Golden Demon.”

Before he even raised his blade to kill Jhin, Sona stepped in front of him with her hands out to protect him. Her eyes were swollen and red from her tears, but her expression held a tenacity that stopped Zed.

“Are you trying to protect him?” Zed’s hand balled into a fist as he pointed the tip of the blade at Sona’s chin. “Do you even know what kind of person we’re all dealing with here? He murdered people beyond gruesome ways because he’s a fucking monster!” he spat. “You can’t tell me you knew all this time and still choose his side!”

Sona nodded, but her protective stance didn’t waver and only grew more tense as if she expected him to attack. She wasn’t letting Zed get anywhere near Jhin.

“Hah!” he barked. “You’re really in love with him, aren’t you? I can’t believe he manipulated you into a relationship to have you as an ally.”

A fury ignited in Sona’s heart as she slammed her hands against the strings, producing an angry cacophony. She let out a shaky breath in her fury. “How dare you claim I was manipulated when you don’t even know what happened between us?”

“And you don’t know what happened between us either. He’s a murderer .”

“He was overtaken by a compulsion he had no control over!” she furiously signed.

Zed broke into scornful laughter. “A compulsion, you say,” he repeated. “You’re telling me that everything he did until now was all because of a compulsion.”

“It’s true.”

“As if I can believe such a lie,” Zed growled. His contemptuous eyes stared at Jhin, who silently stared at the floor and made no move to break free from Shen’s hold. Jhin wasn’t even cowering like the first time Zed tried to kill him. He was still, as if he accepted his capture. “You’ve never even seen the kind of murders he’s done, have you?”

Sona pursed her lips. “No, but I have witnessed the darkness that plagued his heart like a broken harmony. He wanted to change. He never wanted to willingly kill people.” She stood her ground against Zed, even staring him in the eye as she signed. “I can confidently say that he is a different person now.”

“And if he isn’t? What will you do when his so-called “compulsion” comes back and murders people?” He loomed over Sona, who was two heads shorter than him. “What will you do if he tries to point that very gun at you one day? Will you still claim that he’s changed?”

Without hesitation, she took another step closer to Zed. “I will take responsibility.”

“You? You will take responsibility?” he sneered.

At those words, Jhin’s eyes shot up as he looked up at Sona in shock. “Sona, do not take responsibility for my actions. I am not going to let you be in the face of danger for something I have done.”

Shen, who was quietly observing Zed and Sona’s argument, was trying to sense the darkness that Sona had mentioned within Jhin. His father’s voice echoed in his head from a memory he thought he had forgotten. His father used to say the same thing when he made the decision to take Jhin alive and throw him into Tuula Prison. As someone who was less experienced, Shen disagreed with him, having believed that the darkness he sensed in Jhin to be his true self.

But now…

He sensed nothing of the sort. The darkness that tipped the balance within Jhin had disappeared.

Sona sat by Jhin while keeping an eye on Zed’s movements. “I am the one who helped you recover from your compulsion and seen the progress firsthand. It’s a given that I would take responsibility as someone involved.”

“You’re going to get killed if you do,” Jhin said gravely. “I don’t want to see you taken on that kind of burden because of me.” He frowned. “I’ve already caused you enough heartbreak tonight.”

The darkness that Shen had once sensed was replaced by a light. It seemed to shine the brightest in Sona’s presence. Was he truly the man he and Zed caught so many years ago? Or was this perhaps the man that his father saw in Jhin when he stopped Zed from killing him? He was beginning to understand what he thought was his father’s emotionless logic behind the decision.

It wasn’t foolish mercy, like Zed always claimed, but a second chance at redemption.

“Enough!” Zed bellowed. “I’m sick of listening to your excuses. Move aside, Maven, or I will personally strike him through you.”

“Zed,” Jhin called in a quiet, chilling voice. “If you dare raise your blade to Sona, I will not hesitate to take my gun back and pull the trigger. You will leave her out of this.” His blue eyes met Zed’s with a cold rage that forced Zed to withdraw his weapon from Sona’s neck. Jhin maintained his glare for a moment longer before turning back to Sona with a softer expression. “I apologize, Sona. It doesn’t seem like I will be able to join you for the finale.”

“No,” Shen finally spoke up as he released Jhin’s arms and picked up his mask from the floor. “You are going on that stage to dance with Lady Sona.”

“What?!” Zed turned to Shen in disbelief. “You’re just going to let him go like that? After all those years of trying to chase him to put an end to his crimes, you’re going to show mercy ?”

Shen gently pushed Jhin and Sona’s back to usher them outside. “I’m not sure the musicians will be able to stall for much longer. You will have to go soon.”

“You are not going anywhere!” Zed dashed towards Jhin with his blade ready to strike. Jhin grabbed Sona and turned his back to Zed, holding her tightly in his arms. But instead of metal meeting flesh, another blade colliding with Zed’s resounded in their ears. “You!”

“Lady Sona, go. I will try to talk some sense into Zed.” When they left, Shen grabbed Zed and teleported them to another building. “Listen to me. I’m starting to understand what my father was trying to say back at Tuula Prison when he threw Jhin in there.” He took off Zed’s helmet and armor and tossed it at Zed.

Zed met Shen’s eyes with a piercing glare as he caught his helmet. “What?”

“Now that I’m more experienced and in tune with the balance like my father, I sensed something different in Jhin.” Shen brought a hand to his chest. “That man is not the man we once knew anymore. Like Lady Sona said, he has changed. I cannot see the darkness I used to see in him anymore.”

The crowd’s cheering drowned out Zed’s roar of anger and the sound of blade meeting blade. “You are just like your father! I was a fool to think your path was closer to mine than it was to his!” He jumped back from a swift strike from Shen’s blade. “I refuse to work with you any longer now that I know you’d just be in the way. You and your father’s pathetic mercy to that pitiful act is what will be your downfall, Shen. Next time, I’m doing things my own way without you!” Zed disappeared, leaving a faint shadow in his wake.

Panic coursed through Shen’s veins when he realized Zed was gone but was quickly replaced with relief when he felt Zed’s presence blinking farther away from the concert venue and sheathed his sword behind his back. After fitting his head inside his mask, he turned his attention back to the concert and teleported to Akali and Kennen’s side.

While Shen was holding Zed back, the two slipped past them out the door as the musicians were nearing the end of their time. Standing by Sona’s dressing room was Lestara with her hands shaking as they covered her mouth. She overheard them. She overheard everything.

“Oh my goodness!” Lestara ran to Sona with open arms, embracing her tightly. “Thank the gods, I thought… I thought…” Tears began to stream down her cheeks. “I thought you might have been killed, my dear daughter…” Her eyes moved to Jhin, who stood behind Sona with a somber expression. Suspicion flashed in Lestara’s eyes, but it quickly dissolved to worry as she checked Sona for injuries. “Are you safe? You’re not hurt anywhere?”

Sona smiled as she gave her mother a reassuring embrace. “Shen protected us, mother. We’re not hurt.” She glanced at Jhin briefly to point at him. “He protected me too.”

Lestara dried her eyes with a handkerchief once she calmed down. “Sona, dear, I heard everything. He’s a criminal? A murderer?” She saw Jhin in the corner of her eyes, but he simply lowered his head with his eyes half-lidded as he faced her. “Is it true?” she asked him.

“Yes, madam.”

Sona gently held Lestara’s hand with a look that asked her to remember. She wanted her to remember the request she made to her mother before she left to find Jhin. “Will you wait for us after the concert?” she asked again. “I beg of you, mother.”

There was hesitance, but her mother nodded. “I expect both of you to tell me everything once the concert is over. Especially you.” She now faced Jhin with an insistent glare.

Jhin bowed his head to her. “You may ask me whatever you would like, and I shall answer honestly.”

“Then, go on your way. Both of you. The musicians and I have done all we can.” She reached into a bag around her shoulder, taking out a mask. “I believe this is yours.” She handed Jhin his mask for the finale. “I found it in the changing stall when I went to look for you.”

“Thank you, madam. I will be on my way.” He looked at Sona, who smiled and nodded to him to go his side of the stage. “Let us meet at the stage, Lady Sona.” He held her hand up to kiss the back of it and left promptly, leaving Sona and Lestara to continue their conversation.

Lestara turned back to Sona after she watched him turn the corner backstage. “Sona. He never tried to hurt you, did he?” Seeing Sona shake her head with a firm confidence loosened up the tension in her shoulders.

She couldn’t tell her mother how she had first encountered Jhin in the grove just yet. That was for later, when they all gathered to explain their story. She heard the music die down as the audience cheered the musicians’ performances. Sona squeezed her mother’s hand before approaching the steps leading up to the stage.

“Wait. Sona, dear.” Lestara stopped her from leaving and reached into her bag. “I found a mask that might be suitable for your finale. And with your makeup slightly faded, this might help.” She took out a mask that looked exactly like Jhin’s, but instead of a black base, it was white with gold streaks and red accents, black lining the beautiful colors along the mask. “I bought it thinking it was a nice match with his. You can wear it at an angle on your head instead of on your face.”

Sona’s fingers followed the streaks on the mask and nodded in thanks.

“Go. I will watch from the side,” Lestara said as she gestured to her to get ready to show up on the stage.

“Lady Sona! There you are!” The female musician rushed down the steps as soon as she was out of the audience’s sight. She huffed in relief. “We’re so glad you made it in time! The stage manager was yelling at us to get off stage earlier, but he seemed to understand what was happening by the time we got to our second song.”

Sona bowed to the three musicians in gratitude. “You’ve done me a great favor, and I cannot thank you enough for providing me enough time to stop him from doing something he will regret.” She knew they couldn’t interpret her signs, but that was for the best.

“Oh! I think that motion is ‘thank you’, right?” the musician asked, repeating Sona’s sign for ‘thank you’. “I’m just glad we were able to help you, Lady Sona. We did request the audience for another intermission before you went on for your finale.”

“Yeah, and so we can take a break too…” one of the male musicians shook his wrists to alleviate the stiffness.

“But we’re ready to play whenever you are, Lady Sona,” the other musician said. “This is the finale we’ve all been waiting for.” He grinned at his fellow musicians. “I think we did well in keeping the crowd on edge.”

“You have no idea how much the audience is anticipating your finale now. They’re gonna love it!” The female musician yelped in surprise when Sona pulled her in for a thankful embrace. She patted Sona’s back and giggled. “You’re welcome, Lady Sona. Let us know when you’re ready. We’ll be waiting right here.”

Sona carefully pulled the mask on her head, the female musician making sure her hair didn’t get caught between the strings, and placed it near one side of her head. The shadow of the mask hid the red tint of her eyelids from her crying. On the other side, she saw Jhin waiting with his costume all fixed and tidied up. His head seemed to turn slightly to Sona as she caught his eye.

“Break a leg out there,” he signed. “You will do marvelously.”

A smile curled on her lips as she signed back, “You too.” She pressed her fingers to her lips and shifted it towards him. “Thank you,” she started, “for coming back.”

Jhin bowed gracefully as an actor would. “All thanks to you, darling.”

The audience gasped in surprise when the lights shut off again, whispering to each other excitedly for Sona’s finale. A spotlight turned back on to reveal Sona standing near the right center of the stage, curtly bowing as the crowd shouted in joy.

She gestured to her right, a spotlight shining on the three musicians sitting on their knees on a cushion with their instruments at the ready. Then, she gestured to her left, where another spotlight shined on Jhin’s figure, the gold on his mask and costume glimmering under the light. He sat on his knees like the musicians with his hands on his lap, waiting. The crowd applauded with the occasional whistle and whoop.

Taking a deep breath, Sona plucked a few notes in progression.

Jhin moved to the music as if the song controlled his movements. He danced with finesse as Sona played, slowly making his way to her for their dance. He acted like a young man searching for something to fill a void in his life, like there was something missing. He would reach out only to take his hand back and twirl away as if what he reached out for was not what he longed for. Then, he reached out towards Sona as the musicians picked up their instruments.

Sona took his hand with a delicate elegance and stepped towards him. They danced together on the stage, keeping a distance as if their encounter was sudden and uncertain of each other. Her etwahl followed behind her every step as they circled around the stage with the occasional twirl. She returned to her etwahl to resume her part again, but the musicians continued their part in harmony with her.

Something was starting to form in Jhin’s mind as he continued to dance. He kept wanting to reach out to her to cup her face with his hand but always curled them back to himself. The second time they danced together, their bodies were closer, their steps more certain, and with more elaborate movements to their dance. When they pulled apart, he couldn’t help but caress her cheek down and brush his fingers under her chin as he danced around her.

The audience voiced their captivation as they watched them dance like two streams, the currents gentle and joining together to create a river. Much like a dance between two lovers.

Their last time dancing together became much more elaborate and sure like the young man had finally found what he was searching for. Jhin added extra flairs like bring Sona’s fingers to his mask like he wanted to kiss them and touching her cheek gently. Sona would run her fingers through his wig or line her fingers against his mask as if she wanted to see the face hidden behind.

It was nearing the end of the song, and the musicians began to play softer until they were droning whole notes. Jhin and Sona finished with a slight dip, their bodies almost touching each other. They gazed into each other’s eyes, seeing each other’s reflection within. They didn’t even hear the booming ovation from the audience. Only their heartbeats.

“I love you,” he whispered to her.

Actions spoke louder than anything Sona could sign. She leaned in towards him to press her lips to the corner of his mask, leaving a faint print of her lipstick on the black color.

When they returned from their quiet bliss to the roaring crowd, they pulled apart and bowed. Bouquets and individual flowers adorned the stage and still rained onto them as the audience threw them to the stage. Jhin caught a rose that flew at him and handed it to Sona, who took it with a loving smile. They bowed to the audience again and welcomed the musicians to center stage to join them also.

Sona intertwined her fingers with Jhin’s as they collectively bowed to the audience once again. A thought tugged at Jhin’s mind as it finally formed and tried to connect something to Sona’s song. “Sona,” he called. “The song for this finale… What did you have in mind when you made it?”

She smiled knowingly at him as she pointed it at her and then him. “Us,” she answered.

Jhin chuckled as he gripped Sona’s hand tighter and pulled his mask off to the side to kiss her on the cheek. “I think it’s rather fitting.”

“I know.”

It was hours past the end of the concert. Sona was interviewed by several people about her finale and the dancer, a topic she managed to keep vague about his identity while giving more details about the composition and dance process of the finale. Jhin avoided the eyes of the few curious interviewers that had wandered backstage in search of the dancer by dressing in a lighting crew uniform. He preoccupied himself by assisting with the disassembling of the stage while waiting for Sona and Lestara to finish.

Now, Jhin and Sona sat around a table as Lestara took a seat on Sona’s bed. For an extra measure of privacy, Lestara requested the innkeeper to not send anyone to their room for the next few hours. She understood that their conversation wasn’t one to be overheard by anyone else. She waited patiently for one of them to speak up.

“I believe I should be the one to explain,” Jhin started, shifting his position. “But before I do, I would like to introduce my stage name, Khada Jhin, which I’m certain you’ve heard earlier backstage. I was hired by the cabal of the Ionian council to terrorize Noxus after the war. However, the name I gave you in the beginning is my true birth name.”

“Hm, Sona has told me,” Lestara replied shortly, urging him to continue.

“I had stayed in the previous city to enjoy the festival they were holding at the time. I didn’t know of Lady Sona’s concert until the day of.” He rubbed the back of his hand nervously. “I’m sure you’ve heard, but I’ve been plagued by a compulsion for many, many years. I’ve murdered people and turned their corpses into… horrendous displays, only to satisfy it. I never wanted to keep doing it, but I eventually let it take me over.”

Sona watched him in concern.

“Lady Sona was, unfortunately, planned to be a victim. My compulsion knew no bounds.” He curled his hands in and out. “But when I first heard Lady Sona play, I felt the peace I’ve always wanted. For once, I knew silence.” He couldn’t imagine the look on Lestara’s face when he was going to tell her what he did afterwards. “After finding out that her music was the answer, I realized that my desire for peace probably wouldn’t be granted. So I went to the grove to kill her.”

“But I stopped him!” Sona immediately continued. “When he explained to me what my music does, I offered him to stay and listen, if that was what soothed him. I also told him to come visit me in the grove again the next day.”

Lestara’s eyes moved back and forth from Jhin to Sona. “Tell me, what did you see in him?”

Sona paused. “I saw him swallowed by a darkness that clawed at the light he held onto. I saw a man who never wanted this darkness but accepted it helplessly.” Her eyes found Jhin’s hunched over figure. “I wanted to help him.” She then reached under the table to pat his hand in reassurance. “We eventually kept meeting… and we did become friends at some point. But then…”

“I fell in love with Lady Sona,” Jhin finished. “At first, it was only her music that provided me peace. But as we got to know each other more, I began to trust in her. I trusted her to the point of revealing my face and my name—my real name. Lady Sona herself became the answer I was searching for. I love her with all my heart.”

“And you, Sona?” Lestara asked.

“I love him, mother. He understands me, never having forced me to do anything against my will. He soothes my own dissonance with whatever he can do, and I feel secure in his presence. He fills the silence within me.” She cupped her hands together on her lap to calm herself. “He’s changed for the better, mother. I love him so much.”

Her mother was silent. She was considering everything she had heard from Shen and Zed and now from Jhin and Sona. “Do you know what kind of morals that we Demacians uphold in our society?”

Jhin paused to think. “Demacia upholds benevolence and fair justice for all. I’ve heard that people who have committed crimes or viewed others as expendables were punished.”

Lestara smiled. “Yes, and we see malice and selfishness against the morals of our society.” She crossed her leg over her other leg. “From what I’m hearing, you lack those two traits to be considered an enemy of Demacia. Despite your past of crimes, I’ve observed that you are, in fact, kind and polite towards my daughter and other people, as she says. And you treat my daughter with such a dedicated love.”

Sona was staring at Lestara in surprise. “Mother, does that mean…”

“I will accept him for who he is and what he has done in the past on one condition,” Lestara said. “I want him to show me proof that he has control over his compulsion. If he has really changed as you say, then I expect to see evidence of it.” She leaned back with a smile. “Someone from Piltover was talking to me earlier while you were interviewed, Sona. They wanted to sponsor you for a concert there in a few weeks after they saw your finale. They specifically asked that you perform it again there.”

Jhin and Sona exchanged glances.

“You are free to accept or refuse. But if you accept, he will have to come with us.”

Nodding in overwhelming gratitude, Sona embraced her mother tightly. “I want to go. Will you go too?” she asked Jhin.

“How could I say refuse?” Jhin chuckled. “I humbly accept your condition to prove myself before you, Lady Buvelle. However,” he gestured outside, where they would’ve seen the Ionican council building if the curtains weren’t closed, “I must take care of some loose ends so I am not tracked and can ensure both your and Lady Sona’s safety.”

Lestara hummed in thought. “May I ask what methods you will be using to tie up those loose ends?”

Jhin smiled reassuringly. “Without killing, I assure you. I will be entrusting Lady Sona with my weapon for extra measure. It will take me a few days, but I must cut all ties with the council without leaving a trace. I will be making my way to Piltover as soon as it’s all been taken care of.”

“I suppose I can work with that,” Lestara said as she extended a hand out to Jhin. He took her hand and shook it firmly. “We will be leaving within the next three days, depending on when the next ship to Piltover arrives.”

“While it is a shame I will not be able to go with you both, I will make sure to follow within a week.”

“Alright. It’s rather late, so I will be getting ready to sleep.” She looked at Sona, who was patiently waiting for something. “If you’d like to take a stroll, do it now before it gets too late.” Seeing her daughter’s face light up made her chuckle as she sent the two outside the room.

“Mother. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Lestara gave Sona an approving nod. “Anything for your happiness, my dear daughter.”

Jhin and Sona were strolling around the neighborhood under the stars. “I was expecting something much worse,” Jhin confessed. “It’s strange that I was almost anticipating her to report me to the authorities.”

“I’ve said it before, but mother is reasonable to an empathetic extent. She’s not one to focus on someone’s past as long as they’re a changed person today,” Sona signed. “I’m just happy that she accepted you to some degree.” She slid her hand under Jhin’s, holding it tightly.

They spent the next few minutes walking in silence, listening to each other’s breathing and steps on the stone pavement.

“I know I’ve said it many times already, but I apologize for tonight.” Jhin’s grip tightened around Sona’s hand. “I could have sparked a disaster from what would have been my biggest mistake. But what’s worse is that I caused you so much heartbreak because of what I’ve done.” He looked up at the stars and watched them twinkle in the dark.

Sona brought their intertwined fingers to her lips to indicate her forgiveness. She didn’t want to let his hand go. She wanted him to stay with her like this.

“But thank you for stopping me. I feel… so much more different, like the compulsion wouldn’t overtake me like that again.” A smiled flashed across his face before a frown replaced it. “If, if that ever happens again, I will let you know the moment I feel it. While I’m more confident that it won’t come back now that I feel nothing towards Shen and Zed, life can still be unpredictable and uncertain.”

Of course she would do everything in her power to help him heal once again.

Always.

The only indication of her answer was her tightly holding onto Jhin’s arm and leaving a kiss on his bare skin.

A large ship stood out among the others on the docks, the technology used to construct it apparent in the design and function as it floated in the water. It was indeed a ship directly from Piltover that anyone would recognize. Merchants from Piltover and Ionia hurriedly dragged their belongings up and down the walkway of the ship.

Shen stood beside Sona and Jhin, waiting for Lestara to come back with the ship’s schedule. “A concert in Piltover? You would be in for a sight, Lady Sona. I’ve visited a few times, and I feel it’s getting more impressive each day.” He chuckled. “Though, I don’t think they’re a match for the lush nature of Ionia.”

Sona giggled. “Ionia is my homeland. I will always find it more beautiful than anything else.”

Jhin remained silent as the two exchanged words. He was in disguise to prevent any spies of the council from noticing him. Sona left to the docks on her mother’s request.

“Lady Sona tells me that you have something you wish to say to me, actor,” Shen referenced to Jhin. “Something about the council?”

“Yes. You and Zed seem to be under the notion that I escaped from Tuula Prison,” he replied in a quiet voice. “But in reality, the cabal within the council is who freed me and tried to use me as a weapon to instill terror in the hearts of Noxians.” He looked up at Shen, who had narrowed his eyes in shock. “You may already be aware of the corruption within the council. But you won’t get anywhere if you don’t start with the cabal. They are the ones controlling the darkness within Ionia, or in your words, creating the imbalance between the people here.”

The ninja was silent. “Why are you telling me this?”

The corner of Jhin’s lips tugged into a smile. “As someone who will cut ties with the council, I obviously cannot do it. And I vowed to her that I would never kill anyone ever again.”

“Is that why you won’t be following them today?”

“I must make sure the council does not track me once they realize I have become… inactive in their line of work.”

“You truly are not the man I once knew you to be, actor,” Shen said. “You’ve changed. I was able to fully confirm it from the way you danced with Lady Sona last night.”

Jhin felt a chuckle in his throat. “This is who I’ve always wanted to be.” He gazed at Sona’s figure, her skirt flowing beautifully in the wind. “I just never had the opportunity until she came. She is my love, my muse.”

Shen watched him with a curious eye. It was difficult to believe that the man he’s been chasing for so many years was now standing beside him with a peaceful outlook. That the man he’s been chasing for so many years now wanted nothing more than a tranquil life with the woman he loved.

“Unbelievable, I know,” Jhin said as if he heard Shen’s thoughts.

“But it is the truth, and I am not one to turn away from it.” Shen then stepped back. “I must go. If what you say about the council is true, I must act now. The Kinkou Order will be the ones to take on this imbalance and set it straight.” He began to disappear in purple light. “Please relay my goodbye to them for me.”

Sona soon returned after speaking to her mother. She looked around for Shen. “Did he leave already?”

“He had some matters to take care of. But he did ask me to pass on his farewells to you and your mother.” He noticed Lestara speaking to the ship’s captain with their bags by her feet. “I’m assuming the ship will depart soon.”

“It will be leaving in half an hour, actually. But the captain wants us to board in the next fifteen minutes.” Sona smiled under the shadow of her sunhat. “I wanted to talk to you one more time before we left.”

Jhin smiled back in mild amusement. “About what?”

“Things.” Sona shrugged and strummed a giggle at her vague answer. “Did you tell Shen what you needed to?”

“I have. I think you were right in telling him about it.” A calm silence settled between them as they looked out over the sea. The breeze was nice and cool against their skin as it blew past. For once, Jhin was able to hear the world properly. The sounds of the ocean waves washing up on the sand, the fisherman scrambling to haul in their catch, the bells ringing to indicate the ship’s departure… It was such a pleasant experience.

Sona let out a soft sigh. She never thought her initial desire to practice her magic in the grove would eventually lead to this. She tucked a stray lock of her aqua hair behind her ear as her other hand found solace in Jhin’s. They kept quiet as they watched flocks of seagulls fly past the sails of ships over the glittering ocean waves.

A small laughter then broke out from Jhin’s lips. “Didn’t you say you wanted to talk earlier?”

Sona shrugged again and held onto his hand tighter. She didn’t feel a need to talk when he was by her side to enjoy the view together. She turned to Jhin, whose eyes glittered from the sunlight reflecting on the water. She leaned in closer and kissed him on the cheek.

“A surprise attack, I see.” Jhin raised a brow at her teasingly.

Her eyes seemed to smile with so much bliss as she leaned in again to place another kiss on his lips this time. He kissed her back gently and cupped her face. Their arms found each other in an embrace, laughing softly against each other’s skin.

“Who would have thought it’d end like this?” he whispered happily into her shoulder.

[dezembergirl]

Norwegian Gossip Girl

 Part four of my series (part one, part two and part three) as alway inspired by @nonibanoni

Fandom: Skam

Pairing: Noorhelm

Characters: Noora, Eva and William

Type: one-shot/series

Summary: Where Eva finds Noora’s life more interesting than Gossip girl; or Noora and Eva enjoy a lazy Saturday afternoon.

originally posted to ao3

Thank you for all the incredibly sweet comments, I can’t explain how much they mean to me! <3

This chapter is a bit different in the way it’s set up but the next one will be more similar to the first three again. Hope you like it! :)

Smudged mascara and disheveled hair greeted Noora when she slid through the bedroom window and slumped down next to Eva.

«Rough night?» Noora nudged her friend.

«Just very short.» Eva yawned and pulled her messy hair into an even messier ponytail. «You’re way to happy for 15:00 on a Saturday?»

«Not touching alcohol and going to sleep at a reasonable hour does that for you.» Noora slipped out of her jacked and shoes to curl up next to Eva on the sofa.

«Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?» she would never be convinced, abstinence was a good choice.

Noora’s eyebrows arch upwards. «Plenty of other ways to have fun.»

That earned her an eye roll and shrugged shoulders. Eva reached for her laptop to put on a Netflix show for background ambience.

«Speaking of fun, where did you end up yesterday? We missed you at party, Vilde got all upset over it.» Eva focused her slightly unsteady but nevertheless vigilant eyes on her.

She didn’t know Noora had done anything other than go straight home last night; she couldn’t, could she? That was exactly why Noora hated lying, it made her paranoid. There was no reason to suspect Eva knowing anything but her going on one date with William three weeks ago. Nothing to worry about and strictly speaking, it wasn’t exactly lying just conveniently leaving out certain details.

«Nothing, I went home early.» Conveniently leaving out certain details still felt wrong.

«Okay» Eva popped a crisp in her mouth.

«The music was a touch much for me.» Noora really did have a dislike for eardrum bursting level of russ music.

Eva trailed off into her phone and Noora exhaled, relaxing back against the couch. «You seemed pretty out of it before I left.»

«Mhm» another crisp.

«Is everything okay, with Jonas and you know …»

«It’s fine, really.» Eva had never been the best at hiding her feelings but Noora didn’t want to dig any deeper, sprinkling salt on an obviously sore subject.

«You slept in your own bed though, right?» imagining her properly drunk friend passing out in some random boy’s bed made her cringe.

«Chris brought me home, don’t worry.»

«Chris has a car?» Noora furrowed her brows.

«Oh no, Penetrator Chris.» Noora definitely caught her friend blush this time. «He called a cab. Apparently William took off on his own so I thought I’d keep him company.» Eva shrugged as if none of it was a big deal.

«Penetrator Chris?» Noora’s eyebrows almost disappeared in her hairline, hopefully masking her own flushed cheeks at the mention of William’s name.

«He’s sweet.» Eva sighed.
 «He’s a fuckboy.»

«I’m not looking for a relationship. Also you went on a date with William, you have no right to judge.» Eva threw her an amused smirk and Noora almost gasped at her retort. «I’m well aware that he’ll have a new girl next week, but» she shrugged «he’s fun.»

Gossip girl wasn’t Noora’s preferred choice of Netflix background drama but she had to admit it was fun to watch every once in a while (at least as long as one ignored all its moral shortcomings), especially when the drama in her own life almost rivaled that of an American teen show.

«How is that going actually, is William still texting you? Did you talk to him since the date?»

That definitely took Noora by surprise. Eva was apparently more sober than she had previously given her credit for. Squinting her eyes, she tried to judge just how much Eva had noticed and more importantly was still remembering from last night; her face-off with William hadn’t exactly been private, at least the first part hadn’t.

«No» Noora said a beat too slow and Eva sized up her answer for a second before turning her attention back to Blair hurling insults across her laptop screen.

They both fell silent, Eva lost in Gossip Girl and Noora in her own memories.

If it hadn’t been obvious last night, it was now. Her need to keep things secret was bound to clash with the inexplicable desire to indulge deeper into whatever it was that tied her heart to William. Destiny was to be damned.

«The party was epic though. You can say whatever you want but the Penetrators know how to throw a mean party.» Eva sighed and Noora saw her scrolling though last night’s Instagram feed.

«Mhm» she didn’t care for the parties and no matter how redeemable Eva made them sound, Noora’s stance on the whole topic had been set from the beginning. They were a bunch of assholes, vying for however many girls they could add to their ‘fucked-lists’, textbook fuckboys. No exceptions were made (not one, maybe one).

She would have explained all that to Eva, if it hadn’t been for the buzzing phone claiming her attention.

Before Eva had a chance to see the name flashing across the screen, Noora had snatched her phone and felt instantly headier when she unlocked four new Messages from William.

William: hey

William: miss you

William: sorry, I don’t wanna bother you

William: I just really miss you

She felt the annoyingly obvious flutter in her stomach set into motion and bit her lip to keep the grin from spreading.

Noora had promised herself, the moment William’s car door had flung closed behind her a few hours earlier, to fight the impulse to text him today, or tomorrow. Noora had also gotten into an annoying habit of ignoring her own better judgement and all impulse control when it came to William.

Noora: it’s been what, five hours?

«Who’s texting you?» Eva dragged her eyes away from the screen, just long enough to study Noora.

«Just Eskild, he is basically illiterate when it comes to cleaning.»

«You never look this happy talking to Eskild.» Eva arched her eyebrows and her back. «Or about cleaning.»

Another text delayed Noora’s reply.

William: What can I say, the things you do to me Noora Amalie Sætre.

«He can be entertaining.» she managed to spit out, but the spreading smirk on Eva’s lips caught her lies.

«It’s him, isn’t it?» Eva almost yelped, forgetting all about the heated argument Blair and Chuck were carrying out on screen. «My god Noora, you’re still texting with him. I don’t know whether to be disappointed or amazed.»

The sheer number of exited giggles that tumbled from her friends lips, made Noora freeze for a second.

William: How about Monday?

His texts and Eva’s excitement, made it more than challenging to keep Eva from discovering more than she already had. No one could know that she had spent the night in William’s bed, and not for the first time.

«Just don’t tell Vilde, okay. It would break her heart.» typing an answer was the perfect excuse to avoid Eva’s questioning looks.

Noora: We have school on Monday

«I wont.» Eva promised. «If you tell me what he’s texting you about.»

Noora rolled her eyes; another text.

William: after school then

«Nothing new really. He wants to go on another date and keeps pressuring me and yeah … really nothing new.»

«But you’d never go on another date, because you don’t like him? Like at all, right?»

Noora sensed that they had gone over this once before, and Eva seemed just as skeptical to her vehemently shaken head as she had the last time.

William: I’ll take you to my favorite café

William: There’s this amazing chocolate place up in Grünerløkka, you’ll love it

Noora: I’m not going on a date with you

«He’s an asshole that uses girls for the gratification he never got as a child and thinks about no one but himself.» she had repeated it so many times, by now it sounded like an automatic recording of her three week younger self; the self that hadn’t kissed William or tasted his hot cocoa. «He’s very persistent though, I’ll give him that.»

His preposition did sounded more tempting than it should. But going on a date, in public, someone was bound to see them. In the privacy of his apartment she had been able to relax and forget about all the constant reminders why giving into his touches and kisses was a destructive choice. In a café she couldn’t simply push her worries aside and ignore her lies being found out at any moment.

«Right» Eva repeated and the suspecting smile on her lips made Noora want to smother her with one of the pillows.

William: no date, just cocoa

William: It’s almost as good as mine

Noora could see his smirk through the screen.

“You really can’t tell Vilde about this.» Eva shook her head, still too wound up in her friend’s choice of texting partner to focus on the Upper East Side drama spilling on the screen. «You are really full of surprises, Noora.»

That Noora couldn’t object to. Though surprise might not be the right word, at least not when other people discovered what she was hiding.

William: and you can pay for your own drink, if that makes you happier

Needless to say, Noora agreed to hot chocolate on Monday.

It was delicious, almost as good as William’s.

If you ever have any requests or suggestions, my ask/inbox is always open :)

[thekrazykeke]

Title: and it hurts like hell

Fandom(s): Deadpool, MCU

Relationship(s): Wade Wilson x reader. Bucky Barnes x reader. Bucky Barnes x Wade Wilson x reader

Series (War of Hearts): Sequel to Ass Backwards. 

Summary: Sometimes what the world needs isn’t another hero, but a monster.

Warning(s): Angst, cameos by other MCU superheros (and villains), fourth wall breaking, inter-species relationship, violence, pre-polyamorous relationship, eventual polyamorous relationship

Tagging: @keya168

~

Something wet splashes against your cheek. 

Pupils fluttering behind closed eyelids, you struggle to return to the waking world, feeling uncharacteristically resistant to that idea. After a few minutes, you manage to do so, the task proving to be a herculean feat. The sight that greets you is not the dark and perpetually chilly cell that you’d been forced into, nor your grandmother’s living room.  

It’s a building, or a warehouse. Graffiti lines the walls, trash is scattered along the floor, a ratty sofa is lodged awkwardly in a corner and there’s a few sleeping bags, even a tent, with an industrialized, rusting metal trash can smack dab in the middle of the room. 

“Go get Jamie, you dunderhead, and stop gawking!” 

“Why do I have to be the one that gets ‘im? You go.”

‘Please, don’t be so loud.’ Eyes fluttering half closed again, you attempt to sit up, ignoring the unfamiliar voices whisper-shouting overhead, for now. 

“Because between us, you’re the one with the longer legs, genius. It only makes sense.”

A hush suddenly fell over the room, although you strained your ears, you couldn’t hear any footfalls, even as the individual came closer. “Miss, are you well? Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Your eyes opened once again and you just barely manage to focus on the person. He’s tall, Caucasian, brunette, scruffy looking with a beard and had eyes that are either pale blue or grey. 

“...What ‘m I doing here? Where am I?”

Again, the brunette spoke, “Phillip found you collapsed about a block from here.” He nodded to the left and you glanced in the direction he’d signaled, seeing an dark brown skinned male in his early forties, glasses askew and the left lens cracked. “Brought you back here, made sure you were comfortable.”

Phillip puffed up with pride, though he tried to contain his reaction. “Couldn’t just leave you out there. Nasty folk runnin’ ‘round these days. Had to chase off some hooligans up to no good.”

“My head’s a little fuzzy right now, but thank you.”

“Hmph! Fuzzy, huh?” 

“And that’s Lorenzo. Ignore everything he says. I do.” Phillips cautioned, cutting his eyes at the other Caucasian male, red haired, balding, with green eyes narrowed in suspicion and distrust. 

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t have brought her back here. She was bleeding something fierce--” 

You couldn’t help interrupting, “I was bleeding, for real?” Briefly patting yourself down, checking for wounds and expecting pain. 

“And she can’t even remember that she was bleeding, or why.” Lorenzo continued on, tone pointed and biting. “We don’t even know her, we’ve never seen her walk these streets, so--”

This time ‘Jamie’ interrupted. “We should give her a chance.” Lorenzo shot him a withering glance. “Like the two of you took a chance on me.”

Phillip was quick to throw his two cents in. “Thank you!” He turned to look at you. “Do you remember your name, kid? Or where you’re from, how you got like this?”

 “My name’s Y/N.” You say confidently. “I was on my way to see my boyfriend...” A dull throbbing began to pound insistently at your temples. “It was Tuesday. I went to see him then. Something happened, I think I got jumped? They put something over my mouth and nose, it made me tired.” 

“...Holy shit...” Lorenzo muttered. 

You glance at Jamie and Phillip, both who traded loaded looks. “What is it?”

“It’s Sunday.” Jamie stated, tone matter of fact, features carefully neutral. 

“Holy shit.” You breathed, fighting the urge to give into hysterical laughter. 

Although you were reluctant to go to the hospital, Phillip was insistent that you had to choose to do something. There’s a very real possibility that the people who took you over a week ago could have hurt you. You understood and even appreciated his efforts, but hemmed and hawwed over it until Lorenzo eventually distracted him by making a ‘joke’, while Jamie gave you some loose change. 

He was strangely intuitive, seeming to get that you needed to talk to your mother, hear her voice. You’d been away from her a week and while you’re mostly independent, you hadn’t gone a day without texting or calling her since your teenage years. 

‘Get it together. A shitty day doesn’t give you the excuse to go all white girl Becky, woe is me, the world is ending.’ Fidgeting, you twirled the phone cord around your fingertip, listening to phone ring and ring. 

And ring.

Then...

{Hello?}

Unbidden, tears welled up at the corners of your eyes. A lump was stuck in your throat and you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. 

{Hello? Hello?}

“M-Mama, I--”

A pale hand reached out and ended the call. You were about to turn around and chew the person out but it was Jamie. “What the fuck?” You hissed. He crowded you in that tiny booth and you felt uncomfortable. “Seriously, you gotta back the fuck up.”

Ignoring your warning, he came even closer, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. “See that guy across the street? No, don’t look!” You swallowed, heart in your throat. “He’s been watching you for the past fifteen minutes. And there’s a van, black, tinted windows, it’s been circling that cafe for more than twenty minutes.”

“It could be a coincidence.” Even as you gave life to that flimsy excuse, behind your eyelids, you caught a flash of a memory, recalling a black van cutting you off in both directions as you tried to run. 

“You need to come with me.”

“Sorry, my mama taught me never to follow strange men to places beyond yonder.” You sassed. 

Jamie looked equally parts amused, part exasperated and just as he nodded, about to back up, suddenly that van he mentioned drove by once again, the door opening to reveal men, soldiers, and one of the crew is manning a machine gun, aimed directly at the two of you. 

Eyes widening, you froze like a deer in headlights. Jamie shoved you to the ground, his body shielding your own as the bullets ricocheted and sprinkled glass down around you both. 

B-Bump! B-Bump!

It feels like cotton is in your ears or your head’s underwater. You can’t hear anything, you barely understand anything, but when Jamie grabs your arm, you don’t hesitate to grasp the appendage tightly, holding onto the appendage for dear life in a world that had so suddenly gone crazy. 

“--ove. Move, move! Surround them, surround them, don’t let them escape!”

You came back to the sound of a woman screaming, someone’s baby is screaming, and while a part of you is concerned, self-preservation triumphs and survival is your main priority. 

Confidently, Jamie stands right in front of you as the military personnel advance on the two of you, guns at the ready, fingers on the trigger. 

Fuck, this a shitty Sunday.

The nearest soldier, the spokesperson of the group, said tersely, “We’re going to give the two of you one chance to get down on the ground with your hands behind your head. If you move, we will shoot you.”

“Aren’t they going to shoot anyway?” Your lips barely move as you mutter the words underneath your breath.

Somehow he heard you. “We even twitch and they light us up like the fourth of July.” 

“So, we’re going through them, right?”

Jamie didn’t respond, merely took off his glove on his right hand, revealing a metal hand? No, a metal arm with a red star at the top of his shoulder. He shifted his stance and one of the twitchy military brats fired, his shot going wild, missing his face by a wide margin, and nearly clipping you in the ear.

All it took was a breath and then he was in motion, charging straight at the group while you ran away from the fighting. Or tried to, you were cut off by another black van blocking the passage way and taking up space on the sidewalk.

The feeling of deja vu became even stronger, as did the throbbing in your temples. 

Blinking, you tried to shake off the sensation and hopped over the hood of the car, only when you hit the ground, the earth shattered a little beneath your feet, the ricochet reverberating up to your teeth. The van’s door was about to open and you reached down, grabbing the nearest object, and shove it through the door’s handle; the object you’d grabbed turned out to be a STOP sign. 

‘Hoooooly shit.’ 

You heard someone take the safety off of their gun and you turn your head. It was a female soldier, eyes cold as ice, and she pulled the trigger. 

But nothing happened. 

She did it again and again as you stood up, feeling rage and irritation flow through you. Throwing the gun at your face, she attempted to lash out at you with her foot, perhaps wanting to engage in hand-to-hand combat, and you grabbed the appendage, lifting her right off the ground before slamming her down into the unforgiving concrete once, twice, before grabbing her other foot, spinning around in a half circle and chucked her away, she flew through the air and crashed into a speeding car. 

She did not get up again.

Hearing the roar of an engine, you turn and catch sight of Jamie on a motorcycle. ”Feel like coming with me now?” Questions were burning at the back of your tongue, ready to be put into coherent sentences, but you found you nodded anyway and got on the bike behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

Questions could wait.

[knightofbalance-13]

Your Handy Guide to Debunking RWDE Bullshit

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/163107301598/your-handy-dandy-guide-to-the-rwde-tag

Ladies and Gentlemen, are people who call themselves critics acting more like abusive lovers? Is someone completely lying about a character and acting like that is how they are in canon? Is someone just outright attacking the creators?

Well, this guide will show you how to counter these arguments with ease.

Hello, my name is Dudeblade. I’ve been around this tag for a while, and I do feel that there are some things that need to be said for any person to be able to get into the tag overall. Consider this a guide of sorts, to help you navigate the (in)famous rwde tag, as I show you the wonders that aggressive criticism can bring.

we need to get this out of the way as soon as possible: “Aggressive criticism” and “being a general asshole are  not the same.” Aggressive criticism is when you give criticism in a harsh tone (I.E. “Why is Nora’s frame moving separate from her body? This is easy mistake to fix!”) and being a general asshole is just benig insulting (I.E. “Why si Nora’s frame moving separate from her body, you incompetent fuck? This is why people hate you and why in the hell this shit is popular is beyond me. And don’t try defending it whiteknights.”)

Notice how one is just exasperated and the other is being malicious and insulting? that’s the difference between Aggressive criticism and hate. And RWDE is mostly the second masquerading as the first. Still, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt (I have been bitten by this personally) and either wait to see what they say or look into their blog.

Just a quick reminder that these rules not only apply to rwde, but to every day interactions overall: [1] [2].

... Listen, the things you learn in here CAN be used in day to day interactions...if you are the debating type or the critical type. And even then, RWDE postsers are not normal people: they are mostly comprised of selfish, social justice warrior, psychoctic and narassistic people and I urge you not even treat all critics a half of the way you do RWDE: They deserve better.

Now before you jump into the rwde tag, it’s important to know a few things about the tag to begin with, like how this one post sums up pretty much 98% of the tag.

Incorrect: the link provided implies most RWDE posts are about being criticial and helping the show. That is the excuse. What is actually going on is that hate what RWBY is and want things done their way, shown in that they are incapable of putting aside their personal biases against certain people (Miles, jaune or in Dudeblade’s case, Taiyang) ad a c t like personal opinion and criticism are one and in the same with them.  This si mostly used to brush off criticism of how they express hate more than love for the show.

The tag isn’t a place for hatred, no matter what people might say, or how they act (HA! Take that, me!). The rwde tag is here so that people who don’t want to see criticism/complaints about the show can avoid it. However, since you’re here, it probably means that you are either A: Trying to understand the tag better. 2: Trying to figure out whether or not you should post something in the rwde tag. or third: You’re a person who is looking to start something and/or trying to cherry-pick things so that you can demonize the entire tag. if you are part of the third group, then eff off.

And yet certain people in the rwde tag (like Cpt-10) insist that RWDE started as a hate and venting tag for the show and to this day contains direct attacks against the show and the writers to the point of harassment. This is a core problem with RWDE posters as well: They believe everything negative about the show is “criticism” and everything positive is “ass-kissing”. They will completely ignore and even attack people who tell them to tone it down (and no, I don’t count: I just tell them to shut up in general.)

The three categories actually come closer to the following: New to the Tag, trying to see what the tag actually is and critics of the tag. And I do mean criticis, as nice and passive as you can be towards to people in the rwde tag, they will ignore it and continue doing what they were doing even if most of the fandom and indeed most people with the average decent morality will tell them what they are doing wrong. And the Fuck Off part is pretty accurate as to why they react to criticism.

The entire point of the tag is to be able to post complaints and harsh criticisms of the show in such a way that others don’t have to see it. They can blacklist it if they so choose

And yet there are posts calling the CRWBY homophobes and sexists which don’t even make sense considering half of them are females and they have prominent and vocal LGBT people in their team. This or they will simply call everything they do bad and never endingingly insult and attack the show, calling it shit. (Look at SOkumotonaka’s posts about RWBY being in the Blazblue crossover: instead of being happy for the fandom or bring up the actual criticism as to why Guilty Gear was not featured but RWBY was: he isnteads promotes hate against RWBY.)

My advice for countering this is sarcasm: lots of it. not only will your posts be more interesting to read but you can also bring more subtly to your arguments as well make sure your jabs are not completely malicious.

Secondly, it’s a good idea to figure out exactly what it is about the show that you want to criticize. There’s plenty of things to criticize the show about, so I’ll cover the most popular subjects.

Yes but I want you to take a look at the subjects: LGBT representation, Racism and character representation. Out of these three starting points, only one is actual problem in the production of the show at face value. the other two are, you guessed it, social justice topics. This is because RWDE posters are mostly Social Justice Radicals (I refuse to use the term SJW: There is nothing warrior like these people) who specialize in attacking people over RWBY.  RWBY began with four female characters and Monty said that there will be an LGBT character: this drew in the radicals of the group. And now, a major part of RWDE is attempting to bully people into agreeing with them and getting what they want. And I will guide you in how to counter them all.

1. LGBT Representation. It’s no secret that the LGBT+ Fanbase is getting tired of waiting for the reveal of the queer character that was promised so long ago. The only assurances are that they want it to “Be natural” and that “They don’t want it to feel forced.” However, at some point, “Wanting it to feel natural” starts to sound like “We don’t consider it to be natural, so we have to have all this buildup to it.” And “Don’t want it to feel forced” falls apart when one remembers that Pyrrha wanted to jump on jaune’s dick within moments of meeting him, Renora not feeling forced at all, and people claiming that Blake and Sun are practically a couple. But those apparently weren’t forced at all. And the fact that it was MONTY OUM (god rest his soul) who said that there would be LGBT+ representation, it doesn’t give people hope that the LGBT+ Representation is coming anytime soon. For the record, this isn’t even counting all the discourse that arose from BMBLB being released. That’s a different can-o-worms right there.

Counter: Bring up LGBT people in the fandom who are calling aginst this or have no opinion on the matter. Since this argument is based on the fallacy that the RWDE posters speak for everyone in the LGBT group: Bring up people of the same community who have a different opinion. @weissrose @rwby-analysis and @hawkeyedflame are all examples of people who do not agree with RWDE postser’s stances on this (DOn’t actually try bring them into the discussion directly: They won’t like it. Instead, ask @mageknight14 @tumblezwei or @ula-star for their statements on the subject if you have no other options. I would think you should ask your friends and use them as examples with their permission. This doesn’t there aren’t people who have this opinion, just that they don’t speak for everyone.

Another counter would be to bring the people in the tag’s history in being called “homophobes” despite the people being LGBT themselves. This will show that they only care about people who stand by them and don’t actually care about the subject.

2. Character representation. Due to the… unsettling amount of lines that some characters have had over others, people are starting to think that a certain character is hogging the attention to themselves. In addition, there are sometimes characters that are given a sympathetic light when they have yet to earn any sympathy, characters that were put in just to give the audience a new person to hate, and characters that acted SO abrupt, that they felt like they were OOC despite it being their first time onscreen.

Counter: to the line argument, state “what is the content of the lines?” See, while a character may speak, they don’t necessarily benefit from talking nr are they the focus of what is being said. For example in Volume 4 Episode 10, Jaune had a long speech that consists of most of his lines in the Volume. However, he doesn’t benefit at all from the talk. In fact, he actively devalues himself to the real topic: Ruby. Ruby is the one who benefits and develops from the lines, not Jaune. For further examples: Taiyang, Ghira, Kali and Klien’s are pretty much all made to develop their children. Because a character speaks doesn’t mean they benefit from it.

A second counter would be to take into account character’s personalities: Ruby herself doesn’t talk all that much and her time is spent mostly reacting to the world or in combat thus she wouldn’t have as many lines as more vocal characters. But she still has the lions share of screentime in her plotline. These at logical fallacies to make their side look better but they are easy to deconstruct.

The counter to the characters being OOC is to point out bias on their part through either previous posts or their language, as well as liking to certain moments that contradict them through atmosphere, actions or tone. Again, RWDE will claim things that are simply not true and teh best way to deal with them is links,

3. Racism problems. Let’s be honest here, outside of select few, very few faunus have positive depictions. Neon is basically Nyan Cat (One of the oldest, and most annoying memes since Rick-Rolling), Any White Fang member is an automatic villain, Tyrian is a psycho, and to a degree, Sun counts too (He’s a stowaway, and steals ‘cause it’s fun). Not to mention the fact that it makes no sense. In the real world, people would be more likely to date a faunus rather than try to kill them. Now, if it had been jealousy over their enhanced senses, that would have made sense. But the WoR stated that when man first encountered the Faunus, they were afraid.

To counter this: point out how the majority of the Fanaus in the show seen are in fact members or the White Fang which is a terrorist organization and thus because one of the major struggles in the show is trying to get the White Fang back to peaceful protest and not Fanaus as a whole, there would be more negative representation.

Then point out Fanaus characters OUTSIDE of the White Fang and share their reactions: Especially Sun as is both a vocal character and one that has no relation to the White Fang so he would act as the voice of Fanaus outside of the White Fang: Point out his very vocal disdain for the group and show that most would not think of the WHite Fang as their representatives.

As for the accusations for the characters: Point out how Yang isn’t going around stealing pourage or Pyrrha wasn’t pouty and selfish. This shows that the characters are not the same as their inspirations and thus the argument against Neon is invalid. Point out Sun’s heroic acts such as helping Blake defend against the White Fang, attacking the Paladin despite the risk to his life, helping defeat the machines attacking Beacon, saving Blake from death against the Grimm Sea Dragon, how he risked his life to stop Illia. This shows that Sun is not that simple. For Tyrian, point out his loyalty and devoution to Salem as opposed to Cinder, Watts and Hazel, thus making him the best person out of the four. In essence: Show the that just because they have flaws and are Fanaus, they are not automatically bad. And if necessary, point out how Blake is unambiguously good alongside her father and mother.

You can even use teh arguments used for the LGBT community argument for anything concerning race too here. However, don’t use tehse arguments in reverse: The LGBT arguments doesn’t have these problems.

“MKG” Stands for Miles, Kerry, Grey - The writers of the show. The ones that everyone believes is tearing the fndm down right now. Given that they’ve made the cliche, “We’re not homophobic, but…” excuses so many times, and literally have a “fag” joke in Camp Camp, it shows just how ‘great’ their representation and respect is. “M&K” Is also a used term for them, but it excludes Grey

*Sigh* To counter ths is easy: Point out how they’ve never actually said anything to this extent and then bring up original definition of Faggot which is a bundle of sticks and point out how the show was doing a play on words. Then ring up South Park’s “The F-Word” as the final nail as these kinds of people are mocked in that episode.

“bmblbgate” is a term that is used to label the whole “bmblb controversy.” - it’s best not to go into “full-rant” mode for this, as others have already done it before.

Counter: Bring up the fallacy of the “-gate” title meant to portray a horrible event and subconsciously make the reader turn against RT when in all actuality, the only controversy was the RWDE tag attacking Arryn and any LGBT members that defended them. And no, you cannot callit “Bmblbgate” either. Or you can bring up “Assistgate” where someone falsely accused RT or stealing assests from other games before they were promptly shut down or “Lettergate” pertaining to Shane’s Letter which RWDE argued was truth despite self admitted mental illness, unhealthy hero worship of monty and attempting to blame RT for his failed marriage because he spent more time with Monty and Sheena then his own wife.

“Disgusting Males” is a term by another “rwde-er.” It’s used to describe a male character that is generally hated by the fans. This doesn’t actually exist, it’s really just Jaune. - Speaking of…

Counter: bring up the hate that Qrow, Taiyang, Sun, Neptune and even Ren gets and show that the RWDE Poster’s bias against male characters, especially if said character does something that a female character has gotten away with.

More terminology includes “Queerbaiting” in which you counter by pointing out since the show is not over, the LGBT character can still happen and RT never said when the character shows up. Also: Point out that teasing a ship between two same sex characters is not queerbaiting: it’s ship tease and to call it bad for just being gay is not equality. “R/WBY” which is the RWDE poster’s way of avoiding the main tag. And I can’t remember much more so I’ll move on.

1. No ship hate. You can bemoan how some people are unfairly treating certain ships, are basically hating on it, or are trying to start a shipping war -but NO ship bashing. It takes $0.00 to just scroll past your NOTP. So spend it wisely.

Counter: point out how the RWDE tag is about compliants about the show and complaining about ships is still compliants regarding the show. Also, point out this rule if “queerbaiting” comes up.

2. 99% of all opinions are valid in the rwde tag. This is a tag about complaints and criticisms. This isn’t a place to bash on characters, with the exception of Jaune “Creator’s Pet” Arc. Give Jaune mass praise at your own peril when posting in the rwde tag. That 1%? - That any opinion that praises jaune in any way, and it won’t be met with defense.

Counter: point out how Jaune is actually disregarded in the show, like getting hit in the balls in his first fights scene or how he had to be assisted in pinning the Nucklevee’s arm in Volume 4 as proof. Also point out the logical fallacy of defending a certain character is not okay but anyone else is contradictory and how that argument can be applied to any character.

4. Respect others’ opinions. You don’t have to agree with it, and you can even block the person if they bug you so you so much… Okay, scratch that rule, the new rule is “At least try to respect others’ opinions.” This is the internet. People can be a jerkass to people and not have to face major consequences. You can basically be anybody on the internet. In a memic term:

Counetr: point out that when someone in the rwde tag professes the opinion that "queerbaiting” hasn't happened yet, they are called homophobes. Point out how anyone who calls the White fang terrorists is racist. Point out how anyone who defends the show in the tag is called a whiteknight. Aks them about those opinions and expose the hypocrisy.

Okay, the next is a faq about the tag which mostly consists of slander against...well, guess who? As I have refuted these points so many times, let me inform you about the people in the RWDE tag:

Sokumonotaka: Fanboy of Fatmanfalling (the orginal RWDE member) and probably the oldest member of the tag. Somewhat dangerous since he is somewhat smart but eh relies almost solely attempting to aggravate his opponents and logical fallacies. Stay calm and read up on logical fallacies and you’ll be fine. Although chances are Soku will block you in order to make fun of you without yu being able to defend yourself.

RWBYcriticism: Not very active but sadly one of teh few people in the tag I’d call close to a decent human being. I’d just ignore them.

SSSN-Neptune-vallias: Racist and sexist person who has a tendency to passive aggressively post about the tag. Bring up his post about how he said it was okay to harass creators for not brining in representation (http://sssn-neptune-vasilias.tumblr.com/post/160493347203/if-youre-making-a-show-at-all-in-the-modern-age)

Invested-In-Your-Future: Sexist who thinks all guys in RWBY are bad. Just bring up Jaune or Sun and she’ll defeat herself.

rwbycrit: Not worth your time.

Dudeblade: Sexist who is incapable of seeing himself as wrong. Just argue and eventually his emotions will take over and he’ll prove your point for you.

That’s basically it.

Now, you can basically defeat anyone in the rwde tag in a debate by simply being smart, using the internet to your advantage to use sources and links to contradict and shut the down. All you need to do is be versed in logical fallacies and RWBY and you’ll do just fine. Hope this helps you fight back against them. Good luck!