#i want to be braver again
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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me
since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.
(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)
harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.
harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.
louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around
the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!
louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.
the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”
louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'
harry flirting with stanley tucci
louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!
all along
harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc
rainbow flare during the btm mv
harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes
28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!
kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing
harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?
harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)
louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling
harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."
louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour
harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket
louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel
harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)
louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival
harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."
continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here
harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel
louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar
harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)
harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23
the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals
harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally
as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.
louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it
oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too
harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped
that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????
harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up
louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks
harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex
harry dressed in skirts for gucci
"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"
"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"
satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt
louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????
harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits
harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol
and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.
#queer signalling#my posts#long post#anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait#but these were my personal highlights#this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this#but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot#and forget a lot#and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small#but... then i make big things into something small.#which i hate#going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it#ive complained about this many a time i know#anygays#for whoever wants to come scream with me <3#also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post#since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already#also that gif is how i feel rn.#how i often feel tbh#i want to be braver again
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another BattleTech vs The Expanse poll (and this time the other one isn't even over! go vote here if you haven't), this time:
#matchup because they’re both damned Protagonists with people who they’re ostensibly supposed to be paying in some sort of currency#and they regularly get themselves and those people into situations where most would ask#'hey are we getting paid this week? also what was the hazard pay clause in our contract again?'#so like based on vibes or lore knowledge who's more likely to have an answer that doesn't make you regret your life choices i guess#the expanse#battletech#james holden#grayson death carlyle#gray death legion#honestly i'd rec GDL as a good intro to BT for expanse fans. or in general. it WAS the first series they did.#like there's a fair bit of political angling and if billy keith had been braver there could've absolutely been some leftist infighting#and of course i'll warn you there's elements that have aged poorly#but if you want to start somewhere that's like THE recommended point to start
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ppl that still wear a mask regularly you are more punk than anyone else
extra points if you’re in a really shitty area where there’s a bunch of anti maskers/anti vaxxers/overall shitty people around. you are extra more punk than anyone else
and ppl engaging in any kind of community care u are more punk than anyone else it’s about love and care babey!!!!!!
#was talking w a friend who so much braver than i#you WILL care about other ppl#anyway when the gov is pushing deadly misinfo it is NOT punk to just go along with that shit. stand up against it#i know a lot of ppl feel social pressure to not mask bc nobody else is but daring to be brave and stand out should be the norm for u#don’t fall in w the normies dare to be different and care for others. esp if nobody else is#and when i see other queer ppl who don’t mask it’s like.. hey man! did you know a disease wiped out a huge chunk of us in the 80s?#the gov said it was a ‘gay disease’ and of course they wanted gay people to die so they did nothing. they let us die#now that covid has become a ‘only disabled people disease’ do you think it’s ok for the gov to do this again?#i see other hawaiians not masking or even PROUDLY being anti vax#and again i’m like hey man! did you know hawaiians almost completely died out bc of foreign disease?#our land was illegally annexed bc so many hawaiians had died there were too little to fight back! do you think more of us should die?#i’ve heard ppl say if you don’t mask you’re not a leftist and that’s true but it also applies to so many different identities and cultures#it’s like if you claim to care about the earth but you litter on the beach. like do you really care if you can’t do the bare minimum#anyway. if u see this and u need high quality masks literally DM me and i will send you some
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hfnsjhfjsgfhjs i want to draw better i want to draw better i want to draw better
#i want to go to art classes!!!!! i want to draw professionally!!!!!!#sgeven universe is doing weird things to me. idk ive never thought abt art in the way it presents it before#(<she is going to get over it in like a week or 2 and be normal again)#but for now ousfjgshdgf i want to draw better#(realistically: i don't think i have the stamina for it. and ive heard the industry sucks. and i don't have anywhere near the talent or w/e#but :((((((#delete later#ignore#ough what's more my school had an exhibition from the higher level art classes last week (the class i could have taken had i had room in my#-schedule. and been brave enough.) and hfsjnfshgfshgfhfhnfsh#i don't know how to describe the effect seeing those projects had on me! like i could do that if i was braver and had more knowledge abt ar#but is it worth it to put effort into pursuing that?? i think trying to do art commercially would make me miserable realistically#sighs#just want to put my current thoughts down somewhere this doesn't merit a response ^^ /genuine
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The beach RGGO card for Mine is made specifically for the RGG team and no one else
some freak on rgg's team made that render just for themselves and the crew but then rgg witnessed mine skyrocket in the popularity poll and they went 'you know what'd be hilarious,'
#snap chats#still cant believe thirst trap mine's real#every time i think of the okinawa story where mine wanted to kill kiryu i cackle#cause they really just throw that in at the very end of it just like. Hey Guys Remember This#Mine Has Beachwear :)))))#yeah no fuckin wonder that random gal walked up to him she's braver than anyone else#i wouldve cried seeing a man so beautiful that day relaxing with the setting sun on okinawa's beach behind him#majima might win popularity polls among fans but mine's winning in rgg's dev team#which is hilarious considering how locked behind a vault he is... i love that honestly im not even kidding#the closest we get is Again all the rggo stories with him and i'll genuinely take a million of those im so serious#i love how popular-but-not-but-is-but-still-loved-all-the-same mine is
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Sometimes I wonder about starting a writing blog. It feels silly to imagine it since I don't write as much as I'd like (although having something dedicated to it might change that.) For a while now, easily over a year but probably a lot longer, it's been tempting to change my handle or just go full anonymous with what I write? I mean, I'm kind of anonymous now - I try to keep away most connections to offline stuff, as far as that goes, and I don't have a large presence anywhere - but I don't know.
Sometimes I feel trapped by my handle or any semblance of my identity being attached to what I do even though I probably shouldn't, and I don't know if I could even articulate that thought well enough at the moment. I know there's something freeing almost with a fresh start. I do it enough in video games to know it's an addictive feeling, so sometimes I wonder if I did so with my writing - if I dropped the satariraine handle, changed it up, made another blog, whatever - that maybe I could do more or feel braver, or try new things.
Not sure where I'm going with this. Just a thought.
#Satari rambles#Potentially to be deleted#Hi I've been on this hellsite for years and it still feels weird to use it as an actual blog#I think also with wanting to do art again it's making me wonder if I could even manage to have a personal creation blog#Instead of just the fandom mishmash that I've cultivated here#I say cultivated like it's impressive#Where in actuality I'm just vibing along with posting a new fic out once per year and enjoying talking to all the lovely people in my phone#Which is more than fine because I've had work and undergrad and grad school and life in general#But I see people have so much fun with hobby or creation blogs#And I wonder if I could be braver and stand to have my thoughts and emotions and opinions more out in the open#If I wasn't still here behind what I've had for over ten years or honesty if I wasn't such a timid person in general#There's nothing wrong with where I am now or this blog or anything of it all really#I guess sometimes it's just an itch to have a new identity#I really don't know if any of this makes sense#If you've made it this far I hope you have a wonderful timezone#Drink water and give yourself a hug or a pat on the back
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OH BTW for ppl who like milkyam (if ur there)... i translated my fav milkyam fancomic...just sharing bc I want u guys to read it too 🥺🥹 its my fav i could write an essay abt what i love abt it KFJDJFVF...
#milkyam#i rly like how they wrote milk esp kdjfdk i like how they characterize him...#i rly like this comic akdjskfs it lives rent free in my head#i actually spent hrs trying to tl this skfjsj and its actually my 2nd time attemptinf#but since the first time ive been studying kr a lot so i was able to understand it a lot better so i wanted to try again!!#and its not perfect but i tried my best...#note: jaguma = shortening of jasaek goguma (ig it's like saying yam)#(-ssi = polite suffix -nim = honorific/respectful suffix; -nim is more formal)#(also milk speaks in formal/polite speech and yam speaks casually.. like thats their speech styles in canon)#anyway pls read this comic its so cute.. its so cute but i also rly like the characterization 🥹#the way they wrote milk is like so close to my hc i lvoe it sjhfjd#i also like that they make milk slightly taller LMFAO thank u...#ppl who make milk taller than yam/dark choco r rare and braver than the marines and i owe u my life#translation
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once again experiencing the horrors (<== read: Wanting To Make An Rp Server)
#piktalk#th need t make refs is strong but once again fixationbrain is Hitting Harder#ithink this is just a symptom of Wanting To Put My Ocs Next To My Friends' Like Silly Little Dolls disease#sighs. Sighs. sighs. ohhhh if i was just a bit braver. shakes fist.
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open starter *
" . . . it's that time again ? man, time flies so fast . i think i have enough free time in my schedule to at least do something for halloween ! the question is, do i wanna go for cute or more traditional? i always default to something cute ! maybe i can mix it up . i'll have to ask for some suggestions . . . though i have a few ideas already ! "
" i wonder what everyone's going as ! i should get a consensus . as a kid , i remember dressing up as adorabbit ! ha...that was fun. and i doubt even at twenty-four that iris isn't excited like she's still eighteen !
i wonder if i can somehow make some leeway for the girls at sunfish pocket to swap the costume for a halloween one to make work more fun. i haven't seen mame in forever, i really want to see her, too ! we could have a girl's night trick or treating or just hanging out ! work's been running me in circles . . who are you all going as ?"
#𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑*ೃ༄ if you want something done do it yourself.#𝐈𝐂 *ೃ༄ braver than all flowers.#gonna get to stuff i have so much fun stuff but hoo mizuki doing something fun and not traumatic?#also i just assume amame is you know...if you know you know. she adores amame she was there for her in og aitsf.#also this is a good open if people wanna talk to mizuki about their costumes! or plans!#or suggest her some!#me: dress up as an angel why bc it's cute#or a bunny again#not adorabbit but a normal bunny LMAO#bc mizu.ki is an angel#albeit a gremlin one
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girl it’s storming !!
#actually#today was a pretty good day :]#i hope nothing bad happens now…#but omg i felt a lot better abt driving once i was i was out and about#i found some dresses and another skirt which was exciting !!#i also found the fries strawberries i was looking for !#then i picked up my job application. idk if i’m gonna apply after all cause it seemed like a. questionable establishment#but at least i have the application i guess#then i got my ears pierced again!! it went rlly well !!#i LOVE the piercer there she’s so sweet and nice and funny#im a little in love with her what about it huh#and i love the owner too she’s super nice and kept calling me cute and adorable which was nice :]#i went to the library and picked up a couple books i’ve been wanting to read#and i got my coffee !#i didn’t end up staying cause i was tired after all that#but at least i went. and now i feel braver about going back someday#and then i went home#and now it’s storming#good day 👍🏻#thank u universe#snow.txt
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the fact that i went into the office today after a long weekend where i played totk for hours and did nothing else...braver than the troops
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Hi dear, I was diagnosed with Optic Neuritis yesterday and I struggle to wake up for work today. Everything that I'm trying to see is in double and I can barely read a single word. Seeing your post regarding (tw) MS and Optic Neuritis makes me feel less lonely.
Just stumbled upon your profile and turned out you do F1 blogging as well. ;)
I'm really sorry you're going through that and I'm more glad than i can put into words that this clowny blog made you feel less lonely.
if its any consolation, it gets better. it'll never stop being painful or difficult but you will be better.
#i grapple with sharing more about ms/ being a young person with a chronic illness all the time. bc i know it would have helped me at 16#if i saw more people like myself going through similar things.#but in those short months where im well and symptom free i just dont want to think about it.#I'll take my medications everyday and I'll pretend im normal bc i don't want to think about it#my episodes tend to be quite severe. the disparity of being fine one moment to not being able to feel my hands or see or hear or focus#or stand or talk or sometimes it'll be a couple of those things at once#for weeks at a time.#It's so jarring. sometimes it takes months to really feel like myself again. to mentally recover after the symptoms ebb#but then I'll see something like your ask or interact w/ someone irl and it makes me wish so fuckin desperately that i was braver about it#i am hugging you v tight and sending you all my love#tw chronic illness#tw chronic pain
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I’ve gotten a lot better at drawing Gyro from different angles.
I might try and be brave enough to post more of the doodles I keep private while my tumblr is sitting here gathering dust, haha...
(This was actually just a cheat off a drawing I updated from an old post. I wanted to see how Gyro looked being a bit angrier.)
#gyro gearloose#ducktales 2017#dt17#oh boy here I go drawing again#I'm embarrassed to post this in the tags but hahaaa I want to be braver. Also I really like expressing my love for the ½ of team science#Edit: tumblr removed me from the tags because I linked a post waaah :')#I stg I can never trust this place#not woy
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Oh my god I know the Riku video!!Ive been waiting to see that same level of dedication and forwardness from the RGG fandom because the current videos are extremely lacking tbh…The comments on the Riku video btw are really positive which is shocking because that fandom unfortunately has some VERY loud dudebros to say the least.
The video essays you could make on homoeroticism and queerness in Yakuza could be a whole video series with how much there is to say in general.Someone endow me with video editing skills ASAP.
i would love to break out and produce the most unhinged video essays for RGG, however i'm an inarticulate coward </3 there's a lot to be said about RGG x queerness that shit would easily be DUMMY long like if youre looking for a topic that's an easy one
glad that the riku video got good reception though ! KH fans scare me but i always felt like riku being queer was something easier to agree on for the general community (or at least not mind)
#snap chats#i wont ever make a video so the closest we'll get is my dumb posts here#they're basically the same thing#i feel like ive seen a few RGG video essays but i think they're just retrospectives on Y5#i think i saw one for Y7 also but i didnt watch it- i make it a part of my mental health not to watch essays on media i love#i do not trust the public to handle this thing with care or in a way that wot make me want to eat dry wall#nothing ever compares to dragon ball video essays tho aka What If videos aka Fanfics#now im just thinkin bout mine essay.....#i could never make a video Again One i lack confidence and number two i cannot stay on topic to save my life#we know this to be true please refer to Literally Any Tag Ramble I've Done#alas here's to hoping someone's braver than i and drops a banger one day
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it was so stupid of me not trust my own intuition and how well i knew myself and how i worked and instead to trust my mother who never understood how i worked. i want throw 18 yr old me to the ground and scream at her that she knows herself better than her mother knows her
#the irony of it all is my mom did the same thing to me as her parents did to her and she hasn’t realized it#i’m on her track rn of girl who had automatic exceptsnce into good unis only to let her parents force her into going to a local college#then ruining her gpa and feeling passionless#but i don’t want to be controlled by fear like my mother was i want to be braver and stand my ground#i can’t stay here i refuse to go to my school again and i won’t i’m going to leave
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i dont like to post my art much.. im shy 🤗
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