#but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot

[dazednmatthews]

must be something that you said ~number neighbor m. sturniolo x reader part nine

long awaited meeting <3333 i’m so nervous omfg. i really hope you guys like it and it’s all it was hoped to be. ahhhh okay let’s gooooooo

y/n had spent nearly twenty minutes in front of the mirror by the time matt had pulled up outside. she ran her hands anxiously down her body, adjusting and readjusting the straps of her tank top. she’d reapplied her lip gloss about forty-five different times, changed her hair twice and huffed in frustration a million times over.

but if someone asked her, she would still claim that she didn’t care that she was about to be in the actual presence of matt. the guy she texted on whim when she was bored. the guy she’d been texting for a month now, getting to know him pretty much inside and out. the guy that was doing the same to her.

oh god, she thinks. i’m gonna be sick.

it’s only after the five minute warning from him does she grab her bag and make her way to the door. her stomach is filled with butterflies, and she feels like she’s genuinely tweaking out over the fact that she’s about to be face to face with the same boy that she’s almost positive she’s completely infatuated with she likes.

she can’t find it in her to let matt see through her though, so she locks her door with a new found confidence and trudges down the stairs. when she gets to the parking lot, she’s surprised to see matt outside of his car, leaning on the hood with his feet crossed.

he’s wearing a white and red, three quarter sleeve top, blue jeans and boots on his feet. the chain he usually wears is replaced with a cute necklace with a horse pendant on it. all in all, the outfit makes y/n want to rip her hair out. she feels weird suddenly, like maybe she doesn’t look right or won’t be what he expected- or even worse what he wanted.

it disappears as quick as it came though, when matt looks over to her and says, “thank fucking god. i thought i was gonna have to go door to door to find you and drag you out here.”

it’s just what she needs to release all the awkward tension she’d been holding. “i would’ve pretended not to know you so you got arrested for being a creeper.”

he shakes his head, eyes bright and hair falling into his eyes, “you’re just as annoying in person. damn.”

“and you’re shorter than i thought you’d be.”

matt glares at her a little. “oh fuck off.” he does a double take slightly, running his eyes down her body. “you look good. really good.”

she doesn’t know what to do, so she just shoves his shoulder. “shut up.”

she’s standing maybe ten feet in front of him still, not moving. “c’mere,” he says, gesturing her closer. “don’t act all shy now. you were in my messages talking about road head ten minutes ago.”

he pulls her in for a hug before she can even think to be embarrassed. seeing matt feels crazy. being in front of his face, no screen to separate them, feels insane. but touching matt? her face in his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist, fingers grazing the skin in between her top and her pants, made her feel absolutely deranged.

he smells so good she kind of hates him for it, and the way he’s holding on to her kind of makes her want to kiss him. it’s enough for her to pull back and look up at him through her lashes. “hi.”

it’s soft, completely out of character for their dynamic and sickly sweet. not the kind of sweet she is when she’s trying to get under his skin, but the kind of sweet that comes when you’re completely comfortable around someone. y/n can’t explain it, but for some reason, she feels the world fall away.

matt looks down at her with a boyish grin. “hi.” his voice is making her stomach do flips and tricks; so raspy and low. she really might kiss him now.

he holds her for a little longer before he pulls away, guiding her to the passenger door. “alright, let’s go.” he says, opening the door and leaning against it with a wide grin. “no time to waste. i’ve got plans for you.”

something weird blooms in her chest. it’s different than any feeling matt has ever given her. it’s scary as hell, so she forces herself to shake away the feeling. she shakes her head in amusement at the excitement that matt never shows lighting up his entire body.

in that moment, she’s sure she would’ve followed him damn near anywhere.

-

“what about this one?” y/n says, turning to matt who lingered closely behind her. he gives her a flat look at the ‘i heart dilfs’ poster she holds up.

“why the fuck would i put that in my room?”

she shrugs, “why not?”

he ignores her, going around to the shelf full of rolling trays next to her. she takes a moment to quietly admire him, eyes taking in every inch of his body. the way he stands with his body facing forward but still turned in her direction, the way his eyes dart from tray to tray with peaked interest and then way he chuckles softly when he reads something funny. it’s making her head spin, being close enough to touch him. he had felt like such a far away concept behind her phone screen and now, her brain is having trouble grasping that he’s right there.

maybe that’s why she finds herself drawn to him. finding little ways to touch him even if it’s not necessary. like now, she leans over his arm, pointing at a lava lamp. “that would be cute in your room.”

matt looks like he’s immediately about to protest, not even because he’s registered what she said but because, well that’s what they do. he doesn’t though, eyes shifting to the box. he considers it, before grabbing it. it’s purple and pink with tiny specks of orange, and he agrees despite himself.

“yeah, i think i’ll get it.”

y/n is pleased with herself then, standing back upright when he moves to the registers. when he gets to the cashier, she stands off to the side admiring a spinning wheel of keychains. matt can’t be more than ten feet from her, and she thinks it’s obvious that they were here together with the way they’ve been attached at the hip since they stepped in the store, but by the way a pretty redhead stops him on his way back to her, maybe it wasn’t.

“hi,” she says, stepping into his way. “i like your outfit.” y/n is doing everything she can to ignore the interaction in front of her, staring hard at a particularly ugly cartoon lanyard.

“thank you.” matt says. his voice is monotone and she tries not to smile at it.

“i was wondering if i could get your number?” any trace of happiness is wiped from her body. “sorry if that’s forward. i just saw you from over there and think you’re really cute.”

the girl is pretty, big auburn ringlets framing her face perfectly. from the quick glance at her, y/n sees wide, bright green eyes and long pretty lashes. give me a fucking break, she thinks bitterly, rolling her eyes.

“oh,” matt doesn’t seem surprised, but y/n can’t decipher his tone. she knows she has no right to feel any kind of way about it. she knows matt’s not her boyfriend, not anything but her friend, who she had literally just met today, but fuck it if she can control the green monster tearing through her chest. “thanks, but no. i’m here with someone.”

she wishes it didn’t make her as elated as it did. wish the warmth radiating in her fingertips and cheeks didn’t slam into her full force. but it did. it really fucking did.

she tried to control the silly grin on her face, turning her head and pressing it into her shoulder slightly. when the girl apologizes and walks away, matt is back at her side and it takes all she has not to touch him.

“sorry that took so long,” he says. “cashier yapped about a sale for forever.”

“mhm,” she says, trying and somewhat failing to push her feelings down. “whatever.”

matt slings an arm around her shoulders, steering her towards the door. “let’s go somewhere else. i hate malls and i’m fucking starving.”

-

after they get food, burgers and fries from a small place in a plaza somewhere, matt and y/n are walking through a park, exchanging stories of their siblings. y/n tells matt that the fact that he’s a triplet is something she thinks about daily, because it’s so fucking weird. matt tells her she’s an idiot and that he literally doesn’t know life any other way.

they reach a bench over looking water and decide to sit. there’s no one around, except for a stray jogger every couple minutes. y/n turns her body towards matt, surprised to see that he’s already looking at her.

“what?” she says, giving him a weird look. there’s a slight smirk on the corner of his lips, and his baby blues are looking at her like he can see through her completely.

“nothing. just wondering how long we’re gonna keep doing this.”

y/n is taken aback by that. “hanging out?” she chuckles. “got somewhere better to be?”

matt rolls his eyes. “not what i meant.” he slides closer to her. “i meant, keep pretending that this thing between us isn’t here.”

his words make her heart stutter. she can feel her eyes widen the tiniest bit. “i can tell you took that “be direct” thing to heart.”

“and i can tell you’re still sticking to the whole ‘deny, deny, deny’ thing.”

theres a soft breeze that filters through the space between them, making matt’s stray hairs go every which way. in instinct, y/n reaches up, fixing it. “i’m not denying anything.” she shrugs, somewhat shyly. “i just want to hear you say it. it’s a nice break from hearing how much i annoy you all the time.”

matt lowers his head, making himself known in her space. there’s a fingertip of length between them, and he slides his left hand carefully up her shoulder, settling it on the side of her neck. y/n can feel her heart hammering in her ribcage, all the feelings she’d spent god knows how long smothering in teasing banter and annoyed remarks bubbling up to the surface. she was kind of enamored with matt and she knew there was no use in denying it any longer.

“you do annoy me,” matt breathes. “so fucking bad.”

“yeah?”

“yeah,” he says, tightening his hold on her. she feels her bones turn to jelly. “it annoys me how much i like talking to you. it annoys me how much i miss it when you’re not in my phone talking about crazy shit.” his thumb makes its way to right under her bottom lip then, rubbing the skin affectionately. “but what annoys me the most, is how you have no idea how fucking crazy you drive me.”

y/n sees those pesky stars again as matt’s voice drops even lower. “miss you all the time. even now, when you’re right in front of me.”

y/n can’t stand it then. he’s said everything she wanted, everything she needed to hear. she got her confession, got the confirmation that everything she’d been feeling was definitely not one-sided or made up and now all she wanted to do was kiss the boy in front of her. so she does.

she hooks her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him with a gentle urgency, right where she needs him. it’s something that rivals true peace, the way they collide. matt’s hands are gripping her face so firmly, like he can’t stand the thought of her not being close and y/n’s are tangled so tightly in his hair like she never wants to let go.

it’s a month of pent up feelings overflowing and spilling out on to their fingertips. it’s so many things unsaid that have never been clearer than right now.

when the two pull apart, y/n can’t help herself. “damn. if i knew you could kiss like that i would’ve skipped all the getting to know you bullshit. your personality not that great anyways.”

matt stares incredulously, lips puffy and cheeks slightly pink. “only you have the ability to ruin a moment as good as that one.” he hangs his head with a snort. “you’re unfuckingbelievable.”

“you better fucking believe it, motherfucker. you’re stuck with me now.”

matt thinks maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world after all.

a/n: how are we feeling cherrie nation!!!!!! let me know. it’s time to get back to the silly goofy texts now cause i miss them. love u all <3333

TAGS:

@sturnioloco @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @rootbeerworshiper @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @ilovechrisssturniolo @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @hypnotizedsturn @riowritesitall @kitaysworld @h3arts4harry @fikefries @conspiracy-ash @kriissy4gov @matty-bear @always-reading @thehighgrounds

[buckttommy]

Everyone’s losing it over Tommy potentially being at the bachelor party and I’m just here like it’s a good thing either way?? Like we get some super cute buck tommy scenes and we get buck and eddie being chaotic besties together and just living their bestest life. I know a lot of ppl were hoping for something to go down between buck and eddie or for them to think something happen to lead to feelings realization and maybe tommy being there hinders that in their minds idk? Personally I never held the assumption that anything romantic or explicitly suggestive would be occurring between buddie given that this is an episode about madney and delving into buddie non platonically needs to be a separate thing. But anyway, while I want em to get together eventually, I don’t want it to be like this personally and especially just as buck and tommy are building their relationship and buck is figuring out his sexuality it’s just icky and we’re talking about buck being on a hamster wheel, starting their relationship like that sure as hell wouldn’t get him “off” the hamster wheel

Man, I have such a big gripe with this idea that Buck hasn't gotten off of the hamster wheel yet. I know that's not the point of your message, necessarily—and I do get it, and agree totally with what you're saying—but I'm curious as to what it is that people want Buck to do to get "off" the hamster wheel if, in their opinion, he's still on it. I mean, perhaps it all comes down to the way we read and interpret these characters, and if that's the case, that's fine. But a fundamental aspect of Buck's arc is that something has been missing in his life and he's been chasing that unnameable thing for years. Part of it was the Daniel thing, sure, but part of it was also something intrinsic to him. Buck has been searching for all the pieces to his puzzle in all the wrong people (Abby, Ali, Taylor, etc) and kissing Tommy, awakening to his bisexuality, was that thing finally clicking into place (hence the double entendre "I am free" that everyone glosses over). So I'm just confused as to what else people would like for him to do.

One of the points I've seen people make is that Buck asked Tommy to go to the wedding with him, and, like. Respectfully (/srs)... so what? Lol. Buck is still Buck. Being bisexual and having a crush on a man isn't going to change that. He's always going to jump in headfirst to everything he does. Another point I've seen is that, he needed Eddie to tell him to call Tommy, which I don't really get either. Mainly because I understood exactly where Buck was coming from. If I thought I blew my chances with a hot guy I had a crush on, I would probably need my best friend to tell me not to catastrophize and give the whole thing another chance too. Sometimes you need those kind of pep talks and that's okay! Anyway, I just think that expecting immediate growth just to justify that Buck has broken that pattern, when it's pretty obvious that he has—or is at least well on his way—seems a little... something. I can't put my finger on the word, but I find it irksome nonetheless. Again, it probably has to do with how we're all reading/interpreting the character which is why I haven't said anything, but since you mentioned it, I figured now was my one and only chance to talk about it before I go back to yapping in my friends' DMs lol.

Anyways. Tommy at the Bachelor party. Yeah, I mean. I think it'd be a shame to have any "big" Buddie moment at Madney's wedding/during their wedding episode anyway because it'll immediately overshadow Maddie and Chimney's day, and I don't want that! 9-1-1 is an ensemble for a reason; we can give Maddie and Chimney one day out of the season, like. It's literally fine lol.

[bb-olicity]

On An Island Alone

It’s been 3 weeks since Chenford’s breakup and I feel like I’m on an island… alone.  The day after 6x06 aired, I made the decision to walk away from The Rookie. Well, at least until after the finale. I’ll decide if I'm walking away permanently once I check online and see how the season ended.  And before I go any further, to anyone who wants to say I'm not a true Rookie and (most importantly) Chenford fan: I have just as much right to stop watching the show as you do to keep watching it.

So why am I choosing to no longer watch the show?

The main reason I started watching the show in the first place is/was Chenford and I can’t sit there and watch them redo Seasons 4 and 5A and I won’t. Especially considering the fact we already know from Eric’s comments to TVLine they’re not getting back together by the end of the season finale.  I do not see them getting back together until at least the midseason finale next season.  Actually, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure they will get back together or if they even should.  I know me saying that will make a lot of people mad, but after reading Melissa and Eric’s post-episode interviews, I got a sense of finality when they were talking about Tim and Lucy’s relationship as a couple and the breakup.  Plus, I honestly don’t see how they can come back from what they did, which leads into the other reason why I’m not watching anymore.

Tim’s whole storyline rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  They could’ve brought in his military past in so many other ways and still had him struggle without destroying his character in the process.  As it is, the storyline feels extremely forced just to cause drama for the sake of drama and, for me, irredeemably destroyed Tim’s character.  They completely erased 5 ½ seasons of character growth in the matter of only 1 ½ episodes.  And I'll never be able to see Tim the same way again, even if he goes to therapy.  I personally would never be able to trust him again and I honestly don’t see how Lucy could either.  That’s also why part of me feels like they should not get back together. Yes, I know it’s a short season and everything is condensed, but Alexi and the writers should not have done the storyline this late in the season, knowing they would not be able to do it justice with only 4 episodes left and not knowing the show’s fate by the time they finished filming the finale.  Since they were planning to break them up, I feel like they should’ve done it at the end of the premiere or by 6x03. That way there would’ve been time for Tim and Lucy to work through their struggles individually then work them as a couple by the end of the season.

Why do I feel like I’m on an island alone?

After the episode aired, a lot of the fandom was angry and a good number said they were done to show.  However, over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that number dwindling and a lot fans are now justifying the breakup who weren’t before and they have absolutely every right to.  I can see where they’re coming from, to a certain extent.  Tim and Lucy both were hiding things from each other since they started dating and would just gloss over things that needed deep and meaningful conversations to work them out.  That said, I personally will never agree with the breakup or the whole (Tim’s) storyline and will always maintain the breakup was completely unnecessary and they could’ve (and should’ve) stayed together and worked through their struggles as a couple.  So yeah, I’m on an island alone… and that’s okay.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

[davlucies]

remember when imbalance came out and people managed to be upset griffin handled dav's perspective about cycle 92 & his relationship with lucretia with sensitivity, nuance, and realism

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

me vibrating about albert meta while having my second coffee of the day, to the tune of shots: thoughts, thoughts, thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts

[lizzylizzyinatizzy]

my partner is going to propose to me soon. as in this weekend.

i know this.

i have known this for months.

somehow this does not negate the anxiety. i just want everything to be perfect.

[moon7jay]

Pent up (l.hs, p.sh)

Read pt.2 here

Warnings : Non con, dub con(?), morally grey plot obviously (what do u even expect from me), filth, smut

Heeseung could feel the familiar itch in his chest and palms... and somewhere else. Well his dick to be precise.

He was horny. Inexplicably and utterly horny. could you blame him? His fanbase was majorly comprised of females. Hot females. But they weren't allowed to mingle with fans and that heightened his yearning more. Like craving the taste of a forbidden fruit.

He rubbed an exasperating hand over his sweaty face, breathing heavily through his nose to get in as much oxygen as he could, the testosterone was high in the hotel room, everyone still riding the adrenaline rush from the concert even though it had been done and over an hour ago. The tension was high in their bodies still and he could feel himself buzzing with it.

He knew it was practically impossible to get pussy at this hour, especially with the whole NDA thing and it agitated him further. His balls were heavy and in a desperate need to be drained empty by a tight warm pussy or mouth, he didn't even care, he just needed release.

He mentally thanked God for being the oldest and having the solo room privileges cuz it seemed like hardcore porn and his hand would have to do for the night. He was so ready to jerk off till his dick ached.

"Gonna head to my room" he informed Jay, who was sitting beside him on the spacious couch, just in case their manager started panicking upon not finding him with the rest of the boys.

Jay gave him a quick nod of acknowledgement and went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. Probably texting his girlfriend. That lucky fucker, heeseung thought. Jay's girlfriend was hot, heeseung had checked her out shamelessly on multiple occasions, even tried to get into her personal space a lot of times until Jay strictly told him to back off. Well, his bad, but what could he do? He was just a man who thought with his dick most of the time.

You heard him before you saw him, the sudden click of the door opening startling you enough to make you jump and turn around towards it. With the air freshener still in your hands, you came face to face with the most gorgeous man you had ever seen.

First thing you noticed about him was how tall he was, looking down at you even from a distance. His messy hairs fell over his forehead , his entire body clad in a casual black shirt and sweats attire. You gulped cuz this wasn't a part of the job. You were told to ready up the rooms for some very important people who would be staying at the hotel tonight but no one was supposed to be here for another hour or two. or maybe you messed up the timings again. Oh you were fucked.

The gorgeous man raised an amused eyebrow at your deer caught in the headlights stance and that's what finally made you break out of your inner monologue and you bowed to him, body on autopilot to do damage control

"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience sir, i wasn't aware you would get here this fast, I just need to fix the bed and I'll be done" you stuttered out, hoping a quick apology would be enough and turned back around to quickly fix the sheets, spraying the freshening spray around, hoping you won't be reported to the manager for this blunder.

What you failed to notice in your inner panic was how heeseung turned the lock of the door, setting the bolt in place, basically locking you in the room with him.

You didn't notice how his eyes scanned your figure while you apologized to him, or how his blood ran hot when the word "sir" came out from between those tempting, glossed lips of yours.

You didn't notice how his eyes ran shamelessly over your exposed legs, his tongue coming out to wet his lower lip while he ogled the curve of your ass as you bent over to fix the bed sheets.

Damn, heeseung thought, his dick twitching in interest, already leaking in his pants with how excited he was becoming at the sight of you.

You jumped upon feeling two large palms grabbing your sides, a squeak falling from your lips at the unwelcome touch

"What the fuck" was the first thing that came out of your mouth, caught too off gaurd to even react properly.

You tried to turn around to push him away but before you could even move he was twisting your body, manhandling you onto the bed. Your mouth opened to scream but a large palm stopped your attempt, your eyes widened in terror upon feeling his large body settle over yours, one tight grip on both of your wrists, trapping your hands above your head while his hand covered your mouth.

Heeseung was ecstatic, he could feel how soft you were against his hard body,your tiny figure squirming underneath his harsh hold, wide scared eyes staring up at him through wet lashes, he wanted to coo, you looked so adorable like this. Just ready to be fucked.

"You know I could easily get you fired sweetheart, just don't fight this" He threatened subtly, his calm voice oddly did the trick and you halted your struggling body.

You were a broke college student barely making ends meet. Your younger siblings depended on you for everything and so just the thought of getting fired was enough to chill your bones. That just wasn't something that you could afford. Tears flowed down your cheeks but you complied. Accepting your fate.

His eyes pivoted to your heaving chest, the open button at the top of your dress shirt giving him a peak of your perky mounds, driving him crazy with his rising lust for your body.

"Going to remove my hand but only if you'll be a good girl" he whispered, his hot breath fanned your face and you nodded too enthusiastically, making him chuckle and remove his hold on your mouth. His hand instantly moved to unbutton your shirt, making you sniffle into yourself. You closed your eyes in disgust, not wanting to see what was happening to your body, a sharp gasp leaving your lips when his rough hand squeezed your chest harshly.

An excited "fuck" fell from his lips upon feeling your soft tits, hardening him further in his pants. He duck down to run his nose along your clavicle, breathing you in while he groped the sensitive flesh of your boobs mercilessly. He traced the length of your neck and jaw, leaving small kisses and bites, eventually coming face to face with you.

"Open your pretty eyes I want you to see me do this to you" he whispered on your lips, taking the bottom one between his teeth. His nails dug into your mounds when you didn't listen, making you cry out in pain and giving into his wishes.

Your tear strained eyes looked into his lust blown hazy ones, watching how he suckled on your bottom lip, opening your mouth pliantly when he thrust his tongue into your mouth, licking and sucking, lewd noises coming from him at the taste of your tongue.

Heeseung was painfully hard. And as much as he wanted to take his time exploring your body, he was too fucking impatient to do so. His dick was weeping to get inside your warm fuck hole and he was not going to deprive himself of the much needed relief of your body any longer.

He moaned into your mouth, licking deeper while his hand travelled down between your legs, moving under your dress skirt to probe at your pussy from above your panties, making you gasp into his hungry mouth. That breathless gasp and the feel of your cunt was what did him in.

Removing himself from your body he climbed down the bed while you watched him petrified. Nerves frozen in anticipation of his next move.

"Take off your panties" He instructed you while he undressed his lower half, hastily taking off his sweats and boxers, exposing his hard and leaking dick to your terrified eyes.

You sobbed, your thighs closing upon the sight of his member, it was so big and you could already imagine the pain it was going to put you in. You saw how his jaw clenched at your lack of action, sharp and annoyed eyes staring daggers at your face

"we can both enjoy this if you don't fight me baby, or I can enjoy this alone I don't fucking mind it either way" He gritted through his teeth, climbing back on top of you. Before he could reach for your clothes your small hands were stopping him, sniffing softly as you took a good look at him. His inquisitive eyes watched you impatiently.

"O-okay" You whispered and slowly reached down to take off your panties, opening your legs for him. A weird tingling feeling was starting to build up in between your legs upon seeing his leaking length. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't gotten laid in a while or maybe you were a freak but you could feel the moisture starting to accumulate in your pussy.

He bit his lower lip upon seeing you so pliant and ready to take him. God he needed to fuck the shit out of you. "That's a good fucking girl" he whispered.

He didn't wait any longer to aim his cock at your entrance, parting your pussy lips and breaching the opening of your cunt, a pained moan leaving your lips while he groaned in satisfaction at the feeling of your snug walls.

Your hands held onto his shoulders, your back arching at the feeling of him forcing himself inside of you so roughly, burying himself in your womb to the hilt.

"fuck yeah baby" He groaned upon feeling his balls slap your asscheeks, finally fitting his entire dick inside your warm and tight pussy.

He didn't give you time to adjust, his hips moving on pure animal instinct to fuck. You screamed in pain at his brutal movements but the constant bumping of his dick into your cervix was making your eyes roll back into your head.

His hips moved against yours roughly, pelvic smacking sounds filling up your senses. Heeseung's mind was focused on the singular thought of your pussy, brows furrowed and mouth open as he moved his dick in and out of you, enjoying the tight clench of your walls, giving him so much pleasure his entire body was on fire

"your cunt is making me feel so good" he panted on your face, his movements never ceasing, you could feel every drag of his veiny cock against your gummy walls, making you moan in pure pleasure

"You're getting wetter the more we fuck baby" He chuckled through strained voice, hoisting your legs over his shoulders, taking you deeper, penetrating his cock way past your womb.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, moaning helplessly as he grinded his lower body into yours, your colliding sexes making a mess now that you were leaking onto the sheets

"That's right-fuck-enjoy it with me, a little fun never hurt anybody" He grunted, increasing his pace, desperately chasing the friction your pussy was giving him

"Oh my god-" you screamed when he continued to beat your insides raw, bumping continuously against your g spot.

"Yeah? feels good doesn't it baby? giving it to you so good yeah?" he spoke, his thrusts merciless. Railing you into the bed.

Your hips chased his own, opening your legs further for him, enjoying the sex more than you were supposed to. If this was happening to you, you might as well enjoy it right?

Your lips attached themselves to his throat and he moaned, lust blown eyes staring down at you

"You are getting off to this you little fucking slut, fuck yeah " He spat at you in disgust but the twitch of his dick inside your womb didn't go unnoticed by you.

"You like when men force themselves inside your slutty little cunt yeah? makes you feel so good doesn't it baby?" His words only made you wetter, your juices leaking onto his balls.

He was busy pounding you into the sheets, the bed creaking loudly, skin slapping sounds so deafening you didn't hear the lock jingling and the door opening.

"Mhmm fuck, busy enjoying alone?" a manly voice interrupted your pleasure filled haze, your eyes darting to the side as a tall and even more gorgeous figure came in your field of vision. His eyes were focused on you and how heeseung was railing you.

Even though you wanted to hide away from his gaze, the lust filled phase your mind was in was turning you on more.

Heeseung didn't cease his movements, smirking at the spare key in sunghoon's hand, he sighed in pleasure at the way your pussy was clenching rapidly around his dick, excited at the prospect of someone watching you fuck

"little slut, she likes that you're here" he panted, folding your body in half and fastening his hips, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten.

"fuck keep clenching on me baby, I'm so fucking close" He groaned, his movements incessant, holding your hips and moving rapidly against you, harsh breaths fell from his lips, eyes focused on yours. He slotted his mouth against yours and moaned out loud, his hips stilling inside you while he filled you with his fuck cream,moaning in satisfaction.

His subtle grinds were frustrating you, needing more friction to reach your own high. Heeseung felt your hips pushing up from the bed to chase his dick and chuckled in disbelief

"you want more dick?" he asked pulling out of you with a pop and watching his thick cum leak out of your hole. You nodded, your hand moving down to circle on your clit, arching into your own touch like a literal sex hungry slut.

"fuck that's hot" sunghoon groaned and your eyes moved to him, his hand squeezed his bulge from above his pants while he watched your movements with hungry eyes. In your sex drunk haze you had forgotten he was even there. You opened your legs further, showing him what you were doing.

"You can stick it inside of her you know, bet she wants it bad" heeseung taunted at him, climbing down the bed and taking a seat on the couch across from it.

Sunghoon was scurrying to unzip his pants as soon as he understood the meaning of heeseung's words and before you knew he was settling over your body, rubbing his dick against your slit, making you bite your lower lip in anticipation of getting dicked down again.

"Where did you even find her, I thought we weren't supposed to fuck fans" He asked looking over at heeseung briefly before pushing himself inside you with a pained groan. You screamed at the sudden penetration, body squirming.

"so fucking tight" he let out through gritted teeth, snapping his hips into yours impatiently.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and arched your body into him. God he was so much bigger than heeseung, your pussy felt so full, you could already feel your high approaching.

"She's not a fan" heeseung groaned gruffly, making you glance over at him, your pussy clenched crazily upon seeing how he sat manspreading on the couch, his dick in his palm, jerking off while he watched you.

Sunghoon didn't question him further, at this point he couldn't care less about who you were, he just wanted to fuck your pussy and that's all that mattered to him.

His hands moved down to help you wrap your legs around his waist and he started thrusting inside of you, a pleasurable groan leaving him upon feeling your wet snatch

"warm and wet, she's like every guy's fucking wet dream" He grunted, his hips snapping rapidly into yours, fucking his dick into your fuck hole in a frenzy. He wasn't going to last long.

"she is isn't she, fucking slut, fuck her pussy , beat it till it's red and raw" Heeseung panted through gritted teeth, his movements fastening on his dick, squeezing his balls and sighing in the overwhelming pleasure.

"fuck yeah" sunghoon groaned and adjusted his hips to reach inside you deeper, making you moan in pleasure, incoherent words falling from your lips, you could taste your orgasm on the the tip of your tongue. "Such good pussy fuck yeah you should get paid for it" He chuckled breathlessly and you moaned at his words. No one had ever talked to you this way.

Your hips chased his dick desperately, fucking yourself back on him

"Yeah you like this don't you? - holy shit-like when men use your tight little cunt to jerk off their dicks don't u baby?" sunghoon panted on your face and you moaned, nodding your head while he pounded you into the sheets

"Cum In her hoon, fill that filthy pussy to the brim" heeseung moaned, his hips lifting off the couch as he watched your grinding bodies fucking like animals on the bed. Hot pleasure was running through his viens and he could feel himself close to another release.

"Shit yeah, so good, feels so good, yeah mhmmnfuck" sunghoon rambled burying his nose into the crook of your neck as his hips grinded into yours, feeling so close, so close, so-

A gutteral moan ripped from his throat and he was coming undone inside of your cunt,the feeling of his warm cum pushing you over the edge, moans and groans filling up the room

"fuck, fuck, fuck ugh God" Heeseung gasped, spilling his cum all over his hand and thighs, his stomach clenching and caving upon feeling such mind numbing pleasure.

Sunghoon's body fell upon yours, grinding a few times to properly fill you with his cum and then he was pulling out of your abused cunt. Groaning upon seeing the mess you were making on the sheets.

Your head lulled to the side in exhaustion, body so sore and mind so numb that you didn't even notice the flash going off as sunghoon captured the sight of your leaking pussy on his phone, saving it in his jerk off folder. He was quick to adjust his dick inside his pants and climb down the bed

"thanks man I needed that" He said and winked at heeseung. Heeseung nodded at him and watched as he left the room fully satisfied. His eyes fell on your spent and naked figure on the bed and he could feel his dick twitch in interest again. Fuck.

Before he could decide against it, he was picking up his phone and dialing jake's number

"Hello?" came jake's muffled voice from the speaker

"Come over to my room and bring Jay with you, I've got the perfect thing for you to relieve the pent up tension"

"Is it your ps5? Because I don't-

"It's a pussy"

Heeseung smiled upon hearing the instant scurrying he could hear over the speaker and he faintly heard jake calling jay's name before he hung up on him.

The night was going to be so so long.

[anantaru]

DAY 10 — EXHIBITIONISM

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

kink. exhibitionism — having a strong desire to be observed by other people during a sexual activity

𖧡 — including — itto, childe, xiao, dainsleif

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, exhibitionism, public setting & outdoors, yes! we're touching grass, fingering, oral (fem! receiving), praises, needy boys & touch starved! genshin men

𖧡 — ITTO

itto holds you by his arms as you're being surrounded by a string of hurried gasps, and it's decidedly comfortable and personal whilst having them tightly compressed around your quivering shape— at the same time, you slowly notice the built up in his lust racing over the radiance in his eyes.

or his feet shuffling in their place when he lastly kisses you, firmly pressing you against the cold wall, your lips glossed due to his wet smooches, his tongue breaching and searching for entrance, reaching inside, his hands squeezing your ass, everything happens so quick and oh, there it was, the scene gets paired with melting kisses as itto laps at the warmth of your mouth.

in a hurried embrace, he courses one calloused hand down to your lower stomach before tugging at the hem of your pants, his eyes imbedded with a glimmer of needfulness, playful and as if he was about to beg— you figure, perhaps you have been apart for too long, after all, the last time you had seen each other had certainly been ages ago.

you should have expected this, because you dealt with it the same way, agonizingly counting each second before you would stumble home after your date to rip the clothes off your bodies, when in reality, now neither of you thought it was even necessary to return into the safe confines of your bedroom to be all over each other— and the thought of someone walking by only made it a whole lot more thrilling.

bare in mind— and this was crucial but there was nothing shielding you from curious eyes, besides an impending shadow casted down on you rubbing against each othet. for what mattered, the wall you're being pressed on was bitterly cold and chilly as well, even with your garments separating you, you can still feel it on your warm skin— when it effortlessly coaxes out the goosebumps on your spine.

"baby.. you smell so sweet," itto whines at you, a sharp, nipping groan spewing from his mouth, "—really really cannot wait anymore." how convenient for him, well, his senses were probably being much more dignified than your own so itto must've felt everything happening to an intenser level.

however, it's passionate when he first slides his warm digits past the waistband of your trousers to sneakily welcome the hotness of your cunt, clumsily ghosting his middle finger around your soaked folds before lastly finding your slit— his sloppy dick twitching against his rough pants, but itto didn't worry too much about it, his time will come soon enough.

"i missed you so much, baby." you retort back to him with a hitch of a sudden, rough fingertip circling your slit, idly kissing up his sharp jawline before whining at the finger prodding at your velvety hole— so, to keep yourself steady you wrap both arms around his neck and hide yourself behind his large frame pressing you against the wall whilst roaming your palms over his muscular back before ripping through the covered skin with your nails, "please..."

and one thing about itto, he fucks you like he hates you, and hearing you beg for him just like that pushes him on the verge of exploding and losing his mind, perhaps even fantasizing about swarming your pretty cunt with his dripping cock hidden under his pants— but he cannot wait for that, call him lazy but taking off his clothes will cost him additional minutes and he just had to be inside you, whilst not with his dick, instead with two long, thick fingers curling up inside.

feeling him again after such a long time apart makes you cry out, fuck, you missed him so dearly your heart was beginning to ache under your ribcage, your cunt welcoming him immediately, clawing down on his digits rubbing sturdily at your walls. a satisfied groan holds the foundation of his soothing noises like a warm breeze enveloping your body, his fingers continuing to pump into you at a rapid pace, painting you with the packing trace of his digits that clung to your swollen walls like instant glue, vibrations emitting through your wet sex whilst taking in his sloppy shoves.

"never.." he drawls possessively against your parted lips, huffing out warm pants before adding on to his words, "never ever wanting to be apart from you again." and your heart flutters open wide, his words touching that it almost brings you to tears— if only itto could see through your current thoughts right now, he'd see his handsome face immediately.

𖧡 — CHILDE

a suffocating euphony of passionate, drilling blows of raw skin on skin strike the darkness of the night as childe swiftly plants his hand on top of your mouth before leisurely continuing to roll his hips into your cunt without a single care in this world— being utterly aware that it wouldn't make a damn difference, even better if someone unintentionally picks up on the "unusual" noise.

his lips twitch up in a cocky smile when his hard, pulsing erection slips through your quivering pussy, pistoling over the aching pulse on your walls before easing his lips almost on top of yours, with nothing more but the back of his hand keeping you apart— you simply cannot believe this man and his tormenting ability to bring you to the sharp edge of things, even turning you this longing and ready to take his thick cock outside, yes, outside with the small particles of erupting sweat and wet moans sticking close on your skin.

to note that you were barely camouflaged was almost embarrassing in its entirety, besides that tree doing absolutely nothing to conceal anything at all whilst you're certain that someone had to hear at least something. regardless, you decide to secretly thank your boyfriend for holding your leg up with his other hand— you yourself being too weak to do so yourself, not when he made you receive him in such feral capacity, making an absolute mess of you, your arousal dribbling down your pussy at each thrust, the juices sticking on your thighs as he carries on with his strength induced pace.

however, for some fucked-up reason, it's turning you on by a tenfold— it's visibly notable on your shaking body and how your hips thrust up into his ruts while you're biting back pitchy whimpers, especially when childe drags his fat cockhead over that particular spot that made you lose control of your vision, the already limited breathing room evolving to an even more constricted version when ajax not once, changes the tempo on your hips.

"fuck— you know you'll be too fucking loud, baby." he laughs through a feigned sense of innocence, as if he hadn't planned this entire thing beforehand, you're sure of it— while it's utterly hilarious, even more hypocritical of him to have his hand planted all over your mouth when it was certainly him, instead, making most of the noise.

all you can say back was, well, nothing, besides a couple angry grunts into his palm and in any other instance you'd consider being mad at him, despite his perfectly shaped dick wrecking havoc on your silken walls forming around the size of him— yet tonight, you cannot be mad, not when he was utterly devouring your pleasure.

𖧡 — XIAO

you're being forced to stay quiet by none other than xiao himself— compelled to swallow down each pining ache in your throat— which, now come to think of it, might've been the most arousing out of the entire situation taking form, obviously not counting in the pleasure he induced on you.

the need to remain quiet though, it's what made the real difference in how your body had been reacting to his shape on you, "there's people down there, stay quiet." and he tells you, again, whispers it into your ear because xiao needs to be sure you understand the situation you're in as he kisses your forehead, his mannerism fusing into a soft, understanding lover before moving his hips again, thrusting his inches into you rougher, better, his pants soiled with his pre and sweat.

he grunts of both excitement and a dab of annoyance taking your loud, muffled whines into consideration. regardless of such, the man wouldn't want to experience it in an alternative way, always beyond flustered when you bite into his shoulder to quieten down, so you wouldn't pull on his nerves and make him punish you for disobeying to his orders.

wait, hold on for a second, this didn't sound so bad after all, or does it?

on top of that, the wangshu inn was absurdly crowded tonight, whilst xiao and you were preoccupied, sparse silhouettes tenderly touching each other just on top of the building— and for whatever reason, none of you proposed the idea of actually going inside and finishing what you had started. it would've been a far better idea, baring in mind that the certain place you were currently laying on, with xiao towering on top, was barely hidden behind anything— genuinely, if you'd lean your head just a little bit to the left, you could easily see a couple people chit chatting away, not knowing a damn thing on what was going on upstairs.

"hey!" xiao suddenly snaps at you, bending his head into your neck to bite at the sweat stricken skin, although faintly, it was strong enough to have you squeal out in mild pain, forcing your body to let go of a rushing shiver as a strong heatwave surges right under the surface of your cheeks the moment he props himself by his elbows to gaze down on you through pretty lashes— obviously without pulling his cock out, not when it felt so deliciously good being milked by you, yet do not get excited to soon because xiao wouldn't move either, without a care in this world leaving you to dangle around on a thread, his increasingly wet shaft bristling within the tightness of your walls.

"what did i say?" xiao's breath was hot and guttural against your parted lips, your legs trembling at his dripping dick not moving besides continuing to bulk up in your core as your translucent juices began to seep on his shaft and his trousers, slicking him up with your own, personal way of claiming the handsome yaksha. and instead of responding to his question, you resume back to nibbling on his defined jawline before deciding to voice out a whispery, little sorry to your boyfriend, knowing full on well that he will accept your half assed apology no matter the circumstances.

because in truth, xiao hasn't even started fucking you properly yet— until now, at least, because the second you're back to having your arms around his neck, he drags his entire cock out of you before shimming his inches all the way inside, greedily touching your insides and pumping his hard erection into the warmness of your sex— whilst baring his teeth together to stop himself from becoming overly noisy himself, the embarrassment that would occur from that looked like a death sentence to xiao, aside from standing there like a total hypocrite when it was him the entire night scolding you to stay quiet.

𖧡 — DAINSLEIF

"don't be too loud, okay?"

dainsleif sinfully bucks his tongue into your cunt before he places a single digit on your clit, thrusting against the bristling bundles of nerves as the softness of his wet muscle inside your slit made you whine out his name between wet hiccups— to top it all of, giving your breast a firm squeeze with his other hand.

you're done for, always will be whenever it was dainsleif who was in control of when your body was allowed to indulge in pleasure— despite that, you never would've imagined to be laid down on top of a cold, wooden table while you're surrounded by loud, noisy chit chatters from next doors, only realizing now that the door to your room, was partly open.

before you could voice out your growing worry, you're being forced to buck up your hips into his hungry mouth lapping at your puffiness, your pussy charging up on vibrations as your body moves far beyond your own control of it, a soreness on your legs increasing the strong built up on your tightened core as dainsleif stuffs you full with nothing but his tongue reaching your warmest, most desired places.

"seems like you noticed, hm?" he suddenly pulls his hot mouth away from you, smirking ever so slightly when you whine at the loss of it, but don't you worry now— because he keeps his fingers on top of your clit to twist the trembling flesh and trap it in between his digits— fuck, you're so desperate for this he could practically taste it on your entire body erupting of pervaded pleasure. in reality, the thought of people hearing you both wasn't something dainsleif actually minded that much, it preciously served as a way of making everyone aware of your current relationship status.

"what if they hear us?" you wince, feigning being worried were it not to the fact that there was nothing you craved more than having his skilled tongue pistoling inside your slit again, your pupils blown wide when dainsleif at last frees his cock from the confines of his pants, the penetrative noise of his belt hitting the ground echoing off the room, hand in hand with laughter from people residing just next to you.

it's him, him, him, you want him. and when dainsleif finally sinks the full length of his cock into you, he takes your body and claims it, squeezes his hips in between your legs so he could reach inside really deep, fucking you with his bottomless endurance, so precise and skilled that you shake under him, the wooden table scratching the ground as you nearly lose yourself, begging him to lean his chest down on you so you could easily hide and moan against the nook of his neck, whilst feeling how your hearts beat in sync.

of course, despite his nature of appearing cold and a little aloof, he answers your silent pleas and wraps his muscled arms around your body whilst keeping one large palm on top of your head so you wouldn't unnecessarily bump against something and actually hurt yourself, never once letting go of you— and you're squealing with delight, the tempo of his hips hoping to claim you and going so hard that this sort of pace would appear to be slightly punishing, but it feels so nice— relishing in the feeling of his thudding cock pounding into you with everything he's got when, all of a sudden;

"hey guys? do you also hear those weird noises coming from next doors?"

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[pomefioredove]

having a crush on you

summary: how they would act having a crush on you type of post: headcanons characters: pomefiore (vil, rook, epel) additional info: reader is yuu, reader is gender neutral, rook is rook, not proofread, hi I'm insane and I love pining, I NEED to write another fic but with rook. might write this same prompt with other dorms

𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

don't take his calm and collected facade as apathy

he's slowly losing his mind about this

"pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself, falling asleep thinking about you" kind of losing his mind

it's my personal belief that Vil hasn't been in love before this

hasn't even really thought about it

so when you enter the picture it kinda throws him off balance

and with the exception of Rook, no one can even tell

he is an actor, after all, he can play the part of "totally platonic friends with room for Jesus"

(maybe a little too well)

but Vil isn't entirely emotionally repressed

he keeps things to himself, yes, but he's quite conscious of his own wants and needs

so when he realizes he's been craving your presence more than usual he does acknowledge it

in his head

and then does nothing about it for months

...what? he's busy

things like this can wait for him, and he doesn't want to put a rift between you two in case it might be a passing feeling

well... it doesn't pass

he becomes keenly aware of how much he wants you around him, how much he thinks about you, how much your very presence is enough to make him happier than he's ever... really felt

and you know what?

he is totally cool about it.

just kidding. he drives himself insane trying to think of the perfect way to confess, something that will impress you and meet his standards

he's dropping hints left and right and you don't seem to be picking any of them up

which again, just makes him crazy

(some days he really wants to ask you how oblivious one person can be, but he restrains himself)

I mean, how many times can he send you red tulips before you finally get the hint? he's practically spelling it out for you!

there is... a tiny, little part of him that worries you don't reciprocate

is he not your type? are you interested in someone else? perhaps he'd been too harsh on you, after all...

the fact that one little potato can make him so worried absolutely drives him mad

he is the vision of poise and grace and you are ruining him

and this sort of mood comes and goes in waves

just when he thinks he's pulled himself back together, you'll smile at him or say something cute and suddenly he's back to square one

(you're so adorable it's annoying -_-)

while he's sorting out a good way to express his feelings properly, he'll be spending all his free time with you

you need some new things? he'll be glad to take you shopping

you came over to see Epel? oh, well, he's not here, but you should stay for some tea, anyway!

your afternoon is free? he has some new lip gloss he's been dying to test out...

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭

contrary to popular belief, I don't think Rook would be so open about it

he still compliments you, of course, and sings praises of your beauty and elegance, and has little regard for personal space, as always

but he's like that with a lot of people, so it's hard to really tell when he likes someone

the truth of the matter is that Rook Hunt can be just as reserved with his feelings as anyone else

when he really, really likes someone, he keeps it to himself

why?

he's hunting you he's learning more about you before making his true feelings known

he feels it's necessary to have an adequate amount of information on his target before making a move, after all

for reference: you catch his eye at orientation, and do not have a single conversation with him until after winter break

(of course, after that, you start mysteriously running into him everywhere)

is he kinda weird about it? uh. yeah.

this is Rook we're talking about

on the other hand, he's completely lovesick about you and it's almost cute

he's definitely the type to write your initials in a journal with a glitter pen while kicking his feet back and forth and giggling

seeing if you would sound better with his last name or he with yours...

definitely has a very weird photo collection of you somewhere in his room

along with stacks of poems, pressed flowers, and little gifts he intends to give you once he's won you over

(when, not if. Rook is nothing if not patient)

you may find a rose left outside Ramshackle every so often

or a few cans of tuna for Grim

all while acting like the same old eccentric Rook, no discernable difference

except when you can feel his eyes on you at random places in the middle of the day

Ace and Deuce call you paranoid but you can't shake the feeling

though, every once in a while he'll get a little grumpy

Rook is easily jealous, and while that sort of possessiveness never extended to untouchable idols like Vil and Neige, he's already decided that you're his prey

and he'd kindly ask everyone else to find their own, thank you

he hasn't exactly planned the confession yet, but just know it's probably going to be the sweetest and craziest you've ever heard

𝐄𝐩𝐞𝐥 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐫

first of all he's going to fight you for making him like you so much

second of all he's going to beg for a chance

maybe not in that exact order

Epel is constantly at war with his own emotions and having romance thrown in the mix is. uh. not optimal

not only does it ruin the stoic, strong male persona he's been trying to build, but it's also making him feel all soft and gushy

suddenly he cares about looking nice

(much to Vil's approval)

and now he wants to do nice things for you?

he's gonna bite you

how dare you make him think about kissing and holding hands!

don't you know he's supposed to be above all this romantic stuff? what is he, Rook?!

then, after his initial temper tantrum, he starts coping. hard.

he might be able to stomach the idea of being an item if he gets to wear the pants in the relationship

...yeah, right? right.

if you let him be the man, if you let him protect you...

he might be okay with it!

obviously he starts trying to show off his manly strength (seriously) every time he sees you

starts making comments about how tough practice was on him

will literally never let anyone else carry anything for you ever again

he even provides for you (in payments of apple juice)

obviously this backfires 'cause the second you do something that gives him butterflies he's back to giggling

(you'll have to ease him into the idea of being soft and romantic together, but he'll get there)

but, to his credit, he'd be the first out of all the above to confess

super suddenly and out of nowhere (and he ends up shouting it cause he didn't want to sound chicken) but it's sweet in its own way

[where-dreams-dwell]

*spoilers for One Day*

For people saying ‘it’s tragic, Dex and Em only got 3 years together’ no. They got 15 years together.

Glossing over the span of their life together to sum it up as ‘only 3 years together’ misses all the love and time they had together that wasn’t solely romantic.

Why is their relationship only ‘important’ or ‘counts’ when it’s a romantic one? Maybe there was always romantic love buried in there or growing steadily but there was a whole lot of platonic love there too.

For 15 years they were the most important person in the world to one another, they described each other as their ‘best friend’ and the person they reached out to at every high and low moment. And for the last 3 of those years they were also a couple.

There are loads of examples of Dex reaching out to Em when he’s at his lowest: the last birthday with his mum, then he’s reeling from his divorce, when he’s scared people will hate him on TV. And you *could* read that as pathetic and Em being his emotional crutch, with Dex latching into her. But you could *also* see that as when you’re struggling and low, you just want your best friend. Because they *get* you. And part of being a best friend is being there in those low moments.

And Em has done the same with Dex, just in different ways. That first year out of uni Em had no idea what she was doing; in a job she couldn’t wait to leave, a relationship that didn’t make her happy, not sure where she was going in life or what she was doing. Em writes to Dex often, and doesn’t need him to reply to her, just to read her letters and be *her* emotional crutch and person to vent to.

Even at that breakup-dinner, Em has things she ‘needs to talk about’ and she’s reached out to Dex to do it. We don’t see her discussing it with Tilly, we see her trying to talk about it with Dex. She’s at arguably her lowest moment (hates her job, hates her partner, hates her home) and she wants her best friend to listen to her. Just like he did when she was 24 and thinking about giving up and leaving London, and Dex convinced her to stay and keep going.

So they are emotional crutches *to one another*. That’s also part of being someone’s best friend.

And for all the low moments Dex also wanted to share his best moments with her too: when he’s excited about the TV pilot he calls Em to say ‘the only person I want to share this with is you’, and begs Em to find a way to be there. Yes this is also him dismissing and ignoring her achievements, yes this is self absorbed and rude and at the height of his egomania, but in that moment of triumph he only wants his best friend there with him.

When they see one another again at Tilly’s wedding Em is brave and self assured when she reveals she’s ‘thought of you every day, missed you every day’, and that even though they are friends again now the fact that Dex will have a wife and child ‘feels a bit like loosing you all over again. Because people with families have different priorities…’ That’s how close they were before.

The sentiment that ‘we grew up together’ is really true, for the both of them. They were very different people throughout their lives, and if they had tried to be a romantic couple earlier there is no guarantee that version of them would have lasted the course.

Would Emma have stayed with a peak-of-his-tv-fame Dex, partying and living life ‘to the full’? Or would they have explosively ended and decided they were too different for one another for it to ever work?

Would Dex have even tried for a career in TV or a full year of travelling if he’d become a couple with Emma after Uni? Or would he have done something else but grown resentful of what-could-have-been?

If they had sorted out their issues and apologised after their fight and Em had left Ian, would Em have found the strength to turn rock bottom into a spring board and finally write her book? Would she have even hit that bottom at all? Or would the hook have remained a pipe dream while she continued as a teacher, happy with Dex but professionally unfulfilled?

We will never know what could have been, and that doesn’t necessarily make those alternatives the ‘better’ option that they ‘missed out on’.

Maybe they would only ever have had 3 years together as a couple and getting it in their mid 30’s the way they did was their most mature and peaceful version.

So yes at times their relationship feels like it’s moving toward the inevitable conclusion of a romantic partnership. But the time before they get there wasn’t wasted or unimportant or unnecessary. And they were always together.

[greymoonfeelings]

You and Me

pairing: Jake Seresin x fem! reader

word count: 0.7k

note: this is a little blurb I’ve had in my drafts forever and I wanted to get it published. I firmly believe Jake says says “give me some sugar” when he wants a kiss and you will not change my mind.

•••

You let out a huff, swirling the ice cubes in your drink around with the plastic straw. With your head in your hand, you watch as Jake celebrates his latest pool victory with his friends. He wasn’t ignoring you on purpose, but he was so wrapped up in the energy of his friends that he had yet to realize you weren’t feeling the same.

After Coyote slaps him on the back, Jake spins around to face you. He looks over to you expectantly, hoping to see you smiling at him, but instead notices the downturn of your lips as you stare down at your drink. Jake excuses himself from his friends before approaching you.

“What's wrong, darlin?” He slides into the booth beside you, throwing an arm around your slumped shoulders.

“Nothing.” You force a smile, not wanting to ruin his fun with your sour mood. Jake cocks his head to the side giving you a knowing look. There is no use lying to him. He has always been able to see right through you.

You sigh in defeat. “I thought tonight would just be us. I love your friends, but we’re with them so much and I miss spending time alone with you.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” His tone is soft, not accusing.

“I didn’t want to sound needy.” You peer down at your drink again, pretending to be interested in the condensation running down this side so you don’t have to look your boyfriend in the eye.

You’re terrified of Jake suddenly deciding that you’re too high maintenance. Maybe he wants a girlfriend who’s more go-with-the-flow and less clingy. Jake is a boisterous and extroverted person, why would he ever want to be with someone who was the exact opposite?

Jake recognizes that look on your face. The one you make when your order comes out wrong but you eat it anyway because you don’t want to be a bother. The one you wear when someone suddenly starts talking over you because they either didn’t realize you were speaking or they just didn’t care. Jake hates that look, hates that you feel like you’re not good enough to take up space.

“There’s no one else I would rather spend time with than you, darlin’. You can always tell me what you’re feeling, you don’t have to hide from me or feel embarrassed.”

“You’re so good to me, Jake. I’m not used to my feelings being considered.”

“Your feelings deserve to be treated with respect and I love you, I always want you to be comfortable.”

“I love you too.”

“Gimme some sugar.” Jake leans in, his lips searching for yours.

“Not here.” You duck away from him, looking around at the crowded bar.

“No one’s looking. They’re all too focused on themselves. C’mon, I missed you too, darling.” Jake whispers reassuringly as he presses kisses to the side of your face.

You take another quick look around the bar before deciding that he’s right. You lean into Jake’s side and press your glossed lips against his.

When you pull away, Jake licks his lips trying to savor the taste of you. “Mm, cherry. My favorite.”

“You’re not supposed to lick it off, weirdo.” You laugh and give your boyfriend a playful shove.

“Let’s get out of here. There’s a carton of ice cream back home with our names written all over it and I may have finally caved and subscribed to Disney Plus.”

Jake wraps his arm around your waist and tucks you against his side. After saying goodbye to his friends, he leads you out into the parking lot, his body warming you against the cool breeze from the ocean.

The two of you spend the remainder of the night curled up in bed sharing the tub of ice cream while your favorite movie plays. Jake makes sure you know just how much he cherishes his time with you. Being alone with just him refills your energy just the way you were hoping it would and you fall asleep feeling even more in love with your man.

[luvhughes43]

don’t have to pretend | blake hughes au

blake hughes au

summary: how blake hughes and nico hischier finally confess their feelings for each other

word count: 4.1k

“Nico, you know you don’t have to keep coming over anymore,” Blake whispered. she had been thinking a lot about their relationship lately, or lack thereof. she didn’t know how much longer she could take being so incredibly infatuated with him but unable to say anything. 

Nico looked confused, like the idea of not coming over to visit Blake was incomprehensible. Blake stared at Nico, waiting for him to respond. she hoped he would say that he wanted to be with her, that he had feelings for her… anything to suggest that he wasn’t just here to make her brothers playing less sloppy. she had watched the games, she knew that Jack was struggling and the reason was probably her. 

“I want to come over,” Nico finally responded, and although that's what Blake wanted to hear it wasn’t as satisfying as she thought it would be. 

They both sat in silence for a moment, drinking hot chocolates out of mugs decorated with little ice skates. “yeah but, if you’re here just because of Jack then-”

“I’m not,” Nico butted in. They both stared at each other. 

“Right well,” Blake was the first to shift away from Nico’s heated gaze, uncomfortable in whatever awkward tension she had just created. 

Nico cursed himself in his mind. She doesn’t want you like that, he kept repeating over and over again. Although, no matter how many times he told himself that Blake wasn’t interested in him, he would still hold out on any string of hope that he had. 

They had really connected over the few months that they had gotten to know each other, and either would be damned if they let that all go to waste. So, they both held on without knowing that the other person felt the exact same way. 

*

“You're going to get cold,” Jack had pointed out to Blake as he picked her up to go out. but of course, she decided against better judgement and had decided to wear her sluttiest top without any form of coverup so that she wouldn’t chicken out.

Jack hadn’t mentioned Blakes tiny top, and so she counted it as a win that his critique came in the form of needing something warm. “Like, I'm seriously not going to give you my jacket when you start complaining,” he continued with the roll of his eyes. 

“If all goes well tonight i won't need your jacket,” Blake had rebutted to Jack's distaste. 

“Yeah well, with your luck you're going to be single forever so I'll be waiting for you to complain about the cold,” Jack teased. 

“Right and… where’s your girlfriend?” Blake played into the sibling banter. “Last I saw your ex was on a lingerie mag and here you are… coming over to your sister's place before going out so she can help you pick out an outfit….” 

“Right, okay I'm done fighting now!” Jack said, lifting his hands up in mock surrender. “But seriously, do these pants match with this top,”

“You're wearing black skinny jeans, anything you wear is going to match, now go!” Blake responded, shooing Jack out of her apartment and into the hallway. She looked at her reflection in the mirror one last time before leaving, making a mental note to put on some more lip gloss in the car. 

“Who are you trying to impress anyway?” Jack had shouted once he and Blake got inside the bar. He was trying to find his teammates among the crowd, but it was no luck.

“None of your business!” she shouted back, catching the boy of her affections eye from across the bar. “Nico’s over there!” she yelled, turning to her brother who was already being pulled into conversation by somebody else. It seemed like fate was on Blake's side as she made long strides over to Nico who was, luckily, alone. 

Nico looked hot, and god… the things Blake wanted to do to him… she should be locked up. 

Blake wasn’t the only one appreciating the view though, because Nico was very clearly checking out his teammate's sister. His eyes trailed down Blakes face and onto her top, and if Blake had noticed him shift in his seat she hadn’t said anything. 

“You look good tonight!” Nico had leaned over so that Blake could hear him through the loud music. Blakes face burned at his comment, and she was glad that the bar's lighting was dim otherwise it would be very obvious that she liked her brother's captain. although, liked seemed like a very meager word when her whole world turned upside down upon seeing his dimples. 

“And you look very handsome!” Blake had turned her head close to his. She was going to need a few drinks if she was going to be this close to him all night. Especially, when all his teammates were here. 

Nicos face lit up with a smile, and Blakes immediately matched it with a bright smile of her own. 

“Sit beside me,” Nico said, pulling out the last empty chair beside him. He was still waiting for his drink. 

Blake easily complied, smoothly sliding the bar stool as close to Nico as was possible without raising suspicions. “So….��� 

“Soo…” Nico copied Blake, both giggling at each other. They were two lovesick fools and yet, they didn’t recognize that the other was also helplessly in love. 

“So, how have you been?” Blake smiled, leaning an elbow onto the bar so that she was even closer to the brown eyed man. She was so down bad…

“I’ve been good, just waiting for a pretty girl to come sit with me, you?” he replied flirtatiously. 

“I’m really good! just waiting for a hot man to order me a drink…” she trailed off, focusing her gaze away from Nico and back to the bar staff.

“What do you want?” he said, already pulling out his wallet. 

A bartender came over to their section, dropping off a cold beer in front of Nico while offering all sorts of apologies for the wait time. He waved the waiter ramblings off, and instead looked towards Blake for her order. 

“A vodka cran,” she told the bartender, “double shot” 

Nico had handed over the cash. 

After some more harmless flirting, Nico led Blake back to the team’s table where she was greeted by everyone. 

“Nice outfit,” one of the boys piped up, eyes trailing down Blakes body. she was wearing some jeans and a tight corset top that pushed her boobs up just right…

“Don’t talk to my sister,” Jack huffed, swatting the guy in the chest. 

At Jack's words, your eyes immediately turned to catch Nico’s who was already staring at you. He looked torn, and before you could make any sort of move to question him he was shuffling chairs and sitting as far away from Jack as was possible. 

All night, Blake had been trying to catch Nico’s attention from down the table. He barely glanced in her direction for the rest of the night, and now she was afraid that when he did she’d start to cry. She felt so pathetic as the other guy's attention fell to her chest, reminding her that the guy she was trying to get wanted nothing to do with her at this moment. 

“I'm going to get another drink,” Blake said as she swirled the ice around in her cup. Jack nodded at her, and then she was walking towards the bar by herself.

Blake let the bartender make her “something special”, and she sat at the bar watching him pour a shit ton of juice and gin into her cup.

“Hey, you new here?” Some guy, blond and skinny sat in one of the many available seats next to Blake.

“uh no i’m not. Is that your opening line?” she huffed, giving the bartender a tip when she finally came back with her drink. Yes, Blake was being rude to the guy but she wanted nothing more than to be alone. Something that was impossible to happen in a bar at 1am. 

“Uh, can I have this dance?” The guy tried to correct himself, and Blake cringed as a mix of two songs from 2010 blared through the bars speakers. 

“No you cant-” Blake said, just as her head turned just enough for her to see a girl approach Nico. she couldn’t make out what they were saying, just that he was smiling in the same way he was earlier.  

“Actually,” Blake corrected herself, and the blond guy turned to his group of friends as if to say “i told you so, girls cant resist my charm…” 

the girl touched Nicos arm… “I’ll dance with you!” Blake forced a smile onto her face, turning back to the bar one last time to take a large swig out of her drink.

The blond guy grabbed her hand, and with a deep breath Blake let herself be dragged onto the dance floor which was coincidentally right beside the table filled with her brother's friends. 

The blond guy, who still didn't have a name, spun Blake around so that her back was against his front. she tried to lean back into him, but it all felt so wrong. 

The guy guided her hips, and her face heated up in shame as her brother's teammates started turning their attention towards her. 

Blake turned herself back around, now facing the guy who brought her to dance. they swayed together for a few more minutes, and as soon as the next song finished Blake was immediately bidding her goodbyes. 

She rushed over to the table, ignoring the blond guy's shouts for her snap. she grabbed her purse from her brother's chair. “Can we please leave Jack,” she practically yelled in his ear. 

he turned to his sister with a look of concern in his eyes. “Did he do something..?” he said, gesturing to the guy from earlier who was now retreating back to his group of friends. 

Blake shook her head. “I think i’m getting a headache,” 

Jack stood up then, waving to his teammates as he bid them all goodbyes. 

Nico had tried to catch Blakes eyes, but she refused to look in his direction.

By the time she and Jack got out to the car, she could feel tears of frustration threatening to fall. She had to keep her head glued to the window so as to not raise any suspicions with Jack, who was well… oblivious to all things that weren't in his direct line of sight. 

“Thanks for driving me home!” her words were rushed as she scrambled out of his car. “I’ll call you in the morning!” 

When her apartment door slammed shut behind her, Blake broke out into quiet sobs. She just wanted the mood from seeing Nico at the bar to continue for the rest of the night. It seemed that despite how hard she tried, nothing would ever come out of whatever she and Nico had going on. 

*

When Blake was 15, she had dated this guy who had lived a few doors down from her. The relationship didn’t last long, but sometimes Blake liked to think about the boy who broke her heart. Usually at night, usually when she was upset, and usually when she had nothing better to do than upset herself with her own life's events.

He had been nice at first, someone Jack had talked to a few times when he was out playing street hockey. She couldn't remember if Ryder had ever joined Jack and her brothers games, but that didn’t matter much anyway. 

What mattered was Blake overhearing him tell his group of friends that the only reason he was dating her was because she was going to compete in the olympics. 

“she’s like, the perfect girlfriend to have,” he had said to his friends. “i never have to see her, she's a champion, and like, I can make out with her and shit whenever i want,”

The last part hurt the most. Ryder was the first guy she had ever kissed and really been with. She didn’t have time to have boyfriends that weren’t always at the rink or the gym. Her seeking out Ryder and being with him was her own little act of deviance. 

Now that she’d gone to enough therapy sessions though, she was sure that the reason she wasn’t upset that he was with her because of her titles was because she wanted to be with herself because of her titles. When she was younger, she was solely defined by her medals. Therefore, it came to no surprise to Blake that her relationships would be defined by her achievements too. 

Anyway, that didn’t stop her crying to her older brother about the whole thing. 

She had bursted through Quinn’s door, tears silently streaming down her face as she fell face first onto his bed. He had brushed her hair from her face, asking her what was wrong. 

“He’s using me,” she had said, and Quinn looked upset enough for the both of them. 

“He’s such a fucking asshole,” he had said, looking at his younger sister with so much pity. “He doesn’t deserve somebody like you,” 

At the time, Blake wasn’t sure what “somebody like you,” had meant. All her life she was defined by her skills, her body, her wins and loses… she wished figure skating and relationships didn’t have to be so difficult. 

She hadn’t seen Ryder again after that. She had made no effort to go and see him, and Blake could’ve sworn she saw him slowly sneaking back inside his house whenever her brothers would go outdoors. 

Now at 20, Blake lays in her bed and reminisces on all the shitty parts of her life with a new lens. She remembers Ryder and how he had used her, her coach and how she forced Blake to compete through injuries, and then her mind turned to Nico. who hadn't necessarily done anything to hurt Blake but his lack of action made her feel pathetic. 

How is it that a man can flirt with you at a bar, make you believe for weeks that he truly likes you, and then refuse to make eye contact with you later? 

Blake’s head spun like one of those spins she used to practice. She had thought of calling Quinn but then what? She had already told him how convinced she was that Nico had liked her. It would just be embarrassing now to have to tell him that now she wasn’t so sure.

So, Blake did what she did best, wallowed in her own self-pity until she eventually drifted off into sleep.

*

A few days later Nico came knocking on Blakes door. She wasn’t surprised to see him, but she had already decided that she shouldn’t talk to him anymore. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come over anymore,” she had told him. She hadn’t let him step through the threshold of her apartment, and she hadn’t changed her mind under his soft gaze. 

“But… Blake?”

“Nico, I'm really busy right now. There's a lot of stuff that i’m going through and I cant handle-”

“You can’t handle hanging out with me?” he had said, voice quiet. 

Blake had to look away from his pointed gaze, wanting nothing more than to just confess her feelings. But if Nico did like her like she thought he did, then his reaction to what Jack had said at the bar a few nights ago just proved to her that a relationship just wouldn't work out. And so, as Blake always does, she prioritised what she thought would end up working in the long run. Instead of pushing through pain to win medals, she was pushing through her feelings for Nico to protect her heart. 

“I’m sorry,” she had whispered to him, gaze falling to the floor when he finally walked away from her. 

*

Nico had thought that he was doing the right thing. Sure, he had let things go too far when he started flirting with Blake at the bar. But come on, she was so gorgeous, and she was exactly the kind of person that he wanted to be with. Forget “kind of person”, Nico thought. She was literally the only person he wanted to see or talk to. 

He thought that maybe he was taking advantage of her in some way. after he had started stopping by her house and visiting, and they had become friends… Jack had started telling him stories of Blakes abusive childhood. He couldn't even imagine growing up in a sport so toxic. And then of course there was her career ending injury, which is the reason behind them even starting to hang out. 

Blake Hughes was vulnerable, she was hurt and she was upset, and Nico wasn’t sure if love was even something she was looking for right now. He felt like he was stepping over some sort of invisible line, and that if Blake didn’t reciprocate his feelings, she wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. 

But he was proven to be right regardless, because Blake wasn’t talking to him and he had no idea why. 

*

blake.hughes added to their story!

The devil’s holiday event was lackluster. Jack had caught the eye of some pretty brunette and so he was off flirting and doing god-knows what. She had hoped that by now that Jack would stop insisting she came to these kinds of events and outings. But Blake guessed watching Titanic every night for the last week counted as a setback in her recovery journey. 

She swirled the drink in her cup, watching mindlessly as couples mingled and talked amongst themselves. This was just getting depressing. 

As the night continued nothing changed. She sat in her spot by the bar, conversing with the bartenders with as limited a vocabulary as possible. If her mother were here, she would definitely be scolding Blake for being rude. 

“You okay?” one of the girlfriends had asked Blake as they waited at the bar for another drink. Blake had nodded respectively, and when that didn’t appease the girl she sighed. 

“Boy troubles, you know?” she laughed, hoping that the awkwardness would be too much and that the girl would take the hint and leave. 

“Hit me,” she had said instead, and so that’s how Blake spent the next 45 minutes explaining to Jesper Bratts girlfriend all the ways in which an anonymous man had shown feelings for her. 

“I mean, it really sounds like he likes you. you know how men are, maybe you should make the first move?” the blonde had replied. 

“But there’s a lot at stake here… this guy is.. Well,”

“Standing over there?” Bratts girlfriend said, pointing to Nico Hischier. He looked gorgeous, and if Blake wasn’t so shocked that she had guessed correctly she probably would have melted to a puddle on the floor. 

Blake fumbled with what to say, opening and closing her mouth pathetically as her gaze moved from Nico to the girl perched in front of her. 

“You guys aren’t very subtle, Blake” she said, patting the girl on the shoulder before launching into strategies in which Blake could “get her man”.

After the talk and another drink, Blake was ready to pour out all of her feelings to Nico because when she really thought about it, could life get anymore awful? she was already never going to be able to figure skate again, and she and Nico weren’t talking… nothing could possibly be worse than this. 

Wrong. 

In the 35 minutes it took for Bratts girlfriend to convince Blake to confess her feelings to Nico, he had moved on. Like, literally moved on from the group of guys he was talking to and onto a far too attractive blonde. 

Life was actually cruel. 

Like they always do, Blake and Nico caught eyes, and before he could make a move to come talk to her she was pushing past people to get towards the exit. She’d text Jack that she left when she was far, far, away from this cursed event. 

*

Blake had just taken off her heels and pulled the backs of her earrings off when loud knocks echoed off her front door. 

“Jack, I literally told you I was going home. I’m fine!” she stressed, yanking open the door without really looking at who was standing outside. 

“It’s not Jack,” Nico’s voice was soft. Blake paused where she was standing, slowly turning so that she was face to face with the man of the last few weeks… Nico. 

He looked even better up close. His beard was shaven, tie a little loose. He was her weakness if that kind of thing even mattered anymore. 

“Nico,” she had breathed out, like she hadn’t imagined a single possibility in which he could be standing right in front of her. The weeks had seemed that long. Like there was no possibility that he’d still be waiting for her. 

“Blake,” he sighed, walking into the apartment and shutting the door softly behind him.

“I really like you, you know that right?” she admitted. “Like, every time I'm with you I feel so calm and yet so overwhelmed with the idea that you were made for me?”

Nico didn’t have a chance to react before Blake continued saying her thoughts out loud. “Whenever I'm near you I get butterflies and I've never felt that way about anyone before. You're, youre so different to anyone I've ever known. And I know that you're Jack's captain and that I'm his sister and that could make things really awkward for you but I really don't care! Because I like you and Jack’s just going to have to get over that when the time comes,”

“I bought your jersey! I don't even own my twins jersey!” she continued, pulling out her phone from her small shoulder bag. She flicked it open, pulling up her duolingo streak. “And Duolingo! I have Duolingo to try and learn Swiss German!” 

“Nico, if you don't feel the same way that's fine. I'm so sorry for thinking there was something between us,” Blake began apologizing, dropping the phone to her side as she started to calm down from the shocks of the evening. 

“I have a notes app filled with all of your favourite things,” he interrupted Blakes ramblings. 

“When I'm missing you, I make two portions of my dinner and bring some over to you as an excuse to see you. When Jack told me I didn’t have to come over to visit with you anymore, I was upset. My first thought was that I really liked you and that I didn't want whatever we have going on to end,”

“you liked me?” Blake spoke, her timid voice breaking through Nico’s speech.

“I still like you,” he responded, and not a second later was Blake’s purse falling to the ground as her hands wound themselves around Nico’s neck. 

He grabbed her by her waist, fingers dancing over the small of her back as he brought her into a passionate kiss. 

By the time they realized what they were doing, Blake was backing Nico into her room. “Are you sure?” he whispered, breaking away from their heated make out session to rest his forehead against hers. 

“I need you,” she was basically whimpering, but Nico paid that no attention as he slowly started sliding the straps of her dress down her shoulders. 

“You're gorgeous,” he whispered, trailing kisses from her lips all the way down to her cleavage. 

Blake moaned, gripping onto Nicos hair as the both of them sunk down onto her plush bed. 

*

In the morning, Blake woke up to her and Nico cuddling. Blake ran her hands lightly through his hair, all of last night's events rushing back to her with pleasure. 

Nico groaned when he finally came to, head moving against Blakes shoulder as he tried to shield himself from the light that was shining through her curtains. He placed a few soft kisses onto her shoulder before snuggling closer to her.

She set one of her legs over his, and then allowed him to pull her as close to him as possible. 

They would discuss the nature of their relationship later. but now, all the two cared about was spending as much time with one another as possible before life got in the way. They went back to sleep peacefully, knowing that they don't have to pretend anymore.

[martiniblues]

girls like girls, like boys do ; ellie williams

pairing bff!ellie williams x female!reader

synopsis you and ellie have been bestfriends for all of your teenage years. while you bounced around from boy to boy, ellie was left to pine over you alone. little did she know that, all along, the only person you wanted was her.

genre slight violence (blood, fighting, arguments), mentions of weed and alcohol, homophobia both internal and harassment, lots of fluff, loosely based off of the girls like girls music video by hayley kiyoko!

wc 3.9k (i got carried away)

“come on, ellie stop being a hog!” you reached for the glassy object resting between your best friend's legs. her hands wrapped around the base tightly despite her intoxicated state, making your fight even more difficult.

the two of you sat perched on your bathroom counter, your smooth legs lying across ellie’s jean-clad knees. her typical jean and opened short-sleeve button-up combo paled in comparison to your short floral skirt and white top. many couldn’t believe how close you and ellie were. her being known as the “school’s lesbian” and you being known as the "all-star cheerleading captain” didn’t put the two of you in the same crowds at all, but you couldn’t imagine your life without her there to constantly annoy you. as she was doing now.

“i’m not a hog! just don’t want you to get too fucked up.” her head lolled to the side, looking at you through an intoxicated gaze. her freckled cheeks grew flushed under the low lights of the bathroom while her eyes continued to sparkle as they always did, just now tinted red and droopy.

“says the one who can hardly keep her head up.” you argued before finally grasping the colorful bong in between your manicured fingers. to your surprise, ellie didn’t snap back, only igniting her purple lighter and helping you pull.

ellie couldn’t help but eye you as your glossed lips kissed the top, your pretty lashes brushing against the tops of your cheeks as you closed your eyes contently. you could feel her eyes practically burning holes into your head, opening one eye to peek at her as you pulled away to inhale completely.

ellie noticed the smile pulled on your closed lips before she realized you had caught her completely checking you out. “something bothering you, els?” you questioned as you blew the smoke out from between your lips.

she looked away to stare at your patterned shower curtain. the same one the two of you sat against most nights you spent together doing the same things you were doing now.

ellie had liked you for a long time. she couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t completely enamored by you; whether it was platonic or not, she always loved you. maybe it was the way you two had been spending more time together or the fact you decided to be alone with her than at your party that made her heart lurch in her throat and beg to escape in the form of a confession, but something had shifted.

you two had smoked together plenty of times, but recently her stomach erupted into butterflies at the somewhat “kiss” you two exchanged while sharing joints or passing your bong between the two of you.

you two had changed in front of each other all the time, but recently she couldn’t help but turn and dip her head when she saw you reach for the hem of your blouse to change into your pajamas. even more so when you insisted on wearing one of her lousy band tees instead of your own since hers were “so much more comfy."

“els? what’s up?” your soft hand met the smooth skin of her wrist, breaking her from her daydream. “o-oh… it’s nothing. just dazed out, i guess.” she pulled away to scratch the back of her neck sheepishly, breaking the contact between you two.

you furrowed your brows in confusion. ellie had never been this awkward with you, especially when she’s high. sure, she wasn’t the most poetic with her words, but you never felt awkward with her. ever.

you observed her as her eyes scattered across your bathroom, beginning to grow embarrassed and worried about what was going on in her mind that you couldn’t quite seem to read at the moment.

you had never cared how ellie perceived you, knowing she liked you no matter what. recently, though, you cared a lot about how ellie saw you. when you’d get ready, you'd think about what ellie liked. remembering she always complimented when you wore skirts, those are what you reached for that week and tonight. you wanted her to think of you as you did of her.

you couldn’t help the uproar of thoughts that spun around your head like a curse, screaming to be spoken. “you wanna go back out there? dina should be here by now, and we should greet her.” you hopped off the counter, turning to face ellie, who still sat in place.

she finally averted her gaze to you at the sound of your voice, her eyes visibly softening as they connected with yours. “you… you look really pretty tonight.” she stuttered slightly, trying her best not to break eye contact. it was always so hard for her to look at you without melting into a puddle beneath her feet.

you blushed, instantly taken aback by her words. you leaned forward, placing both hands on the granite countertop beside ellie’s leg. “you look really pretty too, els.” you looked up at her slightly, the counter having given her height she didn’t have when she stood next to you.

you don’t know if it was all your feelings towards ellie or the weed in your system that led you to be so bold in the moment, but she just made it so hard.

you had many boyfriends in the past. all of them falling lower and lower onto your “tier of dickheads” (ellie’s nickname for every one that broke your heart) as they came and went.

you had grown up with the idea that you had to date boys. it’s all you saw, and it’s all you've ever known. you knew gay people existed, but you never mentioned them as much as you knew the consequences. many people in your town grew up the same way as you did, believing being straight was “normal” or even “acceptable” for someone to be.

you knew you should have liked it when your boyfriend kissed you, but you just couldn’t. kissing and touching just seemed to be a requirement in the realm of dating. sure, some of them were nice, but you liked to just be able to hang out without their tongue shoved down your throat just because you were their girlfriend.

when you met ellie and found out she was gay, your view of her didn’t change; she was still ellie. most people stuck up their noses at you or called you “crazy” but you wouldn’t trade their fake tans and cheep perfume for ellie any day.

to your own defense, it wasn’t ellie who made you realize you liked girls. you had always found girls pretty—prettier than your friends ever expressed. you always found yourself staring at the victoria secret ads in the mall for far too long just because they were "pretty".

even if ellie wasn’t the girl who made you realize you liked girls, she was definitely the girl you liked.

“i see her as more than a friend,” you continued to tell yourself as you began to doubt yourself in the late hours of the night. the internalized homophobia ate you alive at any chance you get to have alone, but in this moment with her in the bathroom, all the doubts faded into knowing. you knew how you felt.

you don’t know how long you and ellie stared at each other or when the two of you began to slowly lean in, but a loud bang on the door interrupted the peaceful moment.

“dude, hurry up! this bitch is about to puke!” you shoved your bong into the cabinet beneath the sink before opening the door to reveal two of your classmates clearly drunk beyond repair.

“oh my god, okay, okay!” you yelled at the barely recognizable faces as you reached behind yourself to grab ellie’s hand and pull her out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

ellie held onto your hand tightly as you weaved between sweaty bodies and crowded groups amongst your home. thankfully, everyone was too drunk or high to even notice you and ellie holding hands and walking so closely.

you felt a tug on your wrist as you rounded an empty corner nestled between your kitchen and the front door. you turned to see ellie smiling at you softly. “where are we going?” she asked as you dropped her hand. a faint pout appeared on her lips.

“honestly,” you began as you leaned against the wall to stare ahead at her. “i have no idea. i just wanted to get away from that bathroom before i got puke on my skirt.” you huffed, annoyed that you and ellie’s quiet moment had to be interrupted by someone who couldn’t handle their drinks.

ellie laughed at your words, turning her body so she leaned next to you against the wall. “of course your only concern is if your clothes get dirty.” she laughed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

you looked down at her with fake shock. ellie always liked to pick at your very feminine actions. curling your hair, doing your makeup, tying bows in your hair—she liked to tease you for these things even if she watched in complete awe as you did them.

“you know i don’t mean it; c'mere, i'm all alone down here.” her cold hand wrapped around the skin of your calf, urging you to sit next to her. you had to swallow the scream, which threatened to spill from her hand practically burning into your soul.

you sat down, knees bumping softly, to end up resting against another. maybe it was the weed in your system, but every sense was enhanced by a thousand. the rough fabric of her jeans against your exposed skin made your body ignite with goosebumps. her toned arm brushing against yours made your chest light on fire.

“how would you feel if someone puked on your clothes?” you argued in an attempt to cool yourself down. anything to distract yourself from the overwhelming feelings churning in your stomach.

“this isn’t about me, princess.” she nudged you with her shoulder, making your body fall over slightly. you sat up and pushed her roughly, but her body hardly budged, causing a smirk to appear on her lips once again.

“you’re such a dick,” you scoffed, turning your back towards her as if you’re a toddler getting denied a toy from the store. ellie laughed at your childish antics, reaching out to grab your shoulder and make you turn around, but you just shrugged her off.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please forgive me.” she begged, moving closer to try and face you again. even if you were pretending, ellie hated when you were mad at her (fake or not) more than anything.

you could see her auburn hair from the corner of your eye, causing you to turn your head slightly to side-eye her. "mhmm," you hummed before looking away again.

without another word, ellie grabbed your shoulder tightly and pulled herself away, so she now sat beside you. leaving you nowhere else to look but at her, which, evidently, was more than a difficult task.

“are you really upset with me?” even with the low lighting, you could still see the genuine concern in her eyes. you were shocked by her, only able to shake your head “no” with a small smile creeping onto your lips.

strands of her short hair hung perfectly messy in her face as they fell from her small knot on the back of her head. her lips looked softer than any sweater blanket that ever touched your body, and her hand on your shoulder felt warmer than the most perfect summer day.

you couldn’t take it anymore. you didn’t want to just look at her and imagine doing all the things you wanted to anymore. you needed them to happen before you exploded into nothing but ellie-shaped confetti.

“ellie-“

“y/n-“

you both flushed at the silliness of it all. here, the two of you sat completely infatuated with each other, cheeks pink and eyes in the shape of hearts, but still doubted if the other felt the same.

“can i kiss you?” ellie asked smoothly, catching you off guard at how easily it fell from her lips. ellie instantly panicked at the shocked expression on your face. she immediately scooted away and began apologizing. “i’m sorry… i-i don’t even know why i asked.”

“ellie,” you tried to calm her down as she began frantically searching for a way to ease the situation. you couldn’t watch her make a mess of herself over something you wanted her so badly to do.

“ellie.” you reached out and grabbed her face softly with one hand while the other came to rest on her knee. her face fell from concern to an unreadable expression. a mix between content and confusion.

you leaned in slowly, watching as her eyes quickly looked all over your face, trying to understand if this was real life or just a figment of her intoxicated imagination.

your nose bumped against hers, making you look into her eyes. “can i kiss you?” you exhaled, anxiously awaiting her reply. “please…” she breathed before you placed your lips softly against hers.

there was hardly any movement aside from both of your chests expanding and shrinking from letting go of held breaths and breathing in bigger and better ones as your lips connected. it was soft and short, ending before either of you could make another move.

“i really like you, ellie,” you confessed as your lips parted with a soft smack. “i’ve never liked someone like this before.” you continued, searching her eyes for a reply that she failed to give.

it’s like a switch flipped at your words. ellie reached up to hold the back of your head with her free hand, letting out a quick “thank god” before smashing her lips against yours.

this time, the kiss was heavy and felt less like a trial and more like a confession. her lips moved eagerly against yours, but they were not messy in the slightest. your hand pushed further up her cheek, leaving your thumb to brush against the freckles that littered her skin as the rest of your fingers knotted into her soft strands.

her hand, which lay beneath yours, maneuvered so that your fingers were interlocked tightly, squeezing ever so slightly to try and add emphasis to her feelings towards you.

you squeezed back, making her smile against your lips before tilting her head to kiss you deeper than before.

“what the fuck?” a deep voice pulled you and ellie apart quickly, making you stand up and face the group of people who now looked at you and ellie with mixed faces. most were shocked, while others held a look of disgust, especially the one in the front, which belonged to none other than your most recent ex-boyfriend.

“oh, so we broke up, and now you’re gay?” he gestures his arm out to ellie, who now stands behind you. more people flocked towards the commotion, making you and ellie the center of attention.

“that’s not…” you tried to argue, but you couldn’t think of something to say that could ease the situation. “what? no wonder you were always such a tease,” he began, walking and stalking towards you. his face grew increasingly red with anger.

“always leading me on and leaving me to fix my shit myself because you wanted to get with a homo? you wanna fuck her like a fucking fa-“ his words were cut off as ellie swung at his chiseled face, making you jump and cover your mouth to avoid screaming.

he stumbled at ellie’s force and grabbed his cheek, which began to turn pink with irritation from ellie’s blow. “oh wow, now you have your little girlfriend to defend you.” he laughed darkly as he looked between you and ellie with pure venom in his gaze.

before ellie or you could form a rebuttal, he swung at her face, resulting in an eruption of “oohs” from the crowd of people observing all around.

“ellie!” you screamed, attempting to help her as an arm wrapped around your shoulders, restricting you. your head turned to reveal dina behind you, preventing your attempted move.

“what are you doing?” you yelled at her as your ex and ellie began hitting each other over and over.

“don’t, just don’t. let’s get out of here.” she spoke into your ear as you watched and pulled on her arms, which held you firmly.

“ellie stop! please stop! someone make it stop!” you continued to scream as you watched the fight increase in severity as the seconds went by.

you didn’t want to watch, but you couldn’t look away. with every swing he made, ellie made three, which filled you with some sort of relief before he did just as many hits back.

you clawed at dina’s arms, not caring if you hurt her, as you watched ellie get hurt by someone you claimed to even like. it made you want to puke.

“you think you can take her from me?” your ex growled as he swung at ellie, which she thankfully dodged. she laughed, wiping her bloodied knuckles on her white undershirt. “didn’t have to take what was already mine.” she sneered back, punching him once more directly in the nose.

you couldn’t help but gasp at her words. if it were any other situation, you would feel flattered, but in the moment, all you felt was fear. that had to have struck a nerve.

“you think you’re so funny, huh?” he muttered as blood trickled from his nose and into his mouth, painting his teeth red. “i mean, she sure thinks so.” ellie tried to bite back the nasty comment, but she was so completely enraged that he could even think to speak of you the way he did.

more shouts and whistles erupted from the crowd, ultimately showing their approval of ellie’s comment, even if they didn’t side with her entirely or even at all.

this just fueled his anger more, making him push ellie to the floor and punch her with much more force than he originally had. the sight made you grow silent in fear. you wanted to scream, but the pure shock in your veins rendered you mute.

your fight against dina’s arms only grew as you watched ellie face and body get repeatedly hit. “stop, please fucking stop.” you finally yelled as more and more people cheered and hollered without a care.

with one last tug, you finally freed yourself from dina’s grip and lurched towards the boy who continued to swing on ellie. you were never one with muscles, but some sort of strength took over you as you pulled his body off of ellie and into the wall.

you hit his stupid face over and over, so consumed with anger that you failed to notice dina rush to ellie’s side and pull her up. you couldn’t focus on anything but hurting this boy just as much as he had hurt you, and that included ellie.

you didn’t know how many hits you got or when the crowd began to disperse, but a firm grip on your waist removed you from the boy and planted you on the ground.

“come on, man, let’s get out of here!” a deep voice rang in your head, along with many other loud voices chanting to leave. your vision was blurry with tears, unable to make out any sort of movement, and all you could hear was a dull ring muffling the multitude of shouting voices.

all you felt were the cool tiles on the kitchen floor beneath your thighs and the hard wall behind your head before you felt a familiar hand grab your face.

“y/n are you okay? god, please tell me you’re okay.” ellie’s voice fell into your ears clearly, her soft thumb coming up to wipe the tears that began to spill from your eyes. you couldn’t form any words; you just reached out to grab her as tightly as you could.

feeling her skin on yours felt like a breath of fresh air, drowning out all your doubts knowing she was here and with you.

“i’m so sorry. i’m so fucking sorry.” you cried into her shirt, bunching some of her flannel into your bloody fist as you clawed at her back while you sobbed. “it’s not your fault.” ellie pulled your face back to look at you.

with your eyes finally coming into focus, you took in the multiple cuts and bruises scattered across her pretty face. her lip had a large gash on the side, along with her temple and cheek.

“don’t worry, he looks a whole lot worse.” she joked, trying to ease your visible worry. you laughed at her ability to joke at a time like this.

she wasn’t far off when she said you thought she was funny…

you grazed her wounds softly, not wanting to hurt her even more than she already was. "well, that’s good. i’d have to chase after him again if he weren’t,” you teased, your hand coming down to interlock with hers, which rested on your thigh.

you sat in silence, not knowing what to say. your house sounded a lot quieter; the only sound were voices coming in from outside and the humming of cars driving off.

“didn’t know you had that strength in you, pretty girl. where was all that when we were helping joel move boxes huh?” ellie joked yet again, making you roll your eyes.

“shut up.” you groaned before kissing her, doing your best to not hurt the cut on her lip. she kissed you back as if the cut were nonexistent, grabbing your waist under your battered shirt to pull you closer to her.

your knees came to rest on either side of one of her legs, letting yourself hover above her as you disconnected your lips from hers. this time, she just looked at you, waiting for you to speak.

“so… should we make his words come true?” you questioned her, toying with one of the buttons on her shirt. ellie looked at you quizzically, unsure of what you were implying.

you just grabbed her face for what felt like the thousandth time and kissed her quickly. “you’re so fucking cute.” you giggled at her, still confused. she grabbed your wrist, “trying” to pull your hands off her face.

“do you want to be my girlfriend?” you asked, ridded of any anxieties or doubts. she instantly erupted into giggles, pulling you into her and hugging you as tight as she could without bothering her hurt side.

“to think i had this whole plan to ask you out, and here you are asking me if i want to be your girlfriend after i just fought for your love.” ellie joked, rubbing your sides firmly as you pulled away and looked at her with nothing but shock.

“a plan? now you have to tell me, els.” you tilted your head to peer at her through squinted lids. she just shook her head and grazed one of her hands up your back to rest behind your head and rake through your hair.

“maybe tomorrow..." she drawled before connecting your lips once again, a content sigh leaving both of your lips in satisfaction.

“yeah, the explanation can wait.” you breathed, locking your lips with hers again.

notes first ellie and tlou fic AHHHH!!! i’ve wanted to write some ellie works for a long time but just haven’t had any inspo until recent hehe so here that. sorry it’s so long and not my best work, i just love this song w her and my ellie obsession has hit an all time High recently lol. anyway i hope you enjoyed!!<33

[dimmadoome]

I am nothing if not a details oriented person. I like to suss them out. I like to see the whole picture so I can paint one myself and of course, I've been looking at the picture of Cooper Howard.

Here are a few things I've noticed. As I've stated before, Cooper is wearing the same outfit as he was in the begging of the show. That blue, white and yellow cowboy outfit. His signature outfit. That's still there, hidden underneath the dirt and the grime and the old, ratty coat, leather vest and bandolier. You can see it in the details of the shirt and the silhouette of the hat. That has been discussed so I'm glossing over that.

Another thing I've noticed is his voice. Specifically his accent. The Ghoul and Cooper Howard have a different accent. Cooper is subdued. He's a regular man with a regular voice. Sure there is a bit if a drawl to it, but not the way The Ghoul has one. Anyone from the south knows what a real southern accent is and what a fake one is. The Ghoul uses a fake one. A larger than life one. That old Hollywood John Wayne fakeass accent. Sure his voice is more fried and that could thicken up an accent some, but that doesn't mean his accent would get more pronounced like THAT.

He's acting the part of The Ghoul. Probably to protect himself in this hellscape that he has been living in for centuries. Its clear that The Ghoul is not who he really is. Its a persona to be slapped over his real one to keep him safe so he can get to his family. I can't wait to see the next season when Lucy and her gung ho, be a good person attitude starts to rub at him more and peel back his layers to press into the soft underbelly underneath. Wether or not he wants to acknowledge it, (which he does. He knoes it already, said it already.) She's his mirror into who he truly is. He might corrupt her to keep her safe (evidenced by the fact that when he cut off her finger, she was given a rotten one in its stead) but she will be the one to pull him back from the brink of losing himself. (It was HER finger he sewed onto himself after all. Her pristine, beautiful smoothskin finger.)

I could also say the arc between Cooper's prewar self becoming disenchanted with vault tec/being betrayed by his wife juxtaposed by Lucy's arc of finding her dad/learning how he betrayed her mom and the world is also a pretty serious mirror as well.

I just.... I've got a lot of feels about Cooper and the symbolism that went into him, plus how he and Lucy are pretty clearly mirrors of eachother. I love it all and I'm gonna need more of this injected right into my brain hole. I need to lick the walls of that studio because HOLY SHIT this show has so much love and care put into everything it does.

[ch3rrytales]

i couldn’t be more in love - steve harrington

a/n: hi! here’s a lil angsty steve one shot for y’all (unedited) this is my first time writing steve so please be gentle with me. requests are currently open. thanks for reading and as always all support and criticism is extremely appreciated! hope you enjoy, lots of love - florie <3

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: steve’s fears of not being good enough for you cause him to end your four year relationship and leave you heartbroken. even though he tries his best to move on and let you go, his undeniable need to protect you results with you in his bed at the end of a night out.

word count: 7.8k

warning(s): cursing, crying, drinking, mention of weed, parental pressure, throwing up, angst, mentions of insecurity about self worth, smut, no use of y/n, steve and reader are 19/20.

“Ignore it.” Robin said, pushing an overflowing red solo cup into your hand, lukewarm beer sloshing over the rim to drip down your arm. 

You shot her a glare and huffed, “I’m trying to.” 

She stepped in front of you, blocking your line of vision to who you had been staring daggers at in the corner of the room. 

Steve Harrington. Your ex-boyfriend. Your twin flame. Your soulmate. The love of your life. 

And her. His new fling. 

They had been going at it for the past 5 minutes, they hadn’t even stopped to catch their breath. 

You could remember when you and Steve were like that, attached at the hip, disgustingly affectionate. 

You weren’t even sure when you had stopped being like that. All you knew was that three weeks ago he had sat you down, taken your hands in his own, eyes glossy, and said the words you had hoped you would never have to hear from his mouth. 

“I think it’s time we go our separate ways.”

The second he said it you felt something inside of you drop, trickle all the way down to the tips of your toes and onto the floor, it’s absence leaving your whole body cold. When you and Steve started dating, a comfort that you had never been familiar with before found a home in you and put you at ease for the first time in your life. When you were with him your head and heart were so full of love that any familial or personal pressures that typically plagued you were forced out, there was no more room for them. Your parents overbearing wishes and your perpetual fear of failure were overpowered by his sheer admiration of you, it had always been said that you were destined for greatness in all your endeavors, but Steve never really wanted greatness, he only wanted you. Until he didn’t. 

Now you watched them and fought to ignore the pain stabbing into your heart. While his hands roamed over her body you thought back to a better time, a sweeter time. 

- - - 

Steve slung his arm around your shoulders as you walked past a group of football players who were passing around a poorly made bong on the front porch. They shouted various greetings to your socially esteemed boyfriend who returned their welcome with a nonchalant wave of his hand. 

You tilted your head to speak into his ear as you passed through the front door. 

“Whose house is this again?” 

“You remember Jimmy? I introduced you two at my house last week.”

“Right.” you remembered, one of Steve’s teammates from basketball. “And you’re sure it’s okay that I came, you know without an invitation?” 

Steve’s lips twisted up into a lazy smirk and he couldn’t help himself from pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek. 

“You’re my plus one, baby. Course it’s okay.” 

As you made your way through the party you tried not to feel intimidated by the amount of people flocking to your boyfriend, guys pulling him into half assed hugs, and girls pressing into him, their glossed lips wrapping around sultry hellos. 

Steve didn’t seem to pay it any mind, he kept his arm wrapped tightly around your waist ushering you through the crowd until you had reached the drink table in the center of the kitchen. He lifted you up so you sat in front of him atop the counter and shuffled his way between your thighs. 

“Whaddya drinking?” he crooned, smooth as always. 

“Dunno.” you mumbled, lost in the way his eyes burned into you. 

“You want something sweet, honey?” he teased, his hands finding a home just above your knees. 

You nodded dumbly as his fingertips traveled up and dipped just under the hem of your skirt. 

“Me too.” he agreed and laughed softly, motioning to his lips with the point of his finger. “Lay it on me.” 

You pecked him once leaving your cheeks warm and he hummed contently against you before pulling away. 

“Alright, now that we’ve got that sorted. How bout a shirley temple?” 

He started pouring soda and grenadine into a cup of ice, dumping in two shots of vodka to finish it off while you watched, your feet lazily swinging from where they hung above the ground. 

“Cherry on top?” he asked, pulling a jar of maraschino cherries from the door of the fridge. 

“Please.” you replied, sticky sweet. 

“Well fuck.” he scoffed, twisting the lid off. “I’d cut my right arm off if you asked like that, honey.” 

- - - 

You were slowly nursing your second drink of the night and had no desire for a third. In all honesty what you really wanted to do was walk home and hide in your bed but you knew that wouldn’t be happening, Robin wouldn’t allow it. 

She had practically dragged you from your tear soaked sheets and forced you into the little red skirt and matching cropped angora sweater you had bought impulsively as a post breakup gift for yourself. 

“You really need to get out.” she said while you begrudgingly swiped mascara through your lashes, just a few hours earlier. 

“I’m not ready yet, Robs.” you complained, turning in your vanity chair to face her. “What if he’s there? What if he’s with that girl?” 

“That girl” being Donna, a stunning hair stylist who worked at the salon across from Family Video. Robin had been keeping you filled in on their budding romance since it began, how she had come in one Tuesday and slid a gum wrapper scribbled with her number across the counter with her perfectly polished nails while Steve was helping her checkout. He had taken her out that weekend and they had been seeing each other casually since. 

Robin threw a fashion magazine she was flipping through on your bed to the floor, “Who cares? You know I love you and I wouldn’t want to say anything to upset you while you’re-” she paused to grimace at the pile of soggy tissues covering your nightstand. “...fragile. But, obviously he’s moved on and it’s killing me to see you still stuck on him when you’re so clearly out of his league.” 

You stared at her blankly, “I’m out of his league?” 

“Duh! This is Steve Harrington we’re talking about, I once watched him have a 20 minute “lightsaber duel” with Henderson using a mop.” 

You scrunched your nose trying to hide the fact that you found that incredibly endearing and not at all dorky before you responded, “Yet he’s the one who dumped me.” 

She sighed in full dramatics flinging her head off the end of your bed so she was staring at you upside down, “Exactly! What kind of a dingus would do that?” 

You frowned at yourself in the mirror before powdering your nose for the third time, “Someone who’s moving on to better things.” 

“I call bullshit.” she declared. “How does it get better than you? Once you get yourself all pretty and a couple of drinks in your system you’ll forget who Steve Harrington even is.” 

“Doubtful.” you retorted. 

Robin came behind you, her expression pitiful as it reflected in your mirror. “But, would it kill you to try?” she asked hopefully. 

You shrugged and swiped a cherry scented gloss across your lips, “It might.” you said honestly. “But, I guess I’ve got nothing left to lose.” 

Robin beamed at you through the mirror and smacked a kiss to the top of your head before practically skipping to the other side of your bedroom. 

“Well, then hurry.” she said, pulling her pin-covered denim jacket over her shoulders. “We leave in 10.” 

Now that you were at the party, staring at the person you loved more than anything in the world with his tongue down another girl's throat, you realized you did have something to lose, the contents of your stomach. 

You turned to Robin, who was beside you eyeing a girl who had come into Family Video last week in search of any Molly Ringwald movie she could get her hands on. 

“I think I’m gonna yack.” you whispered. 

“What?” she questioned. “You’ve hardly had anything to drink.” 

“It’s not the alcohol making me queasy.” you replied, gesturing to Steve and Donna pressed against the wall opposite to you. 

“I thought I told you to ignore him?” she said, still slightly distracted.

“Easier said than done.” 

She took a moment to look at you, her best friend. It honestly hurt her to see you so down on yourself. All she wanted was for you to have a good time after weeks of sobbing in her arms and isolating yourself in your room. She looked around the room until her gaze fell upon a beefy blonde eyeing you from the beer pong table. 

“You wanna play a game of pong?” she said, gesturing to the table. 

“Not really.” you replied, your eyes unmoving from Steve’s back. 

“Too bad.” she decided, tugging you behind her. 

“Robinnn” you complained, following her. 

When the two of you reached the table the blonde in question sauntered over to you, drinking you in with his stare. 

“You girls up for a game?” he shouted over the music. 

You shook your head timidly while Robin replied, “Absolutely.” 

The boy pulled you into his side with an arm around your back and spoke into your ear, “You’re on my team, babe.” 

You looked helplessly to Robin who only nodded and mouthed to you, “Go for it.” 

“You got a partner?” he asked her. She looked around and shrugged. 

You turned your focus to reorganizing the scattered cups on the table into a pyramid, your head shooting up when your new partner’s voice cut through the room. 

“Harrington!” he called. “Come play, we need another person.” 

Robin’s eyes widened as she tried to assess what the quickest escape for you would be. 

But Steve was faster, approaching the table with Donna under his arm still unaware of your presence. 

He saw Robin first, her face red and eyes locked on yours. Then he focused his attention on the man beside you who once again pulled you close and then spoke, “It’s you and her against me and this pretty thing.” 

Then Steve saw you, your cheek mushed against the blonde douche’s shoulder, bottom lip wobbling as you suffocated in the unexpected eye contact. 

Donna leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made his jaw clench and he shooed her back gently with the wave of his hand. 

“Sorry, bud.” he said, eyes unmoving from yours. “Not interested.” 

As quickly as he was there he was gone.

You were seconds away from crumpling to the ground when Robin pulled you from the man’s arms. 

“Fuck,” she said, her hands on your shoulders. “I’m sorry, I had no idea he was coming over here.” 

You shook your head, dismissing her apologies. “It’s not your fault, I just-” your voice cracked and you looked at her wordlessly. “He didn’t even acknowledge me.” 

She frowned and pulled you into a hug, “He’s a massive idiot.” 

“Are we still playing?” The blonde asked, dumbfounded. 

“Sorry, but fuck off.” Robin replied, before walking towards the kitchen, arms still wrapped around you. “We’re taking shots. Lots of them.” 

“I’m not in the mood.” 

Robin pulled a bottle of vodka from the many assorted liquors lined up on the table in front of you. 

“Y’know how they say the best way to get over someone is to get under them?” she asked, already pouring the shots. 

You nodded weakly. 

She shoved the tiny glass into your hand, “That’s a lie.” she declared. “The best way to get over someone is to get absolutely shit faced.” 

You recalled Steve’s expression when he saw you, it was cold, not exactly unbothered but withdrawn. You recalled her hands on him, her lips brushing the shell of his ear, and her words affecting him. 

You slung the glass back, the liquid bringing a welcome burn to the back of your throat. Then you took another. Then another. Then another. 

Within the hour you were somewhat distracted from your heartache. You and Robin were squished together on a couch with Nancy and Jonathan, all giggling drunkenly in response to the story Jonathan was sharing of an encounter he had with an inebriated pizza delivery boy the week prior. 

You had lost count of your drinks and your head was feeling increasingly heavy to hold up, making your neck ache. You didn’t really mind the pain, in fact you welcomed it, this pain was much easier to manage then the dull throbbing kind that had been tormenting your heart. Your head fell back against the cushion behind you and you felt as if the world was spinning off its axis beneath you. Your elbow dug into Robin’s side making her groan in annoyance. The lights in the room started to overwhelm you and a wave of nausea washed over you. 

“Robin,” you mumbled, eyes squeezing shut. 

“Hm?” she hummed in response, her head lolling to the side. 

“M’gonna be sick.” 

“Now?” 

You swallowed thickly and shakily rose to your feet. “Right now.” you confirmed. You started pushing past people in pursuit of the bathroom, you could hear Robin behind you faintly. 

“Coming,” she said. “Slow down, I'm right behind you.” 

You ran up the stairs, as fast as you could in your current state, hands clawing the railing for balance. You stumbled through the hallway, checking behind you when you had reached what you hoped to be the bathroom door only to realize you had lost Robin along the way. 

Your clammy hands turned around the knob and your body fell limp against the door as it swung open, fluorescent light invading your eyes. You dropped to your knees and shoved the door shut behind you, too nauseous to attempt locking it. Your hands shook as they gripped the toilet pushing up the seat before heaving roughly into the bowl. 

Your eyes squinted shut as your head pounded, the music playing from downstairs was slightly shaking the foundation of the house and you were suddenly longing to be carried away and tucked into your bed. 

You thought of Steve, not whoever it was you encountered downstairs. But your Steve, the one who would give you piggyback rides from the bar to where his car was parked blocks away when your feet hurt. The one who sat criss-cross applesauce on Nancy Wheeler’s bathroom floor with you in his lap, peppering your shoulders with kisses when you got too drunk last New Year’s Eve. 

You brought the back of your hand to your mouth wiping roughly, your cheeks were wet with tears. You must’ve been sitting there for at least fifteen minutes, thoughts lingering on the past. When had you even started crying? You tore at the toilet paper roll beside you and balled up a sizable portion, you wiped at your eyes furiously, disregarding the mascara that was surely staining your face. 

What a mess. 

You shuddered at the thought of Steve seeing you like this, messy and broken and crumpled on the floor. You wondered what he would think, if he would feel sorry or just sorry for you. 

As if the universe were playing some sort of cruel joke on you, while the thought floated around your head you heard the door unlatch and when you reluctantly followed the sound you saw him standing above you like some sort of awful miracle. 

He looked shocked first, not expecting anyone to be in the room, but then the guilt washed over his face and you knew he had realized what he really walked into. 

“Fuck, hon-.” he stuttered, his hands reaching out instinctively. 

The half murmured term of endearment felt like a punch in the gut and you physically winced as he approached you. 

His eyes filled with hurt at the way you reacted to his entrance, he used to scoop you up in his arms and quiet any of your pain with nothing but his presence and whispered words of comfort. 

“Go,” you pleaded, your voice scratchy and raw. 

“I can’t just leave you lik-” he sighed, and looked at you helplessly, as if saying what do you expect me to do. As if leaving you heartbroken and soiled on the bathroom tiles would be physically impossible for him, like he wasn’t the reason behind it. 

“Are you okay?” 

You sniffled and stared at the floor, “Please go.” 

Steve squatted beside you and hesitantly reached out. He swallowed hard when you flinched under his touch as he pushed the hair out of your eyes, ensuring it was only mascara marring your pretty face and you weren’t physically harmed. 

You refused to meet his eyes and when he tried to pull you off the ground, tugging gently on your hands, you shook your head.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you protested.

“Taking you home, c’mon.” 

“No,” you argued. “Why would I do that? No, I’m- I’m here with Robin, she’s-” 

“She’s passed out downstairs,” he interrupted. “You need to go home.” 

“You’re drunk. I’m not-” 

“I’m stone cold sober.” he informed, bringing his finger to his nose and then extending out as if he were doing a field test. 

You finally locked eyes with him, and the unshed tears that sat brimming on your waterline seemed to drown him. 

“I can’t, Steve.” you cried. “I can’t be in a car with you and…her.” 

His shoulders fell a little and his expression softened ten fold. 

“She’s not- I wouldn’t put you through that.” he said, as if it were obvious. “That’s why I’m not drinking,” he explained. “I already took her home, she’s babysitting her little brother tomorrow morning. She couldn’t stay late.”

You scoffed wetly, “How responsible of her.” 

“Be nice.” he warned and you wanted to punch his perfect face. 

“I’m not nice.” you slurred, under your breath. 

“Bullshit,” he replied. “If someone hit you with their car you’d be the one to apologize.” 

“Not anymore.” 

“Don’t buy it.” he dismissed “Can you walk?” 

“M’fine.” you clipped, rising to your feet while trying to ignore the feeling of the ground swaying under your feet and the pit of nausea still living in your stomach. “Gonna walk home.” you decided, pushing past him to get out of the tiny restroom. 

He caught your forearm in the hallway, steadying your wobbly walk. “Yeah right. I’m taking you home. C’mon, I’m parked out front.” 

You tried to tear yourself out of his grip, blaming the fluttery feeling in your stomach on your overindulgence. 

“I don’t want your help. Okay?” you barked. 

He ran his free hand through his hair and sighed, discouraged. “Look, I know you must hate me right now and I understand…” he paused and his expression remorseful. For a second you caught a glimpse of the man you loved, the man you still love. “Three weeks doesn’t erase four years. Please, let me take you home.”

Your will to fight him dwindled fast and you had to actively restrain yourself from embracing him and burying your face in his chest. 

“Robin-” you started. “I can’t just leave her here.” 

“I know.” He smiled sadly, still in complete awe of the way you cared for those lucky enough to be loved by you. “Go wait by the door, I’ll make sure she has a way home.” 

“Thank you.” you mumbled. 

“Of course.” He said, the second half of the sentence dying on his tongue. Anything for you. 

You slowly made your way to the door and leaned against the wall, forcing air into your nose and out of your mouth in heavy puffs. You could feel your nerves buzzing beneath your skin at the prospect of being in a confined space with the person who dizzied you most in the world. 

When Steve returned your eyes had drifted shut and your hands rested on your temples. 

“Nancy and Jonathan are gonna give her a ride, they’re leaving in about an hour.” he informed. “You okay?” 

You nodded slowly in response, “Thanks again.” 

He hummed and opened the door for you, his hand instinctively finding its way to rest on your lower back and guide you out of the house. 

When you got to his car he opened the passenger door, helping you in and leaning across you before you had a chance to shut it to secure your seat belt into place. Your whole body tensed when his fingers brushed against your hip and he muttered an apology. 

He joined you in the car and switched on the radio before pulling away from the party in the direction of your house. Neither of you spoke as you exited the neighborhood so you laid your head against the window and watched the trees under the dim street lights as you passed by. 

He turned a corner and you pressed your fingers into the leather seat beneath you to fight the unrest in your stomach that arose from the car’s motion. 

“So, why’d you come back?” you asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Y’know after you dropped her off.” 

Steve’s fingers tightened around the wheel and his eyes flicked to the side to see you looking at him timidly. 

“I said I’d help clean after.” he lied, swallowing the truth with a forced gulp. 

He couldn’t tell you the real reason behind his return, that he had been in agony imagining you at the party saddled up with some former jock, no one there to supervise your open drinks, or to ensure you had a safe way to get home. 

“And now you’re driving me home.” 

He realized leaving again before the party was over contradicted his lie and cleared his throat. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

You felt the sadness that had been lingering in you all night slowly turn to anger. 

“Of course I’m not.” you clipped, facing out the window again. 

“Sorry,” he said. “That was probably a stupid thing to say considering…” he trailed off, biting his lip so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if he were to draw blood. 

“Considering you dumped me and got a new girlfriend within a few weeks?” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” His heart hurt at the idea that anyone but you could hold that title. 

He turned into your neighborhood and you had never been more thankful to see your house in the distance, that is until you realized all the lights were still on. Your parents were still up. Fuck. 

To anyone else this may not have been a big deal, you were legally an adult but that never seemed to matter to your parents who were as strict as nuns when it came to drinking. 

Steve seemed to notice the lights as well because his car came to a stop a few meters before your driveway. 

“Well shit.” he remarked

“I can’t go in.” you said. You knew you must’ve looked quite disheveled, most likely smelled of alcohol and while you felt much more sober since emptying your stomach you knew there would still be a sway in your walk and a slight slur to your voice. 

“You can stay at mine tonight,” he offered. 

You laughed in amusement and anger. “I don’t think so. I can go to Robin’s.” 

“She’s staying at Nancy and Jonathan’s and they won’t even be there for another 45 minutes at least. You can sleep in the guest room.” 

He put the car in drive again and started towards his place before you could argue anymore. 

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, nothing but the quiet hum of the radio and the drum of Steve’s fingers on the steering wheel. When he pulled into his garage you got out before he had the chance to do anything annoying and chivalrous like open your door or help you exit the vehicle. 

You stepped inside the house that may as well have been haunted, every nook and cranny linked to some fond memory you shared with your ex boyfriend. The kitchen where he had miserably failed at cooking you an anniversary dinner, the shower where he carded his fingers through your sud soaked hair, the bed where you had lost your virginity and he held you in his arms till the morning came. Every part of this house was woven into your love story and you felt suffocated within its walls. 

He threw his keys onto the kitchen table and kicked his shoes into the corner as you stood frozen in front of him taking in your surroundings as if for the last time. 

“You can shower if you want,” he offered. “There’s some towels in the guest bathroom.” 

“Okay.” you replied coolly. 

“Just stay there a sec, I’ll go grab you some clothes.” 

Your eyes were glued to a slightly faded polaroid of the two of you stuck to the fridge with a Hawkins High Basketball magnet. The fridge was barren otherwise, Steve’s parents not the type to decorate with school pictures or family memorabilia. The photo had been taken the night Steve told you he loved you and the night you returned the sentiment. In the picture your cheeks were pressed together, spread taut with matching smiles. You had been so happy that night, quite opposite to how you were feeling now. 

Steve startled you from your thoughts with a gentle hand on your shoulder, he followed your line of sight to the photo and spoke, “One of my favorites. You looked breathtak-”

“Steve,” you cut off coarsely. “Just stop it.” 

“Sorry, I just…it doesn’t matter. Here,” he said, handing you a stack of folded clothes that you recognized as your own. “I didn’t think you’d wanna wear anything of mine and I remembered I had these in the back of my dresser.” 

You accepted them with no word of thanks and tried to convince yourself that he was right, that you hadn’t wanted him to hand you a pair of boxers and one of his sweaters still lingering with his cologne. 

Once you reached the bathroom you stripped yourself of your uncomfortable party attire and turned on the hot water. You stood under the sweltering stream and welcomed the burn, letting all the rage you felt for Steve bubble up and swarm your head for the entire duration of your shower. 

When you finished you hastily pulled on your clothes, your skin was now scorched and your anger hot and irrational. You stormed towards his room and swung the door open with not so much as a knock. There he sat in the dark, only the moon providing any illumination. His body stretched across his bed on top of the covers, head tilted to the ceiling with nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants resting lowly on his hips. 

“I hope you know,” you started, startling him with a finger pointed lethally in his direction. “I’m not going to go around thinking you’re some great guy just because you took pity and helped me tonight.” 

Steve could only flick his eyes in your direction briefly, too emotionally exhausted from the night to even sit up. “That’s not why I did it.” 

“Oh, of course not.” your voice dripped with sarcasm.”King Steve is just such a gentleman he couldn’t have it any other way. Don’t act like tonight was motivated by anything other than guilt.” 

“Do you actually believe that?” 

“You brought that beautiful girl and you just carried on with her like I wasn’t even there. Then when it broke me you just had to come along and pick up the pieces.” 

“I’m tired.” he muttered, your name following the statement almost inaudibly. He was tired of fighting with you, tired of seeing the way your eyes burnt into him no longer with lust but something even stronger, hurt. 

“You don’t think I’m tired? You don’t think I wouldn’t give anything to close my eyes and not see her hands all over you?” 

“Fine, I regret it. I should’ve thrown away her number the second she gave it to me. I should’ve never brought her to the party. Is that what you want to hear?

“No!” you cried. “It’s you who shouldn’t have come to the party and you shouldn’t have come back after you left. You could’ve just let me have this one night, I needed it.” 

“I don’t regret that. I had to go to the party, you know that.” 

“I don’t see what that has to do with me.” 

His eyes softened, “It has everything to do with you.” 

Suddenly you saw the events of the night under a completely different lens.

- - - 

Then Steve saw you, your cheek mushed against the blonde douche’s shoulder, bottom lip wobbling as you suffocated in the unexpected eye contact. 

Donna leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made his jaw clench and he shooed her back gently with the wave of his hand. 

“Sorry, bud.” he said, eyes unmoving from yours. “Not interested.” 

“Looks like she moved on after all.” Donna had purred in his ear. 

He looked at you cozied up to someone new and saw nothing but red. He had to get out of there fast. 

 “Why would I do that? No, I’m- I’m here with Robin, she’s-” 

“She’s passed out downstairs,” he interrupted. “You need to go home.” 

He searched the party desperately, only able to catch his breath when he saw Robin laid across the couch, mouth hung open, Nancy and Jonathan not far by. He forced through the crowd till he reached her and felt his heart rate skyrocket when you were nowhere to be seen. He shook her shoulder till she roused enough to open her eyes a sliver. 

“Where is she?” he asked, voice urgent. “Where, Robin? Is she okay?” 

Robin grumbled and rolled over but not before muttering two words, “Sick. Upstairs.” 

“So, why’d you come back?” you asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Y’know after you dropped her off.” 

“I said I’d help clean after.” he lied, swallowing the truth with a forced gulp. 

“And now you’re driving me home.” 

He had never once stayed after a party to clean, not even for his closest friends, and certainly not for some former football player he had interacted with maybe 4 times in his life who still found spitballs to be the height of comedy at the ripe age of 21. 

- - - 

“You were looking for me.” you realized. 

Steve met your eyes and exhaled heavily, “Aren’t I always?” 

You held eye contact and despite the dimness of the room he could see your chest heaving up and down with troubled breaths. You turned to leave and Steve fell back against his pillows, scrubbing his hand roughly against his face. 

Just as you were about to cross the threshold into the hallway you spun on your heel and faced him again. 

“Steve, I-I’m sorry okay? I don’t know why I can’t be civil with you. I feel like my whole life has been flipped upside down over the past few weeks. And I know I can’t blame you for falling out of love with me… I just can’t- I’m not ready to see you fully over us-” your voice cracked painfully in the back of your throat. 

“Baby…” he sighed sadly, sitting up in his bed. 

You felt tears spring to your eyes, bringing your hands to your face and then dropping them shakily. “I’m sorry.” 

He looked at you sorrowfully as your body finally gave out, succumbing to the tears. Before you could stop yourself your legs carried you towards his bed, falling forward on top of him and wrapping yourself around his body. 

“Please- I just, I need to-” 

You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence but Steve always had a knack for reading your mind and he knew exactly what you meant. You needed to feel him, to hold him again, breathe in his scent, run your fingertips over his skin. He knew because the feeling was all too familiar, he felt it before he shut his eyes every night, before the sun rose through his curtains in the morning, and every moment in between. 

Wordlessly he closed his arms around you and your nose pressed into his bare collarbone. His hands traveled up, threading into your hair, cradling your head against him.

“Breathe,” he cooed. With his chin tucked into your neck you could feel the wet lick of his lips when he spoke. 

“I’m not fully over us,” he admitted. “Not even close.” He laughed, humorlessly, nudging his nose under your ear, “You’re honestly doing my head in.” 

You let your eyes fall shut, wanting to take in every bit of this moment, unsure if you would ever experience anything like it again. 

“I really miss you.” you whispered into the diminutive space between you. 

A pained noise slipped out from Steve at your confession. He wished you could see the bigger picture he had sketched up in his mind, how in a few years he would be a blip in your memory, a single dim star amongst the blinding constellation of your future accomplishments. 

Steve may have been considered slightly ditzy around town but he had never been stupid, he knew you were too good for him, he always knew. From that very first kiss in his BMW four years ago when the two of you were only 16 he knew that the way you felt for him would be temporary. The admiration in your eyes would fade and the curtain would fall. He wasn’t King Steve like he had been in high school, he was just Steve, plain unpromising Steve. 

You had always been gifted, you were going places, you had aspirations. The only aspirations Steve could ever remember having were in regards to you, taking care of you, loving you, putting a ring on your finger, making you his wife, and eventually building a family with you. A loving happy family, nothing like the kind he had grown up with.  

He wanted the best for you, and as much as it fucking devastated him he wasn’t sure that meant him anymore. 

But his resolve was growing thinner, wearing down with each exhale that passed your lips to tickle his skin.  

“I miss you too, honey. So much.”

“But, Donna-” 

“Isn’t looking for anything serious.” he finished for you. “She’s good company but she's not you. No one is.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I can’t explain it.” 

“Why not?” you pleaded against him. 

“It’s better this way. I promise, it will be.” 

You nuzzled further into him, “How?” Your lips ghosted his clavicles and he trembled. “How could it be better than this?” 

His leg slotted between your thighs, pressing you into him. You jumped at the feeling, a symphonic sigh exiting you against your will. 

“Shit- sorry.”

You panted and shook your head. “No, don’t be. It’s good.” 

He readjusted in an attempt to put some space between you, feeling himself getting sucked into your hazy arousal rapidly. You felt the familiar outline of his excitement against the side of your legs and he hissed. 

“This would be real fuckin’ selfish of me.” he struggled to say while you chased his lips, yours already pouted in anticipation. He caught your face and held it in place in front of his own, searching for any lingering signs of intoxication, “You’ll never forgive me tomorrow.” 

“I’m fine,” you said honestly. The shower and time passed had sobered you up fine. 

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll hate me for leading you on.” 

“Are you?” 

Steve pondered your question and tried not to let his face show how unsure he was of the answer. Could he really stay away from you? Would either of you ever be able to fully move on from your paramount love? 

You read him like a book and grazed his chest with the tips of your fingers, bringing him back to you. 

“Even if you are, I couldn’t hate you.” 

He swiped his thumb across your eyebrow and watched your eyelids flutter in response. “I hate myself for hurting you.” 

You leaned forward until your noses bumped and spoke into his mouth, “Then make up for it.” 

Finally, Steve closed the space between you with a hungry kiss. His lips were warm and chapped against yours, his teeth scraping against the suppleness of your bottom one to pull your mouth open and allow him to show you just how sorry he was. 

For the first time in weeks you felt your lungs fill with no resistance and strain against your ribcage with a welcome sort of discomfort, like an overfilled balloon you were seconds away from popping and Steve knew it. 

His hips rutted against yours and one of his hands slowly traveled down from the velvet of your cheek to palm roughly at your breast. The feeling made your breath catch in your throat, coaxing a high pitched squeak out of you and Steve smiled against your lips, his teeth knocking yours. 

“Feels good?” he asked. 

“Mhm.” you hummed as he turned his attention to your neck, nipping and kissing the dewy surface. “Always does. You always do.” 

His responsive whimper is slightly muffled by your skin but you bathe in it. 

“You too.” he reciprocated. “I won’t last long if you keep talking like that, you’ll knock my fucking lights out.” 

“Sorry,” you said sweetly, leaving him bewildered at how you could be so sensual and so adorable at the same time. 

You sat up, straddling him. Your hands traveled south to breach the barrier of his waistband and wrap your hand around him. 

He sucked in a pained breath and tugged the shirt barring his view over your head. “M’hurtin, honey. Lemme feel you.” he pleaded. 

You pulled the shorts you wore down your legs leaving you bare and Steve took in the sight as if for the first time. 

His hands caressed your stomach, sliding downwards until they rested firmly on your hips which twitched in anticipation. 

“Somehow I forgot how perfect you are.” he revealed, his words drenched in sincerity. “No one is this perfect,” he pinched your heated skin once and you whined. “You’re a fucking novelty.” 

You stared down at him and wondered if he had ever really looked at himself in the mirror. You scraped your nails lightly down his chest, “You are.” 

He coughed and denied it with the shake of his head, bringing one of your hands to his lips for a loving kiss. “I’m nothing compared to you, baby.” 

Desperate to get on with it you raised yourself above him hovering whilst lining him up to you. Steve watched your face as you nudged his tip against your clit, your eyebrows pulled together and mouth falling into a gaping “O” shape. 

You shimmied forward a little bit and slowly started to sink onto him, pausing as soon as the tip was in. You winced at the stretch and were reminded that it had been a while since you had taken him at all, let alone like this. 

“You okay?” he asked, holding you firmly in place to be sure you didn’t slip any further before you were ready. 

You nodded, but stayed still. “Hurts a lil s’all.” 

Steve kicked himself when he realized he had done nothing to get you ready for him. “I’m sorry, honey. I should’ve prepped you a bit. Hop off a sec.” 

“No,” you protested, letting yourself drop another inch or so. “I didn’t want you to. I jus’ want you inside.” you whined as you sunk all the way down, ignoring the burn in your stomach. 

Steve cursed to the ceiling as you fluttered around him and he forced himself not to lift his hips and grind even further into you. 

He clenched his teeth as he spoke, “Is it painful?” 

“It’s perfect.” you answered in more of a sigh than anything else. 

“Yeah?” he said, reaching forward to circle your clit with the gentle movement of his thumb. 

When you moaned and rolled your hips forward he praised you in a rambled jumble of words.

“Fuck. Holy fuck, baby. You're so good, so so good for me. Shit. Warm and fucking tight. God, am I making you feel good? C’mon talk to me, lemme hear that pretty voice.” 

You nodded, brain fading into a lust filled frenzy. “Feels unreal, Stevie.” 

You tried to raise yourself with shaky legs but he stopped you with a firm grasp. 

“Wha-” 

“You think I’m gonna let you do any of the work tonight? It’s not happening, baby. I’m making it up to you, remember? Lemme make you feel good, hm?” 

He lifted you with hardly any effort and then pulled you down again, the drag of him against your walls pulling a series of sweet moans from you. 

Repeatedly, he bounced you against him, encouraging you with candied praises every time your face pinched in pleasure or you clenched around him, dizzying his head. 

After a few blissful moments you felt a wave of pleasure rush to you like the tide to a shore and you panted out a warning. 

“Stevie- I’m gonna,” 

“You gonna cum for me, honey? C’mon give it to me. I’m right there with you, sweet girl.” 

You shook and cried out as your release drowned you, sweeping Steve into the current right alongside you. 

You collapsed forward in exhaustion and he held you against his sweat slick body, peppering gentle kisses across your forehead. 

“You here w’me?” he whispered. 

“Yes.” you replied, voice light. You pulled yourself off of him and tried not to think about the loss, tried not to think about what would happen now. 

Rolling over next to him you shivered at the cold air on your bare skin and he wordlessly tucked you under his arm and rubbed his hands up and down on your arm, sparking a friction fueled warmth. 

He watched you carefully unable to decipher the thoughts behind your head for what seemed like the first time ever. 

“What’re you thinking about?” 

You swallowed and tilted your head up to look at him. “What happens next.” you admitted. 

He nodded in understanding. “What do you want to happen?” 

“Steve.” you chided. “You know what I want.” 

“Honey…” 

“Do you love me?” 

“Of course I do.” he said shocked. 

“Then what’s exactly the issue with us being together?” 

“It’s complicated. It’s not about me not loving you or not wanting to be with you.” 

“Then what is it?” you demanded, sitting up and pulling your previously discarded shirt over your head. 

He ran his hands through his sweat damp hair in exasperation. “We don’t make sense anymore,” he admitted. 

You bit your lip to hide your hurt and spoke timidly, “Why not?” 

“Our lives are gonna go down really different paths and I don’t want to be the douchebag high school sweetheart that holds you back from everything you’re capable of. I’m gonna end up here, working some mundane job, having a few kids and accomplishing nothing special. And that’s fine, I’m content with that but that’s not you. 

You frowned at him. 

“You’re meant for something bigger. Everyone knows it. I won’t give you some simple life when you deserve a grand one.” 

You felt white hot anger seeping through your skin and pushed yourself off the bed bitterly. Without saying a word in response you started searching the room for your shorts, feet stomping with every step. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, anxiety clear in his voice. 

“I’m leaving.” you said. 

“It’s the middle of the night.” 

“I don’t care.” you hissed. “You really think you’re helping me by making decisions for me? Do I not get any say in what I want?” 

“Of course you do, that’s what this is about. One day you’re gonna want more than I can offer you. I'm just trying to make it easier for you.” 

“Wow,” you breathed. “You really have no idea what I want then.” 

“So tell me.” 

“Steve.” you said, shimmying your shorts back up your legs. “I want you. No ifs ands or buts. Have I not made that crystal clear the entire time we’ve been together?” 

“You have but-” 

“No, I’m not done. You’re right, I don’t want a simple life. I want to settle down here, in the town we fell in love. I want to marry you and have kids with you. I want to make dinner with you every night and after we eat I want to wash the dishes while you dry. I want to take your clothes out of the dryer and fold them while they’re still warm. I want to kiss you every night before I go to bed and roll over next to you every morning. I want us. A life where we end up together couldn’t be simple because it’s us together, and I love you so much more than any other possible outcome.” 

He stared at you bewildered. “You do?” 

“Yes! I’ve been in absolute hell these last few weeks over this?” 

You approached him and took his hands in yours. 

“Look,” you sighed. “I’m so sorry that people in your life have made you believe that you aren’t the talented, smart, capable and loving man that I know you are but none of them matter when it comes to our relationship. That’s just us, me and you. And I know,” you pressed a hand to your heart. “There’s no one in the world who could give me a better life, or love me better than you. I love you, Steve.” 

He looked up at you, half sorrowfully half hopefully, “Does this mean we’re back together?” 

“Do you want to be?” 

“Of course I do. I’ve been miserable without you.” he replied. 

“And who’s fault is that?” you laughed, the mood in the room beginning to mellow out into the typically comforting setting you were accustomed to when you were with Steve. 

“I’m sorry I ended us and that I tried to make your choices for you.” he said. “I promise I won’t do it again. Oh, and I love you, like more than anything else in the world and I’m fucking devastated that I made you think I didn’t.” 

“I love you too.” you echoed, melting into his arms once again not planning on letting go anytime soon. 

He pressed his nose into your hair and smiled, lopsided. “I’ve got a lot of making up to do, y’know.” 

“Good thing you have the rest of our lives.” 

He tugged you onto the bed making you break into a fit of giggles as he pressed sloppy kisses over your entire face. 

“I think I’ll start right now.”