#i want to hug vax btw

[yudol-skorbi]

i found more!

[ravendruid]

Hi 👋 I would love to see Vaxleth in number 27 kissing in the rain 💛 I love your writing so much btw

Hii!!! Thank you so much for sending a prompt! :D I hope you like it as much as I do ^_^ (And thank you for the compliment :D :D :D)

A Kiss In The Rain

(Read on AO3)

Rain is fun until it isn’t and, at this point, Vax’ildan is getting fed up of the second day of pouring outside. He wants to get out of this stuffy, snobby, much-too-large castle where he feels like he’s being watched at every moment of the day, which he probably is, considering his stomach can’t growl without a servant immediately coming over with a tray of food.

It doesn’t help that everyone he wants to hang out with is locked in the workshop with Percival, going over sketches, doing calculations, and planning things that are far more complicated than what Vax’s brain can comprehend. It sucks that both his sister and his girlfriend instantly bury themselves with work whenever they visit. 

“Mr. Vax’ildan?” A young maid calls his attention. Vax rolls his eyes at the title and looks over his shoulder, decided to give her a word or two about calling him that, but then he sees she is holding a piece of folded parchment and nods instead. “This is for you,” She says, handing the paper.

“From whom?” Vax asks, politely as he takes hold of it. He recognizes the feel of the parchment from the same in Percival’s sketch book. If this is a summons to that stuffy, smoldering workshop… 

“Miss Keyleth, sir,” The maid replies. The title, again, makes Vax’s stomach roil. Why would Keyleth send him a written note through a maid when she can just call him on the earring?

“Thank you,” Vax nods, then leaves the maid behind. 

The note is simple and effective—Meet me at the Widow’s Garden, right now—but it doesn’t answer any more of Vax’s questions. Nonetheless, Vax still obeys because that’s his super-powerful druid girlfriend who can call lightning, and he’s not sure she won’t do just that if he fails to show up when she summons him.

“Keyleth?” Vax calls as he transposes the unlocked iron gate. The garden has had better days, but Vax knows Keyleth has been working with Percy to fix it. “Is there a reason why you called me to meet you out here? It’s fucking pouring, love.” He calls again, to no response.

Vax wanders around for a minute or two, looking in every nook and cranny for the familiar flaming red hair of his girlfriend or for any out-of-place animals, but he doesn’t see anything. He’s almost determined to head back to the castle when he hears a twig snapping behind him.

“Who’s there?” He holds two daggers out in front of him, ready to face the threat.

“Relax, Vax. You know I could snap you in two before you even flung that thing at me,” Keyleth mocks him. She’s not totally wrong. 

“Hey,” Vax greets her. He allows his shoulders to sag with relief and stores the daggers back in their belt. He sees her now, so beautiful and soaked to the bone, just like he is. Her beautiful teal dress sticks to her skin, hugging all her curves, which makes Vax smirk as he lets his gaze wander to her chest.

“My eyes are up here,” Keyleth hooks her finger under Vax’s jaw to bring his face back up. She’s smiling knowingly, a smile she always gives him when she catches him adoring her—which happens way too often.

“Not my fault you wanted to meet in the rain,” Vax shrugs. He wraps his arms around her waist and laces his fingers at her back. Keyleth does the same around his neck. “Why, though? I’m soaked and miserable, and I’m gonna smell like a wet dog.”

“I’ll dry you up, don’t worry,” She smiles. Vax could get lost in her smile. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen—correction, Keyleth is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. “I figured you were bored up there and you needed to get some air.”

“In the rain?”

Keyleth nods. Vax holds his breath when she leans her forehead down to his and closes her eyes. He feels her breath in deeply, as if she’s trying to commit the scent of him in the rain to memory, then exhale. “I–I wanted to do something,” She mumbles, allowing Vax to hear the sound of insecurity in her voice. It’s only with him that Keyleth lets down the mask and allows herself to feel and talk about her insecurities, which Vax appreciates. He believes in her more than he has ever believed in anyone, so he knows she can be confident and strong, but Keyleth still needs reassurance once in a while, and he’s glad he’s there to give her that when she needs it the most.

“In the Widow’s Garden, in pouring rain?” Vax teases her by wiggling his eyebrows. 

“W–what? No! Vax!” Keyleth scolds him playfully. “It’s not t–that!”

“Alright, then, what is it, love? Should I be worried you’re attempting to kill me, then?” Vax keeps teasing his girlfriend until she gives him a shaky smile. 

“I wanted to do this,” Keyleth ends up saying, more confident, and then she places her hands on the back of Vax’s head and brings him in for a kiss. 

When the shock at the intensity of the kiss passes, Vax fully embraces his half-elf druid girlfriend, raising a hand to steady her back as he responds by deepening the kiss. His blood feels like fire at the feel of Keyleth’s body pressed against him, but not the kind of fire that usually makes them end up tangled in bed. No, this fire is different. This is a fire that makes Vax think about the future with Keyleth, to imagine the days of following her on her work trips; of her coming home to a hot, homemade meal and a nice, relaxing bath; of the tiny freckled, red-haired babies Vax would love to have with her one day. It’s a fire that makes him want to get on his knees and ask Keyleth to be truly, wholly his forever, to take him to be truly, wholly hers forever.

But the kiss ends and Vax regrets having to come back from his reverie. Yet, there is a different shine to Keyleth’s beautiful green eyes, a shine that lights a flame of hope inside of Vax that maybe, just maybe, Keyleth felt the same way he did just now, that one day she will take him by the hand and ask him to stay, because they both know that it is her step to take, not his. 

“Are you still angry at me for making you come out here in the rain?” Keyleth asks, fondly caressing his face.

“I could never be angry at you, Kiki. Never.”

Vax kisses her again, and again, and again. They stand kissing in the pouring rain until the clouds part and Vex’ahlia and Percival find them soaked but happy, with blushing faces, and once Keyleth dries them off with a touch of her magic and they join the other couple in the dining room, Vax thinks that, maybe after all, this castle isn’t that bad. As long as Vax has Keyleth at his side and his twin is happy in the arms of the man she loves, Vax knows they will be alright.

[rightpastnowhere]

annnnnd finally, the last of the headcanons for @essayofthoughts !! sorry it’s taken five years lol

gwendolyn de rolo

sexuality headcanon: idk yet!! we only know her as a baby and i don’t really ever get vibes from kiddos. 

favorite ship(s): again!! idk!! we haven’t seen much of her other than that she’s precious, and idk who the kids her age are??? idk

brotp: i love the idea that she and vax ii are like,,, best friends. they seem to be the closest in age, so i imagine they’d grow up a bit closer than they are to the rest of the siblings. they seem to be the gentlest of the kiddos just from their demeanor in the portrait, so i imagine they’d just bond over being similar?? idk. i also think vesper is fiercely protective of gwen. she doesn’t face too much adversity - vex and percy and cass, too, make sure of that - but there’s a couple of assholes here and there, moreso when they travel. and vesper will just stick to gwen’s side - she’s got a lil bit of clout as the “angel-blessed de rolo”, and uses it to be more persuasive, or just as intimidation. no one gets to fuck with her baby siblings. 

notp: don’t ship her with her siblings?? i guess???? again, shipping opinions usually require more content for me to make

happy headcanon: she has a dream for a while as a kid of being a skyship pirate. this is after vex takes her up on the broom (it’s a tradition for the kids, they fly very slowly and very safely, percy designs a special seat for them), and takes gwen to see the skyship port that i think whitestone has idk (if not then they just see a skyship at some point. work with me here). and gwen, who’s already been on the cusp of a pirate phase, decides she wants to fly forever. and she wants to be a pirate because they sound so cool!!! but don’t worry, she’s gonna be a good pirate. the bestest pirate ever. she’s gonna go help people!! cause that’s what good pirates do!!! (leona tries to cut in that that’s not what pirates do but vesper elbows her in the ribs.) after that she forces her siblings to play sky pirates with her, all the time. no one can say no to her. trinket is the skyship.

angsty headcanon: she’s a good kid by nature, but as she grows older she gets this... pressure to be good, to stay good. never from her parents, not directly, although their offhanded comments on her being such an angel compared to their siblings factor in a little, so unintentionally. but after being the “sweet” one for so long, after hearing compliments and praise from tutors and workers in the castle and family friends, it sort of becomes... ingrained in her that she’s “the good kid”. she’s afraid to get into trouble or mischief, not only because of consequences, but this fear that she’ll be acting out of place. and as her siblings grow up and start having their own issues - vesper with some separation anxiety (born in the midst of all of that trauma, and then dalen’s closet), the twins’ self esteem issues, vax’s anxieties (these are all headcanons btw), she feels pressured to not bring up her own issues. after all, she’s the good kid. she’s the easy kid. she’s supposed to balance out her siblings, right? so she stays out of trouble while her siblings cause her parents stress. she keeps quiet about her own issues so she’s not adding to their burdens. they’re not that bad, anyway. they’re not as bad. right?

random headcanon: her tail!! is incredibly expressive!!! much more so than typical tieflings. because her family is the Fucking Best and whitestone doesn’t tolerate intolerance, she’s never felt pressured to repress the tiefling aspects of herself. so her tail waves back and forth when she’s happy, thrashes low to the ground when she’s angry, and the tip will kind of twitch back and forth like a little pendulum when she’s antsy or excited but trying not to be too expressive about it, kind of like bouncing on your toes. she ALSO incorporates it into hugs all the time, but especially when someone is feeling extra sad or insecure. it’s a little lifeline of support!! and love!!! and when she’s feeling anxious herself, she’ll wrap it around arms or legs, or around her own wrists, and people always use it as a sign to give her big hugs or ask what’s wrong.

general opinion: WHEN I SAW HER IN THE DE ROLO PORTRAIT MY FATE WAS SEALED. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I WILL LOVE HER UNTIL THE END OF DAYS

i can’t believe it. everyone who wrote a tiefling baby rolo wins, actually, congrats to all of you. AND SHE’S THE SWEETEST!! SHE’S THE BABY!! she gets everything she wants. her hand might be wrapped around her dad’s finger, but it’s percy who’s wrapped around her finger. he couldn’t be happier. i also think it’s good that she’s the baby - percy is probably far enough removed from All That Shit that he can only see gwen as a blessing. he probably actually laughs about, because when vox machina comes to see her, they all just turn to slowly look at percy. and he fucking loses it. but regardless, gwen is just a sign that, despite all of his past mistakes, he’s alive. he’s alive and he has a family, and those past mistakes very well may be the reason he’s gotten to this point in his life. and he wouldn’t trade his life, or any of his children, for the world.

to summarize: holy shit i love gwendolyn de rolo

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Night walks for Vex and Vax, please :))) btw you are amazing.

aw thank you friend <3

The streets of Syngorn are quiet at this hour and for once they don't feel threatening to the twins as they dart in and out of shadows, backpacks slung over their shoulders.

In the glimmer of the moons, Vax sees his sister smile. There's a glimmer in her eyes that's been missing since they day they left their mother. But now, as they make their break for the gate of the city, she looks happier than ever.

"Wait," Vex says, stopping and ducking into an alley. Vax follows her quickly, hiding just as a pair of uniformed guards walk up the street, talking softly to one another.

"It might be safer to go through the back allies," Vax whispers to her.

"Slower though," Vex responds, stepping back into the street. "I want to get the fuck out of here."

Vax doesn't bother fighting her, instead he draws his knife from his belt as he follows after her. They sneak down the streets, sticking close to the buildings, pausing when one of them thinks they hear a voice or a sound. But eventually, they find their way to the front gates of Syngorn.

The large metal bars towers far above them. It takes but a few minutes to slip between the bars during the changing of guards and then...they are outside the walls that have kept them trapped for so many years.

Vax turns to his sister with a smile and throws his arms around her, hugging her tight, "We fucking did it, stubby. We fucking did it."

Vex laughs in his ear, squeezing him tight before pulling back, "Come on, we need to get further away."

Vax nods and the two of them turn from the city and dart into the forest, hand in hand.

[hungerpunch]

(｡•́︿•̀｡)

i had to go to a wake today. i wonder if because my brain knew i would be going to a wake today, it summoned my dad for me in my dreams last night. i don’t really remember the details of the dream--i wish i’d written it down as soon as i woke up--but i know i spent most of the time looking for my dad. like maybe his phone wasn’t on so i kept calling and calling while looking for him and only getting his voice mail (too close to real life). and then when he finally emerged, he was the version of him that i last remember. like sometimes, when i see him in my dreams, he’s younger. like maybe my brain is pulling from a time in my life that was better or that i idealize. but anyway, last night, he was as i last saw him. grey hair advancing up from his temples and very slim. the weight loss wasn’t for a good reason, btw, it was because he rarely had money for groceries, but that’s actually too painful for me to write about. harder to write about him starving than about him dying.

anyway... in the dream. he emerged with great relief on his face, like maybe he’d been looking for me, too. usually in my dreams when i see him, there’s some ongoing plot in the dream that i’m preoccupied with so i don’t behave any differently... if that makes sense. but in this dream because i had been frantically looking for him, missing him, i acted how i think i would actually act in real life if he suddenly materialized. i screamed and ran down some long ... grocery aisle? maybe? to him and flung my arms around him and sobbed. it felt so real, the crying, like my whole chest got so hot and tight and my sinuses burned and it was heavy, in my body, and i could feel his arms hugging me exactly the unique way my dad felt to hug. 

then i woke up.

so then we went to this wake. for a father. and i thought i would be fine? i don’t know why i love to set unrealistic expectations for myself. 

it was fine, really. i just sat there and disassociated and fumbled my way through giving his widow and son my condolences and resolutely did not go up to look at the body. i have never been able to go up and look at the body. not when my cousin died, or my grandpa, or grandma, or my aunt, or my uncle, and then it wasn’t even an option with my dad. and i recall so so strongly how, after my dad died, i was devastated that he couldn’t be viewed because i so badly wanted to see him one last time. but i don’t know why i thought that would have ever been a good idea. their faces look... okay, if weird, but their hands look downright inhuman. completely fake. completely freakish. i accidentally looked at the hands of this man and had to swallow a wave of nausea.

and at the same time i was thinking about. how my dad didn’t get a wake or real a funeral. and how i didn’t get the comfort of having my friends or extended family in attendance because it was pre-vax COVID era. and i think about how everyone who tried to wisely console me just said “the first year is always the hardest” but. i think COVID fucked everything up for me. the first year was hard, yeah, but i think i spent the entire first year in various stages of shock. plus i was dealing with administrative shit like burial fees and corrections on death certificates until exactly exactly one month short of the one year anniversary of his death, so that whole first year just felt like an open and unending chapter. 

so i don’t think i started processing a lot until... year two! where i am now. in some ways it’s been easier and in some ways, it’s been way harder than the first year. his absence is much more noticeable the longer time goes on. missing at a holiday or birthday or two could be written off. wasn’t uncommon for dad to be missing. but he wouldn’t miss a year’s worth, and now more than that. my body starts to understand something is permanently wrong. 

anyway literally just blathering at this point, i’m sorry. it was fucking weird being at a wake in a proper funeral home with properly printed prayer cards and a proper amount of family and friends milling about just thinking about how it’s what my dad should have gotten. what we should have gotten. if i know anything, i know my dad’s not out there in the ether holding it against me, but. idk. anyway. i get impatient with myself for not just--growing and healing past this already, but. damn dude i did lose my dad and a best friend at the same time so maybe i should just be chill with myself.

[aviatrickss]

Vox Machina episode 34!

Did they beg Ashley to Skype in to keep everyone from dying lmaooo (I’m glad they did tho 💜💜💜)

Love that Percy is like “may I please have a health potion Grog :)” and Grog is like “alright” and then Vax is like “may I please have a health potion Grog” and Grog is like “fuck you I get to kick you in the nuts as hard as I want”

I love that Vax is like “omg you guys, you would yell at Scanlan if he kept almost dying from running into shit too fast too right??” and everyone is immediately like “Scanlan would never do that u fuckwit ur the only one with depression”

“~MEAT SHIIEEEELD~” grog im love you

“Hi Pike” agghhhhhhhhhh

Grog bulldozing Vax to hug Pike 💜💜💜💜 team big and small is back in business babyyy

BEAR PERCY NOOOOOOOOO

Keyleth guiding Trinket around the traps and Vex being like “he listens to you :)” I’m crying that’s so fucking cute

Vax calling Trinket “my nephew”... the Trinket love this episode is unreal, 10/10

Taliesin saying like actual science things.... wtf.... don’t like that....

Also I can’t believe not one fucking person has had the thought “maybe we shouldn’t be trying to press the button in the middle of the room that’s obviously a trap”

“In the absence of good ideas, bad ideas are, I think, always reasonable.” God that explains so so so much of Percy’s character, always shdhdhe

Also ngl I’m super salty about everyone giving Vax shit for running into dangerous stuff but like.... no one else fuckin wants to be the first one into the Trap Room.

OH MY GODDD THEY GOT GOT

VAX DIMENSION DOOR???? VAX MAGIC????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silas is just like “hey 😏” and Vax is like “l8r heteros”

Oh God but Keyleth trying to talk him out if the charm hrghhhh

“BREAK THE OUTSIDE GEM” “I think Percy wants us to kiss Pike! He said the power of love will inspire him?!” “FUCK THE POWER OF LOVE!”

They are. So fucking stupid. God bless.

They JUST got back from break and Matt is like “btw, your demon gun now wants to kill your sister :) anyways...”

Okay like.... I know that they haven’t found out about Vax being Fate-Touched and stuff yet... but if the Briarwoods were going to sacrifice him to wake up Vecna or whatever..... God, I just really want to see Matt’s notes for this

“I’m on top of a thing. Everyone’s very attractive up here.” Vax you are so stupid and so bi and you deserve to get fuckin sacrificed

“Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re both gnomes, and you are soooo foxy.” Jfc

“The darkness demands your soul Silas.” PERCYYY

Poor charmed Vax is just like “why my sister shoot me :(“

Omg Delilah Briarwood coming face-to-face with Trinket who looks like a really obese Percy walking around on all fours..... bet she’s sorry she murdered his family now huh

Vax using himself as a human shield for Delilah is.... weirdly appropriate

God Silas Briarwood was already a foxy vampire and now he has a fuckin life-stealing sword??? Why are Matt’s NPCs all proficient in being as sexy as possible????

Flying Vex SLAPS yo

VAMPIRES ARE SEXY!!!!!

“Did you say you SOLD your SOUL to a HAG?” “LET’S DEAL WITH ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME.” Percy n Vax soulless buddies and Vex is gonna kick both their asses

“I’ve got this cool new character I’ve been working on.” Mr. Mollymauk????

SCANLAN SAYS NO!!!!!!

Silas being afraid of Pike lmaooo

Percy absolutely DESTROYING Delilah..... boy’s working thru it

Keyleth getting Silas with the lamest line ever omg.... I love love love that she was like ‘i’ve seen Percy do lines so I just think that’s what badasses do’ we STAN best friends

“I BROKE THE WORLD FOR US”

Love that they’re just taking potshots at her and Delilah is just fuckin ignoring them to do her ritual ejfjdjxnw

Vax is so scared when Vex flies in :(

KEYLETH TRIES TO BLOODBEND DELILAH

Oh my God Vex falling through the air with one fucking hit point nooo

TRUE 👏👏👏 LOVE’S 👏👏👏👏 CRIT 👏👏👏

THE POTIONS DON’T WORK????

Omg they’re all so scared Vax is having a fucking stroke

PERCY THROWING HIMSELF OFF THE ZIGGURAUT TO GET VEX OUT!!! (oh my god just like Vax almost died trying to save Cass I’m)

I really can’t deal with it, like I know that she’s fine but they’re all so scared hghhhh

Oh my god everything about this has such bad energy it’s giving me massive anxiety

VAX RUNNING BACK TO STAY WITH KEYLETH

I cannot believe they’re just fucking leaving a black hole beneath Whitestone what the shitttt

[vethyourhalflingmother]

OK, let’s get into it

Disclaimer #1: i wasn’t in the fandom when this episode aired so i have very limited knowledge as to how everyone reacted to the scenes im about to talk about

Disclaimer #2: critique of the characters’ actions =/= hate on the cast.

Disclaimer #3: all opinions are my own, and they are opinions

alright, i’m talking about two scenes: this one from the end of episode 105 & this one from episode 106; these scenes both revolve around vox machina finding out that percy & vex eloped. it’s about 20 minutes worth of content if you’re interested in watching yourself. if not, here’s a summary:

in the first scene, scanlan tries to loudly announce the marriage to everyone & he’s supportive but also his usual dickish self about it. keyleth is angry and upset because she’s envious. vax’s response is very lackluster. this gets interrupted by godly taskings.

in the second scene, vex apologizes to vax & tells him that marrying percy was spur of the moment. vax says he’s happy for her and percy, but that he’d thought he’d be with her when she got married. then, he changes the course of the conversation by saying he doesn’t have time to be upset with her but if he weren’t going to die soon, he’d give her an earful. vex tells him she doesn’t want him to die. then percy & keyleth talk, and percy says he wanted to have a secret for awhile, while keyleth explains that she was upset because she wants what he & vex have with vax.

this is a lot to work with, and i’m going to start by saying that the reason i don’t like these two parts is because they summarize the major issues that i have with the entire vecna arc. that is, a severe mishandling of feelings. or, to put it more directly, Vax Won’t Talk To Anyone About His Impending Death. because what happens in these scenes is that vex & percy have objectively good news! they’re married! but to vax & keyleth, the news isn’t about vex & percy at all, it’s about what’s happening to them. and then, vex, who of course is very upset about what’s going to happen to vax & who also hasn’t talked to vax much about it, lets their conversation become about him.

so: keyleth’s reaction. i totally understand it, especially after she explains herself when she talks to percy. she’s hurting because vax is going to die. it’s not really about percy & vex, except that percy & vex have something she wants and she feels like she’ll never have. (kudos to percy for his “we’ll see” and fuck destiny responses to that, btw). i don’t think it’s fair but it is understandable. and it harkens back to the initial problem i highlighted, which is that i never got the impression that vax & keyleth talked much about what was going to happen to him. there’s a moment between these two scenes where sprigg stays with ioun while the rest of the party leaves. keyleth asks vax if that’s what’s going to happen to him. vax is quiet for a long time before admitting he doesn’t know.

and this could be chalked up to circumstances. there isn’t time. they need to stop vecna ASAP. but... they make time to do less important things (like go back & interrogate the creatures at sprigg’s house). the real problem is that vax doesn’t want to talk about it. he doesn’t want to think about it. he’s accepted it and that’s that.

but that’s not fair to keyleth (or vex! or even percy in this particular instance, because it’s his wedding they’re shitting on here! but im getting ahead of myself).

keyleth has clearly not accepted vax’s death. she’s struggling. she’s furious. she’s hurting. and vax doesn’t know anything about how he’s going to die and where’s going to go (not his fault) but he’s not talking to her much either (entirely his fault). so this pent-up emotion comes tumbling out in a perfect storm.

i don’t know for sure if talking to vax would’ve helped keyleth come to terms with his death and their lack of a future together. but also in my experience communicating with your partner (and literally every other important person in your life) usually gives a better outcome than not.

and so: vax’s reaction. the emotionless “you’re engaged” in the first scene. vex’s admittance that they’re actually married. then their actual conversation.

as i was rewatching this part, i thought, hey maybe this isn’t as bad as i remember. vax actually starts this conversation out strong. he’s happy for her and percy. he’s glad she and percy have each other to take care of one another. percy gets the better end of the deal. like, yes, yes, yes, I Approve This Message.

and then he says “under ordinary circumstances, i would be giving you an earful.”

‘ordinary circumstances,’ [lemony snicket voice] which here means under circumstances where vax isn’t going to die permanently in a few days, circumstances where there isn’t an evil god to stop Very Soon and where the winningprize at the end isn’t a big vax shaped hole in the world.

so, he says he’s not reacting as he normally would. and then he says he doesn’t “have time to be upset with [his] oldest friend,” which suggests that the earful? the ordinary circumstances? he would be upset.

if vax were upset (he is), then that wouldn’t be fair (bc he’s not entitled to be at his sister’s wedding, under any circumstances), but it would be understandable. people can’t control their initial feelings. they can however think critically about their words and actions regardless of their feelings. if vax were like “hey im upset because i thought you were going to invite me but i understand this isn’t actually about me” that would’ve been,,,, fine,,,,,,

but vax says he’s not upset, not because that honestly isn’t how he feels, but because he doesn’t have time to be upset.

sigh.

and then they go into talking about his death, although i think talking is a strong word for any conversation vax is in about his own morality. vex says she doesn’t want him to go & that she loves him. he loves her too. end conversation.

vex is clearly heartbroken that he’s going die. she says at one point that “things kept happening” and that’s why she didn’t tell him about her marriage. she didn’t know how to say it before, then vecna sealed his fate, and then it came out when she wasn’t around. how should someone navigate that situation? i don’t have a good answer.

vex doesn’t press him to talk about his death, though. keyleth brings it up because keyleth sometimes has trouble getting a handle on her emotions. vax... doesn’t know and doesn’t offer much else. but vex, i think, knows he won’t talk about it. she gives him a hug.

and i keep mentioning this, that vax doesn’t talk to either keyleth or vex about what’s going to happen once they defeat vecna. so i have a feeling some people reading this are like “hell, what do you expect him to say?” or “well, he has a history of walking away anyway”

as for what i expect him to say: something’s better than nothing. he’s reached some sort of peace himself, or at least he’s pretending at it. he could explain why he’s accepting (or he could explain that he actually isn’t, but i think he is pretty accepting). why he trusts the raven queen now when he didn’t at first. he could explain why he isn’t afraid (which is something grog has to ask him directly, later). there are lot of things he could say, and he only gives little crumbs (the part where he says he’s going to see his mother? more of that, maybe?).

and why do i think he should say something? he doesn’t have to say anything, and if he’s at peace himself, why potentially shake that by talking about it, which something he’s historically not good at? because he loves them. vax has made it clear that he loves his sister, his girlfriend, vox machina, more than anything. and they love him, too, which is why this is as difficult as it is. what i said for keyleth goes for everyone: i can’t say that talking about it more would’ve made it better. but i think talking about it directly & plainly & messily instead of using vex & percy’s marriage as a conduit would’ve been so much healthier for all involved.

vax’s history of walking away & avoiding tough conversations is something ive mentioned before because i thought he was making steps to Stop That (he has a few good moments with gilmore, and later with keyleth). to me, the way he acts in this arc slams the brakes on that progress.

so: neither of these scenes were about vex & percy’s marriage. and they should have been, and they could’ve been if other conversations about vax’s death had happened— conversations which never directly did happen. and i’ll probably always be unsatisfied by that particular lack of resolution. i don’t think vax & keyleth should’ve reacted the way they did... and i think if anyone should’ve apologized, it should’ve been them. 

[mommyblessing-fyi]

get vaccinated & go… where ?

12/20/21

I was on the lookout for a destination that’s drivable from Kansas City for a vacation that would tease Daddy Blessing into getting vaccinated.

A college student whose family is also mixed race said privately that she didn’t think Lake of the Ozarks was such a good idea… and per a summer 2021 article it looked as though people at the Ozarks are pretty much anti-vax and anti-mask, too.

Another of my students made a trip to the International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta with her teen-aged daughter this fall. I’ve been wanting to explore Albuquerque/Santa Fe, and I’m acquainted with a couple Nigerian-Americans living in Santa Fe. I remember how, once when driving westward, it was as though the backdrop suddenly changed upon entering New Mexico.

Alas, Santa Fe was too far to drive with what time we had. 

When Daddy B got his first shot I decided on St. Louis, about four hours away, and booked an AirBnB duplex for two nights. I also got timed tickets to the top of the Arch for midday Monday to push us out of Kansas City and on our way by 7am that morning.

The long drive-thru line for a “fast” breakfast on the way had me a little anxious, still we arrived on schedule and parked in a metered spot by the footbridge to Gateway Arch Park.

I had gone up in the arch once before, on my way home for Christmas from college. Looking down from the top I saw a pristine lawn of snow. Back on ground I took my afghan hound for a run. With our six feet we marked a giant figure eight - an infinity sign - on that blank canvas. We went round, and round again, to win the attention of onlookers 600 feet above.

I’d forgotten all about climbing aboard the little Arch tram car with jolting rides up & down and views of the structure’s innards along the way…

At the top Blessing and Daddy B pulled phones out of pockets and began framing up views of Missouri to the west and Illinois, just over the Mississippi River, to our east. You feel God-like looking out on the world below where teensy people and cars are moving about.

The exit from the arch complex sent us straight out to the foot of a leg where Blessing posed for photos by the end of the silver rainbow. What a mighty work for the public sphere, thank you Eero Saarinen. It looks contemporary at 55 years plus.

Later that first day it appeared that our AirBnB had only one bedroom ! We opened this door and that... to find B’s room downstairs - with its freshly-made bed, mirror wall, and snaking remote-control mood light. Blessing gave me a hug. 

During our stay we took in the Aquarium, where a stingray circling the petting pool gave B a big splash (these rays have had their barbs removed, btw). We did the free behind-the-scenes tour of Shark Canyon which was simply a view from above narrated by a well informed guide. The Canyon is vast with many species and dramatic tank-side views. Beyond that were aquaria with leafy sea dragons, sea nettles (jellyfish with long, flowing tentacles)… and a ruffly octopus colored orange (at least for the moment) that receives “enrichment” through being given puzzles to solve. 

When I look back through my videos, it’s as though my phone’s a window to an aquarium ~

Our other stops included Laumeier Sculpture Park, the Cathedral, the Art Museum, and lastly the Zoo. Close up views of gorillas had us marveling at how their feet seemed like hands and how their ears and hands looked almost human.

We prepared most meals at our vacation abode and enjoyed a supper out at Lona’s Li’l Eats, “home of the giant rice paper wrap.”

Back in Kansas City I’ve been dreaming of Christmas Eve in Santa Fe: the Farolito Walk, midnight service at the Cathedral of St. Francis of Assisi…

(Maybe next Christmas !)

(c) Mommy Blessing, 2021

[littlecajunlady]

Critical Role Episode 51: Test of Pride

AHHHHH I’ve gotta wait until I come back from vacation to watch the next one. Ultimate cliffhanger! I mean, I know how the fight ends of course but I’ll actually be surprised by like 95% of the next episode because that’s ALL I know.

6:15 – Game starts, Scanlan tells Dr. Dranzel and Kaylie what's going on 11:20 – Scanlan asks for Kaylie's help and tells her the plan 13:44 – Scanlan feeds Kaylie the words he wants her to say as "Strongjaw" 24:55 – Grog can't remember if his father is dead (he is btw) 28:10 – Grog steps out to meet the goliaths, who fall into the trap & take 83 damage (Percy knocks 2 more into pit, Vax does 70+ damage on one and kills it, Keyleth pulled off the wall by giant eagle but turns back into a raven in time) 38:55 – Grog’s deception, he sees a goliath, Suda, he used to know who recognizes him 40:25 – Grog attacks him, Pike casts war god's blessing on Grog, fight continues 51:50 – Grog Sparta kicks Suda back into the pit 56:35 – Scanlan gives an acting class 58:00 - Scanlan and Kaylie "You can't hate away me being your father" 1:02:50 – The group gets stopped by a half orc & Scanlan talks his way out of it 1:05:15 – Dr. Dranzel nat 20 on opening the grate 1:06:20 – Scanlan fails a hold person on a guard, Kaylie successfully puts him to sleep, everyone goes down into the sewer except for Scanlan (Vex and Percy each attack giant eagles that turn back to elf form and plummet to their deaths)   1:19:55 – Scanlan reunited with the rest of VM, little Pikelan moment at 1:20:50 (They hide and discuss what to do next and if they should look for Wilhand at 1:25:30) 1:30:00 – Scanlan's magical hole 1:37:30 – Keyleth is told to hug Grog to "stealthily" casts a spell on him 1:39:40 – Scanlan inspires Grog ♪ 1:40:22 – Pike wants to cast aid on Scanlan but he doesn't want her to, then asks if there is a "ritual" they have to do together 1:41:25 - Vex flashes her boobs at Grog to inspire him 1:41:50 – Grog and Pike cute moment + hug, then Grog starts walking to the town square while the others stealth behind 1:47:45 – Grog "What's it like being the bitch of a dragon?" (An elf & Halfling investigate Pike's failed stealth check, Vax kills elf, Vex shoots at Halfling) 1:55:20 – Pike steals the Halfling’s whip and hits him in the face with her mace 1:57:15 – Scanlan uses Mythcarver for the first time and finishes off the halfling (Goliaths investigate after they fail more stealth checks and VM successfully hides, Ashley doesn't remember Pike commissioned quieter armor from Gilmore at 2:03:05) 2:12:05 – Grog walks up and is recognized by a goliath named Greenbeard, Grog speech 2:17:15 - Kevdak speaks, Grog "Do you squat when you piss now?" at 2:19:15 2:20:45 – Grog challenges Kevdak 2:30:15 – The fight begins 2:50:00 – "Vox Machina! FUCK. SHIT. UP!", Game ends

[starseedpatriot]

FEAR IS A LIAR. No black pilling. No fearing "shedding" and the vaxxed family and loved ones all around us. I think we have all forgotten something incredibly important and TRUE. BELIEF HEALS AND BELIEF KILLS. I literally just packed this book from Anthopology at UC Berkeley from 27 years ago a month ago with an article about a tribe in Africa (that I can't recall now) with that very title about people dying from their BELIEF in voodoo. There was no cause of death. They would literally die of fright. We as the truthers out there thinking about these spike proteins and reading all this negative stuff that btw- even the doctors talking about it have said is anecdotal and they do not know yet about what is actually happening- are scaring ourselves sick. I've been literally surrounded by the vaxxed from all over the world non stop for 5 weeks. I've never felt better. Know why? I stopped listening to anything but went to church, prayed, read uplifting things, hugged people, lied in the sun, did deep breathing constantly, fell in love with life again, ate much much less and tried to fast, ate mostly raw, had a spiritual rebirth, evicted demons in my life, let go of the past, asked for forgiveness, and literally gave myself to the divine flow of my life. F—K FEAR. LET. IT. GO. STOP LISTENING TO THAT INFO. I DO NOT BELIEVE IT IS TRUE. Know why? Because I am 100% certain that there is a plan that is over 60 years in the making (because I've spent way too much time studying it now and know for sure not from one or two little articles or videos but for sure.) This plan is the plan to save the world. Do you think for one minute that they ooops, forgot to take out a depopulation vaccine in that plan to save the world? No. That's a big no. People are making themselves sick with fear. We've ALL been traumatized and that is literally what they want. God wants us to be free and to only see him and love. I know this for sure because I've walked it so much. Up and down. Dark and light. If I can do it anyone can. I love you. Turn off the stations talking about this crap. I'm serious. I think it's going to come out they work for the demons. No joke. Like all our favorite "truthers"... I no longer listen to anyone. I follow my heart and talk to God directly. Join me?

A friend of mine wrote this, and I say amen!