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gyu-effect · 5 months

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i’ll marry you with paper rings || k.mg

“AND I’LL MARRY YOU EVEN WITH PAPER RINGS”

PAIRING || Mingyu x Female Reader

GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Love Triangle (not exactly), Marriage Pact AU, Humour

SUMMARY || When the two of you were little, you and Mingyu had made a marriage pact, agreeing to marry each other if both of you remained single till thirty. Of course, it was just a joke between the two of you and you both went about in your own ways, the silly promise pretty much forgotten. You soon had a huge list of ex-boyfriends and it became a routine for Mingyu to be your human tissue after each breakup. It was a tiresome job, taking care of you, but if the said best friend in love with you didn’t do it, who would?

Or, in which, even twenty years later, Kim Mingyu finds himself running to your every beck and call, despite telling himself he won’t fall for you anymore.

WARNINGS || minors dni, swearing lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, wonwoo is an ass (sometimes), mingyu’s friend circle bullies him because what even is new, reader has a obsessive ex, down bad gyu (and yes this is a warning), switch!mingyu, switch!reader, soft sex its more of making love so there aren’t really any dynamics, unprotected sex (do not do this), pet names for both (love, baby, angel, princess, sir), riding, sofa sex. [let me know if i missed anything pls]

WORD COUNT || 28.3k (what happened here-)

A/N || OMG ITS FINALLY HERE. AFTER 8 MONTHS OF TURMOIL, 8 MONTHS OF HATING IT AND LOVING IT, HAVING A WRITERS BLOCK AND CRYING OVER IT ITS FINALLY HERE. This was a huuuuge journey to write this and I hope you guys enjoy it because this fic is truly my baby that I raised. Special thanks to @wonumatics for helping me with the fic (and also making a cameo) and @thepoopdokyeomtouched .

TAGLIST || @alyssng @shiningstar-byulxx @ashkuuuu @venusprada @macaronihaha @jyiiscool @sanniekook @obaebarbs @springdaybreaks @just-here-to-read-01 @hoshipills @jhornytrash @jeonnyread @zgzgzh @neuviloved @hoeforcheol @sahazzy @lightprincess-world @watermelon-sugars-things @idubutily @meowmeowminnie @raindroponme-onme @nishloves @cosmic-w0lf @gyulfriend @youre-on-your-ownkid @neocarat17 @bias-recs @bmkgemz @fragmentof-indifference @peachytokki @hanicore @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @toshijimafarms @hyneyedfiz @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @sea-moon-star @jjeongddol @k-drama-adict @mnstxmnbb [if you want to be added to my taglist please fill in this form!]

𝐎𝐍𝐄. 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒

“Mingoo.”

The boy ignored your words as he continued with his drawing, hoping you would stop calling him and get back to your own work. The two of you had been drawing and colouring since morning so it wasn’t really surprising to him that you were already bored, but his art teacher had claimed that he wouldn’t be able to draw well since he was left-handed and he was determined to prove her wrong.

“Mingoo. Mingoo! Look at me!”

‘Mingoo’ looked exasperatedly at you, clearly unamused by your antics. You had placed the entire colour pencil box on your head, balancing it as you tried climbing up the arms of the sofa where the two of you were seated. No sooner had you lifted a leg, your whole body shook and the pencil box came crashing down, spilling its content everywhere.

“Hey!”

You had begun to laugh but immediately stopped when you saw how upset he was. Sitting down beside him, you gave him a sad pout as you gently patted his back.

“What’s wrong, Mingoo?”

“I told you not to call me that! Just call me Mingyu!” He huffed, going back to his drawing.

You rolled your eyes but you were sure he didn’t even notice it, considering how immersed he was in his drawing. “Fine, Mingyu. Just so you know, Mingoo is much cuter! What’s bothering you?”

Mingyu didn’t respond right away, which just confirmed your suspicions that he was very, very upset. And when he did look at you finally, his lower lip was quivering as though he was on the verge of tears.

“My- my art teacher told me I can’t draw!” The very first tear drop fell as he sniffled, trying very hard to control his tears. You looked at him confused, not sure what he was talking about since Mingyu was clearly the best artist you had seen in your life (however short it was).

“What are you talking about? Why can’t you draw? You draw amazing.”

“She said since I’m a leftie I can’t draw!”

“That’s because she is just jealous that a six year old draws better than her. I think you are the best artist I’ve ever seen.”

“You haven’t even- you haven’t even seen that many artists.” Mingyu mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he felt the sadness in his heart reduce a little. You rolled your eyes once more (he had come to notice that you seemed to really love rolling your eyes at him) before poking his cheeks once.

“Don’t need to. I just know you are the best.”

“Really?”

“Mingoo.” This time he groaned at the nickname. “I think you are the best at everything. You are the best person I’ve ever met.”

“You are just six. You couldn’t have met that many people, could you?”

“You are underestimating my social skills. But the point is, according to me, you are the bestest person I know, and that’s why you are my best friend.”

He snorted. “It sounds like you are convincing me to get married to you.”

You gasped at that, and for a second Mingyu was worried he had said something scandalous (it didn’t feel right to him that you would be troubled by this when you used the word ‘idiot’ many times, which was a pretty bad word according to his mom).

“That’s it!” You clapped your hand in excitement and something told Mingyu you were going to suggest the most scandalous thing he had ever heard from you. “Let’s get married!”

“Like…now?”

“No, you idiot!” He winced as you slapped his arm lightly, though he wasn’t sure if it was because you hit him or because you had sworn again. Maybe it was time to tell your mom that you were always using bad words. “We can’t get married now, so if we are still single till thirty, let’s get married then!”

“W-why, though?” He asked, rubbing his arms gently. Not that he was opposed to this idea. Mingyu thought you were a great friend, you were his best friend after all, and to be honest, in his eyes you were pretty enough (he didn’t have much girl friends unfortunately). But he wasn’t sure why you had suggested this idea suddenly.

You just shrugged. “No reason. It’s just that I’ve seen many movies where the best friends get married because no one wants to marry them.”

“They sound desperate to me.”

“So will you be, if you don’t get a girlfriend by thirty.” You snickered and that got Mingyu actually wondering. Would he actually never get a girlfriend? Now that he thought about it more, he realised that maybe your plan wasn’t that bad.

“Sure then. Let’s get married if we are still single by thirty.”

You raised your pinky finger to him and he immediately entwined it with his, both of your thumbs brushing against each other as you smiled at him, causing him to mirror your grin.

“Pinky promise that we’ll get married if we are still single when we reach thirty?”

“Promise.” He whispered.

“Oh, by the way, Mingyu?”

“Hmmm?”

“You are going to be the world’s greatest artist.”

Mingyu rotated the pen in his hand as he absentmindedly stared outside the window. He could faintly hear the teacher teaching something about the different divisions in the animal kingdom but he had no interest in it whatsoever (after learning about the different excretory systems of insects, he had lost interest in biology all together). Through his seat, he could see the school ground and being on the lower floor didn’t help the fact he could recognise all the students who were playing out right now, making him wish he was there instead of his current location inside the sweltering, hot classroom.

No one had warned him that middle school would be this boring but after being put in different sections, his school life seemed to have considerably dulled without you. Seventh grade wasn’t supposed to be this lifeless, was it?

He could see your little running form going in circles around the field and he automatically felt a smile tug at his lips. You looked so funny, with that annoyed expression on your face as you struggled to complete your laps. Mingyu dearly wished he had his camera with him, just to click a picture of you in this haggard form and pin it up in his bedroom wall just to tease you.

Just as he was thinking of the million different ways he could embarrass you, he heard his name being called sharply, snapping him out of his train of thoughts.

“Kim Mingyu!”

He jerked up straight to see his biology teacher glaring daggers at him, hand clutching the duster as though he was ready to throw it on Mingyu the second he answered the question wrong.

“Er,” he stood up awkwardly, eyes darting to the board to search for anything, just anything related to the question, anything that would give him enough hint as to where they were.

Suddenly his eyes landed on Boo Seungkwan who was sitting on the first bench, the extremely talkative boy Mingyu had recently befriended, and to his relief, Seungkwan mouthed him the question.

What are the four divisions of phylum arthropoda?

“Uh right, um, arthropoda is divided into arachnida, myriapoda, insectae and crustaceans.”

The teacher looked slightly annoyed that he had got it right but nonetheless motioned Mingyu to sit down. Letting out a silent sigh, he sat down and looked out of the window, searching for you. His eyes immediately landed on your figure as you and your friends stood in circles for dodgeball, causing him to smile once again knowing you were horrible at the game.

It was funny to him how easily he always noticed you even amongst a huge sea of students. He was always the first one to catch your eyes at the morning assembly and he could always spot you in the canteen during lunch despite the huge strength of students. It was like you stood out the most amongst everyone, and yet at the same time, there wasn’t really anything that special about you.

Thank god he remembered this chapter though he had studied this almost five days ago. Mingyu had finally come to believe that he had, what you called, a ‘sexy brain’. It kind of embarrassed him how much you always threw that compliment around him whenever the two of you were studying, but for some reason he didn’t stop you.

He just liked it a lot when you complimented him.

The bell finally rang after what felt like hours, indicating that it was the lunch break. Mingyu turned towards the window to see you disappearing into the school building one last time, before he began packing his books into his bag.

“Dude, why do you stare out of the window so much?”

He looked up to see Seokmin leaning on his desk, his usual gentle smile on his face as he waited for him to answer. Mingyu could see the curiosity behind his eyes so he just shook his head.

“No reason. It’s just better than studying bio, to be honest.”

“Oh, yeah?” He asked, peeping out of the window too. Seungkwan came and joined the two of them, having overheard the conversation. “Are you sure it isn’t to just check out the section A girls?”

For some reason, Mingyu felt heat creep into his cheeks as he glared at the smiling boy opposite to him, who was already laughing in a good natured way.

“Then what?” Seungkwan snorted. “His best friend is in that class.”

“Oh? What’s her name? Then you must be mad that the two of you got separated last year, right?”

“It’s Y/N. Of course I’m mad.” He huffed, frowning at the very memory. His school had suddenly decided that from middle school girls and boys would be in completely different sections. He remembered whining about this to you because what was the point of studying in a co-ed school if he was separated from his best friend for silly reasons to which you had gently reminded him that you would be meeting at the canteen nonetheless. “Won’t you be angry if Joshua got put in a separate class, Seokmin?”

Seokmin laughed once more. “Of course I would. But you look like you are ready to set the school on fire for this.”

“You see,” Seungkwan spoke and Mingyu could already tell he was trying to add fuel to the fire from his expression. “They both are really close. So of course Mingyu was pissed.”

To this, Seokmin widened his eyes at Mingyu dramatically, clearly intrigued by this new piece of gossip. “Oh? Is that so?”

“It’s not what you both are thinking.” Mingyu said firmly, finally zipping his bag shut. But one look at Seungkwan and Seokmin’s mischievous smirk was enough to tell him that he had dug his own grave.

“And what are we thinking, Mingyu?”

“You think I have a crush on her.” He said, his nostrils flaring. Mingyu could feel his ears turning red from the embarrassment but he wasn’t really sure why. What was so embarrassing about explaining his relationship with you, his best friend, to his friends? “Or that we might like each other. But we don’t. Not like that.”

“Uh huh whatever you say, lover boy.” Seungkwan giggled before beckoning them to get out of the classroom. Mingyu rolled his eyes as he followed his friends out but it did nothing to stop his ears from burning up. Why was he so flustered?

The canteen was as usual crowded and the three of them lined up with their trays to get their food, when he felt his elbows hit someone else.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Mingyu began, sure that his clumsiness had gotten him into trouble once again. But luckily, he was met by your annoyed expression (he never knew he could feel so much relief upon seeing you annoyed) as you rubbed your ribs gingerly.

“Watch where you’re going, boy. You could easily have taken off my head with that elbow of yours.”

Mingyu snorted at your words, secretly glad that he was finally able to catch up with you in the canteen. “I bet I could. After all, who gets tired after running three laps?”

“You were watching me?” You hissed, pretending to lift your tray to hit him. He laughed at you and felt his smile grow as you too smiled back at him.

“He was watching you the entire time.” Seungkwan said. Mingyu glared at the two of them but that didn’t stop Seokmin either.

“Yeah, nearly got into trouble too, because of that. Thank god you knew the answer or else Park would have had your head for lunch today.”

“You weren’t listening to Park? You must have a death wish, Gyu.”

All of a sudden Mingyu felt his stomach flip, causing him to stumble a little, his plate (now filled with food) nearly falling off his hand if it wasn’t for Seungkwan catching it with a hiss.

“What’s wrong with you?” He hissed, carefully pulling Mingyu away from the crowd. The four of them looked at him concerned and he realised he must have looked shell shocked or something, seeing that they weren’t scolding him for his clumsy habits like usual.

To be honest, he felt shell shocked too. What was that? What was that sudden feeling that nearly threw him off his balance? When you had called him Gyu (Mingoo had evolved to Gyu because even you finally agreed; it was cringe), he had felt his stomach drop like he had been dropped from a great height. You had called him Gyu countless times before, and none of them had ever had such a dangerous effect on him before.

“Mingyu?” He heard your soft voice call him, and when you placed a gentle hand on his arm he turned to look at you. You were looking at him worriedly, and for some reason that made him feel even more light headed.

He felt the familiar heat rise up his cheeks and he immediately turned away, not wanting to look at you anymore.

“I- I think I need to go to the nurse’s room. I think I’m a bit dehydrated.” he said, deciding that he must have been feeling unwell. What else could be the reason for this sudden feeling? It was very hot after all and they did have an hour of physical education before biology. Maybe he hadn’t drunk enough water?

“Oh, okay. Let me come with you-” You began but he cut you off with a smile

“No, I’ll go alone.”

You looked taken aback for a second, but smiled back almost immediately, giving his arm a gentle pat. “Are you sure? What if you faint on the way?”

“No, I’m not that unwell yet. It’s okay, you guys have lunch. I’ll catch up with you later.” Nodding at Seungkwan and Seokmin, he quickly ran out of the cafeteria, hoping no one was using the ice bag from the nurse’s room.

Now that he was finally away from the suffocating heat and loud buzz of the cafeteria, he wondered why he had refused you to take him to the medical room.

“Crap. How many days left for cram school to start?” You asked, stuffing another handful of popcorn into your mouth. Your best friend looked at you in annoyance for asking the most useless question in between the movie, but nonetheless picked up his phone to check the date.

“Two days. It starts this Saturday.”

“Fuck, we’ve really got to make the most out of it Mingyu.”

“I know. But you repeating it after every few minutes isn’t really making it better or making the day go slower. If anything, I can already feel the anxiety seeping in.”

He heard you snort and mumble something about having it easy because of his sexy brain, and he felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. The two of you were finally in high school, but there was nothing to rejoice about it by the number of extra classes you would have to attend. So here you were, idling away the two week summer vacation you had got, enjoying the ‘last glories of our youth’ as you had called it.

Even though Mingyu knew the next four years were going to be a huge study overload (he could actually feel the anxiety seeping in now), he had never felt so relaxed in his entire life like he had in these two weeks.

The two of you had gone to amusement parks, done movie marathons and had even gone to the beach for a few days with both of your families. Even though he knew spending time with you was supposed to be memorable, he couldn’t help thinking that this time it had felt extra special.

He still couldn’t forget that warm feeling that had enveloped his chest when you had won one of the amusement park games and hugged him out of excitement, or the time when the two of you kept pushing each other at the sea until a huge wave crashed into the two of you, causing you to hold onto Mingyu as you both let out shrieks of laughter.

All of a sudden he realised that he had been getting this feeling of warmth whenever he was around you quite often off lately. Not to mention that one time his stomach dropped when you winked at him back at your fourteenth birthday.

Well, in his defence you looked gorgeous. Like in a way he hadn’t expected you to. Of course he knew you were pretty. Kim Mingyu wasn’t blind to all those love letters and chocolate boxes you got every Valentine's day. But he really hadn’t expected you to look so beautiful in that dress. Nor had he expected his heart to stutter like that when you showed him the dress, twirling in it.

Maybe it was because of the heat inside your bedroom due to all the closed windows and door or maybe it was because he was remembering those confusing emotions, but as Mingyu turned to look at you, he felt his heart stutter once more.

Your hands had a dusty orange on them from all those cheetos you had been munching on from earlier this evening, and your mouth was in an even worse condition. And yet, he felt warmth flood his chest when he realised he didn’t really care for your appearance. It didn’t really matter to him whether you had cheetos crumbs smeared on your lips or whether you were dancing in a beautiful evening gown.

Because you were, well you. You were Mingyu’s best friend of nine years and with someone he had shared every single memory with, be it a happy, sad or an embarrassing one. Of course he wouldn’t care about your appearance (hell, he had even seen you when you woke up after bawling your eyes out for the entire night) so why was this point coming to his mind now?

You were pretty and that was a fact. There was nothing to debate about it and yet here he was, not paying attention to the movie but wondering if all the guys who had chased you were aware of this side of you. Would they still ask you out? Would they still send you roses and chocolates during that time of the year?

He snorted at the very thought of how fake their affection towards you now felt. Mingyu was pretty sure they would run in the opposite direction if they saw you in this condition right now; wearing your old Melody pyjamas while eating chips in the most messy way ever.

But he would never do that (assuming there was a hypothetical situation where he had to date you, of course). Because this was what made you you and he loved you for that. Everything about you was perfect in his eyes, including your flaws and mistakes.

Which once again, made his heart to stutter erratically causing him to suck in a harsh breath.

You turned to him when you heard him suck in a breath, your smiling expression changing to that of concern.

“Gyu? You okay?”

“Yeah I think…I think I’ve got a clogged artery.” Maybe it was high time he talked to a cardiologist.

“Dammit. Told you to cut down on those snacks.”

“Me? Or you?” He laughed, pointing at the heap of empty snack packets around you. You pushed all the packets to his side and he gave you his usual ‘defeated smile’, causing you to laugh once again.

Damn, you were really pretty when you laughed.

“Oh but clogged arteries? Please Einstein, I bet you were thinking about a girl, weren’t you?”

“What the hell? Where did that come from?” He spluttered, taken aback by this sudden confrontation. You punched his arm lightly before wiggling your eyebrows at him (Mingyu made a mental point to ask Seungkwan to stop hanging out with you since you were clearly picking up his habits).

“My dude, you clearly have a crush on someone. Why else would your heart be jumping like that?”

“I don’t think I ever mentioned it was jumping?”

“Oh please. I’ve known you for so many years. I know what’s going on inside your head.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “I don’t have a crush on anyone, okay?”

“Then why is your heart jumping like that?”

“I told you it's not jumping-”

“The only explanation is that you have a crush on someone.” You winked, causing him to groan. Letting out a laugh you patted his shoulder gently, letting him know you were joking. “I’m just kidding, Gyu. If you ever had a crush on someone, you would have told me right?”

“Yeah…” Mingyu nodded. He would have told you right away, right? But what if…what if his crush was you? Would he be able to tell you then?

“Speaking of which, one of my friends thinks you are cute! Do you want to go on a date with her?”

“Er, I don’t think I’m good enough-”

“Excuse me?” You glared daggers at him, causing him to halt mid sentence. “You are not good enough? What are you even talking about? Anyone who knows you well knows that you are a literal gem! You are smart, cute, handsome and well-mannered! What else does a girl need?”

“Er.” He tried thinking of something to say, but his mind was stuck on something else you had said. You had called him smart, cute and handsome? Sure, he heard you say it a million times before but it did nothing to stop the heat creeping up his cheeks.

“Give it a try, please? Suji is a nice girl too, and I’m sure you both would click. You know I wouldn’t have even told you about this if I knew you wouldn’t like her, would I?” You asked, your lower lip jutting out in a pout. You looked so adorable right now, pouting at him slightly as you spoke in a soft voice, as though trying to convince a child to do something for you.

As though in a trance, Mingyu found himself nodding to your words. “Okay. But why does she like me? I mean, I barely know her.”

“I don’t know honestly. She just said she had a crush on you because you looked like her ideal type.”

“So…she loves me because I look like her ideal type?”

You narrowed your eyes at him and Mingyu wondered what had he done wrong. When he still didn’t reply, you rolled your eyes and took the remote controller, switching off the movie and edging closer to him.

“No, you silly. She doesn’t love you. I said, she has a crush on you. There’s a difference.”

His head spun at your words as he looked at you annoyed this time. Why were you complicating matters when it was clear he didn’t know a thing about this?

“Look crush is like a short infatuation. It doesn’t have much to do with personality, and is mostly based on looks. Love on the other hand, develops slowly, over a period of time. Like you could give a million reasons why you might have a crush on someone but love is, love is just…there’s no reason. You just love them despite everything and anything. Like…their imperfections don’t matter at all.”

“Like how I love you?” He asked, and you just laughed, slipping your hands into his. He grimaced as you oily fingers brushed against his, but somehow it felt comforting when you entwined your hand in his.

“Of course not. We are just friends; everything is platonic between us. What I mean is loving a stranger, like a person you were not meant to be with in the first place. I mean like, not- not Seokmin, me or Seungkwan. Not your family or friends. Someone you accidentally happened to meet. Am I making sense?”

Mingyu nodded, understanding you very clearly. It made sense in a way. Loving you couldn’t possibly be the same as loving his girlfriend, could it? Loving you was like his second nature, like it was bound to happen and he couldn’t think of a time he didn’t love you and your friendship. Loving you was just so easy and just so natural; that had to be platonic right?

You switched back on the television, and for a few minutes, silence engulfed the two of you before you broke it again.

“You want to know something, Gyu?”

“What?”

“I would have definitely loved you if we weren’t best friends.”

“Hi!”

Mingyu turned towards the excited squeak and found a girl of his age standing beside him, waving a bit too excitedly. He smiled at her politely before beckoning to the empty seat beside him for her to sit down.

He had finally agreed to go on a date with Suji, deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to enjoy a little bit before he became completely busy with his studies. He had tried searching for good places to go on a date that might suit both his and Suji’s taste, but finding none, he finally had resorted to asking Seokmin for advice.

Currently the two of them were at the Food Plaza, a street completely dedicated to small food shops. According to Seokmin, he and his girlfriend enjoyed trying new food from there so it might be a great idea to take Suji there instead of a restaurant which would serve only a particular cuisine.

“So, um, Suji.” Mingyu began. immediately wishing a hole would swallow him up because of how awkwardly he had started. “What do you eat? I mean, like, what would you like to eat? Like- Like cuisine wise?”

“Uh, about that-”

“We could have Italian if you like! Or- or, uh, my friend actually recommended me this taco place but I’ve just got to search for it a bit-”

“I’m actually allergic to a lot of food.” She cut him off, smiling at Mingyu apologetically. As he stared at her, he could feel the embarrassment sinking in even more.

Oh. Oh. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have picked a different date spot.” He said, trying not to sound too dejected at how his first date was going.

“I didn’t want to offend you. I mean, it was the first time we were talking and you asked if this was fine with me and I felt it would be rude if I said no.” She said sheepishly, clearly equally embarrassed at how things were turning out.

Why did she have to overthink so much? Why did she have to be so polite?

“Then…do you want to go somewhere else-”

“I see a Subway here, behind you. Do you mind if we eat there instead?” She asked with a smile.

He forced a smile and got up, and she followed his lead. Oh great, this Subway is only a takeaway. “Of course not. Let’s have a Subway then.”

Mingyu had always had great expectations for his first date. He had always thought it would be at a nice comfortable place, enjoying the food as he got to know his date and vice versa. Never had he thought that he would be eating a Subway for his first date, sitting on one of the plastic chairs kept outside the shop, getting boiled under the hot sun.

The rest of the afternoon passed away in idle chatter. Suji was apparently a straight A student, but she had no other hobbies because she spent every single moment studying (he could understand her position, really, but it was still boring beyond words).They ended up talking about school and grades more than Mingyu had in his entire life and by the time they had finished lunch, his head was already throbbing.

Out of politeness he asked if she wanted to go to the amusement park but she told him she hated the amusement park, to which Mingyu had nothing to say.

Finally finding that there was nothing else to do (and they had nothing in common except for their grades), the two of them decided to call it a day. They bid each other goodbye with Suji thanking him for the food, and Mingyu promised he would catch up with her more (he didn’t intend to keep this one though).

The sun was already setting in by the time he began his walk back home and the atmosphere had gotten relatively cooler, but it did nothing to stop the pricking heat he was feeling all over his body. His head still throbbed from earlier despite finishing nearly two bottles by himself, so he decided to take some rest at the neighbourhood park.

He sat down on one of the wooden benches and finally let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

What was wrong with him? Mingyu could feel his head spinning as he felt oddly hot, his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably. Talking to Suji made him feel so uncomfortable for some reason, it felt like he had been talking to a wall the entire time. It was awkward, forced and just so annoying even though he couldn’t tell why.

And he felt unhappy. Unexplainably unhappy. Like he had been forced to choose a career he hated or like he had been told to stop art altogether.

Finally, he took out his phone and dialled a very familiar number, hoping you weren't busy at this moment.

You picked up at the first ring itself and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say? That he didn’t enjoy the date? He knew you wouldn’t feel offended by that and you would agree with him but then why couldn't he say anything to you?

“Gyu?” You asked softly, your voice laced in worry.

And that was enough to break him. He let out a sob as he screwed his eyes shut, feeling a heavy emotion wash over him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, though he himself was unsure what he was sorry about. “I’m so sorry. I just-”

“Where are you?” You cut him off gently, and he paused for a second to catch his breath.

“I’m- I’m at the park near our apartment.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes, okay? Just hang in there.”

True to your words, you were there within five minutes, and he found you crouching down in front of him. Gently placing your hand on his knees, you asked again, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He was still shaking from the aftermath of his sudden breakdown, the nauseous feeling threatening to rise if he opened his mouth to speak. So instead, he just opted to look at you with his teary eyes, hoping you would understand.

Mingyu had always been the softer one among the two of you. He was always the first one to end up with tears when he got hurt or offended, and at the same time he was the first one to forgive anyone for their mistakes. So it wasn’t really surprising that you had learnt to realise his emotions even if he didn’t, and you always knew the right word to soothe him.

“Hey,” You said, still talking softly to him. You took his hands in yours, gently rubbing circles on them with your thumb. “It’s okay. It’s completely fine that you didn’t like her, you know that right? Sometimes…things don’t work out the way we think they would. But why are you crying? Did she do something to you? Don’t tell me she forced you to kiss her or-”

“No, no, it’s not anything like that.” He inhaled sharply, finally finding his voice back. He didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Suji just because he was confused about what he was feeling and why he didn’t like her. “It’s just that…I don’t know. She felt so boring, bland and dry. Not in the offensive way! Like- like Minghao from my chess class talks about only grades and school too! But I never feel so dull…so lifeless with him.

“It’s okay.” You said with a reassuring smile that had warmth flooding back to his chest, the stupid prickling heat that had been irritating his skin now gone. Pressing a soft kiss onto his knuckles, you said, “We don’t have to justify why we don’t like or like someone ever, okay? It’s completely fine.”

And all of a sudden Mingyu realised what he had been feeling, why he had felt so unhappy and what Suji had missing.

“I felt uncomfortable.” He said, just realising how comfortable he felt beside you. There was a feeling you radiated, which was something no one could ever replace. Whenever he was with you he felt like he was at home, like no matter what would happen he could always go back to you.

Which was a given since you were his best friend. And yet, when he was with Suji all he could think of was you. Of how you made him feel. Of how you made him feel always.

“It’s okay, Gyu. It can happen. You know that I’ll always be there for you, right?” You smiled at him.

Mingyu smiled back at you, finally feeling like the throbbing in his head dull down a bit. As if on a cue, he remembered something like this had happened to the two of you long ago, another incident of you calming him down which had resulted in the two of you making a silly promise.

Back then it was a promise made at the heat of the moment, with little to almost no thought given to it since it was meant to be a light joke between the two of you. But when he extended his pinky to you and you immediately linked it with yours, Mingyu could feel your seriousness.

“I promise I’ll be there for you too.”

He pressed your doorbell multiple times furiously, patience running thin with every passing second. What was taking you so long? Were you that badly injured that you couldn’t even open the door-

The door finally swung open and Mingyu nearly flew in, engulfing you into a bone crushing hug.

“Ow! Mingyu- It hurts-” You clawed at his back but he still didn’t let go, pouring all his anger that had built up in the past few hours against you in this hug (he had always been told he had weird ways to show his anger). It was only when he felt you yank his hair at the back of his head lightly did he let you go.

“What the hell-” He began as he pulled away, still clutching at your shoulders. He took a deep breath in when he saw your split lip and bruised cheek, feeling his heart twist in the most horrendous way ever. “Did you think you were doing?”

Mingyu could feel the huge wave of guilt coursing through his veins right now. He shouldn’t be blaming you. This wasn’t even your fault in the first place. Why was he getting mad at you?

Because after all, this was actually all his fault. The whole reason you had even got into the fight in the first place was because of him.

And yet, you looked unfazed as you rolled your eyes at him, shrugging his hand off your shoulders. You walked into your bedroom and after making sure the front door was locked (your parents had gone out for a week and it was Mingyu’s responsibility to check if you were keeping up with the safety rules set by them), he followed you into your room.

“Why did you do that?” He asked once again, as you sat down on your bed with a huff. He followed suit and you turned to glare at him.

“What do you mean why did I do that? Of course I had to punch that asshole-”

“Then are you going to get into a fight with anyone who says they don’t like me?”

“Of course I will! And it wasn’t even a matter of simple liking. He called you a whore just because you didn’t want to go out with his sister. Who the fuck does that? I needed to get some decency punched into his head!” You snapped, causing him to flinch at your anger.

Why were you so angry? It was true that even he would have been offended if someone had insulted you, but now you had gotten yourself hurt and that hurt him a lot more.

“Did the school send you home early as a punishment?” He asked as he got up to search for the first aid box, trying to change the subject.

“Not as a punishment. The principal said he was letting me go since he was the one who started it. But they said that if I got into another fight, it would go down in my report.”

Mingyu hissed at the very thought of your report getting tainted due to him. Squeezing the antiseptic he had taken out from your first aid box onto a cotton bud, he was about to apply it on your lips but you caught his wrist. He looked up at you in surprise only to see you looking at him worriedly.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad. I’m just- Look, you got hurt. Because of me.” He said, his strained voice giving away the guilt he had been hiding all this time. He was mad at you; but only because you had got hurt so badly because of him.

“Nope. Not because of you. I got hurt because of that bastard-”

“Okay that’s enough swearing for a day. But why did you do that?”

“Done what?” You asked in annoyance, as though it was a stupid question he was asking. “Gotten into a fight? Gyu…wouldn’t you have done that for me too?”

“I- I would- I wouldn’t- Yeah. I would.” He whispered, feeling bile rise up his throat at the very thought of someone insulting you. Was that even possible? What would they even insult about you? What was even there to insult about you? You were so perfect in every way that Mingyu could not even think of any flaw that someone might find in you. “I would burn down the world for you.” He said, still whispering.

When you heard this, the creases that had formed in your eyebrows due to your anger disappeared, as you burst into laughter. He blinked at you confused, not sure why you were laughing. Nonetheless, he felt his own mood lighten a bit upon hearing your beautiful laugh, his heart skipping a beat when you smiled at him softly.

“Oh Gyu.” You said, grabbing his hand in yours. Right now you were looking so, so pretty that all Mingyu could do was stare at you and nod dumbly, all words dried from his throat. “You would burn the world down for me? Nah, you are too sweet for that.”

At this he snorted, jerking his hand away from you and proceeding to dab at your lips. “You underestimate my love for you.”

“I don’t.” You said, wincing a bit that caused him to freeze, scared that he was hurting you more. Seeing your wounds from up close made his heart squeeze painfully, and it oddly made him wish he had taken those punches instead of you. “I know you love me as much as I love you.”

“Then don’t get hurt.” He whispered. You blinked at him and he sighed frustratedly, pulling you into another hug. This one was gentler than the previous one and yet Mingyu held as close as he had done before, as though he was scared to let you go. “Then please don’t get hurt. It hurts me. It hurts me to see you like this.”

He felt you gently pat his shoulder blades before wrapping your arms around his torso, pulling him even more closer. Your scent, which he had grown so familiar with, comforted him as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

Hugs were not something uncommon between the two of you; you had hugged each other a million times before and nothing had changed between the two of you.

And yet right now, as Mingyu held your body close to his, he was hyper aware of how your skin felt against his, of how comfortably your body fit in his grip and of how his heart raced as you clutched his biceps. His heart hurt, his head hurt and yet, it felt so good to have you in his arms.

It really felt like Mingyu was the one who got into a fight; everything hurt so badly. He thought of the raging emotion he had first felt when he had heard that his classmate had hurt you. He remembered the panic he felt when he entered the nurse room and couldn’t find you; he was worried that you were in a worse condition than he had thought you were in and had to be taken to the hospital. And he remembered the relief flooding back in him when the nurse told you had simply been asked to go back home and there was nothing serious about your bruises. It had nearly torn him apart as he waited for the day to get over, dying to go home and make sure that you were actually okay.

He thought of all the emotions he had experienced with you; happiness, anger, sadness, fear, surprise and even disgust. Mingyu had shared a huge journey with millions of memories with you. He really couldn’t even imagine what his life would have been like if it weren’t for you. It was impossible to even breathe without you.

Suddenly he remembered what Seokmin had told him once, that maybe, maybe he was in love with you.

It was back when they were on a school school field trip and students had been allowed some free time around the resort so Mingyu, Seokmin and Seungkwan decided to play on the monkey bars. They were just either sitting on it or swinging aimlessly (sixteen year olds were a bit too tall for a playground meant for five year olds) with idle chatter when you and your group came and sat down on the swing.

Normally Mingyu wouldn’t have really cared and the swings were too far from the monkey bar to involve himself in your talk but he glanced at you and felt himself smile. You were laughing and talking to your friend, the sunlight catching your hair and almost giving you an angelic glow.

It was already warm but Mingyu still felt warmth spreading in his chest, his cheeks heating up within seconds.

Back then, Seokmin had joked, only joked, that Mingyu was in love with you but now, he realised that it may be true.

That maybe, he was in love with you.

And not in the platonic way that you had explained to him. Not in the way where you both exchanged ‘i love yous’ regularly because you loved your friendship.

He loved you in the way Orpheus loved Eurydice, the way Romeo loved Juliet and the way Louisa Clark loved William Traynor.

Because Mingyu had said it for himself; loving you was so easy and just so natural that he couldn’t even think of something else, he couldn’t even see himself falling in love with someone else. Loving you was like a river flowing, something that would have happened no matter what. Something that could not be stopped, because then it would be like a dam that had been forced to be built to stop Mingyu’s emotions from flowing.

“Just promise me you won’t get hurt.” He whispered and felt you slightly nod your head. You were gently rubbing circles on his back, with no idea what effect it had on him. “Promise me please. Because I love you so much that I can’t bear to see you get hurt.”

“I promise.” You mumbled almost immediately, unaware of the double meaning his words held.

But that’s okay. Mingyu thought. You didn’t have to know about his feelings. He wasn’t going to burden you or your friendship with his one sided love. As long as you were happy, he was okay with it.

After all, some promises were meant to be broken.

Like this one.

“What did you even want to show us?” Seungkwan grumbled, squinting through the sunlight looking heavily annoyed.

Mingyu didn’t blame him though. They had been sitting at the cafe for the past half an hour doing nothing, still waiting for whatever ‘surprise’ you had planned for them. The hot weather made everything even worse; Seokmin was already on his fourth ice cream, Seungkwan was sipping his sixth iced americano and Mingyu himself had drunk two large glasses of milkshake and now he wanted to use the washroom so badly but could only resort to shaking his legs.

“If I tell you it won’t be a surprise anymore, will it?” You said, checking your phone for the millionth time.

Mingyu realised that this was the first time in weeks he was hanging out with you. College was starting in a month and everyone had decided to take part in activities that might help them boost their respective subject knowledge. Since both of you had decided to major in different subjects, he hadn’t been able to see you much due to the conflicting schedules of your work.

He felt warmth bloom in his chest as he watched you smile at your screen, the corners of his lips tugging when he realised how ridiculously pretty you looked. Mingyu had come to terms with the fact that love was indeed blind; in his eyes you would always be the most perfect human being and even though you would never see him in a non-romantic way, he would always love you.

All of a sudden your eyes lit up, and you jumped up from your chair. “He’s here!” You yelled as you dashed towards the entrance of the cafe.

Confusion settled between the three of them as both Seungkwan and Seokmin’s eyes fell on Mingyu.

“He? What’s she talking about?” Seungkwan asked urgently, but all Mingyu could do was furrow his eyebrows.

He? Who were you talking about? Was it a new friend? It couldn’t be your-

“Guys, meet my boyfriend!”

Mingyu felt blood rush up his ears as he stared at you. A boy, of their age, beamed at the three of them along with you, both of you clutching each other’s hands. The two of you were met by complete silence, which was only interrupted when Seokmin’s spoon clattered onto the ground.

“Oh, hi!” He said, laughing awkwardly to ease the sudden tension that had built up. You pulled your ‘boyfriend’ down onto a chair beside you and it was only when the said man smiled at Mingyu did the truth finally sink in.

You had a boyfriend. A boyfriend.

Suddenly the air felt a thousand times hotter than it already was, compressing against him like it was trying to squeeze all the breath out of him. He felt his stomach drop as you smiled at the man beside you, your eyes holding so much love for him.

A love that could never ever be his.

Mingyu felt like he was going to be sick. And his two friends were doing literally nothing to stop the nausea rising up his throat. Seungkwan was glaring very obviously at the newcomer while Seokmin smiled at him awkwardly.

You looked at the three of them expectantly, your smile dropping a little when none of them showed the reaction you were clearly hoping for.

Mingyu felt his heart crack a little at your slightly crestfallen face and that’s when Mingyu realised how stupid he was acting.

How could he be this selfish? Just because he was in love with you didn’t mean that you couldn’t date or fall for someone else. Just because he loved you didn’t mean that you were obliged to return the same feelings. Hell, you didn’t even know that he was in love with you in the first place (which, Seungkwan and Seokmin considered a bit dense of you, because of the fact that it was apparently very obvious that Mingyu was and always had been in love with you; in fact that’s how they had come to know about this even without him telling them).

“Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Mingyu. And this is Seungkwan and this is Seokmin.” He spoke, forcing a smile onto his face for your sake. You immediately beamed back at him and for a second, Mingyu almost forgot that your boyfriend was there.

“Hi Mingyu! I’m Jisung. Y/N’s talked so much about you! At first I thought your name was actually Gyu.” He laughed and Mingyu smiled back politely.

He engaged himself in a casual conversation with Jisung and you, kicking his two friends lightly under the table so that they could help him a bit too. He didn't want you to feel bad. After all, you had looked really excited when you had first told them about the surprise and he wanted you to be happy.

"I'm hurt, though." Mingyu said with a pout, so that you would understand that he was only joking (he wasn't). "You never told me that the reason you kept putting your club activities over meeting up with me was because you had a boyfriend. You could have introduced us much sooner."

You smiled at him apologetically, a small shy one that caused his heart to stutter a little.

“Hey, come on.” Jisung laughed, placing his hand over yours and giving it a squeeze. “Of course she would prioritise me, her boyfriend, over you, her best friend.”

“Excuse me?” Seungkwan asked as Mingyu felt his stomach twist in the most revolting way. He felt something catch his throat, his cheeks flaming at the comment more than the unbearable heat of the weather.

Mingyu wasn’t stupid; he could feel the sudden tension in the air at Jisung’s comment and your slightly shocked face so he tried laughing it off. He really, really tried smiling at his words, however awkward the smile was, but for some reason he just couldn’t. All he could do was tighten his grip on the glass as he gritted his teeth to stop himself from lashing out.

Never had he felt so much anger towards someone. No matter how much he tried to digest that statement, he just couldn’t stop the bitterness from rising to his mouth.

Because it was true.

Mingyu knew it was true, and so did everyone else present at the table.

He would always just be a best friend for you, while someone else played the role of your boyfriend. It was a part he could never play, no matter how much he loved you.

But Jisung telling him that definitely didn’t make anything better. It didn’t make his feelings for you go away or make him realise how stupid he was to fall in love with his best friend. If anything, it made him feel worse. It was like Jisung had on purpose crossed all boundaries, just to rile him up.

“H-Hey guys?” Seokmin interrupted, as though worried of what Mingyu might end up saying in the heat of the moment. “Didn’t the three of us promise to play on Joshua’s new xbox at two? If we want to reach on time then we need to leave now.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Seungkwan said, standing up and grabbing Mingyu’s elbow to pull him up. For a second Mingyu looked at his two best friends hurrying to leave in a confusion and then it finally hit him what they were actually trying to do.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry I forgot to mention this Y/N. But we need to leave now.” He said, forcing a smile onto his face just for you. You still looked taken aback from your boyfriend’s comment and just smiled back hastily at him.

"Uh, okay. I'm sure we all can hang out together later too!" You called after them, and they hastily turned to you, bidding you a goodbye.

The three of them walked in complete silence for a while, as though the situation had not yet sunk in.

A boyfriend. His biggest worry was now coming true.

Mingyu could still taste the bile in his mouth and no matter how much he swallowed, the lump in his throat was still choking him.

"Hey man…" Seokmin said, stopping abruptly and causing the other two to do the same. He looked at Mingyu sadly, before patting him gently on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

He could feel tears sting his eyes as he balled his fists to stop them from falling. But no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't stop the feeling of his heart being ripped apart.

Why couldn't he be the one holding your hand right now? Why couldn't he be the one whom you looked at with so much love? Why couldn't he be the one who showered you with love and affection everyday?

The sadness clutched at his heart tightly as the first tear drop fell. Seungkwan clutched his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as though he could understand Mingyu’s feelings.

It's okay. He said to himself. You knew this would happen.

He hadn't felt this sad in years, not even when his friend Kwon Soonyoung made his entire friend group think he was the mafia when he wasn't, and definitely not when he had to force himself to keep a straight face when he heard guys talk about how pretty and awesome you were, or when you would open every single Valentine's Day letter and read them out to him, all the while giggling.

Mingyu felt Seokmin take his other hand and the comfort it gave him made him realise once again how grateful he was to the two of them.

He took in a shuddering breath to calm himself down before speaking. "Thanks a lot. For back there."

Seokmin shook his head, once again patting his back. "Don't mention it. I know this won't cheer you up and it probably sounds useless, but you both are going to two different colleges next month, right? Maybe, I’m saying maybe, you'll get over her. Maybe- maybe the lesser you see her, the easier it will be for you. Plus there's going to be so many other girls too, right?"

Mingyu just nodded, not having the heart to tell him how dull other girls looked to him beside you.

"But I just don't understand how Y/N still does not know that you are in love with her. I mean, even if she can't see it, surely her friends would have noticed?"

Mingyu shrugged, the feeling of dejection finally setting in as he watched the setting sun. But he always knew that one day or another, you would get a boyfriend that wasn't him and he would have to accept that.

After all, the promise that the two of you had made was just a stupid joke, right?

"Hey Mingyu. If you want, Soonyoung and I could accidently spill poison into that shit excuse of a boyfriend's coffee and Seungcheol or Jeonghan could cover it up."

He let out a laugh at this, feeling his mood lift up a bit. A bit.

"No thank you. I don't want any of you in jail."

"Damn, okay. What does she even see in that asshole anyways?"

Mingyu shrugged. "I guess everything that I lack."

"Hey, hey, hey." Seokmin shook his head at the two of them. "We need to cheer up! And you know what to do after a breakup?"

"Seokmin. To break up you need to be in a relationship in the first place. Mingyu hasn't even confessed to Y/N yet-"

"Do you," Seokmin flashed his eyes dangerously at Seungkwan. "Know what you need to do? That's right gentlemen. We need to stop by Joshua's house to play with his xbox."

"Did Joshua really buy a new xbox? Didn't he buy one last year?" Mingyu asked, already feeling slightly distracted.

"Yes and yes. You can thank me later on for being best friends with the richest kid from LA."

"He's friends with all of us."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Seungkwan."

𝐓𝐖𝐎. 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

The rain poured down heavily as he ran across the wet road, ignoring the way his wet clothes clung on to his skin, making him feel cold and clammy. His sneakers were soggy too, making it almost difficult to run, but he didn’t want to think of the consequences if he didn’t get to you quickly.

Mingyu came to a halt in front of a series of bars, taking out his phone hurriedly to check the address you had sent him.

Correction: he whipped out his phone to check the incoherent words you sent him with the line "oick ne up pld".

By now understanding your drunk texts had become a second nature to him; he could decipher it as easily as your normal ones. In fact, this current situation was such a common occurrence that he knew that it wouldn’t really hurt you if he reached a minute or two late but he could never get rid of that horrible feeling in his heart that something, something might happen to you if he didn’t find you.

Finally stepping into the bar whose name you had sent, Mingyu scanned the crowd for your familiar face. Being a Friday, the place was really crowded but it didn’t take him long to find you seated on one of the stools near the counter, emptying your glass in a flash before resting your forehead against the counter.

The tightening in his chest returned as he took in your expression, your drunken state causing his heart to shatter into millions of pieces.

He hated seeing you like this. He hated seeing you sad, he hated seeing you cry and he hated seeing you so heartbroken. It made him angry at the universe for making you cry, it made him angry at you ‘boyfriend’ for making you cry, and it made angry at himself.

It made him angry that he couldn’t protect you, or save you from feeling these emotions. It made him so angry that there were days he would just hate himself for not being able to make you smile. What was the point of being your best friend if he couldn’t protect you from those feelings? What was the point of loving you if you still got hurt over love?

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Mingyu walked over to your spot and sat down on the stool beside you. Then gently patting your back, he called your name softly. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”

You immediately shot up, looking around a little dazed until your eyes landed on him. Squinting at him a little, you asked in a slurred voice, “Gyu?”

“Yeah. It’s me. Let’s go home, okay?” He asked, still speaking softly as he gently slung your arm over his shoulder. You let him pull you up from your chair as he tightened his grip on your waist, and you buried your face in his neck.

Mingyu felt your nose tickle his neck as you wrapped both of your arms around his shoulders tightly, but he ignored it and instead focused on literally dragging you out of the crowded place. Once the two of you had made it out safely, he quickly hailed for a taxi so that you didn’t get wet (and because it was physically impossible for him to drag you all the way back home). After making sure you were seated comfortably in the backseat, he slipped in beside you.

“Y/N?” He asked, poking your knees as you rested your head on his shoulder. The strong smell of alcohol on you pricked his nose in irritation but he let you be, allowing you to use his shirt as a tissue. “Did you…break up again?”

You nodded slowly, sniffling once before looking up at him in teary eyes. Mingyu felt his heart break once again and it took him all his willpower to not wrap his arms around you and engulf you into a hug before you even spoke.

“He said- he said something was off. That he didn’t feel that I was really interested in him.” You mumbled into his shoulder. “I don’t get it though. I really liked him. What did he mean by ‘I wasn't interested in him’?”

“Maybe- maybe it's because you both have busy schedules?” Mingyu reasoned, not sure why he was trying for excuses for your boyfriend, now an ex. “Maybe he was under stress so he wasn’t able to figure things out in his end?”

“I don’t know.” You mumbled. “I-I thought it would work this time.”

It would work this time.

Mingyu had lost track of the number of times he had heard you spill those words, both in your drunken and sober state. It was a word he heard repeatedly over the years since college and he had thought that maybe after you got a job, he would stop having to hear those words.

But he still ended up hearing them after your every single break up, still sympathising with you like he was just your best friend and didn’t love you in any romantic way.

“Maybe it’s time you, uh, try something different?” Another common response. “Like maybe stop being in a relationship for a while, heal yourself completely and then try?”

“I’ve tried, Gyu. I’ve tried it so many times. But for some reason, I feel like something is missing in my life if I’m not in a relationship. You understand, right?”

He did not understand. Mingyu had never been in a relationship before thanks to his one sided love for you but even apart from that, he couldn’t understand how you could jump from one person to another in such a short span of time even though each of it ended in the same sad, messy way.

The taxi finally came to a halt, indicating that they had reached their destination. Mingyu quickly paid the fare and gently pulled you out of the vehicle, him still supporting your maximum weight.

Experience had taught him that dragging you all the way up to the fourth floor of the apartment not only was a bit strenuous to him but also hazardous to you (the dark corridors were not helping his clumsy nature in any way). So he slung your arms around his neck and pulled you onto his back, grabbing your knees as he made his way to the apartment elevator.

Once he stepped out of the elevator and reached his front door, he slowly let go of your one knee and reached for his pant pocket to get his house key-

Shit.

His hand came out empty and he felt panic grab him. Frantically, he reached for his other pocket but all he could feel was his wallet. In his hurry to get to you, he had forgotten to take his key with him.

How could he be so stupid? He had always been an organised person and always checked, double checked everything before leaving the house. How could he forget something so important, especially when you needed his help?

Shit, shit, shit. If we stay here any longer, Y/N’s going to catch a cold. Should I just go to a hotel-

The front door swung open and if Mingyu had been asked at that instant which god he believed in, Mingyu would have said Jeon Wonwoo without a second's hesitation.

“Oh god Wonwoo-” He began, as his older roommate just rolled his eyes, opening the door wider to let the two of you in. Carefully, Wonwoo helped a now unconscious you slide down from his back onto the couch. “How did you know-”

“How did I know you forgot your key?” Wonwoo asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Mingyu nodded, feeling Wonwoo’s disapproval through his stare. “Well, I went to your room to return your book but guess who had sneaked off so late at night?”

Mingyu averted his eyes down, feeling Wonwoo’s gaze pierce through him.

“It’s not that I have a problem with you hanging out so late at night. I’ve never even complained when Y/N crashes in your room. But why do you-” He inhaled sharply, trying to calm himself down. Mingyu felt guilt wash over him as Wonwoo continued. “But why do you run to her every single time? Do you have no self respect?”

He winced at his friend’s words even though he knew they were true. He had himself asked this question many times. Why didn’t he stop going to you everytime? Why did he force himself to shoulder your pain every single time? Why couldn’t he, for once, even hint that he loved you?

“You keep telling me it's the last time. Every single damn time.”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I promise this will be the last time-”

“You always say that!” He snapped. “You say that it's going to be the last time, and then you go back, and then get hurt as she rambles about her boyfriend and you still stick to her like she’s not hurting you; like you aren’t breaking inside, like-”

“Then what do you want me to do? Ignore her messages? Leave her alone in this state?”

“No!” Wonwoo hissed. “But if you don’t set boundaries, you are going to be her doormat forever! You’ll be a pushover-”

“Fine, I get it!” Mingyu snapped, mad at Wonwoo for not understanding him and mad at himself for being exactly what Wonwoo had just called him. Your doormat. “I get it, okay? I get what you mean. But I can’t just- I can’t- Fine, I’ll- I’ll get over-”

Both the men flinched as you murmured in your sleep, causing them to finally pause. Wonwoo sighed as he shook his head, slowly walking back to his room.

“It’s up to you, Gyu. Either chase her or forget your feelings for her. But what you are doing now- it’s just going to hurt you more. I’ll be in my room if Y/N needs anything, okay?”

With that, he shut the door of his room, leaving Mingyu all alone with a snoring you.

“Gyu.” You said, swallowing your food abruptly to speak. It just resulted in the huge lump to get stuck in your throat, causing you to cough as you choked on it. Immediately Mingyu shot up from his chair and thumped your back, slowing it down to gentle pats as gradually stopped coughing. “Thanks.” You muttered, giving him a small smile as tears slid down your cheeks.

“Be careful.” He said worriedly, pouring you another glass of juice. You took a sip of it and set it down, before giving him a bigger smile. Mingyu felt his heart clench painfully as you beamed at him gratefully; as though he was your saviour.

“Thank you for the breakfast.” He just nodded, swallowing thickly as he tried to distract himself from your smile; anything that wouldn’t remind him of the way the sunlight from behind gave you a soft glow, the way the corner of your lips quirked up when you smiled, the way- “And- and thank you for yesterday. Thank you for always, actually.” You continued.

“Don’t thank me.” He said, sitting down back on his seat. “That’s what friends do anyways, right?”

Opposite to him, he heard someone snort. Both of you turned your attention to Wonwoo, who was busy reading the newspaper (Mingyu had never seen his roommate with a newspaper; in fact the newspapers were only for him).

“Ah,” you said, “thank you to you too, Wonwoo. Gyu told me that if it hadn’t been for your timely intervention, we would have frozen to death outside the house.”

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes at you, as though trying to find the sarcasm in your statement. But you were genuinely smiling at him and Mingyu kicked Wonwoo lightly under the table. You might be stamping on Mingyu’s heart (unknowingly of course) but he knew you were always thankful to Wonwoo.

“It’s okay.” He muttered, going back to the newspaper. “I was just helping my friend.”

“Yeah, thanks for that too.” You turned back to him and scrunched your nose. “Gyu can be a little oblivious to his surroundings sometimes, right? He needs someone to take care of him sometimes.”

“Absolutely right.” Wonwoo stated coolly, picking up an egg tart that Mingyu had made specifically for you. He eyed Mingyu, before continuing to speak. “He definitely doesn't keep his own feelings and health in mind and is always dashing to help others, unaware about himself or what state he is in.”

Mingyu laughed dryly at his roommate’s statement, before shooting him a glare. Wonwoo then continued again. “But Mingyu is really responsible. And always has everything under control.” (By now, Mingyu could feel sarcasm even in Wonwoo’s breath) “In fact most of the time, it’s him taking care of me. Besides, I think we can all agree that you need to be taken care of more than him.”

At this, Mingyu shot up from his chair once again, pulling you up by your elbow. “You are done right? I’ve already packed some lunch for you. Come on, I’ll drive you back home.”

You looked at him confused. “But- But I just started-”

“It’s okay, you can have them in the car!” He said, quickly picking up some tarts. You rose from your chair hesitantly, but nonetheless waved Wonwoo a small bye as you followed Mingyu out of the house.

Just before closing the main door, Mingyu glared one last time at his roommate, but the older one just smiled at him, mouthing the words, ‘enjoy your “alone” time with Y/N.’ He air quoted the word alone, causing Mingyu to roll his eyes.

As he walked towards his car with you behind him, he made a mental note to talk to Wonwoo about not betraying roommates.

“I’m sorry.” You said, as you finally settled in the car seat. Mingyu looked at you confusedly, not sure where this was coming from. You had never apologised to him before because there wasn’t any need to. He would have gone to pick you up if you had ever texted him, break up or not, drunk or sober. It wasn’t like the two of you were strangers either, where one had to apologise for the inconvenience caused.

Wait, Mingyu thought. Don’t tell me she knows about-

“I keep asking you to come so late at night and pick me up. And then I crash into your house just like that. I can understand why Wonwoo doesn’t like me.” You said, a note of sadness lingering in your voice.

“Oh.” He let out a small breath of relief, feeling a tension release from his chest at your words. Over the years, as Mingyu saw how horribly you dealt with breakups, he had learnt to control his feelings even more whenever he was around you and not let a slip of word either. He didn’t want you to end up like that because of him, even the thought of it brought a stabbing pain to his chest. “Oh, don’t be sorry. What are friends for, huh? I’ve known you all my life. If I can’t help you get you home safely, I think your mother will stop thinking of me as her son.” He glanced at your direction as you gave him a small smile.

But Mingyu could tell there was still some weight on your chest so he added, “And don’t worry about Wonwoo. He does like you. It’s just that- It's just that he is worried that one of us might get hurt, you know.” That one of us being me. “He’s a great guy, trust me. He’s nice and caring in his quiet ways. And he’s someone I trust with my life. Apart from you of course. And Seokmin and Seungkwan. And Joshua too.”

Mingyu saw you smile more brightly from the corner of his eyes as you reached forward and placed your hand over his, which was on the steering. Had it been someone else, Mingyu would have flinched and probably would have accidentally rammed the car into a wall (he was speaking this from experience; needless to say the female coworker didn’t even glance at his direction ever again despite the ‘crush’ she previously had on him).

But yours were so warm and comforting, he felt himself relaxing against your touch almost immediately, before realising you were probably watching him. Quickly he straightened up, and inhaled deeply to control his heart that was giving small squeezes every now and then.

“So, uh,” He began, venturing into the area he knew might be a bit painful for you. “What did he say this time?”

You seemed to understand who he was referring to by the way you withdrew your hands from his and crossed them in front of your chest. You frowned slightly though Mingyu wasn’t sure if it was because of the sunlight falling on your face or the content of yesterday night’s conversation.

“I don’t know, Gyu. I don’t know. He said he felt I wasn’t committed enough. What did he mean by that? I always readjusted my schedule to meet him, ditched my friends whenever he said he needed me and god knows what else. What more does he need?”

“Did you mention that to him?”

“Of course I did! And he just felt that even though my actions were doing those, it was obvious my heart was searching for something else! Like what is he? A shaman?”

“Er, didn’t the last guy, what’s his name? Haejoon? Didn’t he say the same thing?” Mingyu asked.

“Who’s side are you on?”

“Yours, of course.”

“Good to know. But you are right, you know. They always say the same thing. Not only Haejoon and Jongmin. Starting from Jisung, they always say the same thing.”

“And what are you exactly searching for?” Mingyu asked as he carefully parked the car in front of your apartment. He really wanted to know what was the thing that you were looking for, the thing that caused your break ups and the thing that might finally give you solace. He wondered if he had what you were searching, though he doubted you would even bother looking for it in him.

You shrugged as you got out of the door, pulling the bag of food along with you as you got out. “I don’t know. I don’t know myself.” You said, though in Mingyu’s opinion you didn’t look that affected by it. Mingyu had always loved how cool and chill you always were about life but right now, he was really dying to know what was the key point that would win your heart forever.

“Here, give that to me. It’s heavy. I’ll carry it.” He said, reaching forward to take the bag from your hand but you just moved the handle away from him, a playful glint in your eyes.

“What? Just because you’ve been living in the gym off lately doesn’t mean I can’t lift this much.” You said, walking up the stairs.

Mingyu frowned and paused for a second, before chasing after you. “How did you know that? I don’t think I’ve told you-”

“Those arms don’t lie, Gyu.” You said with a wink, stopping in front of your door as you rummaged through your purse for the house key. “And besides, Seokmin keeps me updated with his pictures-”

“What? Seokmin has been sending you gym pictures?” Mingyu gasped, feeling his head spin. You just laughed at him teasingly as you walked into the house, a sound which made Mingyu’s stomach somersault but right now his head was in a whirl. “Y/N! Answer me!”

“And what will you do if I say yes?” You said, amused at his reaction as you placed the bag of food carefully on the dining table before turning to you. Your one hand was on your hip, the other on the edge of the table and you were smiling at him brightly, eyes crinkling at the corners.

You looked so, so pretty that for a second Mingyu had forgotten to answer your question. It was only when you raised your eyebrows at him did he realise he was staring, and quickly looked down so that you wouldn’t see the heat creeping up his cheeks.

“Uh, it doesn’t really matter to me.” And it shouldn’t have mattered. Mingyu knew that Seokmin and you were just good friends, and that Seokmin was really faithful to his girlfriend but still, he couldn’t help feeling disgruntled about it. Why couldn’t it be his gym pictures you were asking for?

“Uh huh.” He heard you say, but it sounded closer than before. Mingyu looked up and almost jumped back, because you were so close to him now, that he could almost count the number of lashes on your eyes. He inhaled your scent; you smelled like his soap. But he never knew his soap smelt this good, never knew its scent could be this intoxicating, slowing down his reactions as you beamed at him mischievously. How the hell did you manage to smell better than him in his soap?

“You don’t need to pout so much, Gyu.” You said, cupping his cheeks as you scrunched your nose at him fondly. Despite being six feet, Mingyu felt like a small puppy in your arms, waiting for its master to pet it. It was taking all his resolve not to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss you, or even melt into your touch this easily. When did he become so whipped for you?

“You know,” You began a bit absent mindedly this time as you dropped your arms and took a step back from him. “You look very cute when you pout. But I don’t want you to be sad on my behalf, Gyu.”

Mingyu blinked at you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, me being sad isn’t your fault Mingyu. My breakups, getting wasted or even jumping into relationships so hastily isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

“What are you talking about, Y/N?”

You turned your back towards him and walked back to the dining table, carefully taking out the lunch boxes he had packed for you. “I see how you look after each break up. You look so hurt, more hurt than even I feel and somehow that hurts me more. I hate seeing you so hurt. It breaks me-” You inhaled sharply, trying to control the trembling in your voice. “I hate calling you each and every time, I hate leaning on you so much, I hate dumping all my sorrow over you. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I fucking hate it so much.”

“But- But” He began, still not sure what you were trying to say. His mind was in a whirl and it was hard getting out the thoughts in his head. “But I already told you many times that I don’t mind picking you up. I don’t mind being beside you whenever you go through these! If I don’t do these, then who will?”

“And I hate seeing you sad.” You finally turned to face him and Mingyu felt his heart drop. You were…crying? “If you stop being sad, then I don’t mind you coming over to me. Otherwise…I feel selfish. I always feel like an awful person and I hate feeling like this so much. I’ve just wanted you to be happy, you know that Gyu.

He snorted. “Well, you are being selfish. You can’t stop me from doing this much for you. Do all our years of friendship mean nothing to you?” What was wrong with you? Why were you saying such things to him? Each word that escaped your mouth felt like a slash on his heart, like all the things he had done for you as a friend, as a person he loved and trusted, had meant nothing to you.

“Gyu-”

“No, don’t start again! Don’t okay, don’t! You don’t get to decide what I feel or what I want to do for you! You are being selfish if you think it’s okay for me to stand back and watch you fall apart.”

“Mingyu, please listen to me-”

“If you care about my feelings then stop breaking up just like that!” He yelled. The silence that followed was almost deafening and as Mingyu watched your tears fall more, he realised that he too was crying. His whole body was shaking as he clenched his fists, feeling an anger he had never felt before coursing through his veins.

Why did he do that? Why did he say that? Why was he feeling so hurt over your statement? Yes, you were being selfish by telling him to stand back and watch you cry every time, whether he loved you romantically or not.

But it hurt him more that you were so ready to give him up was like a huge blow to him. And because of what, it made you sad?

He swallowed thickly, breathing in slowly as he tried to calm down his racing heart. “If- if you want me to be happy, focus on yourself first. After all, it was you who started it.”

“And one kilogram of cheddar cheese.” Wonwoo said, and Mingyu reached out to take the last slab of cheese kept in the open freezer, but instead he found himself holding someone else’s hand, who was holding the cheese he was about to grab.

He immediately jerked his arm back and turned to profusely beg for forgiveness, but froze when his eyes met the other person, who too was staring back at him with a look of shock.

Your eyes averted down to your shoes as you took a step back almost immediately, clutching the part of your wrist he had just held. And he would have kept staring at you, trying to think of something to say after last week’s fight if it wasn’t for the sudden crash sound from beside you that snapped both of you out of your daze.

Mingyu turned to his right to see a curly haired girl staring back at the trio, all the items that were once in her hand on the floor now.

“Ni!” You gasped, running towards the girl to help her pick up the things. Mingyu too moved forward to help but Wonwoo was the fastest among the three, picking up the groceries and handing them to her.

As she took it slowly from his hands, Mingyu all of a sudden realised that she wasn’t staring at all the three of them, she was staring at his roommate. At Wonwoo.

His eyes darted to you and you too wore an expression of shock and surprise, as your head moved between Ni and Wonwoo, as though finally understanding the situation.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked, the question snapping her out of her trance as she looked away, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Then turning back to him she nodded a little, before asking, “Are you okay?”

Wonwoo blinked at her for a second before she realised what she had just said, flushing once more as she furiously corrected herself again. “I-I mean, thanks a lot. For helping me, I mean.”

Mingyu looked at you once again and smirked, as you too mirrored back his expression. He very well could see where this situation was going and for once he hoped that Wonwoo wouldn’t screw it up.

“No problem.” Wonwoo said, before looking back at Mingyu. “So, uh, Mingyu should we-”

“Oh hey, are you sure you don’t want any help?” Mingyu interjected, signalling at Ni with his eyes, hoping she would get the hint. “Like um, do you want any help getting stuff from the top shelf because-”

because you are short? Was that rude? Was he overdoing it? But like he was blessed to have you as his best friend, you came to his rescue immediately. “Because you are short! And Wonwoo is tall! There’s nothing wrong in asking a sexy, handsome, tall man to help, right?”

Mingyu had always thought it was your charming personality and unearthly beauty that got you the long list of lovers but now he made a mental note to add smooth talker to it. Because while he was sure that if he had said that statement Wonwoo would have said no, he could literally see the wheels in his roommate’s brain turning as he mulled over your words.

“Sure.” He said, turning back to give Ni a smile. “Where’s your grocery list? I could help you.” Saying that he turned to look at you, tilting his head as he said something to you through his eyes. You pursed your lips a bit but looked at Ni and gave her a smile.

The two of them then disappeared down the aisle, leaving Mingyu alone with you, the coolness from the freezer all of a sudden disappearing as he felt the awkwardness settle in.

It had been a week since the argument the two of you had but none of you had made an approach to talk it out. And now seemed to be the perfect time to talk about it but once again the two of you just stared at the floor, waiting for each other to break the ice.

“Uh, so about that day…” You began, as both of you looked up at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, yeah, even I’m sorry so-”

“Well you shouldn’t be.” You interrupted him. Then taking in a deep breath, you stepped closer to him, looking down again. You looked so nervous and confused, as though you weren’t sure of how to apologise to him. “I mean, you shouldn’t be sorry because you were right. You were trying to help me, but, you know- I’m trying to sort out my feelings still, trying to find out what’s wrong and uh,-”

“Hey.” He said softly, putting his hands on your shoulder causing you to look up at him. You looked so sorry that Mingyu almost forgave you then and there. But he knew the two of you needed to talk it out so instead he said, “How about we talk about this after a few more days? I think we both are affected by this so I think we both should sort out our feelings and thoughts and then talk about it. You’re right, I do get hurt everytime I see and I know that hurts you too. But you very well know I can’t leave you like that, can I? If our roles were reversed you would do the same for me.”

You opened your mouth to say something but then closed it, slowly nodding as you let out a sigh and leaned in to rest your head on his shoulder. He felt his muscles tense as he inhaled in your scent, but relaxed almost immediately when you wrapped your arms around his waist. He did the same too, pulling you in closer as you stood like that for a few seconds before breaking the silence again with a chuckle.

“When did you become so mature, Mingoo?” You asked, causing him to groan. “Back when we were kids it was always me taking care of you. When did you grow up so much?”

“Hmmm, maybe if you took care yourself a little bit more-”

“Okay, okay!” You laughed, pulling away from him to look at him. You smiled at him softly, the familiar heat sparking in his heart as you nodded at him. “You are right. I promise I’ll get back to you in a few more days. Wait for me till then?”

I’m always waiting for you.

“You guys are terrible.” You groaned, tearing the wrapper of the triangular kimbap. You glared at five men sitting opposite to you individually, before taking a bite of food in your hand. “This is not what I had asked you all for!”

“Blame that on Mingyu.” Seungkwan grumbled, shooting a glare in his direction as he picked up a fish cake bar and unwrapped it, dipping it into his ramyeon cup.

Mingyu could feel the disappointed look of his friends on him, so he cleared his throat and tried to divert the blame away from him. “Come on guys. You all love eating at this convenience store. We’ve eaten so many times here during our college days! Doesn’t it bring back memories again? Just the five of us, meeting up after a month and enjoying a meal here? Can't you guys feel the nostalgia?”

He felt you slap his shoulder lightly, and he grabbed it with an exaggeration. hoping that would make you soft for him and you would stop scolding him so badly.

“Did I ask you to set up a reunion meeting? I asked you to pick a restaurant according to the guys’ convenience because I wanted to treat them!” You pursed your lips and glared at him once more, and the situation would have scared Mingyu out of his wits if he couldn’t hear Seokmin’s giggling from the corner.

“Sheesh.” He muttered, rubbing his shoulder. He was used to being blamed by the group for the simplest reasons such as breathing in the wrong way but he really hadn’t meant to mess up your well intentioned plans. “It’s fine, just eat up. Think that we cannot afford to eat at those pricey restaurants right now and eat up. Besides, I know you guys love this. Weren’t you craving cup ramyeon even yesterday, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo froze in the middle of slurping his noodles, before putting it down and saying, “I said I was craving your noodles.”

Mingyu let out a gasp, not expecting to be betrayed even by his own roommate, (it was evident Wonwoo hadn’t listened to his lecture about not betraying roommates) but it was swallowed by your laughter. He turned to look at you just as you stopped, chuckling at him as though still enjoying the joke.

The dim lights of the neon signboard hit you at an odd angle, but it was enough to make you look like an angel. You let out a giggle as he stared back at you, the smile growing on his face involuntarily. He could see the tiredness from the entire day’s work on your face, but you kept smiling back at him with such tenderness and love that Mingyu felt like his heart was going to explode.

Someone cleared their throat at the table, snapping both of you out of your daze and you immediately knitted your eyebrows back into a frown. “Oh gosh, Kim Mingyu! We could have been eating barbeque but now here we are stuck-” You said, shoving another fish cake packet to his face, “-eating this amazing, nostalgia inducing food!”

“Oh god, it brings back so many memories.” Seokmin sobbed, rubbing the corner of his (dry) eyes. Mingyu rolled his eyes at his friends’ dramatics, but he couldn’t help smiling at them. “It reminds me of the time Mingyu and I kissed.”

“Wha-” His voice was caught off as Seungkwan spat out the water he had been drinking, spluttering and gasping for breathe as Wonwoo thumped his back hurriedly. And even though Mingyu too was worried about him, the only thing he could do was let out a cry because unfortunately for him, he had been sitting opposite to the Seungkwan, causing all the spat out water to fall on his face.

“Seungkwan!” He cried as the table erupted in another round of laughter.

“Oh my god Mingyu, are you crying? Don’t cry baby!” Joshua asked, mischief laced in his voice. Of all the seats I could have sat on, why did I pick the one next to Joshua? Joshua grabbed a few napkins from the table and began dabbing it on his face, cleaning his ‘tears’. “Don’t cry, Gyu. We’ve got your back always.” Then dropping his voice a little, he added, “You know we’ve been joking from the very beginning right?”

Mingyu took the tissues from his hand as he nodded, a small laugh escaping him as he rubbed the rest of his face clean. “You guys are mental.”

Suddenly he felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around his torso, causing him to inhale sharply as you leaned against his body, glaring at the other guys. “Yeah, why are you pestering my poor baby?”

Oh god. Oh god. He tried to control his face from heating up, balling his fists so that he didn’t lose his senses due to your scent. Seungkwan must have noticed his sudden change in demeanour because he snorted and said, “That’s one big baby you have.”

“Besides,” Joshua said, pulling him away from your embrace and into his instead. “You were pestering him earlier too.”

“Getting pestered is just Mingyu’s love language.” You countered back. “But of course, it should be only by us. Right Gyu?”

“I don’t want to be pestered by any of you though?” He said, to which Joshua pressed his finger to his lips, shushing him. “If we don’t pester someone as nice as you, someone who can always laugh it off because he knows we are just joking and we actually love him, who else will we pester?”

“Wow,” Mingyu said sarcastically. “You guys are such angels. I love my friends who pester me!”

“I don’t pester you though?” Wonwoo said, causing ‘ey’s and ‘fucking liar’s to rise from around the table. He just laughed at them before raising his can of beer, saying, “To our friendship!”

“To our friendship.” Everyone echoed back, raising their drinks too, before taking a large sip of it.

Mingyu could feel the alcohol slowly settling in his system, a pleasant buzz tingling his entire self. The rest of the night passed by with such speed that one minute he was still eating and joking with his friends and in the next minute he found himself walking beside you, taking you back home.

He had insisted on walking you back home despite your refusal, because apart from knowing that it was dangerous for you to walk alone at night especially in this slightly intoxicated state, he also knew that his own mother would kill him if she came to know that he had let you go just like that.

Presently the two of you were walking through an uphill alley, you giggling at some old memory while he complained about the unfairness of it to you.

Suddenly you grabbed his arm, causing his heart to skip a beat as you jerked him towards you, looking at him with shining eyes.

“Gyu,” you whispered, even though there was no reason to do so, “Want to see something special?”

“Special?” He asked, his voice a little higher than he had expected it to be. Your face was so close to his that he could almost feel your breath against his neck, gulping slowly to control his breathing. “We- we have work tomorrow. Don’t you think it’s a bit too late-”

“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport.” You scolded him lightly, before smiling at him softly. He prayed to god that the warm, giddy sensation he was feeling in his body was due to the alcohol and not due to how you were smiling at him, eyes shining in a dangerous way as though you were about to show him a secret that was meant only for him.

“Okay.” He said, straightening up a bit so as to put some distance between the two of you. “But only if we come back within half an hour-”

“Oh, you can just crash in my house.” You said, all of a sudden giving him a light shove backwards. He looked at you in surprise as you suddenly took off, screaming at the top of your voice, “Race you to the top!”

“Why, you-” He began, before starting to run too, laughing at your dirty method of cheating. You knew you wouldn't be able to beat him, not when he had such long legs and had a much better stamina than you. But there was no way Mingyu was going to let you win, not when you had decided to win like this.

He caught up with you within a few seconds, throwing his arms around you as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You shrieked with laughter as the two of you stumbled, doing your best to break from his grip but all those days in the gym had truly paid off as all you could do was claw at his arms helplessly.

“Okay! Okay!” You yelled, gasping for breath because of how much you were laughing. “You win! You win, okay?” But he still didn’t let go, burying his face into your shoulder as he giggled continuously. He could feel that he was losing his grip on you because of his sides aching due to his laughter, but you felt so warm in his arms, your clothes really soft and smelling like you that it made him pull you into him even more.

In the back of his mind Mingyu wondered if the two of you were causing too much ruckus so late in the night, but all thoughts were pushed back when you suddenly turned in his arms to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Time slowed down as he felt his stomach drop as you beamed at him gently, a soft smile on your beautiful lips as you tilted your head a little, looking at him with nothing but pure adoration. He felt his arms instinctively tighten around your waist, his breath hitching slightly as you leaned into him, noses almost brushing.

“This is it.” You whispered, your breath ghosting his lips. His mind was swirling as his heart raced, sure you could feel it with how close you were pressed to him. You smelt so, so good; it was enough to cloud all of his judgement. His knees had turned completely jelly at the way you were gazing at him, mouth slightly apart and it took him all his willpower to not drop you as you leaned your entire weight on him.

“Wh- what is this?” He asked, finally finding his voice as he forced his mind to come back to the present. He had to focus. He couldn’t let himself sweep away because of this.

The corners of your lips curled up a little, an action Mingyu had always found endearing. “This is the special thing I wanted to show you.”

He blinked, trying to process your words. Tearing his eyes away from your face, he looked around slightly bewildered, still not understanding what you meant.

You laughed lightly, and he could feel your chest rapidly rising and falling against his. “No, you idiot. Don’t look around. Just look at me. Us. We are the special thing I wanted to show you.”

He inhaled sharply at your words, finally the meaning settling in.

You were right. What more could be special to him than the friendship between both of you? The two of you loved each other so much, admitted you loved him platonically, but still, it was such a beautiful thing. The two of your actions and mannerism had been shaped by each other’s influences. He carried a part of you just like you carried a part of him.

“You're right.” He said, exhaling slowly as your eyes fluttered due to his breath. “You are so special to me, Y/N. I- I love you so much Y/N. I love you so much.” His chest contracted painfully when he said those words but he knew if he didn’t say them, he would combust even if you didn’t get the second meaning of these innocent words.

You sighed contentedly in his arms, before wrinkling your eyebrows in a frown. Then taking in a deep breath you said, “Mingyu, I- I’m terribly sorry for yelling at you that day.”

“What?” He asked, a little taken aback as he hadn’t expected you to bring that conversation back up for a while, and certainly not now. You just dipped your head low, until your forehead was resting on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I messed up big time. And I made you feel that I was using you.”

Something caught his throat at your apology, so he just chose to keep quiet and listen to you, opting to rub small comforting circles on your back instead.

“It’s just that I felt really bad seeing you look so sad on my behalf. Because of me. And I know I asked you back then to pick me up, not to feel hurt but you were right. Because like you said, even if it happened to you I would feel upset. Whether or not you ask me to stay out of it.” You finally looked up at him, lips slightly apart as your eyes ran all over his face. Even though you weren’t crying, he could see that your eyes had turned glossy. “And you were right. I know we already talked about this but still it was half assed so I feel like you deserve this apology. I want you to know that I’m truly sorry and I don’t want you to get hurt. The best way to make sure you aren’t getting hurt is to by making sure I just don’t jump into relationships. I was never a thousand percent sure of any of my relationships so far and yet I went into them and they all resulted in the same way. So I’m going to wait for the one that I’m a thousand percent sure about and only then go for it. How does that sound?”

“Good.” He said, giving you a small smile. “I just want you to be happy and take care of yourself, okay?”

You smiled back at him and nodded, before pushing yourself away from his grip. His disappointment at the loss of warmth soon disappeared when you grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, until you were leading him into an empty park.

“This,” You said pointing at the sky. “Is what I actually wanted to show you by the way.”

“You…wanted to show me the moon? Something we could have seen from your rooftop and reduced the risk of freezing to death while walking through some lonely street?”

“Hahaha. Very funny. I’m pointing at the stars.”

He blinked at you, pretending to look offended. “I thought you said we were the special thing you wanted to show me?”

“Yeah, that too. But since you have a very kind and considerate best friend, I even wanted to show you the stars. And as a sorry for the bitch I was.” If you had said this in an alternate universe where Mingyu and you were dating, he might have dropped some flirty comment about you being the brightest star in his eyes or something but since he wasn’t, he decided to keep it to himself instead.

He followed your suit and craned his neck to see the night sky, not finding a single speck of light in the ink black sheet overhead.

“There’s no stars, though?” He asked amusedly, watching you as you swore and kept turning your head, as though changing the angle of observation might help you find one. “I did tell you years ago that light pollution has made it impossible, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I know.” You muttered, still searching for them (Mingyu found it endearing on how persistent you were of showing him the stars and would have fallen for you more if he wasn’t already completely enamoured by you). “I just- I just thought since this was uphill and was a little empty it might be a good spot.”

That statement caught him off surprise. “You searched up for this place?”

Finally you gave up with a sigh, walking towards him in a dejected manner. “Yeah, yeah I did. I knew you would walk me home so I spent the entire night yesterday on Google Earth trying to find a good spot.” Your shoulder slumped a little as you sat down on a bench, Mingyu following suit. “I guess I should have come here physically and checked it before getting you here. Or looked around more on foot instead.”

“What the hell, I literally just told you it’s dangerous for you to roam around in the night on your own.” He said but it didn’t remove the pout from your face.

“I just wanted to show you how truly sorry I am. That I really, really want you to be happy.”

He reached over and grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze. It was surprisingly warm despite how much the temperature had dropped, and he hoped that you too could find comfort in his warmth.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I already forgave you when you said you would finally prioritise yourself. Besides, I can already see Orion up there.”

“What?” You asked, your head snapping up. “Where?”

Mingyu laughed at your eagerness, before you let out a ‘Hey!’ and punched him lightly. “Oh please. You are forgetting that I’m an artist. The best artist you've seen, right?” He wondered for a second if you still remembered that incident from twenty years ago, when you had claimed that he was the best artist you had ever seen.

Your lips stretched into a smile at the memory, causing his heart to jump that it was not only him that remembered such trivial things of your friendship.

“Yeah,” You muttered, tightening your grip on his hand as you gently rested your head on his shoulder. “You are the best artist I’ve ever known. Will always be.”

As Mingyu rested his head against yours and closed his eyes, he realised just how special the word us was.

“Good morning, handsome.”

Mingyu swivelled on his chair at this weird greeting, only to find Seokmin leaning against the glass door frame, arms crossed over his chest with a rather flirty smirk on his face. He just groaned and rolled his eyes while Joshua just let out a small laugh.

“What?” Seokmin asked, looking offended as his smile suddenly dropped, as though his girlfriend had just called him ugly.

“Go back to work, Seokmin. Don’t you and Seungkwan have any sound effects to add to the last game?” Mingyu asked.

Seokmin just stuck his tongue out, before walking over to Joshua, who was still laughing at his antiques. “I wasn’t even talking to you. I was greeting Shua.” He said, and Mingyu rolled his eyes once again.

“What brings you here?” Joshua asked, picking up one of the hundred cups of coffee he and Mingyu had kept in between them and handing it over to Seokmin. But Seokmin just shook his head, opting to take Mingyu’s sandwich instead. He raised his eyebrows a little at Mingyu, asking if he could eat it and the latter nodded. Seokmin took a bite of it, chewing slowly before sitting down on an empty chair.

“Sorry, can't really drink coffee much nowadays. And I already had one in the morning. Apparently it dries out your vocal folds and mucus.” He said. “Makes working for the entire day hard but what else can I do if we are so broke that us sound engineers itself need to record and compose apart from our usual role?”

“Don’t let Wonwoo hear you about us being broke.” Mingyu chuckled, before remembering about the other person in the sounds department. “Oh my god, how is Seungkwan surviving then?”

“He says if he drinks it in excess it will nullify the effect.”

“Oh shit, Seungkwan’s going to retire even before we hit mid life crisis.” Joshua joked.

Seokmin too smiled before pointing at all the coffee cups on their desks. “Well looking at all those cups, I can say the same about the graphics department to be honest.”

“Oh this?” Mingyu asked, pointing at the cups. “This isn’t for us, it's for watering the plants.”

“Heh.” Seokmin said, before standing up once he had done with the sandwich. “Then you guys will need more of it because we just got a whole new batch of houseplants.” He placed a file on their desk, clearly another new project, before saying, “God bless Y/N. She’s the best salesperson we’ve ever had.”

“Y/N gave this?” Mingyu asked in amusement, picking up the file to go through it. “She trusts us too much, considering the fact I already told her we still haven’t finished the last client’s game yet.”

“It’s fine.” Joshua said, leaning back against his chair. “He’s a nice author. He literally told me, ‘It took me a lot of time to come with this huge storyline so I know it will take you guys even more time’.”

“I wish Wonwoo would hire Y/N though.” Seokmin groaned. “He’s a great programmer and all but I just don’t get why he hates her so much. He was pretty fine with her at the beginning.”

Mingyu felt his cheeks burn as Joshua said, “Isn’t it obvious? He can’t stand seeing Y/N use Mingyu even if she’s clueless. Personally, sometimes when Mingyu’s giving her puppy eyes, I want to scream, cry, throw up and shake her until she starts seeing his feelings.”

“Looks like Wonwoo isn’t the only blind one among us.”

Mingyu snorted at this, before adding, “I don’t give her puppy eyes by the way.”

“You really don’t know yourself then. You always looked like a dog to me.” Seokmin commented.

“Wow. Wow. I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“Think whatever you want. Just because all those girls line up to see your biceps at the gym doesn’t mean I think you are handsome.”

“Are you salty that you had one less fan girl than Mingyu, Seokmin?” Joshua asked sweetly to which Seokmin just laughed. “No way, I have a girlfriend and they all know it. Me and Seungkwan are committed to our beautiful girlfriends. It’s always the two of you flexing your biceps a little too hard in front of them. At least Wonwoo is chad about it and not like you bitchless losers.”

“Oh no, are you forgetting Wonwoo’s new date? That cute girl he met at the grocery store? Also, it's not our fault you guys managed to find love at high school and college. Adult life wasn’t the fun and thrills they had promised us.” Mingyu complained. “Besides, I’m in a life long one sided love with my other best friend, not my fault.”

“Yeah, and I had a girlfriend too.” Joshua said, to which Mingyu and Seokmin deadpanned at him.

“You mean you had a hook up with Wonwoo’s ex-secretary.”

“And she just quit the next day. Out of the blue. And no one would have known if Wonwoo didn’t grill us on if we did something to her. Hell he even made you write a thousand times that you will not have office sex. You are lucky it's just the five of us here.”

Joshua raised his arms defensively. “Hey, I told you I don’t know why she quit. I never forced her to do anything. I would never. But the question should be why does Wonwoo need a secretary when he’s actually at the same level as us? Just because opening a gaming company was his initial idea doesn’t mean that he is the CEO now. We all contributed.”

“Are we all rebelling against Wonwoo today?” Mingyu asked with a giggle.

Seokmin pointed at the door. “Should I go get Seungkwan?”

“Instead of the secretary, Wonwoo could have hired Y/N. Wasn’t she the topper of her class? I aspire to achieve her dedication.” Joshua said.

“In fact, she dropped this file personally this morning. Asked me to imitate her and wish you ‘handsome men’ a good morning once it got clearance from Wonwoo.”

Mingyu’s mouth fell open in disgust. “You tried imitating her? God, that was so bad I thought you were flirting with us. You captured her horribly.”

Joshua pointed at Mingyu with wide eyes as he laughed. “See? This is why Wonwoo won't hire Y/N. She could straight up rob us and Mingyu will jump to her defence even then.”

He rolled his eyes at them and finally looked down at the file in his hands, trying to skim through the content. Suddenly he felt bile rise up his throat and constrict his air passage as he read more and more, stomach dropping at the rather familiar storyline.

“Oh my god, it’s so frustrating!” Seokmin cried, frustratingly wiping away his nonexistent tears. “Why won’t Y/N look at you?”

“Don’t you guys start too.” Mingyu mumbled, turning back to his desk. He had finally finished reading the storyline of the new game and the frustration of the scene suddenly hit as the air around him changed to seriousness, all the humour from before gone.

“What’s wrong?” He heard Joshua ask but he just shook his head, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“I’m sorry guys. We need to get back to work.” He said, before switching his computer back on. Through the corner of his eyes he saw Joshua pick up the file and lean in to read, Seokmin peering at it over his shoulders.

“Oh…” Seokmin said after some time. “Mingyu, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t” He let out a humourless laugh. “Don’t. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No, you are not.” Joshua began angrily. “If Y/N would just-”

“Just drop it please.” He cut Joshua off, closing his eyes as he buried his face in his palm. If Y/N could this, if Y/N could that, if only he was a bit more bolder-

“Even a game character manages to confess his love to his best friend and end up together. Just how- just how pathetic am I?”

He could feel his friend’s sad stares on his back and it just worsened his mood. Every bit of him just wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

Why couldn’t he fall out of love with you? Why couldn’t he just stop loving you? Why did you have to be so goddamn perfect in every way that no matter how hard he tried, he still ended up pining for you?

“It’s just a game.” He said, his voice thicker than he had expected it to be. “It’s just a game. Let’s go back to work.”

“This isn’t a date, by the way.” Mingyu clarified, causing the girl sitting opposite to him to give him a dry look.

“It’s not. It’s a self realisation therapy from your pathetic love life.” She said, slicing into her meat. Mingyu winced at her words but couldn’t say anything back because, well, she was right.

When Minghao had learnt that Y/N had broken up with her umpteenth boyfriend, he had decided to take matters into his own hand and asked (read: forced) Mingyu to go on a date with none other than Joshua’s sister, Julia.

“If Joshua finds out you’re having a dinner date with me, you’re dead.” She said, as though being able to read his mind.

“And if Wonwoo finds out I’m having a dinner date with his new secretary, I’m dead. In other words, I’m in a risky position of being murdered by my best friends.”

At this, Julia laughed, the mood of the table finally changing from annoyance at being forced to randomly go on a ‘date’ to that of one Mingyu was used to whenever he used to play with her everytime he would come over to Joshua’s house.

“It’s okay Dr. Black. I’ll find the culprit and make sure he gets what he deserves. You know how good I’m at Cluedo.”

“Yeah.” Mingyu said with a smile at the memory of the younger girl always defeating them at the murder mystery board game. “But the problem is Wonwoo is too smart while Joshua’s really creative. It might be hard for you to guess who did it.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sure all twelve of them want you to be alive for a very long time so that you can get married to Y/N and grow old and boring with her.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“By the way, I’m amazed by all of their deduction skills. Except the four who always hang out with me, I mean. How did they all come to know?”

“Duh.” She rolled her eyes at him. “It was so obvious that even Soonyoung didn’t need to blabber away. Hell, even I knew it before you realised it.”

“Wow, thanks.” He muttered. “Good to know that I’m obvious to everyone except that one person I wish would know.”

Julia chuckled, shaking her head a little. “You are to blame too. You always run to her beck and call no matter what.”

“That’s because-” Mingyu opened his mouth to explain but she just raised her hand, cutting him off.

“Don’t give me that crap about doing everything for your best friend. Because yes, you should be doing a lot of things for your best friend. But there’s a limit to everything, Mingyu. Knowingly or unknowingly, she’s trampling on your feelings. Excess of even good things isn’t healthy for us.”

His eyes dropped to his food, which suddenly felt unappetizing. He swallowed the food stuck in his throat, feeling a bad taste in his mouth.

“But I- But I just don’t know how to tackle this.” He whispered, and Julia reached out to hold his hand lightly. He looked up at her and saw the sadness and sympathy in her eyes.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “It’s okay, Mingyu. We all come across situations where we might feel like we are being trampled by the person we love in some way or the other, even if it’s not their intention. And you know why that happens? Because in that scenario, they aren’t communicating with each other. But all relationships are made on understanding. How can the two of you even be friends if you can’t understand each other? And yet, it is not within our power to be able to completely understand every feeling, emotion and thought of the other person. At that time, you need to communicate. You need to speak out. Ever thought of dropping hints?”

He stared at her. “ You…want me to confess to her?”

She shook her head once more.“Not confess, silly. Stay completely away from Y/N for a week or two. Sort out your thoughts. And then approach her. Objectively speak out your thoughts and feelings to her. She might be taken aback by it but it’s okay, give her some time. She’ll get back to you.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” Mingyu asked. His eyes must have been showing his fear because she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before drawing it and sitting back.

“Well then she’s not the one for you, nor is she a good friend. Whether she says yes or no doesn’t matter. And judging by how you are always by her side whenever she has a breakup, I’m sure you can accept her no too. But if she runs away without any proper response, then well it’s time to move on. You are a wonderful person, Mingyu. We all want the best for you.”

He gulped. “I know. I know. But it’s just so- just so hard, you know. I just feel like I’ll lose her. I just feel like I’ll lose.”

“Lose what?”

“Y/N. My love. My best friend. My everything.”

“You mean you feel like you are a lose-her.”

“Julia.” He said, though he couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But don’t worry. In that one week you’ll stay away from her to organise yourself, I’ll be there with you and help you out. And I’ll make sure all the twelve of us do. You have to, Mingyu. You have to. You have to take a break from her. And think about everything clearly.”

He smiled at her more brightly this time, head clearing up. She was right. “Yeah, yeah. I will. I will, don’t worry. What would I do without you? What would we do without you?”

“I know right.” She said, all the seriousness from a minute ago gone as she stuffed an entire piece of bread in her mouth. “This is why Minghao set you up on a date with me.”

“For the last time,” Mingyu groaned, “this isn’t a date. It’s a self realisation therapy from my pathetic love life.”

“-self realisation therapy from your pathetic love life.”

The two of them stared at each other as they said the exact same thing at the same time, before bursting out into laughter.

“See?” Julia said after a while, laughter slowly bubbling away. “You are already getting better as you slowly realise.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mingyu said. “Now let’s just hope Wonwoo or Joshua doesn’t kill me tomorrow itself when they find out about today’s plan.”

“By the way,” She said, biting into the last morsel of bread. “I’m curious about my job offer. Why did Wonwoo ask me if I wanted to become his secretary? Not that I’m complaining since I’ve always been envious of the projects Seokmin, Seungkwan, Joshua and you used to do but yeah, I’m just curious because this was quite sudden.”

“Oh that.” Mingyu coughed, not sure how he was supposed to answer this question when it could lead to his partial balding in case Julia pulled his hair in anger. “So, um, Joshua. He, uh, he had sex with Wonwoo’s old secretary so I guess he wants you to keep an eye on-”

“He did what?!” She spluttered, proceeding to stand up and then froze, eyes looking at something behind Mingyu in horror.

Just as Mingyu was about to turn to see what had happened, someone behind him let out a yell.

“Taehyung, I already told you no!”

The familiar voice caused him to turn faster than he had expected, and he nearly jumped out of his seat to get to you. In two strides he was by your side, yanking the man’s hand away from your arm.

He could feel your shocked face on him but he ignored it, choosing the focus on the man in his grip who was making his blood seethe in anger. “What the fuck,” he said, his voice coming out much lower than he had expected, “Do you think you are doing?”

“And who the fuck are you?” The man glared, trying to yank his hand out of Mingyu’s grasp but he just tightened it, not letting the man budge even a bit. Through the corner of his eyes, he could see a few staff come over to them to break the fight, but all he could see was red, especially when your next few words came out in a scared whisper.

“G-Gyu.” You whispered and he felt a small tugging at his elbow. “You don’t have to-”

“Gyu? Oh, so you are Gyu? Well fuck off asshole before I beat the shit out of you for ending everything between us.”

“We ended because of you.” You said and Taehyung snarled at you, causing Mingyu to give his hand another squeeze, diverting Taehyung’s attention back to him.

“You were just fucking paranoid, you bastard. Don’t even try to blame it on others. Y/N’s better off without you.”

“Oh yeah?” He sneered. “And how would you know that considering the fact you are the reason we broke up?”

What? As if I could even make a move on Y/N. But instead he said, “Is that so? Well good for her then. My girlfriend doesn’t need to date insecure idiots like you.”

Mingyu felt the air around him drop as the three people around him (Julia had managed to pry you off him) stared at him, but he just prayed that you wouldn’t look very surprised and give away the lie.

In fact, he was sure Taehyun would begin laughing at their faces but that seemed to do the trick. His eyes darted between Mingyu and you, sputtering out words as his face reddened with each passing second.

“You- you- you cheater!” He began, pointing an accusing finger at you. “You liar, you slu-”

“That’s enough.” Mingyu growled, grabbing Taehyung’s collar to drag him out of the restaurant, which wasn’t so hard considering the differences in their builds (he never thought that going to the gym would help him out in this way). Once outside, he let go of the other man, eyeing him disgustedly.

“Stay away from Y/N.” He said flatly, pushing the man a little when he tried to hurl himself at Mingyu. He saw Julia and you come down through the stairs slowly, the former holding you gently as you made your way down. “If not, I’ll call the police on you and maybe even get a restraining order.”

“Fuck, a restraining order just because I want to get back to her? You are as fucking messed up as that bitch.” He growled.

“I will call the police right now if you don’t stop calling my girlfriend names like that. Besides, what you are doing is stalking. So get lost now before I actually remove the front two teeth of yours.”

Holding his wrist gingerly, Taehyung gave the trio another disgruntled group, before turning the other direction and walking away, muttering something about mental people ending up together.

As Mingyu watched his figure disappear down the street, he could feel the adrenaline rush quickly disappearing from his veins. The cool night air pressed against him as he felt his body temperature finally come down from its previous risen state, chest rising up and down as he tried to control his breathing slowly.

Mingyu turned to look at you, and felt his heart clench painfully as he took in your shrunken appearance, nodding vigorously as Julia whispered into your ear, rubbing circles on your back. Walking up to you, he took your hands in his and sighed, before asking, “Are you okay?”

Your eyes darted to his and stayed there, lips slightly parted, taking in his features as though it was the first time you were seeing him. You stared at him for a few seconds before Mingyu asked again, feeling worry cloud his mind. “Y/N?”

Saying your name seemed to snap you out of your trance as you jerked away from him, removing your hands from his as you rubbed your arms.

“Yeah.” You said, your voice strained as your eyes roamed over his face with an unreadable expression. Now he was getting really worried. What else had Taehyung done to you? Had it happened before? Though Mingyu knew about your obsessive ex, you had never mentioned to him about Taehyung disturbing you before.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said, finally looking down. “Thank you for pretending to be…my boyfriend.” The way you said ‘my boyfriend’ sounded foreign to Mingyu’s ears, like you were having difficulty pronouncing it. It did hurt him a bit but he was more preoccupied by the way you were acting.

He sighed, taking off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. “You are not fine.”

“I- I-” You opened your mouth to speak but then closed it, as though still trying to figure out whether or not you were okay. Mingyu could see your mind running in a million different directions so he figured it would be better if you could slowly jot down your thoughts in a more comfortable place.

Turning to Julia, he said, “I’m taking Y/N back home. I’ll drop you on the way, okay?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll take a cab. Don’t worry about me. Just get Y/N back home safely, okay?” She said, already taking out her phone to book an Uber. With a jolt, Mingyu suddenly realised how much Julia had grown up and that she was no longer the small girl who used to peep into her older brother’s room through the curtains.

“Okay. But give me a call when you reach, okay?” He said as she waved them goodbye before getting into the taxi. Then turning to you, he gave his hand and you took it, though you were avoiding his eyes once more.

Even the ride back to your place was filled with silence and though Mingyu wanted to ask you about what had just happened, he could feel that your thoughts were completely preoccupied. It was only when he parked the car in front of your house did you speak up.

“Gyu.” You said, finally turning to look at him. He froze when he saw glassy your eyes were, your bottom lip trapped by your teeth as you bit onto it to prevent yourself from crying.

“Y/N?” He asked worriedly, grabbing your hand with one hand as he cupped your face with the other. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Is it Taehyung? Did he hurt you? Has he done it before? When did it-”

“It’s not him.” You said with a sniffle, screwing your eyes shut as the first tear fell, leaning into Mingyu’s touch. He felt his heart squeeze painfully and he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb. “It’s not him. Don’t worry about him, it’s- He just happened to meet me here today and he started acting like that but it’s- but it’s-”

“It’s what?” Mingyu asked gently and you opened your eyes to look at him. Taking in another shuddering breath to control your tears, you said, “I- I just realised something this evening. And I- and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Worry grew in him as he took in your words. “What is it? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” You whispered, shaking your head. You placed your other hand on his and gave it a squeeze, as though trying to find comfort in his touch. “I don’t even know how to say it though. I- I think I will mess it up.”

“Okay. Okay. It’s okay.” He whispered, slowly rubbing small circles on the back of your hand in an attempt to calm you down. “Breath with me. Breath Y/N. It’s going to be okay. I’m there right here. I’ll always be there for you.”

“I know. I know. I just- don’t know what to do about it.” You rambled, still crying.

Mingyu’s mind was in a whirlwind. For the first time in twenty years, he couldn’t understand what you were talking about, what you were implying or what was making you cry.

It was certainly not Taehyung. And it was definitely not something he had said or else you would have been uncomfortable around him. So what had happened this evening that had broken you down like this?

“Gyu.” You sobbed, leaning into the crook of his neck as you buried your face in his shoulder. “Gyu, I’m so sorry for this. I’m so so sorry.” Sorry for what? “Promise me you’ll never hate me. I can never hate you too. I’ll love you forever. But promise me you’ll love me forever too. No matter what happens.

“I promise.” He said, the only response from you being your sobs getting louder as you dug your fingers into his shoulder deeply. And unlike all the other promises Mingyu had made to you, he intended to keep this one.

“Hi.” Mingyu said with a smile, extending his umbrella over your head as he came and stood beside you. Though you were not getting wet, he could see that you were shivering slightly from the cold, rubbing your arms as the rain dripped from the narrow beam sheltering you and fell into the puddle forming right in front of both of you.

You looked up at him just as you sucked in a breath sharply, staring at him with such wide eyes that your pupils were completely blown out. He cocked his head to a side worriedly, smile faltering a little as you continued to stare at him.

“Y/N?” He asked softly, taking a step closer until he could wrap an arm around your waist. “Are you okay?”

You blinked at him, looking away shyly as you muttered a small ‘yeah’, finger digging into your arms as you tried hiding your face from him. Mingyu frowned, taken aback by the sudden change of behaviour. Were you shy in front of him?

“Hey.” He said, this time a bit more louder as he gently tugged you towards him until he was practically hugging you, resting his chin on top of your head. He moved his arm up to your elbow, rubbing small circles on it, causing you to let out a sigh as you finally turned to him, burying your face into his neck. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You muttered, wrapping your arms around his torso as though trying to engulf yourself in his warmth completely. He felt his heart squeeze at your endearing action, a chuckle escaping him as he let you stay in that position, enjoying the sound of rain.

“Is it Taehyung?” He finally asked, breaking the silence after a while. Your head shot up as you looked at him in surprise, as though caught completely off guard by his question. “Tae- What? No! Of course not. Don’t worry, I haven’t had the time to think about him.”

Mingyu hummed in response, asking you to go on. You rested your head against his shoulder once again, pausing a little as though thinking about how to go on. “I’ve been thinking about…something. Something else. A lot of things actually, so uh, I’ve been feeling tired for the past few days.”

“Care to tell me what’s running in your pretty head so that I can lessen your burden?” He felt you relax into his touch but then stiffen almost immediately, slowly slipping out of his grip. He let the arm holding you drop as you made some space between the two of you, still close enough for him to feel your body warmth.

He watched you with worry as you chewed on your lips, before looking at him with a rather obviously forced smile. “Nope, you unfortunately can’t.” You said, the smile still plastered on your face. “It’s work related so of course it’s out of your domain.”

“Okay…” He said slowly, still uncertain but deciding to drop the subject for now. “So, uh, you said Chaewon wanted to see me?”

“She wanted to see us.” You corrected and even though you had meant it as a joke, Mingyu’s mind couldn’t help but replay that night when you had said us was the special thing you had wanted to show and he felt his heart lighten up a bit at the reminder of it.

But in front of you, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, us. Why did she want to meet us?”

You shrugged. "Said she had to give us somethi-"

"Mingyu!" Someone called him just as he felt a new arm drape around his neck, its owner wedging herself between him and you. He blinked for a second as the heavy smell of perfume and loss of warmth overtook him, before smiling back at the woman flashing all her teeth at him. "How are you?"

"I'm good. What about you, Chaewon?" He asked, gently detaching himself from her powerful grip. "How's work?"

"It's being a pain in the ass so of course I'm not fine." She said with a laugh that Mingyu too returned (politely). “Anyways, I’ve got a surprise for both of you!”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve been going on and on about the surprise but what is it actually? You said, rolling your eyes a bit. Mingyu had never realised how cute you looked when you were annoyed but right now, you looked absolutely adorable, with your eyebrows slightly knotted together as you huffed out a breath.

“So…” Chaewon drawled, looking at either of them once before pulling out something from her pocket. “I got you us tickets for the 9Muses!”

Mingyu blinked at her, feeling his cheeks pull into a smile as a new found excitement erupted in his heart. “Wait- 9Muses? Really?”

Chaewon smiled back at him superiorly as she waved four tickets in front of his face. “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m awesome. You can thank me later on when you and your future girlfriend finally hit off.”

The last statement caused him to pause, eyes darting to you as a force of habit before looking back at Chaewon in surprise. “Future…girlfriend?”

She meant you, right? It wasn’t the first time people had mistaken the two of you for a couple but Chaewon had known you since college which could only mean that she was referring to-

“I’ve set you up for a blind date!” She said excitedly, but Mingyu could feel the colour draining from his face as an ugly sensation rose up his throat. “That’s why I actually have four tickets-”

“You did what?” You asked, causing him to look at you in surprise. You were looking at Chaewon in complete shock with your mouth slightly open, as though you could not believe what she had just done. Chaewon too seemed to be taken aback by your reaction, because her next few sentences came out in a stammer.

“I- I thought- You told me you were sad that Mingyu was never in a relationship so I thought- “

“I-” You began, but stopped when you looked at him, immediately averting your eyes to the ground instead. Something was wrong. Something was bothering you from the very beginning but Mingyu could tell that something about this proposal had upset you even more. But what was it? Did you not want to go to the concert?

“Yeah. Yeah I did say that.” Then looking up at him, you gave him a smile, though he could see that you were battling with something deep inside. “You should totally take that person out as you date. Who knows, you both might hit it off really well, huh?”

Even though he had prepared himself for this very situation many times before, these words coming from you still hit him with a blow. It had been years since he had gone on a date with your friend Suji and yet it still hurt him freshly that you were this eager to give him away to someone else so readily. He was still okay with you always dating someone else but everytime you would try to get him to go out with someone, it would hurt him even more.

But instead, he smiled back at you and nodded to your words. “Yeah, who knows? We might actually end up dating.”

You laughed at his statement, hitting him on the shoulder lightly. “Oh my god, I can’t wait to babysit my nephews and nieces.”

“Excuse me?” Mingyu gasped, giving you a look of disgust. “That’s too far, don’t you think?”

“Well, you are such a gentleman that it would be stupid for anyone to let you go.” Chaewon commented with a smile and Mingyu felt his cheeks heat up a little.

“It’s nothing like that.” He muttered. He felt you reach out for his hand and give it a squeeze, causing him to look at you. You smiled at him softly, before saying, “Don’t say that, Gyu. You are the kindest and sweetest person in this world. Anyone would want to be with a wonderful person like you.”

Then why don’t you want to?

But before he could retort to your compliment that had him almost weak in his knees, Chaewon clapped both of you on your backs. “Okay, then! It’s decided. I’ll send you the details later on, Mingyu. See you on Sunday!”

“Yeah, bye!” Mingyu waved at the two of you as Chaewon produced an umbrella (practically out of nowhere) and wrapped an arm around you and darted across the street. He watched the two of you with a smile as you struggled to keep up with your friend’s pace, finally breaking free from her grasp when you both reached the other end. Turning back, you waved at him one final time before slipping into your car.

He waited for your car to completely disappear down the street before stepping out into the rain himself, his heart weighing down more and more with each step he took.

Time to brace yourself again, Mingyu.

“Perfume. Check. Breath mints. Check. Keys. Check.” Mingyu muttered, going over his things that he was supposed to carry one last time before he actually left. Glancing at the mirror one last time, he smiled to himself, patting down his hair to fix his hairstyle.

Be happy, Mingyu! You are going to a 9Muses concert. And you look fine.

Then why doesn’t Y/N think I look good?

The very reminder of you brought up the bile to his throat, his smile dropping almost immediately as he let out a sigh. Exhausted, he crashed onto his sofa massaging his throbbing temples that had been hurting ever since Friday due to his complicated thoughts.

He was going to go to the concert of his favourite band. With you. And with a pretty girl that could potentially be his future girlfriend if things went well tonight.

Then why did he feel like throwing up at the very thought of holding someone else’s hand that wasn’t you? Why did his skin crawl at the thought of smiling, laughing and flirting with someone that wasn’t you?

He felt so sick that a small part of him didn’t even want to go to the concert now. The fact that he would be on a date with another girl with you right beside him was suffocating him so much that he really felt like he was going to die.

He could feel himself shrinking back to his fifteen year old self, when he was on a date and he felt like throwing up. Back then he didn’t know why. But now that he did, it felt even more worse.

Mingyu glanced at the clock on his wall, before closing his eyes to calm himself down. He still had an hour to go and pick up Yoobin and then drive to the concert. If he could just-

The doorbell suddenly rang, jerking him out of his thoughts and he sat up straight, frozen as to what to do next.

Who could it be at this time? He wasn’t expecting anyone. It certainly wasn’t Wonwoo as he had gone for a week to live with his parents. Lately, there had been a lot of burglaries in his neighbourhood. It couldn’t be…?

“Snap out of it.” He muttered, slapping himself lightly before getting up to go and get the door. He was sure that it was a dinner delivery at the wrong address and swung open the door, ready to tell the delivery man he was at the wrong house.

But when he opened the door, he found himself staring at you, you who were completely dressed up for the concert and definitely not supposed to be here, you who looked so stunning that Mingyu momentarily forgot to speak until you broke the silence.

“Don’t go out with her.”

“What?” Mingyu asked, snapping out of his reverie as he tried processing your statement. What were you talking about?

You took a step closer to him and repeated your statement. “Don’t go out with her. Yoobin. Don’t go out with her.”

You reached out to him but all he could react to your statement was by taking a step back instead, feeling even more confused about what you were talking about.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” He asked. You opened your mouth and closed it, before taking in another step towards him so that you were inside the house now.

Taking in a shaky breath, you whispered. “Please don’t go out with her, Gyu. I know it’s very selfish of me but I-”

Swiftly, Mingyu closed the door behind you before pulling you close to him by your waist, cupping your face in his hands. “Hey,” he whispered, as you froze in his touch, eyes going glassy with tears. He could feel himself panicking at the thought that maybe someone had hurt you badly but he tried to keep himself calm. “What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong, love. You’ve been acting so different these few days and now this-”

“It’s because I love you.” You choked, tears finally streaming down your cheeks. “I love you, Gyu. I love you. I love you so, so much.”

Now it was Mingyu’s time to freeze. His brain seemed to slow down by a million years as a loud ringing filled his ears instead, stomach dropping like he was on a roller coaster. What did you just say?

You covered his hands with yours, gently removing them from your cheeks and holding them in yours instead as you whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry Mingyu. I know I’m really selfish but please don’t go out-”

The rest of your rambling was completely cut off as he smashed his lips against yours, fireworks immediately exploding in his heart. He felt you drop his hands as you wrapped it around his arms, fingernails digging into his skin as you held onto him while you kissed him back as passionately as he was kissing you. Every bit of Mingyu’s perception was drowned out as you took over his senses, and the only thing he could think and feel was you, you and you.

He ran his one hand fervently against your back while the other pulled you impossibly closer by your waist. His entire skin tingled as you ran your mouth over his again and again, tangling your finger in his locks.

Mingyu couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t believe it. If it wasn’t for the excess blood pumping to his ears and his heart threatening to swell and burst out of love and happiness, he would have been sure that this was just a dream.

Finally, you pulled away, gasping for breath, and the loss of warmth caused him to chase after your lips, desperate to get back that euphoric feeling of kissing you.

You laughed lightly as you placed a hand over his chest to stop him, tears once again flowing down your cheeks. Mingyu rested his forehead against yours, cupping your face gently with one hand as you leaned in to his touch even more.

“I waited for you so long.” He whispered, and you screwed your eyes shut, nodding to his statement. “I loved you for so, so long. So long.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered back, opening his eyes to look at him. “I’m so sorry I never realised I loved you and even when I did, I didn’t approach you.”

At this, Mingyu shook his head, resting both of his hands on the small of your back as you cupped his face, staring at him so softly and with so much love that he could feel his knees going weak. “Don’t apologise. I just- I just wish that I had kissed you in a more romantic setting-”

“Oh, Gyu.” You said, brushing your lips against his, causing his brain to short circuit once again. “This was the best kiss I’ve ever had. It’s you who made it so romantic. Doesn’t matter that I barged into your house an hour before we left.”

“I think it should matter.” He said with a pout. “After all, you did barge into my house.”

You pressed a quick kiss on his lips in response. “And what should I do to make up for it, baby?”

Mingyu didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with you more than he already was but somehow, impossibly, you calling him baby had him falling for you even more. The entire world around him had dimmed as he could see only your face, eyes shining and lips quirked in a cocky smile.

He didn’t even realise he was staring at you until you reached up and kissed him softly again, closing his mouth that had been slightly open. “Gyu.” You murmured. “I asked you a question.”

“Huh?” He asked, too busy kissing you back. Was your heart supposed to dance like this whenever you kissed someone? He wasn’t even sure if his stomach dropping so much as your hands ran over his back was a good sign.

“I asked what I should do to make it up to you.”

Oh. His eyes flicked to your lip gloss smudged lips, which were swollen and this time Mingyu felt a different kind of feeling spark in his heart. A desire to ruin you even more.

“Well,” he said, kissing the corner of your lips. “You could let me worship you.” Another kiss on your jawline, causing you to sigh. The sound shot up a shiver down his spine and he wondered if he would be able to survive even the night. “Let me show you how much I’ve loved and wanted you for all these years.”

“Yes, but,” you said, pushing yourself away from him. “I should be the one making up to you.” Saying that, you pushed him, not too hard, but enough for him to stumble back and fall on the sofa (thank god the sofa happened to be there. Mingyu wasn’t sure if he would be able to live with the embarrassment had he fallen on his ass instead.)

He watched you in awe as you climbed onto his lap, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he found himself grabbing you by your waist to pull you in closer. You looked so sexy that Mingyu was sure he had ascended to heaven.

You leaned down to capture his lips in yours again, feeling your thumb gently stroke his jawline. He could taste your lip gloss, igniting that fire in the pit of his stomach again as he licked your bottom lip to get more of it.

You opened your mouth a little more and his tongue accidentally slipped in, and Mingyu couldn't help but dig his nails into your skin in an attempt to cover up his groan. Your mouth was so wet and warm against his, tongue gliding over each other’s as you both fought for dominance.

He quickly broke the kiss, before moving to kiss the soft skin right below your ears.

“Gyu…” You hummed, the sound sending a shiver through his dick. He really wanted to elicit more of those sounds from you now, so he grazed his teeth lightly into the skin, causing a gasp to escape you. Immediately he soothed the area with his tongue, your gasp turning into a very low moan as pulled at the locks of his hair near his neck. “Gyu, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’ve always loved you, angel. And I’ll love you forever.” He whispered back, leaving trails of kisses on your neck as he moved downwards, finally stopping at the hollow of your neck. By now, he had realised that the best way to get you undone was by grazing his teeth against your skin and then soothing the area with his tongue.

But when you shifted slightly on his lap to move even more closer for him, he felt his dick twitch and another groan escaped him. It felt so good, and so, so right doing this with you, whatever the two of you were even doing. Your head was completely thrown back as Mingyu marked love bites all over your neck, gripping on his hair as you grinded down on him. Your moans had gotten much louder by now and with each sound he got out of you, he could feel his dick getting harder and harder.

Each time your cunt rubbed against his dick, mingyu felt a small relief wash over him but it just wasn’t enough; he wanted more of it, more of you and he wanted you to want him equally as much.

“Gyu.” You whispered, all of a sudden, causing him to pause. He looked at you with widened eyes, panic gripping him that he had done something wrong. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“Can you- can you take off your shirt? If you are okay with it? Or else-”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it, princess. A hundred percent okay. Okay with whatever you do.” He said, reaching downward to pull off his shirt but felt your hands stop him, causing him to look at you in surprise.

You were looking at him with guilt and a bit of sadness, before you reached down to press a soft kiss on his lips.

“Don’t say that, Gyu. Don’t say that, please. I’ve been hurting you all these years. Knowingly or unknowingly. So don’t- don’t say that, okay? I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You said.

For some reason, Mingyu felt his heart soften at your words. It was like a huge knot that had tangled his heart, not allowing it to beat and causing him pain for all these years had finally opened, releasing him from all pain. He smiled at you and nodded, and you slowly let go of his arms, allowing him to take off his shirt finally.

Mingyu always knew he had a great build. He took pride in how well he took care of his body and was kind of used to people complimenting him.

But nothing prepared him for the way you were looking at him right now, like he was some god who had just materialised in front of you. As soon as his shirt was off you sucked in a deep breath, your teeth sinking into your lower lips. Your eyes flicked all over his body, pupils darkening as you took in his physique.

He had never felt so bare in front of anyone and yet, it felt really good being like this in front of you. You lifted your hand slightly and placed it in front of his chest, looking at him for permission. When he nodded a yes, you let your hand finally touch, fingers trailing gently over his toned chest.

It was like you had set his skin ablaze; he could feel where your fingers had trailed against his now warm skin. A low moan escaped his throat when you gently brushed your finger against his nipple, causing you to smirk. Fuck, you were so hot.

“You are so handsome, baby. And so, so hot.” You said, leaning down to kiss his jaw this time. Another moan escaped him as you too repeated his action, sucking on the soft skin of his neck before licking it with your tongue. Your hands that were roaming all over his body were making his skin hotter with each second, which was doing nothing to give relief to his achingly hard dick.

“Can you take these off for me too?” You asked sweetly, tugging at his belt. Though he was mildly annoyed that you had climbed off his lap, resulting in the loss of your touch, he quickly jumped off the sofa and undid his belt, shimmering out of his jeans before turning to look back at you.

Your eyes now flicked all over his body as you took in his entire appearance, and he felt his dick twitch under your gaze. Your eyes then moved up to meet his, smiling so tenderly at him that Mingyu had to sit back down to make sure he didn’t melt into a puddle then and there. You climbed back onto his lap, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Hi, love.” You whispered with a smile, bumping your nose against his.

“Hi.” Mingyu said, mirroring back your smile.

“Can I ride you?”

He found himself nodding to your question, anticipation eating away his heart as you tugged onto the band of his underwear, and he raised his hips a little as you both pulled it off. A tiny bit of relief flooded him as his hard dick sprang free, finally able to breath a little.

Mingyu watched you as you took him in with hooded eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as you brushed your thumb against his now angry red tip, already leaking with precum.

“Aren’t you- Aren’t you going to take off your clothes?” He asked and you shook your head in negative. “After some time. You’re so pretty, Gyu.” You replied, wrapping your hand around his length and giving it a gentle squeeze. He thought he could see stars as his head fell back with a groan, hips jerking up to chase your hand as you removed it.

“Don’t tease me.” He hadn’t meant it to come out as a whimper, just as a request, but right now he was so desperate for you that he didn’t care if he sounded this pathetic.

“Sorry baby.” You said, but you were smirking, clearly enjoying the power play here. And for that reason, that made him even harder (if that was even possible) for you. You raised your hip up and slipped your hand underneath your skirt to pull your panties aside.

Then slowly, you sunk down. He felt your warm and wet pussy envelope just his tip, and a groan ripped from his throat at the feeling. Your hips too stuttered as you let out a moan, pausing to take in a deep breath. Mingyu could see that you were fighting with yourself to not sink in completely from the way your nails were digging into his shoulders.

He didn’t know what came over him but he was so done with playing gentleman with you, so tired of not being able to feel you fully, so sick of keeping himself away from you that he found himself grabbing your hips and pulling you down as slowly as he could.

When you finally bottomed out, the two of you letting out a moan in unison. Mingyu’s eyes rolled back as he felt your warm walls flutter around his length, trying to adjust to the size. The erratic squeezing was not helping him keep his composure and he could already feel his balls squeezing, ready to let go any second from now.

“Mingyu.” He heard you whine, the sound shooting straight up to his brain as his eyes snapped open to look at you. You looked back at him with complete adoration, and Mingyu felt his insides melt, leaning towards you to capture your lips in his.

The kiss was short lived though; as you raised your hips slightly, before bringing it down with a slam. He broke the kiss to groan loudly against your lip as your pussy clenched around his length once more, before you swallowed his moans with another kiss.

He felt your hot tongue slip into his mouth, drowning all his moans as you raised your hips once again and brought it down. Gently, you picked up the pace, a small pressure forming in his lower abdomen.

“You’re so beautiful, do you know that?” You whispered, his moans increasing as you sucked his lower lip. “So, so beautiful and so perfect. I love you so much Mingyu.”

Mingyu felt his balls tighten at your words, the knot in his stomach growing tighter and tighter as you whispered soft praises into the skin of his neck, sucking and marking at the soft skin.

“I love you. I love you too.” He whimpered back, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You ran your hand through the strands of his hair as he clutched your waist, trying to find something to ground himself too. The coil was getting too tight, too tight for him to hold himself back and you squeezing the life out of his dick was definitely not helping the situation.

“Are you- are you close, Gyu?” You asked, and he nodded. You felt so good, just so good, with the way your warm and wet walls were pulsing around him, causing ecstasy to shoot through his veins.

But now he could feel you slowing down a bit, obviously tired from riding him. You didn’t say anything though, and Mingyu could see you were trying to live up to your promise. So instead he relaxed into the sofa a bit more, before snapping up his hips to meet you halfway.

The sound that ripped through your throat was like music to his ears and he could feel himself threatening to burst, body threatening to snap under the intensity of pressure he was feeling.

“Baby-” He gasped. “Baby, I can’t- I can’t-”

“Let go.” You choked, slamming your lips against his to steal his breath away.

And that was enough for the coil in his stomach to snap. White hot pleasure coursed through his veins as a ringing sound took over his ears, all senses hindered as he lost himself in the bliss. Another groan stumbled out of his lips as you too finally came, doubling his pleasure as you coated his cock with your warm liquid, squeezing it as though to take in all his cum.

He wrapped his arm around you more tightly so that now both of your bodies were practically one, sweat and cum mixing with each other as both of you tried to catch your breaths.

After some time, Mingyu felt you ruffle his hair lightly and he finally peeled away from you, only to look up at you. You gave him a tired smile and he felt his heart squeeze, wondering for the millionth time how he had ended up with an angel like you.

“Hi.” You giggled, brushing your nose against his as you fondly cupped his cheeks.

He felt himself melt into your touch as he smiled back, quickly pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “What just happened?”

You laughed at his question and wrapped your arms around his neck, engulfing him in your scent as he buried his face into your neck.. The two of you stayed like that for sometime, just enjoying each other’s presence as the only sound heard was your rapid heartbeats and the sound of your slightly laboured breaths.

“I love you, Mingyu. Always had.”

“Hmm?” He hummed, kissing your collar bone.

“Yeah. I realised that’s why I could never be in a happy relationship with anyone. And why they always complained that I wasn’t interested in them.” Your voice had dropped a little and he could sense your sadness, so he began rubbing soft circles on your back to calm you down. “I kept searching for you in them. I kept searching for you. And- and all this time- all this time I-”

“Shhh. It’s okay princess.” He whispered, looking up to meet your eyes. He smiled at you gently. “It’s okay princess. We are here together now, and that’s all that matters.”

You stared at him for a second, before whispering. “I hurt you.”

“You also hurt yourself, baby. But now, we can help each other out. We can pick up our broken pieces and fix them. This time, together.”

“Oh Mingoo.” You said with a soft smile. The old nickname reignited a flame in his chest, and all of a sudden, all the years he had spent with you, all the beautiful and sad memories the two of you had created together flashed before his eyes. “What did I do to get you?”

“No, what did I do to get you?”

You giggled, leaning down to kiss his chin. “Thank you for waiting for me, Gyu.”

“What happened to Mingoo?”

“I thought you hated it.”

“I could never hate anything about you or anything that you call me.”

“So…I can call you mine?”

“Okay, stop.” He groaned, and you let out a laugh. “You’re terrible at jokes.”

“God, and you think you’re very funny right?” You wiggled your eyebrows at him, as though it was a challenge.

“Of course! Do you know how many girls have come up to me at work and told me I’m so funny?”

“There are no girls at your work. Only four other guys who bully you like shit.”

“Fine, at cafes.”

“Don’t lie- Oh!” Your eyes widened in horror and Mingyu felt his stomach drop, panic seizing him. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt-”

“The concert! Your date!” You gasped, hitting him slightly on the shoulder. Then you began climbing off his lap but he caught you and moved you back, hands firmly on your waist as you struggled slightly. “Gyu, we’ll be late-”

“Oh, I don’t think we can go to the concert anyways. I’ll just text Yoobin about it.” You froze at his words, looking at him in complete surprise. “What do you mean?”

“You still have to make it up to me.”

Mingyu could see the gears turning in his head as you took in his words, before your lips broke into a smirk. “Right. Right, I do. But what about 9Muses? Aren’t they your favourite band?”

“No 9Muses can compare to me spending time with you. Besides, I can go to a million other concerts now that you are by my side.”

You laughed at his response, before asking, “Can we move to a more comfortable room then, sir?”

He felt his cock which was still inside your warm pussy stir to life once more at the nickname, and his head filled up with thoughts of how he could fill you up once again, make you feel good and make you his forever.

“Of course love. Can I- Can I ask you a question?” He asked as you got off him, nodding at his question as you tried to stand with your shaking legs. Mingyu quickly caught you before you stumbled and you wrapped your arms around him and smiled softly, almost causing him to fall instead because of just how pretty you looked. And because of just how much he loved you.

“Remember- remember our promise? To marry each other if we were still single when we are thirty? Will you- Would you-”

You cut off his statement by pressing your lips against his, but this was unlike any other of the kisses the two of you had just shared. This one was the softest, and yet the most loving kiss Mingyu had ever been given. He felt himself completely surrender to your unspoken confession, letting you glide your hand over his chest until you were cupping his chin, his own hands wrapped around your waist and back, engulfing you with his large body. A tiny realisation flickered at the back of his brain; that he was completely naked while you hadn’t taken off a single article of clothing, not even your panties, but something about your kiss made him feel safe and protected, as though being vulnerable was out of the question.

The two of your lips moved against each other ever so softly, like you had all the time in this world to make for what you had lost over the years. He could feel his heart swelling with love, and he felt his stomach drop with happiness when he felt your heartbeat racing too.

Finally, you broke apart the kiss, looking up to him with soft, tender eyes. The fairy lights behind you were giving you a soft glow, and Mingyu was sure that he had just fallen for you even more.

“Marry you?” You asked, and he found himself nodding at your question. For some reason, he was no longer scared of your rejection, and the sense of doubt vanished completely when you smiled at him softly. “Yes. Yes I will, Kim Mingyu. I’ll marry you any day and any time. I’ll marry you even if the world says no, even if the world is ending or even if we have to move far away from each other. I love you so much that I’ll marry you in a blink. You are the person I’m a thousand percent sure of. And I’ll marry you even with paper rings.”

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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beenbaanbuun · 5 months

Text

first kiss with ateez

park seonghwa

i’m of the belief that seonghwa is a gentleman through and through

unfortunately that means no kiss until at least the third date, and even then your lips would have to look particularly plush and tempting for him to even dare

a bit of pink lip gloss does the trick, drawing his gaze to your lips more than once during the restaurant date that you find yourself on

he studies them when you talk about what’s going on in your life, watching your pretty teeth peeking out from beneath them

in fact, the more you talk, the harder it gets to pull his gaze away to look you in the eyes

how can he when your lips look so, what’s the word, kissable…

and before he can even stop himself, he’s leaning across the table and is oh-so-gently holding your face in place with a hand on your cheek

your words stop in your throat as he breathes against your lips and perhaps you can’t help but find his lips a little tempting too

you close the gap, pushing your lips against his own soft pair and holding yourself in place for just a moment or two

neither of you forget that you’re in the centre of a restaurant so you pull away, sharing a silent promise that it would be the first of many

kim hongjoong

hongjoong didn’t quite know why he felt so compelled to show you his studio so early in the relationship

it was his safe space away from the rest of the world, and yet there you were, stood right in the centre of it looking like you belonged there

and he believed that you did because why else would you look so pretty under the dim lights that shone from the ceiling?

why else would he be so tempted to pull you over to his desk chair and have a long, passionate make out session with you?

he tries to shake the dirty thoughts away, but a few linger on for longer than he’d like

and as you look around the space, he can’t quite help but imagine what it would feel like to hold his lips to yours

feeling braver than usual, he struts up to you and leans into your personal space, mouth barely an inch from your own

“can i?” he whispers, eyes flickering down to watch your lips part and your tongue dart out to wet them, “want to feel your pretty mouth on mine…”

you nod and before you know it, he has a hand on your shoulder, pulling you close and his lips on yours, drinking you in

he doesn’t pull away until you’re both dizzy from a lack of oxygen, but before you can even fully catch your breath, he’s delving in for more

jeong yunho

another gentleman except he is more than happy to kiss you on the first date as long as you’re as willing as he is

because he never really believed in love as first sight, but when he sees you for the first time, kissing you is all he can thing about

spends half of his time staring at your lips, and half of his time staring at your eyes wondering how pretty it would be to watch them flicker closed as he kisses you

tries his hardest to listen to you as you talk but how is he supposed to concentrate when all he wants to do is lean in and press his own lips against yours

ends up asking you to repeat yourself pretty much every sentence but you don’t really mind because you like the way he pouts when he asks…

both of you so desperately want to kiss the other and yet neither of you say anything, until…

“is that lipstick on your teeth?” yunho asks. you try to rub it off but you’re rubbing at the wrong tooth and yunho is just giggling to himself

you ask him to get it for you, and he freezes up because he’s unsure as to whether you’re genuinely asking him or whether it’s some sort of weird way of you asking for a kiss

he plays dumb and hopes it’s the latter, leaning in a little and extending the invitation for you to close the gap, which of course, you do

you giggle against his lips as he pushes the tip of his tongue into your mouth to wipe away the lipstick

kang yeosang

you’ve been dating for a while and you both desperately want to kiss the other but you’re shy and yeosang is clueless

the two of you are trapped in a weird sort of tango where one of you will get just about brave enough to lean in for a kiss before uncertainty kicks in and you take it back

your friends can’t be around you two anymore because it’s genuinely annoying to watch you two perform this weird ritual

they’re all silently begging for the two of you to just quit the bullshit and make out (preferably not in front of them)

but even with the hints the guys drop to yeosang, he still doesn’t seem to understand that of course you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you

until one night, you’re at his dorm for a movie night that yunho invited you over for

eventually, though, he gets fed up of watching you two love sick idiots watch one another instead of the movie and he stands up with his popcorn bowl and his blanket

“i’m going to bed,” he grumbles, shooting the two of you a frustrated look, “you two need to get a grip and make out already…”

it’s the most direct hint any of the members have given to yeosang, and finally it sinks in that holy shit! maybe you want to kiss him too???

your lips are already on his the second yunho is out of the room and he can’t help but squeak in surprise before fully leaning into the kiss

it’s unsure to start with, but the two of you soon find your feet and as per yunho’s instructions, you do in fact ‘get a grip and make out’

choi san

another gentleman but only in the sense that he likes to get verbal consent before kissing you

and he’s been waiting so patiently to ask you all night but he can’t quite bring himself to interrupt you as you very cutely ramble on about some random topic

but as much as he could sit and listen to you talk about anything with your angelic voice, he just wants to lean over to where you’re sat on his bed and kiss you

you notice him zoning out after a while and your sentences trail off

“sorry, was i rambling?” you ask, growing shy

“huh?” he shakes himself out of his trance and pouts at you, “aw, you could never ramble, babe…”

while you’re grateful that he’s so quick to squash any insecurities you might have about talking too much, you can’t help but wonder what had him so deep in thought

but before you can ask, san gets there first

“can i kiss you?” you nod, but san doesn’t do anything until you actually say it

when you finally get the word out, he smiles and lunges forwards to let his lips crash against yours

it’s not a gentle kiss, but it’s not an aggressive one either

it’s more like a long awaited one, switching from slow and sensual to desperate and depraved, before going back to the former in mere seconds!

song mingi

this man can and will kiss you whenever he feels like it

don’t get me wrong, he gets so incredibly shy around you, but he is also so incredibly impulsive that the moment he gets the idea to kiss you in his head, he can’t shake it out until he’s done it

it’s only your second date, but the two of you click so well that mingi thinks he might already be in love with you

and then he says something jokingly mean, purposefully to make you pout, and he just freezes

have your lips always looked that kissable? because right now, that’s the only thing he can think about

they look so soft and pliant and pink and before he knows it, mingi is leaning down to your height, his own lips just a breath away from yours

“do you want to kiss me?” he asks with a dopey smile, “i want to kiss you…”

you nod with a dazed expression and he closes the gap, wasting no time in deepening the kiss

he puts his huge hands on your waist and holds you flush against him as he explores your mouth

after what feels like a blissful eternity, he pulls away, panting deeply as he licks at his own lips that are covered in your spit

jung wooyoung

this little shit wants to kiss you soooo bad and unfortunately for you, he can tell that you want to kiss him too

with anyone else, that wouldn’t be a problem, but wooyoung is evil and is absolutely determined to make sure the only thing you can think of all day is his lips

he spends all day biting at his lips and flicking his pretty pink tongue over them the make them glisten in the sun light

acts extra pouty just in case he didn’t already have your full attention on his lips

he can tell by the way you zone out mid sentence to stare at his mouth that he does in fact have your full attention but that doesn’t stop him

oh no, it only drives him to be oven more of a little demon

he decides he wants to get ice cream with you despite it being the middle of winter, and for some reason you agree

he eats it in such a way that gets it smothered on his lips, but with the smirk on his face you can tell it’s intentional

you try and dab it away with a napkin but he just pouts and leans in close

with a sigh and a roll of your eyes, you take the hint and press your barely concealed smile to his own lips

he transfers the ice cream to your own lips before letting his tongue dart out to lick it up

you pull away with a grossed out whine, but he pulls you back in immediately for more

choi jongho

for jongho, the urge to kiss you built up over time

like sure, on the first date he notices how pretty your lips look but all of you is pretty and that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to kiss you

but then on the second date, he can’t help but notice that you like to chew on your lips and somewhere in the back of his mind is a thought that has him shocked at himself

like, he’s known you for a little over a week, why is he daydreaming about tugging your bottom lip between his teeth before diving in for a kiss

and then suddenly, it’s the fifth date and you’re sat on his sofa curled into his side and he just can’t stop staring as you nibble on your bottom lip

there’s a deep internal conflict about what he should do because he just can’t sit and watch you unintentionally tease him anymore!

decides to be a little bold and takes a deep breath before using his thumb to tug your bottom lip free of your teeth

you look at him in surprise, but you have barely enough time to be shocked before his lips are descending on your own and you’re leaning into the best kiss of your life

it’s slow and passionate and jongho is holding onto you like your made of glass with his hands splayed across your lower back

you pull away before delving back for more immediately, gasping when you’d feel jongho’s teeth scrape against your bottom lip…

#ateez headcanons #ateez reactions #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #atz reactions #atz x reader #atz fanfic #atz fluff #atz scenarios #atz drabbles #ateez drabbles

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solarnomoon · 9 months

Text

care for a man - kim mingyu

mingyu always takes care of you, even when you don't take care of yourself.

pairing >>> mingyu x male reader

tags >>> college au, fluff, suggestive content, implied smaller reader (he's 6'2 T-T)

author's note >>> sorry for literally dying, hope this is acceptable as an apology o.o i was listening to love me again by v while writing this if you want the vibe lul

"gyu, please..." you try to push his head away from your neck, attempting to type on your computer for your assignment, but with with you agreeing to sit on his lap while you work, nothing was getting done. "gyuuu..." you start again, pulling your neck away but just resulting in a soft whine and a tighter grip on your waist, and then left you a mingyu that was more insistent on leaving hickeys on your neck, even though he had already left dozens in the past hour.

when you finally get a moment of rest, he just stares at you waiting for you to make eye contact with him. eventually, you wonder if he was scrolling through his phone considering that he stopped, so you turned to check, but was met with a face still looking at yours. "yes gyu?"

"do you not love me?" he pouts, his lips turning downward while awaiting your answer.

"huh? are you fucking dumb? what kind of question is that?" you turn back towards your computer to type a couple of sentences.

at the same time, mingyu leans away from you in disbelief, staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. "wow, the f-bomb? so you hate me." he stands up, picking you up as well, ignoring your muffled complaint. "so you're breaking up with me," he says, placing you on the bed. "so you literally just said you want nothing to do with me." he lies next to you, holding you by your waist.

all you do is giggle, knowing this is just his antics. "hey, gyu, i was working! and i never said that, you're putting words in my mouth. you know i'd never break up with you," you whine out of faux annoyance, but he knows you need a break anyway. you push him on his back as you climb on top of him, squishing his cheeks together, and getting a smile from his face.

he places his hands on your hips, his fingers drawing small shapes into them. he loves the way the computer light shines on your face in the dark room, allowing him to see the beauty of his boyfriend. "well, if you wanna show me how much you would never break up with me, why don't you let me put something else, something bigger in your mouth?"

you scoff, glancing briefly at your open computer before returning your gaze to your boyfriend. "you disgust me, kim mingyu.”

he leans closer to your lips, wanting a kiss, "but you love me, y/n." he closes his eyes, expecting you to meet in the middle, but seconds pass and his gorgeous boyfriend's lips never touched his own. "where's my kiss, y/n?" he pouts, opening his eyes at the same time, noticing that you're looking at your computer, and with you as his little brainiac, he knows the gears in that head of yours are turning rapidly for your work. "y/n, you've been sitting on my lap for two hours just working. don't you think it's time for a break?"

"mmm, mingyu, i was almost done though..." you whine, attempting to get up after thinking about the next sentence of your editorial. however, as you begin to move away from mingyu, he pulls you back in, hugging you tight on top of him.

"nooo baby... you can't work anymore... i need attention!"

you laugh, leaving a kiss on his nose, "you know, i see why everyone on campus calls you a puppy." he just smiles, turning his head at the same time, obviously wanting you to continue on. "you're adorable like one, you love hugging and stuff, you need attention like all the time," you pause a bit, a dumb smirk appearing on your face before finishing your sentence, "and most of all, you're fucking insatiable. i mean, c'mon, four rounds minimum?"

he covers his face up after hearing your words, remembering how he said that in the very beginning of your relationship. when you confessed a year ago, mingyu told you that he needed "at least four rounds every time" as a deterrent because he didn't think he deserved to be with you. of course, you wanted to be with him, therefore you didn't mind (plus you're just as insatiable as him), so it's a funny memory to you now. "i-it was a joke, y/n! don't remind me."

you roll your eyes, tapping his forehead with your finger, "a joke that seems to be true. you know, it seems to be five rounds now." he hits your shoulder playfully at your words. "kidding, kidding! kinda." you sigh, just staring at your boyfriend. "but you really are like a puppy. a six foot something puppy."

"six foot two, baby. not that it matters, you're fucking tiny anyway."

"i'm not even that small, you're suuch a bitch." you place a gentle kiss onto his lips, granting a smile from him in return. "how about this, i stop working for the night, and we go into the kitchen and i make us a late-night snack? sound good, gyu?"

his eyes sparkle at the sound of you not working, his nonexistent tail practically hitting the walls and the ceiling with how excited he was hearing those words. "yes, please, y/n! i was getting so hungry and you weren't giving me any kisses and i was getting so sad."

"like i said, a puppy." you kiss him again on the cheek, answering his woeful call, "i'll give you all the kisses you want, okay gyu?"

he nods, getting up and carrying you bridal style. he places a kiss on your forehead. "i love you, y/n. i'm going to marry you one day."

and though you said you'd make food for him, he forced you to just sit down and watch him do everything for you, with the reasoning of "my beautiful boyfriend shouldn't move a finger after working so hard," and you swear you could feel the ring around your finger right then and there.

#seventeen x male reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen headcanons #seventeen mingyu #mingyu fluff #mingyu imagines #mingyu x male reader #mingyu x reader #x male reader #male reader imagine #male reader #solarnomoon

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ilwonuu · 2 months

Text

got a thing for you.

↬ kim hongjoong

❋ pairing- roommate!hongjoong x fem!reader, softishdom!hongjoong x sub!reader, fboy!hongjoong x fem!reader, roommates to fucking????

❋ summary- you roommate sorta has got a thing for you,,,

❋ warnings- protected sex (everyone is shocked), oral sex (m receiving), joong is kinda a tease, kissing, riding, cum swallowing, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart,baby)(joong), lmk what else !! MDNI

❋ a/n- i literally wrote this when i was high asf,,, i was thinking abt hongjoong so much (i still am) and i liked how this turned out so lmk what you think<3

hongjoong liked to think of himself as cool and calm. never get upset or anything from what you can tell. but he did give himself a reputation to be a well the campus fuck boy.

he didn’t really care that much though. if anything hongjoong truly owned up to his name. until he met you. he started seeing differently, he doesn’t even know why. you make him feel so good and he hates it.

you haven’t even touched him and he thinks he’s in heaven. having you as a roommate makes hongjoong happy but he also feels bad. how could he be roommates with someone he’s fucking his fist to every night.

he never wants to look you in the eyes because of it. you’ve started to notice his eyes shifting from you as soon as you look at him. you shrug it off but hongjoong don’t want to let his self control go too quickly.

he’s afraid he’s doesn’t know how long that’ll last though, especially with you coming into the kitchen around midnight in your loose pajamas. the two of you having the same idea to get a midnight snack.

“oh shit you scared me for a second.” hongjoong is shocked before he relaxes to your presence. “sorry i was trying to be quiet.” you giggle grabbing some water.

“what are you doing up?” his eyes are making direct contact with yours. it has you blushing, you hope the darkness is helping you so he doesn’t see.

“just couldn’t sleep. what about you?” you set your water bottle down shifting your attention to him fully. he nods slightly.

“yea me too- just been watching tv.” he smiles at you, you just want to kiss him so bad. it’s almost like he hears your thoughts. “if you want you can come up to my room? if you’d like that.” he says the last part as he moves a little closer to you. he rubs his hand against yours as you smile.

“mm yeah i would like that.” you bite your lip at how close he his. you both want each other more than you realized, as you follow him to his room. you forget about the water that you came for.

you have never been one to sleep around or hook up but maybe you’ll start now. but only because it’s hongjoong. your roommate draws you in, he’s sweet but mostly to you. his messy hair from sleeping you assume, looks so sexy. you just want to mess it up more.

“something you thinking about sweetheart?” that stupid nickname that he would call you gave you so many butterflies. of course you wouldn’t tell him to stop. the name coming from his voice made it even better. “nothing- just thinking about homework.”

your lie works but hongjoong still smirks to himself. “what?” you question his expression as you sit on his bed. he just shakes his head.

“just thinking why we haven’t hung out in here before.” he sits next to you as the show that he was watching plays on his tv.

“yeah i don’t know.” you look at the boy next to you with a half smirk. “what do you want to do?” you ask trying to break the silence for a second.

“can i kiss you?” he looks from your eyes to your lips as his face inches closer. you nod slowly as his words catch you off guard but you want that more than anything.

“please.” you breathe out quickly. he grabs your face to kiss you passionately. you respond instantly, trying to pull him closer to you. he smirks into the kiss as the two of you find a rhythm.

“you don’t know how bad i want to do that every second.” he kisses against your neck as let out a soft whine. “you’re so beautiful sweetheart. you know that? just want you to myself.” his whispers and kisses are gentle but your skin is burning from want.

his voice sounds a little raspy and it’s got plenty of arousal pooling in your panties. “get on your knees and use that pretty mouth hm yea?” you should be embarrassed at how fast you nod at him, but you have no shame.

“get to work sweet thing.” he rubs some of your hair back as you get on your knees. you grabbing at his pants, pulling them down. hongjoong just watches you with so much lust. his eyes dark as he sees your hands move to his boxers, tugging them down. your mouth waters at the sight of the pre cum leaking at the tip.

“just gonna stare baby?” he smirks down at you teasingly. “mm so big-“ he looks down at you in such a intimidating way. your panties are completely ruined at this point.

“yea? spit on it sweetheart.” he smiles at you as you spit on the tip. you spreading it with your thumb causes him to hiss. you lick at the side slowly as you look at him.

“shit-“ his mouth falls open as he watches you suck on the tip. you humming making him laugh in disbelief. “just- like that. fuuck- how are you so fucking g-good at this?” you moans making him start to fuck your mouth. he fists some of your hair in his hand as he thrusts with your head.

“you take it so- oh fuck.” he throws his head back as you start to gag on it a little. you pulling away you spit on it just to go back to your movements.

“gonna cum in your mouth- shit sweetheart. a-ah god fuck- baby.” he is beyond shocked as you sloppy gag on his cock. there’s spit and pre cum all over your chin but you don’t care.

“i’m coming- fuck fuck!” his hips start to fuck into your mouth roughly after a couple thrusts his cum fills your mouth. you moan at the warm liquid. hongjoong just watches as you swallow with his mouth open. you show him your clean tongue giving him a smirk after you hear him curse.

“can i fuck you now sweetheart?” you bite your lip a little as you nod. “can i ride you joong?” you ask with a smile as you see him slowly nod. he lays back against the bed as

he watches you take your clothes off. he throws his shirt off not wanting to waste any time. he thinks he’s in heaven when he sees you crawl to him on the bed. he’s thought about you like this before but you’re way dirtier than he imagined. he loves it.

his dick all the way fully hard as you crawl on his lap. “you’re so good for me huh sweetheart? show me baby.” he grabs a condom out of his drawer before rolling it down on his dick. his vision is somewhat blurry as he watches you grab his dick lining it up with your entrance. you lower yourself onto him with a gasp.

“so big-“ your eyes roll back as he starts move his hips up. your arousal dripping making noises that has him groaning. “s-so fucking wet-“ your moans getting louder as you start to grind to meet his thrusts. he kisses your neck softly as he fucks you rougher.

“h-hongjoong- yea fuck me! p-please don’t stop o-oh.” you whimper at the softness of his hand on your hip. he fucks you at a perfect angle causing your legs to shake a little.

“don’t run from it baby. feels so good huh? you’re riding me so well sweetheart.” he plants a couple kisses on your neck as you start to bounce on him quicker.

“l-love your cock! o-oh my god! so deep joong- i’m g-gonna cum- ah please!” you moan as you feel him start to rub your clit. “cum on my dick sweetheart. this perfect little pussy is all mine now huh? gonna let me fuck you nice and full every day now?” he smirks as he feels you clench around him.

“you like that? fu-uck best fucking pussy i’ve ever had. squeezing me so fucking tight baby.” your whimpers are starting to sound more like cries as you see stars and cum hard on his dick. still grinding slightly through your high.

“you’re so pretty-“ he cuts himself off by pulling you into a kiss. he comes hard into the condom, your kiss being enough to bring him to his high. you lift off of him with a whine.

“i can understand why you have girls lining up- that was too fucking good.” you giggle as you rub at some of your cum leaking out of you.

“don’t fall in love now.” he says playfully as he kisses you again. you roll your eyes but slowly melt into his kiss.

“oh you wish.”

#hongjoong #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez hongjoong #atz #atz smut #atz x reader #atz fanfic #atz imagines #atz hongjoong #atz scenarios

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b1mbodoll · 6 months

Note

Matthe hcs? Or literally any zb1 I BEG

pairings: seok matthew, kim taerae x f! reader

warnings: size kink + breath play + strength kink + impact play + oral + dacryphilia + degradation + sadist! taerae + ruined orgasms + omorashi

💌: chose matt n taerae bc the brain rot has been awful :D also thank u to my beloved lil bella (@bubbleseo) for letting me use an idea we talked abt in dm’s !!! be sure to follow her i <3 her writing ‘nd she has the best thoughts ever ૮꒰。• ༝•꒱ ა ♡ ૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა

˚ʚ seok matthew ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ matthew’s strength kink ties into his size kink. he loves how easily he can toss you around because he’s just so much stronger than you <3 he’s hunky and beefy and absolutely ripped, using his strength to his advantage by slapping you across the face when you get a little too mouthy for his taste, eyes watering and cheek stinging. despite the pain you clench your thighs, squirming a little and moaning each time he hits you, becoming more and more desperate to feel his cock inside of you and filling you up

❤︎₊ ⊹ he’s a fan of breath play as well. wraps a strong arm around you, tucked beneath your chin and flexes, restricting your oxygen intake and making you claw at his bicep. you’re never able to make him stop though, forced to gasp and struggle for breath until he decides you’ve had enough, your cunt dripping and chest heaving when he lets you go. matthew’s kind of a meanie, but only sometimes! like when you go down on him, deepthroating his cock ‘nd gagging around him, knowing how much he likes hearing you struggle to take him. if you try pulling off before makin’ him cum he just lays a heavy hand on the back of your head, using his strength to force his length down your throat. he pinches your nose and uses you like a cocksleeve until he blows his load and his cum floods your mouth, not bothering to check whether you’re conscious or not.

❤︎₊ ⊹ while he does enjoy titles like sir or daddy, he prefers hearing you moan his name while he’s fucking you. he likes knowing that he’s the one making you feel good and every little whimper or mewl of “matty please” and breathy moan of his full name makes him crazy, bucking his hips wildly to draw more cries from you and grunting when your hands find their way to his biceps, digging your nails into them and making him hiss, cock twitching inside of you because he loves the pain and little reminders of you littered all over his body

˚ʚ kim taerae ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ taerae is such a sweetheart but there’s something about him that screams sadist to me. he gets off on your pain and humiliation, cock impossibly hard when you start to cry as he degrades you, calling you his dumb little breeding bitch and slamming his cock into you harshly. each thrust is powerful, the fat tip of his dick kissing your cervix every he pushes his length deep inside and ripping squeals from you.

❤︎₊ ⊹ he likes making you feel so good it hurts, forcing you to cum for him over and over until you’re shaking and tears are streaming down your cheeks. it doesn’t matter how much you beg him to stop because you’re a toy for his pleasure and if he wants to use you until you’re nothin’ but a cockdrunk dummy then that’s what he’s gonna do <3 but if you struggle or push him away, taerae gets even meaner. he’ll bury his face between your thighs and lap at your cunt, wrapping his lips around your clit and bringing you closer to the edge, pulling away right before your orgasm hits to slap your sore pussy, sobs and wails like music to his ears.

❤︎₊ ⊹ there’s nothing he loves more than dumping his piss inside your messy little cunt :( he fucks you from behind, each thrust calculated and powerful, making you sigh and whine softly. you’re so dumb for thinkin’ he’s nice enough to fuck you without an ulterior motive, and it shows when your pussy clenches around him as your orgasm washes over you, pushing yourself back onto him and focusing on making him cum. he lets you enjoy yourself for a bit until the pressure on his bladder is too much to bear and he’s draping himself over you before letting go. his piss is warm and you can feel the steady stream splash inside of you, moaning loudly at the feeling. “you’re so fucking nasty,” he spits, teeth clenched as his hips stutter, pelvis wet with cum and piss. “aren’t you ashamed? can’t believe my princess enjoys bein’ used like this.” taerae’s words have your lip wobbling, eyes squeezed shut as you try not to cry but he doesn’t stop, he won’t until you’re sobbing so hard your body shakes. “this is what you were made for, isn’t that right?” you nod in reply, cunt clenching around him and milking his cock until you’re so full his piss leaks out of you, pooling on the bedsheets below.

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darlingnomii · 2 months

Text

StepBro Mankae Line

warnings; perv skz, stepcest, degrading, reader is still over 19, more consensual noncon??, a liiittllee somno and dry humping, absolute debauchery 🤧🥴, possible typos, dont hold it to me, yeah?

PART TWO OF SKZ STEPDADDY'S (hyung line)

hwang hyunjin as your sweet artistic stepbro. hes always asking to draw you, or just draws you randomly any way. you found no problem when he asked to paint you nude, why not? in the name of art, yes? he asked again, no problem! third time.. is he even painting right now? the way his arm is moving doesn't look like brush strokes.. he's stroking something alright. definatly painted the canvas with something. wasn't paint tho- hmm, could you blame him? i mean, you look like a goddess posing on that stool with the light hitting your breasts just right. he want to paint your breast instead of the canvas with his selfmade white paint. absolutely addicted

han jisung as your typical pervy stepbro. steals your panties out of the hamper to sniff and jerk off with. watches your ass while you load the dishwasher, load the washer/dryer, or just plain bending over. watched so much step porn, he hopes you get stuck so he can fuck you out of it. poor boy is going so feral over the way you smell, the way your ass jiggles in your pajama shorts, and the way your breast bounce freely in your shirt. doesn't even wait for you to get stuck at this point, you just bent over to scoop the clothes out of the dryer and next thing you know, something hard is pressing against you. he masks it as trying to get past you to grab his clothes but you know dammn well he didn't have to brush that big ass boner directly against your pussy 🙄

lee felix as your shy pervy stepbro. quitely watches all the step porn he can and admires your body from a distance. takes pictures of you when you're in compromising or just plain sexy positions so he can jerk off later. also sleals your panties but he makes sure to put them back when he's done ❤ definatly listens to you when you get yourself off so he can jerk off with you, imaging its your pussy wrapped around his cock instead of his hand. another precious boy that has that post orgasm guilt but he just cant bring himself to stop thinking about how sexy and perfect his step sis is 🥺

kim seungmin who just doesn't gaf stepbro. confronts you about your skimpy clothes around the house. 'you trying to give me a boner? hm? look at these skimpy shorts,' tugs at them teasingly before yanking them off 'is this slutty little pussy wet for me too? for your step bro?' teases you more as he plays with your cunt, but he likes it just as much as you :) wants to bury his face between your thighs and have you overstimulated on his tongue 🤤

yang jeongin as another shy stepbro. at least at first. feels realllyy bad for making you pick up things just so he can see the curve of your ass or the cleavage of your tits, not enough to make him stop tho. puts things up high so when you call him to come get it or he sees you struggling, he comes up behind to grind against you, innocently. smacks your ass as a joke... maybe... okay not as a joke but it seems that way. mesmerized by the way it jiggles with impact, UGH he can watch it all day. likes sleeping with you so he can spoon you and grind against your ass while you sleep. he could hump that cushie ass all night but after one orgasm, he has to get up and clean himself before coming back and acually going to sleep. no promises that you wont wake up with a hard hotdog between your buns 🤭

#straykids smut #hwang hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #lee felix smut #kim seungmin smut #yang jeongin smut #skz smut #skz hard thoughts

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redclercs · 11 months

Text

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

xi.it’s okay we’re the best of friends

— the one where all you do is think about the feelings that you hide.

warnings: guys, my brain was failing during this so not really proofread, also please pretend the dress is the same in both pics lol, alcohol consumption. 2.5k words.

currently playing: drive by halsey!

masterlist ✢ next

Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, mati.bassi, tchalamet and others.

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softyn FIRST POST SINCE MAY AND MOTHER WANTS US DEAD

ynstars I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SLAY

aid4anfeels ugly bitch

lecsainz516 whose wedding is this, charles and carlos were there too

formulayn did @/charles_leclerc take these?

liked by charles_leclerc

THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE LIMITED.

August 5th, Madrid, Spain.

WHEN Charles said you needed to make new memories in Spain to replace the bad ones, you didn’t have a wedding in mind. However, with the rollercoaster that is your life as of lately, you don’t swim against the current anymore. Just going with it is not a bad way to live when you’re still trying to reach the surface and get away from the wreckage.

Things aren’t good. Not yet. The press is still having a field day with all that he said, she said merry go round. Aidan and Victoria are fighting to play the victim and Mia Kim is on a mission to paint you as the worst sister-in-law who could have ever existed. Which, to be fair, paints her in a weird Freudian light.

But things are better than they were the last time you were in Spain. And that’s something to be grateful for.

“Are you sure?” You asked Charles on FaceTime for the third time that night two weeks ago, he had just asked you to be his plus one to one of his Ferrari mates’ wedding. “Are you a hundred percent sure they won’t mind?”

The last thing you wanted was to feel like an intruder, and with the type of attention you carry around like a dark cloud over your head, ruining someone’s special day was not an experience you wanted to add to your repertoire.

“Of course they won’t mind, soleil.” Charles assured, he was still in Hungary after the Grand Prix. “Tommaso told me I could bring anyone, and I want to bring you.”

The last time you saw Charles in person was in New York City, almost two months ago. It doesn't mean, of course, that you stopped communicating. Whenever Charles is on his phone, you can be certain you'll receive a text, a picture or a random iMessage drawing. You handle time zones as best you can without sacrificing too much sleep time, especially for the one who has to drive a car at 300 km/hr.

Although he insisted on you coming to any Grand Prix of your choice, you thought it best to stay away from the paddock for a while. Plus, you had some work to do. You didn't love Talk Shows while promoting, most hosts did horrible, unfunny jokes, and you were the butt of a lot of them, but if being in some of them helped you to speak about your situation and dismiss whatever rumor Victoria, Aidan or Mia (or just about half the internet) had going on, you were willing to make the sacrifice.

You were also willing to attend a complete stranger's wedding just to see Charles again, but you didn't want to give that thought the depth it demanded from you. Not in the seven hour flight from New York to Madrid, and not now, as you're getting ready for Charles to pick you up to go to the wedding.

Your blue dress is frankly magnificent, and you are aware of how good you look, but it doesn't hurt that the first thing Charles does when the doors to the lift open, is compliment you. Well, to be fair, the first thing he does is gather his thoughts and try not to feel stupid after basically picking his jaw up from the floor.

"You look gorgeous," Charles says, clearing his throat. His sudden anxiety makes you chuckle, as his Adam's apple bobs up his neck. "I missed you so much, soleil."

You are mildly disappointed when he doesn't hug you the way he did back in New York, and you dismiss the feeling almost as quickly as it appeared. Although his words linger in the air, he missed you, and you did too.

"I don't want to ruin your hair," he explains, as if he's read your mind, and smiles wider.

"Right," you shake your head, it was obvious. "You look pretty good yourself, Charlie," you add, always trying to return the compliment, and only managing to make it awkward.

There is something about men in suits that makes them twice as attractive, and it's unfair when it comes to someone like Charles, who is already way too handsome as it is.

"Thank you," Charles is always nice enough to accept your half-assed, anxiety induced compliments. "Shall we?"

You nod, and when he offers his arm to lead you to the car, you link yours through it taking a breath so deep, it makes your lungs ache.

"Do you like weddings?" Charles asks as the engine of his car roars to life. A red Ferrari is the only way you manage to describe it, afraid of getting details wrong. Although you're certain Charles would patiently explain anything you needed to know about it, you don't ask.

"Everyone likes weddings," you reply, setting both hands on top of your knees. "Right?"

Charles chuckles and shrugs, "I guess so,"

You love weddings, except when you're expected to be the bride.

"Charles," you pat his shoulder and he takes his eyes off the road for the briefest second. "Are you completely sure the bride doesn't mind my presence?"

You don't want to give yourself some sort of importance you don't deserve—the bride has more important things to worry about—but particularly nervous about how your presence will be received at the celebration.

"Seriously, y/n," Charles soothes, his right hand leaves the steering wheel and searches for your own blindly, accidentally landing on your empty lap. He takes his hand back immediately, red creeping up his neck. "It's fine." he resolves, his sight way too focused on the road now.

"Alright," you whisper, smoothing the skirt of your dress. "Alright."

Both of you remain silent the rest of the way as you take in the Spanish landscape and Charles drives like his life depends on it. You promised yourself you'd ask for as much information on the happy couple as you could, but your voice is lost in the pit that opened in your stomach.

And the evening is just beginning.

It's after the ceremony, at cocktail hour that you find everything out about Tommaso and Bárbara thanks to none other than Carlos Sainz, who seems to really have a thing for gossip and also, for making fun of you for crying during the vows.

"Leave me alone, Carlos," you warn for the last time, this time threatening him with your closed fist. "Not my fault you don't have a heart in that big-ass chest."

This makes him laugh harder, and even Charles chuckles against the lip of his whiskey glass.

"I miss you so much around the paddock, y/n!" Carlos sighs, patting the place above his heart. "For real."

You click your tongue. "Sure you do,"

Carlos and you talk a lot less than Charles and you do, of course. But if Charles calls you during whatever free time he has while in the Ferrari Suite, you can trust Carlos to insert himself in the conversation.

"And a lot of the other drivers do too," Carlos' tone is mocking again, and you glower at him.

"Stop picking on me," this time you punch him on the shoulder.

"I'm being serious. Lando has a crush on you,"

You talked to Lando a few times, mostly when he and Carlos were being boys and hitting each other in the balls outside the Ferrari Suite and Lando made small talk as he tried not to touch his private parts. A crush is an exaggeration, Lando just told you he thought you were cool for making movies.

"Why don't we take some pictures?" Charles suggests before downing the rest of his whiskey. You don't miss the look he gives Carlos.

"Why not?" you smile at Charles, shrugging. The place is beautiful and you would love to have a memory of this whole thing that you can go back to.

"I'll catch up with you guys," Carlos calls as you two walk away, uninterested in the impromptu photoshoot.

Charles directs an annoyed look at him again and then makes it go away to return his attention to you.

"What was that?" you ask, taking Charles' arm again for him to lead you to where the rest of the guests are more scattered and won't photobomb your pictures.

"What was what?" Charles lifts an eyebrow, forever the expert at playing dumb. Or, not really.

You shake your head, this is another deep thought you don't want to venture into. There is enough of this weird tension already, and you're not sure if Charles feels it too.

─────────

"Your girlfriend is beautiful," a lady is patting your hand, a gentle smile on her face as she looks at Charles. She's the spouse of another Ferrari team member, and the first thing she did was compliment your dress before even asking for your name.

"Oh, I'm not—"

"We're just friends," Charles clears up, gentle as well. "But y/n really is beautiful."

The woman raises both eyebrows and laughs, an 'oh you kids' snicker that isn't unkind. "Of course, of course."

It's the first time of many during this party that Charles has to say you're not in a relationship, and it seems to get easier every time the words come out of his mouth.

Although it's true, you're not sure why it nags at you.

You cry again during the couple's First Dance and verbally threaten Carlos to leave you alone as you wipe your tears carefully, doing your best to keep your makeup intact. He laughs, but takes your threat seriously and remains quiet. This whole Tom and Jerry thing is amusing but he doesn't want to actually make you angry.

A few songs in, after you're done bickering with Carlos and you have finished your third glass of champagne, Charles asks you to dance with him.

An slowed-down version of Sixpence's 'Kiss Me' plays as you take the dance floor. You blame your giddiness on the fact that you finished that flute of champagne in record time.

"What is it?" Charles questions, smoothly placing one hand on your hip while the other holds your palm. His thumb runs up and down the curve of your wrist.

"What if I step on your foot?" you retort, looking up at him. That's only one thing that makes you nervous, although you know how to dance. You took lessons for both Supercut and Parisian Valentine.

Laughter bubbles from Charles' chest and you join in, although this makes you even more nervous. It would be stupid to say you don't see how handsome he is, even if he's just your friend.

"I won't mind," Charles promises, and his fingers press a little harder against your hip bone.

"Okay, then."

It's obviously not a complicated endeavor to sway around the dance floor with Charles, he lets you set the pace, lacing your fingers together after you spin back to him.

"Thank you for coming with me, soleil," he says in a low voice. You can smell the alcohol in his breath although it's been a while since he stopped drinking, he still has to drive you back to your hotel. "I really missed you these two months."

"I love weddings. Thanks for inviting me," you squeeze his shoulder, the contrast of your manicured nails against his shirt distracts you momentarily from the fact that you can feel his breath against your jaw.

It's the second time today that you miss the chance to tell him you missed him too, and you know he notices it by the way he leans away.

The song ends before your tongue decides to respond to you again and Charles lets go of you. A few seconds feel like an hour as you stare at each other, unable—or unwilling—to say anything of what either of you really want to say.

"Care to dance?" a guy with longish hair and dark eyes is offering you his hand now, as a faster song starts and the lights around the room turn brighter.

You break eye contact with Charles and when you look at him again, he just nods, taking a step back to your assigned table.

"Sure," you tell the guy, a tense smile on your face. "Let's dance."

The ride back to your hotel is silent again, and you're too tired to find a way to fill it.

Charles' energy has shifted and this makes your stomach turn. Your anxiety worsens every time you feel someone is 'off' towards you, and that someone being Charles makes it a hundred times worse.

He takes the elevator to your room with you, placing his hand gently in the middle of your bare back to let you in first.

"We're okay, right?" you whisper, looking at your distorted reflections on the silver wall of the cubicle.

You see Charles' reflection frown and then his face turns to you. "Of course we're okay, y/n. Is something wrong?"

You shake your head, the loose strands of your bun tickle your nape. "I'm just wondering."

Charles is never bothered by your need for reassurance, not even when he needs reassurance himself. That he's not being a complete and absolute moron by wanting the woman all the boys want to dance with, and holding onto that little slither of hope that he might have a chance with her. He's the one standing next to you after the party, still.

"We are okay. Didn't you have fun today?" he asks, pushing those thoughts aside. You're friends. Just friends.

"Of course I did!" you inhale sharply, "I just— nevermind." you take your hand to the back of your head, already tired of the half undone bun that threatens to give you a headache.

"I had fun. I always have fun when I'm with you," Charles follows you out of the elevator and down the hallway to the third door marked with a 3321.

You're still struggling to find the exact hairpin that holds your hairdo together, and Charles pinpoints it almost at the same time as you do, pulling it out swiftly to make your hair fall down your shoulders.

It's a meaningless gesture, Charles hasn't given it a second thought or stopped walking. But a shiver runs down your back as his knuckles graze your nape.

"Thanks, Charlie." You say, swallowing.

"Of course," Charles puts the pin inside the pocket of his trousers with a shrug.

You stand in front of the room for a minute, having a stare down again as you rub the back of your head.

"Thank you again for today, Charles." you're the one to break the silence, keycard already between your fingers. "I had a great time."

"I'm glad, soleil." Charles his dimples appear when he smiles and your breath hitches when he leans towards you. It feels like you've been showered with ice cold water. "Good night, y/n," he says and presses his lips against your cheek.

"Good night, Charlie," you wave him goodbye from the door as he walks back to the lift.

The feeling of his lips against your skin is there, even after you've washed your face and tucked yourself into bed.

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! surprisingly, i don't have much to say this time other than i really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that I appreciate each one of you dearly!♡❞

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#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #formula 1 imagines #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 x reader #charles leclerc fluff #cl16 fanfic #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine

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chaewon2000lover · 11 months

Text

Return on investment. Part 1 of 2.

Male reader x Kim chaewon

2.5k words.

tags, wholesome, standing sex, pussy eating.

“Click” “Click” “Click”“Click”“Click” “Click” “Click “Click”“Click” “Click” “Click” “Click”

“Uhh, god finally done”

you look to the side past your many monitors and across your desk where your phone lays buzzing.

“Unforgiven I’m a villain, I’m a”

you swipe at it and it turns off.

“Huh, that always manages to cheer me up at the end of a hard day managing way to much of way to many peoples money, I’m so happy I made her new song my ‘work over’ alarm”

as you stand up to leave shortly after turning your seemingly endless wall of monitors off, you remember that checking your phone might be a good idea, considering that your girlfriend will be in New York soon.

“I know you just got done working, see you tomorrow xxx”

attached was a picture you were not completely sure you should be looking at right now as you walked down the halls towards the elevator, though as per usual you were probably the only human in the building.

“they should really just let me set up an office from my own home”

regardless you opened it.

“god I can’t wait to have her in my hands, her perfect perky breasts her slightly protruding hips attached to her perfect little butt, and sitting on top of all that what must be the most perfect face in the world currently adorned with an amazing expression” you think.

“hope you have that same outfit tomorrow 😍😍😍😳😳”

“haha I’ll see if they’ll lend it to me, maybe you could buy it🤔🤔🐯”

“Maybe maybe 🤔, How are you ever going to pay me back for this🤔🤔”

“you’ll find out exactly how tomorrow❤️‍🔥”

“Ohh yeah, what can you do for me that I can’t just buy?”

“This

I know how much you want to touch and hold this”

“an older one i like it”

“And also these abs, I know you can’t buy any common whore in America or anywhere with abs as nice as mine or a face as lovely”

“did the sweet Angel just say whore”

“Tomorrow I won’t just say it”

“Okay chae as per usual you win, I don’t need to blow my load while driving”

“your driving, why didn’t you put it on voice call yet?”

“I thought you were with your members?”

“ohh yeah, that’s true😙”

“You know what, chae if you weren’t so incredibly adorable you would be so annoying to deal with”

“Hey, that maybe be true but you best treat me nicer tomorrow, especially if you want this adorable idol to be yours to play with”

“okay I’m sorry chae😥😥, but remember who paid to upgrade your flight and who paid to put you and your members in the top suite”

“okay, sorry how about we settle it tomorrow?❤️‍🔥, also all the girls are loving it, though they won’t stop asking me who paid for it”

“just tell them it’s an adoring fan, or even better your sugar daddy😳😹😹”

“whatever, are you still driving?”

“yeah it’s a long way around NY, I’ll show you tomorrow”

“I’ll look forward to it love you xxx”

“love you to xxxx”

As you fell asleep, all you were able to think about is her body and how it will feel, you’d been nervous before but nothing can compare to this feeling.

And now the day has finally come you stand outside the venue, leaning against your favourite car a new Ferrari 296 GT3 barely road legal and not the most comfortable but it sure does draw a lot of looks and it would right now if you weren’t in a remote part of the parking lot.

“hopefully chae won’t be able to notice how little sleep I got” You think aloud to yourself.

You just learnt what can top the nerves from last night, the nerves you are feeling as you see a little speck getting closer, slowly it becomes bigger brighter and more human like, as you can begin to properly make it out, you know its her getting closer and closer you can recognise the outfit she’s wearing, and chuckle a little to yourself.

“Baby, you got the outfit, how much is it gonna cost me” you quip.

she doesn’t reply instead she just jumps into you, to which of course you open your arms and wrap them around her.

“Your so warm”

“thanks chae it’s good to know that I’m a effective hot pack”

you lift her up and swing her tiny frame around a little before kissing her, your mouth barely touching hers as you spin her around.

“mmh”

with that little sound from her you place her down.

and bend down to kiss her on the cheek.

“get in the car let’s go to a restaurant then we can get back to my place”

“What kind of restaurant?”

“whatever kind you want? This is New York you can get anything you want, at least if you know the right person and you’ve got the money and trust me I’ve got both”

“ohh yeah, you make it sound like your in the mafia” she giggles

“Well I’ve got all the connections to be, it kinda comes with the job”

“Okay bad boy” she giggles “why don’t we have some Italian then”

“you really want me to be in the mafia eh, but yeah sure”

“I can see why you became a fund manager now” she quips

“why because I’m so charismatic“ you say as you start the car and it roars to life.

“no, it’s because your jokes are terrible, so your better off being serious, it suits you well” she says giggling.

“wow thanks chae, maybe I’ll show you how serious I can get later” you say slightly seductively.

“Maybe” she says as you look to the side to see that she’s taken her hat off and placed it on the dash.

You pat her head, and run your fingers through her hair “god I still can’t believe your finally sitting next to me”

“Neither can I”

“you know chae, you really are quite small” you say while looking straight ahead focusing on controlling this far to fast car.

“well your not that big either, how tall even are you” chae says with a tinge of offence and a small pout on her face.

“ohh yeah, let’s see about that in a few” you say with a suggesting tone, “also I’m 5,9 thank you very much”

Chae blushes a bit and then says “hmm must be how skinny you are”

“I prefer lean” you say feigning offence, “maybe we’ll see what you really think of my body later”

Chae giggles and nods

then she says something that surprises you. “Did you sleep last night?”

“you know I usually can’t sleep easily let alone well, 6-7 hours is my norm, what with the stress and anxiety from the billions of other peoples money i manage”, though you sort of forget to mention that last night you probably got 3 to 4 hours of sleep due to her.

Now you’re standing in front of a fancy Italian restaurant, with chae right next to you. “Don’t you think I’m not dressed up enough for this?” She says.

“maybe but who cares, there’s no need to worry about other people looking at you I booked a private booth”

“really, but it looks so expensive” she say’s almost hesitantly.

You nod “that’s because it is, but I think I’ll get my return soon enough”

she giggles “sure mafia man”

you chuckle and walk her in, past the lady at the front desk who points you to your booth, (which is just big enough to hide you two away in a corner).

as you two sit and eat dinner you talk about her tour, your investments (only for a little while) and more, she mainly talks about how nice the food is which your happy to hear, she even takes a few pictures (probably for her Instagram).

soon the hour or so flys by and you two are out and on the way back to your home.

eventually through the silence caused by the impending interest and excitement, you slow your Ferrari down and pull into the parking garage just outside your home.

“It’s uhh, just over there” you say with a dry cough and point her towards your place.

“Where?” she asks.

You grab her hand “oh whatever, don’t worry I’ll just take you, come on” you do just what you said you would and chaewon blushes instantly.

You lead her up into the elevator, “which floor are you on” she asks sweetly.

“Top floor” you reply only thinking about what your going to do once you get there.

A deafening silence falls upon you two, until you reach the top floor and you both spill towards your place, past some other apartments and towards yours.

as soon as you enter you grab chae by her shoulder, “take your top off” you say filled with desire.

she does as told and tosses her hat to the side, then you pull her gloves off, her shoes already lay at the entrance, she pushes you towards the bedroom and you drag her while only stopping to take the last bit of an article of clothing off.

until you arrive, her pushing you onto the bed in just a bra and panties and you underneath her with just your boxer shorts on.

“Versace, I like it” she giggles.

“thanks” you say with a grin.

you reverse the position and put her down on the bed flat on her back, then you slide down and teeth her panties off.

The first flick of your tongue hits her lower lips, making her shiver in anticipation.

“Ohh god, keep going” she beckons you.

You begin by licking, flicking and slurping away at her sweet pussy enjoying all the sweet sweat and pussy juices you can get.

her tightening caverns and vast folds capture your full interest as you do a deep dive into them, similar to how you dive head first into an promising investment opportunity, you thoroughly check and explore everything, what if I move my tongue like this over here, what about over there, what if I flick at this and then massage it gently, what does this part taste like, all these questions enter your head and you explore them without fail, making the sweet sexy lady you love writhe squirm and twitch in pleasure, her hands finding you head to twist your hair and push you further onto her, proving her love for your explorations, her own mouth to busy letting out sweet sensual sounds to form coherent confirmations.

your hands slide around behind her and grab at her cute rear, you squeeze it, toy with it, and fondle it all while still serving her front flawlessly, her cute body only serves a reply in the form of more squirming under your control, your every flick, lick, slurp, grab, squeeze, and touch elicits a sensual reaction from her.

Her being in this moment is the greatest mix of cute and sexy, the way she lulls you in further while still seeming to have no previous experience of her own, makes you both want to laugh and ravage her body.

You pull away from her deciding with her sensitivity that now is the best time to strike, you crawl up her body your hand back in front now playing with her small mounds instead of her cute ass, your tongue now sliding its way up her beautiful defined sweating body till it reaches her succulent mouth, and you lay just above her ready to impale her onto your cock whenever ready, “You ready baby” you ask into her ear.

“Please” she moans into yours, you gently bite down on her ear, and begin to slowly push your sizeable rod into her soft pussy.

“Ahh, ohh” she moans sweet but lustful, angelic but sultry moans into your perked ears.

you slowly pick the pace up pushing in and out of her slowly and delicately with deliberate intent and control behind each stroke similar to that of a master painter except instead of a brush you use your rod, and the picture you paint is that of great pleasure and beauty.

Your mouth latch’s back onto her’s, salvia being exchanged between them like the stocks you trade all day long, you explore your options that you now own inside her mouth, the returns look and more importantly feel great, you use your tongue to tug at and twirl around hers.

Your hands get more grabby, more aggressive, greed is common in what you do, and while you can control it all day long in this very moment you let it run wild, doing what you want with your hands, your mouth doing it’s thing too wildly exploring the most lucrative unexplored territory in history, even more then some gold mine in Peru.

You and Chae trade muffle moans and words of confirmation between your mouths, you bite down on her lips making her pussy twitch around your cock, clearly the roughness turns her on.

So you decide to rub and pinch her nipples, this pushes her and she gets hotter and hornier, the more you do the hungrier you get, and the closer you get too.

You decide to take what you want, so you wrap your hands around her and lift her off the bed, holding her in air, “ohh, god, what are you doing” she mumbles.

“giving you it as rough as you so want” you say before bringing her down slowly onto your cock, the angle changes the way it feels for both of you, for her it feels like being slowly impaled and she loves it, for you the mix of control and depth feels incredible.

You bounce her up and down faster and faster each time on top of your cock eliciting many sweet moans escaping her mouth.

you build till your at a rapid pace, slamming Chae’s body up and down on your cock making it disappear and then reappear again and again, her moans at a similarly rapid pace fill your expensive room.

“Chae I’m getting close” you say in one short puff of air.

“so, am, I” she moans having to gather her breath between each word.

Your mouths collide again like they are at war over ownership, your hands begin grabbing at the butt that they hold up, and you continue bouncing Chae up and down at a breakneck speed.

Her cute bum and lovely tongue push you closer and closer to your breaking point.

“oh my god, that’s so good” she moans in delight.

Soon you feel the need for release, so you throw Chae back up and then plunge her back down fully inserting her onto your rod, making her scream and start shooting her juices onto your body as you launch yours into hers.

As you come to an end riding out the high, Chaewon nestles her head into your neck, you feel her warm breath on your skin, as you both relax.

You whisper into her ear “Chae I’m going to work hard until the company lets me start working from home, and at that point I’m going to move to Korea.”

She giggles “okay, I’ll look forward to that mafia man.” And immediately after finishing her sentence she falls asleep on your shoulder.

You gently carry her to your bed and lie her down alongside yourself, and slowly you too drift to sleep, the only thing on your mind how much you love this woman.

To be continued.

#kpop smut #kpop gg #kpop #kpop fanfic #le serrafim #kim chaewon #male reader #ferrari

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hamsterclaw · 11 months

Text

Foolish

You keep going back to Namjoon, it's what you've always done. Then you meet Hoseok, who draws you away like he's not even trying.

Pairing: Hoseok x F! reader, Namjoon x F! reader

Word count: 7.7k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut, angst

Warnings: Sex, fuckboy Namjoon

Everytime, you tell yourself it’s the last time you’ll come back to Kim Namjoon.

Everytime it’s just one last time.

His hand leaves a print on your hip, his lips leave a trail down your neck, across your breasts. He often comes on your skin, a trail of white. He marks you everywhere he sees fit.

He doesn’t give a shit who sees.

You let him do what he wants.

Rinse, repeat.

Namjoon nudges you. ‘Hey, I have an early class.’

You don’t bother to respond, just get out of his bed, put your clothes back on.

You check you’ve got your phone, your keys, smooth your hair back down as you wait for the cab.

You let yourself out.

***

Your friend Jimin is funniest when he’s annoyed, like now.

You’re both working a shift at the grocery store.

He’s leaning on the stacked crates, supposed to be refilling the produce shelves but really just taking up room.

‘And so then he clicked his fingers and expected me to walk to him, like a dog.’

You have no idea if this is a sex story or a rude customer story.

Knowing Jimin, it could be either.

You start arranging the apples onto the display shelves as you listen to Jimin’s hilariously petty reaction.

It was a sex story.

Jimin stacks packs of cherry tomatoes beside you, chattering away.

You mmm and aaah at the right times, but your mind is elsewhere.

You’re thinking back to how the last few times you’ve met up, Namjoon hasn’t bothered to ask you to text him when you got home after being at his.

He used to.

There’s a thin thread of shame that tugs at you whenever you meet him now, and the pull’s getting stronger.

It wasn’t always like this.

He’d pursued you, coming into the diner where you worked weekend after weekend for months, flirting with you over pancakes until he’d finally asked you out.

You went on a few dates, and a few more and then somehow you’d slipped into what you have now.

He texts you when he’s horny and you come over.

Sometimes you don’t even talk.

You don’t know why you keep coming back, apart from that maybe you haven’t quite moved on from seeing him as the guy who was sweet to you over brunch. The one who dimpled and invited you to come hang at his place and took you to the park and got you ice-cream.

You wonder how he sees you now.

You snap back to attention when Jimin clears his throat pointedly.

‘You don’t have to listen to me, it’s fine,’ he says, bordering on dramatic, pout in his voice.

‘Sorry Jiminie,’ you say apologetically. ‘I was thinking about Namjoon.’

Jimin has no idea about how things are between you and Namjoon. There’s no way you’d ever let anyone really know how low your bar is set.

He finishes stacking the cherry tomatoes, moves on to the heads of broccoli.

You’re still on apples.

You wheel the empty crates back to the stockroom, concentrating so hard on not letting the crates slip that you don’t see the guy by the automatic doors.

‘Whoa!’ he says, stepping out of the way quickly, laughing.

You’re mortified, already apologising as you come to a dead stop. The crates wobble dangerously and you reach out, letting out a little cry as your fingers get clipped in between.

You yank your hand away, and the guy hurries forward. He grabs your hand, a look of concern darkening his face.

‘Are you ok? That must have hurt so much!’

You’re taken aback by how genuinely concerned he seems to be.

‘I’m ok,’ you say, as he rubs your fingers gently.

‘I have some support plasters,’ he offers.

‘I’m ok!’ you insist, waving him away gently.

He takes the trolley from you and stacks the crates in the corner.

‘Sorry to startle you,’ he says warmly. ‘My name is Hoseok, I’m new.’

His smile is infectious. You tell him your name, and he exclaims over how pretty he thinks your name is, even though it’s a fairly common one, as far as names go.

You’re amused by his charmingly over the top reactions.

Hoseok helps you load the greens onto your trolley, insists on pushing it with you to the fresh section of the store.

‘Don’t you have your own work to do?’ you ask.

He grins at you like he’s sharing a secret. ‘The broken oven got fixed so it’s taking me less time to bake the bread rolls,’ he confesses.

He reaches up for the hairnet over his hair, pulls it off and stuffs it into his pocket. ‘Does this make my hair flat?’

You look up at his very soft and fluffy looking dark hair. ‘Your hair looks great,’ you tell him, honestly.

‘Come by later on your break, I’ll save some rolls for you. I made some fillings last night to bring to work.’

His offer is so sincerely and sweetly made that you find yourself responding in kind.

‘Sure, I’d love to,’ you say.

He parks your trolley by the shelves, and gives Jimin a big smile in greeting.

You’ve never met anyone who smiles this much.

Jimin lifts a crate of cabbages and starts arranging.

‘What’s his deal?’ you ask, after Hoseok waves jauntily at you and walks away.

Jimin rolls his eyes. ‘He’s just a nice guy. People can be nice.’

‘No one’s that nice,’ you say, frowning.

‘Hoseok is. I’ve known him since way back.’

‘He must have a dark side,’ you mutter.

‘Yeah. He’s apparently an asshole in bed.’

You choke on air.

Jimin laughs at your reaction. ‘I’ve never slept with him but apparently he’s mean in bed.’

‘Like mean, how?’ you ask, more interested than you’d like to admit to yourself.

‘Why are you so interested?’ Jimin asks, slyly.

‘You brought it up,’ you argue.

Jimin laughs and refuses to say anything else and you pretend you’re not that interested anyway.

***

You’re awakened by your phone vibrating under your pillow.

You fish it out and stare at the number on the screen that’s evaded your caller ID.

Eventually you swipe to answer.

‘Hi,’ you say.

‘Hey,’ says a vaguely familiar voice. ‘It’s Hoseok. Jimin gave me your number.’

Your eyes open all the way, and you sit up so quickly you drop your phone into your duvet.

It takes you a moment to fish it out.

‘Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone,’ you say, when you’ve got it back.

‘I’m sorry, I hope I’m not disturbing you,’ he says.

It’s weird, you barely know him but you can hear the smile in his voice.

‘It’s fine, I should be up anyway,’ you reply.

‘Ah, sorry, I didn’t know you’d still be asleep.’

You check the time. Eeep.

‘What’s up, Hoseok?’ you ask.

‘I was wondering - do you like music? There’s a festival in Olympic Park today and I have a spare ticket and I wondered if you’d like to come with me.’

You blink, surprised.

‘I know it’s short notice,’ he says, when you don’t say anything for a bit.

‘No, I’d like to go. I’m free and easy.’

You slap a hand to your forehead, wondering why you sound like such an idiot.

‘I mean, I don’t have plans today.’

He sounds like he’s smiling again. ‘Ok. Meet you there?’

***

You look around for Hoseok when you get to the park, but he doesn’t keep you waiting.

He approaches you, smiling and bright in a yellow and black parka, sunglasses shading his eyes.

‘I brought snacks,’ he tells you cheerfully. ‘Thanks for agreeing to come with me.’

His manner is so relaxed and easy that you feel any awkwardness slip away.

The sun’s warm on your bare shoulders, Hoseok’s a nice guy, and he’s got the prettiest smile you’ve seen in a while.

You smile back at him. ‘I’m glad I came,’ you reply.

He holds out his arm, and you link yours with his.

It turns out Hoseok’s just as charming when he’s tipsy.

You’ve been drinking beer with him in the sunshine all day.

He blinks at you sleepily in the late evening sun as the last of the bands plays on the main stage.

He’s stretched out on the grass, face tipped to the sky. His profile is beautiful, all sharp angles accentuated by the height of his cheekbones.

‘You shouldn’t have let me finish off the beer,’ he tells you.

‘Oh no, are you too drunk?’ you ask lazily, laying down next to him, watching the clouds swirl in the late summer sky.

‘I’m sorry,’ he admits finally. ‘I was nervous and I drank too much.’

‘Nervous?’ This is news to you.

‘You’re very pretty,’ he informs you. ‘In case you didn’t know.’

‘You’re pretty too,’ you tell him.

He nods. ‘I know. But you’re prettier.’

This is the most ridiculous conversation you’ve had in a while, but somehow you don’t mind it.

You close your eyes briefly, and turn your head to see Hoseok looking at you intently.

‘Why are you nervous?’ you ask.

‘I want you to like me,’ he says, with an honesty that steals your breath.

‘Because?’

‘Because I think I could like you a lot.’

‘How much?’

You’re leaning over him slightly, too close for your intentions to be anything but clear.

Hoseok’s eyes drop to your lips.

‘A hell of a lot,’ he says.

In the end it’s Hoseok who initiates the kiss, one hand coming up to slip around the back of your neck.

He’s gentle but firm, lips pressing against yours, tilting his head to kiss you deeper.

You put your hand on his chest, and his own comes up to cover it.

When you pull away he lets out a soft sound of protest.

You’re smiling at each other like idiots, his hand still over yours on his chest.

The sun’s dropped low enough to cast shadows over his face.

‘I’ll take you home, ok?’ he says.

He packs up the picnic he made that you’ve been picking at all afternoon, slips his jacket over your shoulders, and walks you out of the park.

Darkness falls as you walk the few blocks home, adding a layer of distance between you, helping with your self-consciousness as, swaddled in his soft jacket, you realise just how attractive you find Hoseok.

You stop at the entrance to your building, and Hoseok looks up.

‘I had a nice time. See you next week?’

You’re slipping off his jacket, pressing it into his arms. ‘Thank you for asking me out,’ you tell him.

There’s a moment because you haven’t fully ended your sentence, and he looks like he’s waiting for the next thing you were about to say.

‘Do you want to come up?’ you ask.

Hoseok’s eyes study your face.

‘Honestly, I’d love to, but I shouldn’t.’

Like your goodbye, it seems open ended, like there’s more he would say if you waited long enough.

Your phone vibrates in the pocket of your dress.

‘I should go,’ you say.

Hoseok nods.

He waits until you’re up the steps, in the door, before he leaves.

***

Namjoon’s got his mouth open, nibbling at your neck. God, he feels good, teeth grazing your skin, tongue licking.

His hands are tucked in his pockets still, he hasn’t touched you even though you’re straddling his lap.

You lean back a little, ask, ‘hey, like my new dress?’

You curse yourself for your moment of weakness but the words are already out.

Namjoon raises a brow. ‘Thought you didn’t care what I thought.’

He’s referring to a fight you once had, when you were dating.

‘Yeah,’ you say, regretting asking.

You look at each other for a moment.

‘I should go.’

‘You just got here,’ Namjoon says, mildly. He doesn’t make any move to stop you as you climb off his lap, hands tucked in his pockets still.

‘I don’t think we should do this anymore,’ you say, forcing yourself to look him in the face.

‘You mean, fuck,’ Namjoon asks. His voice has its usual husky tone, but there’s a coolness to it now.

‘Yeah, fuck,’ you say.

Namjoon shrugs. ‘Sure. If that’s really what you want.’

He stands, and you’ve spent so much time horizontal with him lately you’d forgotten how tall he is.

He reaches down to take your hand.

‘You want me to tell you that you’re pretty?’ he asks.

‘No,’ you answer, but you don’t pull your hand away.

‘Look how hard I am,’ he tells you. He presses your hand over his erection.

‘That’s just biology,’ you say.

Namjoon scoffs. ‘It’s my biological response to having you grinding in my lap.’

He strokes up your arm. ‘Can I convince you to stay?’

‘Why would I stay?’ you ask, but you still haven’t moved.

Namjoon tugs the strap of your bra, leans down to mouth at your collarbones. His big hand curls around your back to steady you as he kisses your neck.

‘I don’t know, baby, do you want the happy ending or do you just want me to make you happy tonight?’

He sucks at your skin, and you get the familiar rush of pleasure pain you get when he marks you.

‘We’re not going out, are we?’

His hand slides down your ass, cupping you, pulling you taut against his groin.

‘I’m not your boyfriend.’

He’s walking you back into his bedroom, onto his bed. He pushes you back against the covers, hand behind your head to cushion you even though it’s soft.

‘We’re not getting married.’

His words are brutal in their honesty, and still you don’t push him away.

He tugs your panties down impatiently, rumbling his approval when he feels how wet you are.

‘But I make you like this,’ he says, fingers slipping inside you, thumb circling your clit.

‘Namjoon,’ you say, a warning.

He gives you a look so heated you lose your train of thought.

He hasn’t, though.

He grabs your thigh, pulls you down to the edge of the bed so he can keep leaning over you.

‘What, am I wrong?’ he taunts.

His fingers are stroking, scissoring inside you. He’s still gripping your thigh with his free hand.

He squeezes your thigh.

‘Am I wrong? Didn’t I get you wet like this?’ he asks. He scoffs. ‘Of course I did. Just like you got me this hard.’

He slides a hand over himself, grinding into his palm.

‘Just fuck me, Namjoon,’ you say. The pleasure’s building, making you tighten around his fingers.

‘I’ll fuck you,’ he promises. ‘Just as long as we’re clear that there’s no feelings involved.’

He stops touching himself, wraps his hand around your neck, tight.

You moan, and he laughs.

‘You’re so easy to please, baby,’ he says, mocking. ‘If I fuck you now you’ll come, won’t you?’

‘I hate you,’ you spit out.

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow. ‘Sweetheart, I don’t even think you’re convincing yourself.’

He yanks his jeans down, and he’s in you in one movement.

He groans as he bottoms out inside you, slams his hand down on the bed beside your head.

‘So fucking tight,’ he utters. ‘Who got you like this?’

He’s not waiting for an answer, rocking into you, balls slapping your ass with every firm thrust.

It’s just as well, you don’t think you could answer him anyway.

Namjoon fucks you good, it’s what he always does.

***

You’re cleaning up a spillage in the detergent aisle when Hoseok walks past.

‘Hey,’ he says, looking pleased to see you. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good,’ you say, returning his smile.

He’s in a standard issue blue polo shirt emblazoned with the store logo today, unlike the baggy fleeces you’re used to seeing him in.

You try not to stare at his exposed arms.

‘What are you doing after work today?’ he asks.

He takes the mop from you and wrings it into the bucket, then picks it up.

‘I’ll take this,’ he says, his tone brooking no argument. ‘It’s heavy.’

‘I don’t have plans,’ you say.

Hoseok beams. ‘I’m going to support my friend at this club night. Want to join me?’

‘What does your friend do?’ you ask, walking with him to the cleaning supplies closet.

‘He raps,’ Hoseok tells you. He grins. ‘I rap sometimes too.’

You see it. He’s got a rasp to his voice sometimes, an easy cadence to his words.

Somehow the idea of him as a rapper makes sense.

‘So, you want to come with?’ he asks.

‘I’d like to,’ you tell him.

He looks so pleased about it that it makes you feel brighter too.

‘Text me your address and I’ll pick you up at 8, ok?’

He saunters off with a cheerful wave.

You realise you’re looking forward to it.

***

There’s not a lot of space between you and Hoseok at this tiny club, he’s been leaning over you for most of the night.

Somehow your arm’s found its way around his waist, and you find you like having him this close.

Hoseok’s lips brush your cheek gently, and your heart pounds. This close, his eyelashes are long, his eyes beautiful, the line of his jaw irresistible. He looks so good.

You turn your head, chase his lips. He gives in with a willingness that makes your confidence soar. Like he’s wanted you this whole night and now he doesn’t want to wait anymore.

His lips are soft, but the way he kisses you is firm, chest towards yours, hand curled around the top of your hip bone. He kisses you like he knows better than you what you’ll like, and he’s got every intention of following through.

You haven’t got any interest in the next act, but as soon as you hear the voice, your eyes open.

Hoseok murmurs a little, pulls you closer into his chest.

You look up at the stage, and there, so close you can see the tic in his jaw as he takes in you and Hoseok, so intimately intertwined, is Namjoon.

***

‘This is my friend Namjoon,’ Hoseok says, after the set’s over.

Namjoon uses the towel around his neck to wipe his face, but he’s still out of breath, slick with sweat.

He tilts his head at you, dimples like it’s the first time you’ve met. Says nothing.

‘We’ve met,’ you say.

You’re a little away from the stage, far enough that you can hear each other over the next act.

‘Yeah, we’ve met,’ Namjoon confirms.

Hoseok regards you both with interest. He’s a nice guy, but he’s no fool.

You say, ‘That was a great set, Namjoon.’

‘Yeah?’ asks Namjoon. He pops the cork on a bottle of Dom, pours it out. Watches as you drink, a smirk on his lips.

You’re watching Hoseok.

‘How do you and Hobi know each other?’ Namjoon asks. He lays back, knees spread, thigh nudging yours.

‘We work together,’ you reply. You turn to Hoseok, but the smile freezes on your lips when you see his expression, the way he’s looking at Namjoon.

You want to touch him but the tense set of his shoulders gives you pause.

Meanwhile, Namjoon looks more relaxed than ever.

‘Hey, it’s getting late, I should probably get going,’ you say.

Hoseok looks at you for a long moment. ‘Yeah, I’ll take you home.’

The car ride’s the quietest Hoseok’s ever been with you.

By the time he pulls up outside your apartment you’re tight with tension despite the champagne.

‘Thanks Hoseok,’ you say, mustering a smile.

He can barely look at you, and for some reason that makes you feel like crying.

You unbuckle your belt, push the door open. You’re almost all the way up the steps when you hear the car door behind you.

You turn to see Hoseok hurrying up the steps.

He steps a couple feet in front of you.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Shit that was weird, wasn’t it?’

He gives you a half-smile, touches your arm.

‘Yeah,’ you agree. You smile back at him uncertainly.

‘I’ll see you at work Monday?’

This time his smile’s more like the cheerful friendly Hoseok you’ve come to know.

He waves at you as he walks back to his car, waits until you’re inside before he drives away.

***

You’re messing around with Jimin by the fresh flowers, emptying out the buckets, when Hoseok walks by.

‘Hey!’ you say cheerfully, waving a hand.

Hoseok smiles but keeps walking, heading round to the back.

You hurry to catch up.

‘Hoseok,’ you say, walking alongside him. ‘Jimin and I and some of the other guys are getting drinks after work, would you like to come?’

Hoseok hangs his jacket on the hook, puts on his apron.

‘I’m busy. Maybe another time, ok?’

He’s walking off without waiting for your answer.

You’re so taken aback by his brusqueness, a sharp contrast to the warm, kind Hoseok you’ve come to know that it takes you a moment to regroup.

When you get back to the flowers, Jimin’s finished filling the buckets.

‘You ok?’ he asks.

‘Yeah,’ you reply, forcing a smile. ‘I went to ask Hoseok to join us for drinks, but he’s busy.’

Jimin’s studying your expression.

‘Hey,’ he says. ‘Tell you what, we’ll grab food beforehand, ok? My treat.’

You smile at him, a real smile this time. ‘It’s your turn anyway to get dinner,’ you point out.

Jimin puts an arm around your shoulders, squeezes.

‘I’ll buy you whatever you want,’ he promises.

***

You’re three shots in, merry and listening to Jimin tell you about his weekend when Namjoon and Hoseok walk into the bar.

‘Shit,’ you hiss, slumping down next to Jimin.

Jimin throws you a sympathetic look as one of your colleagues, Dahyun calls Hoseok over.

You look down at your hands as Hoseok greets everyone at the table.

Thankfully you’re tucked in a seat against the wall.

You glance up, see the way both Namjoon and Hoseok are looking at you, and go back to looking at your hands.

As soon as they go to get drinks you tap Jimin on the shoulder.

‘I’m gonna go, ok?’

‘Let me take you home,’ Jimin says.

You wave aside his protests and make your way to the door.

You’re waiting for your taxi, shivering a bit in the cool night air, when you hear a familiar voice.

‘Going so soon?’ asks Hoseok. He’s standing a little away from you, hands tucked in his pockets.

‘Yeah, I’m tired.’ You give him a small smile and turn back to the road, willing your taxi to arrive.

‘I’ll wait with you,’ Hoseok says.

‘I’m fine, it’ll be here any minute,’ you say.

Hoseok steps closer. ‘Can I talk to you?’

You close your eyes. ‘Sure,’ you say. ‘About what?’

There’s a flash of headlamps as your taxi pulls up.

Hoseok opens the door for you, lets you in and gets in after you.

You’re too surprised to say anything.

Hoseok turns to you. ‘I don’t have to go to your place, I can get out as soon as we arrive at yours ok?’

He runs a hand through his hair. ‘I just want to talk to you for a bit.’

‘Sure,’ you say.

There’s a silence.

‘Namjoon’s my friend,’ Hoseok starts.

You’re wondering what he’s leading up to.

‘I needed to talk to him,’ Hoseok says.

You look out the car window, at the buildings flashing by.

‘I —‘

He stops again. ‘I like you,’ he says, simply. ‘But Namjoon’s my friend, and I just needed to know if he’d be ok with us dating.’

You feel hollow. ‘What did Namjoon say about us?’ you ask.

‘He said that you don’t have that kind of relationship,’ Hoseok replies.

You laugh bitterly.

‘If you wanted to know about me and Namjoon, you could have just asked me,’ you say.

He’s quiet.

Finally, he says, ‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’

The taxi pulls up outside your building.

You’re more hurt than you thought you’d be. Hot tears burn the backs of your eyes.

‘It’s fine, Hoseok.’

You can’t look at him.

You get out of the taxi. ‘I’ll see you at work, ok?’

Hoseok says, ‘wait’, but you’re already walking up the steps, letting yourself in.

You make it up to your apartment, and close the door behind you before you let the tears fall.

***

You’re sitting at the back of the room at the team-building day, half-asleep because it took you ages to get here on the train, to the ass end of nowhere.

Jimin’s sleeping quietly beside you, ball cap pulled low over his face. You’ve promised to wake him if he started sleep-talking.

Hoseok’s near the front of the room, not that you’d been looking out for him. You haven’t really spoken since that night at the bar.

Namjoon’s texted you a few times but you haven’t answered.

You can do better than a boy who just wants to fuck and a boy who can’t be bothered to talk to you like a goddamn decent human being.

You nudge Jimin awake when it’s time for the activity - a scavenger hunt in the woods where you’ll be paired off.

To your dismay, you don’t get to pick your teammate.

It’s fine, as long as you don’t get –

You swallow down the swear word that fills your mouth when you realise your teammate is Hoseok.

Of course it is.

Hoseok looks as thrilled about it as you do.

He grabs the sack you’ve been given, and you pick up your clipboard and pen.

‘Shall we head towards the lake?’ you ask, clipped.

‘Sure,’ he says, neutral.

You’re looking down the list. ‘Too bad it doesn’t ask for an asshole,’ you say, looking at him darkly. ‘Because you’re right here.’

Hoseok looks at you, straight faced. ‘Are you gonna be like this the whole time?’

‘Why don’t you call Namjoon and ask him, seeing as he knows so much about me?’

Hoseok tilts his head. ‘I said I was sorry about that,’ he tells you.

You sigh. ‘Forget it. The first item is a black rock.’

‘There’ll be loads by the lake,’ Hoseok says.

He sets off without waiting for you.

You’re loath to follow him but at least if you get this over with as soon as possible you can go back and take the next train out of this place.

Scowling, you follow in his tracks.

***

‘You look hot when you’re angry,’ Hoseok tells you. ‘That little frown line between your brows really suits you.’

You give him a dead-eyed stare. ‘Yeah, and you looked hot before you turned out to be a misogynistic asshole.’

‘Jokes on you,’ Hoseok mutters. ‘I always was one.’

The giggle escapes you before you can hold it back.

‘No wonder you’re friends with Namjoon,’ you scoff, turning away.

‘We have a lot in common,’ Hoseok allows. He side-eyes you. ‘We like the same type of women.’

‘Women that are too hot for you?’ you ask, straightfaced.

‘Yeah.’

You stumble on a rock, and Hoseok curls his hand under your arm to steady you.

‘There you go again, thinking I need you when I don’t,’ you snipe, jerking your arm away.

‘Yeah, next time I’ll just let you fall on your face,’ Hoseok agrees.

He sighs. ‘Honestly? Your bitchiness is giving me a hard-on.’

Your gaze flies to his crotch.

Hoseok lets you look. ‘I’m strapped in, but I’ll let you look at it properly later if you want.’

‘No thanks,’ you snap.

He shrugs. ‘I’m not gonna force myself on you.’

Then, as you’re looking at his face, he smirks, popping a dimple at the corner of his mouth. ‘I won’t fuck you until you’re begging for it.’

You raise a brow, nonchalant. ‘Guess we’re never fucking then.’

‘That’s my loss,’ he says.

He veers off to the right, behind a tree.

‘Got it,’ he says, emerging after a moment, triumphantly holding up an acorn.

You tick it off the list silently.

‘I don’t want to be an asshole misogynist again, but the path’s slippery here, be careful,’ he says, as you approach a steep sloping hill.

‘Thanks,’ you reply.

The path narrows, and he says, ‘Let me go up ahead, ok? Just in case.’

‘I’m fine with you dying first,’ you agree.

He looks back at you, smiles. ‘I would have asked you out sooner if I’d known you were like this.’

‘Intolerant of assholes?’ you suggest.

He laughs. ‘Mean.’

You’re indignant. ‘I’m not mean!’

‘No, I like it,’ he says. ‘Like I said, you’re giving me a boner.’

‘I heard you were mean too,’ you say.

He scoffs. ‘Only in bed.’

He smiles at you. ‘Wanna find out?’

You shove him, and he just laughs. ‘Come on, let me help you up the slope.’

He offers you his hand, and when you reach out for it, he pulls it away.

You look up at him, outraged, and he laughs again.

‘No, really this time,’ he says, putting out his hand again.

You push past him, and your foot slips.

‘Shit!’

Hoseok, quick as a cat, grabs you to steady you.

‘You ok?’ he asks quietly, holding your arm.

‘I’m fine,’ you mutter. ‘We have one item left, then we can head back.’

‘The elderberries?’ Hoseok asks. ‘I found those ages ago.’

You stare up at him. ‘You didn’t —’

‘Yeah, I wanted more time with you. Alone in the woods.’

You’d be more mad if he didn’t look so absurdly hot when he’s grinning at you like he is now.

‘Fuck, Hoseok.’

‘My friends call me Hobi,’ he says.

‘We’re not friends,’ you snap.

He almost looks hurt. ‘Aren’t we? Don’t you like hanging out with me?’

You’re about to say you don’t when you realise it would be a lie.

He holds out his arm. ‘Come on, it’s getting dark. We should head back.’

***

You’re one of the last teams to get back, and as you walk up you realise from Jimin’s reaction that you’re still holding Hoseok’s arm.

‘Can I give you a ride back? I drove,’ Hoseok offers.

‘I came with Jimin on the train,’ you say.

‘You can both fit in my car,’ Hoseok says, easy.

You wake up to Jimin saying goodbye to Hoseok, and sit up guiltily.

Hoseok turns back to you.

‘Are you ok? You looked tired so we didn’t want to wake you.’

‘I’m fine. Let me come round the front.’

You slide into the front passenger seat, and Hoseok pulls away from Jimin’s apartment.

‘You hungry?’ he asks, as he drives.

You sit up and realise that you are, a bit.

‘Depends, are we gonna eat together?’

Hoseok looks over at you, laughs. ‘We can sit separately if you want.’

You end up at some 24 hour noodle bar near where he lives.

Hoseok slurps his noodles, throws glances at you across the tiny table, until you set down your chopsticks.

‘What?’

‘I’m just regretting fucking things up so badly with you,’ he says.

You open your mouth, ready with a reply, and close it again.

‘Namjoon asked me out,’ you tell him. ‘He came round to where I worked, and then one day asked if I wanted to meet him, and I did. We went on dates, and I don’t remember when it all changed but then one day I realised we were just sleeping together.’

You look up at him.

‘He’s never lied or said he wants more,’ you say. ‘You know, there was this one night I was walking back from his place and some dude snatched my phone.’

You look out the front window at the street.

‘I was right outside his building, but it was only after I got home, all shaken up that I realised I hadn’t even thought about ringing his bell, asking to come back up and calm down.’

You laugh, short. ‘I guess I didn’t want to find out how little he really cares about me outside of bed.’

You don’t want to see Hoseok’s face right now.

Is he disgusted at how pathetic you are?

You look at your hands.

‘I should go.’

Hoseok’s standing. He hasn’t said a word since your confession.

He stops with his hand on the passenger door of his car.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says.

You risk a glance at his face only to find he’s looking at you. There’s an openness to his expression, a mixture of concern and kindness and something else you can’t read.

He opens the door, shuts it after you once you’ve climbed in.

The drive back to yours is short, and you’re grateful that he seems to not want to try to talk.

He pulls up outside your steps, kills the engine.

‘Let me walk you to the door,’ he says.

You’re surprised. ‘It’s literally ten steps.’

He walks up with you, stops at the entrance.

‘Namjoon and I are similar in a lot of ways,’ he tells you, putting a hand on your arm, ‘but not in everything. I wouldn’t want you to think I’d treat you the same as he’s done.’

You look up at him and the memory of him that day at the festival softens your gaze.

‘I know you’re not the same,’ you say.

‘Good,’ Hoseok says. He lets go of your arm.

He waits until you’re inside before he drives away.

***

You and Jimin stare, bemused, at the beautifully stocked display trays of fresh fruit and vegetables.

You haven’t even started your shift, but it looks like all your work’s been done for you.

You turn to Jimin. ‘Did you?’

‘Nope,’ Jimin denies.

‘Then who?’

Hoseok walks by, accompanied by a man you don’t know with a lip piercing and a fluffy looking wolf cut covering his face.

‘Hey, Jungkook and I arranged the fruit this morning. Do you guys want to go round the back? We made rolls and coffee.’

Nonplussed, you and Jimin follow Hoseok and Jungkook to the break room.

Hoseok pours you a mug of coffee, passes you a roll.

‘How are you doing?’ he asks, settling into the seat next to yours, leaning back.

His thigh brushes yours as he stretches out, and he moves it carefully away.

‘I’m good,’ you say. ‘You?’

‘I couldn’t sleep well thinking about what you said,’ Hoseok says.

You’re discomfited. ‘It’s fine, Hoseok, I didn’t tell you for any particular reason.’

‘I know. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry and I can do better.’

You’re quiet. ‘Why do you care?’

‘I like you,’ he says, with an honesty that takes your breath away. ‘Even when you’re mean to me.’

He smiles at your expression. ‘Especially when you’re mean to me,’ he amends.

You can’t help but laugh.

***

Hoseok’s gathering shopping trolleys in the car park when you walk out.

‘Hey,’ he says, pushing a long line of trolleys towards you. ‘Want to go watch a movie?’

You tilt your head, considering, and then decide to make the leap.

‘Hey. My mom dropped off a lot of food at mine yesterday. There’s enough for both of us if you’re interested.’

Hoseok beams at you. ‘Yes!’ he says, with such enthusiasm you’re smiling.

‘I just need to get my jacket,’ he explains. ‘Wait for me here?’

You’re waiting for Hoseok by the trolleys when a familiar voice says your name.

It’s Namjoon.

He’s decked out in blue, and white, tall enough to block out the late afternoon sun, handsome enough to make you stand up straight.

‘Hey,’ he says.

‘Hey.’

‘I haven’t heard from you lately,’ he says. He cocks his head, dimples at you. ‘You good?’

‘Yeah, I’m good.’

‘I’m ready,’ Hoseok says cheerfully, coming out the side of the store.

He stops when he sees you and Namjoon.

There’s an infinitesimal pause before he says, ‘Hey, Namjoon.’

Namjoon says, easy, ‘hey Hobi.’

‘We’re going to have dinner,’ you say.

‘Yeah,’ Hoseok says. ‘See you later, Namjoon.’

Hoseok puts a gentle hand under your arm. ‘Ready?’

You think you are.

***

Hoseok’s eating a cream puff.

There’s a dollop of cream on his top lip, and you put your hand on his arm to keep him still as you lean forward and lick it off.

Hoseok’s reflexes are quick.

He turns his head instantly to kiss you full on the lips.

Oh my. Is this what you’ve been missing?

His lips are sweet, and warm, and he’s responsive, following your lead as you deepen the kiss.

His tongue flicks at your lower lip, and then slides into your mouth.

His warm hand covers yours as you break apart.

‘Let’s go sit,’ you invite, gesturing to your couch.

Hoseok’s laying a trail of kisses along the line of your neck, tongue coming out to flick at your skin. His hand’s gently squeezing your covered thigh.

His chest is pressed against yours, and something about the solid warmth of him is making your head spin.

You’re squirming, impatient already even though he’s made no move to do anything but kiss you.

Hoseok sighs out a breath as he pulls away. He rests the side of his head against the back of your couch, lips curving in a smile.

‘I could do this all night,’ he tells you.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

***

Hoseok’s shirtless, lying on his back on your bedspread. His flat abs twitch as you run your tongue along them.

You reach the button on his jeans, tug at it with your teeth.

Hoseok’s hand comes up to grasp your hair.

‘You really want this?’ he asks.

‘We can just snuggle for a bit if you want,’ he suggests, voice low and warm.

He pulls you up alongside him, curls an arm around you, keeps his face close to yours.

He says, ‘I’ve wanted to be with you like this since that time at the festival.’

He reaches out, traces a finger over the upper curve of your breasts, exposed in your bra.

‘Fuck, you’re a menace,’ Hoseok mutters, but he doesn’t sound mad about it.

He traces circles on your arm lazily, lets you slide your hand over his bare chest. His flat nipples pebble under your touch.

‘You know what I think?’ he says, finally.

You raise your eyes to his.

‘I think you need to be told what to do,’ Hoseok says, thoughtfully. ‘You’re too pretty, I bet that’s what all the boys you’ve slept with tell you.’

Your brow furrows.

Hoseok nudges you down so you’re flat on the bed, hooks a thigh over your legs to slide you fully underneath him.

He braces himself with a forearm beside your head, rolls his hips slowly against yours, makes you tremble with want.

Hoseok says, a challenge in his eyes, ‘Bet you wouldn’t know what to do with my cock if I let you have it.’

You look at him, your irritation clouded by lust, by the way he’s still slowly grinding himself against you.

He laughs at you.

The bastard has the audacity to laugh at you.

‘Look at you, your lips like that, your eyes like that. Bet all you have to do is smile and you have guys creaming their pants.’

He leans closer, presses his lips to your ear, murmurs, ‘huh.’

You’re already so wet and needy you can barely keep up, but you muster up a retort, defiance in your tone.

‘I’m not some sort of pillow princess,’ you tell him, annoyed.

Hoseok laughs, voice so low and raspy now you can barely make out the words.

‘I think you are,’ he replies. He rolls his hips again, and you try to stifle a moan but you can’t.

‘It’s ok,’ he tells you, hand under your ass, pulling your hips up to his. ‘I like it.’

The chain around his neck’s dangling into the dip of his clavicles. You tuck your fingers into it, pull a little as you kiss him again, open mouthed.

Hoseok licks into your mouth like he loves the taste of you, sloppy, wet. As you run your hand down over his bare chest he groans.

He sits forward, tucks his fingers under the strap of your bra. ‘Can I take this off?’ he asks.

When you nod he unhooks your bra, tugs it off you.

He admires your bare breasts for so long your hands are already coming up to cover yourself when he says, stern, ‘Don’t.’

‘Hoseok —-‘

‘I’m staring,’ he explains patiently, ‘because I’ve been thinking about you like this for so long I can’t believe we’re finally here, like this.’

He kisses you off centre, at the corner of your mouth, flicking his tongue at the seam of your lips.

‘I’m staring because you’re such a pretty girl.’

He lowers his head, sticks out his tongue, laves the peak of your breast, pulling a whimper out of you.

‘Go on,’ he says, watching your face, lips against your breast. ‘Let me hear how much you like it.’

His thigh slips between yours, and you roll your hips against it, seeking friction for your aching clit, the emptiness between your legs.

Hoseok’s mouth is warm, and wet, and he grasps your hip, tight, as he suckles at your breasts.

Your first orgasm takes you by surprise, a burst of warm pleasure from your throbbing clit, your cunt pulsing around nothing as you cry out and buck your hips against his.

‘Easy, baby,’ Hoseok says, letting you ride out the waves of your pleasure, hand warm on your skin as he steadies you.

You lift your face to his, and he’s only too happy to give you his mouth. You’re still breathless from your orgasm, and when he slips a firm hand under your panties, you moan so loudly his ears ring.

Hoseok groans at the feel of you, warm and soft and slicking up his fingers.

‘Are you sensitive? Can I?’

You reach down and curl your fingers around him, and Hoseok can’t stop himself from grinding into your hand.

‘One sec,’ he grunts. He tears open a condom, passes it to you.

‘Go on, do some work, princess.’

You’re sitting up on legs that still feel like jelly.

Instead of rolling the condom onto his length, you take him in your mouth, suck at his head, and Hoseok swears and pulls you off him.

‘Damn you need to warn me if you’re gonna do that, I nearly came,’ he pants.

He kisses you again. ‘Behave yourself or you won’t get fucked.’

You pinch the tip, roll the condom onto him, and Hoseok pulls you on top of him.

He pinches the softness of your inner thigh, making you jump.

‘Line me up,’ he says.

You squeeze him as you position yourself, and Hoseok groans. ‘Fuck, you’re such a brat.’

He closes his eyes, huffs out a long breath as you take him in.

He’s deep, like this, snug. He grasps your hips, helps you move on his cock.

His head arches back into the pillow underneath it, neck bared to you as you ride him.

‘Use me, baby,’ he urges, bucking his hips up into you to fuck you a little deeper, grunting when you cry out.

He feels so good your oversensitivity gives way to building need.

‘Come on,’ Hoseok says. He cards his fingers through your hair, tugs you down so he can devour your mouth. He’s vocal in his enjoyment of you, groaning into your mouth, grasping your ass so tight he’s going to leave marks.

‘Look,’ he says, hoarse, helping you lift up off him so you can see your arousal glistening on his skin, on the insides of your thighs.

He swears. ‘Turn over.’

He pulls out, and you turn over, onto all fours. You tremble with want as he slides his cock against your slit, nudging you apart.

He’s back inside you in one smooth movement, curled over your back, hand on your tits, the other hand snaking down the front of your pelvis to rub your clit.

‘I’m gonna come,’ he tells you. His voice is raspy now, taut. ‘And I think I’m going to fucking love coming into this cunt.’

‘I think you’re gonna get so fucking tight I won’t be able to move.’

He strokes his fingers over your clit, and you cry out. He flicks his other thumb over your peaked nipple.

‘Shit, you’re so fucking soft, princess,’ he groans. ‘So fucking soft.’

You moan his name as his words push you over the edge.

‘That’s it, there you go, princess,’ he says. He drives himself into your pulsing cunt, deep, slow, and then he’s holding you tight, pulled up so your back is pressed to his chest. You can feel him twitching as he fills the condom.

Your arms buckle, and you drop onto the bed, taking him with you.

He rolls off. ‘Fuck, are you ok? Did I squash you?’

You’re still breathless but you manage a smile. ‘No, you killed me.’

Hoseok laughs. ‘Knew you were a princess.’

He sits up, staggers a little, and he disappears in the direction of your kitchen, coming back with a glass of water.

‘Drink up.’

As you drink he goes to the bathroom, returning shirtless but with his briefs back on.

‘All yours,’ he says. He passes you his t-shirt and your panties.

By the time you make it back he’s tidied up the clothes you shed, and is perched on the end of your bed.

He looks up at you.

‘I can go,’ he says, tentative.

You come closer, and automatically, he curls an arm around your waist, pressing his face into your front.

‘Why don’t you stay?’

Hoseok’s smile is bright, happy, pleased. ‘I’d like to.’

You hit the lights, and he holds up the covers for you to slide in, wraps his arm around you as soon as you’re in the bed.

Your phone buzzes on your nightstand.

‘Need to get that?’ he asks as you lift it to check.

He watches you swipe away the text from Namjoon, but all he says is, ‘What kind of coffee do you like? I’ll pick us up some in the morning.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ he promises. ‘I’ll get you whatever you want.’

#bts smut #hoseok x reader #hoseok fanfic #hoseok smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic

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skzsauce01 · 6 months

Text

What Was I Made For

Synopsis: College is hard, but it's even worse when you're a pre-med student and it's even, even worse when you don't want to go into medicine. Fortunately, the ghost that haunts your apartment is more kind, more annoying, and more helpful than you ever thought possible. College AU, ghost AU.

Warning: alcohol, bad parental relationship, mentions of death

Word Count: 6.2k

Pairing: f!reader x ghost!Kim Seungmin

A/N: Good luck with exams and classes!

“Honey, I’m home,” you call. The handles of the reusable grocery bag you picked up from a club booth at the beginning of the semester are already starting to fall apart, so you’re forced to flip on the light switch with your shoulder blades. You glare at Seungmin, who is lounging on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Could you at least pretend to help?”

“What’s the point? I can’t even eat whatever you bought.”

You sigh and set down your haul onto the tiny kitchen island that doubles as a dining table. When you make a big production of taking out your groceries, Seungmin still doesn’t look up. Despite his inability to eat food, he usually shows some interest, if only to judge your snack choices.

On the counter, bananas in a plastic produce bag to prevent fruit flies, and a new roll of paper towels. On the top shelf of the fridge, a tub of Greek yogurt that Seungmin makes fun of you for liking. Assorted salad mixes in the crisper. A whole rotisserie chicken and a carton of eggs on the middle shelf. In the cabinet goes a party-sized bag of barbeque chips, a pack of chocolate chip cookies you don’t want to discuss how much you paid for, and a box of protein bars.

You take the last item out of the bag and hide it behind your back. You hover over Seungmin. “Guess what I got?”

“A bag of potatoes that will grow spuds because you can’t finish them all.”

“That was one time! Try again.”

He guesses wrong again and again, so after the fifth attempt, you hold your prize in front of his eyes. “A better vegetable peeler, just like you told me to. Are you proud of me?”

For a moment, his sullen eyes brighten at the memory of you struggling with your old peeler. He watched with great amusement as the flimsy blade repeatedly got caught on carrot skin and you grew more infuriated with each catch. In the end, you gave up and ate the skin, fuming with each bite of your meal. Seungmin laughed so hard, you thought he would lose control of his physical form and slip through the floor.

He sighs, all of the joy escaping through his lips. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, it’s just one of those days.”

“We all have them. Hey, why don’t we do something tonight? I’m done studying, so we can watch a movie or play Mario Kart or something.” You plaster a smile on your face. “Fun, right?”

“You’re never gonna get into med school if this is how you work.”

Despite his admonishments, he sits up and swings his legs off the couch to make room for you. He didn’t choose an activity so Mario Kart it is. You leave your peeler on the coffee table and grab your joycons. When you flop beside him, tossing the blue one in his lap, he grumbles as he’s jostled around.

“I don’t even wanna go to med school,” you remind him. He already knows since it’s all you complain about these days as the MCAT draws closer, but that’s never stopped you from repeating yourself.

“Wow, what a problem. I’d die to go to med school.”

Without thinking, you snort. “Too late for that.”

Seungmin has been dead for nearly two years. The old apartment complex burned down in an electrical fire, and due to the housing demand in the area, the university quickly built a new one in its place. Sure, you suspected it was probably haunted, but rent was on the cheaper side, especially for a single room, so you moved in and learned about your unofficial roommate during your first night. You thought you were going to faint when you saw a stranger leaning over your stack of practice books, and you thought you were going to be killed when he simply said, “I was also pre-med.”

“Sorry,” you meekly say. Why is the Mario Kart music so cheerful? It would be worse if it was sad, but the upbeat tune just makes your mistake more poignant. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he interjects. “Doesn’t matter. You better not pick Birdo this time.”

While you normally would have fought him six ways from Sunday for Birdo, you choose Yoshi instead and pick his favorite circuit to start off the night. He makes no comment about your sudden generosity, but you both know the reason. There’s no such thing as pity in this household, but apologies are aplenty.

When you come back from your anatomy lab the following day, whatever guilt you felt is gone when Seungmin holds up your pack of cookies with a disapproving look. You must have forgotten to put it back in the cabinet before you left. Either that or Seungmin rummaged around your belongings when the roommate contract stated that he could not and would not.

“You seriously paid for these?” he says.

“They’re good! And artisan,” you huff as you snatch the package from his hands. You hope you didn’t crush any cookies in the process. “I support small businesses.”

“They haven’t been a small business or artisan in, like, twenty years. How did the cat dissection go?”

You reach for an overpriced cookie and snap off a piece with more force than necessary. “Fine. A little gross, but I guess I’m used to that by now. You wanna see the pictures I took?”

He tries to feign nonchalance, but his body seems more substantial, less ghost-like as you scroll through your camera roll. Even though he oohs and aahs at the most inappropriate images—you really don’t think the digestive structures of a cat deserve that much admiration—you can’t help but smile. He hasn’t looked or sounded this lively in weeks. You thought it might have been your snark rubbing off of him, but he always has a biting remark at the ready, remedied only with his good-natured demeanor. Of course, that demeanor has been slowly crumbling, so to see him be his usual self again feels good.

Satisfied, he lets you take your phone back. “Sometimes I miss lab. I hated doing the lab reports though; have fun with that.”

And just like that, your happiness goes out. “That’s tomorrow’s problem. I should study before work. You wanna help me out? I hate physics.”

Look, if your roommate were a pre-med student, had unlimited time, and no other obligations, you would force them to help you study, too. Plus, Seungmin loves MCAT practice, so it’s a win-win.

To your surprise, he doesn’t jump at the opportunity like he typically does. Under normal circumstances, he would be scouring the living room for where he last left his flashcards. Instead, he says, “Why don’t you take a break?”

“A break? You, of all people, suggest that I take a break when you were just telling me about my bad study habits? Who are you, and what have you done with Seungmin?”

He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do physics that badly.”

“I don’t. This is weird from you though.” However, after a moment of contemplation: “Whatever. Pick a show to watch. I’m gonna draw.”

He selects House because he’s still Seungmin after all. This is the show that inspired him to go into medicine, and is, as he’s mentioned many times before, “the greatest show on the planet.” It’s entertaining, you admit, and you do like seeing all of the obscure medical cases Dr. Gregory House solves, but it’s a grim reminder of your parents’ dreams for you. With the dialogue of the characters echoing in your head, you sketch a frog sitting on top of a stack of pancakes. You initially bought your tablet for note taking, but it really is much better as a tool for art.

“It’s always animals, plants, or dessert now,” Seungmin remarks, craning his head to get a better view while you continually pull your screen away. “What happened to your big fantasy pieces?”

“Rule one: no looking until I say so. Rule two: no questions unless I say so. Remember?”

He ignores you. “You used to do a lot of those things when you first moved in. With the crazy landscapes, guys with abs in crop tops, cat-ear ladies with fancy dresses, villains who you definitely wanted to—”

“I get it!” Your face is blazing. He makes your artistic—purely artistic—interests sound so much worse than they are. “I’ve just been busy with life, so I don’t have time to work on them anymore. Anyway, animals, plants, and desserts are cute.” In a smaller voice, you add, “And they make me happy.”

Just like pictures of a flayed cat makes him happy.

He goes quiet and lets Dr. House fill the air. While he pretends to be engrossed in the show, you turn back to your sketch to fix your frog’s eyes to be less downcast. No sad frogs allowed.

You don’t remember exactly when the dread began, but you do distinctly remember glancing over the syllabus for your genetics course and wanting to collapse. Each item was manageable by itself, but the totality of the class, of your future classes, of your future hurtled at you at full force. For so long, you convinced yourself you could do it. You would complain the whole time, but at the end, you would be addressed as ‘Doctor’ and you would be happy. Your parents would be happy, so you would be happy and realize that it was all worth it.

Even if you cried every night, it would be worth it.

You took a deep breath, looked at the list of assigned textbooks, and pulled out your credit card. You went through more dire situations than this stupid course. This would be easy enough.

Two weeks after the art fiasco, you finally test out your new vegetable peeler on potatoes. Your friend gave you five for free since she was having trouble finishing the large amount she bought. While you stand over the sink, humming a song your neighbor has been practicing for the past week, Seungmin is hunched over the coffee table, doing something secretive with flashcards. He’s been working on a new set of them since the art fiasco, which makes no sense since you have a perfect set of a thousand that you bought online. But no, he has been toiling day and night to create handmade ones. You don’t even want to know where he got the supplies.

Well, you already know where and how, but if your neighbors come knocking, you know nothing.

In fear that you’ll “ruin the surprise,” you have been forbidden from even stepping foot onto the living room carpet. Really, there’s no point because you can get a glimpse if you lean across the island. Nevertheless, you keep your eyes on the growing pile of potato skins. You have five potatoes worth of fries to make.

Ten minutes later, when you have moved onto slicing, Seungmin declares that he’s done. He places the baking sheet you left on the island onto a chair and triumphantly sets down his masterpiece.

When you pick up the topmost one, you can’t help but smile. Alongside the words “absolute threshold” is a cartoon rabbit with alert ears. Tiny music notes are dotted on the top edge of the card.

“To make your studies less stressful,” he says.

You don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re always some degree of stressed but nevertheless thank him. The flashcards are adorable, even if Seungmin’s drawing skills aren’t the best. “Newton’s first law” has an indistinguishable creature kicking a ball, and “law of independent assortment” features some of the strangest plants you have ever seen.

“I love them.”

“What do you think of my art skills? Better than you, right?”

You laugh and turn back to your cutting board. “You should’ve considered art school instead of med school. Professional artist Seungmin,” you muse. “I can see you in galleries and museums.”

“Don’t forget the history textbooks. Why didn’t you consider art school? You would be perfect for video games or something.”

For some time, you did consider art school. You spent the first two years of high school daydreaming about sitting behind an easel, translating a model’s likeness onto paper. Perennial paint splatters on your jeans, permanent charcoal stains on your fingers—that was the only way you wanted to study human anatomy.

“My parents. You know how it is. Can you season the fries in the bowl?”

While Seungmin dumps copious amounts of salt, pepper, and whatever random spices he picked from the cabinet, you reflect on your teenage self. A part of you knew that drawing would only be a hobby, but another part kept hoping your parents would come around. When Hyunjin’s parents announced he was going to study chemistry, your mom wondered why he didn’t choose art when he was such a good artist. In fact, half the neighborhood, whose children went into STEM fields one way or another, were shocked he chose chemistry. Of course, if their own kids had opted for non-STEM majors, they would have been livid. Just like your parents had been.

“Did you ever think about not going into medicine?” you ask as you add more potato slices into the bowl.

He adds a swirl of oil to the mix. “No. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I volunteered at the hospital in high school, got an internship at a clinic here. I was studying for the MCAT and then…”

And then the university’s outdated housing killed him. It sounds horrific when phrased like that, but it’s more truthful than “Promising Young Pre-med Student Kim Seungmin Dead After Apartment Fire,” as the city newspaper headlined. His student ID photo smiled earnestly at readers, and a recent picture showed him posing in a lab coat.

It hits you then. Seungmin is dead. You knew this logically; you saw the articles, passed by the vigil, and signed the student letter demanding better accommodations. Then you forgot his existence until you applied to live in this building and when he appeared in your bedroom, you forgot about his death. Despite witnessing him walk through walls and tiptoeing around his deceased status, Seungmin has never really been dead to you. He’s your roommate who sleeps in the living room, your study partner who loves all things related to biology, or your friend. He’s too alive to be anything else.

“Did you preheat the oven?” he asks, breaking you out of your spiraling thoughts. Your body went on autopilot, and now the baking sheet is covered in pale potato sticks.

You glance at the dark oven and head over to do what you should’ve done twenty minutes ago. “My bad.”

“You’re the one eating these. Can you even finish all this?”

It’s far too much, but what else were you going to do with five potatoes on the verge of going bad? You suppose you could have not accepted them from your friend. “I can try?” you say, more to convince yourself than him. “I’m no coward.”

“Really? Then why do you hide when we watch horror movies?”

“That’s different. Mario Kart while we wait?”

“I call Birdo.”

Despite his declaration, you’re the one playing Birdo while he settles for Waluigi. Seungmin gloats when he hits you with a red shell, laughs when you fall off the track, and celebrates when he gets first place. He’s practically corporeal, alight with hopes and dreams you wish were your own, but he’s only the echo of the past. Meanwhile, blood flows through your veins and oxygen into your lungs, yet you’re stuck in a potential future you don’t even want.

At the end of fall, between your human biology midterm and that stupid philosophy paper, you break. It’s during one of your MCAT practice exams, so you at least can cry at your desk. You can’t even cry without guilt; your mind immediately starts trying to reread the problem you’re stuck on through your tears, as if trigonometry will solve your crisis.

It feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Every time you think you’ve calmed down enough to begin again, another wave of sobs overcomes you. Just holding your pencil makes your throat tighten.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin’s voice is slightly muffled by your bedroom door, but you doubt that a thin piece of wood concealed your cries.

You choke out, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“... No.”

You swing open your door with sardonic fanfare, spreading your arms like a ringmaster. Seungmin makes no comment about your swollen eyes or your sniffles. You almost wish he had.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks. He takes a tentative step into your room, and when you nod, he lets himself fully in. It’s been several months since he’s last been inside. Unmade bed, cluttered nightstand, paper-strewn desk—nothing much has changed. He sits on your chair, resting an arm on top of the throw blanket you’ve thrown over the back.

“I don’t know what there is to talk about,” you say after a moment of silence. “I hate class, I hate work, I hate my life. A breakdown has been long overdue.”

You stare at the floor, afraid to meet his gaze now that he’s seen you like this. Ever since you discovered Seungmin, you’ve crafted the perfect blasé attitude to accommodate your new living circumstances. He leaves you alone sometimes and stays cordoned off in the shared spaces to give you privacy, but you don’t break apart in your apartment for good reason. You’re open and raw like a bloody wound. Will he want to patch you up with bandaids, or will he pick and prod?

Pick and prod, you pray. Make some flippant remark about how easy you have it, how he wishes he could be in your position instead. Because if he does, then the situation must not be that bad.

Softly, Seungmin says, “What can I do to help?”

Your heart drops to your stomach. “I don’t know… I should probably get back to studying anyway.”

“Really? Are you serious?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” you snap. Seungmin at least has the decency to look sheepish. “The MCAT’s in July, and I don’t even understand half the things I’m supposed to know. I’m barely getting C’s in philosophy and art history because of it. That’s so humiliating.”

“Have you thought about, you know, not going to med school?”

A harsh laugh rips out of your throat. “Every single day. But it’s too late. I’ve already wasted four years, so what’s another four?” That doesn’t even include residency.

“You’d hate it.”

“Story of my life.”

The room goes quiet. Maybe you were too severe with your words, but how else do you explain it?

“What if you became a medical illustrator?” he abruptly suggests. “You’d know exactly how to draw everything. It’s perfect for you. And it’s still STEM-related.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s in STEM. Your parents laid out your options very clearly: doctor or disappointment. Some career choices were less disappointing than others, but they would still be disappointments.

“I need to study,” you say.

He stands up from your rightful seat at your desk. Softly, so very softly, he says, “I’ll let you get back to it then.”

“Thank you.”

He shuts the door behind him and leaves you with your despair. True to your word, you return to your practice exam, this time without crying. Your mouth is dry the entire session, but you don’t dare drink any water in fear that rehydration will trigger your tears. It’s stupid but keeps you holding on.

When you check your answers and review terminology, you refer to the set of flashcards Seungmin made for you. He didn’t expect you to use them, but his drawings have helped you better memorize the definitions. You shuffle through them, occasionally trying to figure out the relationship between whatever Seungmin drew and the word written. Other times—but not enough for your liking—you know exactly what they mean.

The rabbit from “absolute threshold” stares at you with lopsided eyes, and Mendel’s warped pea plants grow beneath your fingers. The whole world blurs.

A month after move-in, after too many beers and barbeque chips, you asked Seungmin, “Why do you haunt only me? You can travel through the whole building, but you’re only ever here.”

He gestures at the room with a sweeping flourish. “This used to be my apartment. Sort of. They changed the floor plan, but this is the approximate location of where I lived, so when you moved in, it felt like fate.”

“Ah, a med school sufferer to keep you company.”

He laughs, but it sounds insincere. “How drunk are you right now?”

You glance at the row of empty cans you lined up on the counter. One, two, three, four, five. Five and a half, if you count the one in your hand. “Pretty drunk, I think.”

“So you won’t remember what I tell you, right?”

“Probably not,” you lie. “What is it?”

With a sad smile on his face, he says, “I haunt you because it’s like seeing someone live the life I could’ve had. Would’ve had.”

Your outburst doesn’t go forgotten, but you and Seungmin dance around the topic with the grace of a seasoned ballerina. You show him your grocery hauls, he scolds you for buying expensive cookies. The two of you play Overcooked instead of Mario Kart and pretend that Overcooked will strengthen your friendship instead destroy it even further. Seungmin is really bad, embarrassingly so.

“Are you going to the party this weekend?” he asks as he drops onions all over the floor. There’s no health department in the game.

“I would ask you to be more specific,” you say, “but we both know I’m not going to any parties. Go chop the onions.”

“You need friends.”

“I have friends. Who do you think keeps us giving us potatoes?”

He scoffs. “That’s not a friend. That’s an enemy. We need more dishes.”

While you wash a stack of dirty dishes, Seungmin dashes between prepping ingredients and watching the timer on the soups. As expected, he doesn’t take the pot off the stovetop quick enough, and soon enough the whole kitchen is in flames. You scream at him to get the fire extinguisher, he wades through the sea of onions, and the level ends with a single gold star.

You set your joycon down and lean your head back. “Three stars or nothing” is your motto when playing Overcooked, but perhaps you can make an exception for Seungmin.

“Why’d you ask me about a party?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Seems like a college student thing to ask. And a college student thing to do. Go to parties, I mean.”

“Not for us.” You stretch your arms and legs out, knocking your socked feet against the coffee table. “When have you ever seen me willingly leave the apartment?”

“Never,” he admits, “but you should enjoy your youth.”

Whatever mutual agreement you thought you and Seungmin had does not exist. You have long known that you would have to sacrifice your twenties for your future. There would be good moments among your struggles, but so many of your memories would be of test prep and studying. As your parents so eloquently put it, “You can draw after you retire.”

“That’s funny coming from you,” you say. You wave a hand in front of his face and observe the way his eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you really Seungmin?”

“Do you know any other ghosts?”

“Do you actually regret dedicating so much time to studying?”

“No. I mean, I went out when I could, but you…” He mindlessly thumbs the buttons of the controller as he tries to find his words. “Well, maybe I do a little bit, but it was fulfilling. Or was going to be anyway. You’re miserable. I’ve never seen you without dark circles or eye bags.”

How needlessly observant of him. “Thanks. It’s the quintessential college look.”

“Take care of yourself.” He raises his joycon and nods at the TV. “Let’s go again. Three stars only.”

And just like that, you and Seungmin go back to pretending as if everything is fine, like the last few minutes were idle chatter about the weather. You yell instructions at him, and he retorts back with something snarky; all is well.

You suppose you should have realized why Seungmin asked you such out-of-character questions two weeks ago. Death anniversaries don’t typically go onto your calendar, but you could have made an exception for Seungmin. How did you forget? As you walk down the stairs, a wave of guilt washes over you.

The annual university-held vigil occurs on campus, but the apartment complex has their own small affair in the courtyard. Framed photos of the victims huddle together at the base of a half-wall. Already, there are several flowers and notes strewn about, and you add your own carnation to the pile. You have a note as well, and it burns your hand as you debate whether to leave it or not.

Twelve people died that night. “Only” twelve, as some papers reiterated. Twelve out of three hundred doesn’t seem too horrific given the state of the fire, but that’s still twelve people dead. Plenty more got injured trying to escape, and they aren’t honored at this memorial. The living don’t get commemorated—they live with the memories of the day, and that’s remembrance enough for the public.

“Hey.”

No one else is around, so you say, “Hey,” back to Seungmin. He disappeared for a few hours, and you assumed he would be gone until sunrise. In the days leading up to his death anniversary, he has grown increasingly depressed, looking vacantly out the window and mouthing words to himself. You idiotically thought he was just having one of those days.

“How are you holding up?” you ask.

“Fine, I guess. Good turn out this year,” he remarks as he kneels down to pick through the gifts. “The construction workers didn’t even show up to work because of superstition or something.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know, it’s just…” You wave the folded notebook paper in your hand. Maybe you should’ve bought some stationery after all. “Read this later. I’ll see you whenever.”

You gently place it beside your carnation, return back to your apartment, and lock yourself inside your room. It’s too quiet, and you’re too restless. Your head tells you to do practice problems to burn off your energy, but all you’ve been doing as of late is listen to your head.

As you sketch an anatomical heart—underneath a completely necessary and painstakingly accurate rendering of a male torso—your bones say that this is right.

To Kim Seungmin, a star that went out too soon—

You deserved so much more than this. I don’t even know what else to say because nothing feels more appropriate.

I’m living in your old apartment—where it used to be, at least—and I can’t help but feel that I’m living the life you should have had. Sometimes I can feel your presence when I’m studying. I can hear you reciting definitions and shuffling flashcards. When I’m really losing my mind, I can see you sitting on the couch watching House episodes with me. It’s comforting and terrifying.

You already know this, but I don’t want to go to med school. I hate it and I hate being a disappointment to my parents, but I hate being a disappointment to you the most. You should be in my place, so I thought I should try and complete your dream for you at the very least. I’m already miserable, so I should make the most of it. For a while, I thought this would make you happy, but it’s been making you sad and worried recently. I thought if I could make you happy, then it would be worth it, but I’m realizing it’s not, but I’m too scared to leave this path. Sometimes I don’t know who I am without med school looming over me, and it

I wish we would’ve met earlier. You’re an amazing person, full of light and kindness. The world is darker without you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done and for everything that I didn’t do because you deserve so much better than whatever you’ve been given.

“Do you want to talk?”

Seungmin’s upside down face appears between you and the iPad you have been holding up with both arms. Philosophy review is simultaneously boring and maddening, but you have a final to be studying for. You should’ve started much earlier, but twenty-four hours of cramming has not failed you when it comes to general education elective courses yet.

“Not really,” you say as you push his face out of view. He’s corporeal at the moment, so your hand meets resistance rather than going right through. “I’m busy.”

“Did you apply for a ‘biomedical visualization’ program? That’s a medical illustrator thing, right?”

You don’t need to look at him to know he’s thrilled. Since the memorial, you began looking into medical illustrators as a backup plan. You only meant to learn about the basic requirements, but curiosity got the better of you, and you attended an online informational session. Seungmin overheard bits and pieces because of how thin the walls are, you got cagey when he asked, and he put his endless hours of free time into detective work.

“I didn’t apply. I’m just looking around. Now go away.”

“The living room is a communal space. So you’re considering it then?”

You don’t respond and bring your iPad closer to your eyes. To read the tiny notes on the margins of your classmate’s notes, of course.

Seungmin cackles and claps his hands. “You are! This is good! Why are you so morose?”

“Because you interrupted my studying? I have less than ten hours to cover three months of content.”

“You’re deflecting. Are you worried about your parents?”

“Morose and deflecting,” you murmur. “Two gold stars for your vocabulary usage.”

“Are you?”

You shut your eyes, envisioning the stern faces of your parents when you announce over dinner your plans to spend your life not being a doctor. Their expressions morph from confusion to anger to grim when they realize how serious you are.

Are you serious about this? You’re not even sure yourself. It feels like you’re in high school again, holding onto a shred of hope for a future you aren’t allowed to have.

“What if I lie to them?” you say. “I tell them I got into a school that’s super far away, go there, and return when I’ve firmly established myself as an illustrator or whatever I end up doing. It’ll be too late for them to do anything.”

“That’s one way to do it. But wouldn’t it be better if you were upfront?”

You groan and turn back to your classmate’s notes. What is it like, you wonder, to not be crushed by the weight of approval? What is it like to know you won’t be scorned for your choices? No matter what you do, someone—your parents or Seungmin—will be upset.

“Upset” is a very mild way to describe your parents’ reactions. After six cans of celebratory beer—you passed all of your classes this semester!—you called your parents to tell them good news. Somewhere between the silent congratulations and questions of your home arrival, you blurted out, “I think I’m gonna do biomedical visualization. Medical illustration. Art. It’s still medical-related, but not a doctor.”

And after a lengthy discussion filled with shouting, you’re not allowed to come home this year or ever again. CALL ENDED flashes on your screen, but you grip your phone so tightly you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. Your whole body is tense, flushed with indignation and shame. No tears come. You expected something like this but nothing to this extreme. Their words echo in your ears.

Ungrateful. Selfish. Disgrace.

Logically, you know you’re none of those things, but you can’t help but feel they’re at least a little bit right. You sink into your desk chair and wait for the inevitable knock on your door. To step out of your own accord would be mortifying.

“Are you okay?” asks Seungmin.

“I’ve been disowned in every way except legally,” you answer as you let him inside your room. “What do you think?”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s…”

It’s not fine, but your mouth started saying so by default. You perch on the edge of your bed and stare at the stack of practice books that have been untouched for two days on your dresser. They would belong better under your bed where they’ll be out of sight.

Suddenly insecure, you ask, “You’re not gonna leave me, right? You’ll still help me peel potatoes and let me know when my artisan cookies are on sale?”

He chuckles. “The only way you can get away from me is by moving or by graduating. I’ll be here. Instead of nagging you to study, I’ll critique your anatomy.”

“That’s against the rules.” Nevertheless, you smile at the thought of Seungmin hyperfixed at your artistic renderings and comparing them against pictures from a textbook. “Thanks.”

Seungmin smiles back, and he radiates so much warmth that you forget it’s winter.

EPILOGUE

“Honey, I’m home,” you call.

You nearly trip over the door sill in your heels but catch yourself in time. Wearing heels to commencement is a bad idea for more reasons than one. Clutching your friend’s graduation bouquet, you flip on the light switch with the back of your hand and glance over your apartment. Other than the dozens of boxes scattered across the living room and kitchen, nothing else belongs to you; goodbye coffee table you stubbed your toes against too many times; goodbye peeling school-issued couch. You half-expected to see Seungmin lying on it, staring at the ceiling like he used to.

“Seungmin, where are you?” When he doesn’t answer, you try again. “Anyone home?”

You wander around the small apartment, checking behind doors and furniture like you’re playing hide-and-seek. He’s nowhere to be found, and you go through the apartment again in a frenzy. He could be in a different part of the building, but he always knows when you’re looking for him.

“Where are you? Seungmin, this isn’t funny! I know you can hear me.”

It takes twenty minutes, but you eventually realize he’s gone for good. No goodbyes, no hugs, no teasing—he just waved you off to your ceremony and shut the front door. You knew he wouldn’t be able to help you move out, but you thought he would still be here when you returned. He researched additional art classes for you, suggested works for your portfolio, and consoled you whenever you were overwhelmed. It’s a knife to your heart that he’s not here.

In between tears that you don’t allow to fall from your eyes, you carry your boxes of belongings to your car. You have a new place to call home, but two perfectly nice housemates and a dog aren’t good replacements for a ghost who annoyed you from sunrise to sundown.

I hope you find this note eventually. I know we have the rule where I’m not supposed to go through your belongings, but since we’re not going to be roommates any longer, I hope you’re not too mad. Completely unrelated but you’re really good at Mario Kart. So good. Birdo was designed specifically for you.

Congratulations on graduating. You’ve worked hard this year. Could have worked harder sometimes but you did it! Relax a bit during your gap year and enjoy your youth. Those art classes will be easy for you. Biomed visualization will be easy after pre-med studies.

Stop rolling your eyes and sighing. You know I’m right.

I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I know you wanted it, but I don’t think I could have handled it. The truth is that I was ready to go a couple months ago when you started compiling your portfolio. For two years, I didn’t know why I was still here. At first, I thought my unfinished business was about the circumstances of my death. (Stop wincing. I’m dead. It’s a fact.) Then the administration stepped up. They did the bare minimum, to be honest, but at least changes were made. When you turned up, I thought I was supposed to fulfill my dream of going to med school. Turns out, I still have no idea what exactly why I was here, but seeing you live the life you want and choose the future you want makes me feel like business is finished.

To L/N Y/N, a star that will keep shining for decades to come—

I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve done so far. There are so many opportunities waiting out there for you, so don’t be afraid to take any chances. I’ll be with you always.

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