#i was also tipsy when i wrote what i have so like. duh of course it makes no sense

[pascalslittlebrat]

Drunk Dial

Rating: T

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count: 4223

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, tiny bit of language, other than that this is just some soft shit with a bit of angst

Summary: Javier left you broken years ago. Now he’s back and after a little too many drinks with friends, you can’t help the draw to call him and let the liquid courage try to give him a piece of your mind.

A/N: big thanks to @autumnleaves1991-blog for Writer’s Wednesday, I saw the picture last night and immediately started writing this. Forgive any mistakes I wrote this around 1am and honestly fell asleep at some point. May this make up for the more deep angst I’ve put out😂 Big thanks to @mothandpidgeon for keeping me from overthinking! Enjoy me once again trying to write a drabble and ending up with a One Shot and me being slightly self indulgent in wanting someone to keep my ass grounded during hard shit.

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“Hello?” the familiar deep voice answered hoarsely on the other line. God, how many years had it been since you had heard that grumpy tone?

Your heart races at the sound of Javier’s voice and you couldn’t help but be thankful for the liquid courage flowing through your veins or you’d be kicking yourself for obviously waking him up or even calling him in the first place. “Javiiiii,” you giggle leaning against the phone booth, the coolness of the glass feeling good against your warm skin. “I can’t believe you’re awake.”

“It’s two in the morning I wasn-Y/N?! Are you drunk?” Javier asked and you can hear the frown in his tone. He sits up in his bed the moment he recognizes your voice, of all the calls he expected tonight, he wasn’t expecting one from you. Not after what he did.

You shrug as if he could see you, playing with the cord, “I’m not drunkk, I’m just tipsy and it’s your fault. I had 5 shots because I couldn’t get your stupid big head out of mind.” You pout, your emotions starting to shift, the hurt mixing into your tone. You didn’t drink often for this reason, you always felt so cheery and happy at first but then sadness seemed to always creep up once the drinks started to fade out of your system.

Javier gulps at your answer, he runs a hands over his eyes, wiping away any exhaustion he was feeling. He had been known you long enough to know that tipsy meant you were drunk and you being drunk meant you would definitely need someone soon. “Where are you? Are you at home?” he asks as he gets up, holding the handset between his cheek and shoulder as he grabs his pants off the floor pulling them over his naked form.

“Umm…” you purse your lips looking around, trying to remember which bar your friends had dragged you to for the night. They had forced a girls night on you to keep you from doing exactly what you were doing now, looking for Javier Peña. What had started as just a margaritas at your favorite Tex-Mex restaurant had turned into bar hopping over Laredo.

You mumble a fuck as you turn to face the bar and almost run into the glass of the booth. Javi silently curses whoever had decided to let you drink as much as you had without keeping an eye on you. “Lonestar Bruisers,” you mumble out as you look at the flashing bar sign, watching as the words shift. “What a weird name...I got a bruise though, I hit my knee on the dummy bar stool.” You then gasp the touch of sadness you had been feeling slipping into the emotion of shock, clutching the receiver closer as if you had just discovered some secret and didn’t want anyone to hear, “Javiii! That’s why they call it Lonestar Bruisers, because I got a bruise!”

Javier tries not to smile, you were definitely always something when you were drunk. So giggly and smiley, you always lit up the room even more when you had a little bit of alcohol in you. But he also knew the edge he had heard to your tone earlier, the one that he had learned signaled the courage of the alcohol starting to slip and soon you’d be feeling something worse if someone didn’t get you home and in bed. He always hated to see the way your mind would get the best of you. “Mariposa, it’s Lonestar Brewers. I’m right down the road, are you alone? Tell me you’re not alone,” he asks, pulling a shirt over his head, hoping the image of you standing in a phone booth alone in the middle of the night was wrong.

You almost drop the phone out of your hand when you hear him use his old nickname for you. You feel the tears well in your eyes, the memory of years of friendship and love running through your head, the reason you had even called Javier in the first place, “Y-You can’t call me that. I don’t need you to come, you didn’t even tell me you were back.” Your voice cracks at the last sentence, the old wounds from years passed, open up, the night that caused this all. “And I’m not alone, Kelli and Rebecca and…I think her name is Cassie...I don’t know but I’m not alone… Well I’m alone outside cause duh I’m in a phonebooth but they’re inside, I bet they have shots...I need more shots.”

Javier sighs, he knew he had been wrong to not contact you. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to come back quietly, everyone in town knew everything. So of course word would get around to you that he was back, he had just hoped he had prepared enough to be the one to go see you. He had planned to see you, to discuss the night he threw everything to shit, he just hadn’t found the courage, or the will, not after he was still processing the reason he had even been sent back to Laredo. “Marip-Y/N, I need you to go inside. You shouldn’t be out there alone, someone could hurt you,” Javi says gently, trying to mask his worry, he had seen too many women hurt over the past few years.

He might not have been in Colombia but that didn’t mean that there weren't bastards around waiting for a chance to take advantage of an innocent woman. “No more shots, ask for water, I’m on my way. If you all have been drinking, you’re not getting in the car with any of those girls,” he grits out, just as he knew you, he knew your friend group and Kelli hadn’t always been the best influence on you. He could feel the old irritation towards your oldest friend already flaring knowing she wasn’t watching over you.

“You can’t tell me what to do Javier,” you snap at him as you look out the booth wiping your eyes. It was a dark night, the only glow of light came from the bar’s sign and the street lamps across the street of North Central Park, fog filled the outside air, almost as thick as the Texas humidity. You frowned, hating the shiver that ran up your spine, maybe he was right to go inside, “I’m going to hang up now, I shouldn’t have called you. It’s almost out of time, I’m out of coins, and I just don’t want to talk to you meanie pants.”

“Y/N just sit st-” Javi starts before the line cuts off. He groans running his hands over his face before grabbing his keys and knowing you were definitely going to be a joy when he picked you up.

******

He expected more of a scene from you when he had walked into the bar. You were indeed nursing another glass of alcohol and you had told the bartender how he was the meanie head that you had been complaining about. Javier had rolled his eyes and told you it was time to go home. You had glared at him and made sure to down the rest of your drink out of spite before telling him you wouldn’t leave without your friends.

He dealt with the glares that each one gave him, raising his hand to stop Kelli from chewing him out and refrained from telling her off himself too. You were his sole focus and he wasn’t going to waste any time arguing with someone he never saw eye to eye with in the first place.

You definitely had way too many drinks and she should have known better than to let you get this far gone. For your sake, he would take care of both you and them. He knew that would be the only way you’d let him drag you off anyways, if you knew your friends would be okay. He had called a cab and gave them money to pay for it, before throwing your arm over his shoulder and helping you out as you tried and failed to keep the world from wobbling underneath you.

You argued with him that you could go home with your friends the whole way out of the bar. He silenced you with his narrowed eyes. There was no way he wouldn’t make sure you got straight to bed and not to another place where they might hand you more drinks or be too inebriated to make sure you didn’t get sick or help you if your anxiety starts to hit. He wouldn’t fail you, not in this at least. He always took care of you then and nothing could stop him from doing it now. It didn’t make up for what he did, but it was the least he could do for you after years of leaving you alone, hurt.

“I don’t want to go home yettt! I’m having fun,” you whine as Javi tries to help you into his truck, catching you as you stumble. You’re glaring at him and pouting, arms crossed over your chest as he gets you settled into the seat and buckling you in, “I’m not a child Javier.”

Javier can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips at your words, especially with just how much of a child you looked like in that moment. He knew if you had been standing outside of the truck still, you’d stomp your foot. “Could have fooled me, mariposa,” he gestures to your crossed arms and you stick the tongue out at him as he closes the door.

He decides he’ll just let you crash in his bed, the ranch was closer than your home and he could still feel how exhausted he was. He hadn’t exactly been sleeping well since he had arrived back in Laredo.

He practically jumps out of his skin when he feels your hand on his arm. He hadn’t expected your touch, at least not out of your own free will. “Javi, you’re not holding my hand, you always held my hand,” you pout out, as you take his hand in yours.

Javi hates it, almost finds it cruel actually,how much your hand still fits perfectly in his hand. How soft and small it was under his calloused and larger one. He hates how much he has missed it, how much he enjoys it. He had always been a man that depended on touch, you had always told him just a single touch from him could tell you how he felt. You had always been good at reading him, knowing that sometimes the simplest touch was just what he needed to keep him grounded to what was in front of him and not spiraling into whatever chaos was going through his head.

He felt the ache in his heart as he remembered the way you would smile at him and call out each touch. “That’s your ‘I love you’ touch.” “That’s your ‘it’s been a bad day’ touch’” “That’s your ‘I just felt like grabbing you ass because I can’ touch” You were silent next to him and he wondered if maybe you were dozing off already, smiling a bit to himself at the old memories. He could only hope that maybe this would be a time you could avoid your sad side effects of drinking.

He gave your hand a squeeze as he pulled into the ranch. “That’s your ‘I’ve needed this, I missed you’ touch” you breathed out and Javier froze, he glanced over at you. You weren’t wrong, as always. You were staring at him intently, gazing at him in the dark, trying to read him. You gave him a small smile and he felt his heart drop at how broken it looked, lacking the complete joy it used to.

He parks in front of the guest house where he stayed, glad that he wouldn’t have to worry about waking Chucho. “Why did you bring me here?” you ask, frowning and pulling your hand from his. Javier misses it the moment you do, hating how he could feel the hurt resonating off of you now. He had caused this.

“We were closer to the ranch. I don’t think you’d make it up the stairs to your apartment either,” he say softly and watches as you just nod before he gets out of the truck to help you out. He opens your door and takes your hand, putting the other on your hip to keep you steady as he helps you down.

The world still feels like it’s spinning and you grab Javi’s shoulders as you lay your head on his chest. He still smells the same as he had years before, woodsy, musk, minty, and something else that was just pure Javier that you could never put your finger on. You can’t help but laugh in his chest as another realization hits you, “You don’t smell like cigarettes.”

“I’m trying the nicotine gum to stop” Javier answers, wrapping his arms around you, he knew at any moment you could push him away again, so he wanted to enjoy the feeling of you holding him close. He couldn’t deny the need he had to be held after everything that had gone on, to just feel the comfort of someone’s arms around him and to be lucky enough to be having you doing the honors? It took everything in him to break the dam of emotions he had going on. The emotions of everything in Colombia with losing Carrillo, chasing after Escobar, working with Los Pepes to still holding onto everything that had happened the night he left and hurt you came to head and it was overwhelming how much he had been choking down.

He holds you tighter, clinging onto you, to keep centered. He focuses on the sense of you pressed against him, the sweet scent of you mixed with alcohol, the way you were holding him just as tight. Then he notices the now wetness against his stomach and his heart clenches realizing you were now softly crying against him, “Mariposa, what’s wrong?”

You hated it, hated that you were now crying against him. How could he still cause you such an easy comfort for you even after he had left you behind with no explanation? It wasn’t fair that after all these years, just his scent and being in his arms still made you feel the safest and at home. You look up at him, tears flowing, moving your hands to grasp his shirt, “Why did you leave Javi? H-how could you just leave me like that?”

Javier gulped,a hand coming back to rub the back of his neck. He wanted to feel like he had been prepared for this conversation but he wasn’t. He breathes out a sigh, wiping your tears off gently with his thumbs, he presses a kiss to your forehead, “Let’s not talk about that right now, let’s get you to bed, we’ll talk tomorrow when you’re not drunk.”

You shake your head, frowning at him. You tug on his shirt to let him know you weren’t going anywhere. You needed the answers, you had spent too long needing them. “No, I want to know now Javi. I deserve to know...I woke up and you were gone...then I have to have Chucho tell me that you had left? That my boyfriend had joined the DEA and left me a note, a-a fucking note Javi! You literally broke up with me through a note!”

Javi’s teeth clench, he always hated seeing you cry, he always tried to do everything to make sure he was never the cause of your tears. Yet he knew it, knew the pain he caused you when he left, the tears you had shed, and seeing it now hurt him, hurt him more than leaving you did. He holds you close to him, rubbing you back as you sob, “I...Let’s get you inside and I’ll answer you.”

You look at him through blurred vision, gently releasing the hold you had on his shirt, leaving it wrinkled from your touch. “You promise?” you ask weakly and Javier feels the pull in his heart, a line formed between his brows and he nodded at you before taking your hand in his and helping you inside.

He sat you down on his couch, helping you out of your shoes, before leaving you to grab you a glass of water. When he returned to your hand on your head, eyes closed. “Drink some water, we need to get you hydrated,” he tells you softly. You open your eyes and look at him, he could tell the sobering up was starting to happen and he hated that he was going to have to have this conversation with you like this. He sits down next to you and hands you the glass of water.

You mumble a thank you to him as you drink before laying your head on his shoulder, shifting closer to him. Javier sighs as he wraps an arm around you, rubbing circles on you shoulder, hoping you’ll doze off. Luck, however, was no on his side, “Javi...why did you leave..”

He sucks in a breath, you were looking up at him expectantly, eyes puffy and red from your tears. “You deserved better than me…” he answers out, admitting what had gone through his head the moment he had signed up to join the DEA.

“Bullshit Javi, I loved you, we were happy...at least I thought… I thought we were,” you trail off in the last part, you had spent years wondering if you had made everything up in you head.

Javier tilted your head up to look at him, he could sense it, you starting to get in your head. “I was happy with you baby, so fucking happy. But I was holding you back, do you think you would have finished your pharmacy degree if I had stayed? You were always so worried about me on the job, I felt like I wasn’t getting anything done here, I wasn’t helping enough people. You remember me complaining about how routine the job felt. I was making you worry and I just...I felt like if I left, then you would be better off. No worrying something would happen to me, you could focus on school, on bettering yourself. I also had found the letter, you got into the best pharmacy school in Texas, and your sister told me you were waiting to see if you got something closer to here because you didn’t want to leave me...One of the guys mentioned the DEA hiring in Austin and I honestly didn’t think they’d accept me but they did.”

You can feel the tears streaming down your face again as you listen to his words. Javi fights back his own, as he remembers how much he beat himself for making decisions without you. “I tried to figure out how to tell you. I just didn’t know how. I was a coward Y/N, here I was trying to go out and do something bigger, yet I couldn’t tell my girl how I was feeling like I was holding her back. I knew there was more danger in joining, how could I worry you more? If I left then I figured you’d leave, go to Houston, become the best pharmacist this damn state has ever seen,” his mouth quirks at the last part and you can’t help the chuckle that comes out. Javier had always been your number one fan in everything you did, as you had always been his.

His face becomes serious again, “I tried to figure out how to tell you...but I knew you’d either try to go with me. I couldn’t let you hold yourself back for me, to change your plans for me. I couldn’t keep you from reaching your dreams… that night...it was different… holding you the last time, I barely slept. I wanted to wake you and tell you everything but I couldn’t find the words. Pops, lectured me, I’m surprised he even gave you the note, he was so angry with me. He thought I had told you, then for me to just leave you that note. I think he was ready to beat my ass. He was disappointed in me for the longest time, could barely forgive me for doing that to you…”

You reach out to touch Javi’s cheek, he closes his eyes leaning into your touch. Every word he said was sobering you up more and more. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m really fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that. I should have been more honest, I was an idiot. I just selfishly decided for myself and left, I shouldn’t have left you like that, you always treated me right, you always watched out for me, you always took care of me. We grew up together and you never got tired of my shit….I just…I thought it was the right thing to do.” He chuckles humorlessly, “You did become the best pharmacist though. Pops made sure to brag about how great you were doing in pharmacy school. He made sure to tell me about you, to keep me updated and to make me feel bad that I wasn’t here to see you doing as good as I knew you’d do. He called me a dumbass for not being here to see you graduate or to watch you open your own pharmacy. I’m proud of you, I was so proud of you, just know even away I was so proud of you every step of the way even though I know I shattered you first.”

You roll your eyes at Javier, you wanted to punch him in his pretty face if you were being honest with yourself. “You’re such a big dummy,” you scoff out rolling your eyes. Your head was starting to pound but you were thankful that your mind felt numbed still, so you could give him a piece of your mind. “You’re lucky I’ve had all these years to accept you leaving. It hasn’t stopped the ache or pain, obviously.” You bitterly think about the amount of drinks you had just tonight. “Because I would punch you right now but of course, you just left because Javier decided to be selfishly unselfish. You should have talked to me Javier, I never felt like you were holding me back. Yes, I worried about you, but so did all the other sheriff wives and girlfriends. I didn’t tell you about Houston, not just because I didn’t want to leave you, but because I was feeling unsure of myself and being a pharmacist too. I didn’t want to disappoint you if I decided to change careers! I would have been so proud of you being accepted, would I have gone with you? Probably. But it would have been MY choice Javier. I would have never tried to stop you from going and even if I didn’t go with you, we could have made it work. I loved you, I loved you so much and you just left me a note saying you were sorry and it was for the best that you left. It felt anything but the best!”

Javier flinches at your words and you sigh before placing both hands on his cheeks making him look at you, “How could someone as intelligent as you be such an idiot?”

You watch as his mouth twitches under your gaze, “Hell if I know, I seem to get in my head too much, don’t I?”

You give him a look letting him know that you can’t argue with him on that and he reaches out to caress your cheek. “I lost myself then, just like I lost myself now,” he mumbles out bitterly and you press your forehead against his, taking him in as you close your eyes.

“Sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves again,” you whisper out as you meet his eyes.

Javier takes you in, your gentle gaze, the soft touch of your hand going through his hair. It’s the first time since he had touched down in Laredo that he felt at home. “I still love you,” he says before he can stop himself. He had never stopped thinking about you and now with you in front of him, making him feel the calmest he has in years, he knows it’s true.

You freeze and he wants to apologize, tell you that you don’t have to say anything. But you smile at him as a tear falls from your right eye, “I still love you too, big meanie head.”

Javier smiles and it feels the most real it has in days, the first time he feels like he’s not forcing one out. It makes your heart soar seeing it, how you had missed seeing his bright smile.

You don’t know what the future holds, knowing the whispers around town that he would be leaving again soon. But in that moment, wrapped in his arms, his lips softly pressing against yours for the first time in years, it was just you and him and nothing else mattered.

permanent tags: @sleepylunarwolf @greeneyedblondie44

Those who may be interested: @mothandpidgeon @metalarmsandmanbuns @221bshrlocked @wyn-dixie @starlightmornings @waywardimpalawriter @mouthymandalorian @danniburgh @purplepascal042

[thatsthepan]

First Dates

Summary: The thought of the lads and their friends playing this game is too funny not to write about it.

Word Count: 2001

Warnings: Alcohol consumption (plz drink responsibly kids)

Read it on Ao3

Notes: This one won first place in the poll by a large margin, so here it is! It will also be my first fic since February, so I hope y’all like it. Asks and comments are always appreciated, and I have three more fics in progress if you’d like to request something to be in those as well:) Enjoy!

“A coming home party? You realize we’ve only been gone for less than a week, right?”

Phil shrugged, not seeming to see the significance. He kept tapping at his phone, the clicks of his keyboard nearly audible from the speed, but he was trying to hide a smile. “Oh well, explain that to everyone who’s throwing us a surprise party.”

“It’s not a surprise if-”

“Shhhh!”

So here I was, fancied up for a dinner party that I “had no idea about”. That was being thrown at our flat, Phil informed me on the lift ride back from our “date”. We’d gone window shopping.

“This is ridiculous.”

“You’ll love it.”

“It’s still ridiculous.”

We were still bickering when Phil unlocked the door, the lights turned off and everyone as silent as they could be. I imagined that Bryony had already started the rounds of shots, as she yelled “SURPRISE!” a beat before the rest. The best part was that they all somehow bought my shocked expression. Maybe I could make it as an actor.

The shots were good, I gave them--mostly PJ and Bryony, the self-proclaimed bartenders of the night--that much. We were all well and tipsy when Phil headed for the game shelf, which was for the best. We needed the nice, comforting weight of intoxication in order to play any of those games.

“Nooooo,” Bryony whined, leaning heavily on Wirrow’s shoulder. “Not the games! Not the games!”

“Yes the games!” Phil called back, scanning the shelf for the perfect torture device. “Anyone ever played First Dates?”

Only Phil and I had, so it was a must for the night. PJ declared the winners got to down the rest of the vodka and the losers got to clean up in the morning. We decided that was fair.

The rest was a blur.

Round 1

“Team namesss,” Bryony whispered loudly, barely letting Phil set the game up first.

“Ooooh, yes!” Sophie agreed, and thus commenced five straight minutes of three couples deciding on the perfect team names for a board game. Yes, we were all adults. Phil had created a monster.

“Best name starts out three points ahead.” I raised an eyebrow; PJ rolled his eyes.

“Sweet.” Bryony nodded in approval, twirling a piece of her hair smugly. “We’re Team Wirrony, obvs.”

We boo-ed them for unoriginality, but of course all eyes turned to Phil and I next.

“Phan?” Wirrow snickered, and I threw a crisp at him.

“Lesterine. Like the mouthwash.”

We earned that round of applause-Phil had wanted Dil Pickles, for Christ’s sake.

“And Pofie for us,” PJ took a shot, and the game commenced.

Bryony cleared her throat. “Right, so let’s start with the unassuming hosts of the evening-’who would taste better’?”

Some snickers, a few moments of contemplation, and we had our answers. It was 2-1 disagree, and…

“Ha! Agree on Dan, Wirrony gets the points.” Phil was smirking a little too flirtatiously, so I chimed in with, “It’s only because he’s a secret cannibal.”

“Kinky.” Wirrow nodded appreciatively. “So our turn next?”

We played a few rounds of “starter”, one of our questions being ‘who can down a pint the fastest’.

“Please,” Bryony rolled her eyes, writing her answer down already. “You’re all amateurs.”

“Put your money where your mouth is,” Phil snickered, writing his answer down as well. “Ever seen Dan drink when he’s sad?”

Everyone laughed at my expense, but no one believed him. We had all disagreed anyway, so the only obvious thing to do now was to crown a true winner.

Bryony poured us each a pint, starting a countdown. “Five, four, three, two, DRINK!”

I slammed my glass on the table in six seconds flat, making PJ nearly choke from laughter on his beer. Everyone else stared at me in awe, Phil, Sophie, and PJ not even finishing their drinks.

“What made you think-” I hiccupped. “-that you could ever swallow something faster than me?”

The room was in an uproar, and it was only just round two.

Round Two

“Champagne for midnight and the main course?” Bryony became more extravagant as she drank, and somehow made some very good, very bubbly pink champagne.

“Lesterine, you’re up!” PJ simply got more giggly as the night went on, which had an effect on Phil in that he kept trying to subtly tickle me.

“Who is more likely to be sporting a vajazzle or a pejazzle?”

We all snickered in thought, but eventually Phil whispered, “a what?”, except the whole table heard, and everyone was very colorful in their explanations. At least he got an answer, I supposed.

“So it’s all for agree?” I smirked. “On who?”

“You, duh, ya freak.” Wirrow rolled his eyes, but Phil and I shrugged, flipped our cards, and the table was outraged.

“Why Phil! He didn’t even know what it was!” Bryony actually sounded angry, but I knew she was just competitive. And just a tad bit drunk.

“Because he had that back jewelry thing. And I would never.” I pretended to be offended, but honestly it was more fun just getting them riled up. After all, I was a chaotic neutral.

We went through a few more--Phil and I racking up points and sexual tension alike--but Bryony and Wirrow were in close second. Out of the six of us, Bryony and I were the most competitive, and someone started up a bet on who would win. Sophie and Wirrow had their money on us, while Bryony and PJ decided on Bryony, with the assistance of Wirrow.

“Bitches,” Phil murmured, or tried to murmur. He didn’t seem to realize he was speaking in a completely normal tone. I made a mental note of it being kind of cute.

“Okay!” I announced, rubbing the card between my hands. “Second to last for the main course-who already has, or is more likely to get a terrible tattoo?”

Unbelievably, none of the couples agreed on an answer. We decided to split the points between everyone who had the most common answer, which was PJ.

“Where’s that logic!” PJ pretended to pout, but three out of six of us has chosen him for a reason.

“You’re very random and it just makes sense,” Wirrow rolled his eyes, gesturing at PJ’s everything. “It would be like an alien or something equally lame though.”

The final question was ‘who would win in a fight’. Every team but Pofie agreed on Bryony.

“Thank you!” she giggled, sticking her tongue out at PJ. “I may be tiny but I’ll kick your ass.”

“Who else would win?” I asked Sophie, who now seemed embarrassed to say. “We said Phil,” she rolled her eyes. “But to our defense, he is scrappy.”

“Scrappy?!”

Round Three

“Ladies and gents,” Bryony was swaying gently as she stood, having a lot of fun for someone who hadn’t wanted to play this game at all. “Team Us is beating the mouthwash lads, so place your final bets now.”

I threw ten pounds in for the hell of it, obviously on me and Phil. “We're soulmates, remember?” I winked, throwing an arm over Phil's shoulder. None of our friends had called us that in a good while, and everyone seemed a tad bit surprised at my declaration. I'd been poking fun at Bryony all night for being wasted, but I didn't handle alcohol well myself.

“Alrighty y'all,” PJ did a bad accent of sorts, pulling a card out of the deck with a flourish. “Who is more likely to be slightly aroused right now?”

I think we'd all sort of forgotten how to play the game, as by now we were just answering for all three teams. The odds of any of us agreeing were slim, however everyone somehow agreed on this one.

“Did everyone say me?!”

I received a round of hoots and laughs as a response, and Phil was doing his best not to laugh at my astonishment.

“Dan, hun,” Sophie tried to soften the blow, but couldn't hide the gleam of amusement in her eyes. “You're an open book when you're drunk.”

I stuck my tongue out, drawing the next card. “Whatever, y'all are cheating. Next questizzle-who would punch their mum in the head for 10,000 pounds?”

“What the fuck,” PJ snickered, writing quickly nonetheless. “That's sadistic.”

“Mm, but that's a lot of coint.”

The vote was almost unanimously Phil, the only answer differing was Phil's own. “I love my mum!” he protested, defeated.

“Maybe so,” Bryony sipped her drink, raising the glass to Phil. “But you are the legendary Captia£ester.”

We played a few more rounds, Sophie and PJ wracking up some points, but we were in the lead at the final question.

“All or nothing!”

“PHIL!”

Our cries of protest were in unison, but Phil was grinning broadly and informed us that it was not only tradition in this household, but it was his game and his rules.

“Bitch,” I whispered, pinching his leg.

“You love me,” he retorted, drawing the last card.

“Who's better at faking an orgasm?”

“Who's better at an orgasm? What?” PJ was thoroughly confused, and no one wanted to tell him the real question. It was all or nothing, after all.

“Snakes, all of you,” he shook his head as he wrote, throwing his pen at Phil when he was done.

“So the question was who's better at faking one-” PJ sloppily hurled a pillow at Phil, who dodged it. “-reveal your answers!”

It took us all a second to read the responses, and I knew our neighbors were going to file a noise complaint for all the yelling that was ensuing. Bryony threw the remaining cards in our direction, almost actually pissed. “How did y'all agree on ME?!”

I answered, “You get bored of everything!” right as Phil giggled, “The rest of us are too easy.”

We totalled the points, or, PJ did. I slowly started sliding the remaining vodka toward me, receiving a stink eye from Bryony.

“Yeah they won,” PJ shook his head, pushing the bottle toward me with his foot. I caught it as it started tipping over, raising it in a toast.

“I’d like to say thank you to PJ for suggesting these stakes, and Bryony for losing like a champ.” I deserved the facefull of cards I got for that one.

“You gonna share?” Phil had taken far fewer shots than I had, so I shrugged, handing him the bottle. “I’m tired, let’s go to bed. We can go get hangover breakfast in the morning.”

Everyone agreed. I downed the remaining inch in the bottle, pulling Phil by his tshirt into our back bedroom. I had been telling the truth about being tired, but also I’d been hearing Phil’s deep intoxicated voice all night and hadn’t kissed him since this morning. So, I had valid reasons.

We’d barely shut the door behind us before I started kissing him, and I guessed he’d been waiting too, as he turned us around and pushed me up against the wall next to my dresser. He knew I liked when he did that, and I tugged at his hair, because I knew he liked when I did that.

“Our friends think we’re gross,” Phil giggled breathlessly, hardly getting a word out between my mouth being on his. I didn’t answer, shushing him. “Don’t care”, I mumbled, and I didn’t.

Somewhere in that indeterminable amount of time, we ended up on the bed, our kisses slowing as we became sleepier. I had my head on Phil’s chest, slowly slipping into unconsciousness, when the thought crossed my mind that we were done. Done with the tour, done with traveling, done with expectations. We could play games and make videos as we wished, make our schedules whenever we wanted, go wherever we wanted. We were free.

But that was the most coherent thought I had before I fell asleep, thinking about what a mess we made and how loud we’d been and how warm Phil was. Drunken thoughts were sometimes true after all.

[artificialqueens]

Supersonic; Valentine Special - Shadyqueenie

A/N: Valentine’s special for you, honeys! This was supposed to be posted on the 13th but at the beginning of the month I got ill, and then exams came up and I ended up being late [also, thank you G for being so supportive!] Hope you’ll still like it! Kisses! Your Duh, Shady ✨ ☆*ヾ(-∀・*)*+☆

What were the Supersonic Universe’s couples doing on Valentine’s day? Supersonic – Valentine Special is a collection of four drabbles featuring the couples that appeared in the previous chapters. It’s a sort of recap while I’m looking for new inspirations (: [I had to change some FW’s dates because I had some ideas and I needed some characters to be as far away from the City as possible… Hope you won’t mind ;)]

▶ Pearlet – Stars Are Falling and So Are You ( read the story here )

Milan, 6.47p.m. Bar Luce was the place Violet enjoyed the most while she was in Milan. Maybe it was the atmosphere, the colors – or anything in between… All that Wes Anderson allure that made her believe she was the main character in his next movie. It let her mind wander as she watched people in old fashioned clothes chatting, enjoying their drinks or simply writing their thoughts in black Moleskines. She was sat properly and played with the straw in her drink with annoyance when someone recalled her attention. “Sorry, I’m late” Matt started, sitting right in front of her “Did I make you wait for long?” he must have been running, since he was slightly painting. Violet shrugged and raised a hand to call a waiter “Almost no one makes me wait, it was awkward” Matt smirked as he was looking for a proper answer, but he was stopped by the waiter that asked with a very strong Italian accent “What can I get you?” The man didn’t even had time to think about it “Whatever she has” he replied shortly. He didn’t want to waste a single moment of that date by choosing a drink he would barely remember in the future. As the waiter went back to the bar, they both started “So…” and the next few moments where filled with side smiles and embarrassment. “You first” offered Matt. “So…” Violet repeated, her gaze was fixed on her drink while she spoke “Long time no see, mh?”

Matt remembered well the last time the saw each other. It was during New York Fashion Week in September, when Violet fall during Michelle Visage’s runway show. Since that day something clicked on Violet’s mind. It was like she realized how bitchy she must have sounded, how bad she behaved towards Matt. She thought that her fall was a sort of a karma’s payback. Violet knew she had to make up with him and it started with her writing a long message to Matt the next day, thanking him for being by her side the when she needed the most. Matt’s reply came sooner than expected and without any trace of resentments – which made Violet more willing to write him again. That day the conversation was everything they both needed, and it ended at late in the night with a “I really enjoyed talking to you. Let’s do it again, ok?” from Matt. Violet sucked her breath and threw her phone away from her – what the fucking was that feeling?!

Then it was a message every three or four day – “how are you?”, “how’s your day?” –, just low profile messages to keep in touch. Being friend with Violet wasn’t easy for Matt, it involved a series of hiding feelings and thoughts he didn’t think he could handle. They avoided on purpose some topics – like Violet’s work and, of course, Miss Fame. Violet never mentioned her and Matt wasn’t really dying for knowing what she was doing. It was a strange situation. The previous months, Matt was sure that he had to stay away from Violet as possible – but after the first message he had to rethought about it. But it was like he needed those messages. He needed to keep in touch with her and being her friend was better than nothing.

They kept on texting each other until not so long ago, when Matt mentioned the fact that he was going to Milan with Michelle for the Fashion Week, and Violet happened to be there too. “We can go out and have a drink together” wrote Violet out of the blue “Please, Matt. I’m in Milan all alone and none of the other models want to be befriend me” In all honestly, Matt couldn’t blame the other models – Violet’s attitude was well known among their world – but she proved him she was trying to change. He had to give her a shot. He didn’t hear anything else from her for days. Until their second week in Milan, when she proposed the following Tuesday and he realized it was the 14th. Panic caught him. Was it a date?

“Long time no see” agreed Matt trying to follow the conversation. It was a bad habit of him, recalculating each other moves and he knew he had to stop – Violet was far more plotter than him. The waiter came back with the same cocktail Violet was drinking and then placed the bill in a silver plate next to Violet’s one. He noticed that Violet hadn’t paid hers – and since his mother raised him as a gentleman – he took a banknote out of his wallet and said “I’m paying for both, keep the charge”. The waiter left with a small bow that made Violet smirk. “Thank you” she whispered against the straw. Matt chuckled. Violet knew he would have paid for her too, and he didn’t like the play of the innocent girl at her first date. So, he gave voice to his thoughts “Violet. Why did you wanted to see me on Valentine’s night? And don’t tell me ‘it’s a night just any others’ – because we’re both here since January and you didn’t even try to see me once”. He must have sounded harsh, but Violet had to show her hand. Violet played for a few seconds with the napkin under her cocktail before looking at him and Matt could almost hear her thoughts “Did you remember when you told me ‘Stars are falling and so are you’? In that moment, I realized you were right. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m happy Matt, I really am. But Fame is in Paris since New Year’s Eve and I started thinking that, yes, I am happy – but not as I used to. It shouldn’t be like that” Matt nodded as if he understood everything “Am I… a sort of replacement for Fame?” “Oh God, Matt. No, no, no” Violet rushed “I just wanted to see you and tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I saw you in September and I could barely recognize you. You were sad – well, we kinda both were. And I know that part of that sadness was because of me. I didn’t want to end up alone this evening… And you are the only person who understands me” Matt rested his elbows on the chair back as he listened to Violet. Never in his life he thought he had the chance of hearing those words spilled from Violet’s mouth. In her unique way, she was trying to apologize. Their relationship, the break-up and his anger… They seemed so distant now “Don’t worry about it, Violet. It’s over. I’ve already forgave you” Violet let out a deep breath and for the first time since Matt arrived there a sincere smile was painted on her face. They stayed silent until Violet spoke again as she finished her drink “I think I still need you in my life, in a way or another” she whispered, trying not to sound so pathetic. “And you will” Matt replied shortly. He rested his hand on hers and they were cold because of the glass she was holding. He squeezed them in sympathy “How about another of those sugary drinks?” he proposed. “You’re paying?” she asked with her usual, coquettish tone giving him a menu. “I’m paying”

Three hours and five cocktails later, Violet was walking wobbly towards the taxi. “Are you sure you don’t want to split the taxi?” she asked once she entered “Where are you staying?” “Not away from there. No worries, I’ll walk” “Are you sure?” she asked again. “I am sure” he repeated firmly. He wasn’t used to Violet being so caring, but he liked it – he missed that lively sparkle in her eyes. “Ok, so… See you soon?” tipsy Violet was far more insecure than sober Violet. It was almost comical. He kept note he had to remember it to her – maybe the next time he’ll write her. Matt smiled in agreement and closed the taxi door for her. The night in Milan wasn’t as freezing as it was in New York. Maybe it was the alcohol. Violet’s taxi was a blurred point in the distance. Maybe it was because of her.

▶Biadore – Everyone But You ( read chapter I, II & III )

New York, 1p.m. and Milan, 7 p.m. Adore said multiple times she really (really, really) loved Valentine’s day, and during the entire month of January she gave Bianca tons of hints about it. So, when Bianca told her that she was going to spend that day (and the entire month of February) between Paris and Milan with Trinity for the Fashion Week she whined and complained like a baby girl. And, of course, tweeted about it for days. Eventually, she gave up because no one can stop Bianca from putting her work first (and Bianca couldn’t care about Twitter less). She gets it, and she couldn’t even stay mad at her for long because Bianca proposed something so cute Adore couldn’t believe it was really coming out from her mouth. A Skype date on Valentine’s day. Lunch for Adore at 1p.m. and dinner for Bianca at 7p.m. Adore almost spent the first week of February just thinking of what she should have being wearing. She wanted to make it memorable, like a real date. She didn’t expect to be so nervous when 1p.m. of February the 14th came “Adore, make her regret going at the other side of the world, or the ocean – or whatever” she repeated as she adjusted her red curls and pressed the incoming call button, the pizza box next to her was still hot and emitted smokes “You can do it”. But in the end, Adore was as nervous as their first date, and for the first time she sat properly on the chair.

“What the fuck are you wearing” stated Bianca as Adore’s webcam started working. Well, that wasn’t the reaction she was expecting from her girlfriend. On the other hand, you couldn’t have blame Bianca – Adore showed up wearing nothing but an ivory lace lingerie ensemble and her usual red lipstick. It wasn’t like Bianca wasn’t delighted by that vision, but a flute of champagne instead of a cheap beer in Adore’s hands would have had another effect. “Duh, your Valentine’s presents! Which is me, if you didn’t get it” she moved closely to the screen and inspected Bianca “What the fuck are you wearing?!” Adore pointed out as Bianca seemed to wear a black jacket with nothing underneath it “Bitch, are you even wearing a bra?!” “It’s from Moschino’s new collection, I have a party to attend later” “This is not an answer” “The answer is no. But “Bianca added and raised a finger to shush her girlfriend as she saw Adore’s mouth opening read to speak “I didn’t choose it. Trinity made me wear it” Adore jumped on her seat annoyed by the fact that Bianca has never looked so sexy and there was an ocean (literally) between them “Why do you have to look so sexy when I can’t even touch you?! Can you wear it again when you’ll be back?” Bianca’s checks slightly turned red at the request “I’ll try my best” she said after an embarrassed cough.

“So, what did you order?” Adore tried to change the subject of their conversation – she needed something to distract her from keep on staring at Bianca’s neckline. “Salmon. I’m not even going to ask you since I can see the pizza box” Adore stuck her tongue out playfully and raised her beer towards the camera in a sort of toast “I think that’s one of the best date we’ve ever had. Like, we don’t have to argue where going to eat and you can have your super pretentious white wine while…” “Well, if you call pizza and beer a date…” Bianca whispered loud enough for Adore to hear her and then raised her glass too. “But in underwear! Expensive underwear!” Bianca’s snort set Adore’s mood off “You never like my presents” Adore whined and crossed her arms. “The last time you bought me something was a bonsai because – and I quote textually – ‘it’s tiny as you!’” Bianca’s voice cracked as it reached the highest tone she could, parroting the words that Adore told her when she bought that fucking bonsai. “First – that was true. Secondly, I thought it was cute! You laughed at it too!” Adore has never been the kind of person who can guess the perfect gift. But once she saw that little tree on a window shopping, she quickly made a connection with Bianca being shorter than her and her love for plants. It didn’t sound like a bad idea, and Bianca’s face when Adore gave her the bonsai was speechless. “Yeah, you’re right” “I’m goddammit right” and by saying that Adore bite a slice of her pizza. Unfortunately, a (very large) drop of tomato sauce felt right on her bra. It was like one of those slow-motion scenes, and Adore’s face lowered to see the damage she has done. Fuck, her 200 dollars’ bra was already ruined “Bea. You don’t mind, do you?” Bianca dropped her fork and laughed “Did you just spoiled my present?!” “Well, at least I bought you something! Where is my present?!” Bianca raised an eyebrow and directed her laptop behind her “Right there, asshole” replied, showing a black bag with a pink ribbon. “Wait. You actually bought me a present? What is it?” Adore’s frame stuck out towards the screen as if that was giving her a better view. “No way. You’re seeing it when I’ll be back” “Then tell me again when you’re coming back” the red haired asked opening the second can of beer. She felt a cold drop of beer crashing against her chest but – whatever – her bra was already ruined. She knew she sounded bothered and she couldn’t help it. She missed Bianca so much it was almost surreal. Adore has never really been in a monogamous relationship before Bianca. To be precise, she has never been in a relationship before Bianca. That means that whenever she needed (or wanted, or both) she has always slept with someone. She blamed it on being young and carefree, and she enjoyed those time as much as being with Bianca in a commitment relationship. So, Bianca being away for that long – let’s face it – sucked. “March the 3rd” “You can’t be real!” Adore said out loud. “I’ve already told you like ten times” Bianca shook her head at her girlfriend’s exaggerated reactions. She loved them (most of the time) – they made Adore look like a needy girl and Bianca loved taking care of her. But in that moment, they weren’t together and a hint of vexation appeared on Bianca’s face – she has never wanted to come back home so badly before. “I always hope you’ve changed your mind. You know, seeing me like this” Adore let her hands wandering along her chest but Bianca didn’t change her expressions “You better spend the 4th with me alone. In bed, hopefully” she added bitterly. “Sleeping because of the jet lag? Probably” Bianca snapped back and left Adore dumbfounded. She enjoyed way too much making fun of Adore. Her girlfriend may hadn’t realized it yet, but she always ended up having her way with Bianca. “Don’t joke with me!” Bianca’s sarcastic laugh echoed through the laptop’s speakers until the sound of an incoming message came. Suddenly her face became serious as she looked Adore “I have to go” she emptied the glass in one swallow and stood up. “But you just touch your food” Adore mused. “Yeah but Trinity just texted me that our car has arrived. Didn’t expect it so sooner” Bianca stopped herself and moved her gaze towards Adore. It didn’t go as they planned – not at all. “That woman need to be fucked by someone. She’s stressful. When I’m going to see you again?” Adore didn’t really want to sound like a brat, but her lunch date didn’t come out as she expected and she couldn’t hide it from Bianca. She wondered for how long they’d managed to see each other for a short period before giving up. “I don’t know. But text me, ok? I’ll reply as soon as I can” Bianca softened her voice “It’s not like going to a Moschino party with Trinity is my dream date for Valentine’s day. Well, going to a Moschino party is, not the company though” she knew that Adore loved hearing those kinds of sappy and stupid things and after all that was the truth. Her smile proved Bianca she was right. “Bea?” “Yes?” Adore hold her breath as she wanted to tell her a lot of things – most of all something that usually are said on Valentine’s day like “I love you”. But even though she was sure about her feelings, she didn’t know if Bianca was feeling the same. That situation didn’t help and she didn’t want to scare the hell out of Bianca “You’ve been staying at the other side of the ocean for a month. Don’t you dare coming back with just the Valentine present ok?” Bianca chuckled “What do you want? A pair of shoes, a new clean bra…?” “A real Italian pizza!” Adore laughed seeing Bianca rolling her eyes. “Ok, let’s say I’ll try to surprise you. I really have to go now” Adore pouted her lips “Happy Valentine’s day” “Happy Valentine’s day to you too, baby girl”

▶ Shalaska – Work of Art ( read the story here )

New York, 3.15p.m. “You are so beautiful and sweet” said Sharon in a very sweet and caring tone as Alaska entered in the room. “Ooow, thank you!” she replied, feeling her cheeks getting redder at the unexpected compliment. Sharon turned towards Alaska with eyes wide open “I wasn’t talking to you” and in that moment Alaska saw her girlfriend holding Hairspray. “Do I have to be jealous of my cat too now?” she asked playing with the kimono tie that wrapped her figure. “You should. Because you’re a pretty pretty kitten, aren’t you?” Sharon raised the cat up so she could face him. On the other hand, Hairspray started feeling restless and tried to scratch the woman “Oh, ok lion, calm down” Sharon put the cat down and asked Alaska “Are you ready?” Alaska nodded and walked towards her “Tell me again why have I proposed this” “Because you love my works and you’re the supportive-girlfriend kind” Sharon replied with a grin on her face, before peaking Alaska’s lips and uniting the bow of her vest. “This is such a Titanic scene” she whispered against her lips before laying on her couch naked. “We can fuck in the car later, if you want” “Shut up and start, please”

Few days before, back in the same living room, Sharon mentioned the fact that she missed painting – with the vernissage, the art gallery and the time she spent at Alaska’s she hadn’t had a single moment for working on something new “Maybe I should just… I don’t know, hire some models and give my clients new contents. I feel like I have so much else to express” Alaska stopped working on the computer as she heard the word ‘models’ and removed her glasses in a very dramatically way “You mean… naked models?” she already knew the answer, having seen all Sharon’s works, but it was worth a shot. Sharon stayed silent and lit a cigarette instead, blowing a puff of smoke in her direction. “How many times do I have to ask not to smoke inside my house?!” Alaska sighed. “Of course I’ll be using naked models, honey… There is another way to paint people?” Sharon threw the cigarette in the can of beer she was holding as sat next to her girlfriend “They’re just bodies” she whispered in her ear “You know that I have eyes only for you” “Then use me as your model” Alaska didn’t let herself thinking properly that her mouth had already said those words. Maybe it was Sharon’s tight grip on her thigh’s fault. “I’ll think about it” Sharon replied before placing kisses in Alaska’s neck “But now, I have a better idea on how I could ‘use’ your body”

Sharon smirked at the thought as she watered the brush she was holding “Chin up, kitten” She stopped herself from preparing her tools to stare at Alaska. She thought she was so beautiful, so spontaneous, and it made her always craving from some sort of physical touch from her. Sharon loved Alaska’s body – everything about Alaska, to be honest – so why not let her being her new muse? After all, one of her deepest wish was having a moment like this one – her loved one and a blank canvas ready to capture that moment forever. Actually, Sharon was pretty impressed by her own poetic strain. The artist saw her girlfriend pushing her blonde platinum locks behind her shoulders with trembling hands – was she nervous? “Are you nervous?” Sharon asked speaking her mind. “It’s kind of I’ve just realized that I’m naked and someone else is going to see the painting. Someone who’s not you” Alaska murmured. Sometimes Sharon didn’t remember that Alaska wasn’t really into her world – one in which a naked body is just a form of art, not something that needs to be sexualized. She lifted from her position and walked towards the couch. Once she reached it, she bent over and stroke the locks that Alaska had just moved “Well, I’m the luckiest woman alive” she whispered against her ear “because I’m the only one in the world that can see you like this. At least give everyone else the chance to see a portrait of all this beauty” Over the past months Sharon learned Alaska how to loosen up a bit, and that moment wasn’t different – she suddenly saw Alaska’s shoulders relaxing and a small smile appeared in her face.

Alaska couldn’t stare at Sharon because the latter was hidden behind the large canvas. She actually couldn’t believe that such a huge object could fit in her small living room, but has always Sharon turned out to shake her little personal world and she really didn’t mind, except for one little thing “How long will it took?” “Well, it depends” replied Sharon, brushing the tool gently against the canvas “sometimes few hours, sometimes days” she smirked as she reappeared from behind her work station. “What the fuck?! My arms already hurt!” Alaska whined having her arms pins and needles. When she proposed as Sharon’s new model she didn’t know that little (yet important) detail. Like, in Titanic that scene lasted no more than five minutes – she should have done some research beforehand, not just re-watching one of her favorite movies and fantasize about it for days. “Then, next time let me use a real model. You know, one who doesn’t move every two minutes. Stay. Fucking. Still.” Sharon ordered more amused than irritated. “No way you’re gonna see another woman naked besides me” Alaska readjusted herself on her elbows. She meant it. She has found herself really jealous of everyone who was around her girlfriend and she didn’t have the slightest intention of changing it. Besides, Sharon never complained when she acted like an overly attached girlfriend “Ehy,” Alaska called Sharon’s again “can we get Chinese food for dinner?” “And then I’ll have to paint a spring rolls inflated tummy? No thanks” “I thought that after dinner we were supposed to fuck in my car” Sharon lowered the brush she was using and sighed heavily “Why don’t we have a break?”

Alaska’s kitchen was enlightened by small cinnamon scented candles, but their smell couldn’t overcome the Chinese food one’s. “Modeling is harder than I’ve ever imagined” said Alaska with her mouth full of a spring roll. She was starving and she felt tired only because she had to stay still in the same position for hours “I’m reevaluating all the work the bitches at Vanguard do during the photo shootings” “Wow, finally and after only a year you’ve found something positive about your work!” Sharon joked as her hand reached Alaska’s chin and cleaned it from a drop of soy sauce. Alaska smiled softly at Sharon’s gesture. During those past four months Sharon, has been nothing but supportive to Alaska, cheering her up after long days of work and being always ready to listen to her freak-outs. Those last weeks – with Trinity stuck between Italy and France – has been more like a honeymoon. They spent two weeks between their homes and Sharon’s gallery, and Alaska was pretty sure she could get used to it. With Sharon by her side she felt loved, and not only because she stared at her naked body all afternoon with her mouth wide open. And then something clicked on her mind between the fourth and fifth spring roll she was eating – something that was wandering in her head for weeks, and those past days (especially this day) was just the cherry on top “You know what, Sharon? I love you” she said out of the blue. Sharon turned to stone for a few seconds and accidentally let the sticks she was holding drop. She wanted to be the one who said that first. She has always been the one who said it first in the couple. But Alaska was unpredictable – from her double life at Vanguard, to her cat that was eating something that looked like soy noodles leftovers – everything about her completed the picture of a modern hero in a romance novel. And by seeing her with a spring roll half eaten in her hand and the torn mouth she usually did when she was nervous, Sharon knew that was the perfect moment “I love you too, kitten” “Just to be sure, you’re not telling it to Hairspray again, are you?” Sharon laughed and moved her seat next to Alaska’s “No, stupid. I really love you” she said before kissing her.

▶ Rajilia – Kintsugi ( read the story here )

New York, 23.49p.m. Moving back to her old apartment when she was into an almost forced vacation hasn’t been the best option. As if she had the chance to choose. That evening at the end of January she told everything to Raven – from that hideous feeling hidden in her chest to her affair with Manila. Raven was listening to her as she has always done – silent and with a cup of expensive tea in her hands. And when she told Raja that she understood her and she forgave her, that was the moment in which Raja realized she had to come back to her own home – if they kept on doing as if nothing happened (or if Raja kept on flying to another country) they would have never write the final chapter of that story. As Raja stayed silent at Raven’s forgiveness, the latter breathed “It’s over, isn’t it?” Raja lowered her glance as if she were a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar “Yeah, I think that… Yeah” That night she slept in a hotel room (the most expensive suite she could afford). She couldn’t stand the idea of coming back to her own house. The morning after she came back and packed all her stuff. She was sure that Raven was at work that time. She couldn’t face her, not now. In two hours, she packed two years of life and relationship. Two weeks later she still had her belongs in large cartons spread all over her house (that now, after years in Raven’s townhouse, it looked more like a shoe box), and Raja laid haphazardly in her sofa with her legs on her coffee table full of old magazines (mostly Vanguards’) and takeaway boxes – how she missed those comfortable armchairs in Raven’s home –, watching without too much interest a romance movie on TV. “You’ll all going to break-up, a day or another” said Raja to no one in particular as the end credits scrolled down. She placed the bottle of red wine now empty on the coffee table – how did she ever come to that? All alone and half-drank. She would have never guessed. Maybe that break-up hit her more than she wanted to admit. And she also put whatever she had with Manila on hold. Raja just gave up answering her calls and messages. The blogger was insistent at first, but after the first week of hearing nothing about Raja she eventually gave up. She gave up on her – but not on giving Raja cold glances during their working hours.

She heard a knock on her door. Who could be? She didn’t really want answer. It was 10p.m. and maybe it was just that creepy neighbor, Sam, asking the most random things in the most unusual hours of the day. She couldn’t handle him too that night – she would just curl up in her sofa pretending not to be at home. But the knock on her door became persistent and started hurting her tipsy head. “Sam, how can I help you this time…?” But that person wasn’t Sam.

It was a very drunk Manila, she must have been crying really hard since her make-up run all over her cheeks and the smell of cheap alcohol replaced her usual vanilla scent. Raja rested her body against the door frame, dumbfounded. It took her two whole minutes to realize the entire situation and before she could let out a single word Manila spoke first “Look, I know I shouldn’t be there but… Fuck, I still care. I just wanted you to know that I still care. About you – about us. And I know it’s stupid because we’ve been knowing each other for a month but… That’s what I feel” It was late and Manila’s tone of voice wasn’t appropriate for that time, Raja’s thoughts were blurred by the fair amount of wine she has been drinking. As far as she could see, that Manila in front of her could just be a project of her most secret dream. Raja didn’t know what to answer, and for Manila that seemed like a reply “Ok. I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to tell you. Sorry for ruining your night I’ll – I’ll just go” In the exact moment in which Manila turned away, Raja grabbed her wrist tightly “I might be drunk” she admitted in a whisper “I don’t even know if you’re really here or not” “I’m here” Manila reassured her, freeing the grip on her wrist and instead taking her hands and placing them on her face “See? I’m here” “And my home is full of trash and boxes” Raja said as if Manila asked her to enter. “Boxes?” “I’ve never unpacked since… Well” she didn’t want to continue her phrase – seeing where it would have ended. She let the last words unspoken and Manila nodded. “How about that. You let me in, and we’ll start unpacking. And we’ll throw away things you’ve never used in a year” Manila answered back. She had hard time replying since Raja started caressing her face enchanted by the sparkles in the woman’s eyes. “We-we can do that” Raja agreed and moved herself from the door to let Manila enter. Seeing her in her living room and wandering towards all the boxes that where inside made Raja realize that this was the start of a new era – no more denied feelings, secrets or second lives. And, of course, no more damasked armchairs.

“What?” Manila asked as she caught Raja staring at her. She couldn’t stand still and seemed to lose balance every now and then. They stared at each other for a long minute and Raja realized that those sparkles she saw in Manila’s eyes moments before were that gold she was looking back in India – that gold that could fix her. “Nothing” Raja shook her head “I’m just sad it’s after midnight and I can’t welcome you in this pigsty with a sappy ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’” Manila smiled and moved closer to her. Not all the wine in the world could warm Raja enough as that soft smile. Manila lifted her arm and looked at her refined Cartier watch and changed the time “Well” she said showing her the watch “as far as I can see Valentine’s day isn’t over” Raja smiled at the foolishness of the gesture “Just to be sure, how much drunk you are?” Manila crossed her arms around Raja’s neck and laughed loudly “To be honest, I’m more happy than drunk”

[skeletella]

something nobody asked for

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

OMG I justed fucking slept with my social worker ???

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

not much

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I’d take care of them, but I wouldn’t judge them

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nope

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

tipsy

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

every single time

7. What does your last received text say?

Mardi 13h30

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

idk, like 4-5 times

9. Where was your last kiss at?

a community center

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

don’t have one

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water with ice

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed, in my room

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

ummm probably, I’ve never been in one 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

small details

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

They complain a lot, but is hot af

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

ugh, neither

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans!!

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I hope not

20. Does anyone like you?

unfortunately

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

2 ppl

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

bi

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YES, many

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

lots of times

25. In the past week have you cried?

ayyyyy, you know it

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

shit, I don’t remember

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

outside, obvi ?? otherwise the towel might get wet

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

thankfully, no

29. Do you think you’re old?

HA. not a chance

30. Do you like text messaging?

with the right person, I’m waiting till marriage

31. What type of day are you having?

generic, conventional

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yep, don’t have the money :(

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold if I have to choose

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

ya sure

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

A fling that turns into solid friendship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

simple I think ???

37. What song are you listening to?

Gasolina by Daddy Yankee

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

I only say it when I mean it  39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

nope 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

kinda cute, same subculture, around same age 41. When did you last receive a text message?

a few hours ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

literally everything 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

about 10% 44. Does anyone disgust you?

ya, my brother’s father 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

this is a stupid question, I wouldn’t date just anyone 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

never 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my mother 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

black n white 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

not really 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

a few 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

a bit of disdain, sure. hate, no.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yes 53. Do you like rain?

in summer 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

no 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

of course 56. Do you like to cuddle?

very much 57. Are you shy?

sometimes 58. Do you get along with girls?

for sure 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

no, that would be weird 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

a lighter 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

duh 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I could, I don’t know if the other person could 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

no, but there was this guy telling ppl we we’re dating. He’s in prison now (for something else obvi) 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

fuck yeah, just thinking about it makes me get butterflies 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

fuck no, I’m a boring binch

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

ummm varied

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

diy or die     68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

leopard all the way, it’s my fave !! 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 

I would if i had one     70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

I don’t know Luke Bryan.....so Lil Wayne i guess 71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?    

I have an iphone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

don’t think I ever did 73. Do you like diet soda? 

sure    74. What color are the walls in your room?   

white n red  75. Are you 16 or older?

probably     76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?   

no  77. Do you have a job? 

no, but I will in a few weeks      78. What are your initials?    

E.H. 79. Did you ever have braces?   

nope  80. Are you from the south?   

sud-ouest de Montréal

 81. What does your last status on facebook say?   

never wrote one  82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 

no    83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  

dad’s not rlly in the picture, so def mom   84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? 

i did gymnastics when I was like 8 ??    85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

I, Daniel Blake  86. Do you smoke?    

ye 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? 

flippity flops    88. Is your phone touch screen? 

ye    89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   

straight  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

ha, ya 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

lake     92. Have you ever made out in a car?   

no  93. …Had sex in a car? 

also no    94. Are you single or in a relationship? 

single af    95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

sleeping away the suffering of existence     96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

new years     97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

no, n I never have space for photos 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? 

not technically    99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? 

yep    100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

maybe    101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  

not rlly   102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   

chain reaction  103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

no     104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

I have, but never again