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sanversandfriends · 1 year

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One way to spark a writer's enthusiasm about a WIP is the promise of accompanying fan art. Not only is it exciting to see your story brought to life, but to paraphrase @Morganastorm24, even a small shift in perspective can inspire you to take a wildly different approach. Today, she'll share some of her inspirations along with advice on how to get started or unstuck.

Tell us a little about yourself. How long have you been creating fan art? What were some of your first subjects and what ships/characters in the SG universe have you illustrated?

I mentioned in my writing answers that I've been doing it for as long as I can remember, and the same applies with art. I'm generally a very creative person - writing, drawing, crafting - you name it, I'll happily do it.

I inherited my creativity from my grandparents, or so I'm told. My grandfather used to drive buses back in the 50s and 60s and on his breaks he'd park up somewhere and sit and sketch his surroundings. For no reason other than he wanted to and liked doing it. He also enjoyed woodwork and crafting miniature models of things out of wood. He built me my very first dolls house and I helped him to decorate it and furnish it with miniature furniture.

My grandmother was a seamstress for the theatre and made all the costumes for various productions. She'd sketch the designs out first, and then sew all the costumes by hand. She was also a writer, though she kept her stuff very private, because it was a hobby for her but not one that she felt comfortable enough to share. Sometimes, I can understand why, because I feel the same. Growing up, I loved spending time with both of them because they shared their skills with me.

What are your favorite mediums to work with?

Photoshop is a big favourite of mine, because you can do pretty much anything, so long as you can find the right images to merge together. I also love using pro-markers and other comic book markers. What kinds of scenes do you enjoy illustrating? Do you have any favorite tropes or themes? Imagery that you like to work with?

I love to do anything, as long as I have a clear vision of it in my mind (when using photoshop), or I have an image I can use as a reference (when I'm drawing by hand). The only thing I can successfully draw freehand without any reference is a horse (my lifelong love of the animals showing through there). When I worked in a children's nursery, we often drew large images for the kids to decorate which would then be displayed on the walls. I was always the one who ended up drawing said images, and to be honest I loved it. When I left that job to start my current one, I was gifted two of the last things I'd drawn - the rose from Beauty and the Beast, and the Coca Cola Christmas Truck. I've kept them to this day, and they're in a protective folder in storage.

Any advice for aspiring fan artists?

One thing I learned in art lessons when I was at school (and it has stuck with me to this day), is that if you're struggling to draw something, change the perspective. My art teacher told us the following story about a disabled man, and I've tried and tested this method myself. It really does work!

A young man in a wheelchair was asked to draw his wheelchair. He hated the thing, saw it as a hindrance that cut him off from everything that he'd been able to do before he was confined to it. It was a reminder of his past life and everything he had lost, so when he tried to draw it, he was full of anger and resentment, and eventually threw his pencil down in frustration, declaring that he couldn't do it.

Instead of giving up on him, his teacher took the wheelchair, turned it upside down and told him to try again, but don't draw it as a whole. See the individual shapes and draw those. Focus on one shape at a time. So the young man did. He drew what he could see - circles, squares, triangles, rectangles, cylinders - and when the teacher took his piece of paper and turned it round, he had drawn a wheelchair. All because changing the perspective of the subject and breaking it down into basic shapes had made his brain approach the task differently. So if you're ever stuck on something and you don't know how to move forward, or do what needs to be done, try looking at it from a different angle. It could be literal, like turning the chair upside down, or it could be figurative, like seeing a circle instead of a wheel, a tube instead of a handle, that sort of thing. Change the perspective and you might just surprise yourself.

Thanks for sharing with us, Morgana--and for making us continue to swoon over Alex!

And Maggie!

And Lena!

And...

#Supergirl #Fan Art #Finish the Fic #Sanvers #SuperCorp #Creativity #Getting Unstuck

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soundcrusher · 2 years

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When the bird was found

Part 9 of season 2 of my ongoing story set in the sentient SG/LL au from @cuppajj is out, and the stakes rise.

It's a little bit shorter than usually, and I'm sorry for that.

Either way, I hope you'll enjoy this.

Trigger Warning: None --"--.--"--.--"--.--"--.--"--.--"--.--"--.--"--.--

They couldn’t find a trail, no matter how much Tarn and his crew tried. Everytime their lead would end or they couldn’t find any new ones. The only thing that seemed to stay the same were those rumors of a prime’s ghost hunting down Autobots and saving Decepticons, or of a youngling followed by a turbofox walking alongside the ghost.

The rumors were also the reason why they were on this planet now. After they got a new hint from Fulcrum, one of the few Decepticons saved by this ‘ghost’, the whole crew of the Peaceful Truth kept their optics open. And they always seemed to find something. Be it new rumors or the sighting of a strangely calm turbofox.

The latter was the reason for why they were looking for clues in this specific city.

“What if we don’t find him anymore? What if the ghost of the prime got Dominus!?” Asked Helex for the third time this day. “I mean. If it really is the ghost of Rodimus Prime, he wouldn’t stop from killing him, right? Oh Primus, we shouldn’t have disturbed his resting place. We shouldn’t have!”

“Helex, buddy, you should stop talking like that. You spewing out those ghost stories is upsetting Kaon.” Said Tesarus, as he tried his best to calm the shaking mech down. Ever since Dominus disappeared, Kaon has been worrying non-stop, which only grew worse after the rumors of Rodimus Prime’s ghost appearing on various planets started to reach them.

“Ah… I’m… I’m sorry Kaon. I didn’t mean to make you worry more… I mean… I guess I’m just worried that something bad happened. Even if it isn’t Rodimus’ ghost, it still could be an Autobot who might know who he is…”

Yes, but you’re forgetting something.” Replied Tesarus. “There’s also a rumor about a kid running around with that ghost. And the kid is followed by a turbofox who’s description fits Dominus. So, we could say that Dominus is, at least, fine. Maybe the Autobot won’t even do something to Dominus, because the kid is there.” Said the big mech in an attempt to take at least some worries off of Kaon’s shoulders. And it seemed to work. The smaller mech looked a little less worried than when Helex started to talk about the rumors they heard. “Although, I’m still wondering why he even disappeared. Dominus isn’t someone who would walk off without letting anyone know.”

“Maybe he saw something that we didn’t…” Muttered Kaon, as he thought back to the day Dominus disappeared, but the only thing odd was the lone youngling walking up to their booth before disappearing again. Strangely enough, the day this youngling showed up was also the same day Dominus disappeared.

While Tesarus, Helex and Kaon were walking along one part of the city, Tarn and Vos were taking another street. They had already met one kind femme who owned a small shop around the corner and who had seen the ‘ghost’ and ‘youngling with the turbofox’. Although, the femme laughed at them for even implying that the older brother was a ghost. “He surely was real when he helped me carry my wares into the shop.” Was what the femme sad, before she mentioned how the younger brother seemed too shy to even leave the side of his turbofox. “The poor thing started shaking as soon as I smiled at him. Maybe it’s my pointy teeth?” Said the femme, before Tarn showed her a picture of Phoenix, asking if that might have been he youngling, too which she only nodded, before pointing down the street. Saying that the two brothers mentioned a park, or something like that.

And that’s where Tarn and Vos were heading now. With the leader thinking about the facts they learned and coming to the conclusion that the ‘ghost’ probably was probably an Ex-Autobot who just looked similar to Rodimus Prime. They saw the corpse of the prime after all. And if a youngling can look like Rodimus Prime, then there surely can be another one who shares similarities.

He just hoped that they would find the Ex-Autobot and Phoenix at the park.

While the DJD was still doing their search in the city, Rodimus was sitting on a bark bench. Watching Phoenix run around and play with the turbofox, while lamenting how the Autobots ruined this planet. Sometimes, when he was faced with the things his faction had done, Rodimus found himself questioning if he had made the right decisions. Sometimes, he would even start fantasizing about a universe where the roles were switched and he was the good guy. But then he would start laughing, because there could never be anything like that.

Him? Being the good guy? How laughable.

“Roddy?” Asked Phoenix,as he ran towards him. Followed by the damned turbofox Rodimus still was suspecting of being Dominus Ambus. “Can I go to the sales stand to buy something to drink?”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Asked Rodimus in return, to which Phoenix only shook his head. “No, I think I can go by myself. And if something happens, I can still call for you, right? The stand isn’t that far away from here after all.” Rodimus would have loved to say no and go with Phoenix to make sure nothing would happen, but this was the first time his brother asked to go somewhere alone. Also, the prime knew that the damned turbofox would follow Phoenix either way, which meant he wasn’t all that unprotected.

“Okay,” said the prime, before adding, “but only to the stand. You come back afterwards.” After hearing that, Phoenix quickly nodded before running off towards the stand selling all kinds of drinks, followed by Dominus. Not noticing that he forgot his hat with Rodimus.

And that’s where Tarn and Vos spotted the youngspark together with Dominus. The leader of the DJD was quick to take out the picture of Phoenix they had, confirming that they indeed found the missing youngling, before telling Vos to take a look around. “See if you can find this ‘ghost’, but don’t engage with him.” Was all he said, before making his way over to the stand. Comming Helex, Tesarus and Kaon to let them know that they had found the missing youngling, while taking his place next to Phoenix, while pretending to take a look at the different drinks.

“It’s hard to choose, isn’t it?” Asked Tarn softly, as to not scare off Phoenix. Which didn’t seem to help either way, because the youngling still jumped slightly, while letting out a small, fearful, squeak. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me, you just… surprised me. That’s all…” Muttered Phoenix, as one of his servos reached down to pat Dominus on the head, while his wings twitched uncomfortable. Even if this tall and strange looking mech seemed to be nice, Phoenix was still intimidated. Especially because Rodimus wasn’t here with him. Maybe he should have asked his brother to come with him. He would have felt safer with him here. Having his turbofox friend near was helping Phoenix to stay a little bit calm, but he could still feel himself starting to panic.

Also, was this tall mech always standing this close to him? Phoenix didn’t know, but it wasn’t helping. No, not at all. So, the youngling turned around and started running back to Rodimus. Ignoring the tall mech’s calls asking him to stop, because why should he? He didn’t know that mech, and mechs you don’t know, you can’t trust.

But just before Phoenix could reach Rodimus, two strong servos grabbed the youngspark and hoisted him up. Keeping him at arm's length, because Phoenix was kicking and screeching at the mech, while trying to twist out of his grip.

“E-ehm… Tarn? What am I supposed to do now? My grip is slipping.” Asked Helex, as he looked over at their nearing leader.

“You better let him go, before I melt your friend’s head.” Said Rodimus calmly, as he walked over to where Helex and the others were. One servo firmly gripped Vos’ arm, while the other was tightly pressed against the side of his head.

“Because I will do it, if I don’t get my brother back.”

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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I skipped a few steps, so guess it's just waiting for death for me soon akdhsjshanshhs. Stop because some people get married and have kids in their early 20s and that's so wild to me

Oh so you're a furry now? Into 🦊?

I will never stop being shocked at fansites regularly travelling to another continents for concerts. Seriously how rich and bored are you?!?!? I saw at least 3 Hwa fansites doing it and it's just... how, why

Not saying Korean fans are perfect cause they have their insane moments, but international fans are so messy and ridiculous too. The stalkers need to be locked away for real

I have a feeling it won't be as easy now with music shows, not only because COVID had changed a few things, but also the popularity growth Atz and especially Skz have experienced 😭 so I'm glad I did it back then

Hope your friend's throat gets better, but I'm glad she had fun! I saw enough photos of Park Seonghwa it's fine if you can't share maybe it's for the best 🤚🏻

SM Town Euro please juseyo 🤲🏻 I hope things are starting to pick up again post-covid, SEA is getting more tours too, so is LATAM and the girlies are visiting Europe so there's hope. However, JYPE I'm going to 🔫 make your artists come to Europe!!!

$100 per book?!?! Are they made of gold or what

Yes, I understand releasing the drama so soon wouldn't be the best, but surely they can't avoid the word Halloween forever. I wonder if the Halloween kpop content will be released or not? I can live without it, but it would be a shame. And Yes 2 FUCKING YEARS since NGDA2 😭😭😭

Baek I like the way your brain works however you're gonna drive me into insanity. I love this uni AU we've created 🤧

Right, there are some Canadian idols, it's like with Australia, a few Aussies in the game and yet little to no gigs?

ME AT THE FALLEN ANGEL MOODBOARD: 👁👁

I hope there'll be some more PSH x SW interaction and they send him something 💖

I felt the spirit of many Shinestars because lots of us share the same sentiment, but unfortunately a lot of people take him for granted or overlook him for some reason. However, look at this OP is so real. Seonghwa always HAD IT, the Treasure fan cam, the Hala Hala demonic shenanigans?! But he got more theatrical and creative, I appreciate how much thought he puts into each stage and cares about other things like clothes, hairstyles, make up. Also remember this... Seonghwa one of the best 4th gen performers, I said what I said!

My friend almost got a ticket to Phoenix, but her finances stopped her, and earlier she sent one video of Hwa with the caption "I'm glad I didn't go, I wouldn't have survived this". And I sent her the "single/taken/thinking of Seonghwa" tweet and she was like "That's definitely you, and maybe me a little bit now. Help" 😊 and I smile!

Not the blanket, but the photocards are a must. Why are they doing this to me, I'm worried about SG now 💔 I saw that Hwa and Yunho standees are already sold out, but my friend got us some stuff <3

I need to stop being subjected to the Park Seonghwa (I say whilst scrolling through hashtag Seonghwa on the blue bird app...) I miss this

An actual comedian

That's not my guy that's my driver, don't get it twisted! - DV 💖

hello!!!

I skipped a few steps, so guess it's just waiting for death for me soon akdhsjshanshhs. Stop because some people get married and have kids in their early 20s and that's so wild to me

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 stop someone from my school got engaged @ 18 bRO UR JUST LEGAL 😭😭🤚🏼 i also agree bc that’d be mad difficult to raise a kid,,, and in this ecONOMY??? not saying ppl shouldn’t but ur not exactly financially independent to raise a kid😭😭 id personally start crying

Oh so you're a furry now? Into 🦊?

im just like u

NOOO BC GIMME THAT JOB???? U EARN AND GET TO TRAVEL EVERYWHERE??? HOW DO U GET THAT MUCH MONEY?? SEND ME UR JOB IM APPLYING no but those bar’s??? for example those china bars,,, how mf rich do u have to be gIFT THEM ROLEXES ??? WHAT

mingi’s new fansite 😭😭

Not saying Korean fans are perfect cause they have their insane moments, but international fans are so messy and ridiculous too. The stalkers need to be locked away for real

EXACTLY!!! ifans are “outsiders” bc they rly don’t know what’s going on there 😭😭 and yet they tend to indulge themselves into matters that does not involve them + kfans be living in some delulu phases, saw this article where they were all complaining their “idols go too far to perform” and they get jealous???? and lose interest??? ayo???

omg the amount of ppl that would line up for them would be MASSIVE !!! what an experience u had 😭😭🤚🏼

Hope your friend's throat gets better, but I'm glad she had fun! I saw enough photos of Park Seonghwa it's fine if you can't share maybe it's for the best 🤚🏻

LMFAOOOO IM GONNA SHARE FBWNFHWJ i have not heard from her and im assuming bestie’s in the post concert phase 📈📉📈

saw smtown trending and i was like “e-europe?” SEA FANS ARE FINALLY GETTING SOMETHING BUT ITS ALL BEEN SO MESSY 😭😭 latam, the storm ???

$100 per book?!?! Are they made of gold or what

YEAH 😭😭😭 PHYSICAL IS 100+ AND DIGITALS ARE REACHING 100,,, may b if the recession brings some things down 😭😭😭

yeah! hopefully it doesn’t become like that dear m drama case,, oh man i wonder if it would too, but highly doubt they would esp after how in concerts in jakarta have ppl pushing each other as well like itaewon,,,, NOH BESTIE IM NOT BELIEVING ITS 2 YEARS AINT NO MF WAY ?????? AND NOW UNDER MY SKIN 4 YEARS AGO???? FUCK????

but to celebrate idea 2 years,, this remains the best stage

Baek I like the way your brain works however you're gonna drive me into insanity. I love this uni AU we've created 🤧

the junior who’s good by day and whore by night <3 hwa just panics when he sees his senior there and the next day he chases yn down all while yn’s running away and he’s like “HEAR ME OUT PLEASE”

my mind also recently (2 hours ago) brought back boxer hwa <3

Right, there are some Canadian idols, it's like with Australia, a few Aussies in the game and yet little to no gigs?

YEAAAH AND THE AMERICANS GET FUCKING EVERYTHING 🔫🔫

ME AT THE FALLEN ANGEL MOODBOARD: 👁👁

ME TOO BEST FRIEND BUT U WONT LIKE THE ENDING AT ALL!!!! YOULL YELL AT ME AND I WILL NOT CHANGE IT FHWKHDW

I hope there'll be some more PSH x SW interaction and they send him something 💖

omg we just get a notif of hwa’s youtube live and he’s sitting there with wide eyes holding 14 boxes of star wars lego, u best believe im watching it all

you’re right! especially from pre-debut to like wave era, a lot of ppl did overlook him and other members were mores out there! it’s the way they’re all grew so much professionally with distinct personalities but something about seonghwa ALWAYS SCREAMS MAGNETIC,,, omg the op,,, when seonghwa dances so happily that’s truly what the stage presence is, when the body moves to the music 😭😭 I AM THAT OP THAT IS ME,,, seonghwa has this HUNGER to perform and it shows and it only attracts more ppl,,, what a man truly wow

FBWMDHQKHDKQHDKW BESTIE SHE WOULDVE HAVE BC WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ???? I LOVE THIS PYRAMID SCHEME OF GETTING PPL TO LOVE SEONGHWA SO CRAZILY THEY NEVER LEAVE FBWNHDE

do u think she would’ve survived this mingi

Not the blanket, but the photocards are a must. Why are they doing this to me, I'm worried about SG now 💔 I saw that Hwa and Yunho standees are already sold out, but my friend got us some stuff <3

i thought the sg was this and was like thank hod nothing else but them realized they still have to drop it 😭😭🤚🏼WHAT MF CONCEPT ARE WE GETTING pls i hope they do some pirate concept, like comically dressing up as pirates for their school photo day concept or something 😭😭

I need to stop being subjected to the Park Seonghwa (I say whilst scrolling through hashtag Seonghwa on the blue bird app...) I miss this

An actual comedian

mingi and hwa are such an underrated ship 😭😭🤚🏼

ur right, comedian of the year + new sound drop

…

That's not my guy that's my driver, don't get it twisted! - DV 💖

really??? BECAUSE I REMEMBER HIM AS AN ULTRA ATTRACTIVE MEGATRON 3000 UBER DRIVER U HAVE 🤨

going to eat him

???

HIS CHEEKIES

shinestar’s with seonghwa

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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imaginariaextraordinaire · 3 years

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So much of this episode is about the unacknowledged labour of women, the sexism they face in different areas and the various methods women adopt to negotiate it.

Ji-Woo is such a great character because the show takes the idea of a film star and layers it with angularities and tenderness. She's well aware of what she's sacrificed on the personal front to become the successful professional she is in the present. I love how she's neither ashamed of it nor does she ignore that its a choice that came with lots of unpleasant baggage. We get a sense of this awareness in the conversation she has with Seon-Gyeom in the parking lot (it's also striking me as I rewatch the show that there's a beautiful little arc of Seon-Gyeom and Ji-Woo building a mother-son relationship almost from scratch).

The church scenes are also a great example of show-don't-tell storytelling. While Assemblyman Ki has to bribe and flatter people in order to get their attention, adoring gazes turn to Ji-Woo seemingly automatically. Except of course, it's not automatic, as the conversation with Ms Dong reminds us. Her fame as an actress is the result of hard work and putting everything else aside. I love the easy understanding between Ms Dong and Ji-Woo — both working women, both mothers. There's no shame in Ji-Woo asking Ms Dong to look out for Seon-Gyeom and no recrimination when she says Seon-Gyeom is closer to Ms Dong than he is to his mother. It takes a village, people.

In Ji-Woo and Seon-Gyeom's chance meeting at the parking lot, there's something tentative and formal about them. They're both putting up façades — Seon-Gyeom's polite mask, Ji-Woo's tinkling laughter — although she does allow him to glimpse what lies beneath. Ji-Woo only drops a vague mention of Assemblyman Ki making life miserable for the rest of the family because Seon-Gyeom isn't falling in line. It's obvious from both mother and son's body language that she doesn't need to elaborate. What's lovely though is that there's no complaint in her tone. She isn't telling Seon-Gyeom this detail so that he feels guilty; quite to the contrary. The laughter and ease of her body language is reassuring, as though she's subtly telling him that she can handle this.

While we're on Ji-Woo, how great is her barely-concealed impatience with all the smiling and greeting and praying in church!

I'm not sure what I love more — the shot of a the stained-glass Jesus, looking pained while the minister thunders out a prayer for Assemblyman Ki; or the fact that the very next scene shows a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. It cannot be a coincidence that this is the one time that Seon-Gyeom is filmed from an angle that makes it look like he's descending down upon the kid (whom he bribes with a chocolate bar). Particularly love the longing on the kid's face as she stares at the retreating figure of the divine Seon-Gyeom.

The scene between Mi-Joo and Seon-Gyeom outside his hotel is so heartbreaking to watch and it's the first time we understand just how hard Mi-Joo is on herself. All this began with a drunk professor making offensive, sexist comments that demeaned Mi-Joo, but to explain all that to Seon-Gyeom feels almost indulgent so she takes the blame. She's the disappointment — for being poor, for being seen as someone who can be bribed, for having taken the money. She doesn't hear him when he places the onus of the blame on his father. It's so achingly obvious that all her belligerence is posturing and she's ending the budding relationship between her and Seon-Gyeom because she doesn't think she deserves him.

Thank the gods for May. Even if she and Mi-Joo start off at odds, it takes only seconds for them to be in sync. God bless the womance.

You've got to feel thankful for the family of choice when Dan-Ah bumps into human-trash brother. He's a strong reminder of the everyday sexism in society and how privilege doesn't mean you're protected from this venom.

Over the course of Run On, Dan-Ah figures out how to fight her battles in her own way, rather than by employing toxic methods, like putting her (half-) brothers down because society considers them illegitimate. At this point though, while her brother is disgusting and Dan-Ah is obviously nothing like him as a person, the weapons she uses to fight him — hierarchy, contempt, violence — are the same as those he uses on her.

In the middle of all these tortured, messed-up men, the kids are alright. We know this from not only the way the schoolkids whom Seon-Gyeom coaches react to the bullying scandal — interesting that the children have more perspective than the grown-ups who care about appearances rather than the truth — but also thanks to Yeong-Hwa.

I love Dan-Ah trying to subtle suss out exactly how young Yeong-Hwa is when he and Ye-Joon come to Dan-Ah's office. I also love how not for a second does Yeong-Hwa, for all his puppy-eyes, call her "noona". There's no ambiguity about this relationship. Also, while I still can't find anything remotely good to say about those wretched paintings, the idea that art forges connections irrespective of social convention/ hierarchy is one that has my heart.

If the Gyeommi couple is all about being heard and understood, the Danhwa couple is all about being seen for what you really are.

Speaking of Gyeommi, how cute is it that Woo-Sik is the one playing Cupid! In this episode, Seon-Gyeom is frequently reminded of how alone and solitary he is, but what we also see is that he's building friendships. The relationship with Woo-Sik changes from that of a senior with a junior colleague to something softer, warmer. With Mi-Joo, particularly at the dinner that Woo-Sik organises, you see Seon-Gyeom finding companionship as they attempt to set aside their attraction and actually understand each other. This is a relationship that works because they're so different. The fact that they don't think alike is why she can offer him the piercing insight of, "Why not include your failures as a part of your process?"

Also, what a bombshell to drop on audiences in a country (and continent) known for its fiercely competitive spirit... .

Rewatching this episode, Mi-Joo running back to home to translate the article in which Woo-Sik clears Seon-Gyeom's name reminded me of how different this is from the marathon run. Both times, she's running towards Seon-Gyeom, but this time it's more adrenaline than anything else and it's for him. It's the unthinking running that Seon-Gyeom told her about during their first drinking session — you're just running ahead, without looking back, focused on one external goal. The marathon run is much more internal as it pushes Mi-Joo to make peace with her past before she decides what she wants to run towards.

Also, looping back to that idea of unacknowledged women's labour, Mi-Joo works HARD to make sure the article goes viral and she claims no credit for it. She only tells an online group that she translated it because she knows that they will circulate it with more gusto if they know it's her work. This little snippet is also a good reminder that rarely do things go viral without a whole lotta effort from people in the background.

Finally, this hug in the rain turned me into full mush. By now, we know that Seon-Gyeom has grown up with very little affection. He prefers a hotel room to the family house. The only person he's felt comfortable enough to hug is the housekeeper. As far as he can tell, he has no friends (Woo-Sik and Yeong-Il will eventually set him straight on that account, but for now, he's utterly alone). At this point, the hug from Mi-Joo is something much more tender and basic than romantic love or sexual chemistry.

MJ: Don't tell me you don't know what I'm doing.

SG: I know. You're comforting me.

MJ: Correct.

I can't help but remember the later scene when they'll be on either sides of metal gates, when she won't reach out to him and he'll be upset that she won't trust him. Perhaps that's the difference between finding friendship and falling in love — they both can make you stronger, but the process is very different.

#Run On #Episode 5 #Rewatch #Kdrama #Everyday sexism #Women who work #Womance

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angrypedestrian · 5 years

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THE TIME IDIOTS EPISODE 416 TITLED “Requiem for a Theme Park for An Adult Son” MY THOUGHTS:

i literally cracked my knuckles at 7:59 unconsciously getting ready for this i am a fucking parody of myself

mick made a new friend! what a great day!

gary IS aroused by this mick and ogre scenario

zari knows that 9 year old her was a PEAK 9 year old and that is v self aware of her

fairy godmother you shut the FUCK UP CHARLIE IS PERFECT

jane carr is so good though i love her

also have you SEEN amaya tabitha? HAVE YOU? you’d want to look like her too!

courtney (and also brandon but we’re talking about courtney here) is SO good at physical comedy

it is really unfair to be both that attractive and funny

someone on twitter translated matt’s very bad hebrew tattoo and it is HILARIOUS

it says literally “the tool is empty,” but means absolute nonsense

god bless matt has such bad tattoos

soul TOKEN, oh shut up john no one likes jargon

that’s pretty much the basis for this whole NeRay bit! no one likes a tech bro!

oh my god nate you dork

well no shit you brought him to school he’s a fucking DRAGON

also how is your brain not breaking yet

i know time is pudding or whatever but i feel like zari’s brain should start breaking by now

mitra! that’s such a cute name!!!!!

also uh no one is concerned about the two random adults skulking around an elementary school??

yeah that’s fine

oh no they’ve unleashed the tentacle arms

literally 7000 hentais started this way like seriously guys? we’re just not even pretending anymore

mick barely gets to ever shoot anything this is an outrage!

also side note: charlie’s pants are so good

i just love the names of the clubs in hell. so on the nose

fuck astra’s outfit is also incredible!!

that blazer!!!

listen nora her shoulder pads are great and you know it

i LOVE how astra is an adult and tells john to fuck himself while looking out for herself

it’s what she deserves!!

hey can that red lightning just take us all out here in this horrible wasteland of a city?

i’m ready to fucking go. dc deserves it

can all media properties just stop doing trump bits? like, we get it, he is evil. you doing a thinly veiled version of him on your time travel show does not help and in fact only weakens whatever you are trying to do

i live in dc, i am TIRED

completely unrelated an ad for two and half men reruns just came on and reminded me that jon cryer actually did a really good job on the sg finale last night?

i know i did not expect to type that sentence either

they saved the whole budget to pay every bit actor who showed up as a magical creature this episode and i really appreciate that about this show

they paid for paul reubens again! i doubt he gets paid scale!

gary calling them savages?? HMMMMMM????? is that FORESHAWDOWING???

spoiler: yeah it was

oh god that cgi dragon...does not look great

literally no one on this ship was popular as a child

sara: excuse you i was cool. i rolled kids for their lunch money

okay sara aside

the fucking theme park i swear to fucking god

but mikey t! bring him back!

every time someone says constantine’s name the little harpsicord melody plays and it makes me inexplicably happy

astra is SASSY

i LIKE it

well yeah no shit zari is a genius hasn’t that been the premise of the last two years?

mick: you get the book for NOW i have sexy erotica i need to write

ava: i know this is what i signed up for here, but can’t some things just be inside thoughts that aren’t said aloud?

mick: no

ava:...fair enough

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck tala is so GOOD

she is so much better than this show

but dear god phil you better never let her go

oh no i am getting SAD

cause i mean, she’s not gonna stay on the ship (the promo photos said so)

as long as tala doesn’t leave it’ll be fine!

isn’t this coin the soul???

i am so confused

asdfghjkl;’ vandal FUCKING savage

the NOISE i made

oh i see how it is phil u can get vandal savage to come back WHERE ARE THE HAWKS

don’t open this can of worms PHILLIP i actually remember season 1!!!

fucking MARYLAND

reminder that nora should’ve been working at the maryland ren faire earlier this season!!

wow i’m so excited for crisis!!!!

there is a multiverse somewhere where these three are sg, arrow, and flash

i want that dctv verse

i will literally never be over pee wee herman playing mike the spike

EVER

this ogre is legit

so ready for ogre and minotaur’s indie-folk duo!

married couples don’t always have on screen chemistry but courtney and brandon are just so GOOD

oh my god vandal savage turned into a goofy bit character

not a real fantastic look there phil!!!

he was an actual real bad guy who abused and raped kendra!!

i know no one remembers except for like 3 of us but STILL

YOU CAN’T JUST REFERENCE KENDRA LIKE THAT PHIL

john have you learned nothing this year? how are you surprised by literally any of this?

sara: no one dies on my watch motherfuckers!!!

nate: what about all those...

sara: NO. ONE.

WHERE IS MIKEY T

he at least would have all the permits!

you can’t just jump the build schedule like this?

it would be funny to me and me alone if the only real world rules this show followed was in regards to the construction process

ygrgij;sjbwEVAG;DFBW that fucking hank statue

are you trying to make money on this fucking theme?

this is the only anti-capitalist show on the CW

clickity. clackity. hackity.

nate has a phd.

uh mike the spike is a literal serial killer?

well y’know lets see how it goes

The final Neal McDonough Memorial Can Get It Award of the season: adam in that striped suit

yup i know! this is just who i am!

wardrobe found the white canary suit again after caity threw it back in the dumpster arrow’s wardrobe people found it in! caity you gotta pick a DIFFERENT dumpster next time

luckily they already dug up nate’s get up next episode

but i do love that it was literally just for a terrible theme park show

oh my god get this crossover monitor fucker out of here

i have been told i don’t have to deal with him until december thank you very much!!!!

okay they got him to eat popcorn that helps a bit

HELL YEAH DRAGON TIME

adult dragon wickstable looks better than baby dragon

not, like, a lot better, but better

wow the game of thrones finale doesn’t look as good as i thought it would

god can you imagine legends with a GOT budget?

phil does not deserve that level of power

how are there only 15 minutes left in this episode jesus there is just so much plot

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHO SUPERGIRL IS SHE IS ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT EARTH

whatever nothing means anything anymore ugh

baby zari come tame wicksty!!! i am assuming it is the only way!

yay i’m right!!!

she’s so brave!

also lol tabitha literally was just eaten by a dragon that’s one way to go dang

i mean, it COULD be stopped with a musical number if you TRIED john

it’s like you haven’t been here all year!

DON’T YOU CARE KILL MY BOY DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

(that cgi evil cloud demon thing is still the best looking cgi legends has ever done)

RAY WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT HIS HUSBAND

that is the LOVE of his LIFE

WE DO NOT DESERVE TALA

hey we afforded tom wilson for one more episode!!

hank was still a shitty dad!! but tom wilson is great

the HAPPY PLACE??? you’re threatening a lawsuit from NBC now too??????

you can’t fucking afford it phil!!!

see john!!! MUSICAL NUMBER

this is...literally just your eyes from rent

it is LITERALLY just that

well i guess nick isn’t leaving after all!

hooray!

i can’t tell if i am tearing up from true emotion or from laughing

and that if that isn’t legends in a nutshell i don’t know what is

BEHRAD

but also you can headcanon this as zari as trans for a hot second because they don’t explicitly say his name!

or at least i didn’t hear it so i can live in my bubble of ignorance!

so i WILL thank you very much

Anyways at least now Ray, Nate and Behrad are in a three way dragon bro marriage i don’t make the rules!

but UH y’all better be looking for zari next year! otherwise heads will ROLL

i just saw the tvline interview with phil tala will be back everything is FINE

i am FINE

oh shit i am INTO this set up for s5

especially if we get more horror stuff which they do surprisingly well

which, like, we probably won’t but a boy can dream

i got 8 months to think about it!

NEXT WEEK: we all weep openly and steel ourselves for the long, long 8 month hiatus ahead. but know! that once we make it to the other side, oliver queen’s death awaits us. rejoice, fellow travelers! REJOICE! (anyways, my goal this hiatus is to finally finish my ripsara opus that literally ZERO people have been clamoring for catch y’all on the flipside!!!)

#legends of tomorrow spoilers #legends of tomorrow #dear lord what am i going to do with myself for the next 8 months #this is some bullshit there is NO REASON to push legends to midseason #i stg if they get like a 13 episode order i will be PISSED #this is the only show i watch where i want more episodes a season #ANYWAYS #the time idiots #my thoughts as i have them

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professortennant · 6 years

Note

5 times Jack gave Sam his tags and the 1 time she gave him hers

written in about 2 hours (fuckin yikes it took some time) and clocks in at about 3445 words. rated T.

After Turghan, Jack had promised himself that he’d stick by Carter’s side a little tighter; maybe stand a little closer than protocol strictly dictated to give off some vague impression of possession should the question ever arise.

And arise it had.

The leader of PX5-972′s tribe looked at them with narrowed eyes, gaze darting between Sam and the rest of SG-1. “Who does this woman belong to?”

Jack stepped forward, finger on the trigger of his P90 just in case. He shot a look at Sam and smiled slightly to himself at the sight of her biting down hard on her lip to stop herself from protesting at the disdain with which woman was said and the insinuation that she belonged to anyone.

“She’s with me,” he said, hoping that would settle the matter. For the most part, their matching uniforms and military stances helped sell the ruse they were together.

The man’s eyes traveled over Sam’s form and he watched as she glared back, refusing to drop his gaze, her back straightening and shoulders squaring.

“You don’t claim your woman? No ring? No collar? How do the others of your world know she is taken?”

There was a pause as SG-1 shared a rush of silent communication–raised eyebrows and widened eyes and parted lips. And then Daniel was stepping in, his cultural knowledge scraping for an excuse.

“Our customs dictate a public exchange of, of, necklaces!” Daniel grinned at Jack and Sam, his eyes lingering on the silver chain of their dog tags. “Their names are inscribed on the metal and each morning and evening they exchange them. Uh, Jack, go ahead.”

Jack looked startled for a moment, wondering if this guy was actually buying the crap Daniel was spewing, before sighing and sliding his gun to his side, hands going to his dog tags around his neck and lifting them up over his head.

A few steps later and he was standing before his second in command, grinning at her with bright, warm brown eyes. “Well, Carter, whaddya say? Be my woman?”

She snorted at his irreverence and rolled her eyes. “You romantic, sir,” she deadpanned.

He slipped his dog tags over her head, knuckles brushing over her hair and ears as he settled the metal around her neck. Jack adjusted the tags on the front of her shirt, his name upon the metal facing outwards.

“There,” he said softly. “Claimed.”

A gentle blush spread across Carter’s cheeks and she ducked her head, hands tightening their grip on her P90.

As the tribal leader clapped his hands in delight and waved them on into the village, Jack swallowed hard and tried not to think about how much he really, really liked seeing his name hanging from his second in command’s neck.

II.

Daniel and Teal’c were passed out in the prison corner, catching a few hours of sleep in between watches. Jack grimaced and pressed fingers to his tender ribs, already knowing they were broken and, judging from the new gurgling rasp to his breath, that they had either punctured the lung or were pressing dangerously close against the lining.

They had an escape plan to enact tomorrow: distract the guards, break the control crystals, head for the rings, and then hightail it to the Stargate–all while fighting and dodging a couple battalions of Jaffa. Easy breezy.

But no matter SG-1′s miraculously lucky streak and no mater how Carter spun the odds of survival, he knew his chances of making it to the Stargate were slim. He’d do anything in his power to at least get his team back home safe.

A warm weight settled next to him and he shuddered out a breath.

“Carter,” he acknowledged. “You should be sleeping.”

She shrugged, drawing equations and star charts into the dirt at their feet. “Just going over the plan for tomorrow and couldn’t sleep.”

“You’ll be fine, Carter.”

He felt her gaze drill a hole into the side of his head, her doodles in the dirt stopping abruptly. “We’ll be fine, sir. You, included.”

Jack smiled softly at the fierceness in her voice, her insistence that he would come out of this just as fine, just as alive, as the rest of them. The sharp pain in his chest and the rattling breath he drew reminded him that he may not be seeing the SGC again.

He reached up and tugged his dog tags from his neck and dangled them between their bodies, offering them to her silently. She sucked in a sharp breath of surprise and pushed his hand away, “No, sir. Don’t you–Don’t–”

He pretended to not hear the crack in her voice or see the glint of tears in her eyes. “Sam,” he said softly, pushing the tags back at her. “Please. I want you to take them, just in case. If I–If I don’t come back. Bury them with Charlie. Just take them.”

She let out a strangled half-moan of distress before clenching her jaw and taking the tags from him, looping the metal around her neck, nestled right next to hers.

He sagged in relief, knowing this one thing would at least be taken care of–one less thing to worry about tomorrow in the back of his head. Sam rested her head on his shoulder, the silence descending upon them, easy and familiar. They always worked better, communicated better, in the silence.

“I’m giving these back to you in 9 hours, sir. And then I’m kicking your ass for giving them to me in the first place.”

He rested his head against hers, hiding his grin into her hair and forgetting the pain in his chest for a brief moment.

“Yes, ma’am.”

III.

The alien virus struck the women of the base hard but Carter, as Patient Zero, fell ill first and fell ill hardest. The virus caused confusion and dizziness, memory loss, and fleeting moments of aggression. Few things, in Jack O’Neill’s opinion, were as scary as watching the bright light behind Samantha Carter’s eyes dim in lost confusion, all spark of otherworldly intelligence and awareness disappearing.

The first, wild swing at General Hammond and the primal scream she let out earned her a one way trip to the SGC infirmary. Jack watched from her bedside as she thrashed in her infirmary bed, screaming and crying and begging to be let go. His heart leapt to his throat and he looked at Janet helplessly, “Doc, help her!”

The tiny doctor rushed forward and brushed her hands over Sam’s face, shining a light against her pupils and checking for a reaction. But Sam continued her thrashing, hips lifting off the bed.

Janet cursed and turned to the Colonel. “Help me hold her down.” She turned and ordered the nearest airman to bring her a set of restraints.

Jack hastily obeyed, grabbing Sam’s arms and leaning over her, keeping his voice low. “C’mon, Carter, snap out of it. C’mon, c’mon…”

His dog tags swung out from beneath his black undershirt and the edge of the tag brushed over her nose. She stilled and looked up at him, arm sneaking free of his hold and grasping the chain, holding the metal tag closer to her eyes.

“Jack,” she said slowly, eyes widening. For a moment, Jack saw recognition and awareness peak through her face, eyes brightening and staring at him. Her fingers curled around the metal and tugged and he went down with her, their faces a hair’s breadth apart.

“Jack,” she whispered, imploring and pleading. He just nodded, encouraged, hoping that whatever had struck Carter was over.

“Yeah, Sam,” he said, voice low and soothing. “It’s Jack.”

Beside them, Janet and the airman stood watching the interaction, restraints at the ready.

Carter tugged at his dog tags again and chanted to herself Jack Jack Jack. Whatever it was about his dog tags, it soothed something inside of Sam and he would sit here as long as it took until Doc Fraiser and her merry band of airman could figure out what the hell was going on.

He stayed with her, nose brushing over Carter’s occasionally as she continue her exam of his dog tags, the pads of her fingertips tracing over the engraved name and blood type and date and identification number.

After a while, though, staying hunched over in this position was hell on his back and knees. He couldn’t sit in the chair at her bedside without strangling himself. Jack figured it wasn’t really him that sick Carter was attached to–it was his tags. She was finally dozing softly–partially due to the comfort of his dog tags and partially because of the light sedative Janet had administered.

Licking his lips, Jack wriggled as gently as possible and lifted the chain from his neck. The rest of the metal fell onto her chest, his tags still safely encased in her fist. He let out a little groan of relief when he finally could sit down.

In the bed before him, Sam stirred a little and she let out a breathy, “Jack…”

He tried to not let the sound get to him, tried not to imagine that breathy sound echoing off the walls in his bedroom. Shaking himself from his fantasy detour, he slipped his hand into hers, thumb stroking over the inside of her risk.

She rolled onto her side towards him and drew her clenched fist with his dog tags in it up beneath her chin, sighing softly.

He was more than happy to be her anchor.

IV.

Cassie frowned at him from her position on his lap, fingers tugging at the chain around his neck. “But why do only you and Mom and Sam wear these?” Her eyes lit up. “Can I have some, too?”

He laughed and ruffled her hair, swinging her up and off his lap and taking her smaller hand in his, leading her to the ice cream stand across the way from the park.

“Only military wears ‘em, Cass.”

He ordered them an ice cream each–chocolate cone for him and strawberry for her. They munched and linked happily at the confection and Jack forgot how much fun it was to be around kids like this–eating ice cream on a sunny day and asking questions just because you could.

“But why do you wear them?”

He sighed and took a thoughtful lick of his ice cream. “It’s complicated, sweetheart. Sometimes when we go off-world or to another country and things go wrong and we can’t come back, the military uses our dog tags–that’s what we call ‘em–to identify us.”

He hoped he didn’t need to explain further. Cassie was wise beyond her years and probably understood exactly why they would need to be identified. Cassie bit into her ice cream and hummed.

“And then what?”

He shrugged, pulling the car keys from his pocket as they approached his truck. “And then they give your tags to someone really special to you so they can have closure, a piece of you after you’re gone. It’s–it’s complicated, Cass. The tags mean a lot to military. It’s a piece of who you are, a scrap of yourself when you’re a long way from home.”

They clambered up into the truck and Jack finished off the last bite of ice cream, wincing as Cassie’s melting dessert dripped onto his upholstery.

“I get it,” she said softly. “I’d,” she hesitated before continuing. “I wish my mom had something like that before…”

He heard the sadness tinge her voice and he reached out to cup her shoulder and the back of her head in comfort. “I know, kiddo.”

Shaking off the memories, Cassie turned a mischievious look towards Jack. “So,” she said slowly, dragging out the ‘o’ sound and grinning. “You’re not married.”

He furrowed his brow at her. “No,” he confirmed.

“And you don’t have any siblings?”

“Nope.”

“So, someone else who was special would get your tags, right?”

He turned a sharp eye on her, wondering where she was going with this. “I suppose,” he said, laughter in his voice.

Cassie shrugged and turned to face towards the windshield, sneaking a glance at him from the corner of her eye.

“Sam’s pretty special to you, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Sam’s pretty special.”

“So, if something happened to you….she’d get your tags?”

Jack’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and he imagined a world in which a couple of airmen and General Hammond had to hand Sam his tags along with the letter addressed to her in his desk. He didn’t want to think about Sam sliding his tags alongside her own, the only piece of him–the only memory of him–she had left.

He cleared his throat and shook the image from his mind.

“Yeah, Cass. She’s the special someone who would get my tags.”

Jack inhaled deeply, gathering his nerve and hoping to God that Pete wasn’t with her tonight. He couldn’t do this on base–it was too personal, too much. A few short raps upon her door later, she was standing before him looking soft and tousled, wrapped in a too-large USAF sweatshirt and thin pajama pants.

She looked surprised to see him on her porch and she hugged the door to he hip. “Uh, what are you doing here, sir?”

He dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I needed to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. She opened the door wider and gestured at her entry hall. “Did you want to come in?”

He thought about the temptation of being alone in her house with her, wrapped up in the scent of her, her soft skin and warm body only a few inches from him. It was too much to fight against and he was already feeling weak, already feeling stretched too thin and too tested.

He shook his head and shuffled his feet, “Uh, no, that’s okay. I’ll be quick. It’s just, I just–Ah, hell.” Words were never his strong suit, anyway. He withdrew his hand from his jean pocket and held out the tangled silver chain and dog tags.

She gaped at him, eyes darting from his outstretched hand to his eyes–eyes that were warm and open and pleading, tinged with sadness and a touch of desperation.

“Sir…”

He shook his head against the honorific. “No, not ‘sir.’ Not for this, Sam.”

She stared, her tight grip on the door turning her knuckles white. “And what is ‘this’?”

And wasn’t that the question of the decade.

He drew his shoulders back, hand holding his dog tags still outstretched between them. “I can’t give you a ring, Sam. Not now and I know, I know you got tired of waiting for someday. But I can’t let you go or marry Pete without offering you this.” He pushed the tags towards her again.

He hoped she understood what he was saying; hoped that whatever connection they shared allowed her to see that he was offering everything he had ever held dear to him to her–his life wrapped up and personified by a metal plate with his name and burial preferences stamped into a tag and chain.

Sam stepped out from behind her door onto the porch in front of him, the pair of them illuminated by her porch light. Her fingers reached between them, brushing over the tags and the skin of his palm and wrist and fingers. He watched with rapt attention as she gently took the tags from his hand and pressed her thumb into the engraving of his name.

She looked up at him, eyes shining with tears and her teeth sunken into the flesh of her bottom lip. “Jack,” she said softly, voice breaking.

She pushed the tags back at him.

The air rushed from his lungs and the color drained from his face. She didn’t want him anymore–didn’t want someday. He hoped he wasn’t swaying on the spot, hoped she didn’t see the way his heart shattered in his chest and spread numbing coldness throughout his body and down his fingertips.

He had forgotten what heartbreak truly felt like.

Numbly, he took the tags from her–took his offer of a life, of a love and a future back. He wondered how much Scotch he’d have to drink tonight to forget this feeling.

And then she was there, hands ghosting over his hands and up his arms, brushing his cheek gently. “Jack.” Her voice was low and warm and the crooked finger beneath his chin lifted his gaze to hers and she was smiling–smiling–at him.

“I know it’s not a ring, but you could at least put it on me.”

His broken heart pieced itself back together in the time it took him to see her smile and warmth courtesy of Samantha Carter rushed through his body once more. He grinned at her easy acceptance and lifted the chain around her neck, deliberately trailing the backs of his fingers against her ears and neck, taking careful time to adjust the pair of tags between the valley of her breasts.

The back of his knuckles grazed the swell of her breast and she gasped, swaying forward. He wanted to kiss her, wanted to seal the deal of their facsimile of an engagement, of this promise, in the traditional way–even if nothing about this, about them, was traditional.

He stepped back, hands trailing over her arms, his eyes glued to his name resting over her heart.

“Hold on, Sam,” he said softly. “Someday is coming soon, I promise. Just–just hold on.”She pressed her hand over his heart and nodded. “Holding on, sir.”VI.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Sam rolled her eyes at her husband’s greeting, calling out from the kitchen, “In here.”

He strode in and tossed his cover onto the counter, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her softly, pressing his lips to hers lightly and then more insistently, tongue sweeping over the seam of her lips.

She hummed against him and pulled away, enjoying the way Jack’s eyes remained closed a half-second after their kiss ended, as if he was still savoring her touch.

“I have something for you,” she said, turning towards the kitchen table where a black box sat. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her again, hand palming her breast and his hips pressing into hers from behind.

His lips sucked at her pulse point and he murmured into her skin, “I bet you do.”

She swatted him away and made a grab for the box on the table, turning and pressing it into his chest.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, turning his attention to the box and missing the apprehension and nervousness on his wife’s face. “Why, Carter, it’s not even my birthday.”

He lifted the hinged lid and stared at the contents. Sam held her breath as she watched him pull out the tiny link-metal chain with three dog tags on it.

On one tag, her name was engraved: Samantha Carter-O’Neill. DOB 08/28/65.

On another, his name was engraved: Jack O’Neill. DOB 01/23/50.

And finally, on the middle tag, was engraved: Baby Carter-O’Neill. DOB: TBD.

His large hands held the tiny dog tags in his palm, cradling the cool metal, his lips forming the words silently over and over again: Baby O’Neill.

Sam twisted her hands in front of her anxiously. “Jack? Are you–Do you–”

But her question was cut off as Jack wrapped his arms around her, his face buried into her neck, shoulders shaking with tears and laughter and sobs. “We’re gonna have a baby, Sam. A baby, I–”

She sagged against him in relief and felt his hand palm her belly, searching for signs of life already, searching for changes to her body that he had somehow missed with his lips and tongue and hands last night.

Between them, their hands wrapped around the set of dog tags–the first Carter-O’Neill family portrait of sorts.

About nine months later, that set of tags hung happily above their daughter’s crib.

#mystupidumbflyboy #sam x jack #sg1 fic #stargate sg1 fic #samantha carter #jack o'neill #jack x sam

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soonhoonsol · 6 years

Text

tagged by @my-woozi-happiness (thank youuu <3)

Answer the following questions honestly (skip if you don’t want to answer truthfully) and tag as many people as you want! Enjoy~

Why is your favourite colour your favourite colour? Ooh my favourite colour is black, mainly because it matches with everything :3 I do also like galazy-ish colours; they go together with black really well :3

An anecdote about the first time you did something: Something is a little vague... I don’t think I’ve done anything spectacular O.o

What country or city name do you find funny? Cheyenne. It’s a place in America, I think. I just find it funny that I have the same name as a place HAHA

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to attract your crush’s attention? OH BOY CLICK ON THE KEEP READING THINGY IF YOU WANNA KNOW THIS ONE IT’S SO....EESH

okay so uh not really the craziest thing that I did on purpose, but more of an accident? my friends and I went on an outing to the beach and we were gonna have a BBQ but while I was in the middle of flipping the food on the grill, it downpoured massively. I was holding an umbrella (lol the sun is scorching in SG) and standing by the food so everyone else kinda just grabbed their stuff and ran to shelter but i’m standing there like...do I leave the food or...? Then there was a really strong wind so I ended up getting drenched. My crush kinda like ran in the rain to get me back to the shelter and he was like super doting. Like he gave me his towel and his jacket so I wouldn’t be cold and all that stuff AJKDGJADFASD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH end of story ^^

How many people can someone sleep with before you start judging them? I try not to judge. You do you.

Is there any “childish” habit you still have? Is sleeping with stuffed animals considered “childish”?

At what moment does the sky look the best? That shade of red in the evening. That way you know it’s gonna rain and it’s so beautiful :’)

The most you’ve ever paid for a concert? Was it worth it? $350. It was for DE in SG and I wanted a VIP ticket so I asked someone to help me buy it. Combined cost ended up around $350 but I did get to meet mah bois SVT (IT WAS SURREAL) so heck yeah it was worth it :’)

Would you rather be a superhero or be saved by a superhero? Any hero in mind? I don’t think I could actually be one so....I wanna be saved by Spiderman tyvm

Something you wish you could do/do better: I wish I could love myself and be more positive. Negativity tends to...push people away.

Are your parents in any fandom? How did they get into it? I know my mum likes Bon Jovi and my dad kinda fluctuates between genres but....nah they’re not “fangirl” enough to go to concerts or get albums...that’s why they always yell at me if I ever buy anything fandom-related. I haven’t even mentioned how much punishment I got for buying a Carat Bong ^^’

Do you have any posters hanging around your room? How many? Of who/what? Used to have loads of posters (mainly R5, The Vamps and 5SOS, aka bopful bands hur hur) but now...none :/

Were you a space kid or a dinosaur kid? Oh hands down dinosaur. I had a whole tub of plastic dinosaurs. Idk where they are now but yeah. Still a dinosaur kid HAHHAHA DAMN I LOVE JURASSIC PARK

How many pictures and video’s do you have on your phone? uhhh i’m lazy to check :(

How many songs do you have on your phone? 400+ now? They’re all kpop, with a sprinkle of English ones...but that was because I deleted a lot of English songs. There used to be like 2000+

What was your first fandom? Austin & Ally (bring back the show pls)

Have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? If so, who? Never cosplayed :( Don’t have the money for that lol

A song you’d recommend to someone you love (or a close friend if you’re aro): @ my crush - “Paper Heart” by The Vamps since he likes that band too hur hur

Do you have a bookshelf? How many books are in it? Is there anything else than books? no bookshelf :( wait...yeah I don’t have one in my room....

Do you have scars? How many? Can you tell their story? I got a small scar on my arm from when my brother stabbed me with a mechanical pencil :’) it’s mostly faded now

Would you rather have had a different name? If so, which one? I wanted Jacquelyn, because I love the name Jack and the female version would be Jacque

Do you collect anything? If so, what? If not, would you like to start some collection? I wanna collect kpop stuff...pls...why is everything so expensive

Carte blanche: Tell something you’d like to share, can be anything ^^: I spent a good 20 minutes filling this up hur hur rip my gpa

tagging @seokyomie @sherazzie @liablackpandora (love youuuuuuu) @sleepyljihoon @skyyzi @ana707 @mo0n1e @hearttoshu (hi hi) and anyone else who wants to do~

#ihavetoomanydistractions #this was a mess im so sorry

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supergaymess · 6 years

Text

Supergirl 3x18 Shelter from the Storm Reactions

Lena’s lived in a hotel FOR TWO YEARS???? She’s been afraid the city would reject her for TWO YEARS??

I mean, I guess so did Royal Tenenbaum?

GIVE. LENA.LUTHOR. A. HUG. No, I rephrase. I will give Lena Luthor a hug. C’mere, girl. I got you!

Aw, GuardianCorp is cute y’all. I’m still annoyed how they started out - for writing purposes it was just lazy in that they just didn’t lay the groundwork right for that relationship - BUT I do like Lena and James where they are right now and the last few episodes gave them both more screentime to actually display their relationship dynamic to the viewer outside of them both being territorial at work, not trusting a Luthor blah de blah. And I LIKE James. He’s such a great character, I want to see more of this secure, comfortable, good hearted, talented dude.

James doesn’t have his tie on yet, but he has his Shield on? YEAH OK

OOOOO Kryptonite Spray. Dang. I’d be afraid I’d mix that up with perfume or something. Also, it’s so pretty!

Reign’s up early lol

Space Dad and Space Grand Dad BEAAAANS

Lol Coffee as bean water is just so funny to me. Cuz it’s true

DEO & Legion Crew Where’s my Brainy & Winn BROTP

Cape tricks just sounds dirty to me. Is it just me? Aw THERE’S MY BRAINY & WINN BROTP lolz

“Future dirt” bahahaha I’m dying This reminds me of a time I went to an festival and forgot to get my brother something so I picked up a rock from the parking lot (I was going to steal a sign but I didn’t have the right screw driver) and gave it to him and told him it was from the moon. He believed it for about 5 hours. The look on his face when he realized it definitely was not a legit moon rock though….hahahaha. It’s been over 10 years and it’s still funny.

Brainy hugs like my Toddler and it’s terrifying. Here, let me squish your face. eeeeeeeeee

Alex at Luthor Mansion AN INVISIBLE MANSION??? WHAT THE WHAT And I thought invisible jets were cool

Kara & J’onn checking in on Lena & James Kara asking if Lena’s ok D’awww. MORE TENSION PLEASE Screw you James, no one cares hahaha JK, but really - y’all are friends. Shouldn’t you check in with him, Kara?

I don’t know what Lena’s dress pattern is, but I think it’d be tight as a bow tie.

Kara & J’onn go to see Mama “White Lady” Arias Lmao White Lady with a shotgun? Eeeeee

ARE HER SCRIBBLES KRYPTONIAN OH SHEEEEET

Can we talk about how neatly the Reign World Killer symbol has been penciled onto the wall?

“I’m not gonna turn away from her now” says Mama Arias but you were gonna pull a gun on someone looking for pills?

OKAY

Alex Visits Ruby at Luthor “It’s Invisible” Mansion Aw Ruby loves Alex

I LOVE MOM ALEX OMGGGG

Back to Kara & J’onn at Mama “White Lady” Arias’ house Hahaha Kara and food. I’m with you, lady. Pudding’s pretty great.

Dead flowers CALLED IT. REIGN IS BLIGHT HAHAHAHA SUCKAHS It might just be that I’m super gay, but holy hell Reign’s nails are terrifying.

Ohmygod. This just got TEMPLE OF DOOM level intense.

If Sam was upset about killing people as Reign before. Geeeez

Mon El/Imra and the Necklace at the DEO MONEL. GIVE. THE NECKLACE. BAAAAACK ALKDFSJ;LKDFJS;LDFJKSLDFJKSLDJKS

Brainy bugged the diiiirt?? Awww dude

Are you suuuuure there’s no blight?

Even if Sam comes back at this point, how is she going to live with herself?

Back to Luthor Mansion with Alex and Ruby ALEX LOVES YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN?!?

I didn’t think I could love her more.

Hell yes.

Aw, Rubes knows she’s being lied to. Kids know.

Back to the DEO Party SUPERGIRL, YOUR SECRET WEAPON IS LENA GODDAMMIT

Um, why can’t Imra just stay?

Also, did Chris lose a ton of weight? Are you ok? Is that why we have a beard?

Lena with Kryptonite

Weeeelll this is awkward

Soooo why is Kara ok with low levels of Kryptonite in the training room? Ok ok, I have to go back and rewatch that scene.

Rewatching-

This is OOC Kara, IMO and I like angst.

I dunno, it was just too quick jumping down Lena’s throat. Totes in character for Lena though.

“Even if I did trust you” says SG

That means you don’t. Ouch.

Reign found the invisible mansion without a generator....apparently I know it’s a plot point, but wouldn’t Lex friggin Luthor have a generator to avoid what Reign just did in cutting the power

What cat did they use for Reign’s growl? Damn

Uhhh WHERE’S THE KRYPTONITE SPRAY

Lena save the good stuff for her hotel room? Lmao

I didn’t know bullets could be extra. But that bullet Alex just shot? Super Extra

Reign Unmasked Aw Ruby. Aw honey baby pie. :((((((( I’m sorry, sweetie.

Reign contained in LCorp Oh shit. We back at LCorp

I LOVE LENA SO MUCH. DAMMIT

Aw I was weirdly hoping Lena and Monel would have a conversation. Is that weird? Hmmm

J’onn and his dad’s storyline just breaks my heart.

And Alexa and Ruby breaks my heart.

Lena and Kara breaks my heart.

SUPERGIRL IS BREAKING MY HEART.

I’d be lying though if I said I didn’t love it.

Kara & Lena in Elevator Whoaaaaa “She crossed a line. I can never trust her again”-Lena BREAKIN. MY. HEART.

I know some of y’all think Lena knows due to this scene. But I don't think so. I think that look was her being hurt about her relationship with supergirl and calculating/thinking that Kara is close to SG. If she already knew that Kara was Supergirl, I don’t think we’d get this frankness about what happened and this honesty about how she feels about it. IMO, Lena would shut her out, or wouldn’t give additional/in depth information unless absolutely necessary. This was an “overshare” to a friend.

That hug was so sweet though.

I’m bummed that this angst is occurring because of such out of character behavior from Kara. I guess it was the easiest way to have Kara be upset and set Lena up as following in Luthor footsteps?

I dunno. Maybe I’ve read too many fanfictions, but I think there were other ways for a similar dynamic to have been created without Supergirl acting out. Maybe I just needed more on screen reason for Kara to be so untrusting or SO afraid of her best friend? We’ve spent basically two seasons of Kara defending Lena against the world, literally. This included a video of Lena allegedly stealing kryptonite. Kara’s doubt happened too quickly.

Do I think she should be upset about the kryptonite thing? Absolutely. It adds to being upset about Lena not telling Supergirl about holding Reign in the first place. They could have worked together from the start, or at least, that would be Kara’s view of it and that’s realistic to her character. Having Kara hurt that Lena didn’t trust her? Now that I believe. That’s a more organic wedge to put between them. Kara being trusting and eager to help and having Lena be the one that’s insecure in their relationship with trust issues? I am here for in character angst. Honestly that’s why I love the two of them. Their dynamic is so wonderful with each of their histories. It’s why I keep reading SuperCorp fanfiction. And look - I’m not expecting SuperCorp to be cannon, but the things that make a romantic relationship believable are the same traits that make their platonic cannon relationship so endearing and believable as well. They’re complimentary opposites. Both come from a place of pain and loss, Kara with an almost endless optimism and outward empathy to the world with Lena holding things closer to the chest, a little more pessimistic/realistic but still working for what she thinks is right for the world and those closest to her.

Maybe that coffee was a mistake.

Anyways. I’m still frustrated with the show for writing out of character behaviors in order to move plots along. That said, it’s a campy superhero show and I’ve definitely been entertained by this episode and the last few while still feeling relatively connected to the characters so it’s not all bad.

Definitely looking forward to how they tie this up for the season or leave it hanging for next.

#supergirl #spoilers #supergirl spoilers #supergirl 3x18 #shelter from the storm #supergirl reaction #supergirl reactions #guardiancorp #supercorp #i wanted to add more gifs to this but my internet is too darn slow and im tired #sorry it's text heavy #i really didn't think I could love lena luthor anymore #but I really really do #still a supergaymess over here #woooo

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soundcrusher · 2 years

Text

Making a new friend, maybe even friends?

Part 4 of the Spinoff set in the normal sentient Lost Light au from @cuppajj is out and I gotta say, the crew of the Lost Light better watch out, because reg/Phoenix just found a new friend in sg/Phoenix.

.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.:():.

When Phoenix woke up again, he found himself alone. Well, maybe not completely alone, there was an orange mech with glasses sitting next to the berth he was laying on. But even with the company, the youngling still felt alone. A feeling he started to dislike ever since he was locked into that one empty hab-suit, after angering Lightlost.

“Ah, it seems you’re awake now.” Said the orange mech with a smile, before adjusting his glasses and looking down at the data-pad he was holding. “My name is Rung, and you must be Phoenix, if I am not mistaken?” Phoenix only nodded as an answer, before looking down at his servos.

A long moment of silence passed between them, before Phoenix tried to open his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a choked sob. Prompting the youngling to bury his face in his servos, while Rung let him cry. From what the other Rodimus told them, the psychiatrist could tell that this situation wasn’t ideal for the young spark. So, he let him be. Although seeing Phoenix trying to hold back his tears and swallow his pain wasn’t helping him, Rung thought, it was only adding to the already present stress of being confronted with a place holding both good and traumatic memories.

So, he stood up and placed a servo on Phoenix’s shoulder. Gaining the younglings attention. And as he saw the teary red optics of the youngspark look at him, the orange mech simply smiled. “It’s okay to cry. You don’t have to hold anything back, especially after everything you went through.” Hearing those words only caused Phoenix to let out a small whimper, before his cries turned into loud sobbing. "That's it. Let it all out. You don't have to keep your tears back. You’re such a strong youngling for making it this far Phoenix, you don’t have to be ashamed of your tears.”

Phoenix doesn’t know how long he cried, or when he started hugging Rung, but he didn’t care. It felt freeing, letting everything out, no matter if it came out as tears or an incoherent mumbled mess. He was able to express how he felt, and that was all that mattered. And when he was finished crying, he and Rung had a small conversation. Not about the things he went through, but rather about the things he liked to do.

And Phoenix found himself getting really excited, as he told Rung about the small adventures he and his Rodimus had. Telling the orange mech about the first time they went to an amusement park, to the christmas market they visited before they ended up in this universe, and Rung listened. Asking small questions then and there, or writing things down on his data-pad. Although, after a while, he had to go again. He had patients to attend to, and Phoenix understood. Saying his goodbyes to the psychiatrist and watching him leave.

After Rung was gone, Phoenix swung his legs over the edge of the berth and slowly stood up. Using it to stabilize himself, before taking a look around the hab–suit he was in.

He could already tell that it was different from the ones he was used to. This one was a lot lighter, not as dark as the one he was forced to spend his time in and, for some strange reason, it felt a lot more welcoming. Kind of like his mothers home, whenever he came back from school crying, because the meaner older kids or his classmates decided to hunt him down after their classes were finished only to shove him into a dumpster or kick him. Yea, those kids were true afts…

The hab-suit was also a lot warmer than the ones he’s used to. Maybe that’s why they feel so welcoming? Either way, Phoenix was pretty sure that if he laid back down on the berth and curled up underneath the blanket, maybe even get Mister Sharky out and cuddle with him, he would fall back into recharge right away. Which didn’t sound like a bad plan. Although, before Phoenix could get out his shark plush, a sound from within the ceiling got his attention. Causing him to slowly back away from where the sound was coming from, in fear that either the ceiling started to come down, or that cables would start pulling him into the walls again. But the only thing that popped out was a vent cover and a head.

And Phoenix found himself staring into his own face.

“Are you coming? I bet being locked up in a hab-suit all by yourself isn’t fun.” Said the black and red version of himself as he reached down a servo towards him. And Phoenix reached up. Getting pulled into the vent by his own doppelgänger, before he led him down some twists and turns and together, they emerged somewhere Phoenix wasn’t before. Although, before he could even ask where they were, his doppelgänger grabbed his servo yet again and pulled him down the hall. Striking up a small conversation about some things. Confusing Phoenix a lot.

“Alright, so, I think we already know each other's names. I mean, I’m Phoenix and you’re Phoenix too.” Said the black and red youngling with a slight smirk. “But I kinda want to know if these are the only similarities between us. And we don’t have to count our frames, because they’re obviously the same.”

“I….” Phoenix was at a loss of words. How was someone supposed to answer this, especially when it came from another version of himself? But it seemed like he didn’t, because the other youngling was quick to pick up on the confusion and change his question. “So, Runningway, huh?” Now that was a question Phoenix knew how to answer, and it led to a conversation between the two, that was mostly made up of them telling each other what Runningway, and their past crew, did to them. With both of them coming to the conclusion that both of their crews were messed up for taking their resentment out on younglings that just happened to look like Rodimus Prime.

“Like, how cowardly do you have to be to not hunt down the one mech you hate, but rather beat on your crewmember who simply looks like him? Tch, as if I wanted to be born looking like this…” Muttered the darker youngling, which got a nod from the lighter one. “I know what you mean, but with me, it was even worse. Everyone thought that my Roddy was dead. So, some thought I was just very unlucky for looking like him, while others thought I was him reborn! But I am not. I’m very much my own self, and not like what they thought I was!”

“Tch, our crews were all fragged in the head.”

“I wouldn’t say it like that, because it sounds mean, but… yea…”

They continued talking with each other, even as the darker youngling convinced Phoenix to come with him to Swerve’s, despite him not being sure if he wanted to be somewhere where a lot of the crew was. But his doppelgänger still convinced him. That’s why Phoenix found himself sitting in a booth at Swerve’s with the other youngspark sitting across from him, after he got them their energon, before both of them continued talking. Picking up another conversation topic, because talking about their past crew was slowly hitting too close to their spark.

“Okay, so, we need a different name for you.” Said his doppelgänger, after they just finished a conversation about baking. “I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be confusing if we address you with Phoenix, when I also have that name. Sooo… hmmm…. How about White? Because of the white parts of your armor?”

“Only if I get to call you Red, because of the red parts of yours.” Countered Phoenix, which earned him a small disgruntled look from the other youngling, before he shook his head. “Yea, okay, I get it…” He muttered, before snapping his fingers and grinning, pointing at Phoenix. “Okay, so, I think I got a better idea. You’re from a different universe, right? One that’s like a mirror version of this one, just twisted. Kinda like Shattered Glass, right? So why not call you Shattered Glass Phoenix with sg/Phoenix being the shortened version?”

“But what if your Rodimus doesn’t want all of his crew to know that my brother and I are from a different universe?”Asked Phoenix, which caused his friend to hit himself on he forehead, before muttering something like ‘You’re right’. “Also… I don’t know how things are going to be now… Maybe mister suitcase mech and his friend will get us back home tomorrow, maybe in a week, maybe a year, or maybe even today. Trying to figure out something like an alias for me sounds like too much work…”

“Hmmm… Maybe I should ask Lightlost for help. They usually know what to do in unusual situations…” Muttered the youngling, and as if said mech heard them, Lightlost was walking up to their booth. Greeting both of them, before sitting down next to this universe's Phoenix. With said youngling giving them a happy ‘hello’ in return, while Phoenix only flinched and made himself slightly smaller. His doppelgänger might have reassured him countless times that his Lightlost had a kind spark, but Phoenix still didn’t believe him. So, he opted to make himself as small and as unthreatening as he could, while still looking fairly normal to this universe’s version of himself.

And while the black and red youngling didn’t notice the slight change in his doppelgängers posture, Lightlost did. But they didn’t comment on it. Not when the other youngling at the table looked like the slightest movement of the servo could send him bolting out of the bar.

“Phoenix, I thought Ultra Magnus told you not to seek out our newest guest after what happened yesterday. He needs his rest.” They said, which got them a small scoff from their Phoenix. “Yea, but locking him up in a hab-suit with only Rung visiting him isn’t fair either. I know what it’s like when you’re stuck in one place for way too long. It makes you start scratching your plating in boredom.”

“Or it makes you tear apart the hab-suit, because you feel way too angry… even though you shouldn’t feel angry, and then, when you distract yourself with singing, you can’t talk anymore, because you overused your voice box.” Chimed Phoenix in. “EXACTLY! And then you get told that it’s your own fault, because you could also just have shut your mouth and not sing and scream your spark out.” Continued the other one, which only added to Lightlost’s concern for not only their Phoenix, but also the one brought here by Brainstorm’s newest invention.

But before they could even say anything, the two younglings have already changed the topic back to the issue about their names. Talking a little bit about it in hushed tones, before looking up at the cartographer and explaining their issue. With this universe’s Phoenix doing most of the explaining, while Phoenix would say something then and there. And as they were done, both of them looked again at Lightlost, with the black and red youngling looking for advice, while the blue and white one’s body only seemed to tense even more under their gaze.

“So, yea. That’s our problem. We can’t really call him sg/Phoenix, but we also can’t call him White, because he doesn’t want to be called that.”

“And your Phoenix doesn’t want to be called Red either. Which I can understand.”

“Hmmm… Let me think for a moment, sweetsparks, I think I might come up with an idea.” Said Lightlost, after listening to the two younglings’ dilemma. And while the two captains and their second in command, together with Rung, Brainstorm and Perceptor decided that it would be best not to mention that their two new guests are from a different universe, they could also see the problem both Phoenix’s were trying to solve. Although, considering the fact that sg/Rodimus had already told them what has happened in their universe, Lightlost was quick to find a solution. And with a soft, warm smile, that seemed to somehow help sg/Phoenix relax a little bit, they told the two their answer. “Sweetspark, have you asked our guest if there was another name we could call him? I am sure that, with how his and his brothers' travels went, he surely was given a nickname, or something aching to one.”

And they could see the two younglings’ minds work, before sg/Phoenix let out a small chuckle. “Of course, why didn’t I think of that?” Asked the youngling no-one in particular, before answering. “Snow. You can also call me Snow, it’s the alias my Roddy came up with, when we were traveling on a planet. Granted, it’s not as great of a name, but I think it will work well enough.”

“Snow… huh?” Asked Phoenix as he looked at his doppelgänger, no, wait, as he looked at Snow, before grinning. “Yea. I think that will do. It’s nice to meet you Snow, I’m Phoenix and this is Lightlost. Welcome to the Lost Light!” Said the youngling, as he grabbed Snow’s servos and shook them.

Lightlost waited till Phoenix was done with his small ‘introduction’, before slightly bowing their head and giving their own small welcome. “Yes, welcome to the Lost Light, I hope you’ll like it here.” But differently to their young friend, they refrained from shaking the youngspark’s servos. They didn't want to cause him to be reminded of something their counterpart did to him.

And with the ‘introductions’ out of the way, Phoenix started up a new conversation about how live on the Lost Light was and the pranks he pulled, while Snow listened closely with, from amazement, wide optics. All the while Lightlost kept an optic, or two, on the pair of younglings.

#sentient lost light au #sentient sg/lost light au #sentient lost light #lightlost #reg/phoenix #sg/phoenix #spinoff #yea; it's just them getting to know each other

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witchyinthekitchen · 6 years

Text

This is a Vent Post about my Mother, Please do not reblog

This post is probably gunna be all over the place/time with things that I can remember/recall so bear with me here.

-Being told to make my own food bc mom was too busy with brand new baby (I was between 5-6 so poptarts were about all i could manage. I'd asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.) (my brother was a VERY finniky baby. If you weren't holding him he'd scream till his face went purple.))

-Tried to share interests in Anime/manga with her, when I asked her what she felt about it she said she couldn’t get into it and that it felt like a chore. (13-15 ish)

-Told her I needed therapy bc I was having suicidal thoughts. She took me, but then took me out once I started getting upset about the things i’d been talking about in therapy with my therapist because I'd come home in a bad mood.(15-16 ish)

-Went to Mother Daughter Group Therapy with her (there were other mother daughter combos) and she stormed out in the middle of it saying that we were only attacking her and not my dad too. (was 15-16 ish)

-Got into an argument about who i was voting for in the 2016 election while on vacation at Disney World (Hint it wasn't Trump like she wanted)(24 ish)

-Tried to gaslight me about trying to get everyone together to talk wedding stuff saying how she tried but that it all fell apart. (I have texts of her canceling it the day before we were all supposed to get together.)(26)

-Gets super defensive/upset any time I talk about “other mothers” in my life (MIL, BM)

-Has been super hot and cold with me during wedding planning and making passive aggressive comments about everything: Tell him to buy new pants for the engagement shoot 'bc I dont want him wearing baggy clothes -SO's Lost over 20lbs+ for the wedding and i'm so fuckin proud of him- “I don’t want to pay for hard alcohol for SO and his friends to drink at the wedding.” As if ½ the people invited weren’t all just her friends? ((All our friends live out of state/country so half the wedding is family and HER friends/neighbors.)) "I’m sure H*(SIL) and K*(MIL) have good counsel for you on _____," (Why would you say this when i'm asking for YOUR opinion? If i wanted their opinion i'd ask them.)

-4 months before the wedding she’s trying to talk me out of my venue saying we need to go look at the ones SO and MIL had suggested.

-Wants me to keep (BM)'s relation to me a secret even though i’m pretty sure 85% of the people who know me and are coming to my wedding know i'm adopted.

-Angry that I was moving out of the house at 21 with my SO she told his mother she hoped we’d fail. (In her defense she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I'd done poorly in my last semester of college so parents thought it would be a good idea to take me out of college for a semester so i could live at home and basically be at my moms beck and call while also being expected to work 2 jobs (they'd told me the instant that the semester was over that i was expected to work 2 jobs) -That's at least how I was viewing that whole situation before I moved out- )

-As a kid I remember wanting to run away a lot. (Never away to a friends house but always to a park to live under a bridge like the goblin I am (lol)) (is it obvious I use self depreciating humor to get through things that I'm uncomfortable with? haha)

-I'd always hide things from her, even small things like a puzzle book i'd bought myself from the elementary school book fairs. i even began writing my diaries in code so she couldn't read them. Not that i ever caught her reading my diaries or what not but thats how afraid i was.

-The only things that stopped me from killing myself was the distressing thought that my mother would be more upset with blood on the floor than me being gone. (It was a constant worry of mine when I was having ideations.)

-When i was getting close to graduating high school the librarians told me they had a bunch of excess old books they were getting rid of and one of them happened to be the "Toxic Parents" book i've seen several other posts refer to. I took no other books besides that one. I hid that from her too. Looking back through it i remember there was a checklist in the book and i'd filled some of it out when i was younger. I most definitely am a people pleaser.

-We've never really been able to "talk" about things together like how my dad and i do and i think she's really jealous about it.

-The only way I feel comfortable talking to her is Via Email/Text because then that way i have a copy of all the things she's said. because i often forget things. (I honestly don't know how bad my memory is or if its gaslighting but i hope its just me being forgetful and not the latter...)

-I literally cannot let my SO do the dishes because my Mom would always do the dishes/clean when she was mad and bang pots around loudly and just even those sounds set me on edge.

-Her telling me that the careers i wanted to get into (IE: the Arts/Theater/Music) wouldn't make enough money and that they'd be fine as Hobbies but not as careers.

-She's continually trying to push me into a Customer Service Job because i'm so good at making other people happy. (talked to dad about this and he says i'm a very big people pleaser who doesn't like conflicts -cue nervous laughter about wedding planning-)

-Being around her for long periods of time is so physically/emotionally draining. I know that's probably a result of always being on edge with her and I always feel bad that I feel that way.

-Because she's said she hoped I'd fail (me and my So when I first moved out) I'm terrified of telling her anything personal going on in my life for fear that she'd take it out on me or use it against me (i got super anxious/scared when she came up to see me on my end of town once because we'd be stopping at the mall where i used to work and i hadn't yet told her that I'd quit that job.)

-I want to have a relationship with her. I want us to do fun Mom& Daughter things but at the same time I'm scared of letting her get too close to me again just to have it fall apart again.

-When I moved out (21) i went VLC with my whole family before i even knew what VLC was. I barely saw them (except for certain holidays/events.) I didn't talk to my dad for about 3 years because of this and am just now recovering that relationship with him (been 5 years now since I moved out)

-After I get married my plan is to move to CO. During that time i don't remember if my mom has mentioned if she'd miss me, but i do recall she has made multiple points to tell me that my dad says he would miss me.

-I had to beg for a 16th Birthday Party. She finally caved half a year later after I'd talked to my Therapist about it.

-pretty sure i'm the SG of the family (possibly Cousin 1 being the GC because she went to same University my mom did)

-Other family members on her side have stepped in to provide financial help to me on the promise that i wouldn't tell anyone. (probably to stop any gossip of favoritism)

I Don't know if she's an N or just really bad at expressing herself but her hot and cold attitude really sets off my anxiety that i've done something to piss her off and that she won't talk to me about it for a few weeks and then acts as though nothing is wrong/nothing happened. Planning my wedding is the MOST contact we've had in 5 years since i moved out and went VLC and i've been trying to use this as a way to bond with her better but anytime i think i'm getting somewhere Something happens and she's upset again. A phrase i've found myself come into saying recently is "I can't fix something that I don't know is wrong." So i've tried to take that approach when it comes to her. I know she's an adult and can choose for herself if she wants to talk about whats on her mind. I can't force her to talk if she doesn't want to but the anxiety it causes when she gets into these moods is really debilitating. I'm terrible at letting things go (especially if i think its my fault)

I'm Not Her Therapist, but if she has an issue with me I wish she'd just tell me instead of the Silent treatment for a week.

Trigger Topics that I've learned to Avoid at All Costs:

Anything about "Other Mothers" in my life.

Politics & Racism

Anything in the Past that happened.

My moving out

Anything that paints her as a "Bad Mother"(aka this whole post probably)

This post is a mess and I'm rambling. Thanks for sticking through this Brain Dump while I process.

-Edit 2:

More things i'm recalling: For Christmas one year in front of my whole family (I was between 8-10 ish) she got me a set of underwear with the days of the week labeled on them and told me in front of everyone that "Maybe this would help me remember [to change my underwear daily]..."

One of my final years in high school I somehow managed to get a Cold Sore. My First Cold Sore ever and my lip where it broke out swelled up HUGE. I woke up the day it appeared ( a weekend thank the gods) and horrified went downstairs to tell my mom about it. I don't recall any words of sympathy other than "Cold Sores are caused by Herpes." I just remember breaking down into tears.

I mapped out a "Quiet Walking Path" that avoided all the creaky floorboards and steps in our house.

I get extremely anxious whenever I would hear my parents footsteps coming up the stairs. It got to the point that I could distinguish their steps on Carpet.

I jump/flinch (visibly) at loud noises, even if I know they are coming (movies songs ect.)

Routinely friended/unfriended me on Facebook before deleting it entirely (due to 2018 spying/hacking allegations)

I don't know if she means for these things to be hurtful but as someone who doesn't enjoy confrontation and is extremely sensitive to others feelings it just hurts y'know?

-edit 3: Attempted to talk to mom about her saying she hoped we'd fail via email. went about as well as expected. =Well, that clears a lot of things up. We only wanted you to be independent and happy, and it appears you are. End of story!

And for what it’s worth, I’ve said a LOT of things over the past 6 years that you didn’t hear about. And I’m not really sure where you heard “I hope they fail.” But I’m sure your source is 100%, and certainly not something you’d want to clarify with me.

I hope you got your apartment all squared away in Colorado. You should be under the 60-day notice by now! Woo hoo!

Let me know when you all are coming to get your stuff out of the house.

I’ll have it packed and ready for you.

-Mom

Am i reading into this too much? because it sounds like she's being hella passive aggressive about this.

-Edit 4: 7-19-18 Been venting about wedding planning being stressful on fb away from my mom since she doesn't have one anymore. I didn't realize she had fms reporting to her about my posts as she just randomly mentions via text that she wants to help me have fun while planning and that she wishes she could make it a happy time for me.

Edit 5: 9-26-18 Wedding is over finally. had our honeymoon and got moved out of our apartment back into my MIL's house. During the move we had to put all of our stuff into storage which includes Wedding gifts and thankyou notes. So Mom has been hounding me about getting them done and i've informed her several times that all of that is in storage and i havent been able to yet. She said not an excuse go buy more thankyou notes and write them all. I asked if Emailing a thank you would work, she says no must be hand written and mailed out (also who's paying for 100+ stamps: Me) Well Tonight she informs me that she's doing all the ones from her/my side and that she doesn't care if we do them for DH's side since SIL didn't send any thank you notes either. Cue big long talk with DH about all of this and he says not to worry about her being passive aggressive like this. Go and check my Email to find she sent an Email to me only with writing saying

"Dear all,

Thank you so much for attending --- wedding. Your presence was so important to me, and I know to the kids as well. Thank you also for the lovely wedding gifts you sent or brought. I know they are appreciated and will be enjoyed by the newlyweds. It was very kind and generous of you!

Unfortunately, --- is unable to send thank you notes, but I did want you to know that your gifts, and your presence at the celebration, were very important to all of us, and very much appreciated.

Fondly,

MOM"

currently I'm choosing not to respond and I wonder how our relationship is going to be going forward from all of this... I was so happy that the wedding was over so i wouldn't have to deal with this petty drama bullshit anymore but I guess thats just too much to ask for.

-She's also unfriended me on facebook again. I'm tempted to just block her to stop this wishy washy stuff from happening again.

#Personal #DO NOT REBLOG #I will block you if you reblog this #Vent for myself #i don't know what to do anymore #Mom #Mom Vent #i hope i dont have to update this anymore #but we'll see #venting post #PERSONAL VENT #PARENTS #Emotional Abuse #Mental Abuse

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wannawrite · 6 years

Text

Lights on

who?: Wanna One’s Yoon Jisung

genre: 🌸 type: bullet point, day one of christmas collab winkwonk

blog navigator.

• part of the collaboration with my girls @onlyjihoons and @hwinkinghwi • Jisung is in charge of running a huge, high class, world recognised flower garden

CKLSSHODS THE COLLAB KICKS OFF HERE IT’S STARTING. wow can you believe I’m posting first because I’m the youngest...but I love my bbys.💕 please go check them out as well! Hope you guys enjoy this collaboration.

- Admin L

posted late due to wifi problems as I’m currently overseas/still on hiatus. Apologies.

• honestly • in all honesty • cross your heart • you did NOT want to be here • when your parents suggested taking a day trip to Gardens By The Bay • and drag you out of your precious bed during the December holidays • it was a huge hell no • work/uni had been so stressful you just wanted a day to yourself and the bed • well, that had been your life since the start of the holidays but • nothing could beat the workload landed on Singapore university students • study study study • jiayou friends!!!! • occasionally emerge from your house to run to the kopitiam [ food court ] or wet market for food • and kopi • and kaya toast • before going back to the safety of your room to hibernate • preferably without a blanket fort because Singapore is hot enough • tropics • ahh yes sunshine • sun: *fries you up on Orchard Road pavement* • it never really feels like Christmas here if you don’t see the fancy decorations at malls and Orchard Road • because this island only ever has one season • which is summer • maybe that’s why your family wanted to visit GBTB to get a feel of some Christmassy decor and winter plants • to ‘get into the holiday mood’ • but really • as much as you wanted to admire the view • and the place the government put tons of money into building • there was work calling your name • and you were still sleep-eyed when your mum woke you up, shoved you into the backseat and drove halfway across the island to the resort style flower garden • fun fact: I performed at GBTB once • such talent [delete] • the crowds of excited tourists and booming noise of chatter irritated you and you wanted nothing more to go home • why • plus, your parents planned to stay in the area until nightfall for some lighting display thingy • why • your sleep schedule had been really REALLY • really • messed up • :”) relate • you NEEDED sleep • December holidays is for sleep • fix your sleep schedule • proper sleep had become a need • it kind of always is but you just ignored it, grinding on to push your GPA up • get that 4.0 GPA! • but now • a need • you slept all the way to Gardens By The Bay, ignoring all the magnificent sights and attractions on the way • Merlion started sobbing how dare you • he was all scrubbed clean for the holiday season some more • Singapore Flyer wants to fly your ass away • Marina Bay Sands crumbled to the ground and you were still snoring • what a great citizen 👍🏼 • you were dead tired • yOU DON’T DESERVE THIS SLANDER • especially when you’ve seen it all already I guess • but honestly, I really want to be a tourist and do touristy shit one day • so you were ready to throw hands at all the people you didn’t exactly want to be around • ‘WAKE UP SWEETIE WE’RE HERE’ • cue car door opening • and blazing sunlight burning through your shut eyelids into the core of your orbs • AIR CON WHERE’S THE AIR CON • if you didn’t run, the humidity would frizz your hair up • before you could protest or wash your face to look as alive as the thriving plants • all the plants are hella well looked after believe me • iTS SO ALIVE AND ENTHRALLING • a ticket for Cloud Forest and Flower Dome was shoved into your hands • and you were thrown into the mystifying lands inside Gardens By The Bay • ooohhh • it was chillingly refreshing • misty • hmm • mysterious • mysterious Christmas • of course, GBTB had spared no expense on Christmas decorations • there was a Santa sleigh and reindeers pulling it on the upper floor • bet, it was going to illuminate once the sun went down • this is hard to explain in words but basically when you enter Flower Dome, you’ll see this really high platform far away on your right and usually some decorations are placed there • I actually haven’t been there in awhile • rip I googled all of this but my wifi is SLOW here • flowery scents wafted into your nose and surprisingly, it was energising • mhmm are those pine trees? • REAL pine trees growing in the soil • REAL ONES • we never get anything here • my mum nearly bought a dead $80 tree from Cold Storage idk if we should or should have • are those poinsettias? • red • blue • green • this is how Singapore decorates every year I’m not kidding • go Orchard Road and you’ll see • I think • anyway • you won’t be surprised if there was going to be gingerbread men growing on trees • Singapore science and technology is advanced 😫😭 • they actually formed the formula for the OCBC [bank] Skyway trees • they absorb sunlight, turns it into solar energy and that energy powers some parts of the park! • but imagine if food really grew on trees • you did buy a gingerbread man from a cart to fuel yourself • since you did skip breakfast • maybe you should get turkey and log cake for breakfast • even the lady serving you was decked out in poinsettias and a christmas hat • this is fiction I think ^ • huge mood • PUMP UP C’MON • Christmas carols and pop songs were blasting through the speakers • ‘ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOUUUUU’ • it really got you into the mood • you wanted to dance • ‘JINGLE BELL ROCK’ • ah yes • jazzing to Christmas music • maybe you’d look like the awkward uncle from Hong Kong no one knew about until this year when he finally paid a visit • my family ^ • casually • rocking by yourself • yeah, that mood • bRING ON THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT • uh but you were also kind of freezing because there wasn’t much time to bring a jacket and whatnot • you never actually need a jacket in SG fyi • it’s 30+ degrees celcius all year round • but here, they plunge the temperatures so that the imported plants are able to survive and live well • suck it up • plants can deal with it but I can’t ??? no way • there were sparkly blue christmas lights draped all around the trees and there was a HUGE, GIGANTIC christmas tree decked out with lights, colourful ornaments • ahh so sweet • gET INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT • you helped to take pictures of your parents • so cute • all touristy • and of course, family pictures and more christmas aesthetics • then suddenly • your parents spotted a tour ongoing • ‘eh let’s go join,’ • ‘mUM NO WE DIDn’T SIGN UP FOR IT’ • ‘aiya nevermind, they’ll never see one.’ • classic • so you slipped behind this group of people and their tour guide • the man was explaining something about the species of flowers • and how they were only found native in Alaska or something • but you know SG government invested big money to import and grow these JUST for christmas • wink wonk • they really endorse this garden city concept here • it actually is cute I like it • but there should be more garden, just saying • appreciate nature • anyway • ‘and this species only grows in the coldest of weathers...’ • out of the corner of your eye, you spy a handsome, professionally dressed and seemingly important man • walkie talkie, iphone in his suit pocket, observing the guide • there’s a silver name tag pinned onto his jacket • manager? • supervisor? • managing director? • CEO? • there’s also a tiny poinsettia under his name tag • huh adorable • he’s definitely passionate about his job because you’ve seen these suited dudes and most of them ripped off the pin the second their boss turned their back • he’s different • you notice sweat suddenly rolling down the guide’s face • so that handsome guy is probably his superior and making sure he’s doing a good job • maybe he holds a really high position • ‘hEY HENRY SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE CACTUS EXHIBIT YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME NOW’ someone yells from behind • most probably another staff • this is a MAJOR thing okay • henry, your tour guide, VISIBLY jumps in shock, trying to find a solution • he really doesn’t need a mix of angry Singaporeans and tourists • >:( • wAtch ouT fOR thE CoMplaIN qUEEns • probably me so I can’t say anything • hENRY DO SOMETHING • let him live he just works here • HENRY SAVE THE CACTUS • HENRY DON’T WASTE TAX PAYERS MONEY PLEASE WE SPENT MONEY OF CACTUSES • ‘i got this,’ • your eyes widen when that dapper man pats Henry on the shoulder and gestures for him to follow the other worker behind the group • oooh he’s kind-hearted as he as good-looking • he hastily thanks the man, bowing slightly before running off • ‘hello everyone, apologies for the swap. I am Yoon Jisung and I’ll be your tour guide for today.’ • omg he’s so cute • his lips curve into a smile, one that reaches his eyes, completely opposite of his suave, serious look • ‘now, about this plant....’ • you’re completely amused and into his thorough explanation • plus, he has great way of expressing and wording his sentences • not to mention his facial expressions • that guy who always keeps everyone’s fullest attention • only now, you’re keen to tag along behind the group • sweetie me too • if i ever had a hot guy helping me • well, a Yoon Jisung guiding me • your parents eagerly blend and meld into the existing group, no one bats and eye • Jisung blinks • Jisung just smiles • he closes one eye • continues on with his explanation and tour without saying anything • after about 30 minutes wandering around • 30 minutes in his presence • half an hour breathing the same air as you • indirectly talking to him for 30 minutes • highlight of today • s w o o n • the tour slowly draws to a close • you’re dreading its end • at the end of the last exhibit, Jisung claps once and announces that his mini tour has come to an end • ‘you’re free to wander around, I’ll be here if you have any questions.’ • he smiles as the crowd breaks into applause • oH mY GOODNESS HIS SMILE CAN SAVE THE WORLD • a FrIckINg BEAUTY • between Jisung and the flower bed you can’t tell which one is the flower • ‘hey y/n, we’re going to that exhibit for a bit.’ your parents say, wandering off and leaving to your own devices • ‘o-oh okay.’ • you pretend to admire a flower, really, you’re admiring Jisung • he smiles, nods and waves at visitors while observing the staff • so sweet • doesn’t hesitate to help a curious visitor with questions • or a lost child looking for their parents • lowkey, you’re following him • you know, just around that square of attractions • he’s the biggest one • he faces your direction and you quickly duck, pretending to admire an ignited Christmas snowflake light • thinking he has finally looked away and moved on, you pop you head up • only to • meet his gaze • BUSTED • red-handed • red faced now • WH00PS • whAT HAVE I DONE • oh no • heat flows to your face and you want to jump and hide in a bush • there’s an abundance of bushes too • hey this thorny one seems very appealing • hopefully then I’ll remove all trace of myself • let’s :) hope :)) he :))) doesn’t :)))) see :))))) me :)))))) • I did great • good job • well done • you tried • how to check out a guy and not be caught 101 • 1. Don’t look up • 2. Jump in a thorny bush • ‘hello,’ Jisung greets. ‘how can I help you?’ • uHM • bY NOT MAKING MY HEART FLUTTER • PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME • W O W MY HEARTBEAT SEEMS TO HAVE SPED UP A LOT • I REALLY WONDER WHY • I must be romantically attracted to plants or something • nO IT’S JUST YOU • and he’s a foreigner • his name gives him away completely and he probably has his own native language • yet he’s so fluent in English • hard-working intellectual • home boy could like...get it • hELP ME • someone save you pls • smiling sheepishly, you try to seem nonchalant and all • ‘I was just wondering...where...uhhh...um.’ • there’s no excuse you can come up with so you stand in silence with a heated face • Jisung just chuckles • he’s so cute when he laughs and his eyes just become crescent moons like ASDFGHJKL • jisung on master key got me rethinking my bias list tbh • Guanlin gonna have to fight >:( • ‘I’m Jisung,’ he introduced properly, offering his hand to shake. ‘How can I assist you?’ • STOP MY HEART FROM FLUTTERING • PLEASE AND THANKS • ‘I’m y/n, and um...what’s the Cloud Forest like?’ you ask randomly, even though you’ve read about it • is that all you could ask? • lol rip • Jisung thinks about it for awhile before bringing his hands together • ‘how about I show you instead?’ • OMG • he wants to spend more time with you • winkie wonkie • ;) • hmmm • you text your parents • because like most Singaporean parents, they’ll probably launch a police report if you’re out of their sight for more than 30 minutes • lol unless they leave you first • you: hi mother I’m going to the Cloud Forest first • the mother: ah can • the mother: with who ah? • oh • uh �� how to I explain to my mum that I’m going with this hot manager • who’s gonna guide me around • lowkey shady • but this is Singapore, very very safe one • aiyo but guys please still be careful and wary of people ah • police better be on speed dial • SG Secure is the way • you: with a friend • the mother: who? • you: I bumped into them here • slowly, you shuffle after Jisung • it’s okay, you’re an independent person it’s fine • everyone will see if Jisung tries to kidnap you anyway • or push you off the Cloud Forest bridge • uh • the mother: you’re going with that Jisung guy ah • the mother: don’t play play with your mother • the mother: he’s shuai [handsome] ok, I’ll be following behind • RUN • you beam at Jisung, looking up from your phone. ‘Let’s go!’ • ok guys this never actually happens so please don’t complain if you go GBTB and then there isn’t anyone like Jisung I’m sorry • Jisung takes you through the corridors, occasionally stopping to talk about the architecture • ‘where are you from?’ you blurt out, unable to keep the question in. ‘wait, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to’ • he shrugs, in fact, he starts smiling. ‘It’s fine. I’m Korean but I’ve lived here for a long time.’ • oPpA sArangHaEyO 😭😫 • ok but no lie, down here got a lot of koreaboos no offence but it’s quite true and it irks me a bit :((( • beaunite is the BIGGEST mess • I’m sorry • if you want to know, drop into our inbox • ‘ahhhh,’ you reply, nodding in understanding • growing up in a multi-racial society, you never had any qualms with having friends of other races • if you live in SG and you have problems with that, please :) move :)) • diversity • diversity is key • yes • Jisung is easy to talk to and you find yourself engaging in quick conversations with him • he’s easy-going • smiles a lot • does his best to talk to you • like • you know, making small comments, giving advice, talking about his own experience • ‘do you know Boost?’ [smoothie shop] • ‘sweetie, let me tell you, that day i Boost, I ordered a strawberry smoothie....’ • ‘LiSTEN, I’m telling you that the best chicken rice was the one Jinyoung da pao [takeaway] yesterday!’ • ‘whICH ONE?’ • ‘I don’t know, I fORGOT.’ • ‘HoW CAN YOU FORGET?’ • and you do the same • cute • this strayed so far from christmas I’m sorry • Cloud Forest is ten times more misting and mysterious than Flower Dome • much more • there’s a waterfall the first thing you enter • you gape at it in amazement • we don’t actually have natural waterfalls or rock formations here so things like these are pretty foreign and cool • the stone pathway around the display is all splashed with water • and you nearly slip • thankfully, Jisung reached out and grabbed your arm, guiding you to the least slippery part of the path • by the way, your arm is freezing because air con air con and more air con all day • it’s at least 10 degrees colder than the outside air • rip electricity bill :”) • he winces, wondering how you survived the cold all along • brace yourself for a cliché • CLICHÉ ALERT • Jisung takes off his jacket, and shyly hands it to you • ‘you’re absolutely freezing, take my jacket for now.’ • ‘oh no I can’t,’ you refuse • we have this very Singaporean thing where we refuse things we actually really want • and it kind of goes like a push-pull • until the person finally gives into the others pushing • ‘take it!’ • ‘I can’t, then you’ll be cold.’ • ‘it’s fine. wear it.’ • ‘....y-you sure?’ • ‘yes. wear it or you’ll become an icicle’ • see • ‘c’mon,’ Jisung says, taking your now covered arm. ‘Let’s go.’ • he seems to be saying that a lot • ADVENTURE TIME • adventure time with a cute guy • ;) • and your parents trailing behind • you could feel their eyes on you • watching your every move • l👀k out • this time, Jisung spends more time talking to you than actually explaining and introducing species of plants • unless it’s an absolute must to know what kind of fern that is • or which flower can be found where • but mostly its just • ‘hmm, I feel like the nasi goreng [fried rice] at Ang Mo Kio is the best..’ Jisung comments, falling into step with you • ‘huh? no lah, where got? The one in Serangoon Gardens is better lah.’ you shoot back, defending your favourite hawker • Jisung sighs and ‘tsks’. ‘No way, I’ll jio [treat you to a meal/outing] you one day and you’ll see.’ • did he just • ASK ME OUT? • WHAT • sure it isn’t ‘let’s apply for HDB’ [marriage proposal] • it’s so great that Jisung knows all the slang and is fluent in Singlish as well • husband • inbox if you want an explanation for all this slang :) it’s quite confusing sometimes • I kind of need Wanna One and Singlish because both are messes and it will be the best mess to ever exist • ‘moving on, this is an orchid that’s native to South Africa and....’ • no you suddenly can’t move on • MOVING ON GET A GRIP • even at lunch at a classy cafe, with Jisung gone, he can’t leave your mind • he said he would see you again after your lunch • somehow • somewhere • if it’s meant to be • ‘aiya, get your head out if the longkang! [drain] Singapore so small one confirm cannot lose people.’ • true • just take the next MRT back out • hi can someone please tell me if MRT stations decorate for Christmas? Thank you • ‘oi, y/n, kuai dian [quickly] makan. [eat] Later we late hor, I blame you.’ • ahhh parents :”) • but you know they’re just playing with you • after lunch, you spot Jisung at The Meadow - another part of GBTB - and wave • he comes running • ‘hi!’ • ‘woah, don’t you have paperwork or something more important to attend to?’ you ask, sort of hoping he doesn’t • you know just how DEMANDING jobs here are • cutthroat society • ‘nothing’s more important than you~’ he winks before bursting into giggles with you • HI NO ONE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT HERE • ‘uh... actually ah my job more important so let’s break up thanks.’ • SUCH ROMANCE • so then right • you two spend the next few hours exploring Gardens By The Bay • with and without your parents following you • Jisung does continue to talk about the gardens in between conversations • your surroundings are so bright and cheery • how were you in a bad mood? • there’s such a stark contrast from Starbucks, laptops and writing essays • cramming at work • cramming after work • the aroma of black coffee • or tea • working in general • so refreshing • so energising • so incredibly burning hot • btw, you returned Jisung’s jacket already which he had abandoned in his office • Jisung also doesn’t mind taking aesthetic pictures of you and the scenery • there’s also a couple of selfies of him on your phone • you find out he’s a bit gullible when you trick him into thinking that there was a dead pigeon on the park bench • he almost called animal patrol to remove it • it flew away unharmed • you can see why Jisung thrives in this environment • he’s so good-natured - pun intended - concerned, sweeter than a flower and more elegant than a swan • what a 12/10 day • then, nightfall comes • he escorts you to view the light display • Christmas Wonderland you think • but it’s already dreamland having Jisung as a new friend • from tour guide to friend • glo up • well done • took a huge WIN • never happens irl :( ^ • the light displays built finally illuminate • a smile ignites your face as you gaze at the structure, completely taken in • ‘impressive, isn’t it?’ Even though he views this every night, Jisung still takes a moment to admire the lights • your mother is secretly snapping pictures of you from behind y’all • ‘very,’ you breathe out, unable to comprehend Jisung’s [delete] it’s beauty • ‘this is crazy gorgeous.’ • the lights make you feel all warm and fuzzy, maybe as cool as royalty • there are sparkles and specks of glitter in your eyes, that’s how amazed you are • ‘thanks for spending the entire day with me, even though you didn’t have to,’ you tell Jisung sincerely. • ‘it was my pleasure. you’re good company.’ • did he go back to his professional, working self already? • your face falls slightly but you try not to let it show too much and nod • ‘I hope there will be more adventures like this,’ he adds. ‘Let’s keep in contact.’ • WHAT • OH GOODNESS WHAT’S HAPPENING • HUH • yOU HAVE ONE NEW CONTACT • you try to keep your cool even though internally, your heart has never thudded so quickly and you have never been this excited yet nervous • ‘so, where should we venture to next?’ • Jisung pretends to be deep in thought, pulling a face that shows he was pondering hard and making calculated decisions in his head • ‘how about National Gallery? or we can go see whose nasi goreng is better?’ • it sounds so appealing you can’t wait • the plans are already starting to form • you can’t bring home any flowers from here • but now, you’ve got one • nodding your head and offering up your pinky for Jisung to lock, you say, ‘Deal.’

#Admin L #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #yoon jisung #ha sungwoon #hwang minhyun #ong seongwoo #kang daniel #kim jaewhan #park jihoon #park woojin #bae jinyoung #lai guanlin #lee daehwi

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yvonneyusa · 4 years

Text

Oct’2020

// 02 - Friday with Jacky //

Started the month right with a Friday out with Jacky. He was clearing leave and I was WFH so we thought let’s go for pancakes! The first two times we came it was wayyyyy too crowded and we didn’t want to wait but third was the charm! We only waited for around half an hour and we got chicken + waffles and the pancakes. Needless to say, both were amazing!! In between that 30 mins, we visited a bookstore and I got A Monster Calls for only $4! After which, we walked from bugis to funan and back to bugis bcos we were hunting for gifts, it was successful and we both got something for ourselves too. Went back to Woodlands for food. It’s been a while we both went out on a weekday and it just felt so different, a good way ofcos!

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// 08 - Dinner w Kaili //

Impromptu with Kaili always works! So happy she agreed to have curry rice with me and I just simply love the salmon curry rice from Monster Curry! Their curry is top notch!! It was a simple yet much needed catch up! As always! Thankful for her always!

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// 09 - Dinner w Nika //

We are both proud of announce that we are now Masters of Counselling!! Finally submitted all of our assignments and documents required to clear our practicum!! So chuffed that we made it through!! Honestly 18 months felt like it passed so quickly?! Thankful to have met her, Walter and Gia through the course and hope we all will keep in contact!!

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// 10 - Bday celebration for Hadz //

Advanced birthday celebration for Hadz, who is turning 27 this year! Thought it would be a nice change to do picnic at Marina Barrage but the weather was not helping at all! It drizzled the entire afternoon so we decided to just sit in the shelter instead. We got lots of finger food but we both couldn’t finish them bcos we really are not big eater, we also played card games (exploding kittens) and honestly I am just so bad with games lol. But it was such a good time together! I got her a bag and bakes (banana loaf, teh tarik cheesecake, brownies), another gift is on its way so gotta wait till next meet up!

Love that our pictures will always turn out really nice!

Happiest 27th my person! x

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// 13 - Dinner w Meiling //

Meiling finally had the time to have a meal together with me! Bless her, she’s been so caught up with work as many of her colleagues has left the company. Though we stay so near each other, I haven’t seen her around at all! It was great being able to meet nearby and have a catch up! Hope it all goes well for her! I will keep all my fingers crossed for ya!

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// 17 - Zoo w Jacky //

Wanted to do something together but really running out of things to do since Sg is so small, but I am always down for animal related stuff! Decided to go both River safari and the Zoo on a Saturday and we were SO blessed by the weather! All the Saturdays in Oct were rainy except the one we went out!! Though, not gonna lie, it was BOILING I thought I was gonna have a heatstroke soon hahaha I am not kidding!! It was proper hot, on top of having to wear a mask, it’s just tough. It was quite crowded at the Zoo actually, some of the exhibit were closed too - Jacky didn’t get to see the penguins he wanted. Nonetheless, it was still great to be out and about, sweating soooo much but good fun, good fun!!

^ fishes and panda Jiajia were spotted!

Selfie time!

^ I love animals! We need to really do a bigger part in conserving our environment!

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// 24 - SEA Aquarium with En //

Another Saturday with fishes, but this time round with En, to the SEA Aquarium! She was sooooo sweet to drove to mine and pick me up, we then had breakfast and went to the aquarium! Took us a while sorting out parking but it was all good eventually. We also had a good time at the aquarium and chilling at starbucks! Thankful that it was always easy together, and also hoping things gets better soon! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

^ Were so lucky to see 8 dolphins!!

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// 30 - Dinner w MSL xoxo //

Also another impromptu dinner with the MSL girlies! I’ve met them individually and haven’t got the chance for group meet up! Finally did it! Despite the fact that we all stays in the same area! Hahaha! Happy for Jiekie on starting her Masters in public health too! Great time girls! Pls lets do this more often!!��

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Epilogue

Unfortunately due to Covid, there wasn’t any physical book sale this year, so I waited for this online book sale to happen! And I did controlled myself not to get too many books bcos I still have lots I haven’t read. The down side bout online booksale is that you can’t browse through them one by one, so it’s a hit or miss kind of thing. I would say most of the ones I got seems promising, and now that I’ve a lil’ more time on hand, let’s read more! I said that, but it’s not as though I am not reading enough. LOL. But yeah! Let’s read more guys! It’s really good for your mind!

Hope yall enjoyed this month’s summary. Take lots care xx

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