#i was just feeling so blergh about this whiteness in if and the fandom

[grapecaseschoices]

i usually don't send asks and i would send this off anon, but im scared of getting hate on this, since ive seen quite a lot of discriminatory behaviour in if fandom spaces when it comes to poc opinions so imma just stay anonymous if that's ok with u.

i came across a post you posted a while ago regarding the if ROs and the lack of diverse characters when it comes to darker skin characters and i just wanted to say thank u for making that post. i hope it gives writers and the fandom some food for thought. ive been noticing ever since i got into the if community that black/ros of black descent tend to almost always be the less popular ros and as a mixed black person myself it's really sad to see. you also mentioned the lack of darker skinned east Asians/south East Asians if i recall correctly (if not please feel free to correct me) and I honestly couldn't agree not. ive noticed in some ifs that the characters of color that are the most popular tend to be those of east Asian descent with paler skin or poc ROs who's ethnicity is left ambigious by the author and whilst I'm really happy that there's been more progress made in terms of diversity, i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

some south east Asian friends of mine who are of Hmong-Thai and Agta-Filipino descent have also mentioned they would would love to see more South East Asian ROs as well as East Asian ROs who are darker skinned, because the majority of the rep that there seems to be for Asian characters are those with paler skin. its a similar feeling for Latinx ROs, i almost always see lighter skinned Latinx ROs being represented in the majority with a lack of darker skinned Latinx ros. I'm not forcing anyone to add diversity to their game ofc, but the ratio of poc ROs to white ros on some games have made me kind of sad to see, specially when there's like 4 or 5 white ros and then 2 ros of colors who seem like they were just kind of tacked on for representation points, but their backgrounds are left ambigious and no Nationality or ethnicity is ever mentioned by the author which kind of leaves me scratching my head ngl. there's also a prominent lack of SEA and SA rep in terms of ROs, so I'm always happy when I see one! I would also love to see more biracial characters who aren't half white, since we aren't all a monolith.

regarding black ros. in my time in the community whilst ive seen an increase in the amount of black ROs, seeing them always be the least popular in polls still makes me quite sad. i hope that fandom can become more open minded and give more black ROs a chance. on the other hand I've seen a lot of greatly written black ROs in comparison to back in the day, and I'm glad people are incorporating more ROs based on their culture which is great!

sorry about this essay, but i hope it doesn't come across as rude or offensive, it's just something that has been on my mind ever since ive seen your post regarding the lack of representation in if. English isn't my first language so I hope I expressed myself alright.

negl, when i the way you started and then the length of this post, i foreal thought it was gonna be a fight. so, it was a relief that isnt the case. i honestly don't think there's anything for me to add, because you said my feelings and all i could do is nod along as i read this.

though, i'm glad that my post struck a chord for you. (is that the thing to say?? i'm not even sure. i guess my purpose for that post was pointing out the ignored part and bringing on encouragement as well. so, while i'm glad it encouraged you to share your opinion and made you feel less alone in feeling uncomfortable with what you were seeing -- it sucks that things haven't changed to a point where you can feel comfortable saying your thoughts off anon without being harassed. like yikes [not at you, but at fandom]. roflmao. like this is 2023. we really STILL at a point where we're going to make people feel bad about having a GENERAL issue with the racism and colorism that if writers & the if fandom continue to show? rather than … idk continue to DO something about it.)

i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

i have actually seen some improvement, too. either from the fandom directly zeroing in and supporting black characters (i know the polls can seem disheartening - and i had a feeling that's what drew you to my inbox - but there HAVE been moments where the black character would be the most favored ro -- buuuuuut .... sadly, it is still so rare that i continue to be surprised when it occurs) or in the if writers boosting black characters because they have an awareness regarding fandom's bias. i definitely do think we need more of the latter, tho.

i still think there is a very long way to go. extremely. like i think in general, despite the imporvements we have both observed, a lot of the newer games i've seen ratio is still low like you said. it's a mix instead of being - at least from my observation - as consistently majorly white like it used to be. now i'd say the ratio is aybe 3 (white characters) to 2 (characters of color, of different races) ... as opposed to 3:1. Whoo. BUT i've seen what you mentioned too, still -- too many games are still so white. And if they're not, they're more often than not theyll be light skinned East Asian or black (or mixed... with white). Or an ambigous Latino that I can't tell if they're a white Latine or meant to be a character of color. So, yeah ... i don't know what it is. a fear of writing characters of color, not finding characters of color romanceable, or just a lack of awareness.

Like I guess I agree with you (lmao), I don't want to "pressure" people to have diversity either --- mostly because the people who get hurt in cases like that are minorities reading the story. My desire, I suppose, is a want to understand. I know a lot of IF writers have the idea that 'my story is for me', and in a sense, I agree -- I think we shouldn't expect writers to bend every bit of story to the fans (not even an interactive story). I've seen the mess that can create. However, if you wanted it to be JUST your story, you would've left it in your journal. You want engagement and participation -- you want to share, and I believe most stories should be shared. So, why as an artis wouldn't you want to make a story where .... I don't know. I'm tired. I've kind of gotten to a point where I'm just like whatever. I'm disappointed in myself for expecting better from IF writers and the IF fandom.

BUT I am glad that you and your friends are not only discussing but EXPECTING better, because you deserve it. Because your friends deserve to see and engage with characters who are SEA (of all shades, but especially of darker skinned). You deserve to see mixed raced characters who aren't half white (or light skinned), because as stated yall arent a monolith -- that isn't all there is in the world. (And it's WEIRD to me, like WHY do we AUTOMATICALLY assume mixed/biracial = partially white? I mean I KNOW why but COME ON! lol.)

*sighs*

i WILL say though, again, it's not all bleak: and i have seen variation of the TYPE of characters of color -- like it isn't always the cold e. asian or the black emotional pack mule best friend. so that's good. and i hope that continues.

and you're fine, dove. i actually appreciate your ask because like i said i was feeling kinda ho-hum about things but this sorta sparked a fire in me, roflmao. you expresse yourself just fine, and honestly despite the essay i wrote back i really didnt have anything worth adding.

[zevlogofamiserable]

Meta #7: Parallels

I’ve seen people drawing parallels between the “revolution” in Les Misérables and the situation in Chili (many Latinx Americans in my modest following and in the Les Mis fandom in general, from what I see; that’s very interesting. Also I saw a great art on @domedomini​ Instagram about it) or to Hong Kong protests (some protestors sang Do You Hear the People Sing) and before, the Tiananmen Square events in China. (Here are nice art works and posts about it). I bet there are many more parallels drawn with other countries (tell me about them!!) and I think it says a lot about what resonates today from the novel. And what is tragically ironic is that… … what happens in Les Misérables isn’t so well remembered… nor is it so important in French history. I mean… it was more or less a FAIL. And as Grantaire explained in their vlog “Vive les Révolutions”, we have a big history of FAIL in terms of revolutions but like, this one in particular… my friend who studied insurrectional literature of the XIXthe century calls it a “fart”. (And it’s in between two other revolts which had more results… it’s an ironic or romantic choice from Hugo, people probably wrote very well about it. I dunno).

Well, when it comes to France, we have this imagerie of LA REVOLUTION (1789) which happens before Les Mis, well… yes it’s recent and the imagery is everywhere, yes, but still. Most of the characters weren’t born at that time, right? And then, if you’re a leftist, you’re obviously super into LA COMMUNE DE PARIS (1871) which was hella bloody and happened way later and Victor Hugo actually hated it (bleh), while it’s a very interesting moment in history. That’s why the characters of ZeVlog mention it more (well, Grantaire especially, but they also mostly sing songs of La Commune… just because… There are more! And they’re prettier to be honest. Try singing Dansons la Carmagnole (a 1789 song)... it kinda sucks).

The latest song of a Misérable by Grantaire and Prouvaire

There’s also Mai 1968 which is very important for students although it wasn’t only a student movement but a massive social movement in France. All of this happens way later. And is way more widely remembered than the bloody “fart” that happens in The Brick.

Literature is so random.

I also have to tell you that we know so little about the Brick’s revolution in France that when the musical movie came out (which is actually widely despised because French people have no taste and don’t like musicals that much ahah), everybody thought these bloody Americans were appropriating and shitting on our 1789 revolution.

AHAHAH. Ah.

So our imagery of it… well… Obviously there are reasons why it’s all mixed up… like Les Mis fashion with blue red white “cocardes” and stuff is very 1789, but still… we don’t know much about it, that’s all. It’s just not something we study a lot and I find very ironic it’s this moment that inspired… well the most iconic revolution in French literature. Written by a dude who later hated La Commune. ...  Blergh.

Victor Hugo being a Commune hater

When I rediscovered Les Mis myself, it was after having heavily studied Russian literature, and thus, the very heavy nihilist, anarchist discourses that run through it. Russian literature as we study it is mostly composed of XIXth century/XXth century books and a large part of it is all about revolutions and terrorism and resistance and all that. And, to be honest, I recognized that spirit when I reread the ABC parts in Les Mis. It’d be apolitical to say it’s “universal”, and situations widely change the meaning of a revolution, but this “revolutionary idealist youth” spirit is running through all these books and echoes in real life. I don’t think Hugo is a good inspiration for a revolution as a man. There’s really propaganda in France about his work and point of view, making him seem like a highly leftist, revolutionary man for his time while he wasn’t that hardcore/badass/leftist BUT…

I feel like what the fandom gets from his work, queering it or racebending his characters with postcolonial discourses in mind, is way more important now than what he wrote.

Keep being great, guys.

[big-stupid-jellyfish]

i was so sick of my issues with psn not letting me play d2 when i want to and so thirsty for some familiar shooty shoot action that i accidentally got me:a and started playing it

(if someone didn’t borrow titanfall 2 from me and then drop off the face of planet earth, it’d be easier, but here we are)

1. i told myself “fuck it” and made ryder look like this

i didn’t anticipate that ingame she was going to look like a goddamn thirteen years old kid though, but otherwise i’m happy about my choices here, you know, since that’s the only thing that actually matters

2.1. i only started, but it’s painfully obvious how me:a would’ve been better if it wasn’t a part of this damned franchise. people who have never played mass effect games would probably enjoy it a lot more than me simply because of total lack of bias and expectations

2.2. playing andromeda feels like reading a massive mass effect fanfic where authors were super invested into their homebrew au and ocs but liked the setting well enough so they didn’t feel like writing an original. it doesn’t expand the world shaped by the trilogy and certainly doesn’t pick off where it left to develop that story, no. it’s kinda like... obligatory pacific rim aus in every fandom.

i don’t wanna go into dissecting my puzzlement at how me:a poorly handles a lot of plot points it technically should carry from trilogy, instead choosing to willfully forget or simply repeat them (e.g., a goddamn near extinction event that kinda just happened to all the people who left milky way, weird phobia of AIs that seems terribly outdated with how this exact theme was already tackled throughout entire fucking trilogy and kinda had everlasting effects on milky way’s species, and geth?? oh god, i just went there), but even if you drop THAT, there is a lot of odd shit with narrative

it doesn’t feel like a genuine story being told to you. more like, the game presents all the things you would expect from a mass effect game first, story second, and leaves it at that, hoping you won’t feel the difference

3. i’m super not fond of the ryder family as a device that sets the story in motion. i don’t get to play as my character, i get to play someone’s daughter and sister with preset affiliations and agenda. i don’t play my story, i play this character’s father’s story, and while i don’t seriously expect any kind of rpg experience, i just want to shoot things goddamnit, this is really jarring. especially since i just want to shoot things, but this chick i’m playing as has expectations to live up to, impostor’s syndrome to deal with, daddy’s issues to unpack, and do you also like drama due to being chosen to be pathfinder randomly instead of a teammate who was specifically trained for this and viewed your father as a mentor and now has to serve you? because there is that. blergh

4. speaking of shooting things

the deal with new enemy race, kett, is a lot better than tumblr led me to believe when the game was just out and hot shit. the word was, “ah yea, let’s just invade a new galaxy and declare native species enemies, we all totally want to play colonizers”. ingame, kett are not native to the planets humans and other species from milky way are trying to settle on. they scout these planets for research on technology left on these planets that is alien to us and kett alike.

which would have been a lot more interesting to deal with if there wasn’t this thing with the narrative, how every npc rushes to assure you how bad it is, that kett turned out to be hostile, wow, such a shame, that means now we can shoot them, we will definitely shoot a lot of kett, you can count on us that we will not hesitate to shoot them. the game really wants you to never forget two things: 1. peaceful first contact with new species is very important; 2. but it’s okay that we shoot kett despite them being the first alien race we made contact with, they’re the enemy

this simplistic black-and-white morality that is constantly spelled out to the player get even worse when we actually encounter the native species of this cluster and aid them. there is no nuance or detail to this second encounter, just like with kett, the game says they’re friendlies now, and they’re friendlies, no further delving into this subject

-

i’m not sure if i’ll be invested enough to actually complete the game. it might be not a good idea anyway, but ehhh

[froggybangbang]

@ashes-and-dust​ tagged me (eons ago) in a thing that starts personal and then degenerates into tv show stuff?? and... well here it is

1.) Why did you choose your URL?

You must all know this by now, lol. Okay so 1-I’m French Canadian, a popular insult for us by the English is “Frog” and I highly believe in claiming back insults.2-The first online url I had (well second. I had wolves has my special interest back when I was 12 so ‘wolfy136′ was the first, fleeting url I got) was after I joinned the HP fandom, with my favourite character, thus Lunard136/Lunard1 was born (that’s moony. my wolf special interest faded in the background but it’s still there to show lol). I started going to other websites than HP ones and I was starting to feel like that url wasn’t good for those so I thought long and hard about something I could be me and not fandom related so I wouldn’t have to change it again (because change is good but I hate it) and I came up with “Froggy”. Only to find it was used already. I was tired of the old 136 so I decided to had something about me in the url, something about my temper (I’m definitely a fire sign) and added the “bangbang” because I catch like a barrel of powder. (you dirty mind you if you thought I’d use it as a sex reference! Shame on you! except lol yeah I knew how it sounded and I was fine with letting people who don’t know me think I’m a nympho. what better way to hide I’m not really all that interested in sex, which is weird and not normal, right? right.)

2.) What’s your middle name?

Very few Quebecois have one, those who are afflicted by the old tradition, weather because their parents are religious or because it’s a tradition and nobody questions it have (for girls) Mary Godmother’sName FirstName LastName (for boys) Joseph Godfather’sName FirstName LastName. That’s the format and absolutely nobody goes by the first two to the point that my passport doesn’t even show them because I was told not to put them in if I’m not using them (???!!!? but okay!) anyway my are Mary Diane Kristine LastName

3.) If you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?

I’d love a tiny dragon? I’m pretty sure I said “I want a X now!” a few onth ago but I can’t remember what it was... But honestly if I can, in my life, befriend a corvid that’s like. the dream goal. It has been for ever.

4.) Favourite colour?

hmmm I really love orange. every shade but especially the dark burnt one. I also like dark green, dark blue, dark teal and dark purple a lot? I’ll go with orange

5.) Favourite song?

That’s.... not something I can answer. Honestly how can you pick one? IDK I really love In Hell I’ll be in Good Company these days? I really love Phillip Glass’ Violin Concerto No.1 2nd Movement if you prefer no voice. Also Dream Fragment from the Chrono Cross OST because I’m a sucker for music box.

Here are a few of my Spotify playlist, for those interested.

A Little Bit of Everything is pretty much all the songs I like and remember to put on spotify (if spotify has them. They lack in Quebecois music)

Music Rec is songs that you might not know about that exist and you should listen to them, but this doesn’t get updated very often

RN is the playlist that keeps changing. My current obsessions are on that one

In the Summertime are songs for a nice warm summer day with a light breeze and a hammock (or something. maybe a few friend in the backyard and a beer.)

And Sunday Mornings is the playlist I’m listening to mainly on sunday mornings (It’s playing right now) because it fits the vibe of a sunday morning when you start your coffee and still might have an eye glued down

6.) What are your top three fandoms?

errr I’ll go with HP, 1D (*glares at @ashes-and-dust​*) and....hmm. I’m not really active in any of the others anymore. but I guess Sherlock?(though Pacific Rim or Cabin Pressure also fit third place but I think I still read more sherlock fic than I do PR or CP)

7.) Why do you enjoy Tumblr?

This hellsite is my main place for interacting with sensible human beings. I also LOVE *those* posts. you the ones where one person asks a questions/ places a random thought and then.... it just. takes a life of its own? and everyone knows them? The Guam Cookie post is one. The many Aliens finds Humans Weird also. but then there’s the smaller ones like just. They are exactly the kind of stuff I’d be saying with my (ex? maybe?)friend in Rimousky like you say something, and they add something in a deadpanned way that is bviously exagerated/insane and then you add on it and they add on it until you are at the stage that you won’t be buy mayo because, really, having to marry someone from an island so you could get away with murder is much too much effort. That’s why I love tumblr.

PICK YOUR 5 FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS:

ugh I very rarely watch tv anymore these are hard.

1. Merlin

2. Doctor Who (until season 5/6 anyway. Moffat killed it)

3. Torchwood

4. The X-Files (haven’t seen the reboot but I’d love to!)

5. ...... Sherlock (I guess? But I still haven’t watch the last xmas special nor the last season? Moffat killed it?)

1. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 2?

hmmmmm..... *shakes the Ponds, Martha Jones and Dona Noble in her hand to see which will get out* I’m going to go with Dona. I’m not so in your face, but I really relate with her and she had an awesome friendship with 10, not afraid to give him a good earful if he went overboard.

2. WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 1?

Shit idk. I mean Uther and Morgana where mean shit but I loved their characters for what they were..... I’d say between Uther and Mordred? idk. 

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EPISODE OF 4?

Oh shit. Dude do you have any idea how many episode there is of the xfiles?? I’m going to go with the one on the boat, because that’s the one that popped into my head right now (immediately followed by that black and white one when Mulder meets the Gunmen for the first time... that CELL PHONE OMG) and any moment when Scully and Mulder have SASS going on.

4. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON OF 5?

The first season is the best without a doubt. I’ve loved the second season but in the first one the story were even more concentrated on one story per episode and it was very well thought off and they didn’t overdo it yet, which they tented to do afterwards, as well as letting more episode be one story and not following canon anymore. I’m actually sadden at my lack of consistency at following Elementary.

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE RELATIONSHIP IN 3?

Oh. er... Ianto/Jack. but. like. I don’t like to think about that because of children of the earth.

6. WHO IS YOUR ANTI-RELATIONSHIP IN 1?

I know it sounds weird but I really see Arthur and Gwen as bromance who agreed to marry because throne? They have a great chemistry but I just don’t buy it.

7. HOW LONG HAVE YOU WATCHED 4?

The first episode I’ve seen was on TQS with the french dubbed version of the first episode we see the guy that can dislocate every bones in his body to crawl in small places. then I got hooked and rented the VHS of the series, bought books of the series, the official magazines, unofficial biographies (my gosh is the internet cheaper) and watched every episode (at some point switching in the English version on Fridays) until Mulder got abducted. Tried to watch that season but didn’t care to not miss an episode... then I just... forgot to tune in. so that’d be since.... according to WIKI the first episodes in French were in 1994 and “squeeze” is the third one.

8. HOW DID YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN 3?

Because of Doctor Who.

9. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE ACTOR IN 2?

Grahhhhh okay I’m going to go renewed series because fhjdsahlsb and it’s still hard but I think I’ll go with David Tenant. Tough Karen Gillan is good too. Oh! fuck and John Simm fuck I forgot John Simm and Life on Mars! damn. Okay John Simm

10. WHICH SHOW DO YOU PREFER: 1, 4 OR 5?

You drive a hard bargain. I’ll go with the X-Files; 4

11. WHICH SHOW HAVE YOU SEEN MORE EPISODES OF? 1 OR 3?

as in proportionally? because I’ve see all of them, but I *think* merlin has more episodes? Though I’ve watch Torchwood more often I think?

12. IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE FROM 4, WHO WOULD YOU BE?

I’m not sure I’d like to be anyone on the x-files that sounds like a very dangerous life. although wait no not true! one of the gunmen! They have the coolest job in the series.

13. HOW WOULD YOU KILL OFF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 3?

*stares* Not like that. 

14. WOULD A 2/3 CROSSOVER WORK?

HAHAHA well. YES, mainly because IT IS a thing between DW and Torchwood.

15. PAIR TWO CHARACTERS IN 2 THAT WOULD MAKE AN UNLIKELY BUT STRANGELY OKAY COUPLE.

The Master and Donna? If, you know, the Master got his murdering tendencies in check. idk I’m not good at pairing people. I pick and chose those who exist in the fandom.

16. OVERALL, WHICH SHOW HAD A BETTER CAST: 3 OR 5?

Damn.... I mean Andrew Scott alone.... but then it got cringey... but I don’t particularly like Gwen but I’m pretty sure it’s not the casting..... I’ll go with Torchwood.

17. WHICH SHOW HAS A BETTER SOUNDTRACK: 1, 4 OR 5?

I do not know Merlin’s Soundtrack well enough to comment on it and I think the X-files’ is pretty lacking, but Sherlock has some very good music, the Irene piece is on of my favourite.

Blergh. I don’t want to tag because lazy. go ahead and give me the answers, though. Especially the music ones I’m always interested in finding new music!