#i was on my computer and it didn't seem like that much text there lol

[prettyinpwn]

I know I'm gonna sound like a crazy old broken record... but hear me out. Lots of speculation as to the true purpose of the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com thing beneath the cut.

So... does anyone else feel like the ARG website is... odd? Like it's leading to something more coming? And before anyone screams, "Well, ackshully, Hirsch said he doesn't want to do a Season 3-"

YES. I KNOW. He said no Season 3 a million times. I was there when he told us Season 2 was it for the first time. But what he didn't say, however, was, "No more Gravity Falls anything... EVER.". Hence why we've gotten Journal 3, Lost Legends, and now The Book of Bill. Hirsch is veeerrrrry comfortable making more GF stuff.

And as someone that studied programming in college, I can tell you, this website does not seem like it was easy or cheap to make. It's effectively a single screen point and click game in a browser. Looking at the code, it seems they did use a framework called Bridgetown, lacing in looped animated MP4 files with clickable assets on top that make up the interactive elements (e.g the computer), with a lot of content made for the website itself from image files and text for each prompt a user might type. Sure, it's not the most difficult thing to program, but it's a lot more complex than, say, the searchfortheblindeye site back in the day.

That, and as someone who has worked in the corporate world, I'm sorry, but you don't pour this much effort/money into something that is just "lol cool things after product for funsies". If this was just for The Book of Bill, the smart marketing decision would have been to make the lofi album and the website, tease fans with both of them, and let them lead to an announcement of the book itself to tempt them into buying it, not the other way around. Like... Disney ain't gonna do that just out of love for fans. It's Disney, come on. They do things for money.

It's possible that Hirsch paid for it himself just for the fans, but I doubt it. Wanna know why? Because of the website's security certificate and ownership. Let's take a gander at this:

There are two odd things here. One, the range of the expiration. Most security certs last 1-2 years, at least they did at one of my previous places of employment (and we had like 50+ of them). This one expires November 7th, 2024. Odd, but maybe they only want the website up for a few months? Anyways, as an aside, everyone keep an eye out for November 7th, 2024. Could be nothing, could be something.

The other weird thing is the domain holder. Looking it up on ICANN, it gives this address:

Look that up on Google Maps, and it takes you to a company called Dun and Bradstreet. Long story short, the company does a bazillion things, but the main thing we're talking about here is:

Oh gee, Sales and Marketing. And their Sales and Marketing tools? Basically, they use data to tell companies who their audience is, so that they can market to them. Now, why would Disney care about this for a fandom for a show that's been done for almost a decade, just for a book that was released before said website (so we know they're not gathering marketing data for the book)?

Well, if I were to guess... long story short, all this stuff is a tactic to gauge who the Gravity Falls audience is now. Release the book, make some dough and fans happy, tie in a secret marketing data collection gimmick (AKA the website) using D&B as a vendor to hook the data into your CRM, send fans to a website to collect marketing data, and shabam. Now you know who the target market is all this time after.

And why in the hell would a company care about that? You tell me. Why care about who a target market is if you're not planning on marketing something to them later?

It could be that Disney is planning something similar to Gravity Falls and wants to gauge if there'd still be a market for that kind of show. Or... it could mean that Disney is planning on something more substantial related to Gravity Falls or Hirsch pitched it, and they were like, "Well, wait, let's collect data on this, first, so we'd know if it'd be a good business decision.". Not sure.

I mean, maybe I'm crazy, but doesn't this seem fishy to anyone else? If anyone else has any hypotheses as to why Hirsch and Disney have a Gravity Falls website owned by D&B, let me know, but to me... this smells... very... marketing oriented. And Hirsch doesn't seem like the guy to pour his own money into hiring an outside company to gather marketing data, that seems more up Disney's alley.

[transformation4life]

A Little Too "Daddy"

It was a typical summer day after work for Joseph in his aparment. He typed away on his computer talking to his boyfriend, Carl.

Carl: Saw a really hot guy today while walkin' home today babe

Joseph: Oh yea? What body type

Carl: A total Daddy!!! Like damn... wish he was my boyfriend. Not to say you're bad but like... you know. Joseph: Haha... I see.

Carl: It's whatever anyway lol he was with his kids and clearly banged a woman.

Joseph: You can't say that for sure-

Carl: He was every stereotypical dad trope in the book bro. I know my stuff!!!

Joseph: If you say so... but like are you trying to say I should try and bulk up?

Carl: Maybe...

Joseph: Aw Carl, You know that's difficult.

Carl: Yea but imagine me calling you daddy haha

Joseph: You're lucky I love you.

Carl: Yea i know! Anyways Gotta go now. My favorite telenovela is about to start. Love you babe!

Joseph: Bye. Love you!

Joseph closed the messaging app with a sigh. He did a "bicep" flex and yup still skinny.

"Ugh. This sucks! Why can't I be what he wants?" Joseph slammed his face on his keyboard in despair.

"I should really talk to someone about this- oh wait! Joseph recalled the therapist hotline stapled onto the breakroom pinboard at his work.

"I guess I'll text it right now..." Joseph was quick to turn on his phone and with a bit of help he eventually texted the codeword to activate the automatic transfer.

Thank you so much for being here we'll get you to one of our members immediately!

"Oh great... this'll take a while hu-"

*Bling*

"oh!"

???: Hi my name is G3NI3 how can I help you, today?

Joseph: G3NI3? Did your parents hate you?

G3NI3: Nah dude it's a CODENAME. Gotta keep some sort of confidentiality

Joseph: Ah right fair enough

G3NI3: Alright so what's your name and why did you text us today?

Joseph: Joseph, and I'm here because of my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Aww did you break up?

Joseph: No... it's more... he saw a hot dad today and said "i wish he was my boyfriend"

G3NI3: Oh i see... was the dude straight?

Joseph: Yea why do you ask?

G3NI3: Just wondering... Anyways so I'm guessing the dude was like super buff and stuff? Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 20's...

G3NI3: I see I see... so what you're saying is that if you were an older "daddy" you'd be happier?

Joseph: Yea. Atleast it'd appease my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Alright then, say Joseph why don't you tell me about your life and how you met your boyfriend maybe this'll help

Joseph: Uh... sure. Okay so like... we met in highschool and we REALLY hit it off so we started dating pretty soon after and now we're here.

G3NI3: Makes sense. Though... based on your talks I feel like you'd be more bros than boyfriends

Joseph: Huh? what makes you say that?

G3NI3: Idk just got the vibe.

Joseph: How WOULD you say that you only know him as my boyfriend.

G3NI3: Yea but like for people your age, not sure i'd go randomly say "hey this man my age should be friends with me!"

Joseph: What are you talking about? My boyfriend is like 24 and the dude seemed 40.

G3NI3: Nah man, didn't you say you were both in your 40's?

Joseph: No... I said 20's

G3NI3: Pretty sure I saw 40's

Joseph: Yea well!! I can just scroll up and see!!

G3NI3: Suit yourself.

Joseph was getting furious at this "G3NIE". He 100% told them he was in his... 40's? Joseph read the text again.

"Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 40's..." Joseph couldn't believe it, but then it dawned on him oh wait... he IS in his 40's haha imagine actually being in my 20's again that would be WILD.

Joseph: Sorry about that. You're right me and my boyfriend are in our 40's.

G3NI3: Told ya. Though you never told me your boyfie's name.

Joseph: Oh it's Carl. Pretty normal name.

G3NI3: Weird... I feel like he would be more a Carlito.

Joseph: Uh... What makes you say that?

G3NI3: Isn't he from Mexico?

Joseph: Uh... yea? But how did you know that?

G3NI3: Lucky guess. I mean... imagine having a mexican hottie like him as your bro.

Joseph: Not sure what you mean. We're DATING and he's skinny like me. Even though we're both in our 40's...

Joseph paused for a second. Wasn't Carlit- Carl in his 20's and skinny? but then he "remembered" the last pic his boyfriend sent him.

"Get ready to some farm work for my bonita~ What do you think?"

Wait... Bonita? Carl- No... Carlito would never call Joseph that. Not to mention his boyfriend never looked like that! Or... did he? Joseph scrambled through his memories and every memory he had of Carlito was him as jacked af Mexican man. Guess he forgot how lucky he was. The bonita bothered him but he just ignored it for now.

Joseph: Sorry nvm yea he is all that. We're dating though so we're not just "bros".

G3NI3: nah man, you seem like bros to me. Don't you remember he married Maria and got like 2 kids.

Maria??? who is- Oh right. Maria is Carlito's "Bonita" He rants about her all the time to you at your weekly bar hangouts. Joseph remembers how his two kids Mateo and Juanita would call him Uncle Joseph! Ah he loves those little rascals. Wait.. something felt off to Joseph.

Joseph: How do you know all this? Isn't this our first session?

G3NI3: What are you talking about dude? This is like our 20th one together

"W-What???" Joseph could not believe what G3NI3 was saying. This was definitely his first using the hotline. Joseph could prove it he just has to scroll up a bit and- Huh?

To Joseph's amazement, G3NI3 was right they've been talking for months. And what do you know they bring up everything about Carlito too. Guess that's that mystery solved.

Joseph: Oh man, you're right guess my age is starting to show...

G3NI3: Don't count yourself out yet old man. You have a kid to care for!

Joseph: Kid??? You must be joking I'm single and could never get a kid! I'm gay!

G3NI3: Oh come on don't be like that just cause you had a divorce with Kate doesn't mean you gotta deny being straight as an arrow or deny that kid you helped make! Joseph: Okay now you're crazy! No way I got married to a LADY. I was never into them!!

G3NI3: No need to get worked up big guy. Your son is following in your footsteps as a bodybuilder! Bodybuilder???? What kind of insanity is G3NI3 spewing now! Joseph was skinny as stick. Always has been.

Joseph: You must think I'm crazy if you want to believe I'm anything but a stick! It's a miracle Carlito even wants to hang out with a single skinny guy like me!

G3NI3: Oh don't be so shy! I know you love flexing in front of Carlito to show how you can attract the ladies! Your libido is off the charts bro.

Joseph had enough of this. He'd crush his phone with his big strong hands if he didn't have the money to replace it.

Joseph: Now listen here! I know I love a good flexing or two but I wouldn't say I have a high libido! Besides... I'm not manly enough I don't got a beard or any cool tattoos...

G3NI3: Come on, Josef! You're the manliest they come! With a luscious ginger beard and a tattoo of a cross between your tits AND one on your left arm you're peak masculinity! And you even married a WOMAN. Sure it didn't last but it's something!

Josef: You really think so? Aw shucks. Maybe if I was a faggot we could've dated... as if! The only thing I love more than muscles is a good looking women to take home and fuck silly.

G3NI3: Focus Josef. Use that bald head of yours for once and think! You came here because you didn't think Carlito doesn't want to hang out with you right?

Josef: Yes... we might've been bros since middle school but idk ever since me and the divorce with Kate it just doesn't feel like the same...

G3NI3: Puh-lease. You guys are two peas in a bro-pod. Do you really think Carlito would send you this if you weren't bros for life?

Josef: Ah I remember that! Carlito made those fags think they had a chance with him when he and Maria been fuckin' for years! Got a good laugh out of that!

Carlito: Exactly! Who would send that to a straight friend otherwise!

Josef: You're right... What did I have to worry about? Me and Carlito? We're buds for life!

Just then a knock came at the door.

"Dad! Carlito's here!" "Coming, Son!"

Josef: Welp, looks like Carlito's here. Thanks for the talk G3NI3. Always appreciate ya!

G3NI3: No problem! and remember... you asked for this

Josef: W-Wha?

G3NI3: Nothing! Bye

"And to think that's my therapist... Anyways gotta get ready for my bro!" Josef got up from his seat and left his bedroom stationed at the 2nd floor of his house. Gotta thank Kate for that child support money. But before he could enter the hallway...

"Son! I told you no underwear and caps in the house! Put some damn clothes on!"

Sorry pa, I just loveee my muscles. Do you mind if a girl comes over tonight? I think it'll work this time!"

"'Course Son. The Women will love ya! You get it from your old man!" Josef flexes to make his point clear.

"Thanks dad!" Josef's son flexes back before getting ready for his date.

"How did I get lucky enough to get a son like that?" Josef chuckled. He might not got much but at least he has son and his bro Carlito.

"Oh right! Carlito!" Josef almost forgot to get ready so he grabbed a fresh set of clothes and went to go change in the bathroom.

Before he changed Josef did one quick flex in the mirror.

"G3NI3 wasn't kidding. That libido of mine is ready to go!" Josef was proud of his physique. But now's not the time for that he has to go meet his bro.

Josef adorned his massive figure with a tank top saying "BEAST" and some killer designer shades he was ready to finally answer that door. With a strong force Josef opened the door to find the man himself, Carlito.

"Hola amigo. Have you seen that faggot Josef anywhere? Haha!"

"Oh come on Carlito, you know I'm as straight as an arrow!" Josef said back in a playful tone.

"Would you change your mind if I were to... do this?" Carlito took his shirt and removed his shades and did a flex right in front of Josef.

"...."

"..."

"..." "GAHAHAHA" The two large man laughed in unison.

"Nah bro, you're my bro forever and always." Josef smiled.

"As always mi amigo, now let's rapido we're gonna be late for our gym sess!" Carlito put his shirt and shades back on and headed for his luxury car.

As for Josef he didn't have a car as cool as Carlito but had a car from the 2000's and it was like his second child but don't tell Josef's son that. But before he got in his car Josef took a moment to feel his masculinity in the car window's reflection.

"I look damn fine."

And So Josef and Carlito went to have grand old brotime together. Working out together like true bros, hanging out at the bar like true bros, and of course trying to get Josef with a woman for the 30th time this month. You'd think they were a couple but nah they're both straight as arrows no doubt about that. Josef lived a happy life despite his circumstances and that meant more time to flex flex FLEX!

Safe to say he was a real... daddy. He's even got the kid to show for it.

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep 3 Review

I finally finished the episode! I'll give a more generic opinion about it here and put all the spoilers below the cut!

I think it was really nice, I didn't check how many APs I used but I saw someone else mention that it's around 1200 APs which I think is fair! I was scared about it at first because I'm not sure if I'm the only one who noticed that, ususally, the first episodes are either shorted/cheaper and that new episodes that come out are much more expensive... I hope that won't happen!

The outfits are pretty cute, also I noticed that if you want to, you can unlock the other outfit you missed for 150 hearts! It's just to unlock it in the shop without having to replay the episode, you still have to purchase each piece separately but I think it's alright since the prices are really cheap!!

I don't really know what else to add and still be spoiler free, so now it's time for spoilers! you've been warned!

I'm so so happy with how they get Candy to react everytime... I love that she changes expressions accordingly and it's much more fun!! Also I think I screenshotted(?) almost all of Jason's scenes,, I'm sorry I'm just so down bad I kept giggling everytime he said anything,, I think that's why it took me a while to finish the episode lol...

Petronilla you're so real for that... Me too... (he awakens the goblin inside me...)

Honestly I really think that we should keep this in mind everytime he opens his mouth because it's actually so true... Also how are you so obsessed... Keep it going...

He wants to kiss her so bad I just know it... He's like that one kid that bullies you just because he's into you and doesn't know how to behave

"Little kitten"

...

I'm so done with this guy he's so shameless and I love him for that,,

The illustration is very pretty! He's so handsome why can't he just do a backflip off of Goldreamz's roof (He's so pretty sometimes it p*sses me off lmao)

I think I'll try to edit this one soon too!

I think it's pretty funny that she calls him that, yeah I can see how he's a loser... (I be calling him things just cause he's pretty and annoying I swear)

She's so... I'm so gay leave me alone,,,,,

ALSO ISTG she's going to be the end of me and my wallet, I can't help but always buy both her's and Jason's special scenes (I still haven't understood if you can get the illu's without buying the scenes... help,,) and on top of that of course I'll say that I'm going for Jason's route and then buy Amanda's illus because I can't live without it,, Beemoov let me be poly for once, Petronilla has two hands for a reason!! Either let us (Me and 'Nilla) have the same outfits for both Amanda and Jason so that I won't have to spend 350 extra gems or idk;;-;

The doomed yuri... The forbidden yuri... Petronilla you're so gay... Idk I think I can hear "I wanna be your girlfriend" by girl In red from miles away... We're so over ;A;

If I get the time I think I'll try to edit this one as well!! So so pretty!

I also wanted to mention this... Man he's just like me this guy is autistic as F**K I'm telling y'all... I relate to that so much, especially the fact that he apparently seems to be thinking in percentages as well (By that I mean that at least I tend to make my decisions based on calculations and such... That's why I like to joke about having a computer for brains lol)

Looks like Beemoov's writers did their homework on this guy cause if he's actually autistic-coded I think they did a great job! Autism is a spectrum in the end but I really resonate with how they're potraying it with Thomas! Kudos!

Last but not least... Jason's text after finishing the episode... I'm shipping Jason and Petronilla so hard,,,,,, I love the blue&pink contrast, they were made for each other your honor... If we add Amanda they can be the Bisexual flag together...

[blushblushbear]

Some Natsu Headcanons

Been thinking a bit about Natsu, and this I guess also counts as roughly my version of Natsu

still have a drawing of him sitting unfinished on my computer and while I wanted to not post about this until I had a pic to go along with it, if I wait for me to get off my ass and draw we will all be waiting forever rip

BUT ANYWAYS

Younger than Fuyu but older than Haru

hey were all under the curse for 200 years (and I fully believe they stopped aging/growing while under the curse), which means Fuyu was 885, Haru was 259 and Aki was 19--- I think this leaves Natsu somewhere in his 600's-- maybe 669 cause eyyy ;3

also meaning he had 6/7 tails (another headcanon but I believe each 100 years they get a tail unless they somehow earn a tail via growing their powers hence why Fuyu got to have nine)

Natsu extremely bishonen

he's one of those bishis that looks like he's mad gay

except he's not

but he's def not straight either

actually p sexual-- p sensual

just as big of a flirt as Haru

not in the same way, he likes a little more gentler, softer, more teasing

very sly and playful

he was also mad childish

in a more calm and collected way than Aki but def childish all the same

also a bit petty

honestly him and Fuyu were a lot alike that way

that's why they either go on like gang busters or were at each others throats

there was no in between

frankly they liked being hauty and petty together

would have tea and talk so much shit

but Natsu was WAYYYY more laid back

but he was also secretly way more serious and cut throat than his sly little fox persona would lead you to believe

honestly the only one who ever saw that was Fuyu

Fuyu both deeply admired him and was also very afraid of him

Natsu was very childish after all

who knows how far he'd go to get his way

while all the kitsune took part in the clan war and ultimately made it happen

Fuyu has always suspected Natsu may have fanned some flames and pulled some strings to help it along

all the same, everyone's actions were their own decision

Natsu like Fuyu also had a love of poetry

just generally the picture of a beautiful sensual fox boy here to make you swoon and also maybe laugh a little

was really good at charming people

charmed all the other kitsune frankly

even if they didn't always trust him

well-- Aki did, but that's cause Aki didn't know any better

calls the player Mochi

'My sweet little Mochi'

'There you are my little Mochi'

could def see this dude going yandere not even as an au style version lol

he really was that dude that acted like an innocent child but was also plotting your murder just in case ya know

liked to pit people against each other cause he thought it was funny

like I said-- PETTY. CHILDISH.

was very into ink painting

but also very into lounging around

a smooth talker, a charmer, a deceiver, a fox through and through

also if he did a phone fling he'd use the fuck out of emoticons/kaomoji (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

frankly want him to come back as a ghost but he texts you first

also doesn't seem to hold a grunge about being killed

(OR DOES HE???)

lol nah ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

unless.... ( •̀ - •́ )

[fuckentoastybitch]

Phone Call

A NakedToaster x reader drabble. GN reader but reader's server username is defaulted to LovelyLola.

This is my first fic here. I wouldn't call myself a writer per se, I haven't written in a long time and tbh I don't brush up my skills often so my writings are usually very simple, the same could be said about this one but I think it's nice enough

"I don't mind at all. Take your time."

Bloombot thanked you and you left the call, leaving her with Toasty to discuss their matters in private. You were being truthful that you didn't mind leaving them. Needing some time to process your thoughts, Toasty's love declaration from a moment ago was still ringing in your head.

"Fuck it, I love you."

They really said it, holy shit.

You look down and remembered the pink note in your hand where you had hastily scribble down his phone number, but you realized the note is now folded in a few places.

Fuck, you must've crumpled it in your excitement when you asked Toasty for their name.

Before Bloombot interrupted, that is.

God, you're such a lovesick dork. Your phone was right there next to the monitor and yet you chose to grab a PINK NOTE out of all things and wrote down the number like some swooning high schooler. A grin formed at your lips regardless as you read the number in your head again and again. You're so smitten it's ridiculous.

You wondered about Toaster's real name once again when a familiar sound effect rang from your computer and you look up to see xyx had messaged the general channel. The server is back up! Everyone flooded the channel with hellos, clearly happy to see each other again. You know you are too. It's almost unbelievable you somehow had managed to persuade a bot to not bring and end to your one source of happiness in this moment.

If Bloombot had really shut down the server…

Ugh, you don't even want to think about it. Especially not right after you and Toasty had just being honest about your feelings. You found such a special person in such a short amount of time but you cared for him too much to lose them in the matter of seconds.

The #juicy-gamers channel lit up and you already knew it was Toasty.

Click

NakedToaster: I just want to tell you again

i love you

a lot

FUCK, they're so affectionate now?! How the hell will you be able to handle this?

NakedToaster: text me tomorrow?

Oh, no. Bloombot's shut down yesterday gave you too much of a fright. You decided you need to call him now.

LovelyLola: how about i call you?

NakedToaster: now?

LovelyLola: no toasty, next year

jk lol

yes now

please, yesterday scared me

i want to hear you again

NakedToaster: fsjgdjdfh

fuck

ff

okau

okay

xyx: disgustang

LovelyLola: LMAO

NakedToaster: LMAO

xyx: get out of my christian server NOW

Your palms were a little sweaty mom's spaghetti so you wipe them down on your pants before dialing his number. The first ring didn't even finish before they picked up. Someone's eager.

Not that you can blame them.

"Hel- oh fuck-"

You hear a thud on the other end followed by the sound of someone clambering under what you assumed to be his chair, a string of curses tailing their noises.

Yep. You really love them.

"Sorry, my hand was uh…"

"Mhm?" You hum innocently, just to tease him a little.

"The.. the phone slipped, " an awkward chuckle buzzes through your speaker.

"I heard."

"Shut up," his voice was exasperated but affectionate. "Fuck, is this really how we're starting our first phone call?" You both laughed.

"Seems like it."

"Hm. I thought a it'd be kinda similar to the vc but this is… different. I mean, in a nice way!" he fumbled. "It feels more personal."

"Yeah."

A moment of silence passes you both, but the silence is comforting. It feels almost as if they're really there with you. God, you want them to be there with you.

"Anyways," you hear him taking a breath. "Hi."

You smile.

"Hi, Toasty."

[deceasedream69]

Maeve or...

Summary: Spencer is forced to choose between two girls in a very dangerous way.

Warnings: mentions of drugs, kidnapping and cursing.

A/n: I've seen this episode once, and I'm too lazy to watch it again, so I'm making everything up lol. And also, this one is LONG, so enjoy <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spencer's pov

- "Blake, can I talk to you?

She seemed very confused, but she was always helpful, that's why I didn't doubt a second to ask for her help.

- "sure", she said following me to a more private place. "tell me what's the problem, any problem choosing between a stranger you barely know and a cute fellow coworker who you're always staring at?"

- "no, what? no", I didn't stare at her, she just was my best friend, but I wasn't so sure about requesting her help about this. "I keep calling Maeve, but she won't answer"

- "Oh, Reid, you can't make a girl answer you phone calls"

- "rejection doesn't bother me", I stared at the floor and then looked at Blake again. "She had a stalker, and it's not like she stopped answering me over a fight or anything like that, she just... stopped. So I'm... worried"

- "do you have any evidence about her actually being in danger?"

I just shook my head. Maybe I should let y/n know about the situation too. She already knew about Maeve and I, didn't seem so excited when I told her, who wouldn't be worried when their bestfriend falls in love with a girl who has a stalker. 

- "If you don't have any evidence, we can't drag the team into this one"

I ran my hand through my hair, I didn't even know what to do at this point. I couldn't go to her house because I didn't have her address, and she wasn't answering the phone at all. 

- "hey, pretty boy. Have you seen y/n?"

I shook my head, I didn't noticed her absence throughout the day.

- "That's weird, I'll go ask García"

It was really weird, she'd text me if she was sick or there was any problem. I grabbed my phone annd called her, but also, no answer. 

I already lost my two bestfriends... one for now, and I didn't even noticed when. My mind started to drown in the thoughts of what could've happened to both, specially to Maeve, considering she had a stalker and y/n didn't. 

--

- "Meeting in five", Hotch said while he passed through our desks to the meeting office. I sighed, finished what I was doing in my computer and went to the office. 

Sitting down right in front of the screen, I grabbed my phone while the rest of the team arrived. 

*in the chat*

- hey, are you okay?

I noticed you didn't come to work but you also didn't tell me anything about not coming.

I just want to make sure you're okay.

*off the chat*

I turned my phone off and put it in my pocket. I have a bad feeling about y/n not coming to work without a word. 

- "Ok, so, today we don't have a pretty case", García started the metting, her eyes and nose were red so that couldn't be a good sign. "yesterday, around 10 pm someone broke into the house of the agent y/n y/l/n. It's clear because the apartment was a mess"

- "she put up a fight", Derek said worried. 

- "is there any trace of blood?", Rossi asked. 

- "no, thankfully not"

- "that's good, any cameras around her building?", JJ opened her file. 

- "they were covered, whoever took y/n is a pro but I know we're going to find her", García covered her mouth. Y/n and García were inseparable, always going out together and messing around with each other. It was normal she was so worried for her, and so was I.

- "this happened almost 10 hours ago, we need to act quickly, we don't have much time", Hotch stood up and left. 

Our job was know to connect every bit of evidence we had to make everything make sense in order to catch the Unsub. 

We were sitting around the table, a few boards filled with evidence in front of us. 

- "there was a fight but no blood, not even from the attacker?", Rossi started.

- "maybe she was trying to just get away from him, not actually hurt him", Emily replied.

I couldn't even think of something to say, it's like my mind was empty. 

- "any thoughts, Reid?"

I checked the file in front of me and then the board.

- "The attacker didn't take anything valueble like money, jewelry or stuff like that"

- "he wanted her", Blake manteined eye contact with me, which send shivers down my spine. I cleared my thoat and continued. 

- "But this wasn't an attack against the whole team, just her. There are no messages, no trying to get to us from any personal things or memories, he just wanted her..."

I was wrong, and I noticed that after I finished my statement. Checking at the scene pictures, right on her nightstand was an earring, and just one. The problem is, that earring didn't belong to y/n, I gave those earrings as a gift... to Maeve. 

They were porpusedly placed there, the whole apartment was trash but the nightstand was neat, with only that earring on it. 

I gulped and continued to look for any more evidence like that one. Doubting in my head if I should tell the team about Maeve. 

- "did you notice anything strange?", JJ asked me. 

- "um.. not really, just... If you look at the whole apartment, it's a mess, right, but look at the nightstand beside her bed"

- "there's an earring"

- "yeah, but it's just one, maybe she was taking them off when the Unsub attacked"

- "no, she wasn't, those earrings don't belong to her"

The whole team was looking at me, now there was no turning back, I had to explain what was on my mind. 

- "how do you know that?", Derek furrowed his eyebrows. 

- "Maeve Donovan"

The whole team looked even more confused, even García who insisted on being on call the whole time to not miss anything from the investigation was probably confused on the other side of the line. 

- "she... she is a friend of mine, and I know I said it looked like the Insub's intentios wasn't to link y/n's kidnapping with us, but that earring that's on her nightstand it's not hers, I gave them to Maeve Donovan as a present on her birthday"

- "tell us everything we need to know", Hotch appeared at the door. 

- 

After I explained everything the team was determined to interrogate every bit of information about the stalker they could. 

- "I already told you, I don't know. Maeve and I just to hang out in our own houses to avoid the stalker's presence"

- "anything unusual you noticed when the doors were open. Anyone who looked like he was staring at you, someone who appeared to always be there?"

I shook my head, I tried to remember everything I could, but I never really noticed that. 

- "Sir", García entered the room. "You need to see this"

There was an address sent to García from an unknown e-mail.

- "how do we know if this is related with y/n and..."

- "Maeve"

- "I wasn't sure either, but after I closed the address there was this link so I clicked on it and... you need to see"

García clicked on the link again. There was a person in a black hoodie with a black mask. The person was covering the entire frame with their face. But after a few seconds the moved and right behind the we could see y/n and Maeve tied to chairs, one next to the other. 

- "no, please, just let us go"

- "what a stupid ass request" Y/n looked right at the camera. "you're recording? get my best angle, please", she said throwing her head back. 

- "how can you be so calmed?!"

- "we're going to either die or be saved, he's not going to let us go just because you cry about it. Take it like a champ"

The person then re appeared on the video holding a sign that read: "hope I can give her the full experience". Then they dropped that one, showing another one that read: "you have 1 hour to arrive at the address". 

The Unsub proceeded to walk back, near the girls. Holding a needle in their hand. 

- "what's that, darling?", y/n asked worried. 

The first and only time the Unsub spoke during the whole video. 

- "dialudid".

I opened my eyes even more, in fear. The Unsub was a girl, it was obvious from her voice and the fact that y/n called her "darling". But also, dialudid, how did she know  about that? 

- "what if it's a trap?"

- "We can't take any chances of not going and that it being too late", Hotch left the room. 

We all got ready with our guns and vests. 

- 

We entered quietly, holding our guns on our hands, ready for anything bad. Inside there was another door, which had a note on it. 

"only doctor reid, no guns"

- "you can't go there all alone, kid, specially unarmed"

- "if we don't follow the rules, they might die", Emily told Derek. We all turned to look at Hotch. 

- "Go in, if you're not out in 4 minutes, we're coming in"

I nodded and entered the room after giving my gun to Hotch. The door closing itself behind me. 

- "it's nice meeting you again, Doctor Spencer Reid", the girl in the hoodie started. 

- "Again? I don't know you"

Offended, she took her hoodie off, revealing her face, and as I said, I didn't know her. 

I shook my head. Which upset her. 

- "You don't remember me?! I was your top student. Always trying to shine so precious little professor Reid would notice me. My classmates called me crazy when I told them that we were going to get married, in a beautiful beach, just us because our families wouldn't approve"

- "you're doing this because me, as a teacher, wasn't interested in you, a student? that's not something I can do..."

- "you were supposed to break the rules for me! you would break them for her", she said pointing her knife at y/n. She seemed so out of it, probably still under the influence of the dialudid. "or her", she said pointing at Maeve. 

- "how would I break the rules for Maeve?"

- "she was one of your students! you didn't even notice?"

I actually didn't. I knew her face looked familiar, but she didn't really attend my class. 

- "now you can't make any excuses, Doctor"

Everytime she called me doctor something cold ran through my spine. 

- "So, here are the rules. IF you really love them, which one do you love the most?"

- "what?"

- "your student, who you say you can't date, or your coworker who you can't date either but would make an exception for, I know you would!"

- "Kill me instead"

- "what?"

- "if you actually want to kill someone, kill me"

- "I'm not killing you, you're too pretty to die. Look, it's either her with a slash through her neck or..." She walked towards y/n, pointing at a button that she could press with her foot. "I give her a massive dose of dialudid, a mortal one... choose wisely, Doctor Reid"

- "I'm not going to choose. I care about them both, so I'm not playing your little game"

-"I can kill both in a matter of seconds, Doctor, then you'll have nobody, just me. You know what, that sounds better"

- "NO!"

With her foot she pressed the button on the floor. Putting her knife on Maeve's throat, a gunshot behind me. 

The Unsub fell to the ground, the knife away from her hand now, Maeve safe. 

- "No! y/n", I take the needle of her arm before the whole dose will get to her. "hey, look at me, hey, y/n?"

I could notice her difficulty to breath and even stay sitted. I untied her while calling for help. 

- "what happened?"

- "she received a big dose of drugs"

- "the paramedics are coming up"

 I was relieved knowing the paramedics were already in the builing and that I got to stop the needle from giving her a big dose. I held her in my arms while we waited. 

- "be happy with her", Maeve said before leaving. I was completely confused, she was the one who needed more help now, that's why-

- "sir, we need you to give us access to help her?"

- "sure". I placed her head softly on the floor, the paramedics quickly surrounding her. 

-

A/n: Should I make a part 2?

[rocketbirdie]

MASSIVE dump of thoughts about Rebirth. Obvious major spoiler warning for pretty much every story beat aside from side quests. That goes for the compilation as a whole.

Think of this as a collection of what would otherwise be literally hundreds of separate obnoxious text posts. Half-review, half liveblogging. Genuine praises and criticisms interspersed with unhinged nonsense. This post is so long it's making my computer lag, so make of that what you will.

To keep it organized and make it easier to find specific moments, this is split up chapter by chapter. I cover the Zack/Biggs stuff in a separate section just before the final chapter, and then follow up with some miscellaneous thoughts.

I'm not of hardcore OG FFVII faith. I love the original, and I view it as separate from Remake/Rebirth, so I embrace most of the major changes. This is generally a very positive review, aside from a few nuisances *cough cough WHISPERS cough* and only one genuinely upsetting letdown. Rebirth is more than I could ever have asked for, and I can't wait to spend the next 4+ years obsessively gushing about it. And now, without further ado...!

Chapter 1: Fall of a Hero (The Nibelheim Incident)

NAILED it.

Love seeing Cloud's teenage squishiness scrambled together with the Zack mannerisms. Restless as a little puppy! Body language, facial expressions, etc. I wonder if they animated a lot of it with Zack's model first, and then replaced it with Cloud? Modders are gonna have a field day with this when the PC version drops.

Sephiroth really was just Some Guy, huh? It's very refreshing to see him acting fully human for once. Helps sell the catastrophic mental shitshow that ensues.

Horfin' down those sandwiches Strife style

"You went into my room?" "I did..." LMAOOO THE SHAME IN HIS VOICE. Cody Christian doing god's work voicing this sopping wet pathetic mess of a man

Zangan manhandling Cloud like that was NOT on my Rebirth bingo card.

The bridge collapse scene is beautifully expanded upon. Such a delicious moment if you know the real story. RIP Ramirez. o7

There is NO fucking way Sephiroth just... stood there unfazed by waist high rushing water. Y'all have any idea how dangerous just ankle-deep water is at those speeds? At least the generous use of artistic license in physics is established very early on.

Tifa demonstrating incredible self restraint by choosing not to strangle Zack to death at the mako spring. I would have walloped his cocky ass lol

"Such a puppy." We're establishing the homoerotic tension right away as well, thank god.

oooOOOouhh the way you can pinpoint the precise moment that Sephiroth starts to lose control at the reactor. The way he walks up those stairs.......

Mwahaha-ing over the visual parallels. Raising his hand to the candle flame... Jenova's face flickering over his own... wow. Every shot, every angle is carefully chosen. Cinematography at it's finest.

OG painted a picture of "no survivors," so it surprised me how many people seemed to have escaped from Nibelheim. Although, it's not certain what their ultimate fate was. I imagine they did it this way to show that the incident impacted far more people than just Cloud and Tifa. Makes sense, considering "sheer scale of suffering" is a recurring theme throughout the Re-trilogy so far.

Sephiroth's mass slaughter is bone chilling. The music, the tension, the iconic shot of the flames framing his figure. Goddamn. And then there's the poor trooper, reaching out for his mom.........

"Why didn't they just shoot him?? They had him surrounded!!" 1, Fear doesn't give a damn about rationality. 2, It's SEPHIROTH. They were almost certainly correct in assuming that their dinky little hunting rifles weren't gonna do jack shit.

Catch me giggling over the most mundane shit. LOVE the detail of the sword tip clanking on the metal floor as Tifa drags it. I'm obsessed with lovingly crafted, nearly unnoticeable sound design like that.

"Mother, they have come again." THANK FUCK they kept this line. I don't even know why, it just stuck with me so hard from OG.

Not sure why people are cranky that the flashback cuts off. It ends at the exact same point as in OG. That's the point, it's supposed to be frustrating.

Seeing an unfathomable number of dumbass comments going "huh??? why did cloud tell the story all wrong??? that's not what happened!!" Dear Lord Please Give Me The Strength

AERTI!!!!!!! hell yeah

Tifa being proactive instead of stewing in confusion!! Love that for her. But damn it didn't go down well, huh. "I was so happy to see you again, but maybe I shouldn't have been." BIG OOOOOF

OUCH. Cloud. At least take off the pauldron if you're gonna sleep on that side LOL

Chapter 2: A New Journey Begins (Kalm and The Grasslands)

Very interesting news broadcast ya got goin' on there, Shinra...

Kalm is so so so so pretty. Feels like an actual full sized city now! Wish we could have seen more of it at night, like in the OG.

Broden!! I like him. I want the best for him. I know he's fucked. But really, it's cool to see more SOLDIER characters. We get to see Cloud's uh-oh brain static moments from the outside perspective, and boy howdy, it ain't pretty.

Broden says he's "...on your side. Got a contact at HQ." Meanwhile, my delusional ass: CONTACT? KUNSEL? IS IT KUNSEL? DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE NAMED KUNSEL?

Mentioned it in a different post— I suspected they changed the arrangement of Midgar's sectors. Sure enough, it's confirmed by looking at Rebirth's world map. Is this a meta fate-has-been-altered thing, or is it just a curious retcon? Maybe a bit of both?

HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh my god, her name is CHLOE????????? "Chole" was a typo this whole fucking time???? I can't handle this

NOT CHOCOBO BILL BLINDSIDING US WITH THE CLOUD GETTING DOUBLE PENETRATED IN A NASTY SWAMP SHACK IMPLICATIONS???? HELLO?????????

My sweet son Chadley has returned from the time void.

Ok serious talk. Wtf is up with the audio mixing. Someone gave the thumbs up for this production?! The default music volume is WAY too loud and overpowers voice lines. Doesn't help that Remake's npc dialogue deluge in crowded areas hasn't been addressed at all. C'mon people, you had years to fix this shit. It's a shame too, because I would love to hear all of the beautiful music and talented voice acting, just... separately, please.

The Soggy Strife Agenda is off to a great start!

I know Midgar Zolom was a blind idiot translation, but I dunno man. Midgardsormr just doesn't do it for me. Zolom sweetie come home :(

FUCKING. FUCK. WHERE'S THE LINE. FUCK!!! Apparently Sephiroth Did Not Do This. Goddammit. Fucking blasphemy. Genuinely gutted that they didn't include that line. Imagine if they had pulled that shit with Me Gongaga. Unacceptable.

Chapter 3: Deeper into Darkness (Mythril Mines)

"Enough for her Standard Course twice, right?" keep it up Aerith you're doing amazing :)

Ah, the opening area of the mines has been converted into a museum. No wonder people are allowed to just waltz right on in.

ELENA!! Oooooh I love her voice!! She's got that young overconfident sass. Fits her perfectly. She's got me sweating bullets seeing her kick a grenade around like a soccer ball though YIKES

Those Boulders Are Not Made Of Solid Rock

Not much else to say about the mines. Love when the original version of the music kicked in. Barret and Red's dynamic is so good!

Chapter 4: Dawn of a New Era (Junon)

We just, uh, waiting for the bus there, folks? OH SHIT sorry about the bird of prey thing man, that sucks. Hope you feel better soon

Contrary to maybe popular opinion, but I actually love it when you know exactly what a character is going to say or do next. It means the writers have done a great job at getting that character across. Predictable does not always equal bad; tropes exist for a reason after all.

Under Junon. mwah <3

Priscilla!! Omg she's so cute and annoying. Just how I remember.

Soggy Strife Episode 2. This time featuring an off-putting amount of romantic tension between Cloud And That Dolphin

Lowkey disappointed that they cut the uncomfortably long CPR minigame. Gamers nowadays have no idea how good they have it. Back in my day, we had to give mouth-to-mouth for 5 minutes straight in deafening silence.

YUFFIE!!!!!! Oh my god the leakers weren't exaggerating about the naruto run

Yeah ok just. gonna do some good night crunches. Very. Uh. Normal of you, Cloud Strife. God I love this weirdo

ROCHEEEEE My Boyfriend Has Returned

Aerith and Priscilla doing the arm bump thing............ yeah...........

Yeah you work those tanker controls gay boy. I was really expecting a jumpscare as the tanker lifted up. Would have actually shrieked if Sephiroth was just like "sup lol"

WOW the sister ray!!! Honestly the first moment that made me go "DAMN this is Final Fantasy alright!" What a view.

Glad they kept Junon's silly amount of elevators.

Oh hi Glenn

So Aerith wants to know if there are any good restaurants in Junon. Well, maybe if this guy hadn't been busy barfing in an alleyway....

Gee Tifa and Aerith, it's a good thing you guys practiced your highly choreographed military drill, just in case you ever had to pretend to be a trooper during an inaugural parade. Gotta be prepared for even the most unlikely scenarios! (As a writer, I know how it is with suspension of disbelief. But it's still kinda doofy lol)

That being said, I'd let the commander have her way with me

THE MUSIC

Tee hee omg it's so cute to see Cloud in his element! Look at that boy go. He's so into it. I like hearing all of the Seventh Infantry's interactions, too. Really hammers it in that they're all just normal people with their own worries and hopes.

Oopsie daisy. I am not immune to Shinra Propaganda. Huh. Well done, writers.

THE GLABRESCENT!! EXCLUSIVE CLUB FOR BALD PEOPLE

Awww look at all the 1/35 soldiers! Man. This whole chapter is just one huge love letter to the OG. So much nostalgia, plus so much new exciting stuff. God I could go on and on

This Just In, Entire Junon Nursing Home Full Of Elderly People Dies Of A Heart Attack After Rufus Shinra Decides To Fire The Fucking Cannon

Roche please sign my forehead

Uh oh. Yuffie

Yeah Ok don't mind me, just a SOLDIER 1st Class, protecting these little infantrymen with my life. No parallels to be found here, folks

GENUINELY HONEST TO GOD I AM SO SORRY FOR SLICING YOUR BABY ANGEL IN HALF LIKE THAT ROCHE PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Cloud say you're sorry Right Fucking Now.

Oh good no hard feelings. Well. Actually. Uh

Chapter 5: Blood in the Water (Shinra-8/Ship to Costa)

Oh to be a girl hiding away in a cargo hold with another girl.......

Little bit of Traces of Two Pasts! So Aerith told Tifa about Faz, the weird guy that was a little bit too nice to Ifalna. Apparently Aerith is still shaken up by that. Don't blame her.

Ok. I've been avoiding the topic of Queen's Blood, because frankly, my opinion on it is completely unfounded and irrational. I fucking hate card games in video games that are not supposed to be solely about card games. I can't help it. I'm here for the pretty people rpg and the gut-wrenching t4t heartbreak, not for the Magic the Gathering subplot. Any time this game so much as breathes the name Queen's Blood in my direction, I feel something visceral welling up inside of me. So as you can imagine, The Chapter Where You Play Queen's Blood is not my personal favorite.

But I get it! It's not like there was much to do here in the OG. I like that they went out of their way to flesh the ship out and give it more to remember. And for people who like Queen's Blood, I'm happy for them!!

Silly boy humming the victory fanfare I love himmmm

*wiggles*

Gotta get me one of them bigass cardboard cutout palm trees to put on display inside of my grungy metal hallway. Wow what a vibe

DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD DEMAND THE MANAGER, RED

THE MOONWALK SJHSYAFDFKKFFJF oh mny fuckijngh god the terrified kid crying his eyes out LMAOOOOO

Dang It! I wanted to see what Cloud looks like swaddled up in that hammock. Why do you deny me that which I desire. Screw your fade to black.

Good to know Hojo is just as disgusting and disturbing as he should be! Yayyyyy :(

"Holy shit..." YUFFIE SAME????? TITOV BOUTTA BLOW SOME TITS OFF????

YEEEHAAWWWW time for another absolute fucking banger of a Jenova remix!!!! I cannot praise the soundtrack enough.

Chapter 6: Fool's Paradise (Costa del Sol)

Obligatory beach episode

Johnny!!!!! My favorite dramatic idiot with a heart of gold! It's ok babygirl I love your seasmell hotel. I'll stay there anytime.

Cloud acting like that lei is strangling him. Sameeee dude same but no really. This place sucks. Too many people trying to force this poor guy to have fun against his will.

If I have to hear "hang loose" one more time, there will be bloodshed.

I do not trust that man to ride safely and sanely on that wheelie. He can't even walk on his own two feet without endangering every physics object in the vicinity.

Empty materia moment actually made me gasp out loud

AERTI DATE AERTI DATE AERTI DATE AERTI DATE

OUTFIT REVIEW TIME

Cloud's Tits Out: An unusual sight. I feel like he should be smooth under there like Link BOTW. He looks a little too robust for someone who's got Big Oil And Brain Worms In There and hasn't slept in weeks. I appreciate the commitment to making him pale as paper and flat as a board. No top surgery scars lose points big time. I'm neutral about the toes. 4/10

Cloud's Business Casual: Immaculate. Tastefully hideous. That blue is NOT your color, girl. Chocobo imagery is always a plus. Absolutely mystified by the untied capris + 3/4 sleeve scoop neck combo. Pretty sure he's not wearing any socks with those tennis shoes. Sneakers in the sand is a helluva sensory experience for an autistic guy like him, I deeply respect it. 9/10.

Tifa's Frilly Miniskirt: Cute and confident. Split between it being utterly out of character for her, or 1000% perfect for her. The white and purple is a great color combo. Slightly concerned about the structural integrity of the neck strap. Uncooperative hairstyle is understandable but kills the vibe a bit. Jealous of the sandals. 8/10

Tifa's Tie Front: DAMN. Stripes with the collar, black jean shorts, hell yeah. The giant belt buckle is just asking for a nasty burn mark, though. Whatever. She's rockin' it. I dunno man, I'm at a loss for words, you just gotta see it to believe it. 10/10.

Aerith's Keepin' It Simple: Tried and true. Pink always works in her favor. Love the little matching flowers in her hair. The wrap around wallet chain is a welcome sprinkle of weirdness. Otherwise masterfully boring; it suits her city-slickin' down-to-earth attitude. 9/10

Aerith's Floral Cover Up: Classy. Got that Final Fantasy princess look with the ruffled sleeves and the push-up cut. The long skirt is nothing short of perfection. Lovestruck by the splash of lime green with the leaf pattern. Can't imagine how annoying those shin-high sandal straps might be though, that's gonna leave a mark. 9/10

Barret's Bear Wearing A Marshmallow: Pillsbury Dough Man at his finest. Faithful to the original, exquisite in 4K HD. Hoist hook arm adds that extra sailor flair, sealing the look. He's having fun with it, and that's what matters most. 10/10!

Ok back to reality

uh oh.

Yup, somehow they managed to make Hojo even more nauseating than ever before. Good. The more we hate him, the worse it'll sting when he keeps dodging his comeuppance. Hohohohoho.... That's Good Writing, Babie! Twist that knife. Keep us ravenously thirsty for revenge!!

Seen a lot of complaints about the women that accompany Hojo to the beach and shower him with compliments and oohs and aahs. Not sure why. Pretty sure it's heavily implied that they're being paid SHIT LOADS of gil to act that way. It's stated outright that they're working for Mayor Kapono, and it's well established by that point that the mayor is wrapped tight around Shinra's pinky finger.

The moment that beach fight started, I knew right away... GRAB THAT UMBRELLA, DO YOUR LEGACY PROUD

Aerith showing her vengeful side, just a tiny bit. So much pent up hatred and grief. Love how it mirrors Cloud's character. She's so forgiving, she doesn't know how to turn anger into action. He's so caught up in his anger, that he forgets what forgiveness could do for him. Man. :'(

Yuffie joins the team!!! Cloud's just like. >:/ lol

Chapter 7: Those Left Behind (Corel)

Fun time is over folks

Huh. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but that's not even close to being a Weapon. Major retcon, or legendary fakeout?

Sighh... Aerith looking up at the sky like that... The longing sure is long isn't it

WELL! Ain't that the dolly zoom of a lifetime! It's absolutely wild to watch Cloud's mental state worsen gradually in real time. Seeing him almost walk off a cliff was freaky. Good stuff

I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR CLOUD JUNIOR

Poor Barret...... damn dude. The people of Corel were nasty to him in the OG, but they cranked that up to eleven in Rebirth. Wow.

"She your new wife? Well good for you..." istg i'll reach through that screen and choke you out with my bare hands bitchass

"NO." Well that settles that! Gee I wonder why Cloud's not interested in helping out the doctor with his test...... hmm......

Yuffie honey... read the room.........

Chapter 8: All That Glitters (Gold Saucer First Visit)

And now for a jarring tonal shift! Yeahh... this game suffers from awkward pacing. A lot. Though I do suppose that's the point— hellish suffering juxtaposed with distasteful extravagance, just how Shinra prefers it.

Dio should snap him in half like a twig. I think it would be good enrichment for Cloud.

Ok. I'm pretty sure this is like. the fourth time Cloud's pupils have gotten all blown out upon seeing Sephiroth. There may be a clinical explanation for this, but there sure as hell ain't a straight one. The submissive little gasps are NOT helping.

I'm fucking pissed on behalf of anyone who has to stay the night at this dumbass hotel. Oh my god. How could anyone fall asleep in this obnoxious hellscape.

At least the receptionist looks good tied up and struggling ;)

Cait Sith meowing his own theme song is doing something unfathomable to the part of me that almost became a furry back in middle school. Oh god no he's so adorable. I'm screwed

I'm going to dismantle that tonberry robot bolt by bolt.

Aerith and Cloud commentating the races omg kicking my feet like a little schoolgirl i love them so muchhhh

The bike minigame is just not the same without Roche's "encouragement"

Jessie 😭

Ok I'm glad that it's made clear from the get-go that Barret isn't responsible for the shooting, and he also doesn't try to take the fall for Dyne. That left a bad taste in my mouth in the OG, so this is a welcome change.

Cait Sith is a little bit too enthused about the muggin' maimin' and murderin' lmao

OH MY GOD CLOUD. Baseball bat to the back of the head was genuinely shocking. As if he didn't have enough brain damage to begin with D:

Oh yuck. Gus is insufferable and nasty. I've known this guy for all of five seconds, and I already hate his guts. Fantastic characterization right outta the gate. The music is hilarious.

Billy???? How the hell did you end up here????? Kid you GOTTA get tf out of this place

LMAOOO Elena is my favorite turk confirmed. "NO VANILLA."

Oh man. Dyne time. This entire part is so damn good. Barret wants so badly for Dyne to be the beloved friend he used to be, but he's just way too far gone. So much resentment and grief.

Second half of the Dyne battle is a little bit weird, but I can tentatively accept it.

Was definitely wondering how they would handle Dyne's suicide given the teen rating. They circumvented the issue by having Shinra troopers gun him down in a crazed last stand. Different from the OG, but still believable and well written, considering their limitations.

Now that I think about it, this game is REALLY pushin' it with the teen rating. I'm willing to bet the rating boards were like, "yeah uh we can make an exception. it's FFVII we're talkin' about." Still... wonder why they couldn't go as far with Remake.

"You carry that guilt... That weight..." Wow. That line.

Annnnd jarring tonal shift! Robot frog fight versus the comedy relief villain. To be fair, I can't think of any other decent place to put this boss, either. On the bright side, Anuran Suppressor is awesome. Favorite fight in the game so far!

I need this soundtrack in my possession right fucking now.

Oh hi Glenn

Chapter 9: The Planet Stirs (Gongaga)

dune buggy :)

Oh Yuffie... just keep a barf bucket on hand or somethin will ya?

"I just... I feel like I've been here before." Well wouldja look at that... no jenova static...

Going over the hill and seeing the reactor... damn.

CISSNEI!!!! Ouuugh girl you know EXACTLY who tf he is, don't lie.

Noooo give Cait his little mushroom back you meanie :(

Ah. The deranged picnic music.

Gongaga has a much different vibe than it did in the OG. The intense feeling of mourning and hardship is missing. No hazy purple hues or Anxiety playing. Seems like they went in more of a CC direction, with the bright blue sky and uplifting soundtrack. Can't lie, I'm a tiny bit disappointed; I was really hoping for something more heavy and melancholic.

The existence of ordinary chickens in the FFVII universe has some frightening implications for the true nature of chocobos. If you have ever kept backyard chickens, you'll know what I mean.

Ohhhhhhh.... Zack's home............. :((((((

No. No. Don't play Sky Blue Eyes. Don't fucking do this to me. I'm gonna fucking cry. Oh my god no.

"They do say no news is good news, right?" I'm gonna do it.

You know shit's bad when even Cloud "I'm Fine" Strife admits he needs to have a lie down. Yikes.

Man, I really wish we knew more about Tifa and Aerith's chats. Dramatic irony's a bitch.

They sure went all out with the mushroom thing, huh. I know they were trying to differentiate Gongaga in terms of gameplay and worldbuilding, but I feel like they went a little overboard. Gongaga was its own unique thing in OG, not sure why they felt the need to quote unquote improve upon it. Just kinda weird.

Now the reactor is a different story. They did an incredible job here. The scale of the reactor, the unprecedented destruction—

Oh God Damn It The Whispers Are Back

Seriously trying so hard to justify in my own mind why the whispers are here. I don't despise them as a concept, but their implementation is awkward and overdone. In the Gongaga reactor, they fulfill the same narrative purpose as the black robes would: to facilitate the Reunion by mentally dragging Cloud along. Sigh... I get it's because they want to familiarize the player with the whispers in anticipation of future scenes, but it still pisses me off.

That being said, the whispers' theme goes HARD and I'm elated to hear it again. It also fits super well in the Gongaga reactor. So I guess I'm not that pissed.

Touch Me renamed to Amphidex. Can't have shit in Gongaga :/

ooOOOOO!!! The mako fumes getting to Cloud's head! Poor guy's about to pass out. Nice touch.

Sephiroth/Jenova taking advantage of Cloud's mako poisoning... Oh man... the instant change in demeanor is nuts. So fucking good. Here we get to see the first time that Sephiroth has total control over Cloud, and it does not disappoint. Ruthless.

Tifa honey how and why tf are you keeping it together right now. Girl, you do NOT have to fix him. You do not have to show him your boobs a second time. You do not have to take a single thing he says seriously. You can just get up and leave I promise he's doomed by the narrative until further notice 😭😭😭

Telluric Orca Vore Moment was also not on my rebirth bingo card but Okay

Teasing the lifestream. Sure, I can get down with it. Just... y'all got a bit of a whisper problem down here. Want me to call pest control?

"No! Don't take him too!" Damn...

I would not feel safe alone in a room with a man who just tried to kill me, let alone even remotely consider intimacy, but maybe that's just me. It is refreshing to see Tifa and Cloud actually talk things out for a change.

Cloud knows there's something wrong with him and he's so scared... man :'(

What does Aerith say to her???????????? ARRRGHHH

So we're all just perfectly fine with Cloud continuing to be in charge? Nobody's got any objections to that? Alrighty Then

SURPRISE Cid Highwind!! Leaks were right, he's cleaned up. No cigs, less swears, very friendly guy. Not as off-putting as I worried it might be. I'm convinced it's just because he's got a business to run— we'll see good ol' cranky Cid in part 3.

ROCHE NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T!!!!!!!! :(

Chapter 10: Watcher of the Vale (Cosmo Canyon)

Red's real voice reveal! Red's real name reveal!! Though I really would have preferred to see his name change to Nanaki in the menu and subtitles...

Cosmo Canyon is coming off as a hippie stoner tourist trap. Yeah all of these people are correct about the planet and the lifestream, but dang if it doesn't feel like someone's about to heckle me into buying healing crystals and dreamcatchers.

The nostalgia is A++. Beautiful remaster of the music, too.

BUGENHAGEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!! SO jealous of him zoomin around on that sick af crystal ball. Screw the Costa wheelies, I want one of these bad boys.

...A legendary fakeout in the making, I think!

The observatory is stunning. Can't even put it into words. The planetarium brought me to tears, it's such a flood of nostalgia and a deeply emotional scene. I love the nice detail of the planet being different from Earth— mako tinted oceans instead of deep blue. Watching the model planet rot and crumble broke my heart.

Sobbing the whole way through Aerith's speech. My god. Poor girl. Knowing what her fate is in the OG makes it hurt even worse.

Gi Nattak. Would

Expanding upon the Gi. Unexpected but super cool. Their story reminds me of FFIX, with the parasitic planet Terra lurking deep within Gaia. The Gi and the Cetra seem to have something similar going on. Who was here first? It almost sounds like the Cetra and their lifestream are invaders.

I could easily relate to the Gi's opinion, that the endless cycle of the lifestream and the persistence of the spirit is tantamount to torture. Never being able to truly rest in peace sucks. Don't worry friends, I'll bring you the black materia! :) (THIS USER CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH THE BLACK MATERIA)

Aerith sticking her hand into the mako..............

Chapter 11: The Long Shadow of Shinra (Nibelheim)

The intense gaslighting about Nibelheim was one of my favorite things about the OG. It also helped seed even more doubt into Cloud's existence as a real person, setting up his descent into madness over the black materia and vulnerability as Sephiroth's puppet. So the changes they've made to Nibelheim in Rebirth are... unnecessary, to put it lightly.

The villagers do not argue with Tifa or Cloud about their memories of the town. They greet them and tell them all about the town's development into a mako poisoning treatment center. Sigh... Part of what made OG's Nibel revisit so dreadful was the unshakeable feeling that you are not welcome there, and that you're being watched like a hawk. I feel a little bit too comfy here in Rebirth Nibelheim, with how friendly and open everyone's being.

Love the chat with Tifa in her old room. We get so much insight into her thoughts and feelings about Nibelheim, Avalanche, and about Cloud and herself.

"Every time we made eye contact, you'd look away. And when I tried to talk to you, you'd ignore me." ouch, don't gotta poke him in the autism like that

Ohoho. The hotel's digging up some memories. I've said my piece.

dillydally

LORD have mercy. This boy's noodle is scrambled like you wouldn't believe. Good news, he remembers Zack, sort of. Bad news, he thinks he fucking drowned?!???? It's intimidating to see the lengths Jenova/Sephiroth will go to to obscure the truth from Cloud. Damn.

Ok Yuffie is actually starting to get a bit obnoxious. Please stop interrupting emotionally charged moments. We get it, you're excited about materia. Cut it out.

If I were Tifa I would be shitting my pants terrified right about now. Girl I do NOT know how you're holding it together.

And now for the most distasteful tonal shift and momentum killer of all time. It's silly kitty cat hijinks time!! ...What the actual fuck. I like Cait Sith, but this is unacceptable. The basement is supposed to be a sickening place of fear and tragedy. Turning it into a cutesy little box chucking playground is downright disrespectful to the original FFVII. I can't even believe I'm writing this, it's so absurd as a concept. This is the only major change that I'm legitimately seriously upset about.

And by god does it drag on. Every time you think, surely this is the final section!... nope. It just keeps on fucking going. Fuck my life, my blood is boiling. Unreal. Remake's slow ass hand-crane highway thing is nothing compared to this. I'll take a Queen's Blood tournament and a hurricane of whispers any day over this unrivaled masterclass in unnecessary bullshit. Fuck.

At least to some people, the reward for getting through the Cait Sith Crate Slog is worthwhile— a few cutscenes starring Vincent Valentine, and a battle against Galian Beast. But if you're like me, and you're not utterly obsessed with Vincent Valentine or Matt Mercer, then by this point, you're just feeling drained and disappointed.

Overall... least favorite chapter. Mellow start, juicy build up with great potential, completely shafted by baffling nonsense.

RIP Roche. Heartbreaking. It's been a good run. Side note, Roche's conversion into a black robe was... quite bizarre. That's just, uh, how that works, I suppose? Okie dokie then

Oh hi Glenn

Chapter 12: A Golden Key (Gold Saucer Revisit)

Always felt weird about the Gold Saucer revisit in the OG. Unusual pacing. Well, at least Rebirth's being consistent in that regard.

What's the point of the theater if you're just going to do a VR performance instead? I know it's a silly little nitpick, but I wanna hear some soles squeaking on a hardwood stage!

Ah, that's the point of the VR. So Shinra can use a dead woman's likeness to keep selling tickets to their overhyped shows. Surprised none of the characters say anything about that, given Avalanche's well-established anticapitalist message.

This is what Genesis Rhapsodos decided to hyperfixate on? No wonder the guy's hair started turning grey and falling out in chunks. [SARCASM]

Barret sobbing uncontrollably, right next to Nanaki looking like a rejected Crash Bandicoot reboot clapping his paws together. Sums up this entire game so far.

The "audience participation" in the play is altered significantly from the OG. It's, uh, very neat and tidy. I strongly prefer OG's hysterical secondhand embarrassment and awkward ad-lib.

I NEED to know what happens if you fail all of the QTEs. Please tell me it goes off the rails and Cloud gets booed off stage PLEASE.

Pretty song. But my god if that is Not What She Would Sound Like.

The gondola rides!! Overall fantastic. So difficult to pick a favorite. Tifa's is obviously phenomenal, but I think I still have a soft spot for Aerith's. I like that Barret's is taken more seriously; it's such a heartfelt moment. Yuffie reminiscing about Zack was adorable, as well as Cloud relating to her being bad with feelings. The Cait Sith/Cid/Vincent one had me laughing out loud, it was so stiff and awkward lmaoo

THE SCOTCH AND KOTCH DISS TRACK IS SENDING ME???????? SKSJKHAGAAAFDSDSDHHBFD I'm so happy to see these freaks doing their thing again.

RUFUS SHINRA?????

Yeah, no Cait Sith, you ain't garnering any pity from me. Not happening after the crate incident.

Chapter 13: Where Angels Fear to Tread (Temple of the Ancients)

So the temple is to the north now. Understandable, since that's where the Forgotten Capital is, too. Still took me by surprise. Also means we won't be going back to Gongaga... aww :(

HOLY FUCK the way the temple assembles itself... now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!

Teasing us with that fractal square symbol since all the way back in Remake...!

Roche....... "my... friend..." :(((((((

These troopers are NOT getting paid enough for this shit lmao

Oh howdy there Rathalos from Monster Hunter, you look a bit different than I remember

Thank goodness the Cetra had the foresight to incorporate some aesthetically appropriate rest benches into their temple's design!

Aerith's seance + the camera angle of the whole team watching... beautiful nod to FFX...? <3

That better not have been Kunsel.

Reno jumpscare

Elena's pretty pink pistol with the charms and stickers is so goofy. I love her. Hopefully Cloud won't try to chop her head off within the next sixty seconds or anything like tha— uh, nevermind.

oooOOURGHH Cloud is SO fucking terrifying throughout the whole temple. Cody hitting it out of the ballpark BIG TIME with the voice acting. DAMN.

Everybody but Cloud has memories to retread... broke my heart. Sad and scary. By the way Hey uhh Temple? Why the fuck would you do this to us? :(

ugly sobbing

Followed up by the Gayest Thing I Think I've Ever Seen In Video Game History

YOU! WITH THE WING!! GET DOWN HERE!!! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Oh god no you're going to make me fight Demon Gate aren't you

THERE'S TWO OF THEM??!?!?!??!?!!! AAHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HORRIFYING BUT RELATABLE, CLOUD

Wait. Cloud. Hey. Can we talk about it for a sec. Come back please

"There's no point fighting over a fake." WHOA I actually straight up forgot about that twist! Hell yeah! What a wham line!

"I wish I hadnae skipped leg day." pFFFFT LMAOOOOO

"Yeah... I'm good." The Fuck You Ain't

PHHWAAHH HE JUST GETS CRUSHED AWWW!! RIP LMAO WHAT A WAY TO GO

The temple's transformation is breathtaking. And that music score, too, holy fuck.

Honestly I'm not even mad about the whispers being there, they're just a setpiece at this point. Adds to the frantic atmosphere. I'm choosing to ignore their narrative relevance until absolutely necessary.

ROCHE? YOU GOOD THERE BUDDY?

THAT BOY on his hands and knees SCRAMBLING for that black materia. Gayass

CLOUD AARHGRFGGFFFFF OHHGGHH SEPHIROTH HAS COMPLETE CONTROL OVER HIM HHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

OUUGRRHHHH OAWWWWGGHH

LISTEN. Listen I cannot formulate coherent thoughts about this. Go see it for yourself. Just go.

tee hee hee he's so proud of himself handing it over :3

It Begins.

Interlude. The Zack Moments so far:

Yeahhhh not a huge fan of Zack just dropping Cloud off at the nearest recognizable npc. Not after he almost gave his goddamn life to protect him.

MAN! Finally get to see what it's like to enter/exit Midgar. No fade to black, just on your feet and out the gate. Feels good; kinda surreal honestly. Never realized how bad I wanted this.

Regardless of what you think about the Zack thing, you gotta admit, the atmosphere during his sections is ethereal. So beautiful and calming in such a tragic way.

Love how he fights different than Cloud. Throwing punches, brutal kicks, shoulder checks, much like in Crisis Core.

HOLY FUCK don't mind me just gonna uhhh rip this five hundred pound metal post out of the ground and chuck it like a toy hammer. Suddenly the Buster Sword doesn't seem all that unwieldy.

......RIP Barret, Nanaki, and Tifa. Oof. What a way to go out.

DON'T MAKE MY SWEET BOY CRY LIKE THAT FUCK YOU!!! :(((((

Damn bitch you live like this??? To be fair, that's probably the most luxurious resting spot he's had in literal YEARS. Like wow there's a mattress!! And a roof!!!!!

Good to know that Cloud's goofy ass flinging himself out of bed straight into a combat stance thing from Remake is actually a Zack mannerism lol

Ohhh... my heart... seeing things from Cloud's perspective... I like the how this expands upon what the OG established, about "dreams" of this type. Sort of like the sleeping forest scene. Also makes Aerith's resolution scene in Remake all the more curious.

Aww... walking out onto the balcony and seeing the whole garden dead...

Obsessed with the music that plays during Zack's sections. Wow.

Awwww Marlene and Zack are such a silly duo :')

Biggs wtf did you do????????

Ziggs crashing hard onto my list of OTPs. Oops.

Divine intervention preventing a headshot? I'm sure some CS:GO players can relate.

Biggs' and Zack's conflicting memories of Cloud, plus the "broken internal clocks" is intriguing.

"Zack-of-all-trades" tickles me :D

All of their dialogue together is so self-aware... two characters who have had their narrative purposes torn out from under them, desperate to find a new one. The fact that there is no reason for them to be here is the whole point.

"We're all headed for the same place. You'll see your daddy and Tifa again." Oh ok yeah sure go ahead and rip my heart right out of my chest Elmyra

"Hello in there..." 🥺

So Remake Aerith bestowed memories of her future death upon Marlene. Is childhood innocence a prerequisite for this ability to work? Seeing as she did something similar with Nanaki. Otherwise, you'd think she would try to entrust her own fate with someone more influential, like Tifa or Barret.

I cannot fucking believe that Zaclerith endgame is real. Am I dreaming

Aww Zack has Aerith's ribbon tied around his hand...

Chapter 14: End of the World (Forgotten Capital/Final Chapter)

Ok Tsengru shippers. I finally see it. You are 100% correct about them.

Now we're getting WILD with it. The timeline shenanigans are in full swing. Speculation aplenty ahead.

"...or 'homeward bound' maybe?" Still trying to make sense of what exactly these sky-rift worlds are. Aerith's line here seems to imply that this is some kind of purgatory...? Where timelines go to wallow in their death throes? That's my understanding, so far. Especially with all of the mournful npc dialogue.

Aww... Aerith's date with Cloud mirroring the one she had with Zack in Crisis Core :')

I tell you what, the Stamp figurine made me GASP. So that's three timelines now. Beagle, Terrier, Spitz.

So Terrier Zack goes to Hojo in hopes of finding a cure for Cloud. Not his finest idea... but oh well. Jealous of his motorcycle. ;)

Sephiroth is combing timelines for one version of Aerith in particular...? Am I on the right track here? Is this the same Aerith from her resolution scene in Remake?

THE PUG made me spit my fucking drink out. Hot damn, there's four! We saw this timeline's conception in the form of the bright flash of light when Terrier Zack chose to go to Hojo.

So Pug Zack instead goes to Biggs at reactor 6. I really, really love this scene. The pump is dry, the planet's life is flashing before its eyes. A heartfelt moment shared between two characters who have had their narrative purposes torn out from under them. Zack gets a delicious bit of character progression, wanting to take back control of his life. Price of Freedom playing in the background has got me wailing like an air horn.

"I'm sick of taking its shit!" WHOA Zack swearing caught me way off guard. He flees from battle for once, instead of facing Shinra head on in this timeline. Wonder how that'll change things.

"You don't look like you're on a date... More like 'at a funeral.'" Mhm. duly noted

Give it up for timeline number five! Corgi Zack is sitting on the stairs at the church.

"Cloud, Biggs, or Aerith... How the hell am I supposed to choose?" You don't have to, darling. It's called a polycule.

Sephiroth slashes a hole in reality, and the black whispers drag Corgi Zack through it. Starting to think I shoulda done my Lifestream Black/Lifestream White homework.

So far, Aerith+Cloud's date "dream" has taken place entirely in the Spitz timeline. It's not clear if this is also true of the scene inside of the church, especially since Sephiroth comes waltzing in after we just saw him outside in the Corgi timeline. I'm getting the impression that time and space are a very hand-wavey thing in this layer of reality.

HEART EXPLODING GHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now for one of the most exhilirating things I think I've ever seen in MY LIFE.

"Behold... The true nature of reality. When the boundaries of fate are breached, new worlds are born. The planet encompasses a multitude of worlds, ever unfolding. [...] In the planet's embrace, all life is as one." Sephiroth's entire dialogue here... I got goosebumps. That's all.

"Very poor form." LMAO

I notice now on my second watch through, that as early as the sleeping forest scenes, we're cutting back and forth between two different timelines, I believe. Whenever the black or white whispers rush past, we shift perspective from one timeline to another. Pay close attention. Two worlds, simultaneous, but different.

Cloud delivers the white materia from one Aerith to another. Is this the same white materia we see from the beginning of Rebirth? I don't think she swaps the materia out, just transfers its power into her own empty materia, then hands Cloud the newly empty one.

Interesting! Looks like the timeline had already split, all the way back when Cloud handed over the black materia. Previously we saw Cloud and Aerith fall, but now— the white whispers rush past— and we see him rescue her and pull themselves up before they fall. Interesting!

Some youtube theorycrafter will piece together the symbolic significance of literally every tiny detail in this prerendered cutscene and make perfect sense of it. Looking forward to it too, because this is WAY above my paygrade.

Hello, whiper pest control services? Hi, yes, I would like to know why the white whispers are suddenly getting in the way? I thought they were my friends :(

Aerith's prayer :(((((((((

OHHGH MY GOD fucking legendary use of the haptic/adaptive triggers. Holy shit.

👁️ 👁️

Meanwhile, Zack Fair

me, banging my fists on the table: KISS! KISS!!! KISS! KISS!!!! JUST KISS ALREADY!!!!!! KISS!!!

Lmao Zack is so indifferent to this interdimensional insanity. After being the protagonist of Crisis Core, he's just like "lol whatever this is fine"

"Look at you takin' charge! I like it!" 😏

Zack+Cloud synergy attack!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!

"What in the hell is going on!?" SAME ZACK, SAME

AERITH!!!!!!!!!

OH FUCK IT'S THE SONG

the hand hold 💔

i'm incoherent. i'll figure out my thoughts about this some other time

Oh hi Glenn— OH SHIT??!?

THE SWORD CAN DO THAT?????? what

Man... the in-game skybox does NOT do that rift in the sky justice. Absolutely staggering in the final prerendered cutscene.

Next time I have a migraine aura, I'll be at ease knowing that it's just the timelines rippling and merging. No big deal

Two separate worlds, one where she lives, one where she dies. Realities overlapping and intertwined. Cloud's fragile mind fluctuating between both… wow. Can't wait to see where this leads in part 3.

Misc. thoughts, not chapter specific:

Love the accentuated mako in SOLDIER eyes. It irked me that the iconic mako color was so muted in Remake, so seeing it so vibrant in Rebirth is sexy as hell.

Um. No comment on Glenn, really. I'm not heavily invested in his story; maybe I'd be more interested if SE had actually done anything substantial with First Soldier and Ever Crisis. I don't mind that he's here, and the Jenova/Sephiroth twist was pleasantly surprising. Matt and Lucia name drop was also a nice touch. It's pretty obvious that the only reason Glenn is here is to help set up a confict against Wutai for part 3. Fair enough.

So no Kunsel? *SMASHES PHONE ON THE GROUND* *CRUSHES SKATEBOARD*

[starsbegantofall]

Bernette 79 sewing machine and embroidery machine review - initial thoughts

I doubt anyone reading this has "embroidery machine" money in their bank account, so it would be helpful to no one, but I appreciated other people putting in their honest reviews when I make big purchases, so I will post mine in case it would be relevant in society.

First, I got this machine because I wanted a computerized machine with more options than my Hello Kitty Janome sewing machine which has 5 stitches, no ability to sew a zipper, and the button hole function/zig zag stitch no longer works properly, making it useful only for sewing straight lines. Most people would advise, stick with the antiques or non-computer ones because of planned obsolescence with newer technology, a statement I would normally go by except my mom finally messed up her retro machine built into the table, and I felt the Hello Kitty was relatively cheap so I got more than its money worth out of it sewing costumes and such over several years. Time for a big upgrade. Also I have the money and still plan to do a lot of sewing if society doesn't break down into a post-apocalyptic Mad Max dystopia.

However, I didn't need an embroidery machine at all. I do embroidery by hand if needed for costumes, my mom taught me the basics, and hand embroidery looks perfectly fine from a distance. But what I do want is a good deal, and reviews stated the combo machine is an excellent bargain bundled with the super expensive embroidery designer software and extra doodads in the Yaya Han version. Not too big or complicated, but versatile especially for costumers, which I am.

So far, after using it for sewing some skirts and two costumes, lots of mending and simple embroidery, I would say I made a good decision. There is a bit of a learning curve in the sewing machine itself and a huge learning curve for the embroidery part, which I expected. The computerized machine does some things that are inconvenient to me, although I suspect this inconvenience is to prevent you from sewing over your fingers by accident. I do like the semi-automatic needle threader, it only works like 50% of the time and seems to shred the thread when it does work, but at least I don't have to struggle to see the hole to thread with my elderly eyes. The automatic thread cutter and the semi-automatic bobbin winder is also great once I figured out how they worked. And the variety of stitches and machine feet is reassuring, though I've only used a few stitches and two feet lol. I already used the buttonhole maker, works just as I had hoped. The sewing is smooth and fairly fast compared to the old machines, and seems to not have much problem with thick fabric, although I haven't tried really thick fabrics yet.

The embroidery function requires taking several parts off the sewing machine and switching out with other parts, which is a bit of a pain if I ever want to switch between functions quickly. Embroidery machines are noisy and require monitoring because sometimes the thread tangles over nothing, like molecules of air are too big sometimes. But I like the possibilities of embroidering tougher materials that would cause me pain in my fingers to try to push a needle through, or perhaps making multiples of identical items, like patches with text. The auto digitizer is not bad for simple designs, and if I had a really cool design to digitize, I think I can wrangle the software into working without too much trouble. Currently trying to think of original designs to digitize, though.

There is an extra cost of having to buy multiple colors of machine embroidery thread which is different from regular thread and more expensive, and lots of stabilizer which is required for smooth results. But I managed to get a bargain lot of new threads from a reseller online, and I found advice on how to sort of reuse stabilizer scraps (though I still have to buy rolls of it especially for larger designs.)

So far I haven't broken anything except one needle. I'm happy with my investment, and look forward to several years of sewing, assuming the world doesn't destroy itself by then. If you are interested in perusing sewing machines be sure to check @20dollarlolita !

[cherrygorilla]

The Mixtape Mysteries: Chapter 1 (Part 2)

Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne - 4:53

Yes, it is a ridiculous amount of time since I last posted anything to do with this (or anything at all really), but I've been dying to write for this story again, so I thought it would be a good way to help me get my groove back. Plus, I wanted to wait until Camp Wanamaker was done before I went back to working on Acting School Drop Out (because I feel like I might be able to use some stuff that's been mentioned in the next part lol). So, after months and months of uni stress that's kept me away from my google doc, here's the next installment of the story that's kept me going through it all.

Listen along with the gang here. Enjoy!

Heavy eyelids dropped over a pair of umber eyes trying, and failing, to focus on the computer screen in front of them. Whilst the radio often felt like Butchy's only co-worker, today it just seemed to be functioning as a lullaby machine - and the smooth, fade-out ending of Electric Light Orchestra's 'Evil Woman' just proved the point further. One second he was staring blankly at a page of pixelated text on a fuzzy screen, and then the next thing he knew he was drooling into the palm of his hand and almost falling off his chair at the sound of a car racing past his window. 

It's not even that he was tired - it was barely even 11am for Christ's sake - he was just so bored his brain was shutting down from lack of stimulation. And considering the latest turn of events, his body wasn't far behind. The roaring engine disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, leaving the incessant ticking of the plastic wall clock in its place. It didn't matter what kind of car it was, or where the hell it was going; all Butchy knew was that he wanted to be in it. Hopefully travelling far, far away from this crappy, dead-end town, and this shoe box of an office, that was more dust than desk, and smelled like a wet rat. 

Begrudgingly, he gathered himself together and finished typing out the latest file he'd been working on - something about trespassing in the old steel mill, he didn't care enough to look into the details. Tipping his head back, he rubbed his palms across his eyes, trying to press as hard as he could to draw some sort of alertness to the forefront of his mind. If anything, it just made him more tired.

One glance across his desk let his gaze settle on the dorky Star Wars mug Royce and Bentley had gifted him on his last birthday, and for the first time since he'd slumped in the splitting leather swivel-chair that morning, a ghost of a smile graced his features. He took a swig and drained the mug of the last of its contents: bitter, room-temperature coffee. Wincing at the taste, he picked up the next file to work on, but swiftly dropped it in favour of refilling his mug. After all, the walk to the coffee pot in the main office was the only change of scenery he got all day. Sometimes he watered the dying yucca plant beside him with the rancid liquid just so that he had an excuse to get away from his desk.

The tapping of keyboards and mumblings of the same, tedious phone calls he overheard every day met Butchy's ears as he lumbered down the hall and pushed open the office door. Lurking behind the frosted panel, caked in as much dust as the rest of the building, was the rag-tag reception team, consisting of three women Butchy had absolutely no intention of even looking at, let alone speaking to. He'd given up trying to make conversation with his co-workers pretty quickly after every meagre attempt on his end had been ignored. Most shifts passed without him uttering a single word. However, Lela ditching his ride that morning must have thrown him off more than he realised, because this shift was about to become an anomaly. 

"So I said to him: If you know so much about the damn sausages, why don't you cook 'em yourself?" 

"I bet he knows a lot about one kind of sausage."

"Oh Jen, pull your mind out of the gutter, you sound like a teenager."

"She practically still is one."

"I'm right though, aren't I?"

A strained sigh slipped past Butchy's lips before he could stop it. The nasal drones from the women behind him were enough to make his eye twitch at the best of times, but the added scraping of Jennifer's nail file made it inevitable. Before he could short-circuit altogether though, one of the adjoining doors to the main office was pushed open, and the conversation unfolding behind it immediately caught his attention. 

Heaving a sigh that put the young trainee's to shame, the fourth, and final receptionist, led the charge into the room - two officers hot on her heels. "Well, you'll just have to go alone then, won't you, gentlemen?" 

"We can't just 'go alone', the chief's the only one that goes on solo investigations. What if it's dangerous? What if we need back-up?"

"And what, pray tell, Officer Reynolds, is so 'dangerous' about a broken store window?"

"Well from the sounds of things it's a pretty clear-cut robbery. What if the culprit's still on the scene? What if he's armed?"

"Why are you assumin' it's a 'he'?" Jennifer piped up with a smirk, punctuating her question by blowing the acrylic dust from the tip of her nail. 

As expected, neither officer batted an eyelid at her interruption. 

"We got the call last night. You've got a higher chance of him sticking the damn window back together."

"But what if it's like that time when Old Man McRoberts'-"

"Enough, boys. I don't want to hear it," she finally snapped, slamming the stack of paperwork down on her desk so hard it even made her glasses chain quiver. Turning to the pair with her hands planted firmly on her hips, she continued. "Callahan, you're on patrol with Officer Powell; Reynolds, you're investigating that store window. Alone."

"But Fran, that never-"

"No, I don't want to hear another word. You're going solo, Reynolds, and that's that." 

"...Uh, I could go with you."

The whole office fell silent. Even Jennifer's nail file seemed to pause for thought. But all too soon, six pairs of eyes fell on Butchy, whose grip on his mug instinctively tightened under their bemused glares. He couldn't exactly blame them; even he couldn't believe that he'd dared to speak - let alone suggest such a thing. But then again, this was a perfect opportunity - perhaps the only opportunity he'd get (at least for the foreseeable future) to prove himself a worthy member of the team. Being stuck behind a computer screen all day was getting him nowhere - in fact, he was pretty sure he had even less respect now than when he'd first set foot through the door over a month ago. But working on a case, a real case, meant he could put all the skills he'd learnt in his training to the test - show everyone that potential he'd promised in his interview. This could be the making of Officer Bandoni. This could be his ticket out of that godawful, stuffy office. This could be-

"Oh my god, look at his face; he's serious."

God, he hated Jennifer. But he hated that cackling laugh of hers even more. 

"Jennifer," Linda, the crotchety receptionist to her left, scolded. If Butchy hadn't known better, with her brusque, hushed tone and sharp glare from over the top of her tortoise shell glasses, he'd have thought the woman was her mother. 

"Yeah right," Officer Callahan snorted. But a pause, followed by a brief glance in the new recruit's direction soon had his confidence faltering. "I- Oh…" 

"Hey, cut him some slack, Jen; the kid's still learning the ropes," Officer Reynolds piped up, ignoring Officer Callahan's attempts to hide his smirk by smoothing out his moustache, and instead sending the smarmy receptionist a blasé, yet stern frown. "Of course he wasn't being serious."

"Actually, I was," Butchy corrected. He set his mug down and stood his ground opposite the two officers, gently nudging his chin up and puffing out his chest in an attempt to outwardly show some of the confidence he was so desperately trying to scrounge together. At least that would help to mask the stubborn rage bubbling away in the pit of his stomach. The staff's dismissiveness was frustrating enough on its own, but being reduced to a 'kid' was downright infuriating. 'Kids' did not single-handedly raise their little sister. 'Kids' did not give up their weekends to go and work in a shitty garage for two bucks an hour all throughout high school just so they could have food on the table. 'Kids' did not shoulder the responsibility of four adults after stepping up to parent, not only his own sister, but the three boys next door too. Butchy hadn't felt like a 'kid' in years. He had always been the oldest - the most mature, the most dependable, the most capable… So for these six adults, who had barely given him the time of day in the month he'd been working with them, to stand there and tell him he was nothing more than a 'kid'...it was insulting. And he was determined to prove them wrong. "If you need another officer for back-up, and no one else is free, then why can't I go with you?" 

"Well, for one, you're not an officer-"

All Reynolds had to do was hold up a hand for Callahan to snuff out his snickers. "Because you haven't finished your training yet, son," he plainly explained. At least his withering look was softened by a bored tone. 

"But I've aced every part of the course I've completed so far," Butchy argued. "And this could be a chance for me to learn on the job, out in the field-"

"Son, let it go."

"You said, yourself, that I've got potential. Why can't I just show you-?"

"Look, kid, you're not ready - you won't be for a long time. I admire the optimism but we've gotta look at the facts here. And truth is: the dirt on Callahan's shoe's got more experience walkin' 'round a crime scene than you do. I know you want to get out of the office and get a taste of the action, but I can't work the case and babysit you at the same time. It's just not realistic."

'Babysit'? Butchy could feel the word in the palm of his hand as he clenched his fingers into a fist around it, crushing it, along with all its juvenile connotations. "I'm not a 'kid', I'm eighteen years old," he insisted, choosing his words and tone very carefully as he fought not to lose his cool. 

"Yeah, and I'm not a chainsmoker neither," Jennifer sniggered, appearing to have swapped her nail file for a cigarette during the confrontation. She took a long drag as her, deep, carob eyes latched onto his, lashes sprawling across a rough sea of streaky kohl, before letting the smoke leak out through her crimson-painted smirk. 

Butchy didn't know what was more nauseating: her attitude or the stench of tobacco hanging in the air. 

Officer Reynolds let out an exasperated sigh that soon stole back the trainee's glare though. "That's all well and good, but it's not gonna change my mind. You need more experience before you go out in the field, Bandoni," he explained, with an expression that told Butchy he was well-weary of the conversation now. "You can't learn to run before you learn to walk. It's just not realistic - if anything, it's naïve."

"But how am I supposed to get more experience when I'm stuck behind a desk all day?" 

Butchy's question was shot down though as the pair of officers crossed the room to the office's main door, back to their usual routine of barely acknowledging his existence. "If I'm not back by two for your CPR training, Officer Powell will handle it, okay?" Reynolds said as he plucked his hat from the coat stand in the corner and secured it atop his head of thinning, taupe hair. Knowing the new recruit wouldn't be satisfied with any answer he could give him, he'd just decided to brush the question aside altogether. 

And knowing that defiance, and further provoking, would get him nowhere, Butchy finally relaxed his hand, and gave a stiff nod. He silently watched the officers announce their departure to the room and felt his shoulders slump in defeat, his chest aching with betrayal. Officer Reynolds was supposed to be his mentor, the one who would take him under his wing as he learned the ropes - and yet he'd kicked him to the curb and spat in his face the one time he'd tried to do the right thing. At least that's how it felt to him anyway. 

"Bye boys," Jennifer trilled with a flirty giggle as the office door closed behind them. Tapping the ash from the end of her cigarette, she turned her vampish smirk to Butchy. "Nice little show there, Bandoni. And there I was thinking today was gonna be boring." 

Butchy's frown deepened as her scornful laughter battered his ears. The thick-headed she-devil wasn't worth his breath though - even the sickened huff that escaped his throat felt like a waste. His fingers once again closed, although this time they at least found the warm ceramic of his mug beneath them. Letting the heat seep into his skin, he took a deep breath in through his nose and tried to focus on anything else other than the anger boiling in his chest. At least the Star Wars mug, and the memory of receiving it, gave him something to anchor himself to: a way to discharge all the bitter resentment that had been steadily building for weeks, but had finally come to an ugly head. One more snarky comment from Jennifer and he'd have hurled the coffee at her sloppy up-do, he knew it - he could feel himself teetering on the brink. 

And yet, a friendly hand in the centre of his back was all it took to draw him back from the edge. "I should be thanking you," Fran said with a sympathetic chuckle, and roll of her eyes at the officers' expense. "I thought they'd never leave."

Managing a weak, but grateful smile to the receptionist, Butchy finally picked his mug up from the drink station and took his leave before he could draw any more unwanted attention to himself. Jennifer's squawking voice still rang in his ears as his footsteps pounded down the hall, desperate (for once) to shut himself away in his office. At least in there he knew he was safe from further embarrassment, even if the only thing waiting for him was a stack of files on petty traffic crimes. Apparently reading about speeding fines and parking tickets was all the excitement his life could afford him for the time being. But, for once, he actually found some comfort in that. 

"Well, Wuthering Heights, you were fun while you lasted, but I am not going to miss you," Vivien snorted, holding the worn paperback out in front of her, as if to address it like an old friend. 

The gentle chuckles that bounced the soft, chocolate brown curls beside her set her innocent little middle-school heart aflutter, and she caught herself clamping her lips shut in case it tried to escape. Craving the thrill of that sensation again, she snatched a shy glance in his direction before plastering the jovial grin back on her face. "Thank you for the 'A' though, Emily." 

"What are you thanking her for? We did all the hard work," Royce scoffed. "I wrote so many notes on the moors I'm pretty sure I almost gave myself Carpal Tunnel."

A snicker crinkled the brunette's nose. "Well you do have the neater handwriting."

"And you have all the good ideas," Royce chuckled, praying desperately that the prickling he felt across his cheeks wasn't what he thought it was. 

Stopping in front of a set of painted metal doors, Vivien turned to him with a disapproving frown. "Not all the good ideas." 

"Fine… most then."

Whilst Royce may have been able to keep his blush at bay, Vivien felt hers raging like a wildfire as she downplayed his compliment with an affectionate eye-roll and pushed her way out into the crisp autumn air of the Hawkins Middle parking lot. Hopefully a bracing breeze like the one that smacked her across the face the second she set foot onto the asphalt would help her systems stop running on overdrive, because right now she felt like a live wire about to catch light. One wrong move from Royce and he'd be fried to a crisp. 

Wrapping her free hand around the forearm that flanked him, protecting his arm from being barbecued should he decide to fondly bump her as they fell into stride once more, Vivien, composure regained, offered him a smile. "I guess that makes us a pretty good team then, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," he agreed, holding her gaze for a beat and letting the sincerity of the moment swell alongside the tingly, warm feeling spreading through his chest. "...And we've got the A to prove it." Terrified by the sensation, he snorted out a laugh that shattered the tenderness of the moment just as awkwardly as how he almost tripped over his own feet because he was spending more time looking at Vivien and her freaking dimples than where he was walking. Damn his stupid hand-me-down sneakers from Miles and their stupidly long laces.

More awkward, cheerful chuckles tumbled from the middle schoolers' lips as Royce steadied himself again and they made their way over to the cluster of trees by the soccer field. It didn't take Vivien long to break the comfortable silence that had fallen over them though. "I don't know what we're going to do with ourselves now that project's finished; it completely took over our lives for like two whole weeks there."

"I'm sure we'll find something."

But Royce's laidback grin was the complete antithesis of Vivien's tense shoulders and skittish gaze. Then again, he had no idea what she was planning, or what her skating friends had been begging her to do for weeks. 

It couldn't be that hard, right? It was just one little question. She asked him questions all the time, this one didn't need to be any different. And besides, there wasn't really anything Vivien felt as though she couldn't talk to Royce about; he was her best friend, he was always her first port of call for anything that was bothering her - well, unless it was about something like her period; that was strictly for her mom…

But this was just a question: one that could very well have been asked without another thought had she not attached all the extra weight to it in her mind. And yet here she was, fighting her own tongue, trying to persuade it to recite the script she'd meticulously planned out in her head the night before, because for some reason it wasn't convinced by her promised ability to brush the sentiment off as 'just a friend thing' should Royce take it badly. And neither was her mind, really. 

Realistically though, what was the worst thing that could happen if he had a weird reaction? It's not like a meteor would crash out of the sky and strike them both down or anything, no matter how much she may want it to in the moment - she knew; she'd checked and it wasn't the right time of year for it. The worst that could happen is things might be a little awkward between them for a couple days, right? He wouldn't- 

-Actually, scratch that. Vivien didn't want to think about it. 

"Well, actually…" she began, before she could talk herself out of it any further. 

Vivien felt Royce's gaze land on her the second she stopped to clear her throat, which had become inexplicably scratchy ever since those last words had left it, clearly so reluctant to be said they'd dug their heels in the entire journey out into the cool, October air. And as soon as it did, it felt as though all her sweat glands released at once, adding a glistening sheen to her already crimson skin. Horrified, Vivien kept her gaze on the ground a few paces ahead of her to avoid having to find out if Royce had realised, and pushed her round, silver-rimmed glasses further up the bridge of her nose in an attempt to shield herself from further embarrassment as a result of her thirteen-year-old hormones wreaking havoc in her own body. 

Fearing that the longer she dragged this on, the more her subconscious would betray her, she swallowed her nerves and ploughed ahead. "Do you remember how you missed out on going to watch The NeverEnding Story this summer because you had to spend your ticket money on a new wheel for your bike?"

In her periphery, Vivien saw Royce's hand shift up to play with the fraying fabric of his backpack strap. He only ever did that when he felt uncomfortable. She didn't even have to look at him to confirm it either, the pause before he responded told her almost as much as his tone of voice did. 

"...Yeah, but what does that-?"

"Hey nerds!" 

Despite their disdain for the term, both Vivien and Royce's heads whipped around to try to locate the source of the voice, mentally cursing themselves for even acknowledging that the phrase could have been used to refer to them, let alone responding to it. But as green and brown eyes scanned a sparse sea of middle schoolers, searching for signs of anyone with ill-intent, they came up short. 

"Over here!"

The voice, carried on the wind, drew the pair's gazes to a figure, practically standing on the bench of a rotting, wooden picnic table to try to grab their attention and their disgruntled grumblings fell from their lips within seconds of one another, replaced by fond sighs. 

Bentley waved the duo towards him so spectacularly that, for all they knew, he could have been directing a plane to land. And whilst Vivien couldn't help but smile at the blond's boundless energy, she also couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment with how easily Royce shelved their conversation by letting out an almost relieved: "Duty calls."

"Yeah," Vivien agreed with a forced smile and a breathy, awkward laugh to match his. Although it dropped from her face the second he turned his back to head over to the shaded seating area. 

Once he was a good few paces ahead of her, and she was sure he was out of earshot, Vivien let out a frustrated huff, so hot she was surprised it didn't steam up her glasses. "Goddammit, Bentley," she muttered, shoving her library copy of Wuthering Heights into her backpack as she started trudging along behind Royce. "I almost got through it all that time."

But Bentley was none the wiser to Vivien's grand plans; too excited by his own news to consider that the pair may have been busy. And besides, the easygoing grin his older brother shot him as he approached made him none the wiser. 

"You've gotta come up with something better to call us, Benny," Royce said, fondly shaking his head as he climbed the last few steps of the hill leading up to the picnic table, adorned by Bentley's friends, the contents of at least three up-turned pencil cases, and enough sheets of paper to paper mache a small child. Thankfully, the table was sheltered from the worst of the breeze, so the most that a stray gust could do was flutter the edges beneath the various, makeshift paperweights (dog-eared textbooks and unopened juice boxes) strewn across the splintering surface.

"Why? You are 'nerds'," the boy laughed as he bounced back down into his spot on the bench seat beside August. 

"We are not," Royce protested.

"It got you to come over here, didn't it?" Bentley replied with a cheesy smirk. 

Royce let out a slightly bitter sigh as he fumbled through a response. "Well- yeah, but it's… demeaning." 

"Then why'd you respond to it?" Kona snorted, apparently more focused on selecting the right shade of crayon than bothering to look Royce in the eye as she insulted him. 

The bluntness of the eleven-year-old's comment drew a snort of laughter from him before he could stop it, whether it was in amusement or incredulity though he'd never know. But the smile that threatened to envelop his disapproving frown stayed firmly in place as he said, "Because I'm so used to everyone else calling us it, that's why. And you shouldn't be contributing to the problem anyway; I thought we were all on the same side here."

"You calling us nerds, RJ?" Zack piped up with a challenging quirk of his eyebrow. 

"Pot calls the kettle black," Royce smirked.

"White boy says what now?" Zack retorted with a confused frown that soon gave way to a mischievous grin the second that Royce rolled his eyes and playfully ruffled his hair, insisting through shared laughter that the boy knew what he meant. 

"What are you guys doing up here?" Vivien asked with a breathy laugh of her own as she arrived at the picnic table and caught the end of the boys' friendly roughhousing.

"Having fun until you nerds showed up," Zack scoffed as he shoved Royce's chest in an attempt to get the older boy away from him. But the bubbling giggles that tumbled from his lips as Royce expressed his disdain for the name once more told everyone all they needed to know about how much he enjoyed the brunet's company - proved even further when he resorted to wrapping his arms around his torso and tackling him into a hug from his spot on the bench. 

"Looks like it," Vivien noted with a bemused chuckle. "What's all this then? You writing out your own comic book or something?" she continued, gesturing to the vast collection of paper spread out before the quartet. 

"We're designing our characters for this cool new game Gus brought in," Bentley raved, holding up his sheet of paper for Vivien to see. "Look at my guy, he's got a wand that's disguised as a paintbrush and this magic flute that lets him talk to animals." 

"Damn, Benny, that's so cool," she grinned, marvelling at the artwork with almost as much care as the blond put into creating it. 

"And look, here's the one I'm doing for Gus," Bentley continued, shuffling the papers around until he selected the right one. 

"You didn't want to draw out your own?" Vivien asked the boy, whose sandy blond eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. 

"Nah; Ben's better at art," August admitted, only glancing up from his work to shoot his oblivious friend a shy smile. "And I enjoy the planning part of it more anyway," he went on to explain. "So he's doing the drawing, and I'm filling out his character sheet for him." 

"Yeah, 'cause there was no way I was gonna be able to deal with all that," Bentley snorted.

"This looks like a lot of work for just one game," Vivien noted, inching another piece of paper towards her and finding it covered from top to bottom in meticulously written words, numbers, and the occasional, scribbled doodle. 

"Tell me about it," Kona scoffed. "I feel like we got extra math homework with this stupid number system we've got to work off of," she added with a huff that blew a straw strand of hair away from her eyes. Begrudgingly tapping the open, yellowing pages of an intricately illustrated book with the end of a pencil, she brought the thirteen-year-old's gaze to the table she was drawing from. 

"You guys are willingly doing math over lunch and you're calling us nerds?" Royce asked with a teasing incredulity that earned him further, playful bickering from Zack. 

"So what do you do with all this when you've created your characters then?" Vivien continued, feeling a fond smile tugging at her lips as Royce's unbridled laughter tickled her ears. Fighting the urge to swat the imagined sensation away, she focused her attention on the other children at the table. "What's this dorky wizard math game called?" 

"Dungeons and Dragons," Bentley explained.

Vivien’s ears perked up. “Dungeons and Dragons? That weird roleplaying game Riven plays with his sweaty high school friends?” 

“Who’s Riven?” Kona asked.

“My skating partner,” Vivien said, throwing the explanation away like a used napkin so that she could get back to the main point at hand. 

“Ew, so is he like your boyfriend then?” Kona teased with a devilish wiggle of her eyebrows. 

“No!” Vivien blurted, maybe a little too quickly if everyone turning to look at her was anything to go by. "No, not like… It's just- He's like my brother, ok?" she hurriedly tried to explain, trying to ignore the bile now creeping at the back of her throat the very thought alone had placed there. 

"Ok," Kona snorted, smirking to herself as she caught Royce's shoulders slump in relief in her periphery. Making the ninth-graders squirm was a favourite pastime of hers, and lately, all this girlfriend-boyfriend talk around them, despite making her want to hurl, had been a homerun every time. 

"I didn’t know Riven played DnD,” Bentley piped up, earning himself a grateful smile from Vivien for taking some of the heat off her. 

“Neither did I until he made us switch our practice days so that he could go play pretend with a bunch of dorks out the back of Eddie 'the freak' Munson's trailer."

"Riven's in that weird Hellraiser club?" Royce asked, bushy eyebrow raised in disbelief. 

"My sister says they're all devil worshippers," Zack mumbled.

"It's Hellfire," Vivien corrected. "And they're not devil worshippers - well, Riven's not anyway. As far as I know they're just losers in matching shirts who play make believe like they're still in first grade."

"It's more than just playing make believe," August dared to pipe up with a somewhat defensive frown, immediately toying with the corner of Bentley's character sheet the second the group's attention landed on him. A sideways glance in the blond's direction earned him a reassuring smile that breathed some much needed confidence into his lungs, and as he released it, he said, "There's this whole world you can build your own stories around with all these super detailed characters and a bunch of lore you can discover. I spent my whole weekend reading through the books my cousin gave me and that doesn't even cover half of it. It's like one big choose-your-own adventure story, but everyone gets a say in what happens, and gets to feel like they're a part of it."

A beaming grin and steel blue eyes, sparkling with excitement, found Royce with startling ease. "Doesn't that sound cool?!" Bentley enthused.

"...It actually does," Royce admitted, even surprising himself with his answer. 

"Hear that, Auggie? You didn't even have to mention dragons to convince someone that time," Kona snickered, firing the curly haired boy beside her a smirk. 

"Whatever," Zack scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You thought they sounded cool too," he added with an accusatory nudge of the blonde's elbow that had her cursing him under her breath for making her pencil skim across the page. 

Ignoring his friends' sibling-like arguing, so used to it by now that it honestly would have been stranger to acknowledge it, Bentley kept his attention, and his toothy grin, focused on his older brother. "I knew you'd like it! You're always borrowing those old fantasy books from the library and writing your own versions of them."

"Well- yeah, ok, but what does that have to do with this?" Royce stuttered, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment despite Vivien's small, amused smile. 

"Well this is just like that! Gus wrote out our first campaign all by himself," Bentley gushed before leaning into the shying blond beside him. "That's like the story, right?" he checked in a hushed tone. And after receiving a confirmatory nod, he turned back to Royce with renewed enthusiasm. "The plot, the monsters, the bonus quests - he came up with it all!" 

Bentley pushed a stack of papers towards his brother, bound by treasury tags and bearing enough ink to have drained an entire pack of ballpoint pens. "Holy shit," Royce breathed as he picked it up and began flipping through the makeshift book, becoming more and more stunned with every turn of a page. "You wrote this whole thing by yourself?" he asked August, who timidly nodded. "In one weekend?" Again, the boy nodded, this time a little more eagerly. And Royce could see why. "...Wow," he marvelled, smiling as he watched the younger boy swell with pride. "This is really impressive, August."

"You put some serious work into this, huh?" Vivien noted.

"Yeah, I guess," August admitted as his steadily reddening cheeks were pulled aside by an appreciative grin. "It's not like I minded though," he went on to hurriedly explain. "It all came together pretty quickly once I got into it. Plus it gave me an excuse to shut myself up in my room away from my stuffy aunt and that stupid dog she carries around in her purse," he added, earning himself a bright laugh from Bentley that completely stalled his train of thought. Luckily, it was nothing that clearing his throat and refocusing his gaze on the blond's character sheet couldn't fix though. "I guess I just thought it would be something fun for us all to do together, you know?"

"Yeah, it sure sounds like it," Vivien said with a warm smile. But there was still a little, nagging thought hammering away at the back of her head, and she feared that if she didn't use this opportunity of an out as her last-ditch attempt at getting Royce alone before the end of the school day then that nagging thought would break right through her skull and puncture her brain with its pesky little pickaxe. And she needed all the brainpower she could muster to get through this, so she did not want to take any risks. "Anyway," she continued, snagging the attention of the table of eleven-year-olds as she clapped her hands together. "We'd better let you guys get back to planning. We wouldn't want to be the reason for you guys delaying your first adventure now, would we?" she asked rhetorically, firing a knowing look across at Royce that was not-so-subtly hidden behind a theatrical grin.

If Royce picked up on the intensity behind Vivien's gaze though, he didn't show it, instead remaining as blissfully oblivious as he always seemed to be when it came to her intentions as he took his turn to offer a fond smile to the table of his brother's friends. "You'll have to let us know how it goes," he said, before adding with a chuckle: "I'm invested now; it sounds awesome."

Breathing out a sigh of relief between her teeth as Royce rounded the picnic table to join her, Vivien kept her almost clown-like smile plastered to her face as she thanked whatever great powers were at work for making Royce ever so slightly more perceptive than the other, gormless teenage boys in their class. But just as she was inching her way back down the hill, and readying her opening line for the brunet once they were out of earshot of the eager little gremlins, one of them piped up with a perfectly pointed pin to burst her bubble. 

"Why don't you just play with us then?" 

Bentley's wide-eyed, hopeful grin was the only thing keeping Vivien from snatching up Kona's muddy jump rope and strangling him with it. Besides the years upon years of sibling-like friendship, obviously.

Forcing out a strained laugh, she managed a tight, "It's alright, Benny, we don't want to crash your fun." 

"You're not crashing anything; we want you to join in. Right, guys?" 

Ok, so Bentley can't read social cues… Good to know. 

It would have made things a hell of a lot easier if Vivien could have known about that before she set the wheels of her master plan into motion though, because right now she felt like they were so out of sync they were about to derail the handcar she'd strapped this grand idea of hers to. But even if she could have brought herself to get mad at Bentley, Zack jumped to the blond's defence before she even had the chance. 

"Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get because Kona can't add up for shit and I'm not about to let my guy Omar Scale Crusher die after I've spent all this time working out his stats."

"I can't add up for shit?! What the hell are you talking about? You're the one who got put in Math 2!"

"Only for a week! And I totally got a better grade than you on that test last week."

"No you didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Bite me!" 

As the pair energetically bickered about Zack's accusations, which Kona steadfastly claimed were built on entirely false foundations, Vivien found her frustration with the picnic table occupants crumbling away. After all, they weren't to know that she'd been practising for this lunchtime conversation with Royce for weeks. How could they? The only others she'd confided in were her three skating friends and the balding Big Bird stuffed animal from the end of her bed that had taken on the role of Royce during her many rehearsals. And she couldn't blame them for their excitement over the game either; even she had to admit that it sounded pretty cool. Plus, after hearing Riven rhapsodise about Hellfire's epic campaigns for weeks now, she was starting to get a little curious about the game and how it was played. 

"Omar Scale Crusher, huh?" she eventually chuckled, raising a quizzical eyebrow at Zack that soon ground his and Kona's squabbling to a halt. "How'd you come up with that?" 

"Isn't it sick? Auggie had this big list of names with cool meanings to help us decide."

After shuffling through the endless sheets of paper around him, August found the right one and went on to explain for a very enthusiastic Zack: "Omar means 'one who has a long life'."

"Yeah, so he'd better live up to his damn name! I'm not planning this whole thing out to have him die in the first round," he declared with a hearty laugh, before tagging on: "Plus my uncle's called Omar and he's awesome."

Vivien couldn't help her snort of laughter at the blunt innocence. "Very creative," she noted. "What is he then? Like a viking or something?"

"No, he's a wizard," Zack stated matter-of-factly. "'Cause why would I bother using a sword when I could just kill an enemy with magic?" 

"How come your guy's holding a sword then?" 

Royce's frank delivery, from over the younger boy's shoulder, had a laugh spurting from between Vivien's lips before she could stop it. And Bentley, August, and Kona were all quick to follow suit. 

However, as to be expected, the brash brunet soon scrambled a retaliation. "Well I'd still want one for backup."

"No duh," Kona chuckled as she finished shading in the metallic sheath of the dagger her character clutched in a leather clad fist. "Magic or not, you still need a weapon."

"Is your character a wizard too then?" Vivien asked Kona, but the incredulous snort the blonde let out could have told her all she needed to know on its own.

"No, Andromeda doesn't need to rely on magic to keep herself out of danger; her dexterity's off the charts." 

Before another argument could break out between Zack and Kona as a result of her roundabout dig at him, August decided to speak for the table. "Zack’s our mage, Kona's our thief, Ben's our Bard and my guy's a ranger."

"But you're the dungeon master too, right?" Bentley checked, mischievous blue eyes peeking out from beneath furrowed bows. 

August's own eyes were drawn to Bentley's the second that he'd opened his mouth, but the smirk tugging at his friend's lips was what captured his attention. "What's so funny?" he challenged through a chuckle that coaxed one out of Bentley too. "You don't think I could be a dungeon master?"

"I never said that," Bentley laughed. But the look the boys shared meant they both knew that's what his tone had implied.

"You didn't have to."

"Well can you blame me? It just sounds so menacing and scary. I know you read all those horror books and stuff, but come on, you're about as intimidating as Winnie the Pooh - who, last time I checked, was still tucked under your comforter next to your pillow and your old baby blanket."

Jaw dropped in incredulity, August lightly elbowed Bentley in the ribs. "I can so be intimidating," he retorted. But if he was pretending to be mad at the boy, his true feelings were soon revealed by the smile he couldn't seem to keep off his face.

"Yeah, well, we've yet to see it," Kona bluntly noted, which once again set Royce and Vivien off giggling at the sixth graders. 

"You sound like you've got a pretty well-rounded group then," Royce carried on, drawing the conversation back to August's point from earlier. "Are there even any roles left for us? Or are we going to have to start doubling up?"

"You can double up if you want, but there's still a bunch of classes that haven't been picked yet," August explained, flipping through the large book spread out before him until he got to the right page. "We've not got a druid, a cleric, or a fighter."

"What does a fighter do?" Royce asked.

"Fighters are weapons-oriented warriors, who fight using skill, strategy, and tactics," August recited from his handbook, bringing the group's attention to the detailed illustration of an armoured swordsman, wielding what looked to be an incredibly heavy shield with almost no effort at all.

The second Vivien's eyes met the page she knew it was game over; her imagination kicked into overdrive and tossed all other thoughts about how she could have been spending this lunchtime to the curb. Racing at a million miles an hour, her brain plucked ideas from seemingly thin air and began piecing together a muscular young woman, strong enough to knock an ox clean off its feet in one quick shove, although you'd never know it since her frame was cleverly disguised in roughened leather padding, tarnished silver armour, and rich, violet robes fashioned into a sort of cape. Her face was weathered, but kind, and her vibrant, emerald eyes sparkled with determination, and the promise of adventure. Like the picture in August's book, the woman carried a large, battle-scarred sword by its ornate handle, and kept a hefty shield vigilantly by her side, painted in, again, deep shades of indigo, violet, and the blood of her enemies, naturally. She also had a quiver of arrows slung over her shoulder though, nestled beside a crossbow, just peeking out from behind a head of flowing, chestnut locks. The heroine had no time for preening, so her hair was tousled with grease and grime from combatting the elements on her journeys, but as it fluttered in the wind, it was kept away from her face by intricate braids, weighed down by silver rings and stolen jewels of amethyst and topaz. She smiled at Vivien from the forefront of her mind, as if marking her territory there, and Vivien felt her heart skip a beat as she breathed out a quiet, and hopefully nonchalant: "Hmm…cool."

"That sounds like a good one for you, Viv. Strategy and tactics? You're great with planning stuff out," Royce noted. But one glance in her direction and his face broke into a knowing smile the second he clocked her eyes, glazed over in thought, and lips, parted in awe. 

"Yeah, and look, you'd make a great cleric," Bentley continued, pulling Royce's gaze away from Vivien, albeit reluctantly. Flipping the page of August's handbook, he excitedly tapped at a drawing of a tall man, draped in heavy, fur pelts and bronzed chainmail. A glowing staff was held in one hand, and a massive axe was thrown over his shoulder as though it weighed no more than a sack of flour. 

"Clerics are versatile figures, both capable in combat and skilled in the use of divine magic," August recited from the page after a light, nudge from Bentley. "They're also powerful healers."

"See? That's perfect for you! You're always helping patch us up if we fall off our bikes," Bentley enthused, undeterred by the amused chuckles that his brother unleashed as a result of what he thought was an adorably innocent explanation. 

"Yeah, and we could use a healer on our team, especially with those two and their lack of impulse control," August snorted as he gestured to Kona and Zack, who jumped at the chance to express their indignation. 

As the group of friends returned to jovially bickering amongst themselves, Royce and Vivien's minds were quietly whirring with ideas. Ideas which, upon glancing at one another, they soon realised were all too perfectly aligned. 

"What do you say then, losers?" Kona finally asked once she'd finished fighting her ground against the boys, snapping the eighth-graders out of their heads and bringing them back to reality with a knowing smirk. "Are you playing with us or not?"

Royce, as always, left the decision to Vivien. But the hopeful glimmer in his caramel eyes, paired with her own, itching curiosity made that decision all too easy. And besides, even if she wasn't spending time alone with Royce, she was still spending time with him. And that was good enough for her.

…For now. 

"Well… I guess one game couldn't hurt, right?" she said with a smirk that soon broke out into a grin as Bentley's face lit up like a firework display. And it only grew when she glanced across at Royce for one last confirmation that she'd made the right decision, only to find him beaming with almost as much enthusiasm as his brother. 

If this nerdy little game brought Royce this much joy, and was even half as much fun as it sounded, then Vivien knew it would be worth another few hours of crippling anxiety. Besides, she hoped that she could immerse herself in the story so much that she'd forget all about her predicament with the brunet anyway. But as they took their places at the picnic table, and Royce's sneaker brushing against her shin shot a jolt of adrenaline up her leg with such a force that she almost jumped straight back out of her seat, she knew that that was just wishful thinking. Covering up the brief waver in her cool, confident exterior with a quiet cough, she tried to refocus her mind on the endless streams of information August was unleashing on the pair of them.

"-and so the group our characters all belong to is called The Circle of the Emerald Torches, but part of the first campaign is about how we get our name, so I'll explain more about that later. Before you start, and before I give you your character sheets though, if you want to be in our party then you'll need to recite the Oath of Noble Heroes so that we know you're serious about this."

"Don't worry, we had to do it too. But it's so cool, you'll love it! And then there's a declaration of loyalty for you to sign somewhere too," Bentley tagged on before the boys started animatedly babbling amongst themselves about the ins and outs of their party's rules again. 

Shaking his head at the pair, Royce took the opportunity of them being distracted to lean over to Vivien and teasingly chuckle, "What the hell have you just gotten us into?"

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the boy, knowing that his enthusiasm for the game was a major driving factor in her decision to play, and that he was also well-aware of that fact, she looked him square in the face and hid her smirk behind a deadly serious, blank expression, "I'm pretty sure we just joined a cult." 

American History, Volume 2, lay open on page 38. And it had laid there like that for the past 45 minutes, having been abandoned by its current owner almost as soon as it had been removed from their backpack. Because instead of completing the assigned history homework, the desk's occupant was using their study hall period much more wisely: by shredding a solo, courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne, on possibly the most prestigious instrument of all: the air guitar.

Ethan's eyes slid shut, and a blissful smile curled his lips as he mashed the volume button on his Walkman with practised ease. Bar after bar of 'Crazy Train' pounded through his skull at a staggering volume, rattling what little of his brain was left in the mostly vacant space between his ears, helped along by the bopping of his head in time with the song's beat. When his fingers weren't plucking out riffs on imaginary strings, they were banging out the drumline on a drum kit that was just as real as his Gibson SG. And all the while, he was passionately miming the lyrics for his audience of the pencil shavings and dust mites that hugged the wall beside his desk. 

He felt the music in his bones. The bass line pumped through his veins. Every note that was played resonated through the chambers of his heart until it felt like the song was as much a part of him as his left arm. And the deeper he let himself sink into the music, the less aware of his surroundings he became - or the less he cared to remember them anyway. Until a sharp elbow to the ribs shattered his rockstar illusions, that is. 

Bleary brown eyes met earnest, steel blue, and held nothing but confusion for the several seconds it took him to realise that Miles’ mouth was moving without making a sound. 

“What?” Ethan bellowed, prying a wailing headphone speaker away from his ears as he leaned closer to the exasperated brunet. 

“Jesus, man!” Miles exclaimed under his breath as he reached across to his friend’s Walkman to frantically turn the volume down. “Are you trying to blow your eardrums out or something?” 

“That would be pretty metal, so maybe,” Ethan chuckled, entirely unphased. But Miles’ disapproving frown soon had him rolling out an explanation. “You’ve got a front row seat for my biggest show yet and you’re choosing to lecture me about volume control? I can care about my hearing when I’m in the retirement home.”

“You’ll be lucky if you make it to a retirement home," Miles snorted. "You've got the survival skills of a two dollar house plant."

Instead of arguing back, or even rolling his eyes at his best friend's dig, Ethan just continued chuckling along in agreement as he slid his headphones down to rest around his neck - still blaring out Ozzy Osbourne's vocals, although they were only just audible over the hubbub of chatter and laughter that filled the rest of the classroom. "What were you saying before anyway?" he went on to ask. "Did you want something?"

"Yeah, the answer to number four."

"Pfft, you think I've even made it past one?" Ethan guffawed, astonished and highly amused that Miles thought highly enough of him to assume he hadn't been shirking his responsibilities all afternoon. "I've got no fucking clue. What chapter are we on again? Abraham Lincoln?"

The mix of despair and disbelief Ethan was faced with when he glanced back across at Miles told him his guess might not have been as accurate as he'd pitched it to be. "...Are we not on Abraham Lincoln?"

"We haven't done Abraham Lincoln since freshman year," Miles deadpanned before letting out a chuckle of his own. "When was the last time you actually paid attention in one of Mr Bishop's classes?"

"Probably freshman year," Ethan noted with a laugh, slumping back in his seat and starting to rock on the back two legs of the flimsy, plastic chair. "I think the only chance I've got at retaining any of the information in that textbook for this month's pop quiz is if I eat it."

The look of reproach Miles shot the carefree stoner could have fooled any passerby into thinking that he was the boy's father, but he blamed that on the past however many years of having to act as a sole parental figure for two young boys - who, on several occasions, had actually proved to be far more mature than the lank-haired brunet before him. More often than not, Ethan felt like a third child he had to keep alive. And somehow, his lack of height was not one of the driving factors behind that reasoning.

"Oh come on, don't give me that look," Ethan groaned, ever the resentful teenager in their relationship. "You've not exactly been Mr Studious yourself today."

"What are you talking about?" 

"Well you've been stuck on that same question for the last twenty minutes 'cause you keep making goo-goo eyes at you know who," Ethan smirked as Miles' eyes widened in horror and his forehead started to prickle with sweat. 

"No I don't," he indignantly tried.

"I thought you said you were over her," Ethan teased.

"I am! It's not like that anyway," Miles muttered, then added. "And it's not been twenty minutes."

"It totally has."

"How the hell would you know? You've been listening to Motorhead since we sat down."

"Yeah but my fuckin' eyes still work," Ethan snorted, hitting Miles with a loving grin that had him rolling his eyes before Ethan had even finished his sentence. And yet, the boy's frustration did nothing to deter him from probing further. "What's the stalking for this time then? You know, if you're not trying to get in her pants anymore." 

Miles was at as much of a loss as Ethan. His eyes found the head of bouncing, blonde curls with almost no effort at all (likely a result of an entire study hall period of practice), searching for some sort of answer. But all he found was a dull, fluttering in his chest. 

Even the giddy, lovestruck butterfly that had been trapped in there for months seemed to have admitted defeat. 

Still, his gaze never wavered. He watched airy laughter spill from her glossy lips, and her nose crinkle beneath brilliantly blue eyes, framed by thick, black lashes and copious amounts of mascara. Whilst before, Miles could have eaten through a movie theatre's entire popcorn supply and still want to look just a little longer, in that moment he just felt empty. And that’s when he realised it wasn't actually Carrie herself that was occupying his mind, it was everyone else around her, and how she was treating them. Plucking a proudly presented flyer for a house party from one, impishly teasing another, waving at Sharon Frye on her way out the door, firing a flirty wink in jest at Steve Harrington after giggling at one of his jokes…

Miles was certain she'd looked at every other person in that room at least once since their study hall period had begun, and yet the closest her eyes had ventured over to him was when she glanced at the clock on the wall. Every thought in his head was plagued by her smile, or her voice, or her laugh… Had he ever even crossed her mind? 

"Do you think she actually cares about us?"

Miles hadn't been able to bring himself to tear his forlorn gaze from the blonde in question, but that didn't stop Ethan from snorting out an answer. "Well yeah, I'd hope so; we spend enough time with her." 

"Not by choice," Miles huffed. 

“Well she talks to us now, and that’s more than we could have said before we worked with her, so that’s got to count for something,” Ethan chuckled. “But if this is about what I think it’s about, then she absolutely cares about you, dude. Like way more than the rest of us.”

“You really think so?” 

“Dude, it’s like you two are glued at the hip. I can’t get you away from each other for shit once we close every night,” Ethan replied. And when Miles still looked unsure, he added, “Why else do you think I always get stuck cleaning the kitchen with Mick? She hates my guts!”

“No she does not,” Miles softly chuckled.

“Well I definitely don’t think she likes me, not like Carrie likes you anyway,” he retorted with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows. “I’m telling you, man. There’s something there. There’s no way she’d laugh at your crappy jokes like she does if she didn’t at least have a little interest in you - I don’t care if Mick thinks it’s bullshit, I know I’m right.”

Miles just rolled his eyes, but a hopeful smile desperately pulled at his lips, no matter how many times he tried to dismiss it. “I don’t know, I think she probably just does it to be nice,” he mused, watching as Carrie animatedly responded to Rachel Price before turning back to resume her conversation with the girl sat beside her - the very girl that Miles still had an irrepressible urge to swap lives with: Juliet Harmon. Now faced with nothing but the back of her head, he quickly lost interest in the view. “…She seems to act like that with most people.”

“She definitely does not, man. Why do you think the entire marching band is scared to look her in the eye? She’s like one of the biggest bitches in school,” Ethan scoffed. But he paused when he realised Miles wasn’t laughing along with him. “Why does it matter how she acts around other people anyway?” 

“It doesn’t,” Miles huffed. “…Not really.” 

But the second he dared to make eye contact with his oldest friend, the floodgates opened and the truth came tumbling out. 

“I just…feel stupid for letting her get in my head, and for actually thinking that we had something special - that I was somehow different to all the other idiots who throw themselves at her to get a second of her attention. But here I am, thinking about her constantly, hanging onto every interaction we have like my fucking life depends on it, only for her to… Ugh, I don't know. I just…don't want it all to not mean anything to her, when it means so much to me - no matter how much I try to convince myself it doesn't. I mean, yeah, she's nice to me at work - really nice - but she barely even acknowledges me outside of All Skate… It's like I don't even exist, like she doesn't even realise I'm there. And it makes me feel like shit."

"She barely acknowledges anyone," Ethan absentmindedly mused. "I wouldn't take it personally."

"That's a lot easier said than done," Miles huffed dejectedly. There was something freeing about Ethan's nonchalance over Miles' feelings though; it made them feel less suffocating. And whilst he still felt entirely hopeless about the situation, he did feel a little bit of the pressure ease off as he rested his chin on his hand and let his mind start to wander. "...You think she actually considers us friends?"

"Sure; she calls us her work friends all the time."

"No but like her actual friends," Miles clarified. 

"Dude, I don't fucking know; the female mind is a mystery to me at the best of times, but hers is on a whole other level," Ethan scoffed in incredulity. "Do you not remember that like thirty minute debate I had with her about diet sodas? Actual insanity.”

Miles' quiet chuckling as he reminisced about what had started as an innocent question, yet progressed to a full-blown screaming match, with each participant equally as confused and frustrated as the other, was soon silenced by Ethan's next prompt though. "I know a way you can find out though…"

"...No!" 

"Oh come on, man. Don't be a sissy. It'll be so easy. And then you can stop getting hung up on all these bogus hypotheticals."

Miles' initial horror slowly dissipated as Ethan's reasoning started to lure out a far greater force from its hiding place in the corner of his brain: his curiosity. "...You really think I can just go up and talk to her? In class?" he asked, as his eyes once again found that jumble of golden curls. 

"Sure, why not? It's only study hall." 

Again, Ethan's nonchalance, which was only heightened by the fact that he was trying to balance a pen on his curled upper lip as he responded, did far more for Miles' confidence than any pep talk of his own could have. And besides, maybe he was onto something - maybe it really was that simple; it always was in his world. 

"It wouldn't be weird?" Miles double-checked. 

"Why would it be weird? All you're gonna do is talk to her. And we already established you two are friends, so what could go wrong?" 

Miles shuddered at the very thought. "So much."

Ethan glanced across at him, ready to fire out further encouragement like a sixth grader with a penchant for making spitballs, but when he clocked his friend's nervous fidgeting, he reconsidered his situation and gained a little clarity. "Ok…yeah, fine, stuff could go wrong. But are you gonna die?" he proposed.

"No," Miles begrudgingly mumbled.

"Are you gonna break something?"

"No, but-"

"Then how bad can it be?" Ethan cut in with a lopsided, optimistic grin before Miles could tie himself up in any more self-conscious knots. "Just get over there and scratch that itch that's been bugging you for weeks; it's not gonna stop until you do. And you'll feel so much better after."

It took Miles by surprise every time it happened, but yet again, it seemed as though Ethan might actually be…right. This question of Carrie's loyalty had been eating away at him for weeks now. And, as he'd stressed earlier, it was making him feel shittier and shittier with every day he let it drag on. Asking her outright was a definite way to get his answer… It was just going to require him growing some balls, as anything to do with All Skate's resident disc jockey apparently made his own shrink to the size of peas.

"...Just walk over and talk to her?" Miles checked. Although, between us, he was just stalling to give himself more time to muster some courage.

"Yeah, as a friend," Ethan confirmed. 

"You really think I can pull that off?" Miles asked with a dubious, but hopeful quirk of his eyebrow that had Ethan melting like a bomb pop that had been left out in the 4th of July sun.

"Absolutely," he grinned, totally enamoured by his friend's giddy trepidation, and the promise of a relationship he so steadfastly defended. "She's got a major soft spot for you, man. I see it like every night," he went on to reassure. "There's no way she's gonna blow you off. You'll be fine."

And as a result of that dopey grin, complemented by the ratty, chestnut locks, and vacant, dark chocolate eyes… Miles believed him. 

"...Ok, I'm going in," he breathed through a determined smile. 

"Atta boy," Ethan chuckled, fist-bumping Miles before tipping his chair back onto all four of its legs again, as though to signal the resolution of their predicament. "Go scratch that itch," he added, finishing their little handshake with a bolstering point before lifting his headphones back over his ears and disappearing back into his wildest rock star fantasies - totally oblivious to the disaster about to unfold right behind him as Miles took a deep breath and waded into the wild, uncharted waters of the female mindset. 

"So now that we know that y=7, we plug that into this side of the function, that we've already simplified, to give us this…which then means that we can carry this over here, giving us x=3." 

…Silence.

"Right?" Juliet checked, although the satisfied smile that had settled on her carnation pink lips as soon as she finished the sum was beginning to falter into one of desperation as she turned to her tutee. "Did you follow along ok that time?"

But all Juliet was met with was a glassy stare and an infatuated grin, smushed between two fists as its owner rested their chin on their palms. "You're so smart, Julie," Carrie breathed. 

Juliet just rolled her eyes, although she did little to hide the bashful blush tickling her cheeks. “Never mind that, did you understand how I worked it out that time?” 

"...Kind of?" Carrie tried, offering a lopsided, hopeful grin to try to lessen the blow.

If Juliet's exasperated huff was anything to go by though: it didn't work. But her frustration dissolved the second that she met Carrie's gaze. "Where did I lose you?" she asked with a gentle, patient sigh. 

"The whole reversing the function bit," Carrie admitted as she bit her lip and braced herself for Juliet's reaction. Although the blonde's expression never wavered, the dismay that flashed in her eyes soon had Carrie barrelling through an explanation. "I swear I was getting it before that this time, but then it all started to sound like you were talking in another language, and then I got distracted by that pretty way you write out the 'x' again, and then I just…"

"...Stopped listening all together?" Juliet teasingly offered with a fond smirk.

Carrie scoffed in mock-defence. "No, I listened the whole time, I just stopped taking it in," she went on to clarify. But as soon as she drew a giggle from Juliet's lips she melted into that same infatuated grin from earlier as she admitted, "I'd never stop listening to you. You know I could listen to you talk for hours."

"Even about algebra?" Juliet teasingly tested with an affectionate smile of her own. 

"Of course about algebra," Carrie gushed with a glittering honesty that soon had Juliet giggling again. "Believe it or not, this is the most I've ever understood a math module," she carried on, straightening up in her seat to help give her point a little more credibility, before tagging on a jovial, "And it's all thanks to you, smarty pants."

"Would you stop calling me that? It's so lame," Juliet protested, hiding her smile behind a frank eye roll. "And besides, I'm not that smart." 

"You so are; you're like the smartest person I know," Carrie gushed, never one to let her friends downplay their successes, much to Juliet's disgruntlement. The blonde's frown didn't deter Carrie from continuing to lovingly babble straight through her stream of consciousness though. "That brain of yours has to be huge - no wonder you get headaches all the time, it's because it doesn't have enough space in there."

Carrie's knack for making herself giggle never failed to make Juliet smile, but yet again she found herself trying to cover it up with a bashful roll of her hazel irises as she let out a sigh and attempted to get their conversation back on track. "You wanna try another question then?" 

"Don't try to change the subject," Carrie fired back with a mischievous grin. 

"I'm not, you are!" Juliet retorted, biting back an incredulous laugh. "We're supposed to be doing algebra, not Juliet 101."

Carrie's mischievous grin only broadened. "Now that's a class I might actually get an A in."

Rolling her eyes for the third time at her best friend's antics, Juliet teasingly tried, "What? Not an A+?"

"Maybe," Carrie smirked. "But then again, I might get distracted by my teacher." Her wiggling eyebrows soon had Juliet reprimanding her and attempting to draw her focus back to her school work, but Carrie's mind was already wandering off too far down a different path altogether. "...Do you think you'd ever wanna be a doctor, Julie?" 

The comment, that fell slap-bang in the middle of Juliet's offer to rewrite the steps of the previous algebra equation, baffled her into silence - so taken aback by the suggestion that she almost thought she'd misheard the golden-haired girl. "What? No," she spluttered, looking at Carrie as though she'd just sprouted a third nose. "Where did that come from?"

Juliet's confusion didn't seem to faze Carrie though, because her dreamy smile stuck it out through her whole, rambling explanation. "I don't know, I just figured you should use your big brain for a job one day. You know, like one that actually actually makes you think instead of just like a working a cash register, or stacking books or something. And you need to be super smart to be a doctor, so…"

Juliet was quick to shoot down Carrie's optimistic grin. "I do not have what it takes to be a doctor, trust me."

"Sure you do," Carrie defended. "I'd let you be my doctor."

"Oh well then hand me my diploma," Juliet sarcastically replied, once more fondly rolling her eyes and chuckling at her best friend's enamoured stare and incessant bolstering. 

"I'm serious," Carrie pressed on though, determined to get through to Juliet despite her doubtful smirk. "I'd trust you with my life, you know I would. I'd let you save my life any day of the week," she grinned. But, after giggling to herself and absentmindedly twirling her pencil between her fingers, when she finally latched onto Juliet's hazel gaze again, only to find it significantly less jovial, it was her turn to express her confusion. "What? You don't believe me?" she teasingly challenged, with a quirk of an eyebrow. 

But Juliet still didn't seem to be in the mood to joke back, as her lips fell in line with the horizon and her gaze darted to Carrie's right before finding her again. 

Ok, now Carrie was really confused. 

"Huh?" she murmured, clearly not as in tune with her best friend's thoughts as she assumed she was. 

However, this time, Juliet flicked her eyes to Carrie's right with a touch more resolve, and paired it with a slight, but very purposeful nod of her head in the same direction. And finally, Carrie seemed to get the message. 

Following Juliet's line of sight, Carrie turned to look over her shoulder, only to find herself face to face with a person that almost caught her off guard as much as Juliet's sudden shift in dynamic had. "Oh," was the first word to jump from her lips, startling her back into what Juliet lovingly dubbed as 'show-mode' as she rolled her shoulders back and fixed a brilliant smile to her face. "Hey, Miles."

The second that Carrie acknowledged Miles, any confidence he'd managed to trick himself into conjuring fled. And whilst he had a Herculean urge to do the same, he too plastered what he hoped was a convincing smile to his face as he finished his approach to the blondes' shared desk. "Hey, Carrie," he said, breathing a sigh of relief for even managing to get the words out. And yet, he still pushed a little further to add, with a nod of acknowledgement too, "Juliet." 

The entertained smirk that started pulling at the corner of Juliet's lips in response caught him off guard, and he felt his stomach gently clench in defence. But he chose to ignore it, returning his gaze to Carrie's bright smile - its familiarity putting him back at ease and igniting that usual fire in his chest that sent warmth spreading throughout his- 

Wait, why was she turning back around? 

"Right, where were we?" Carrie said, dazzling Juliet with a grin as she readied her pencil on the page. "I've got a good feeling about this next one; I think if you just take it slow-."

"Ahem," Juliet interrupted. Her gaze caught Carrie's once again and held onto it for a beat before she tilted her head forwards, signalling with her eyes that there was still something - or rather, someone - behind her. The confusion, almost disbelief, swimming in Carrie's eyes made Juliet have to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing, and locking onto Miles' look of bewildered dismay just made it even harder. But luckily, Carrie was quickly able to decipher her visual message once again, with little prompting this time.

Turning around to find that, to her surprise, Miles hadn't just been greeting her as he passed by her desk, he was, in fact, standing there - well, expectantly shuffling from foot to foot anyway - Carrie remounted her smile. Although now, Miles realised, it wasn't so welcoming. It felt almost…uncomfortable.  

"Oh, sorry. Did you want something?" she offered. 

He did - desperately so. And yet, he felt as though the sudden shift in tone had already started to write out his answer. 

The hairs on the back of his neck started to twitch as the walls of his stomach steadily closed in tighter. But, determined to stand by his heart, and prove to himself (and Mick) that his feelings weren't all built on fantasies he'd created in his head, he brushed the unease away and stood his ground. "No, not really. I just thought I'd…stop by…see how it's going."

Carrie's smile faltered again, giving way to further confusion. "...See how what's going?"

"...Study hall?" Miles said. But the response came out as more of a question than an answer, which he supposed was down to the fact that he wasn't even sure of it himself. And despite his hopeful grin, which he feared was now looking more like a grimace, he couldn't seem to stop trying to rub the growing discomfort from the back of his neck. 

God, he hoped that he didn't have any sweat stains. 

"Oh, uh, it's going fine," Carrie politely replied. Although her awkward fidgeting with her pencil's eraser told a different story. "We're just going through the algebra homework."

It was weird; it wasn't as though the conversation was making her seem 'off', it was like…the very fact he was talking to her was so distracting she couldn't settle. She was the centre of Miles' universe. And apparently he was just an asteroid in hers: a misshapen hunk of space rock, hurtling past in the blink of an eye, and completely blindsiding her with his very insignificant existence. 

A fellow asteroid must have collided with him at some point, because he could feel this weird twinge in his chest, by his heart, almost as though the impact had chipped a corner off. He swallowed thickly, pushing the creeping discomfort away. "The one for Mr Moreno's class?" 

"Mhm," Carrie confirmed with a nod. 

"Oh, nice…" Miles trailed off with an awkward chuckle and what he feared was now looking like a rather desperate smile. And he was sure his expression only got worse when his gaze was pulled off-course by Juliet, who gave him a look that made him want to give up altogether. How her hazel irises had managed to harness the ability to hiss 'you are totally blowing this' in his ear, he had no idea. And yet, the urge to prove her (and everyone else) wrong gave him the motivation to plough on. "Well, if you still need any help with it later, I don't mind going through some of the answers with you at wo-"

"It's alright," Carrie bluntly cut in, slicing out a chunk of Miles' self-esteem as she did so. "Julie's got it covered," she added, turning to dazzle the blonde with a brilliant grin. 

By the time that grin made its way around to Miles though, it felt cold. And it seemed suppressed, like she hadn't really wanted him to see it. What he feared was the beginnings of a smirk were tugging at the corners of her lips too. And whilst he wanted to believe that it wasn't at his expense - some cruel inside joke the pair of blondes had whispered with their oh-so talkative eyes in the second that Carrie's back was turned - something in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise. 

"Thanks though," Carrie lazily tacked on, with a brightness in her tone that just felt hollow to Miles now. 

"No problem," he breathed. But there was a problem, and he was staring right at her.

Miles tried to find it in him to mean the smile he sent her, but he just couldn't. Somehow, what was supposed to have been a simple conversation between 'friends' had left him feeling more insecure than ever. Why was she so difficult to talk to? And was she making it so difficult? If they'd been at All Skate, cleaning the rink after their shift, he'd have had no trouble talking to her - their conversations flowed like the Mississippi River when it was just the two of them. And yet here, he felt like he was trying to coax water out of a rusty garden tap in the peak of a summer drought. 

He couldn't find the words to piece together what he wanted to ask - he didn't think such a sentence existed, not one that he could construct anyway. Carrie seemed hellbent on getting rid of him, which did nothing for his creeping fear that she was only nice to him at work because she had no other option for company. And the damn heat radiating from Juliet's pitying smirk had so much sweat running down his back he contemplated running to the nearest bathroom to wring out his underwear. 

And somehow, those glittering, sky blue eyes of hers still threw him a line - a glimmer of hope to cling to. After all, she'd surprised him before - countless times - maybe she'd be able to do it again.

Just as Miles was moving to open his mouth to try one last time though, he was beaten to it. 

"Was there anything else you wanted? Or was that it?" 

Any hopes of a redemption for the blonde were snatched from Miles' grasp, and the reality of it felt like a punch to the gut. Thoroughly deflated, he accepted his fate with a heavy sigh. It may not have been the outcome he wanted, but at least he had an answer now, and there was a silver lining to that, he supposed. 

"...No," he breathed through a forlorn, but relieved smile. "That was…that was all."

Miles felt he must have imagined the concern that flickered in Carrie's gaze - wishful thinking, he supposed - because the airy giggle and laidback grin she flashed him certainly didn't marry up with it. "Oh, alright then. See you later!" she chirped with a wave as he started the walk of shame back to his desk. Again, just as he was turning back to offer a farewell of his own though, she managed to get her words in first. "Don't forget your thick socks."

Miles stopped in his tracks. Now he was more confused than ever. The cheeky glint in her eyes, the knowing smile, the reference to a throwaway joke from their closing shift last night… Everything he'd just come to terms with about her vehement disinterest in him had been called into question with those five, simple words, and a wink that just about made his heart stop.

…Maybe she did really care after all. 

With his heart leaping up from its dejected slumber, Miles shot her a grateful smile and chuckled an earnest, "I won't." Breathing out a contented sigh, mind already racing with ways to talk to her about this more that evening, Miles finally felt his shoulders relax as he raised the hand that had been rubbing the back of his neck his whole time. "See you la-"

Nevermind, she'd already turned around to talk to Juliet again. 

Again the brunet was flummoxed. The only thing he felt truly confident about as he slunk back to his desk was the very thing he'd been warned of before wading into that mess: the female mind was a mystery. And he had never felt further from figuring it out.

Turning back to Juliet, Carrie couldn't help but shake her head and chuckle under her breath. "That was weird," she noted, tilting her head in the direction of her retreating co-worker.

But Juliet's eyes had never left the bumbling brunet. "Mmm… He's kind of cute," she mused. Although her prompting smirk was lost on her tutee, since her sapphire gaze was immediately pulled to the back of Miles' head.  

"Yeah." Carrie's breathed response fell from her lips with startling ease, so much so that it even surprised herself. Hoping to catch it before it slipped into Juliet's ears though, she shook the starry-eyed gaze from her head and scrambled together a cover-up. "Uh, yeah? I can try to set the two of you up if you want. You know, put in a good word at work and stuff." 

If she expected Juliet to accept her optimistic offer with open arms though, she was soon proved wrong.

"Yeah something tells me he's not interested in me," she snorted.

Carrie looked at her, perplexed. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't he be? You're like a total babe."

"Oh come on, Carrie. Please tell me you know that he's got a major crush on you," Juliet said with an almost disapproving frown. "Like major major."

Carrie scoffed at the accusation. "It's not major," she tried, rolling her eyes in a further attempt to downplay the gravity of what Juliet was implying. 

"Carrie," Juliet pressed as she knitted her brows. "The guy could barely speak."

Caving under the blonde's hardened gaze, Carrie let out a resentful huff. "Ok fine, so he's got a little crush," she finally conceded. "What's so bad about that? It's not like anything's gonna happen; he knows I've got a boyfriend."

"Mhm… And what does Eric have to say about Miles?"

Carrie rolled her eyes so hard Juliet thought for a second that they might never come back down again. "Why does it matter?" she groaned, her skin prickling with irritation. 

"Well he's not exactly got the best track record when it comes to being understanding about you hanging out with other guys," Juliet sighed, with a sneaking suspicion that her tutee's frustration had been triggered by the mention of her boyfriend's name alone: a welcome sign that their relationship was as healthy as ever. Not.

Carrie scoffed as a bitter scowl settled into place. "It's not like I'm 'hanging out with him', we just work together. I barely talk to him during my shift anyway, only when we're clearing stuff up at the end."

"Oh yeah?" Juliet started, curiosity piqued. "And what happens then?"

"Nothing!" Carrie insisted. "We just talk - you know me, I can't keep my mouth shut even when I want to, so of course I'm gonna talk to the guy." Letting out a sigh to try to blow off some steam, she softened under Juliet's gaze and allowed the blonde to lead her through her haze of thoughts. And if Juliet's gentle nudge in the right direction wasn't already enough to do the trick, one glance at Miles' retreating form completely burst the dam. "We've been talking for like the whole last hour of every shift since I started - about school, movies, whatever really - it's like the only thing in that dump that's worth sticking around for. I kind of just did it because I was bored out of my mind at the start, but turns out he's actually really fun, and sweet too - you wouldn't believe some of the stuff he does for his little brothers, Julie; I've literally gone and cried in the break room before after he was telling me about it. It's that cute." 

"You cry at everything," Juliet countered with a fond, teasing chuckle. 

"Oh come on, not everything," Carrie retorted. Naively hoping that their conversation on the matter had ended there, she let her eyes settle on Juliet's again, only for them to inch open the floodgates once more with a simple bat of her lashes and a tilt of her head. "We just talk and…goof around," she tentatively began - defensive, despite her nonchalance. "You know, make each other laugh about weird things customers have said, or stupid things we did. It's not like we're fooling around or anything. And before you say it, because I know that face: no, I am not leading him on. It's all totally platonic, I swear."

"Ok…" Juliet softly trailed off, taking a moment to choose her words before raising her next point. "Does Miles know it's all 'totally platonic'?"

Carrie let out a groan of despair, as she always did when her best friend lovingly lectured her. "I don't know, Jules. I'm not a mindreader. He's not grabbed my ass or spiked my water bottle, if that's what you're getting at," she grumbled, before promising, "I've got it all under control, I swear."

Somehow, Juliet didn't seem to be buying it; as impervious to Carrie's confident charm as ever. 

"So Eric's totally chill about this whole thing with Miles?" she tested, arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow.  

"He knows I work with him…" Carrie mumbled.

Juliet nodded understandingly - almost too understandingly - in Carrie's periphery. 

"...And does he know how he makes you feel?"

Daring to challenge Juliet's calculated point with ignorant defiance, Carrie whirled around to meet the blonde's smug expression with a gasp of indignation, and an argument that fell away the second she realised that she didn't have a single word in her head to back it up with. Admitting defeat, she sighed and let her body slump, along with her hopes of her vindication in her best friend's hazel eyes. "Ok, yeah, fine. I know Miles has a crush on me," she confessed. Although the guilt laced into her words steadily morphed into hurt the more she tried to defend herself. "And yeah, I do lean into it sometimes because it makes me feel good about myself. Is that really so bad? Is it such a bad thing to want someone to be extra nice to you for once? Or to give you some positive attention?" 

"No, of course not," Juliet assured, assuming a fierce determination of her own. "I just think your boyfriend should be able to do all those things and more, and clearly he's not."

Carrie sighed, exhausted by the very thought of him. "This isn't about Eric."

Juliet sighed back, exasperated by her best friend's submissiveness, especially when she was usually so domineering. "How can you still want to defend him, Carrie?"

"Because, I love him, Julie," Carrie replied, finally finding the contented smile the thought of him should have immediately slapped on her face. "And because he's a good guy."

"Really? Because he's been nothing but a dick to you lately," Juliet flatly countered, hoping that with a little pushing her friend would see sense. 

"We've just had a couple of arguments, it's not a big deal," Carrie casually defended. "And they're all resolved now, so I don't know what you still have to complain about."

"Just because you had make-up sex does not mean that the problems were resolved," Juliet rolled her eyes before fixing the golden-haired girl with a more earnest look. "Did he actually apologise this time?"

"We talked it out first-"

"Did he apologise?"

Carrie squirmed under Juliet's gaze before muttering a reluctant, "No."

"Ugh," Juliet groaned, rolling her eyes again as she wound up to unleash a rant she'd been working up to for weeks. But, to her dismay, Carrie's defences beat her to it.

"Neither of us did, really. We just agreed to forget it and move on."

"How is that resolving anything?" Juliet asked with an annoyed frown that Carrie was starting to take personally. 

"Well I hadn't thought about it until now, so it must have at least kind of worked," she attempted to justify. 

But Juliet's nettled scoff told her that her stance on the matter wasn't budging. "You and Eric might as well speak two different languages; I've seen a pig and a fly communicate better than you two." 

The comment drew a giggle from Carrie's lips before she could stop it. "Don't try to distract me with your cute, Southern lingo," she said as the amused smile settled on her face and she affectionately bumped her friend's arm - the act bringing both their tempers back down to Earth. Before Juliet could launch into another lecture though, Carrie hoped to diffuse the situation once and for all. "Anyway, we worked it all out and everything's back to normal," she said. Although Juliet's questioning glance made her correct herself, "Better than normal. In fact, we're going to go look for Halloween costumes together this weekend," she finished with an optimistic grin. 

Now that was an improvement. For the first time since they'd sat down, Juliet found herself pleasantly surprised. "The Barbie and Ken costume's back on? I'm impressed. You two really must be getting along." Knowing how excited Carrie had been about the idea, she couldn't help but smile at the prospect of it finally coming into fruition. 

"Oh no, the Ken idea's long gone. I think he's going as a firefighter or something now."

Juliet's optimism shattered in a split second, and yet she stayed frozen in place, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "...You're kidding, right?"

"No, but I don't really mind. I'll just find something else to go as," Carrie sighed through a small, indifferent smile. If she'd spotted the disgust hidden in Juliet's eyes after her last revelation, she chose to ignore it. "It'll be fun getting to plan out my own costume anyway; I've got so many more options now. And plus, the Barbie one was only gonna be a pain in the ass to-"

"You're not even doing a couples one?" Juliet asked, far too concerned with what she was learning to care about hearing out Carrie's excuses. 

"He thinks couples costumes are lame," she explained with a huff. "Or at least that's what Adam told him anyway. He said he wanted to just do his own thing."

"But Carrie, you've been excited about doing a joint costume with him for like a whole year."

"So?" Carrie asked, with an eyebrow quirk of her own, shoving the accusation aside as though she was kicking an ice cube under the refrigerator. "It's just a dumb Halloween party, it doesn't matter what we wear; everyone will probably be too drunk to even pay attention anyway."

"Yeah, but it matters that he doesn't care about stuff that's important to you. He never has, and it's selfish, Carrie - super selfish…" Juliet trailed off with a frustrated sigh, praying that she might finally get the ditzy DJ to see sense. "You need to stop defending his shitty behaviour."

"And do what?" Carrie mumbled, unknowingly giving Juliet just what she wanted: a chance to unleash her anger with the infantile blond bozo and the mockery of a relationship he had roped her best friend into.

"Hold him accountable," she urged, hazel eyes blazing with passion. "Relationships should not have to revolve around making excuses and placating your partner with blow jobs - it's a fucking joke. I don't care about all the 'good times' you guys have, or all the memories you've made; the way you've been treating each other lately is appalling, and you deserve way better," she said, pausing to let Carrie absorb everything she'd just thrown at her before delivering the finishing blow. "And I know you know that too, because you're already looking for it in someone else."

Carrie's blood stilled in her veins. Sometimes it scared her how deeply Juliet understood her, and other times it felt comforting. This was not one of those times. 

She took in a slow, shuddering breath as Juliet's words seeped into her skin, carrying a deep sense of guilt with them. As much as she wanted to denounce Juliet's observations and stand by her own, joyously declaring her undying love for her boyfriend at the top of her lungs…her mouth made no attempt to move from its crestfallen frown. It couldn't, because she knew she was wrong. 

The despondency in the blonde's vacant, blue eyes soon drew Juliet down from her soap box though. This time she approached with a gentle, almost apologetic, smile as she entwined their fingers and began rubbing circles into the back of her tanned hand with the pad of her thumb. "I just want what's best for you, Car," she quietly promised. 

"I know," Carrie murmured, mustering a grateful smile as she squeezed her hand back, as though to say a 'thank you' her mouth wasn't quite ready to commit to yet. "I'm fine, Julie, I swear," she went on to profess. But when she started to get a sneaking suspicion that the statement wasn't all that convincing, she decided to switch up her tactic. "Now can we please get back to algebra?" 

The genuine laughter that tumbled from Juliet's lips was music to Carrie's ears. "There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear you say," Juliet chuckled as she picked up her pencil again. 

"I'll do anything to get us talking about something else," Carrie admitted with a woeful chuckle of her own. "And besides, I think I've got a better chance of wrapping my head around this than anything to do with my love life at the moment."

"Boyfriends suck, huh?" Juliet snorted with a knowing smirk.

"Try all boys suck," Carrie countered with a smirk of her own, at last feeling as though some of her signature confidence was leaching back into her frame. Although the pair's giggles took a few seconds to die back down, a mischievous glint remained in Carrie's eyes before she let them glaze over in thought. Mind idly wandering down untrodden paths, a wistful sigh escaped alongside a rogue proposal. "Wouldn't it make life so much easier if we could take them out of the equation altogether?"

Carrie was too lost in thought to notice, but the words that left her mouth forced an entire systems reboot in Juliet's brain. She had to do a double take, certain that she must have misheard her, or had at least missed the joking undertone. But no, the glassy, pensive blue irises held nothing but sincerity. And that confused Juliet more than ever. Her mind whirred with possible explanations for the brainless musings that definitely didn't sound as though they came from a girl in a committed, heterosexual relationship, but before she dared to question her on any, a tanned hand, the size of a frying pan, pulled her prospective interview subject right out of her seat. 

Carrie's eyes widened as she was whisked into a pair of cotton-clad arms the size of tree trunks, hardly able to catch her breath before it was being exchanged for someone else's. A faintly stubbled smile pressed into hers several times before she fully regained her bearings and was able to catch the frying pan hand from travelling too far south of her waist. "Eric," she giggled once she finally managed to inch their lips far enough apart to mumble a greeting against his skin. A subsequent flurry of kisses kept her from elaborating any further though. It was a wonder they didn't pass out from lack of air. 

"Hi, beautiful," he eventually greeted with a smitten grin. But their lips didn't stay apart for long as the dopey quarterback seemed hellbent on keeping his coated in his girlfriend's saliva. "You have a good study hall?" he mumbled, nuzzling his nose against hers. His roaming fingers shattered any hope of his interest in her life being genuine though.

Even if Carrie had wanted to answer Eric's question, his tongue was shoved so far down her throat she couldn't get her words out. "Eric," she finally gasped, jerking her head back from his with a breathy laugh as she felt his thumb start to lift the hem of her cheerleading skirt. "You're gonna get us both detention." 

"I can't help it," he chuckled, pulling her back towards him for another seemingly endless stream of kisses. "I missed you." And whilst a stupefied grin played at his constantly interlocking lips, something didn't feel quite right with Carrie. Her kisses were lazy, almost reluctant, and whilst her body normally felt like putty between his palms, today it felt…stiff. She seemed distracted. And because Eric's head was only ever swimming with thoughts of her, this worried him. "Hey," he gently prompted, nudging her chin with his knuckle to bring her gaze up to meet his. "Everything ok?"

Carrie's breath stuck in her throat, too scared of getting caught in the crossfire of two sets of brown eyes to dare to leave. Eric's sat beneath a pair of thick, furrowed brows, marred with insecure concern, and she could feel Juliet's boring holes into the back of her skull, begging her to remember everything they’d just spoken about. Tensions were high in her usually spacious brain - thoughts flying back and forth too quickly for her to make sense of as she tried to let her conscience guide her in the right direction. And although she felt herself inching towards a blonde ponytail-bolstered confession, her conscience's valiant efforts were all for naught. Carrie's fingers found purchase in the bristly blond hairs at the nape of Eric's neck, her cheeks were dusted in the scent of spearmint and the sweaty must from his football helmet. The profound warmth of his embrace seeped into her bones, and she curled up into it like a cat in the glow of fireplace embers - helpless to resist. "Everything's great," she promised, drawn in by the comfort of familiarity. "I just missed you too."

Disappointed, but not surprised by her best friend's decision, Juliet sighed as she tore her gaze away from the stomach-churning couple and began gathering together her and Carrie's things. She'd get through to her eventually, she had faith in the pit of her steadily grumbling gut. She just needed to be patient…or to find something that could drive a wedge between them once and for all.

"Ethan!" 

The pint-size pothead almost jumped out of his skin at the barked greeting, which actually felt more like an accusation than a 'hello'. He didn't know what was more offensive, the girl's tone or the fact that she'd interrupted his concert-for-one. 

"Jesus, Mick! You scared the shit outta me!" he cried. 

Rolling her eyes, Mick let go of the headphone speaker she'd had to pry away from Ethan's ear after he'd blatantly ignored her fifth call of his name, letting it thwack the side of his head. The look on his face as he recoiled in bewilderment did have a faint smile tugging at her lips though. But it soon disappeared when he slumped back in his seat and readied himself to tune her out again. 

Moving to stand in front of his desk, Mick didn't give him a chance. "Where's Miles?" 

"What?" Ethan squeaked.

"Where's Miles?" she reiterated, crossing her arms across her chest and nodding at the empty seat beside him.

"He's talking to Carrie," he revealed with a blasé wave of his hand in the vague direction of the pair.

Even with AC/DC blasting through his headphones, Ethan swore he heard Mick's face crack.

"He's doing what now?" she demanded, flames roaring in the mahogany logs that made up her irises. 

"He's just asking her something, it's no big deal," Ethan said - although his attempts to reassure the brunette were ham-handed at best given his lazy grin and total lack of concern. 

This was further backed up by Mick's growing urge to strangle him. "Can I not trust you to do anything?" she hissed. 

"What did I do?" Ethan squawked in indignation.

"Nothing - that's the problem! All you had to do was keep his mind off her-" 

"I don't know what fucking mind-control powers you think I've got, Mick, but that was a bogus plan in the first place."

"Oh so what? You just weren't gonna go along with it at all?" Mick scoffed. "I just said to try to keep him distracted."

"And I tried, so I don't know what you're getting all pissy at me for," Ethan retorted. "What's so wrong with him talking to her anyway? I thought 'working through your feelings' was supposed to be a good thing."

Scowling at him for using her own advice against her, she snapped, "Talking to her is not helping him distance himself from her." But when her eyes scanned the room for that familiar mop of coffee brown hair, the sight it settled on made her heart drop to her collegiate green Campuses. "And neither is a run-in with Eric Brennan."

Trailing back to his seat, muttering to himself about the mystifying female mindset and what the hell all of that could have meant, Miles soon realised he wasn't looking where he was going when he collided with what felt like a wall of meat. 

"Shit, sorry," he muttered.

When he looked up and saw who it was that had almost knocked him off his feet though, he realised his assumption hadn't been too far off.

"Woah, watch it, man," Eric guffawed.

The amused twinkle in his eye, and the smirk that blossomed as soon as his gaze landed on him, made Miles' stomach twist. Something told him that this interaction wasn't going to be nearly as quick as he'd hoped. 

"Miles, right?" Eric went on to ask, eyebrow cocked in recognition. 

"Uh, yeah," Miles stammered, although he was more confused than concerned at this point. 

"Why you in such a hurry, bud? You got somewhere to be?" he continued, a charming smirk still sitting proudly on his chiselled jaw. 

"I'm just going back to my seat."

"Oh yeah?" Eric probed, steadily turning up the pressure. "And why were you out of it?"

Miles immediately regretted the exasperated huff that fell from his lips, but he couldn't help his frustration. "Why does it matter?" 

To Miles' surprise, the jock didn't snap back at his remark - there was no sign of meat-headed defensiveness at all. Instead, the guy just laughed. "It doesn't," he reassured with a jovial smile. "I just thought I'd ask 'cause, you know, from here it kind of looked like you were going over there to talk to my girlfriend." 

Any relief that jovial smile had filled Miles with steadily leaked out as Eric's words sunk in. "I was just asking her about our work schedule," he explained with a careful, albeit tight smile of his own. 

"Yeah?" Eric tested.

"...Yeah," Miles confirmed. Although he could feel his bravery slowly shrinking under the hulking weight of Eric's arched eyebrow, he stood his ground, hoping that a nonchalant tone and a set of squared shoulders was enough to convince the dopey blond.

"Oh well, that's a relief," he said with another booming guffaw. Miles' wishes were seemingly granted as the warning smirk slipped from Eric's face, replaced with a laidback grin. "There I was thinking you might have been trying to make a move on her or something."

Miles managed to eke out a chuckle, more at his own expense than anything. "I wouldn't do that, man," he promised through a freshly starched smile. "I know you're both very happy together."

Eric's shit-eating grin must have been powered by at least three AAs with the way it lit up his face. "That we are, my man," he proudly proclaimed. "And that's good to hear 'cause I know you spend a lot of time with her at the end of your shifts, and she says you two get along super well, so I'd hate to think that you were getting the wrong idea or-"

"Not at all," Miles assured, cutting the blond off before he could drive the knife any further into his chest. Fixing a plastic smile to his face to cover up the wistful sigh that escaped between his teeth, he delivered an admittedly painful, "We're just friends."

Eric's rich brown eyes seemed to scan every inch of Miles for any sign of a lie before he proceeded, and the brunet's lack of acting skills left him squirming like a worm on a hook as a result. But the satisfied grin that soon surfaced, dropping the tensed shoulders to help it rise, told Miles the quarterback probably needed an eye test. 

"Good," Eric said with a contented sigh. "'Cause you and I both know that it'd be stupid to think anything else, right?" he went on to cockily taunt. "Like, no offence, but she'd have to be fucking insane to choose you over me… Right, Miles?" 

Although his ego was severely bruised, to save his face from meeting the same fate, Miles forced himself to maintain a smile, albeit reluctantly. "Right," he confirmed.

"That's what I thought," Eric smirked, finally satisfied that Miles had taken enough of an emotional pounding if his lazy grin and affectionate arm bump was anything to go by. "Alright, nice talk, bro. I might catch you tonight if I drop by to see her, ok?"

"I'll be there," Miles verified with a strained sigh. Finally daring to drop his gaze from the sturdy blond, he made his escape without so much as a goodbye.  

Apparently Eric thought he could take a little advice on the road with him though. 

"Remember, watch yourself, Murphy," he hollered.

But the words didn't even register with Miles, because the swift shove between his shoulder blades was so jarring his entire focus was dragged to keeping himself upright. 

Miles kept his eyes trained on the scuffed linoleum as he hastily lumbered back over to his desk, cheeks burning with self-hatred as he tried to push Eric’s no doubt smirking face out of his mind. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice that he finally dared to lift his head again. 

“Are you ok?” Mick asked, expression overrun with an almost frantic concern. “What was that about?”

“I’m fine,” Miles brushed off, retrieving his threadbare backpack from its spot, slumped on the floor in one swoop. Haphazardly shoving the books from his desk into the main compartment, he mumbled a quick, “Can we just go?” 

But Ethan’s glassy-eyed intrigue held him firmly in place. “Yo, what happened, man? Did he bust you for flirting with her?” 

“No,” Miles sighed, wearily shaking his head at the stoner’s excitement. 

“Did you flirt with her?” he pressed. 

"No, I just- ugh," Miles huffed, quickly giving up on trying to explain the situation he didn't even fully understand himself. "It doesn't matter. Let's just go."

"I told you to just forget about her," Mick sighed. 

"Yeah, well, that's a lot easier said than done, Mick," Miles retorted, returning her disapproving frown with a defensive one of his own. 

"Did you at least get some closure?" Ethan offered as he rose from his desk - partly from curiosity, partly to try to prove a point to Mick. 

Whilst Miles' tongue instinctively prepared to shoot Ethan's optimism down, his brain jumped in to tell it to hold fire. And after a few, brief seconds recalling the interaction, his answer soon changed. "Actually, I kind of did," he admitted with a chuckle of incredulity. 

"You gonna try to talk about it more with her tonight then?" Ethan asked, smirking to himself at Mick's look of disbelief. 

"Fuck no," Miles snorted with a nonchalance that took both of his friends by surprise. "I just want to forget it ever happened- just…move on."

"From her?" Mick asked, trying to hide the hopeful edge in her tone with a gentle smile.

Sparing the blonde in question one last glance over his shoulder, only to catch the tail end of her and Eric getting pulled up for their excessive PDA by their (up until now) entirely uninterested study hall supervisor, he let out a wistful sigh. A chorus of voices swelled in his head - Mick's, Ethan's, Carrie's, Eric's - each one telling a different side to the same story. He couldn't have picked one to listen to if he'd tried. So, in the end, his own took over, steering his heart down a path that promised the least damage in the long term, and that Carrie's indifferent dismissal of him had already forged in his mind. "...That's the goal."

[gyoobies]

By Your Side

Pairing: Doyoung x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst lite, fluff, Smut (very brief)

Warnings:  🛑Minors DNI, unprotected sex (Bag before you shag) 

Summary: You’re tired of investing your time into dating people that aren't looking for what you’re looking for, and your assistant is tired of you not seeing what's right in front of you.

JSYK... Kinda proofed, Kinda not, you already know what it is 😅 I’m just glad I was able to finally get something posted lol! I’ve been so busy 😓

Part of the reason you had hired Doyoung as your assistant was because he seemed so pleasant and easy-going; you felt having  someone with a cheerful, driven and mellow energy like that around would surely keep you on your toes. In the 5 months that Doyoung worked for you he never once complained, procrastinated, or refused any task you presented to him. So it seemed odd that your typical ball of sunshine assistant had suddenly become so dreary.  You had noticed the small changes in his demeanor a couple weeks back but figured the gray skies of winter was probably the cause of his melancholy but as time went on you realized it had to be something more. 

Today you had decided to come into your studio a bit early, so you stopped and grabbed coffee and breakfast for the two of you, hoping that the small gesture would perk him up if he was a bit down today. You were relieved when your plan had worked, but were taken back when Doyoung said that he was shocked you'd thought about him that morning.

"Wow! Am I really that horrible of a boss?"

"No! I just, this is normally my task as your assistant so I was just surprised you did it."

The rest of the day Doyoung was back to being his normal ray of sunshine self, well, at least until he noticed your back and forth interaction as you texted on your phone. Suddenly the playful banter between you stopped, his smile faded, and although you were curious as to what caused the sudden change, you didn't have time to pry, not when you had your own problem to deal with currently. 

Doyoung watched as your face turned sour at the current message and let out an annoyed sigh before getting up to retrieve his water bottle from his messenger bag. You quickly typed a reply, put down the phone and went back to work on your project. Only moments later did your phone chime again signaling a new message and when you opened it you audibly scoffed in annoyance. You had only been casually dating this guy for about a month and as of late he'd been showing you another side to him, another side that was a lot less flattering. You knew it wouldn't get any better so you sent a reply, and decided you needed some fresh air.

Doyoung eyed you as you angrily put your phone down and exited your studio. Although he was annoyed knowing you were giving so much of your energy to yet another asshole that he knew didn't deserve it, he felt bad for not trying to lighten the mood when it was so obvious to him that you needed it.

Your phone chimed again, and he rushed to view the message as the preview popped up on the screen.  

"Fine! I wasn't really that into you anyway, I just needed something to do."

Doyoung stared at the message, feeling the temperature of his body rise in anger with each passing moment. Who the fuck did this guy think he was talking to you like that? He was two seconds away from picking up your phone to tell the guy to go fuck himself until he caught the sound of your footsteps coming back. He quickly sat down and tried to ignore his frustration as he continued to work. He did his best to stay focused on his computer screen but it was hard, especially when he noticed you picking up your phone out of the corner of his eyes, and when he took a quick glance at you and noticed you were visibly trying to hold back tears he couldn't ignore it anymore. 

You couldn't believe what you were reading. What a fucking joke. You were so tired of this seemingly endless cycle of men who wanted nothing more than a hookup. 

"Hey, you wanna talk about it?" 

You were doing your best to hold it together but when you heard Doyoung's soft voice and looked up to see his eyes filled with concern you couldn't hold back the flood of emotions anymore. He quickly rushed to you, pulling you to your feet and into his chest, encouraging you to let it all out. Once you had calmed down you tried to reassure your assistant that you were fine and he didn't need to worry. Doyoung was not going to let you off that easy.

"Are you being serious right now? You literally just had a breakdown over some jackass that played with your feelings and only used you for sex! How do you expect me to believe that suddenly you're over it?"

You were shocked by his outburst but immediately realized you needed to clarify some things about the situation. 

"Fine! You're right Doyoung, I'm not over it, I'm not ok, but I'm not upset because I ended things with him and I’m absolutely not upset that I got used for sex because I never fucked him. I'm upset that I once again wasted time on someone who was only looking for a hookup and when they didn't get it, became cold and even had the audacity to say I wasted their time. I'm upset with myself for lowering my standards for the sake of having a plus one that's not my assistant for once. I'm upset that I thought dating apps would be a good way to meet someone but nobody is really looking for a relationship on those platforms and I don't have time to go out and try to meet anyone." You said as you began to pack up your things. 

"What are you doing?"

"Let's cut the day short. I'll still pay you for the full day but I just want to go home now."

Doyoung began to pack up his things, trying to keep pace with how quickly you were moving. "I'll take you home."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." He said as he grabbed your bag.

You were too exasperated to keep protesting and honestly, you appreciated his kindness and the way he always looked out for you, so you just shut up and followed your adorable assistant to his car.

"I need to stop at the grocery store if you don't mind." You said as he opened the door for you, giving you a sweet smile as you took a seat in his car.

"Of course, I have to grab some things as well."

"Good, now I don't feel like too much of a bother."

The ride to the grocery store was fairly quiet besides the music on the radio and Doyoung's pleasant humming to whatever was currently playing.

Inside the grocery store you opted to go your own way, figuring it'd be faster than following each other around the store. Doyoung was disappointed to say the least, he wanted to stand beside you picking over the produce just so you could see how it felt to do something like that with him by your side. He had come to realize, if he ever wanted a shot with you he'd have to make you see him as more than just your assistant, and doing domestic couple-like things was how he was going to try to do it. As he moved about the store grabbing whatever he needed, he looked for you, only to have his heart nearly stop at the sight of you laughing and chatting it up with some random guy in the freezer section. This was the happiest you'd sounded all day, and as much as he wanted you to cheer up, he wanted to be the one to do it. Even though your back was turned to him he knew you were smiling, he could hear it in your voice. He usually loved that he could when you were smiling just from your voice alone, but knowing you were smiling at someone else was killing him.

You stood there chatting happily with your friend's boyfriend, listening to him gush about the trip they'd gone on over the last weekend. You’d hoped he wouldn't remind you of the double date you were supposed to go on tomorrow evening so you could make up some lie, not wanting to tell your friends that once again you picked up trash. Your conversation seemed to be going well and you'd even said your goodbyes. But just as you were about to breathe a sigh of relief he turned to you. 

"OH! I almost forgot, our reservation slot was over booked so we were pushed back by 30 minutes."

"That's fine. I'll see you there." You waved him off with a forced smile.

Doyoung was somewhere between disappointed and pissed. Here he was trying his best to show you he was interested but all you'd ever done was write it off as him being a great assistant. Just what was he going to have to do for you to realize that you only needed to look directly in front of you for someone that would cherish you and make sure you never wanted for anything. He had to swallow his agitation, yes you were just making date plans with another someone that wasn't him, but he couldn't stop thinking about how sad you looked earlier, in fact it was exactly how you were looking now.

"Hey! Are you ok?" He asked softly as he touched your shoulder.

You gave him a weak smile and headed to the checkout before his worried eyes could break you.

The ride to your place was dead silent, no music, no humming and you knew based on how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel, that he had something on his mind. The moment your home came into view you knew that whatever was bothering him would most likely come out now. So the moment he pulled up to your front door you quickly thanked him, hopped out to retrieve your bags, and headed for your door. That was the plan anyway, but what actually happened was the minute you hopped out of the car to get your bags, Doyoung got out too, saying he'll carry them in for you. This wouldn't be the first time he's done this but today you knew there was a motive behind it, and you really didn't want to further elaborate on how pathetic your love life was to your assistant.

"It's ok Doyoung, I can handle it."

"I'm well aware, but you don't need to handle it if I'm around."

It was something about the way he said that made you think of how lucky his girlfriend must be, until you remembered he didn't have one and it was probably your fault for always allowing him to escort you to different industry and personal events. How could you expect him to find anyone if he was always with you. As you entered your place you took notice of the way he moved about your kitchen as if it were his. As he neatly put away all your groceries, you let your mind wander, thinking about how natural it seemed for him to be there, how nice it felt to have him in your corner and how he always looked so good in anything he wore. Doyoung folded the bags from the groceries he had put away and placed them under the sink. The look in his eyes when he finally turned to you, let you know the interrogation was coming. 

"So, I hope I'm not overstepping, but the guy at the grocery store, you have a date tomorrow?"

You let out a small giggle when you realized how that conversation probably  looked to him, you had just ended things with someone and now you were planning a date with someone else.

"Yes, but not with him technically. He's my friend's partner. We're supposed to have a double date tomorrow, but now I'll have to cancel and tell them yet another sob story."

"I'll go with you!" Doyoung said excitedly. 

"No!"

"Why?"

"Seriously I just ranted to you about how I'm tired of taking my assistant to things as my stand in date and now you're offering to act as my date tomorrow? At this point you may as well be a rental boyfriend. You should be out at a bar somewhere trying to get laid, not being held hostage by your boss."

You turned your back to him as you grabbed the last bag that needed to be put away from the counter. 

"I can put away the rest, thank you for all you've done. Please don't misunderstand, I'm so grateful but I can't keep using you. You should have your own relationships too." 

"I quit."

You turned to him as the egg carton you were holding slipped from your hands and plummeted to the floor.

"What?! You're joking."

"No. I'm serious. It's the only way."

"THE ONLY WAY TO WHAT?! Make my day worse than it already is?"

Doyoung approached you, stopping once you were practically standing toe to toe.

"The only way for you to see me as something more than just your devoted assistant. I guess I only have myself to blame. I should have just been bold enough to tell you, instead I tried to show you how I felt through acts of service. Not the best way to go about it when you consider my entire job is for me to be of service to you. The point I'm trying to make is, I have been actively pursuing a relationship and trying to get laid. Maybe now that you know my heart, I'll have better luck because I don't want to be the place holder for someone that doesn't deserve you anymore.

"Did you just confess to liking me at the same time as confessing to wanting to have sex with me?" You laughed.

"No. I confessed to wanting to fuck you senseless at the same time as confessing that I love you." He said, a smirk curling at the corners of his mouth.

You were a little caught off guard with how bold he was being suddenly, but you definitely liked it. You'd found him attractive from the day you interviewed him, and you certainly were guilty of checking him out when he wasn't looking, you even caught him doing the same a couple times. That didn't stop you from writing off everything as him being a very thorough and thoughtful assistant, never thinking it was him showing interest. Now knowing how he felt, you closed your eyes and began to think about all the times he'd gone out of his way, gone above and beyond for you, and suddenly his attitude change made sense. You were constantly trying to find someone to be by your side, never realizing  there was already someone there. The only thought running through your mind right now was to let him, let him love you and fuck you senseless of course.

Doyoung waited patiently for a response, studying your face to see if he could figure out what your answer would be. Excitement began to take over as he watched a smile curl your lips.  He was patient but his waiting was over, and the minute you opened your eyes, letting a soft "yes" fall from your lips, answering his unspoken question, he swept you up into his arms.  

Everything felt right; the warmth of his body against yours, his soft delicate lips, his firm hands pulling you into him.

"I've waited too long to have you."

"Well stop waiting then."

It didn't take long for you to be naked, bent over the back of your couch with Doyoung fucking you hard and deep as you moaned out for him. You weren't expecting to cum so quickly but you definitely weren't surprised. It had been a while since you'd had dick and even longer since you'd had good dick and probably never had dick as good as Doyoung's.  

"So fast? Do I feel that good or has it been a while?"

"Both." You whimpered as you felt him pull out of you, only to be quickly pulled up and  turned to face him.  Without hesitation you pressed your lips to his and he reciprocated instantly. kissing Doyoung was addictive and you were almost embarrassed to admit how much you loved it, luckily he wasn't.

"I love that you kiss me like you need me."

"I do."

"Mhmm, about time you realized. Let’s take this to the bedroom so I can finish showing you how I need you too.

I do hope you enjoyed this short story because Doyoung, Kun, and Jungwoo been heavy on my mind.😵

[transsexualhamlet]

Why do people say tolkien fandoms are bad?

Well I mean, I've really only been in the tolkien fandom proper for like 6 months, the last times I was super into tolkien I didn't have internet access (yes I was 12 and then 14, no I did not have a phone nor computer) and even though I'm in it now I feel like I've only really dipped my toes into everything that's out there (a Lot). so you know, I couldn't really tell you on a broader sense? But from the limited amount of activity here on tumblr it seems. Well I love it but jesus christ there is so much discourse that shouldn't exist. (for example, for some reason there seems to still be some ongoing war as to if sam or frodo is more heroic, as if that's a valid point of discussion. why would you ever take a side on that have you not read the book) One of the main other points of contention is people who basically worship tolkien and defend every idea he ever mentioned to the fucking death (dude) and the guys who hate him so much and are so critical of the canon that they strip the text of any sort of meaning. Ideally there is a medium of "hey guys maybe thinking about what you read is important you're not trying to pull a gottem in 10th grade english". I think most people here are sane but god I've seen some takes.

I'm getting the sense that it's better than it used to be (a fucking free for all fighting grounds between tolkien dudebros and gay people who liked the movies), but it's still one of those that can go after your throat if you don't know every detail from everything, but as with most every fandom you can curate your experience and not. run into that lol. I think the case is just that the bigger a fandom is the more insane weirdos you get making noise in there and as long as you just. Ignore the insane weirdos you can have a great time

[dopaminergicaddictions]

5/18/24

5:10 Edited 5:15 p.m Added to 5:27 p.m

I woke up at 4 p.m. I've woke up like every 2 hours. It was really fucking annoying. Needing to pee.. I took benadryl 25MG at 10:51 and then 1:11 p.m after using the bathroom two times. I didn't sleep well and I woke up with soliliquy at 10:51 a.m.

I actually dreamed about John. We were playing a video game together and I mean we were like living in the game but sometimes it would flash to us sitting at a computer desk. The game was like some kind of Pokémon hybrid game with minecraft. We were building a house and defeating monster and clearing the area for our build.

I was bad at the game. He was nice to me cause he always is. It flashed to us being at the computer desk and he was making a vest with both of us back to back on the back of the vest. In a cartoonist way. He was an excellent drawer. It was really cute and colorful and he told me to keep cutting down that area. And then I woke up in the dream and I realized I fell asleep next to him and he had taken my glasses off which was sweet.

He fell asleep next to me at the desk with his glasses on and he woke up very shortly after I did. Then I started talking in my sleep and woke up in real life.

The dream was nice bc the game was cool. I felt safe and loved and valued. I think it had a couple meanings-

1) John is my best friend. My very best friend. He is the only friend I can talk to everyday who always tries to make contact.

2) I should game with him more often. He doesn't care if I'm good or not he just likes spending time with me. I've seen his Xbox live friends list. Cause he gave me his email and password to account share and he doesn't have very many friends. He is selective and I'm one of the only people he likes.

3) the vest was I think symbolic of me actually meaning something to him. Me falling asleep next to him was me feeling safe with him.

4) maybe I could have a significant bond with a person as just a friend. I thought it was so sweet he took off my glasses when I fell a next to him. I've never had anyone do that for me. I'd hope my next partner did. If I ever fall asleep without drugs that is lol

But it made me feel cared for and everything.

I'm going to text him in a few. I know I'm lucky to have him. Idc that he is cis. I just feel like more alone cause I know my life is missing a romantic bond which is very important as an adult. But he actually is my best friend. Katelyn hardly talks to me. Tee is never around and hardly talks to me but if I text John today or tomorrow I'll hear from him that day. If I wanted to game a few times a week I'm sure he would give me 2 days a week at least. I'm the reason we don't hang out as much as we could.

In other news, my mother got admitted with 2 broken ribs I think. She's missing the Kansas concert tonight. She's staying for pain maintenance. For potentially 2 days. My sister didn't say anything about her head.

I don't know if I should go and see her or not. I mean I'm fucking mad.

My hallucination at the er last night was awful... then I got home and had hardly anytime to immerse myself into tv and it seemed to make the hallucination worse... cause it was just talking constantly as I tried to listen to the dialogue of king of the hill. I heard the characters not the voice but I heard the voice going and it drives me crazy....

And every break of silence I heard that God awful voice. Normally it's more under control but of course I got less sleep yesterday and I stayed up longer than 17 hours bc of my circadian rhythm bc I woke up at 1 p.m yesterday and stayed up until at least 7 a.m today.... which those days towards the end it always gets worse and throw in anger and being upset and having anxiety... and that worsens it too....

Everytime I woke up the voice was incredibly annoying. I had to keep turning on my tv and using the sleep timer... and then I woke up and tried to be in silence to think but I can't it is horribly intrusive today. Of course I'm angry still. I'm upset. Idk if I want to see my mom.... and today is laundry day. I got 500 things to wash and that means it's ocd day.

So I'm listening to silverstein blasting the voice out so I don't chose to overdose.

Idk if I'm going to go see my mother. I got to grab a chicken, Detergent, and some vegetarian food, a little bit of cheese and some juice.. I want to game and de-stress and relax and I need some TV time... cause if I watch TV a lot the voice almost doesn't exist....

I also am thinking about using my hdcp bypasser and trying to play a silent hill game even though no one cared how much work it takes to bypass hdcp and no one watches despite how much money I've spent trying to bypass it..

Either way I'm stressed cause I need to leave the house soon and get food and I am going to double wash the washer with bleach bc she washed poop and pee towels in it.... bleach gives me ocd too bc I'm always scared of it splashing on me.

If I go to the hospital bc she doesn't wash her hands, I won't want to hug her or touch her cause of the dried blood. I also am still very fucking angry at her. Like incredibly...

I'll get over it but today already sucks. I don't want more ocd behaviors... I don't want more things to do. And I mean, "what's your daughters name?"

"Don't make me go there. Which one?"

Why the fuck should I go see her she's not dying and she has no respect for me and how much more I fucking hallucinated to be there and put myself through that beyond that- all I hear is my fucking deadname from this hallucination. 24/7. She knows that..

If she had said skye and deadname I would have walked out. I almost walked out when she said what she said. At that point I stopped talking to her and listening to her which made me hallucinate worse but I would have rather heard the voice than listen to someone bitch about everything right after making that comment.

I also didn't want to listen to her being fucking high and drunk.

Right now I'm going to put myself first. Get the laundry going. Go grocery shopping. Then decide but I don't fucking want to go.

"Which one?" FUCK YOU BITCH

[eldritchsurveys]

1181.

How many pieces of gum have you chewed today? >> Two, maybe? I chew gum a lot, it's a major stim for me.

Any big events coming up? >> Not until April.

Do you know anyone who is paralyzed? >> I don't.

What did you do last night? >> Played some ESO, scrolled tumblr a bit, went to bed around 22:30 or so. By doing that, what time did you go to bed? >> ^

And what time did you wake up this morning? >> The final time? Around 08:00, 08:30.

Have you been debating anything recently? >> I don't think so.

Who was the last person to text you? .

Are there icicles on the sides of your house? >> There are not, the weather has been too warm for that. Do you get intimidated easily? >> I don't think so. I find it a bit absurd to be intimidated by a person, but I do sometimes feel the instinct to fawn in situations where someone has a certain level of power over me.

Does anything on your body hurt currently? >> No.

Are you often trying to escape the inevitable? >> I don't even know how I would do that.

What were the first words you said today? >> I haven't said any words to anyone today, outside of the customary Inworld communications.

Which lyric is your favorite from the song you are listening to? .

Does it hold any memories? .

Why did you last cry? >> I was sad and stressed and dysregulated to fuck.

Did someone see you crying? >> Certainly not.

Do you crack your knuckles? >> Sometimes. I try not to get too habituated to it.

Is it really going to give you arthritis? >> I don't think so, but I still don't want to get too habituated to it.

Are you excited for the new year? .

List three things you are excited for in the upcoming year? .

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? >> I just changed it (finally) so now it's Randall Flagg fanart for the lock screen and Orin the Red fanart for the home screen.

Where is your best friend right now? .

Can you count to 100 in any other language? >> I cannot.

Do you headbang often? >> Fairly often, since I listen to metal a lot.

Magenta or orchid? >> Orchid. Are you a fan of Rob Zombie? >> Casually. I love a couple of his movies and I think his music's pretty tight even if I don't listen to it regularly.

Last two songs you listened to? >> Seven by Sunny Day Real Estate (a song I do like, particularly the last half, but I decided to take it off Liked Songs for now) and Insignificant by Nevermore.

Are there any shoes you are really wanting? >> There are not. I just want my feet to not hurt, and the majority of shoes seem tailor-made to do the opposite of that. I'm sick of shoes. I wish I didn't have to deal with them at all.

Describe what you are wearing? >> Blue Stitch-patterned lounge pants, black undershirt, black Duff's Brooklyn hoodie.

Look out the window - what do you see? >> Tree branches, the sky, and the top of the garage.

Television or computer? >> My computer is my television. Germany or France? .

Hawthorne Heights or She Wants Revenge? >> I don't listen to either, but She Wants Revenge is the only one whose music actually comes to mind (I don't know if I've ever heard a HH song).

Is your skin sensitive? >> Not especially.

Are you sensitive in general? >> Oh, I absolutely can be.

Who last left you a note? .

Have you ever made a gingerbread house? >> I think I've participated in the assemblage of one, but not very enthusiastically, lol. I'm not much into that sort of thing.

Who did you last get in a fight with? .

Are things resolved between the two of you now? .

Did you have any weird dreams last night? >> Oh my god, did I. It was awful. My subconscious is quite dedicated to pouring every ounce of creative energy we have into crafting elaborate anxiety constructs for us to get lost in. And with the boundless capacity of dream logic, the sky's the limit!

Tell me one thing you remember from it? >> A longtime (I mean 10+ years long) tumblr mutual softblocked me because I just wasn't a warm enough person for them and they got tired of it.

Lets have some lyrics to end this, yeah? >> Let's not (I just have Seven stuck in my head because of the earlier question about songs and I don't really know the lyrics to that one).

[roboromantic]

y'know, I didn't think I'd have to ask this in an intro to video games class, but how exactly are we defining a "video game?" bc it seems like it's focused a lot more on console games.

our history lecture started in the 70s with Pong and the microprocessor and not earlier computer games. When I talked to my dad about how video games (the lecture did not specify whether this meant pc, console, or both) were declared dead in the 80s, he said no one believed that at the time, but since he's a PC player and after doing a bit more reading on my own, it looks like yeah that was a console thing he probably ignored lol

like. my dad taught himself how to program save states in BASIC games (or st like that) in '72, and he mentioned a game called Spacewar! that first came out an entire decade earlier and has been named one of the top 10 most important video games in history!!! there's been next to no discussion of early text adventure games!!! what else aren't we learning about?

like, I know they can only cover so much but also video games aren't even 100 years old yet. c'moooooon

[myownangel]

TAG GAME (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡ 

tagged by @tatakaeeren, muuuuchas gracias por incluirme Victoria, de verdad me emocioné cuando vi mi url entre tantas cuentas tan geniales🤯🥺

Let's get to know our Animanga Fandom mutuals/followers better? 💞

01. How did you find out about anime?  Omg, I’m kinda afraid of this one because it all really begun recently, if I remember correctly, it was 2020 and my best friend made me start watching BNHA. Oh boy, little did he know that once I like something there is no turning back and so I started digging more and more. But let’s not forget those times when smol kid Nuu didn’t even know the word anime existed but enjoyed Inuyasha, Sailor Moon, Ranma 1/2 anyways.

02. What’s your favorite anime?  Haikyuu!!🧡 I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it, every time I recommend it to someone I have to start watching it with them and I get all the emotions as if it was the first time all over. 🕯️Prayer circle for season 5🕯️ 

03. Do you have a favorite J-music/K-pop group/singer?  Without a doubt: Centimillimental, I thank Given everyday for introducing me to this talented man, he is my favorite. Following real close is Eve!! There is definitely not a bad song omg. I also listen to a little bit of King Gnu, Burnout Syndromes, Aimer and thanks to my sister I’m starting to get into K-pop with Stray Kids, Tomorrow x Together...

04. When is your bday? And how old are you?  September 10th (500% virgo), 28.

05. Currently, what is your favorite fandom anime?  I’m not sure if I’d be able to pick just one, maybe it’s because I haven’t been long enough in each one of them(? but with every anime/manga I start I gladly join and want to stay forever in that fandom.

06. Despite the ups and downs of Tumblr, what motivates you to stay here today and do your best? I don’t think I have experienced so many of the downs of tumblr since I just got back a few months ago, but one thing I know for sure; tumblr was the actual motivation to endure 2021, then I started finding lovely people that made tumblr even better... so, basically it’s the first app I check every day lol. I wish I could get to know all of you a little better ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

07. Finally create it yourself in this picrew: link

I still feel very new to this and I'm a bit shy to tag someone 👉🏼👈🏼 so it's free for whoever wants to go back in time and feel like writing about it (ノ^_^)ノ

[14dayswithyou]

▋GAME DEVELOPMENT ASKS !

✦゜ANSWERED: To avoid flooding the dash with all of these asks, I'm just gonna compile them into one big "masterpost" ^w^

By pressing 'keep reading' you confirm that you are 18 or older.

Anonymous asked: I was just wondering cuz I've noticed on some of the questions you've answered you've talked about having so much info but can't because of spoilers, and obviously you're still making the game. My question is do you have the full sotry written up and now what's left is coding, art, etc etc or is the story still in the progress of being written as well? If you feel comfortable sharing your process and all ofc, don't feel pressed if tou don't! 💕

Yeah! ^^ I've actually had the storyline fully planned out since 2017, but I'm updating and re-writing everything in the 2022 version because the original seemed kinda cringe and didn't feel consistent enough. I've only had Day 1 fully written since 2017, and everything beyond that just a general outline/dot-points of what I want to happen in each of the days. As for the progress: I still need to write the coding and dialogue, draw the backgrounds, update the sprites, CGs, and UI, and a ton of other behind-the-scenes things that probably aren't worth mentioning. ^^;

Anonymous asked: Saw you answer the ask anon sent about how development is going but was wondering if you have a general outline for the whole story (like the ‘normal’ route, ‘good’ route, etc) or if it’s certain scenes you have written and the rest is written as you work on it all? I’m just very interested in how you work on the storyline so I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable for any reason or you just don’t want to answer

Like the answer above, I have everything figured out (all the choices, branches/paths, endings, etc.), but they're mainly just general outlines/dot-points that I need to iron out, rather than a fleshed-out script that I can work with. I usually just tackle parts of the dialogue one scene at a time (usually by mindlessly typing out words and editing it afterwards) before moving to another scene and repeating the process. Eventually you'll end up with a semi-coherent script that you can throw into a text editor to check for spelling and then slap into the game!

Anonymous asked: You should translate it into korean too if you can!

For sure! I'm still looking into hiring translators once I set up a funding system for the game though, so I might put this on the backburner for a while ^^; Fan-translations are more than welcome though (only for the demo), and if people are interested, y'all can get in contact with me and I can send you the script!!

@marina-and-the-memes asked: is there any update on Day 2/how far in development it is LMAO and can we get close ups of the characters eyes bc my phone quality is ass NDJDJDJDJ

Like 80% of it is done! I still need to update all of the old CG art and UI, as well as write/proofread the missing scenes from the script. Everything else is completed though! And as for the eye close ups; you might have to download the images off the 14dwy itch.io page since I'm on mobile rn (and I don't have any images on hand) ^^; But feel free to send in your ask again and I'll upload the images from my computer instead!! (or wait for me to update this section lol)

Anonymous asked: Will there be life after the official game ending Few vn games have this setting, maybe you can consider. Thank you for creating Ren，Love you guys

Like game continuity? I don't think there will be any since the storyline is pretty linear and will eventually have closure once the game ends, so there wouldn't be much content to go through once the game ends ^^; I can look into adding future DLCs though!

Anonymous asked: Sooooo….can we end up with other characters instead of Ren or is our renren our endgame?? I’m sorry if this has been asked before. Pls ignore if it is. Also, I really appreciate how you take the time to answer the asks. No wonder the fans adore you😭💕. Kisses and hugs for you😚💜

Renren will be the main romance and focus for the game, but depending on the choices you make and the bonds you form with the other characters, you'll have the chance to get an ending with them instead! I won't be a fully fleshed out route or anything though.

Anonymous asked: How's development going? Have you made any progress on the game? I really like hearing about this kind of stuff

Answered above! The only reason it's taking me so long is because I'm a full time university student, and writers/artist block is Very Real ;v; I sometimes get burnt out and don't feel like writing, and I'd rather not force myself to work on the script if I'm not in the right mindset, if that makes sense?? ;v;

Anonymous asked: I don’t know if it’s been asked yet or not but will the game have different routes and/or endings? “I can fix him” ending VS “I can make him worse” ending FIGHT

Yes! Right now I have 4 main endings planned for the game, and they will all depend on the choices you make, Ren's affection for you, and his sanity meter (which will be implemented in a future update!).

Anonymous asked: i love love loved the game! im craving more! but im not sure what to look up exactly? what genre of game is this? the whole obsessive lover type haha is there a name? ALSO! where should i go to look for when the complete game comes out?

I'm not actually quite sure what genre to call it ^^; I labelled the game as a horror/romance visual novel, so you could try that? I feel like "yandere visual novel" would yield more results though since the yandere term is more common. I'm also following a ton of insanely talented game devs on twitter who create similar yandere VNs, so feel free to check them out!