#i was signed off by one doc to start last month - but then obvs all the doctors have to sign off

[nasturtiumsforbreakfast]

spending this evening wondering about the changes once I'm on T, apparently - puzzling at how facial hair will grow in, mostly

[sorikkung]

encanto | vampire!minho x gn!reader

word count: 1.2k (bulletpoint drabble)

pairings: skz minho x gn!reader, lightly implied minsung

warnings: obv theres gonna be mentions of blood but its not that graphic tbh. brief mentions of drinking as well.

a/n: this is just an old drabble i found lying around while clearing out my docs i thought id share but it rly is just a drabble. enjoy anyway tho

ok SO… there was this club w a bit of a reputation

“PANDEMONIUM”

sounds like a good time but the giant sign where the “PAN” and “IUM” were faulty and flashing on and off was… ominous

in fact, ominous was the perfect word to describe the feel of the club

but something about it was alluring, at least just for one night to check out

besides, creepy vibes aside, they played some cool tunes that still went hard without being the same remixed pop edm song for 3 hours so it seemed like a good time

you went with a few of your friends but they all got lost in the commotion way too quickly after a little bit of drinking

usually you’d be annoyed, but it wasn’t so bad when you caught eyes with a handsome stranger across the room, how cliche

and predictably enough, soon he’d slid into the barstool next to you, offering to pay for your drink

you noticed he didn’t have one though

“shouldn’t you buy yourself a drink first?”

a smirk spread across his gorgeous features,

“i’ll get my drink later tonight.”

strange, but maybe he just wasn’t much of a drinker?

you didn’t think much of it, accepting the offer for your drink so you could flirt with this mysterious man a little more

He introduced himself as minho, and you two talked up a storm, full of cheeky winks, flirty comments, cause boy was he charming

he just had this aura about him that was almost… hypnotising

you were reciting your digits before you could even mentally process the intent of his comment

you’re not sure when you left the bar, but all you know now is being pressed up against the wall of a more secluded, darker corridor, and he’s kissing up your neck

you can just feel the smirk against your skin, that same attractive smirk that hadn’t seemed to leave his face all night

you think he’s going to kiss up till he eventually reaches your lips, but suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in the side of your neck

just before you can make any noise of pain, the piercing feeling is all gone, and the euphoric feeling that follows hits you like a tidal wave

your vision grows hazy, the beats of the club fade down, and you can’t help but pull minho closer, tangling a hand in his hair and wrapping a leg around his torso

your mind is completely blank; just white noise, lost in whatever it was, but you have no idea how much time passes before you’ve regained your senses

once you do, you’re outside the club, and minho’s smiling at you with his mouth shut, his eyes sparkling with childlike innocence

“are you okay? do you want me to walk you home? it gets dangerous being out alone this late.”

you blink to yourself a few times, trying to fill in the blanks, but it’s all a little hazy. you have the memories of leaving the club, but it just doesn’t feel… real. almost like a dream.

you briefly wonder if he put something in his drink, but you could feel yourself fine, you weren’t limp or weak - heck, you could feel alright, it was almost the opposite of a date rape drug

all your senses felt heightened, and minho was like a magnet

just him standing there was overwhelming but you were so drawn to him. you wanted to know him more

you accept his offer, wordlessly nodding in confirmation while you tried to set your mind straight again

surprisingly, he doesn’t overstay his welcome once he reaches your house, he simply bids you farewell - who even says farewell in this day and age?

minho, apparently

still a little light headed, you decide to think about it when you’re no longer intoxicated, going to sleep and sleeping in till noon the next day.

even in the morning, all the memories are hazy. and you can’t even blame the alcohol, you weren’t even the least bit hungover.

what…. happened last night?

you wrack your brain as hard as you can but it still all felt like a dream, even more so now that you’ve slept

but the unexplainable lure to minho remains, and you can’t help but text him

“you going back to the pandemonium tonight?”

trying to sound a little less desperate, you do a quick check before adding,

“heard there was a cool live gig there tonight. 3racha or something…”

his response comes not long after,

“sure thing angel. i’ll see you there.”

you were more excited about it than you’d like to admit.

the following night at the club was no different to the previous one; you woke up the next day with no explanations and no memories that felt real

although, it felt just the slightest bit more real than the first time, considering you knew what was coming

you waited till the following week to go again, trying to have idle conversation with minho over text

but he didn’t seem like a keen texter

his replies were always short, and they didn’t sound like a direct conversation ender, it wasn’t cold

yet, as soon as the conversation starts getting anywhere, he leaves you on read

weird.

the next time you go to the club, minho’s waiting for you, and he greets you with a charming smile

it’s almost like groundhog day, because its happening all over again

as soon as his face goes anywhere near your neck, it’s like you’re hyperaware of every sensation, until the haze takes you away again

but no, you were really wanting answers, so you stopped him this time.

you try to block his mouth with your hand, only for the same sharp pain followed by the haze, only, this time, it stops.

it stops and you’re not outside the club, minho is still in front of you and gazing at you with a mildly horrified and almost shocked expression

you lock eyes with him, then looked down at your hand

on the side of your index finger were two dots, and there were smears of red around them

“m-minho…?”

he’s frozen, not knowing how to react, and you could almost swear theres something poking out from under his top lip

you daringly move your hand forward to gently grab his chin, pressing his upper lip with your thumb

the slight shift reveals two pointed canines, stained scarlet

you’re still light headed, but you’re sure the sudden blur and gust in front of you followed by the absence of minho was real

minho was… a vampire?

but surely… surely vampires couldn’t be real, right?

plus, you’re still alive, what’s with that…

you go home and realise minho has blocked your number

just like that, off with the wind, like he was never there in the first place

you asked around in confusion, but nobody knew of minho, or had seen minho, and soon enough….

...neither did you.

it had been a few months, and you found a new but strangely familiar club you wanted to try,

although the half flashing light made it a little uneasy, the place had good songs, so what was there to lose?

you caught eyes with a mysterious stranger on the other side of the club. he had an orange-haired boy in his gasp, tugging him by his hand to a more secluded place

you don’t remember ever seeing this man before, but the way he smirks at you makes you feel like you should know him

but then he disappears down the corridor, and no matter how hard you think, there was only one word you could remember.

encanto, encanto...

[mumofadaofficial-blog]

C Sections - The ‘Easy’ way out

Firstly, what I have titled this is bullshit :) 

Secondly, no matter what way you give birth to your child whether it be naturally, assisted, c-section etc you are amazing for doing so. Not only have you grown that tiny human with your own body, you then bring he/she into the world in whatever way possible or necessary at that time - so fucking well done you! 

My mum told me from the start that every pregnancy and birth has its own story - and that is so very true. No two are the same and each and everyone should be celebrated for the greatness that it is. 

My personal experience was via an emergency c-section and I want to share that with you. 

From day one I had it all planned out, I wanted a water birth and I wanted it all to be as natural as possible. Id seen on one born, various videos and pictures on the internet of that special moment when a mother holds their child for the first time, I wanted that and the closeness that came with it. Unfortunately, having to be induced and the aftermath that followed that obviously wasn’t the way my story was meant to go. 

When you get told you need to have a section your all systems go, your ready for it, you just want your baby out and safe. You and anything else in the world suddenly have no importance anymore and all you want is to hear those little baby cries.

I remember signing a consent form that I never read, I don’t remember getting undressed and putting a gown on so god knows who did that and I remember going into theatre where they were talking me through things and getting me prepped for surgery. 

I don’t know what they said to me, I really wasn’t listening. All I can remember asking again and again is where Nath was and why wasn’t he in there. (Of corse, like the movies he was getting all scrubbed up - dishy).

It was that moment sat on the edge of the table that the panic set in, you suddenly feel very alone in a room full of people. I became scared of what was happening and the thought that I was about to undergo the first major surgery I’d ever had. Jesus Christ, I’ve only ever broke my little finger before and thats when I was about 8, so this was big time. I was told to curve myself over a cushion whilst they injected my spine, then immediately laid down on the table, and asked to lift my legs - couldn’t do it, job done. Thankfully Nath had come in by then and I felt more relaxed like I could cope with what was going on. 

When it was all underway I can remember saying to Nathan that it felt like the doctor was making a pizza with my stomach 😂 He thought I was high! It’s the oddest thing, to be able to feel that someone is doing something, but to have no sensation whatsoever. Within about 15 minutes of entering the room, Ada was born. I then had to be sewn up which took about three times as long as the birth! Also, absolutely mortified that it isn’t like one born every minute where you have a gown covering your modesty. Nothing modest about realising afterwards that the doctors have just been staring at your vagina for the past half hour or so and it definitely wasn’t covered up. (I mean they probably wasn’t looking at it at all, but you know what I mean). 

I was took into a side room afterward for recovery where they fitted a catheter, what amazing things those are! Don’t even know you need a wee and that things filling itself up! Definitely don’t get confused with catheter and cannula when talking afterwards…done that far too many times and got some strange looks! It was then that the mum guilt started to set in, not only was I worried about Ada, I felt like I had failed her. Everything had been planned so perfectly in my mind of how I wanted it to go, and I felt like I had failed to deliver that to myself and my child. I felt like I wasn’t capable of giving birth, so someone else had to intervene and do it for me. (I realise now that I was stupid to think that and I did what I needed to as a mother, but I’m sure a lot of people who have had a section will understand where I am coming from). I’ve since seen a meme that said ‘I had an epidural, then I had a c-section, then I bottle fed, and now I’m sitting here at the playground wondering what all the guilt was about because my kid is just as weird as yours’ Oh so true!!

Then the time comes when you’ve managed to get some movement and feeling back into your legs and you have to stand up. Now I was told ’Stand with your legs, don’t push with your arms and don’t pull on your tummy muscles’ Easier fucking said than done Susan! (I don’t think her name was Susan, but it fits) You’ve just had your stomach muscles and womb sliced through, but just use your legs that also have no strength because there definitely a bit numb still but your desperate to get up and see your baby. 

Now when that aesthetic starts to wear off, I am not going to sugar coat it, its fucking painful. Your fully aware of whats going on down there even when you just breath, god forbid you need to sneeze or cough! I think I definitely got up and about too soon, I was dizzy and lightheaded and felt like the blood had drained out of me when I got back into bed after seeing Ada. And I happily accepted any drug they wanted to give me, I couldn’t tell you what they were but they helped, so thanks for that part Susan. 

The first night was a bit of a blur with how I was feeling because of everything else that was going on but I know simple things, like moving in bed and trying to sit up was hard work. I was given medication throughout the night by a midwife, who informed me I had been given some sort of super ibuprofen up my bum whilst on the operating table 😂 - which apparently I consented too but I had no idea, good work doc, didn’t even realise. 

The following day I decided I needed to have a shower and sort my life out, all whilst Nathan was doing a great job of whizzing me around the hospital backwards in a wheelchair because we hadn’t quite got the hang of it going forward. Thankfully there was a seat in the shower, I’d never of had the strength to be able to stand for that length of time. It’s at times like that when you realise how much you take for granted being able to do everyday things. I remember sitting there and crying out of frustration, feeling like a massive, naked, deflated beach ball. Good job Nathan loves me because no one should have to see that haha. He washed my hair, washed me and then helped me up and got me dry.  Graphic bit coming up…sorry. SO for anyone who ends up having a c section, make sure you take your pad and fresh knickers into the bathroom with you. I am saying this after learning a lesson, I did not, and was most shocked and mortified when it looked like Satan had released himself all over the bathroom floor. Nathan was pretty shocked too, he ran and got a midwife - apparently its all normal! So relax 😅

Something else that comes with c-sections…knee high compression socks. Now if your by yourself, you better ask for help. There is no way whatsoever that you will get them bad boys on single handedly after that op, Nath had to pretty much choke slam me into mine. Also, really not the best fashion accessory when its 30 something degrees outside…I think mine lasted about two days!

And then comes the dreaded day, the first poo 😳 Id been taking iron pills, three a day. To try and counteract the affect that they have on you I’d been given lactulose. Nothing was happening, I think probably 5 days past and then the urge came! I remember sitting on that toilet and wanting to push but there isn’t a single thing in your body thats gonna let you do that, so you just sit and wait, like your waiting for fucking Christmas. That was no bloody Christmas let me tell you, black poop! Straight on google to check I wasn’t dying…turns out, just the iron tablets 😂 

Totally never realised you have to have injections after a c section either, absolutely fine when the midwives are doing it for you, then you get discharged…AND YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF! Theres something really hard about trying to give yourself an injection in your stomach, id have to psych myself up about ten times before id actually get it done. 

Before I was discharged I had a lady come and do some exercises with me, and show me the correct way to cough e.g. holding your stomach. All fine as you know when your going to cough, but a sneeze! Oh lord, they just pop up out of nowhere, no preparation, nothing. I sneezed unexpectedly one night and was convinced I had split my stomach open, obvs Dr. Nathan checked the situation out for me - just being a drama queen as usual!

You are also told ‘Don’t do too much, and don’t lift anything heavier than a kettle for 6 weeks’ Pretty sure Ada came out weighing more than a kettle so that was that one buggered! I definitely used to do too much around the house, washing etc, but you know about it afterwards. I think for a good few weeks I just ached continuously, Getting off the sofa, sitting up in bed, walking upstairs could all be pretty hard work somedays. 

Bleeding, who knew you could survive after losing so much blood. And just when you think it’s stopped, BOOM, guess who’s back, back again! Another thing I googled to see if I was dying, I wasn’t, and good old google informed me that everyone is different but it can last for a few months on and off, GREAT! What a glam life us mums have. 

Personally I am gutted that I won’t experience a natural birth, the chances of me having another baby is currently slim to none and even then I would book in for a c-section because I am too scared of what could happen after Ada. 

I think the point of this is to be mindful of what you say to someone, e.g. the easy way out, too posh to push etc. Not everyone has a choice, the ideal birth they have created in their mind has been taken away from them, some people won’t ever get the chance to experience a natural birth, a contraction, that first hold. Some people might opt to have a c-section, and that is totally fine! We all have to do what is best for us and has our Childs best interest at heart. 

So whatever choice you make or have to make, do it for you and your baby - fuck what everyone else says, this is your story, not theirs. 

Amy x