octopodeez · 1 year ago
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pour two out for double fisting king jimmy buffett 😔✌️
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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago
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712.
Have you always known what you've wanted to do with your life, career-wise? >> By the time I really gave careers much thought, I was already old enough to know that it wouldn’t be feasible for me. So I never thought much about having one.
If you found out you couldn't bear children, would you be willing to adopt? >> Adoption would be the only option for us, if we really wanted to raise a child.
Can you not listen to a band if the singer sounds whiny? >> I mean, I don’t know. It’s possible a couple of the singers I listen to are considered whiny by someone, and I just don’t hear them that way myself.
Would you stay at a haunted hotel? >> I’d rather not tempt the fates like that. I’ve seen 1408.
Could you live without the Internet? >> I could, but I’d really rather not, thanks.
Do you always remember to bring a towel? >> If this is a reference, then heh, I get it. If it isn’t, then, uh, why am I bringing towels places? (Except the beach, I guess?)
Spiders: Kill them or let 'em go? >> I always let my children go. They deserve to live as much as I do. If I don’t want them in my home for some reason (or, rather, if Sparrow asks me to remove one), then I’ll just put them outside, no big deal.
How do you feel about Paris Hilton? >> I don’t have any feelings about Paris Hilton. She was cool in Repo! the Genetic Opera, though.
When drunk, are you: violent, crazy, clingy, talkative, or depressed? >> Tired, mostly. Which is why I don’t drink so much now. A buzz is quite enough for recreation, anything past that is just... lay-down time.
Do you know who is on the $5000 bill? (yes, it does exist!) >> I didn’t know it existed and I’m not curious enough about it to look it up.
What is the best HAND-MADE present you've ever recieved? >> ---
Do you Yahoo? >> Nah.
Have you ever TP'ed someone? >> Nope.
Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to your house that you didn't order? >> Nope.
What's the most disgusting thing you've ever encountered while at a hotel? >> Roaches, I guess.
What would you do if Hugh Hefner hit on you? >> I wouldn’t be anywhere near Hugh Hefner, thanks.
Is the price always right? >> What.
Do you smell what the Rock is cookin'!?!? >> Sure.
Are you gullible? >> I can be about some things, I’d imagine. But mostly I’m sceptical enough to survive.
What's the craziest rumor you've heard about Marilyn Manson? >> You know, the same one everyone’s heard, about the rib removal.
(Insert random song lyric of your choice here): >> No, thanks.
Does unneccessary punctuation annoy you? >> The only time it’s annoying for me is when people do it with commas. Like,,,,, like that. It’s because it’s associated in my mind with a certain trend of behaviour on tumblr (and maybe elsewhere, but it really took hold here) a few years ago that I found completely repulsive.
Do you know anyone who was born on leap year? >> I feel like I do, but I can’t remember who.
Do you follow a 5-second rule after dropping food on the floor? >> No, I follow a “how clean do I believe this floor is” rule, and it really only applies in my own apartment. Anywhere else, I just consider it a loss.
Do you think that only unclean people get head lice? >> Not at all.
What are you squeamish about? >> “Wet” chores (kitchen + bathroom), the bathroom in general, etc.
Are you skilled with balls? (like basketball or baseball, you perv!) >> No.
Did you take Flintstone vitamins or any others as a child? >> I don’t remember. Probably.
What types of things do you think the government is hiding from us? >> I don’t care to speculate.
What would you do if the Kool-Aid man busted through your wall? >> I can’t even imagine this happening.
Have you ever been to an art museum? Aren't paintings so cool?! >> Yeah, I’ve been to art museums. Paintings are very cool, I just don’t personally care for a lot of the ones I’ve seen in museums. Art being a subjective experience and all, you understand.
How do you like your soda: bottles, cans, or straight from the fountain? >> Bottles.
Do you recycle? >> No.
Can one person really make a difference? >> Sure. It just might not be the grand-scale one you wanted to make.
Which is worse: elevators or escalators? >> I’m not bothered by either.
Are you gonna make your momma proud? >> My mother is not interested in me.
Ring the bell for service or wait patiently for a minute first? >> Wait patiently for a minute first.
Boomerang or Cartoon Network? >> ---
Have you learned anything valuable today? Share it & make us all smarter! >> Everything I’ve learned today is about Silent Hill 4, so...
Do you memorize random facts? >> No. Sparrow is the good-at-trivia person in this household, I have no head for it.
What's your favorite kind of Doritos? >> I hate Doritos.
Do your parents have MySpace pages? >> ---
If you had a time machine, would you go to the past or to the future? >> I would not use a time machine.
What if Darth Vader was YOUR father? >> Wouldn’t be too surprising. I already have a history of not-the-best dads.
You're at the zoo. In what direction must you go first? >> I mean, it really depends on the zoo.
Do you honestly know how to play Monopoly or just make up rules as you go? >> I know how to play it, I’m just not interested in it.
If you know the answer, do you blurt it out? >> What is the context for this... school? N/A, if so. Be honest...ever peed in the pool? >> Honestly, never.
Do you ever fathom the amount of words in the English language? >> Yeah, it’s pretty remarkable.
Have you ever pulled a fire alarm? >> Nope. That’d mainly be a self-punishment, considering my sensory defensiveness, lmao.
Do brain teasers tickle, confuse, or fascinate your brain? >> Sometimes confuse and sometimes fascinate.
You're hungry. All there is to eat is stale chips. Eat 'em or not? >> If I’m hungry, of fucking course. You could do a loooot worse than just some stale chips.
Have you had your tonsils removed? >> No.
If Ashton Kutcher punk'd you, would you feel the need to punch him? >> I’ve never actually seen that show, so I don’t know how obnoxious the pranks are. But I’m going to guess they’re pretty obnoxious, and I’d probably want to punch someone.
Have you ever fallen off of a treadmill while walking/running? >> No.
Do ya speak gangsta, son? >> ... So, I speak AAVE as well as more standard English, yes, and I’d personally prefer it if people treated our dialects with a little more care and respect.
Do you drink milk right from the bottle/carton, or pour yourself a glass? >> I don’t drink milk.
Isn't Chef Boyardee awesome? >> Not to me. There’s something vaguely attractive about pasta that tastes like metal, because I’m chronically iron-deficient, but nah, I’d rather just suck on a penny.
Do you like marshmellows in your hot cocoa? >> I don’t drink cocoa, but if I did, I’d probably like it loaded up with marshmallows.
What reality show has been taken WAY too far? >> All of them.
If you were going on a trip, would you Mapquest the directions first? >> Heh, Mapquest.
Do you hide when Jehovah's Witnesses knock on your door? >> This has actually never happened to me. ...Mostly because having a door of my own for people to knock on hasn’t been a frequent occurrence, but also I just haven’t seen a lot of JWs out and about in recent years.
Did you ever think any of your teachers were HOT? >> Sure.
Doesn't it suck when you have a wedgie in a public place? >> Sure.
If you farted in front of your significant other, would he/she care? >> No.
White Castle: nasty or absolutely yummy?! >> It hits the spot sometimes.
When you burp at the dinner table, are you expected to excuse yourself? >> LOL “the dinner table”.
Must you grab a souvenir from almost everywhere you go? >> Not unless I see one I really like. Souvenir shirts and trinkets in New Orleans are an absolute art form, so I’m always down for one of those, but most souvenir stuff I see places are pretty uninspired IMO.
Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater? Which one? >> No, but I’ve definitely wanted to at least once.
Did you enjoy making things out of Play-Doh as a child? >> I don’t really recall making anything out of it. I recall opening the container just to smell it, lmao. I also recall thoughtlessly leaving it exposed to the open air and finding it bone-dry days later.
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notanotherjw · 6 years ago
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my conversation with my dad about homosexuality still holds in my memory, like a pivotal moment on my resolution about faith and family.
i still remember most of how it went. i was like, 15 or 16. mom and i were watching the TV and this commercial preview of out version of drag race came on, and my dad say "really nice, a bunch of faggots on a competition to see who's the biggest faggot" and i hated it so much. it was so uncalled for. he was always making derogatory jokes about gay men, and that i could handle, bc they were just extremely annoying, but i could hear the disgust on his voice and that just made me so angry
i told him to not call them "faggots" in my presence (also errr the distinction between a drag queen and a gay man is just, pretty logical and big but why would Mr Homophobe care) and he got angry at me and so did i. even though my mom is also homophobic she doesn't do those remarks and she told us to stop arguing. i couldn't bear my dad being a stupid asshole so i left and went upstairs to my room.
my dad knocked my door some minutes later and i immediately got scared, thinking about how the conversation would go. he started explaining his point of view about gay people, a mix between his own irrational disgust towards homosexuality and the inconsistent and empty arguments the JWs had taught him. i cut him, told him that he could think whatever he wanted, that all i was asking for was for him to stop referring to gay people like that in front of me, i didn't want (i didn't expect) anything else from him.
he asked me if i was a lesbian. during that time i thought i was demisexual, so it was easy to tell him no. the same way i don't need to be black to be against racism, i explained. i had made my point clear, as far as i was concerned.
he still went ahead to talk about why homosexuality is Wrong and all that shit, and said the phrase that lingers on my mind since that day. "if one of my kids were gay, then they would be dead for me. i would pretend i only have two kids."
it was a warning. a threat, even. it sank in my heart. i told myself, well it doesn't fucking matter, im not a lesbian, I'm not in risk, i won't be telling them anyways, once i turn 18 im off this house (im 18 now and look at me, sitting in the same room in which he told me those words). later, recently, i realized my attraction for women was bigger and stronger that i made myself believe, and that it dated so many years back. and that phrase stuck with me, sticks with me today. i think about it almost every day.
the fact that their love is conditioned. you can't really grasp it. they told me they love me despite everything, yet they have the nerve to tell me i had signed a contract of conditions for that love the day i was born. if they knew, God if they knew...
my sister, a jw, got pregnant at 19 from her non jw secret ex boyfriend. my brother, a non jw, started a long term relationship with his female classmate from 14 years old to 20. my parents learned to live with that, to accept them, to love their children despite the mistakes they had done. and sometimes i see my mom watching TV shows with gay couples on it without disgust, sometimes my sister would talk to me about a female youtuber and her cute girlfriend. and hope builds in my heart, it asks questions. how would they REALLY react? is it true when they told me they would love me over anything?
i try not to. i overhear my mom saying lesbians just date macs girls because they're secretly attracted to men. i overhear my dad repeating that crap about gay designers and tight pants. i remember my sister telling me i was confused and trying to follow teen trends when i told her i was pansexual when i was 13.
i still feel mostly safe about my sexual identity. i got to snuck out and be on my first pride march, im aro so i don't have girlfriends or try to, i almost never let them know about my personal life. but it's sad to see movies or shows when a closeted character comes out and they're met with such a warm welcome from their loved ones... man, i wish i could have that. i wish i could rely on my family for this instead of being so paranoid that they find out anything about me. i wish i could talk to them, ask questions without being judged, look for advice and comfort and finding it on them.
i wish i could feel safe on my own home.
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15 dog toys that your pooch (probably) can't destroy
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The world is filled with a wide variety of good dogs, but some are harder on their toys than others. You know the type: they take less than five minutes to turn a brand new stuffed animal into a cloud of torn cloth and stuffing.
It can be a challenge to pick the right gift for these dogs knowing that you're going to be shelling out money that leads to a big mess for you to clean up. 
I know this from first-hand experience. 
Before/After pic.twitter.com/FPqoMRgfkZ
— Marcus Gilmer (@marcusgilmer) March 12, 2018
So, what can you do to get something your high-energy, toy-tearing pup will enjoy for more than just one romp, while also being easy on your wallet? We've run down 15 solid options.
1. Virtually Indestructible Ball
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The 'indestructible' ball is a steady companion for active dogs.
Image: Chewy.com
Okay, so "virtually indestructible" doesn't mean totally indestructible, but this Grimace-like toy is made of "hard, tear-proof polyethylene," and that unusual shape means a lot of wobbly movement to keep your pup on their toes chasing it around. There are also a variety of sizes you can choose from depending on how big your furry friend is. 
Price: $16.99 on Chewy
2. Tuffy's Ocean Creatures Larry Lobster Dog Toy
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A lobster fit for a dog.
Image: Chewy.com
This adorable toy is made of multiple layers of "tuff" material and features webbing around the edges rather than a single seam, making it tougher for your pooch to rip the toy apart at its weakest points. Like a real lobster, this toy lobster can also be played with in water. Bonus points: it looks pretty easy to throw to keep your pup running after at it, tiring your dog out in the process.
Price: $15.88 on Chewy
3. goDog Dragons
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The goDog Dragon is no match for your hard-playing dog.
Image: Amazon
In a similar vein to the lobster, these dragon toys come in a wide range of sizes and colors. These flying monsters are a bit different for your own four-legged beast because they have a minimal amount of stuffing, which makes for fun, different play over typical stuffed toys. Double seams also reenforce the toys for those tough playing pups. 
Price: $8.88 and up depending on color on Amazon
4. Classic Kong dog toy
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The classic Kong toy for dogs
Image: Petsmart
This one's labeled a "classic" for a reason: it's a tried-and-true design that's not just durable but designed to keep a dog occupied for a while. These chew toys feature a hollow in which you can squirt in any number of treats. If you want to get even more play time out of these toys, fill one with peanut butter and then throw it in the freezer for a frozen treat that'll keep your dog occupied for a while.
Price: $7.49 - 24.99, varies by size on PetSmart
5. West Paw Zogoflex Tux
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The West Paw Zogoflex is similar to the kong while keeping dogs engaged
Image: Dog Tuff
If you want to up your game beyond the Kong, consider West Paw's Zogoflex Tux. Like the Kong, it's durable and features a pouch to stuff with treats or peanut butter to keep your dog engaged. But it has a completely different shape from the Kong that's bound to confuse and delight your active pooch. 
Price: $15.95 for small, $19.95 for large on Dog Tuff
6. Nylabone Dura Chew Power Chew
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Nylabones are a chewer's best friend
Image: Amazon
If you're dog's a chewer, there are a variety of products from Nylabone that offer dogs long-lasting chewtastic times. Unlike rawhides or other chew toys that eventually get totally chewed down and consumed, these bones are made of nylon that offer up long-term chewing for active dogs. Bonus point: These toys make good supplementary dental tools. 
Prices: Vary by size and flavor on Amazon
7. Sledgehog
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The sledgehog is designed to be a mouthful for destructive dogs
Image: Bark Shop
An ingenuous toy with an adorable design, the sledgehog is made of rubber and its ridged spikes make for fun bounces and also serve as grips for your dog's mouth. Throw it around and watch it bounce in odd directions to keep your pup on its toes. 
Price: $14 on Bark Shop
8. Tuppy Talon
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Okay, your dog loves to destroy toys, right? So why not give them a toy that's meant to be destroyed? The Tuppy Talon is a perfect trick: what appears to be a fluffy toy ripe for destruction holds a second, more durable spiked ball inside for additional fun. It's like two toys in one, and one heck of a bargain.
Price: $10 on Bark Shop
9. Ruff Dawg Dawg-Nut
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The Ruff Dawg Dawg-Nut is a perfect durable fetch toy
Image: Dog Tuff
Perfect fetch toy? Check. Lifetime durability guarantee? Check. Easily washable? Check. Usable in water? Check. The all-purpose Dawg-Nut is a perfect donut-shaped fetch toy for active dogs and it's durable enough to stand up to aggressive chewers.
Price: $18.95 on Dog Tuff
10. Nuts for Knots Heavy Duty Rope
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You'll never rope-a-dope your favorite dog with this fun toy
Image: Chewy.com
Rope toys are always a good, durable choice for high-octane dogs, offering plenty of fun whether it's for fetch, playing with a human, or a little wrangling with another dog. The heavy-duty rope will last a good while, and the loop on one end makes it easy to grip when you're taking on your dog in a little tug-of-war. Just be sure to keep an eye on any fraying.
Price: $2.99 to $16.69 depending on size on Chewy
11. Planet Dog Orbee-Tuff Snowball Dog Toy
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The Orbee-Tuff Snowball offers year-round fun, no matter the season.
Image: Planet Dog
Like a lot of similar toys, this one is perfect for fetch, for tug-of-war, or just letting your dog chew the day away. What's special about the Orbee-Tuff Snowball Dog Toy is made out of non-toxic recycled materialize and features "a 'Crystalline' texture that stimulates teeth and gums, great for chewers." 
Price: $14.95 at Planet Dog
12. Cycle Dog Flat Tire Flyer-Flying Disc
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The Cycle Dog Flat Tire Flyer-Flying Disc offers a "wheel" good time for dogs
Image: Amazon
If you're noticing a trend here, it's toys that are hard to destroy and can be used to play fetch because high energy dogs need all the help they can get in getting their zooms out. Enter the Cycle Dog Flat Tire Flyer-Flying Disc. It's easy for dogs to chase, but hard for them to ruin.
Price: $16.66 at Amazon
13. Mikayoo Fun Decoy Sandal Natural Cotton Rope
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The decoy sandal is perfect for you and your dog: they get to destroy something and it's not something you have to wear.
Image: Amazon
Okay, so your pooch likes to chew up your shoes or your sandals or your slippers or whatever it is you choose to put on your feet. Fool them with these handy-dandy rope toys that offer plenty of chewing time and makes them think they're destroying whatever they shouldn't be, because what is dog if not a mischievous little furball? 
Price: $7.99 at Amazon
14. JW Pet Good Cuz Dog Toy
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A two-legged toy for your four-legged friend
Image: Chewy
A bouncy, rubber toy that will bring lots of fun to your tireless dog, the squeaky JW Pet Good Cuz Dog Toy is another toy perfect for fetch or tug of war or just letting your pup chew and chew. The little toy's "legs" are a quirky design touch that add good grip if you're getting in on the fun with your dog. Fun bonus: There's a devil-horned version for the naughty pooch in your life.
Price: $3.95 to 7.95, depending on size on Chewy
15. Buck Bone Organics Elk Antler Dog Chews All Natural Healthy Chew
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A big antler chew for a very good dog
Image: Amazon
If you need something to occupy your destructive dog for a good spell of time, these antler chews are the perfect option to keep them chill and chewing. It's a durable treat that will require a lot of time and focus for your dog, keeping them entertained for quite a while. While the treat contains calcium and protein, it also helps keep teeth and gums clean thanks to all that chewing and won't turn into a goopy mess like rawhide bones will. 
Price: $9.99 and up depending on size on Buck Bone
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