#i wasnt ignoring i just couldnt think of an answer which is Insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brelione · 3 years

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Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going,

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

“Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered.

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring.

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated.

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning.

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window.

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment.

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered.

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story.

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed. “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street.

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

“Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

“Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

“What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

“I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in.

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

“Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile.

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them.

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy.

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room.

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries.

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom.

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested.

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded.

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it.

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose.

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh.

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

“Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways.

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh.

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob.

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued.

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

“Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know.

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

“Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs.

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you.

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color.

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

“I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

“How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

“I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter.

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed.

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper.

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text.

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps.

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left.

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

“We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project.

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

“I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist.

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

“Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall.

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots.

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

“Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall.

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back.

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away.

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso.

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly.

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again.

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much.

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house.

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon.

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end.

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

“Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

“I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

“Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right.

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well.

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

“So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602 @sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything @annmariek8 @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @simonsbluee @deionswannabegirl @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld@annmariek8 @harryswigss @ibookofstars @lostaurorax @cheshirecat107

#topper x reader #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #topper thorton smut #topper thornton fluff #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #kelce smith #kelce imagine #kelce x reader #kelce outer banks #the best boys

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kuroganeslayer · 4 years

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Jacket Day 2 Cojeel week

It was raining firecely as the wind was whipping across the sky and began to take place after both dragon slayers were hanging out at a pub just drinking while Cobra had fun time challenging people to toxic intensities of alcohol who thought they could out drink him. The suspecting victims failed. Then things became chaotic. Gajeel was rocking out to his electric guitar while drinking strong concoctions of liquor as Erik adopted ear plugs once the audience gotten more insane with mixtures of cheers and jeers and the onslaught of food or drinks being thrown at him. He wasnt a bad singer, alot better that some entertainment, but people had various taste in it. The poison dragon slayer only rolled his eye as he saw some of the fight and mentally blocked out all the noise pollution that were ripping through his ears. Even with ear plugs wasnt saving him from it as he just stormed over, collected his partner by grabbing him by the collar as Gajeel pulled at Erik's coat as if in protest.

The next day the Iron dragon lay sprawled out on his bed as the sun shine brightly in his face. Cursing to himself he looked at his green and black dragonic designed phone that had a panther sticker on the back of it in a drowsy manner. His head was fuzzy as he blinked several times to get back his senses, and then he wondered why he was so sore and noticed the jacket he was wearing was not his. "Fuck? What happened last night?"

He glanced at his phone noticing a few missed calls. Instead of answering he began to text his partner in crime.

📱

Text [Snake King] Aw shit these are not my clothes. I shouldnt have gotten wasted last night. I'm blaming you...

The poison dragon slayer was soundfully asleep as he heard the Poison theme tune in. For a moment he glared at the black designed snake phone as he ignored it a for a few minutes until the titanium theme came on and he quickly hit ignore knowing Gajeel was going to call him. So instead tapped in a reply.

Text [Hard Rocker] That's your own fucking fault...wait a fuck? You didnt just steal my clothes again? 😠

Text[Snake King] My bad. It's just your jacket and not your tight ass pants. They are very restricting and would only call attention to me

Text [Hard Rocker] Idiot. Which jacket? I have several a white one that flares out and a warmer coat that has a fur collar, including a black one that also has a flare. Hey...I like the straps and those were when I worked for the Oracion Seis, you probably eat the metal off them.

Text [Snake Master] No I wouldnt...I have my own belts. Eh your black one, but it fits me...I think I'll hang on to it.

Text[Hard Rocker] FUCK NO! IM NOT LETTING YOU WEAR IT SO YOU CAN TEAR IT UP WHEN YOU GET INTO A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE. ALL YOUR CLOTHES ARE IN TATTERS SO WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU WITH MINE!!!!! 👿

Text[Snake Master] ALRIGHT....CALM THE FUCK DOWN! Its my shit, and I like to show off, but your jacket reminds me of you. I would never intentionally wreck it.... 😑

Text [Hard Rocker] I want it back the next time we meet up. You can wear it when we are hanging around together, but not in front of anyone else or im going to kill you.

Text [Snake King] can always get ya more clothes... that sounds like a threat and if your gonna play that way then dont expect anything in return from me.

Text [Hard Rocker] Fine be that way. It's not like you can find anyone better to control the sexual tension.

Text [Snake King] Fuck off Erik! Your my boyfriend and I have eyes for only you bastard.

Text [Hard Rocker] Sounds like I hit a nerve....Idiot I take it back.. I'm not going to fight with you about a stupid jacket. Just take a picture so I can see you in it.

Text [Snake King] okay.....now I remeber ya let me have it due to the rain so I wouldnt rust

Text [Hard Rocker] I vaguely know that we messed around. That is so stupid wouldnt be able to handle my poison, smart ass.

Text [Snake King] In the rain? No wonder I'm sore and I can handle you just fine.

Text [Hard Rocker] No, we made out in the rain, but I did teach you a lesson from taking me to a bar so that I could be around all the noisy idiots.

Text [Snake King] Be glad ya cant get drunk though I'm sure you be fun if ya were. I got you back for it didnt I?

Text [Hard Rocker] Dancing on the table like an idiot? I'll pass. Lots of people envy me and it's so amusing to see their expressions. Right now your pissing me off by wearing my jacket. Why couldnt it have been that cloak. You look so good in it.

Text [Snake King] I know that I'm hot that's why I let you see me in it -

shows video of him dancing to I'm sexy and ya know wearing the jacket

Text [Hard Rocker] Show off!

#fuckyeahcojeel #cojeelweek #gajeel #gajeel redfox #cobra/erik #cojeel #not great very akward but wanted to do something with text

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drchrismurray · 5 years

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|| I’m A Mess ||

who: Chris Murray and Dr. Marietta Winslow with mentions of Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez, Sam Evans, Mercedes Jones and Noah Puckerman

when: Friday Morning

why: Chris has therapy

“Chris… Chris are you with me?” Chris blinked a few times, his mind completely elsewhere other than in the small room he was seated in. He looked around at the blank walls, painted what he could only assume was supposed to be a calming grey. It looked much like his own office where he met his clients. Comfy seats, walls that made his patients feel safe. And pictures of him and his family that made him relatable so his patients felt that they could talk to him. He knew the tricks were just that. Tricks. Which was why he was having such a hard time in this particular session. “What?” he finally replied. “I asked if you were okay,” Dr. Winslow leaned foward. “We started talking about your family and you sorta blanked out.” Christ adjusted in his seat and shrugged. “What do you want me to say Doc?” The older woman sighed and leaned back. “Chris… this isnt new for you. Not only do you do this for a living but we’ve been meeting each other for nearly two months and you’ve made progress but today it’s like you dont actually want to be here. So why are you here?” “Because I’m paying you $100 an hour,” he quipped, not earning a response from her. He sighed deeply and rubbed his now sweating hands on his pants before clearing his throat. “I’ve just been having a hard time.” “Chris,” she said again. “You were diagnosed with depression, something that millions of people deal with. And on top of that, your life hasnt exactly been a walk in the park. Your mother died when you were a child, and your father shipped you off to live with relatives when you were 16. You became a father at 17, and eventually married a woman who tried to kill your cousin. You have had more than a hard time…I just want to help you. Or we can sit here for the rest of the hour and not talk at all.” He tried to ignore the ripping in his chest and stared out the window. “Today was hard,” he started. “I didnt wanna get out of bed this morning. I felt pretty empty and I know you said these new meds would kick in soon but I feel like I’m drowning…. Last night I couldnt sleep and I just stared at Brittany… I just kept wondering why the hell she was with me.: “Why do you think she’s with you?” Dr. Winslow asked. “Do you want the real answer or what I tell myself?” “Both.” Chris swallowed and looked down at the ground, knowing that honesty was actually the best policy. He wasnt dumb, he knew that if he was going to be able to manage the storm that was his brain, he needed to lay all his shit bare. Even if it made him feel gross. “Most days I tell myself it’s because she loves me. Because she realized that she wanted to be with me. Other days I think it’s just because we have Ari. Because I’m convenient. Because... Puck isnt here.” He hated thinking it. That he was second best and that he didnt deserve to be with Brittany. Most days he was okay. Most days he knew he deserved to be happy. But those days were overshadowed by the days when he felt completely and utterly useless and unwanted. Dr. Winslow nodded. “Have you always felt like that?” “I dont know,” he shrugged. “Maybe? I always wondered what if we hadnt gotten pregnant? What if she’d had an abortion or if we just hadnt dated at all… would we be together right now?” “And?” “And… the answer scares me.” “Why?” “Because I knew that had we not had Ari. Had we not dated at all, I’d still have been with Santana and I would’ve married her…And she’d still be with Puck. He mightve still cheated but it wouldnt’ve been with Steph and maybe just maybe he’d still be alive.” “That’s a lot to put on yourself Chris. How does that make you feel?” “I dont know. I know that I love Brittany. So much. And I dont regret a single bit of our life together. And I want to be with her forever. But had she and Puck not broken up, she wouldnt have given me the time of day.” She nodded. “Does that make you feel insecure? Or unworthy?” Chris shrugged with a small nod.. “Look I know I’m good looking. I know I’m charming. I can turn it on whenever I want but the people who I fall in love with rarely love me back. Shawn was too deep in the closet to admit ever feeling anything for me. And Santana well I cant blame her because she barely loved herself when we dated as kids. And Stephanie was insane and cheated on me repeatedly. What makes me so sure Brittany is different?” “Is this why you have such a hard time thinking of marrying her?” Chris licked his lips and frowned. “Maybe? I wanna give her the world but marriage just sounds like something I never wanna do again. I mean everyone’s marriage has fallen apart. Charice and Dylan are divorced, Sam and Cedes never even made it down the aisle even though they’ve tried a combined number of three times. Why would I be the exception?” Dr. Winslow sighed softly and leaned forward. “Chris… I think when it comes to dating you’ve faced a lot of rejection. With Shawn, he rejected not only his sexuality but you as well. With Santana, she hid a lot of things from you and while I dont believe you were perfect, I think that’s added to your current mindset. With Stephanie, she cheated on you and then hurt someone you care about. I think it’s totally valid that you feel like marriage isnt something you want because you are yet to feel stable in any romantic relationship you’ve been in. But I think right now is a chance for you to try creating your own stability.” “How so?” he questioned. “Chris, have you told Brittany you’ve been meeting with me yet?” He started to shake his head. “Doc, I told you I cant. Look we’ve all been through so much shit the last year, I cant add this on. She’s already having a hard time with Cedes being gone and these new damn friends of hers that frankly suck. If I add depressed boyfriend to that, I dont know what she’ll do.” “Perhaps you arent giving her the chance to react. You’re basically taking her option away because you’re afraid she’ll reject you… maybe this even plays into the fact that you feel like you need to be the shoulder for everyone else. It’s a coping mechanism. You deal with other’s problems because maybe if they see you have a use for them they wont reject you much like your romantic partners and even your own family did as a youth.” Chris winced and clutched his chest due to the honesty in her words. “Ouch… Jesus Doc.” She shrugged a shoulder. “You dont pay me to lie to you,” she said. “Next week, I want to hear that you’ve not only told Brittany but that you’ve given her a chance to prove that you are in a stable, healthy relationship. One that wont end in rejection. Allow her to prove you wrong Chris.” Chris nodded, not wanting to do what she said but knowing that it would be helpful. “What if she proves me right?” he whispered. “Then you two made a beautiful little girl. And being with her taught you a lot. But she isnt the one you’re gonna end up with and that’s okay too. Stability starts in you first. Not in someone else.” Chris sighed loudly and rubbed the back of his head before standing. “Wow Doc, I feel like they need to pay you the big bucks.” “Aw Chris,” she grinned. “They already do. See you next week?” “Next week it is.”

#para: I'm A Mess

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lovestill-exists · 4 years

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money

currency. that thing we chasing. i literally told a kid today that i needed to get a covid test so that i could eat tomorrow.

really, thats just an exaggeration though. To be honest, BrUTALLY so-- i am awful with the stuff.

I lost my wallet while running down the beach bed, flirting with the waves up to my ankles. the bitch stole it. ive been feeling that itch of something taking it the entire day. but what did i do? I pushed that sense out of the way, finding it really annoying. but it wasn’t wrong, was it? it never is

i felt like an idiot. especially when i was whispering wishes to the ocean, asking her about something completely different.. i trusted it was listening, answering my questions in its own, vague way the universe typically does.

instead, it swept up my wallet and gave me false hopes. im livid. genuinely mad

also, the job i took the covid test for isnt responding back to me. probably cos theyre on location and i was meant to look for a breakfast place for 40 people, but i didnt.. cos i told them i needed the address. “please send me the address to your location for tomorrow and i can get right on that” but nope. my hiring location scout told me a sad story instead over the phone, where she had awful reception and i couldn't hear half the words she said.. tried to tell her i couldnt hear her very well, that if she could quickly text me the information id need, then i can start doing my job.. but i doubt she heard me.

i called her again after getting back to my apartment to ask for that information

three hours later, she calls back but doesnt leave a voicemail

i call her back half an hour later and she answers, then hangs up.no call back.

and at this point, im not even mad if i dont work tomorrow. free covid test. ill get my results and have these days off again. I can make my doctor’s appointment.

will i be able to pay for the damn appointment. yes.

will it hurt to do it? only my ego..

I only have the foresight to be able to save a shitton of money if i need it.. call it a cautionary evil, quite necessary but.. its not as big of a basin as id like it to be. sometimes i wonder if im good at anything else.. make money on the side doing.. something else besides being a badass on set

cos set life isnt how it used to be. safe, that is.

I’m not above taking pictures of my feet, for instance.

but maybe.. i should look a lil deeper. I’m also not above working a 9-5 again

at least, until i find this thing im meant to be doing, besides rescuing dogs or something.. at least rescuing someone else, instead of someone rescuing me.

My boyfriend had enough foresight to lend me some money so i can get back home safely. i wasn’t even thinking about it. he mentioned how calm i seemed over losing my wallet, how no one could be blamed for going completely insane over it. but im used to it. how much worse does that sound?

Losing your wallet is losing your identity. your name. your address that isnt the one you reside at anymore but the one that felt closer to home in a long LONG time. your totem, the one your mother printed for you to assure that "abundance is always there for you". ha. my two debit cards.. probably my insurance card ive never used. a membership card for go karts in the bay area.. and 23 dollars.

what a loss. and at the same time.. i dont feel it as badly as i should.

like im lost. truly. like why dont i follow my inner instincts ushering me to just shut up and pay attention to it for once? i walked around, paid for things the entire day and everytime my wallet was in my hands, i had a sinking feeling of dread. that i need to keep it safe. and i felt stupid for feeling that way. so conflicted. money never meant so much to me. why was i worried.. was i overspending? was i depending on it too much?

but now i just feel stupid i hadnt listened.. i do that all the damn time. i get a sense of something before it happens and i ignore it. im.. worst at listening to myself than my actual financial responsibilities.

i felt that stupidity every time i stopped at a gas station on the way back to my apartment from LA. The act of taking out cash and walking away from the pump inside to let the guy behind the counter authorize the transaction for me.. I only stopped twice.. the second place i stopped at, i convinced myself to stop simply cos i knew the place well and it would be the quickest stop id make on my trip. i kept second guessing my route back home solely as to whether id be making the right choice to go there.

it was at this gas station that a kid came up to me, mask no where on his face, but swearing he wasnt homeless.. just a lil scared. he needed gas to get home but his card was declined. asked me if i had any cash or if i could cash app him some money, just enough to get home.

I hesitated, thinking in the back of my mind if i was going to be alright to give him anything. i had no cards, no more cash than what i had to get home, and i still needed a covid test to get to, where i was unsure if id had to pay for it out of pocket. told him “Sorry, i dont have an iphone” and hes like “shit.. can i please ask you to pay for at least five dollars, you can stand by the pump-!”

“sorry, i lost my debit cards.. haha”

“oh shiiit.. hahaha..”

“yeah.. but i do have a bit of cash my dude. let me get it for you”

“Oh shit, really?? thank you so much!”

This kid, obviously young, a teenager, looked so relieved. cos the more i said something unhelpful, the more panicked he started to look. and i was gut punched by it. i was this kid, worried about his next paycheck, wondering why i was so bad at money, why i couldnt be responsible.

and im not trying to say that was his deal today, his card could have declined for any real reason. but i was that panicked once. its stupid to feel that way over something so.. fucking stupid. something that rules over everyone a little too much.. when we should really not be worried about our next meal, or when our next job will come. i handed him the cash, booked my covid test and booked it out of there. all so “i could eat tomorrow”

i use money to make things just a lil easier. i dont try too hard to be irresponsible. but definetly dont make myself too responsible either. its just habit otherwise, which could be the only thing keeping me afloat. but there is another lesson im missing too.. maybe still not money related. or if it is.. i clearly dont have the answer for it yet.

still learning that one

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spidey-michelle · 7 years

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I Like Me Better When Im With You {spideychelle}

Synopsis: Michelle ignores her boyfriend peter for two weeks because of Liz returning to town , but peter finds her crying in the hallway during her last period when she should be enjoying her favorite class.

------///--

tap tap tap

Was all Peter heard in his mind . The constant sound of the cap of his pen hitting his notebook. His mind was too busy occupied with worrying for Michelle , his girlfriend . She’d been ignoring him for almost two weeks now , and it was affecting him greatly . His thoughts were always now clouded with her smile , her laugh , her snarky smart-ass attitude that he missed so much . Now , it was even interfering with his Spider-Man life , even if he’d get his mind under control , she always nagged him in the back of the head . Distracting Peter during his fights , was something that was unexpected and alarming . But , right now , in his English class , he was putting on the best optimistic attitude and not check the clock every 5 seconds .

he was thankful it was his last class of the day

Michelle didn’t know what to do with herself , she felt like she was tearing her mind apart . She was leaning against the door of the girls’ bathroom trying to stay calm , before she actually went insane . For the first time ever , she had skipped class . It was consuming every ounce in her body , not to run up to peter and explain how she was feeling . But she couldn’t , being the awkward shell of a girl , she’d always been , it scared Michelle into the introvert she grew up being . If you give her a political topic and a mic , she would go on for hours about the many reasons of her passionate thoughts . But emotions , simply weren’t her thing at all . Gosh , it took her a week after Peter first kissed her , to finally admit her feelings to him . That was just awkward for the both of them if she was being honest .

Liz Allen was coming back into town , after a year of being in Oregon . Michelle walked to the sink , and just set her hands on the counter and examined herself. Michelle thought back to the times where she actually talked to Liz , and began comparing herself to the older girl . Which she’d never done before .

Liz had such beautiful dark straight hair , that just shined in the light , it was the perfect length , past her shoulders and all . Also , that pearly-white smile that most girls probably envied everytime she opened her mouth . She was so nice and caring to everyone she met...

But Michelle stopped herself , she shut her eyes harshly , trying to stop the comparisons that were flooding through her mind at a record speed . Michelle hated the fact that she was letting herself think all of this , she knew how smart she was . She wasn’t the ugliest person in the room , either . But , Peter liked Liz before her .

She remembers the puppy eyes that would follow the every move of Liz Allen . All coming from Peter Parker . Hell , he was probably in love with her . Michelle opened her eyes , noticing the dampness on her face from multiple tears falling down her face . She wasnt going to allow herself to cry in school , Michelle felt the world around her ultimately fall apart in front of her eyes . So , she gathered whatever strength she had left , as she relied on physical strength over the emotional drainage she’d been going through alone .

But the irony in her life , only got stronger as the bell rang , the minute she set her hand on the knob . “fuck” mumbled Michelle . Now , she would have to walk through the sea of tired teenagers and get home without drawing any attention to herself . She hoped that Ned could keep Peter occupied for a couple more minutes after his Chemistry class . Peter always waits for him after that class , that was her “after last class” routine with the boy . She was able to calm herself down fully , and wiped any tears off her face with the back of her hoodie sleeve. Michelle decided to mumble words of encouragement to herself , she hated to admit it . But in times like these , she was a changed person . A vulnerable , self cautious , insecure teen 17 year old girl . She despised it .

Once she heard the rustling of the kids calm down a bit , she stepped out of the bathroom and began the walk to her locker . Luckily , she reached it without a problem and sighed to herself . Her heart felt like it dropped a couple feet , because of the absence of Peter . It was really all her fault , for pushing him away so suddenly , she felt stupid and childish for her actions.

She regretted opening her locker because a photo of Peter and her was still hanging on the bottom left corner of her locker . Michelle didnt know when it started , but she felt the tears stream down her face in a quiet sob . She tried taking deep breaths to stop herself , which only worked for a few seconds . She grabbed the photo , through blurry eyes , she could still see their smiles printed on the paper . She bit her lip , to choke back a sob from escaping her dry mouth and looked at Peter’s face only once more and threw it in the back of her small locker . She grabbed her backpack that was hanging from the door , and shoved a couple more books and pencils in it . But she couldn’t stop crying , it was insane to Michelle , why she couldnt just say how she initially feels about people , or about certain events . She accepted the fact that she was odd a long time ago , but it was all catching up to her now .

She was about to wipe another tear from her face for the millionth time , it felt like , when she heard someone next to her . She didn’t even dare to look , because if it was who , she thought it was , she would just collapse in his arms.

“Are you alright?” the voice asks , and she knew her suspicions were correct , like they always were. She nods her head , hiding half of her face in her locker. She managed to croak out a simple “im doing just fine , Peter”. Her hands held onto the locker door for just any type of support , she needed it .

“MJ, close the locker...don’t hide from me anymore.” It was a first for Michelle for him to sound so serious about her . Well , that’s what she gets for avoiding her boyfriend for two weeks. Then . she realized how much she was aching to talk to him about her emotional state , and she knew how much of a great listener he was . With shaky hands , she closed her locker , and turned to face Peter. She set her hands at her sides , so he could look at her tear stained face .

Peter felt like absolute shit , just seeing Michelle with her legs crossed in front of the other , looking almost afraid of looking him in the eyes , was making him feel a certain way he wasnt used to . It broke him inside , he noticed her red face almost instantly . She still had tears barely , passing her cheeks . She looked broken , confused , and just helpless , As a boyfriend , he felt horrible . As a friend , he felt responsible , and as Spider-Man , he wanted to fight someone just to get rid of those feelings .

Michelle hadn’t looked eyes with Peter , for nearly a minute and she had already wanted to leave . She felt ashamed in a way , for making herself feel like this and had not wanted any help . “im sorry , that iv’e been avoiding you . Peter..” Michelle says softly , great! from experience she knew to start slowly with the confessions and ease her emotions into the conversation , she knew that Peter would have endless questions about .

Michelle was swaying from her left to her right foot , wanting Peter to answer quicker . “ i could care less about that right now.. i mean- of course i want to know why you put me through this emotional distress , but you crying in front of me , isn’t making me feel good” The next thing she knew , she ran into Peter’s arms and just wanted to stay there forever . Peter immediately hugged back and wrapped both arms tightly around the girl , feeling relieved of finally touching her. He stroked her hair softly , cooing in her left ear , wanting her to stop crying in his arms , he would do anything . Michelle was just so overcome with all possible emotions , and she needed a hug from one of the most important people in her life , and she finally accepted it .

“ baby , stop crying.. im here now! tell me what’s wrong , just talk to me , i miss hearing that beautiful voice of your’s” Peter , was content with her in his arms but the answers he wanted , weren’t being said and it confused him .

“ Liz is coming back to town..”he hears her whisper to him , so faintly that he asks her to repeat it again . But , that only causes her to pull away from him , and stand back .

In a more clear voice she says , “Liz is coming back to town , Peter”

Peter almost felt the need to shrug because of the mention of his old crush , almost two years ago now . “what’s the big deal?’ Peter says , watching her expressions change . “the big deal is that , i cant compete with someone like her”

Peter was taken back by her choice of words , and did in fact , step backwards to show emphasis . His MIchelle...was intimidated by Liz? He shook his head and replied “ woah! who said anything about liz , and why are you saying you cant compete with her.... Michelle sighs and says “ Peter , you were in love with the girl.. i watched as you fell for her , you dont know if old feelings will come back. I may not read teen romance novels , but feelings that never get buried , never die”

----///--

there may be a part two so stay tuned.

#tomdaya #tom holland and zendaya #peter and mj #peter x mj #peter and michelle #spideychelle #spider man: homecoming #marvel #imagine #part 1

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

Text

Why financial literacy fails (and what to do about it)

April is Financial Literacy Month in the United States. This is a pure and noble thing. I think it's great that there's one month each year devoted to promoting smart money habits. That said, it has become increasingly apparent over the years that most financial literacy programs fail. They don't work. And this isn't just me speaking anecdotally. In a 2014 paper from Management Science, three researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 201 prior studies regarding the efficacy of financial literacy. Their conclusion? Interventions to improve financial literacy explain only 0.1% of the variance in financial behaviors studied, with weaker effects in low-income samples. Like other education, financial education decays over time; even large interventions with many hours of instruction have negligible effects on behavior 20 months or more from the time of intervention. To put it in plain English, financial literacy education makes no discernible difference in behavior. People who take personal-finance classes manage their money no better (and no worse) than the general population. We're pumping tons of money and time into a fruitless endeavor. All of this push to promote financial literacy accomplishes nothing. Zero. Nada. Why is that?

It probably won't surprise you to learn that I have some strong opinions on this subject. Today, let's talk about why financial literacy fails (and what to do about it). Note: This afternoon (April 24th) at 4 p.m. Pacific (7 p.m. Eastern), I'll be part of a Facebook Live interview about this very subject. If you're free at that time, you should join us! Update: Here's the entire interview. Why Financial Literacy Fails Financial literacy fails because it almost universally addresses only one part of the problem: math and mechanics. FinLit (as it's sometimes called) focuses on facts and figures while largely ignoring behavior. This is insane. This is like promoting sex education that talks about penises and vaginas while never discussing what it's like to be madly in love with somebody, so in love that your brain stops working. For sex education to be effective, it has to deal with real-world circumstances and behavior. It has to teach about psychology and emotions, not just body parts. The same is true with financial literacy. In fact, the same is true with actual literacy. The National Assessment of Adult Literacy says that working literacy has two components. The operational piece of literacy focuses solely on knowledge. It involves word-level reading skills such as recognizing words.The conceptual piece of literacy focuses on everyday tasks: Literacy is the ability to use printed and written information to function in society, to achieve one's goals, and to develop one's knowledge and potential. The first part of literacy is about mechanics. The second part is about practical application. Modern financial literacy efforts spend nearly all of their time on the knowledge piece. I've reviewed maybe a dozen FinLit programs over the years. Most pay no more than lip service to behavior, to the conceptual piece of financial literacy. Let me give you an example from my own life. When I was in high school (w-a-y back in the mid-1980s), every senior in our district was required to pass a class in personal finance. It covered topics like compound interest, the Federal Reserve, how to write a check, and the dangers of credit cards. I took that class. I aced every test. And five years later, I had the beginnings of a debt habit. I'd mastered the knowledge but not he behavior. The behavior was never taught. From what I can tell, the kids from my high school grew up to be no different than the rest of Americans. We learned the basics of financial literacy, but it had no perceivable impact on the way we saved and spent and earned. We still made stupid mistakes. We still spent more than we earned. Why? Because facts and figurs are only one-half of financial literacy. (And I'd argue they aren't even the most important half.) The solution to financial literacy isn't to feed people more facts and figures. It isn't to teach them how bonds work or to explain the sheer awesomeness of a Roth IRA. If we want to boost financial literacy in the United States, what we really need to promote is behavioral education. Behavioral Finance Personal finance is simple. Fundamentally, you need to know only one thing: To build wealth, you must spend less than you earn. The end. That's it. We can all go home now. Everything else simply builds on this. Why, then, is it so hard for everyone to get ahead? For some people, the problem is systemic. There's no doubt that some people are trapped in a cycle of poverty, and they truly need outside help to overcome the obstacles they face. But for most of us, the issue is internal: The problem is us. In other words, I am the reason that I can't get ahead. And you are the reason that you can't get ahead. It's not a lack of knowledge about compounding and credit cards that holds us back, but a chain of bad behavior. The math and mechanics of personal finance are easy. It's the psychological side of money that's hard. One of the key tenets of this site is that money is more about mind than it is about math. That is, our financial success isn't determined by how smart we are with numbers, but how well we're able to control our emotions our wants and desires. There's actually a branch of economics called behavioral finance devoted exclusively to this phenomenon, exploring the interplay between economic theory and psychological reality. There's a new wave of folks who are exploring the gamification of personal finance; they're trying to turn money management into a game. More and more, experts are seeing that our economic decisions aren't based on logic, but on emotion and desire. It's time that financial literacy programs incorporated these new(-ish) approaches into their curriculum. For years, I struggled with money. I knew the math, but I still couldnt seem to defeat debt. It wasnt until I started applying psychology to the situation that I was able to make changes. For instance, I used the debt snowball to pay down my debt in an illogical yet psychologically satisfying way. It worked. And Ive learned that by having financial goals such as travel Im much more inclined to save than if I have no goals at all. Behavioral Literacy

To me, the answer to our country's crazed consumerism and poor financial skills has nothing to do with traditional financial literacy. (Okay, maybe it has a little to do with traditional financial literacy.) Instead, I see two fundamental problems that need to be addressed. First, we soak in a bath of the mass media. We're constantly exposed to a barrage of programming in which we're given subtle messages about what people do (or should) consume. We cannot help but be influenced by the power of marketing. (I've talked to many people who think they're immune to marketing. I just shake my head and think, You, my friend, are the most influenced of all.)Secondly, we don't think about our spending. We spend on impulse. Or we spend to subconsciously keep up with our family and friends to keep up with the Joneses. We spend to make ourselves feel better when we're down and blue. We spend to show off. We spend on things we think we want instead of the things we actually use and do. We spend because spending is a habit. Instead of teaching Americans about credit cards and rates of return, we need to be teaching them about behavioral finance. We need to be showing them how to break free from the marketing messages that are all around. We need to be showing them how to set (and achieve) personal goals, especially financial goals. We need to teach skills like conscious spending. There's a reason that my core message doesn't start with math and mechanics. It starts by asking people to think about their goals and purpose. This is the piece of financial education that's missing in our society. This is what financial literacy education ought to be teaching. Note: For a clear demonstration of how I'd approach financial literacy if I were to design a program, check out my Money Boss Manifesto. It's a free ebook that outlines the financial philosophy I've developed after nearly fifteen years of reading and writing about money. The Bottom Line Sometimes people wonder why we don't spend more time on the nitty gritty of money around here. Why we don't cover more topics like where to find the best credit cards or how to create a budget? It's because deep inside, I believe these things are secondary. I believe behavior is more important. Building a better budget isn't going to change your attitude toward saving and spending; but changing you attitude toward saving and spending could very well lead you to building a better budget. Ultimately, if we want Americans to be smarter with their money, we need to encourage them to consume less media to avoid advertising and we need to teach them to master the emotional side of personal finance. We need to show them how to change their behavior. We need to appeal to their self-interest. We need to help them find intrinsic motivation to save. Each of us needs to dig deep inside to find what it is that's important to us, what it is that brings us joy, and we need to prioritize that instead of all the other garbage. I'm not suggesting that we abandon traditional financial literacy completely. But I think a constant push for more financial education is a waste of time if it's only going to focus on mechanics, to stick to facts and figures. To truly be successful, financial education has to address the behavioral side of money because that is absolutely the biggest piece of the puzzle.

Author: J.D. Roth In 2006, J.D. founded Get Rich Slowly to document his quest to get out of debt. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest. Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals. https://www.getrichslowly.org/why-financial-literacy-fails-and-what-to-do-about-it/

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somedaypast-thesunset · 6 years

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i constructed this personality. and ts like.. i’m not going to say arrogant because i wouldnt call it that. it’s really like a borderline manipulation? maybe? it’s hard to speak about yourself in such terribly harsh terms. but i think it is manipulative in .. a number of ways. like i definitely control how i could be perceived on a certain level and i’m intelligent enough to follow cues of like how i can “get over” on certain people.

this is very much like my own mother.

and then these people, i “use” them as a way to continually cement whatever delusional beliefs i have in myself at that time. and this is why i prefer to cultivate individual relationships rather than group ones because i can better control perception and beliefs with one person at a time. and this is why its very easy to drop people when my perceptions of myself have shifted. but many of these perceptions are negative - i feel depressed. i want the people around me to feed my depression and if they dont, well they don’t understand or respect how i’m living.

and the thing is - i totally bought into my own bullshit. in these moments, i whole heartedly believe i am a true victim of life and circumstances - maybe i am, who the fuck knows but that is my fucking identity and it needs to be acknowledged.

if one version of my beliefs contradicts another and ive sold them to two different people, those two cannot co exist in my life.

i definitely use sex as a manipulation tool as well but i also have genuine love. like it’s probably sick mental illness love but i really do have love.

im failing in large professional group situations because i cannot control the individual perceptions of me and i am very... sensitive but not necessarily insecure to any perceived negativity towards me and those things ruminate so i try to avoid those people again for that particular reason.

but the thing is i’m not trying to control their perception so they think i’m great. i don’t care about that. i just want them to believe what i think of myself. and i generally think i’m a victim and incapable and traumatized to paralyzation. but again, i believe this. i whole heartedly believe i am this person at this time and it affects me; i’m depressed, suicidal, trapped, isolated etc. and i express these feelings to have them confirmed from others, much like seeking approval, so that cycle can continue and i end up in a complete breakdown, wanting to die and suffocating, reaching out for help that i’m never really going to get.

but this personality is really really really ingrained in order to protect myself. i dont want people to know that this is all just a rouse and i’m just building a weird psychosis against society until my mental barriers of right an wrong break down. i’m nuts. i would never in a millio years show anyone these rwritings because it is a true testament to how bat shit insane i truly am. there are small breaks in between but its soooo up and down.

in january - while being on medication, i had a bit of apathy and some issues with warren which worked themselves out but i still felt isolated which probably had something to do ith “under appreciated” and “being misunderstood”; both pretty big red flags to a negative perception of reality. i had some lingering anger about society. in march i continued to feel isolated and i guess thought living together ould solve the problem because i was happy ith him but also happy about answering to no one.

in april i decided to apply for college; i was sometimes taking the medication i as prescribed but would miss 2 - 3 days before i stopped taking it altogether. still, i felt isolated but also seemed to just be ignorant to how much harm i had caused in the previous three months of dealing ith someone who was living in their own altered reality.

by june i hit a severe depression; i wasnt taking any medication at all and i was severly unhappy with everyone around me. i had to move, i was accepted to college but couldnt bear leaving and starting over again

july i had been prescribed anti depressants that i did not take at all. i was very aggravated and very depressed and felt like he didnt care about it (probably because i was unhappy with everyone for a month)

in august i had a lot of seperation anxiety and frustration with my ‘professional life’ i’m not even sure exactly what it was but i wrote in my notes ‘self delusional’ and underlined it so i feel like i as super delusional about myself or how i was acting and i was beginning to ruminate much more on my trauma.

by september im completely focused on my trauma and shifting the blame and a lot of stress about moving and the whole finding him apartments thing and just an overall disconnect in communication.

in october, i’m now just in rambling self delusions and resentful at him, probably about moving. i am back to being unhappy about society

by november i’m focused on socieety, i feel isolated, i have extreme anxiety and victimizing myself.

this is really rare evidence in my life, written by the most accurate source. i cannot argue with myself. all i can do is look at it and accept it for what it is and i would really rather forget how really not good this is. like lbr, it’s look like had i continued to take the medication even at a super staggered pace i wouldve been 5% better in life. instead i went off of it and went back to severly wanting to die.

so i guess - kudos to myself for being pretty fucking insane and still making it to 28 years old. thats actually really good.

i think im ready to genuinely lose him. not in like a “oh fuck u i hate u” kind of way but that i understand that for what i do want, i’m not mentally well enough to have it from him, someone who has all the right in the world to go live a normal rich life. even crazy, i do deserve someone who loves me and ants to be with me and will also help me. its like my former best friend; i knew she deserved better and i think he deserves a better chance at least.

he told me to write him a list of ways he could help me.

- i want to share a life with someone. you either continue out of pity or by defaullt to ask me to come to your house and participate in your life but you do not understand the weight of “sharing a life”. it means having and planning a future together, to have the expectation that this person will be around and apart of your support system and you might need to accomidate them to do so. right now it’s easy. youre “fulfilling the role” except for any indication of stability or a future. the more time i spend with someone who pretends to share a life with me but doesnt actually commit to a stable future, the more it feeds into my own self hatred, perpetuating the cycle. i would not second guess everything if i truly believed i have a normal legitimate future with you. i wouldnt spend time ruminiating and second guessing and cycling and spiraling into past trauma. to help me is to commit or walk away.

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