#i will come back to drawing one day i prommy idk whats making me not do that rn

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

hey. hey. heyheyhey. today, june 12th, is a very special day. y'know why?

exactly one year ago today, you sent me the first official tiana loves kell sunday ask. and since that day, you and i have grown from casually supportive mutuals to actual family. it is remarkable how much can change in 365 days.

every single weekend, we drop into each other's inboxes to give little kindnesses. we've swapped numbers. we've shared secrets and stories. you've offered me perspective, strength and compassion when i've needed it, and i've offered back a listening ear, reassurance, and well-deserved bullying directed at anyone who has crossed you. we're confirmed, over and over, that we are the funniest motherfuckers alive. i infected you with mcr. you accidentally fell into the hellhole that is professional wrestling, and then decided you liked it down here with me. when the new fob dropped, we got to experience that togehter. we've spent countless nights going fucking batshit insane over fall out boy, wrestlers, bad bunny, ray toro, and so much more.

we can talk about anything. we can trust each other with everything. (and we encourage each other to be As Delusional As Possible and it's AWESOME.)

i drew something to celebrate, bearing in mind that it is ALSO mania monday, hehehe. we got a second fob nod in there, with the seashell, too, because without that silly little band, we never would have crossed paths. guess i should thank them too, eh? (and no, i did not draw the entirety of the water, but it IS my own photograph, so i can do whatever i want and i prommy i'm not a thieving thiever.) i hope you like it.

i've never had an easier time becoming friends with someone, never mind growing to be this close this fast. i am so endlessly thankful to have been able to meet you. i can't wait for all the years to come, because now that we're here, you can't shake me. it's forever now. i love you a lot, tiana. thank you for sending that first tlksunday. the year that followed it was some of the most fun i've ever had. knowing you has made me better. 💜

i’m trying to think of what i can even say (warning: it’s about to get sappy), and i know i already told you but this made me very emotional the second i saw it. now it’s been a few hours and i reread it and really took it all in and it’s still just like man… idk. i’m really lucky to have you.

thank you for letting me in. i know that can be hard, and i sometimes feel like i just bulldozed my way into your life and built myself a home, but you didn’t stop me! now it’s like i can’t even remember what my life was without you and can’t picture a day without you in it, and i’m so excited about that. you can’t shake me either. genuinely, i don’t think there is a single thing that could push me away from you.

i love that we’ve shared so many little parts of our life with each other. we really can talk to each other about anything, and i think it can be really hard to find someone to do that with. we talk about our past and our present and our hope-to-be futures, we share interests, we invite each other into the best and worst parts of each others lives… and you’ve never once judged me. you’ve never made me feel like what i’m saying is “too much.” everything i say is met with such genuine love and compassion. really all i can hope is that i am able to do the same for you, because i love listening to you talk about your interests, about your day, about the things that make you happy, and even the not-so-fun parts of your life. i love every part of you that makes you who you are.

kell, you are one of the most gentle and beautiful souls i have ever crossed paths with. this alone, the fact that you made a point to mark and celebrate when we really started being friends, shows everything i love about you as a person. without a doubt you are the best friend i’ve ever had. i’m so glad i found you, i’m so glad that i pushed away all anxiety and awkwardness and sent you a silly little ask to inform you that i love you, and i’m so glad it let us to where we are now.

and like… a YEAR? it feels like i’ve known you forever and yet that still feels like it went by so fast. the past twelve months have definitely been filled with it’s share of challenges, but you’ve helped and continue to help me face them all while celebrating the good moments and milestones as well. i guess the universe really sent me you at the right time, and i hope i have and can continue to help you through anything that comes your way as well.

i need to wrap this up because it’s almost midnight (YELLING AT YOU AGAIN FOR SENDING ME THIS AS RAW STARTED!!!! making me all emotional while i was distracted smh), but just know you mean more to me than anything in the world. also, you hope i like it? I LOVE IT 🥹 this is genuinely so beautiful and i love seeing us together through your art until the day i’m able to be obnoxious with you in person.

happy one year bestie day, my dear!!! here’s to infinite more 🩷🩷🩷 and hey, have i mentioned i love you? :,)

[kuroimarzipan]

scattered thoughts about patch 6.1 including msq and alliance raid

i cant believe tataru made a hyur sized outfit and expected me to put it on. also i lowkey wish that tataru had made a single outfit piece that’s suited any of my characters bc i feel bad not putting it on after she gives it to me but. tataru please

i do like that she n the wol just hang out sometimes tho. thats all i want

every time i stand next to estinien i say to myself “happy manlet monday” even tho he’s like 6′7″ or sth ridiculous

this game is always finding ways to stop krile from seeing combat. let her go apeshit just once i know she can do conjury let her do the blood lily or whatever it is that whm do idk ive only got it at lv 64 on sandrine

graha rlly gonna nut the second i ask him if he wanna go for walkies?? cmon man

yshtola asleep in the pile of books was so cute like. yshtola fans ate well this patch fr

yshtola misses runar.... she misses her house husband.... ok u know what like. i know that runar is very unpopular for various reasons but i liked him and i think that they were cute together and i hope she gets to see him again and he can make her some soup

cant believe niuwyb gets to go on an adventure with three of her lovers.... and graha is there too. cockblocked once more

urianger is so cute

i forgot i modded thancred’s ugly facial hair from hw back on and got jumpscared

btw after niuwyb sees thancred here he spends the rest of the time with roeh because he’s been dogging his drinking buddy since hw and she’s gonna make him do body shots now. i think its time for the return of thotcred. i want him and roeh to thot it up in taverns together again like only the best of bros can

when estinien said he wished the first boss of the dungeon was a squid. hes just like me fr

my friend warned me not to wall-to-wall pull just after the second boss so i did it just to see if i could and i could. warrior power. the thrill i get making urianger heal me thru the worst of shit

i think itll be rlly interesting to go into void stuff. im glad we’re like. addressing lil bits and pieces that havent been fully explored yet. i hope we address gridania’s racism eventually

vrtra is such a fucking sweetheart. fr. also sorry about that one time we broke into your secret dragon hoard that one time. we were gonna do the same thing with it that you were gonna i prommy

i made a separate post about this but i think that yshtola and nidhana should hold hands. my headcanon relationship chart grows more tangled by the day drawing it up would be nigh impossible

forreal i loved yshtola’s goofy lil summoning spell. that was so cute i really love when they have her be competent and cool and also an embarrassingly goofy nerd at the same time. charm point

nidhana is soooo cute. i love her i want the best for her

estinien rlly be like whatever. bye. and then goes and tells everyone whats going on and gets them to come convince vrtra. worlds biggest softie that goes about things in the most awkward and clumsy of ways

also hes actually rlly good with kids lmao

i rlly hope we can save this dragon

as for the alliance raid uhhhh im gonna need to practice it

but nald’thal had the best design of this first set

im glad it was a fake out bc if they made the twelve evil for no reason i woulda rolled my eyes big time

rlly excited to see llymlaen cause that’s roeh’s guardian

azeyma was technically niuwyb’s but on account of not having any memories she wasnt exactly devout so.

anyway im gonna have to think about what my other characters were doing but im glad to be able to immediately place roeh for the first time in a while even if shes just goofing off with thancred. their friendship is important to meeee

ok i have to get up in five hrs for work send help

[ninakaina]

for once i WILL make a long analysis post no one asked for. p2 bad grief and his friendship with artemy below + p2 and classic changeling spoilers. let’s try to be serious about him for just a minute and forget about his giant pores and ugg boots i have no agenda i prommy

i know i’m not alone in thinking that bad grief’s relationship with his friends is one of the most interesting and telling aspects of his character in p2. for a liar, he’s extremely loyal. a lot of people have talked about how he comes through to protect rubin despite their differences, so it’s obvious how much he cares. lara also includes him in her confession, meaning she has reason to believe that he would try to give himself up to help her just as much as artemy and rubin, who it’s a lot easier to imagine doing something like that. he’s also a person constantly looking for acceptance, not by society, but by the people around him-- we learn this from his reflection, who also tells us how much artemy’s perception of him in particular matters to him. 

unlike stakh and lara, he isn’t angry with artemy at any point in the story, even if artemy kills piecework, and doesn’t lash out at him even in the cathedral. he doesn’t seem particularly angry with stakh or lara either; what bothers him most is that they haven’t accepted him (“gravel-hearted lara won’t even look at me”). i think an important difference is that he’s watched stakh and lara grow up and grow away from him. the core of what distinguishes his relationship with artemy from his relationship with stakh and lara is very simply the difference between reuniting with a friend you haven’t seen in years due to them moving away or going to a different school or whatever vs a friend you’ve spent years growing apart from-- there’s no inherently saying that you’re more compatible with the separated friend (although yeah, there’s a lot to be said about artemy being the glue that held their group together), but you see them still as the person they were when they left, and there’s an instinct to jump right back in to the relationship as it was. since that’s the last you remember of them, that past is current in your memory, as opposed to being clouded by everything that came after the sort of halcyon days of youth. grief seems a lot more sentimentally attached to the gang’s past than stakh and lara. in part i think this is because he’s a childish person, but i think it’s also tied to that desire for acceptance. 

when artemy shows up in grief’s nest, the first thing grief does is compare him to how he used to be-- specifically in a way that encourages denial. whether it’s an intentional choice or not, saying “you’re different now; you’ve gone soft” begs the answer “i haven’t gone soft”, with the implied “i’m not different”. similarly, through saying something along the lines of “could that be my old friend? no, you’ve changed,” grief ties artemy’s past identity to their friendship, such that engaging in their friendship is a return to youth. and there is a return to something; as much as artemy and grief trade half-insults, right from the beginning their conversations lack nearly all the tension and resentment in artemy’s early conversations with lara and stakh, and they have a good give-and-take in the way they talk to each other. there’s also a strong contrast here with artemy’s first conversation with lara, in which the first thing lara does is bring up how long he’s been gone, and stakh’s first words to him-- “why did you come? finally thought of some good excuses?” grief puts less emphasis on artemy’s absence than on hoping he’s come back, and less on how things have changed in the town than how things have changed with artemy. i’m talking a lot about it because it’s such a weird exchange, on the line between joking and heartfelt (”you’re no fun. aren’t you happy to see an old friend?” “oddly enough, i am”)

the other important thing that happens before-aglaya is their little railroad field trip. this is a weird moment. the plot itself doesn’t make a lot of logical sense as far as grief’s actions. artemy comes to grief asking to blow up the railroad tracks. grief doesn’t want to blow up the railroad tracks. grief agrees to blow up the railroad tracks, shows up to the railroad tracks, and tells artemy he’s not going to blow up the railroad tracks. and nothing really happens. the player can choose to just sit with him. if it’s a joke, it’s not very funny, and grief doesn’t seem like he’s in a joking mood. you’d kind of imagine he would just say no, or if he wants to send artemy on a wild goose chase he just wouldn’t show up. it’s not like there’s another dynamite supplier artemy would go to. for me, the explanation comes in what artemy says when he asks for the dynamite. the dialogue option that unlocks the event is “why not? let’s do it together. just like the good old days.”

aglaya is a force of maturation, a catalyst of coming-of-age. some of my friends were just talking about how in classic, she says she thinks the powers that be hated her because she wanted them to grow up. i don’t actually think this is a change with the force she represents in p2; she’s tied to a transformative stage of psychological development that deals with questioning authority and the established order of things. in p2 her power is most tangibly illustrated in her effect on bad grief. 

when artemy asks, just like the good old days (and one of the ways he can ask for the dynamite is through reminiscing about their old games and saying he’s feeling sentimental), everything about grief draws him to help. he wants to help his friend, he wants to protect himself, he wants things to be like they used to. but in the shadow of inquisition, he’s starting to mature, and to realize that things can’t stay the same. he’s starting to embrace the future, and i think he wants to face that future head-on with artemy, who has basically re-accepted him, which is why he makes the plans and shows up. he can’t resist going, but he knows better than to bring the dynamite.

their relationship gets more complicated as grief moves into the cathedral. in the conversation that begins with “we need to escape, cub. escape.”, he tries to outline his new philosophy. unlike immortell, grief isn’t concerned with mortality, but with humanity, and he’s become convinced that the only way to become human is to leave-- but he doesn’t leave, because artemy doesn’t leave. he doesn’t say he needs to escape, he says they need to escape. there are two explanations i can think of for this, and i think the truth might be a combination of the two. it’s possible that on some level, he recognizes, like aglaya, that artemy is the only character with some kind of agency. the only way grief would be able to leave the town is through artemy’s agency, although in practice artemy’s agency is limited to make that impossible (no option to agree). still, artemy has what grief calls an “inner freedom”, which he both envies and admires. it’s all pretty similar to aglaya’s fascination with artemy, except more familiar. grief has always known this of artemy, he’s just starting to put it into perspective. it also seems possible to me that grief just doesn’t want to leave without artemy. he exists best in the context of others, as he deals in the web of connections between people; he isn’t one to strike out on his own. the only time we see him alone is at the signal fire by the railroad, waiting for artemy.

artemy has, gives, or represents everything grief wants and doesn’t get: acceptance, a return to youth, and freedom. in the nocturnal ending, grief outlines (if you get lucky i guess) one other thing artemy has that he doesn’t: “a good, honest face”. in the diurnal ending, artemy still struggles to understand what the fuck grief is talking about, but their relationship leaves off on a hopeful note that one day he will. idk i don’t know how to end this there’s just literally so much to think about here