#i will never move on from them and this mashup???? as them???? unbelievably good

[highkey-lowkey-as-hell]

“the begin again x paris mashup was for travis” “she sang it because travis was there” “it was about travis” NO she sang it about KATEVA it was for TWO FICTIONAL LESBIANS FROM A TINY OFF BROADWAY MUSICAL NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT (sorry pma) THAT RAN IN A TINY THEATER FOR LIKE HALF A SECOND FIVE YEARS AGO

[shelovescontrol91]

In order to lure Camila Cabello to “Cinderella,” Kay Cannon borrowed a page from Prince Charming’s playbook. Sony told Cannon she could direct the film — she had already been writing the screenplay — provided she could convince the pop star that “Cinderella” should be her acting debut. So off Cannon went to Miami to meet with Cabello, having packed a glass slipper she’d bought on Etsy, even though her producers told her that would be “weird,” she says.

“I was there for, like, 30 seconds. And I’m like, ‘I hesitate to do this!’ And I pull out this glass slipper. ‘Does it fit?’”

However embarrassing, the gesture worked. In May, Amazon Studios bought “Cinderella” from Sony — with Cannon’s blessing — and it will premiere on the streamer on Sept. 3. While it’s disappointing that the movie musical won’t primarily play in theaters, the director, who has a daughter too young to get vaccinated, sees only the bright side.

“If the goal is for people to feel joy,” Cannon says, “I think we’re going to reach more people.”

At 47, Cannon is among the still-too-small group of women directors who have a Midas touch for mainstream, feminist comedies. After getting her start as a writer for “30 Rock,” Cannon wrote the three “Pitch Perfect” movies and directed “Blockers,” an emphatically R-rated comedy with a dirty mind and a loving heart.

In summer 2017, Cannon had just completed filming “Blockers” when her agent told her that James Corden wanted to speak with her about a “Cinderella” project. She jumped at the chance — but only because she wanted to meet the late-night talk-show host, not because she had any interest in fairy tales or princess culture. In fact, Cannon was certain that any new “Cinderella” would be a non-starter, since Disney’s 2015 live-action version, starring Lily James, had grossed more than $540 million worldwide so recently. “Nothing’s going to come out of this,” she remembers thinking.

But when Corden and his Fulwell 73 producing partner Leo Pearlman pitched her the idea of a “Cinderella” musical with contemporary songs, saying she could rewrite the fable however she liked, she immediately changed her mind. “I have no poker face,” Cannon says. “And I was like, ‘I want to do this!’”

Cannon’s “Cinderella” has a thoroughly modern message. Ella isn’t interested in marriage, wanting instead to travel the world and be a designer.  Cannon also toned down the canonical cattiness of Ella’s stepfamily, and upped the story’s comedy potential. All the while, characters such as the stepmother (Idina Menzel) and the prince (Nicholas Galitzine) are singing songs like “Material Girl” and “Somebody to Love” and “Pitch Perfect”-style mashups like “Whatta Man” with “Seven Nation Army.”

At every step, her guiding principle was “How can it be different?” “I wanted people to get their money’s worth,” Cannon says, “or why do it at all?”

In an interview with Variety, Cannon talks about how COVID-19 affected “Cinderella,” her experience as a woman director and how things have changed in comedy.

The Cinderella story has been told and retold, and had just been a live-action movie when you signed on to write this. How did you want your version to be different? And is it significant here that Camila Cabello is a woman of color?

Yes, I wanted to make sure it was incredibly inclusive. And her being Cuban Mexican is no small thing, and what she represents to millions of people — not only her fans, but to millions.

The story has mostly been told and retold almost exclusively by men: I feel it when I watch. The 2015 Kenneth Branagh “Cinderella” was hugely successful, and it was beautiful. And I love the Whitney Houston, Brandi “Cinderella.” It just feels a little told from their gaze. And I really felt like it was important to me to tell it through my gaze.

Can you talk about creating the Fab G, and what you wanted from that character?  

So many amazing actresses have played that role — so I’d written that role to be a man. And, quite honestly, the only one who fit all of everything I wanted was Billy Porter; I wrote it with him in mind. He’s just such a great singer. He’s just so talented. Because I wrote it specifically for Billy, the character kind of came easy. I just wrote it in his voice, and tried to make it funny. I had actually had another song in there, and then as soon as Billy was confirmed, we picked “Shining Star.”

Is the Fab G gender non-binary?

We talked about it. In having many conversations with Billy, I was like, “I think the answer needs to come from you.” He has said “they/them,” and “magic has no gender.” Non-binary for sure.

You started filming in England in February 2020. Tell me about shutting down because of COVID.

We had shot the ball the first week of March, which is something I do not believe I would have been able to do coming back — and it wasn’t a super-spreader. I’d shot all of the Fab G stuff, and all the basement stuff.

It felt like something out of “The Amazing Race” — like, pack up all your stuff! I’d been in the U.K. for like four months, and my family was there. My daughter was going to school there, and my husband was the writer on set. So we packed everything up, and then Camila and her family and my family, we flew back. My husband’s family is in Maine, and so we just stayed in Maine the entire time.

That sounds so nice, actually.

I did all of post in a boathouse in Maine. It was pretty awesome, actually.

During the break, what were you doing?

It was like getting a second prep, really. I was working with my editor, Stacey Schroeder, and we were putting together what we had. And then I was able to see what I needed and what I didn’t need. And I was doing a ton of rewriting, and I was doing a ton of prep that we didn’t necessarily have. Because I had all the opening, I had the finale, I had “Somebody to Love,” I had “Am I Wrong,” “Material Girl” — all these big numbers.  

Movie theaters have reopened, and this was obviously made with a theatrical audience in mind. How did the Amazon of it all happen?

Sony is a business, first and foremost. I know that Sony loves the movie, and that partnership was really great on that level. So I think it was hard for them to give it up, but I’m really quite happy that people can see this in this safety of their own homes with loved ones. And it is a wonderful theatrical experience, especially with the music and the sound and everything. And it will open theatrically in some theaters.

It not being a wide release in theaters means that we’re not healthy yet. And so that’s what’s the most upsetting — that we’re not healthy.

As you were moving from being a performer to being a screenwriter, did you always have directing in mind, or was that something that you discovered you wanted to do?

I was led to it. When I was at “30 Rock,” by like Season 5, I really wanted to direct an episode. And I was too chickenshit to ask. I was the writer/producer who was always on set — at that point, I’d spent my 10,000 hours on set for sure. And it wasn’t until I had a meeting with Nathan Kahane at Lionsgate, and he was like, “You should be directing your own stuff.” I have such a respect for academics, and I never went to film school, so I just didn’t think I could do it.  And then once he put that in my head, I was like, “Yeah, you know what? I can do it.'”

And is that how “Blockers” came about?  

Exactly. Yeah, they sent me the script with an offer to direct. And with no questions asked. I didn’t have to do any kind of auditioning.

That is very rare! Obviously, things have gotten better for women directors in the past few years, after years of the most appalling statistics. What obstacles do you feel like you’ve faced as a woman director?  

Especially with “Blockers,” I had a very good experience. I feel like the obstacles I have to face really are from the powers that be that still fight me at every level on what women want to watch, or think is funny. Or what is funny — forget gender.

My stuff happens to have female leads, and it’s female driven. So the jokes are coming out of women’s mouths. And I cannot tell you the amount of fighting I have about what they think is going to work, and what they think isn’t going to work. And there’s a lot of like, “I have all the expertise, you do not have the experience.”

And it’s just like, ‘I’ve been working in the comedy side for 15 years now — successfully.” And so what ends up happening is, I fight and fight and fight, and then I just do it and get it in. And then it gets put in front of an audience and the audience laughs. And then they have to say, “OK, that does work.” And you might not think that that’s that big of a deal. Maybe that’s creatively for everybody. Maybe it’s not gender specific. I tend to believe that it is gender specific.

Is that at the studio level?

From my experience, it’s mostly the studio level. And maybe I’m just sensitive to it or whatever. But I just feel like there’s a lot of conversations about what is funny out of a woman’s mouth. What’s allowed. And I feel like no matter how much success I had with “Pitch Perfect,” I think it’s still as much of a fight now as it was then. Which doesn’t make sense to me.

With “Cinderella” too?  

Oh, especially with “Cinderella.”

And now we’re back on the record after going off for a bit! I rewatched the “Black Tie” episode of “30 Rock” yesterday, which you wrote with Tina Fey, in which Paul Reubens plays an afflicted prince. That was the moment in Season 1 when I realized, OK, I love “30 Rock.”

[Affects Prince Gerhardt voice] “THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY.”

That was the first thing I ever wrote! You know, professionally.

An unbelievable calling card to have as your first screen credit.

Yes! I was asked recently who is my Fab G, and my answer is Tina Fey. I wrote stuff as a friend she was reading. And I never thought that she would consider me for her staff, and she just grabbed me and was like, “You’re gonna do this!” I thank her every day for giving me that opportunity.

There are so many conversations right now about what’s acceptable in comedy. As a screenwriter who’s done mostly comedy, how do you feel about that?

Right now I think we’re in the muck, and I think we’re striving for equality. And we’re trying to work things out! Of course we should look back at things that were done 15 years ago, and be like, “Oh, no!”

I don’t know if this is a story I should tell. But I can remember getting notes to put the f-slur into “Pitch Perfect” as them being bullied like by the cool athletic guys. And I was like: “No! I can’t do that.” I think I put it in for a draft, and a friend of mine read it, and she’s like, “You cannot have that in.” And I was like, “It’s a note I was given!” I was told to do that, you know?’ And then like realizing, no, it’s unacceptable. You cannot use that word. Even if you’re trying to show that it’s awful, don’t do it.

You have to have your moral compass, and know what’s right for you. And there’s just some things we just shouldn’t tolerate anymore. And they’re just not acceptable. I’m certain if I looked back at stuff that I would cringe, you know? Or just, that’s how people thought then. And I was one of those people. But certainly now if you know better, you do better, right? Is that too soapboxy?

This interview has been edited and condensed.

[dawnofdaybreak]

Title: Another Cliche’ Love Story

Pairing: Jongho

Rating: NC-17

Summary: In which Minho and Jonghyun are best friends but things get complicated.

[aff link] [ao3 link]

[part one] [part two]

Part Three (Finished)

Minho isn’t quite sure how to describe the feeling he experiences when he wakes with Jonghyun’s naked body pressing back comfortably against his. The feeling is reminiscent of the feeling he gets when he scores the winning goal for a soccer game or aces a test he didn’t study for. It’s so much more self-satisfying than that though, the content emotions running through him right now are so intense, Minho’s sure he’s never experienced this before.

 He watches Jonghyun’s flawless face as he sleeps, the way his chest moves up and down with tiny breaths. Minho brushes away a few silver strands of hair that were covering the other’s forehead. Jonghyun is so beautiful and Minho’s so unbelievably happy to be able to call Jonghyun his.

 The elder male begins to stir a little, causing Minho to pull his hand back, but he doesn’t move away from Jonghyun’s warmth.

 “Were you watching me sleep?” Jonghyun asks groggily.

 Minho tries to suppress his smile. “No.”

 “Liar.”

 “Okay, you caught me.”

 Jonghyun inches closer and presses a light kiss to Minho’s chest which is heaving a bit with laughter. “Minho-yah.” Jonghyun uses his index finger to trace small circles around Minho’s left nipple which is very distracting in the brunet’s opinion. “I’m hungry.”

 Minho bursts out laughing at what Jonghyun is suggesting he do for him. “Fine hyung, I’ll make us something to eat.”

 Jonghyun smiles in triumph as Minho gets out of bed, dressing himself in a pair of discarded boxers on the floor, completely unsure if they’re his or Jonghyun’s – not like it matters anyway.  

    It doesn’t take long for Minho to maneuver himself around Jonghyun’s kitchen and prepare sandwiches for them both. When he returns to the elder’s room with said sandwiches and a glass of orange juice, Jonghyun is nowhere to be found. Minho frowns until his ears pick up on the sound of water running. He smirks as he sets the food and beverage onto Jonghyun’s small bedside table.

   The pair find themselves quenching their passion yet again, as lukewarm water cascades all around them. Jonghyun’s legs are wrapped tightly around Minho’s waist as the latter’s skin burns from the feel of the elder’s lips moving across his body.  

 “Oh God Minho.”

 Their pace is slow, languid almost, but satisfying all the same.  Minho moans out his hyung’s name as he feels that familiar twisting in his gut. He grunts as he climaxes into Jonghyun’s heat, ungracefully locking lips with the shorter male.  Jonghyun comes right after, hand curled around his own member as the water begins to run cold.

    After the intensity and shock of their first night spent together passes over, words that Minho dreaded hearing left Jonghyun’s lips.

 “We need to talk about this Minho.”

 Minho sighs, burying his face into Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Babe please, let’s not do this now.” He hopes that this conversation will be dropped, not really wanting to think about Taemin and the consequences of his and Jonghyun’s actions last night.

 “Minho-“

 The sudden sound of Minho’s ringtone cuts Jonghyun off much to Minho’s silent relief.

 “Hello.”

 “MINHO!”  It’s Kibum and Minho cringes at the volume of the other’s voice. “You were supposed to be to the airport to pick me up 20 minutes ago. Where the hell are you!?” Minho drags his hand over his face in pure exasperation. Kibum’s return to Korea was remembered up until last night. Now, all he can think about is the little whine Jonghyun makes when he pushes into his-

 “Well?! Minho, where the hell are you please tell me you’re on your way.”

 “Give me 20 more minutes please, I’ll be there.” Minho ends the call before Kibum can reply.

 “Taemin huh?”

 Minho winces at the sadness lacing Jonghyun’s tone. “No. It was Kibum. I have to go.” Minho tries to press a kiss to Jonghyun’s lips but the elder shifts his head. Minho sighs, settling for Jonghyun’s cheek instead.

 “I’ll come by later, we can talk then okay?”

 Jonghyun doesn’t respond.

        “I’m sorry Key, I went out last night and got a little drunk and woke up super late this morning.” Minho apologizes the minute he’s in speaking distance of Kibum. The other simply glares at Minho, shoving his suitcase into Minho’s hands and storms off – much like a spoiled child – to Minho’s car.

 Minho sighs, knowing that Kibum’s not usually subject to having to wait on people.

    “Seriously Kibum, I’m really sorry.” Minho apologizes for the 6th time once they’re making their way through the heart of Seoul. “Are you seriously not going to talk to me or even acknowledge my apology? Come on Bummie please…I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”

 Kibum groans at the nickname. “Fine, Minho, I know you’re just gonna keep nagging me until I forgive you so fine! You’re forgiven.”

 Minho gives a small smile of triumph, reaching with his right hand to pat Kibum’s cheek. Key swats Minho’s hand away, still looking somewhat annoyed.

 “I’m just peeved because I had some things I had to get done today before Tae’s big dance recital tonight. Now I’m falling behind on my schedule.”

 Minho’s mouth immediately relaxes. He pales. Oh shit! He totally forgot about that. His eyes lose their focus as he chastises himself. How could he forget?! Taemin’s been talking about this for months for Christ’s sake! Thousands of scouts from professional agencies would be looking for future dancers and choreographers tonight. This would be an important moment in Taemin’s future career as a dancer and it completely slipped Minho’s mind.

 “You didn’t forget did you?” Kibum looks at him with narrowed eyes.

 Minho forces himself to chuckle, looking at Kibum as if he’d just asked him something stupid. “No, of course not.”

        The performing arts center of Taemin’s school is filled to the brim as Minho and Kibum settle into their seats. Kibum complains about how far they are from the stage, frowning when Minho doesn’t agree with him. The younger man is too absorbed with his cell phone to pay attention to his surroundings – checking for mixed calls or messages from Jonghyun. He’d texted the older man earlier to let him know he wasn’t sure he’d be able to come over tonight, but there’s still no response. Minho turns his phone on silent and sinks into his seat as the lights begin to dim.

 There are about nine performances before Taemin along with his best friend Jongin, take the stage as the final act. They would be dancing to a mashup of songs, a piece Taemin choreographed himself. Minho’s seen this performance hundreds of times during Taemin’s practice sessions. However he feels a sense of pride watching his boyfriend perform the piece he’s been working on for months in front of hundreds of people.

 “Wow, they’re really doing amazing. They haven’t missed a beat.”

 Minho nods in silent agreement, watching with proud eyes as the music transitions from dubstep to a lighter less gritty sound. Minho knows the end is nearing. Instead of ending abruptly like most of the other performers tonight, Taemin and Jongin were ending their performance on a graceful note.

 Minho smiles as he watches the two men spin on the tips of their toes and then collapse onto the stage as the chillstep song comes to an end.  He knows that move was difficult for Taemin, especially since he doesn’t have the extensive history in ballet that Jongin has.

 The crowd erupts into a standing ovation, cheers and hollers echoing all around the room. Minho and Kibum stand as well, with Kibum doing enough yelling to rival everyone else in the building.

    “He’s gotta get recruited by at least 10 companies after that performance,” Kibum comments as he and Minho wait for Taemin to emerge from the dressing rooms.

 “I’m sure he will be.” Minho takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and then grows worried as he sees one missed call and 7 text messages from Jonghyun.

Texts from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 2 hours ago:

Hey

 are you still coming over so we can talk?

 minho? it’s getting late and I still haven’t heard from u

 …are u ignoring me?

 im sorry, we don’t have to talk about taemin if u don’t want to

 please don’t be mad at me

 im sorry

 “Are you okay?” Kibum asks as he takes in Minho’s expression.

 “I’m fine,” Minho says a little too quickly to be true. He sighs and pockets his phone. “Really, I’m fine,” he rolls his eyes at Kibum’s disbelieving look.

Taemin joins them a minute later. He’s freshly showered and all smiles as Kibum reigns down the praises.

 “Oh my God Tae that was fantastic! I’ve known you for almost eight years and I didn’t even know you could move like that!”

 Minho gives a tight lipped smile when Taemin turns to him. “You knocked them dead babe,” he says as he places a kiss on Taemin’s cheek.

 Taemin giggles in response while Minho wraps an arm around his waist.

 “Thanks guys. We’re having a small get together at Jongin’s house. You guys are coming right.”

 “Um I-“

 “Of course we are,” Kibum cuts Minho off.

 “Excuse me.”

 The three men look to the older man who addresses them.

“Are you Mr. Lee Taemin?” The man looks at Taemin.

 Taemin nods and slips out of Minho’s grasp.

 “That performance you and your colleague gave tonight was amazing. If you don’t mind, can I speak to you in private?”

 “Sure.”

    “So, you wanna head straight to the party or you wanna go home and change first?”

 Minho glances sideways at Kibum. “I think you should head to the party with Tae. I’ve got something to do first.”

 Kibum narrows his eyes. “Does this have something to do with the text messages you were reading earlier.”

Minho sighs. “No. Something just came up that I need to take care of first.”

 Taemin comes practically skipping to the pair, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

 “Good news I presume…” Kibum murmurs.

 “You guys, that man is the head of recruitment for a choreographing company and he wants me and Jongin to come and work with them!”

 “Oh my God that’s amazing Tae,” Kibum squeezes the younger man tight. “Did you already accept?”

 “No, he said to just think about it for now. Jongin and I are gonna go to his company later on this week and talk about all the details.”

 Minho ruffles Taemin’s hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

 Taemin blushes hotly. “Jongin’s bringing his car around front so we can get going.”

 Minho frowns. “About that…there’s something I have to go and do first.”

 “Oh.”

 Guilt wells up in Minho as he sees Taemin’s smile replaced with sheer disappointment.

 “I’ll be there don’t worry, I just gotta go take care of this thing. Kibum will ride with you guys.” Minho gives Taemin a kiss on the cheek for good measure, and nods to Kibum who gives him a scathing look.

 He’s barely out of earshot when Kibum mumbles, “How dodgy.”

         “Hyung, open up, it’s freezing out here.”  Minho knocks on Jonghyun’s door for the fourth time. It’s just past ten, he didn’t expect Jonghyun to go to bed so early. He grabs his phone and opens up his chat log with Jonghyun just as the older man opens the door.

 Jonghyun is dressed in only boxers with his hair dripping wet, which Minho assumes is from a recent shower.

 “Minho?” Jonghyun pulls the younger man inside and wraps his arms tightly around him. “I thought you weren’t coming I-I thought you were mad at me. I’m sorry.”

 Minho chuckles at how panicked Jonghyun sounds. He pulls away to kiss the shorter man. “It’s okay baby, I wasn’t mad.”

 “Where were you tonight?”

 “T-Tae had a dance recital…”

 “Oh.” Jonghyun gives Minho that same disappointed look Taemin gave him earlier. But then Jonghyun kisses him with such passion that Minho forgets all about Taemin. His head feels light, like he might just float away. “Let’s not talk about him. Not now at least.”

 Minho smiles as Jonghyun leads him to the couch in his living room and begins an assault on his neck.

“I missed you.”

 “I m-missed you too baby, but I ahh…can’t stay.”

 Jonghyun pouts as he untucks Minho’s dress shirt from his pants and begins unbuttoning it.

 Minho groans as Jonghyun’s lips latch onto his chest. He feels Jonghyun’s finger toying with the button on his slacks and all his resolve disappears. He’s unable to tell Jonghyun to stop now.

 “I’ve wanted to do this from last night,” Jonghyun breathes as he pulls Minho’s cock out into the warm air of his heated apartment.

 Minho lets out the most unmanly whimper as Jonghyun takes him into his mouth, teasing at first, but growing more and more firm and enthusiastic as time draws on.

 “Fuck hyung,” Minho moans as Jonghyun pumps him with his hand before taking him into his mouth again. He’s got his head tilted back, teeth digging into his lower lip as his fingers dig into the cushions.

 Jonghyun lets him out of his mouth again with an obscene pop. “You can grab onto my hair, I know you want to.”

 Minho bites his lip and grabs onto Jonghyun’s silver locks. He tugs lightly, helping guide the movements of Jonghyun’s head up and down his cock. “B-Baby, you’re s-so good,” Minho moans as Jonghyun’s tongue works wonders up and down his shaft.

 Minho’s words spur Jonghyun to suck Minho harder until the younger man becomes a whimpering mess beneath him.

 “B-Babe I-I’m gonna – f-fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Minho moans out before coming suddenly.

 He half expected Jonghyun to gag and spit it out – but when Minho sees the bobbing of Jonghyun’s adam’s apple, he looks at him with blown pupils.

 Jonghyun pulls off of Minho’s cock with a smile. “Was it good?”

 All Minho can do is nod, unable to form words just yet.

 “Good.” Jonghyun pecks Minho’s lips and pulls his underwear and pants back up for him. He sits down next to Minho and laces their fingers together. “I guess I understand if you have to leave…but can you stay with me for a bit, at least until I fall asleep?”

 Minho can’t possibly say no – not to Jonghyun.

    Minho ends up staying longer than a bit and much longer than after Jonghyun falls asleep. How could he leave with Jonghyun snuggled onto his chest and looking so damn peaceful in his embrace? Minho sighs when he hears his phone vibrate on the nightstand for what he thinks is the 10th time that night – the light from it casting a dim glow in the room. He reaches over and turns it off, before he pecks Jonghyun’s forehead and closes his eyes. He’ll just deal with everything tomorrow.

        “Where were you last night?” Taemin asks as soon as Minho lets him into his apartment. “Key hyung and I called and texted you a bunch of times and you didn’t answer anything. We were worried Minho!”

 Minho sighs. “Something came up Tae…”

 “What do you mean something came up?! Something so important that you missed the after party of one of the most important nights in my life? It couldn’t wait?”

 Minho runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not about to fight with you Taemin. Something important came up that I had to deal with. I’m sorry that it took so long and I missed the party and I’m sorry I didn’t call and let you know I was okay. M-My phone was on low battery and then it died,” Minho lies.

 Taemin sighs. “I j-just really wanted you to be there Minho. I wanted to celebrate my achievements with you. And I hardly even talked to you last night. I saw you for two seconds and then you were gone.”

 Minho feels guilt rise up in him. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

 “O-Okay.” Taemin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Minho’s lips. Minho forces himself to kiss Taemin back – mind registering how wrong this is, considering that he just kissed Jonghyun goodbye this morning. When Taemin tries to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

 “What’s wrong?” Taemin looks at him confused.

 “Nothing baby,” Minho forces a smile. “I’m just tired.”

 “Oh.”

 Minho pretends he doesn’t hear the feeling of rejection in Taemin’s voice.

        On Thursday after his last final, Minho and a few of his soccer teammates decide to have a little scrimmage before they part ways for the break. Minho invites Jonghyun to come and watch, eager to show him how much he’s improved since the last time Jonghyun watched him play soccer.

 Jonghyun gives Minho a big wave when he arrives and Minho gives him an even bigger one back. He smiles at how cute Jonghyun looks in his oversized jacket, along with a beanie on his head.

 “Who’s that?” Jihan – one of Minho’s teammates – asks.

 “He’s a close friend of mine,” Minho says as he stares at Jonghyun with a smile.

 “He’s cute.”

 The smile disappears off of Minho’s face as he looks at Jihan. “He’s taken,” Minho says with more force than he’d intended.

 “Woah man, just saying he’s cute. Never said I wanted to date the guy.” Jihan pats him on the back. “You shouldn’t care anyway, aren’t you in a relationship with Taemin?”

 Minho groans and grits his teeth. “Let’s just start the game.”

    Minho’s team ends up beating the others 3-1 by the time it starts getting dark. He runs over to where Jonghyun’s sitting on the bleachers, clapping for him. “So Jonghyun hyung, what did you think?”

 Jonghyun smiles at him. “You were really good. You’re like a pro now,” Jonghyun says honestly. “But I must say it was hard to focus watching you run up and down the field in those shorts of yours. It was pretty sexy.”

 Minho blushes. “Oh really?”

 “Yeah.”

 Minho grins. “Let’s go back to your place.”  

    Minho takes a quick shower at Jonghyun’s apartment and borrows some of his clothes – they’re a little tight on him but he doesn’t mind that much.

 “Hey Min…which one do you like more?” Jonghyun holds up two shirts, a red plaid one, and a cream coloured one.

 Minho looks at both shirts and eyes Jonghyun. “The red one. Red is your colour hyung.”

 Jonghyun smiles softly. “Okay, red it is,” he says before taking the shirts back to his room.

 When he comes back and plops down next to Minho, Minho looks at him strangely. “Why are you asking for my opinion on clothes? You got a date?”

 Jonghyun giggles. “Maybe.”

 Minho frowns. “Don’t say things like that hyung, you’ll make me jealous.”

 The grin falls off of Jonghyun’s face. He scoots away from Minho. “It was a joke Minho, and you’re not exactly in the position to be possessive don’t you think?”

        Minho finds out on Saturday why Jonghyun had asked for his opinion on his clothes. It’s his 21st birthday and Kibum had somehow managed to plan an entire party without Minho knowing anything of it. It’s not a huge party but there are a nice number of Minho’s friends and family in attendance. The music is lively and whichever catering company Kibum hired did an amazing job. Jonghyun arrives about an hour into the party, dressed in the same plaid shirt he’d shown Minho the other night and a pair of ripped black jeans. Minho’s eyes don’t leave Jonghyun’s body the minute he spots him, even though Taemin’s body is pressed tightly against his as they dance in the middle of the living room of Kibum’s apartment.

 He watches as Jonghyun converses with Kibum and then Jinki before sitting idly in a corner and watching everything going on around him. Their eyes lock suddenly and Minho freezes. He starts gently prying Taemin’s body away from his.

 “I’m staying over at your place tonight…” Taemin whispers suggestively in Minho’s ear.

 “Y-Yeah sure,” Minho says absentmindedly before completely letting go of Taemin. ��I’m gonna go say hi to Jonghyun hyung okay.” He leaves before Taemin can respond and goes over to where Jonghyun’s sitting.

 Jonghyun looks up at him with a small smile. “Happy Birthday Min.”

 Minho smiles. “Thanks hyung.” He leans down to whisper in Jonghyun’s ear, “Come with me next door, to my apartment,” he says before leaving.

    “This is the first time I’ve been in your place since I got back,” Jonghyun says as Minho closes the door behind them.

 “Yeah…Do you like it?”

 “It’s cozy,” Jonghyun says.

 Minho smiles softly and sits next to Jonghyun on the couch. He brushes a few stray strands of hair away from Jonghyun’s forehead before leaning in for a kiss.

 Jonghyun gently pushes Minho back by his chest. “Are you really going to try and kiss me, after you’ve been dancing with your boyfriend all night?” Jonghyun asks with a sense of bitterness lacing his words.

 Minho sighs. “Jjong…you know…i-it…it’s complicated.”

 Jonghyun shakes his head. “It’s not right Minho. Y-You can’t date me and him. You need to break up with him…”

 Minho looks at Jonghyun with sullen eyes.

 “O-Or stop seeing me.”

 Minho’s eyes widen. “No. I’m not going to stop seeing you Jonghyun. I just got you. I-I’ve been in love with you for years…”

 “Then you know what you need to do.”

 Minho looks away from Jonghyun and bites his lower lip. “I feel like shit because of this hyung,” he whispers, to himself almost.  

 Jonghyun’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry Minho. It’s your birthday, you should be celebrating instead of talking about this.” Jonghyun reaches out to gently comb his fingers through Minho’s hair. “I got you something.”

 Minho looks back at Jonghyun. “You did?”

 He gives him a small smile and a nod. Jonghyun passes Minho a small gift bag he’d brought with him.

 Minho takes it and can’t help the small smile that grows on his face, knowing that Jonghyun had bought him something. He opens the bag and pulls out a picture frame, encasing a drawing of his much younger self. “W-What’s this?”

 “It’s a drawing I did of you back when we were teens. I think it was then I started realizing I had feelings for you,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I kept it with me all this time but I think you should have it.”

 Minho rubs his thumb over the drawing, in awe at the amount of detail put into it. “I-It’s beautiful hyung. Thank you.”

 “I have another gift for you too…”

 Minho turns to face him and before he can ask what it is, Jonghyun’s pink plump lips are pressed softly against his. Minho closes his eyes and melts into the kiss. He rests the drawing down at his side and cups Jonghyun’s face.

 Jonghyun pulls back briefly to whisper “I love you,” against Minho’s lips before kissing him deeply.

 Minho kisses Jonghyun back just as deeply. He presses Jonghyun’s body close to his before sliding a wet tongue into Jonghyun’s warm mouth. Minho receives a low moan in response to his actions and it just spurs him on. He starts kissing Jonghyun more forcefully, trying to pour all his passion and desire for him into the kiss.

 A sudden knock on the door forces them to separate.

 Minho pulls back from Jonghyun’s lips and looks at his apartment door with a sigh. He reluctantly gets up to answer it.

 “So this is where you snuck off to,” Kibum says when Minho cracks the doorway. “Are you seriously trying to ditch your own party?”

 Minho chuckles. “I just needed a breather Bummie. I’ll be back over in a few minutes.”

 “No no no breathing time is over, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s time to cut your cake.”

 Minho inwardly groans. “I’m coming over right now Kibum I promise. It can wait five more minutes.”

 “Minho. Get your ass back over to YOUR birthday party right now. And have you seen Jonghyun? Taemin said that you were gonna go and say ‘Hi’ to him before you disappeared to here.”

 “U-Uh,” Minho starts.

 Jonghyun stands and moves towards the door. “I-I’m here. I w-wanted Minho to show me his apartment,” he says, voice still sounding a bit shaky after the kiss. “I haven’t gotten any chances to visit yet.”

 Kibum’s eyes flicker from Minho to Jonghyun closely, before he smiles. “Well it’s nothing special, you can come back and check it out later” he says before pulling them both back along to his apartment. “Now come, cake time.”

    Minho doesn’t get the chance to take Jonghyun back to his apartment later, nor does he get the chance to sneak in a kiss or even a friendly dance. Once he’d gone back to the party and cut and shared out his birthday cake, Taemin latched onto him like a parasite. Minho couldn’t even go to the bathroom without the younger man waiting on him by the door. In the end when the party dwindled down, Minho settled for a quick hug with Jonghyun – but made sure to whisper in his ear that he’d see him in the upcoming week and they could continue their kiss. Jonghyun left with a slight blush on his face and after seeing that Minho made peace with the fact that he didn’t get to kiss him goodbye.

 “Minho, let’s go back to your place. Key hyung said not to worry about the mess,” Taemin says while clutching onto Minho’s arm.

 “You’re sleeping over tonight?”

 Taemin tilts his head and looks up at Minho. “I told you this…earlier.”

 “O-Oh,” Minho says. “Y-Yeah, you did. Sorry. Let’s go.”

    Minho feels awkward when he and Taemin get undressed together. Taemin takes his time, trying to be sexy. Birthday sex is obviously on his mind.

 Minho wants to tell him to stop, to put his clothes back on but he can’t bring himself to, not when Taemin looks so determined.

 It’s when Taemin gently pushes Minho onto the bed and starts straddling him that Minho realizes he can’t do this. He presses a hand to Taemin’s bare chest. “Stop…”

 Taemin looks at him confused. “What do you mean ‘stop’?”

 Minho looks away from him and sighs. “I mean stop. I don’t want to have sex. I don’t feel too up for it baby…”

 “You’ve never refused sex before?”

 Minho bites his lip. “I don’t feel well,” he lies.

 Taemin tilts his head. “I don’t understand.” He looks down at Minho’s crotch and then looks back up at him with watery eyes. “O-Oh…you’re not even hard…?”

 “It’s not you Tae,” Minho says. “It’s just I don’t feel well, I drank too much. You know alcohol makes me sleepy,” Minho lies again, knowing that he only had two cups tonight.

 “Yeah…okay, sorry,” Taemin says as he gets off of Minho’s lap. He gets under the covers and lays down with his back facing Minho.

 Minho sighs as he looks at Taemin’s back, feeling guilty.

 He turns away from him, mind overflowing with various thought before he falls asleep.

    The next morning is awkward as they eat breakfast together. Taemin does not make much eye contact with Minho.

 “…So…” Minho clears his throat. “D-Do you wanna do anything today…baby?” Minho asks.

 Taemin looks up at him and then shakes his head. “I can’t. I needa meet with Jongin to discuss some stuff about our choreography deal.”

 “Oh okay,” Minho says quietly. He sips at his orange juice.

 “I’m gonna get going,” Taemin says when he finishes eating. He puts his plate in the sink and grabs his things.

 “Okay,” Minho says. “I’ll see you later?” Minho looks up at Taemin, expecting the man to give him a kiss before he departs.

“Yeah, later,” Taemin says before leaving.

        “Oh fuck,” Jonghyun gasps as Minho strokes deep inside of him.

 Minho’s got him bent over his work desk as they’d been too impatient to move to Jonghyun’s bedroom when Minho came over.

 “A-Ah hyung…s-so tight,” Minho pants against Jonghyun’s neck. “I-I’m so close,” he groans.

 “M-Me too,” Jonghyun whimpers as he pumps his dick in tune with Minho’s thrusts.

 Minho cries out when he finally climaxes inside of Jonghyun, with the man following with his own cries not too long after.

    “Oh shit,” Jonghyun says as he gets a good look at Minho’s neck in the shower. “I marked you.”

 Minho touches the mark on his neck and then shrugs.

 Jonghyun bites his lip nervously. “I’m sorry, it’s really visible Min. I c-can cover it for you with makeup.”

 “Baby it’s fine, no need to cover it.”

 “But what about Ta-“

 “Shh, we’re not talking about him remember?” Minho gives Jonghyun a kiss on the cheek. “Now come on, let’s rinse off.”

    Minho’s never been particularly religious, finding thoughts of a higher deity rather silly. But that doesn’t stop him from celebrating Christmas with his family. The holiday itself has loss much of its true intent, rather becoming capitalism’s grand finale every year. Despite being very aware of this fact, Minho finds himself in front of his childhood home with gifts for his parents and brother tucked under his arm.

 He knocks on the front door while Taemin stands beside him.

 “Hello boys,” Minho’s mother answers the door with a smile. She pulls Minho in for a hug and smiles warmly at Taemin.

 “Taemin, it’s nice to see you again.” She’d met Taemin in Minho’s apartment early on in their relationship when she’d made an impromptu visit to surprise her son.

 “It’s nice to see you again too Mrs. Choi,” Taemin says politely.

 “Come on in boys, the Kims are already here.”

 Minho follows behind his mother visibly confused. “The Kims? They’re having Christmas dinner with us?”

 “Yes, it was a last-minute decision. Sodam just brought over their dishes.”

 Minho inwardly sighs. Jonghyun had mentioned spending Christmas with his mother and sister but Minho had no idea that their parents would decide to have dinner together. He was hoping to avoid being around both Jonghyun and Taemin again.

 “Taemin, you know Jonghyun don’t you? He’s Minho’s best friend,” Mrs. Choi says when they finally reach the dining room.  

 “We’ve met,” Taemin says. “Hey Jonghyun-hyung. Merry Christmas.”

 Jonghyun looks at Minho and Taemin standing near the doorway wearing their matching sweaters and then looks down at the table. “Merry Christmas,” he says quietly.

 Minho finds that he can look everywhere but Jonghyun’s eyes.

 “Are you boys ready to eat?” Mrs. Choi asks happily.

 They sit around the large dining table, Minho between his brother and Taemin. Jonghyun switched seats with his sister a few minutes after Minho and Taemin arrived. Minho would have to crane his neck if he wanted to catch a glimpse of him.

 Minho feels but isn’t sure if he looks visibly uncomfortable throughout the entire dinner. With his parents asking questions about his relationship with Taemin while simultaneously reminiscing over how he and Jonghyun were attached to the hip growing up, Minho doesn’t know which one is worse.  

 “So, how long have you two been dating?” Mrs. Kim asks Minho and Taemin halfway throughout the dinner.

 “O-Oh um around six months,” Minho says.

 Taemin gently kicks him under the table. “It’s been eight hyung.”

 Minho smiles sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. “Time flies. I forget sometimes.” The table takes pity on him as the elders laugh at his statement.

 “It’s too early to be forgetting dates little brother,” Minseok says. “Save that for when you’re married,” he says with a nudge to Minho’s elbow.

 Minho rolls his eyes, knowing his brother wanted to get a rise out of him.

 “What about you Jonghyun?” Minseok directs his question down the table.

 “What about me?” Jonghyun asks.

 “You’re the only single young adult at this table.” Sodam had brought her boyfriend along and Minseok’s girlfriend was also gracing the Chois with her presence. “Any girlfriend back in Japan?”

 Minho visibly stiffens.

 Jonghyun snorts. “No. I haven’t had any luck dating since I’ve been back yet either.”

 “Oh?” Minseok looks at Minho then back down at Jonghyun. “You’ve been looking?”

 “Yeah,” Jonghyun says.

 Minho’s face starts to feel hot. He knows he has no right to feel like this but Jonghyun’s words hurt.

 Minseok rests a hand on Minho’s knee and smiles knowingly. “The least you could do is play wingman for Jjongie.”

 Minho pushes his brother’s hand off and grits his teeth at him. “Stop it,” he whispers.

 “Who wants dessert?” Minho’s mom asks.

    Minho’s brother corners him outside the upstairs bathroom after everyone’s finished eating dinner.

 “So. I’ll give you a chance to come clean,” Minseok says.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Minho says and pushes past him.

 Minseok grabs onto his arm. “I know something is going on between you and Jonghyun,” Minseok says loudly.

 “Shh!” Minho demands and pushes his brother into his old bedroom. “What the hell are you talking about hyung,” Minho says and closes the door behind them, a nervous feeling rising from the pit of his gut. “There’s nothing going on.”

 “Oh, come off it Minho,” Minseok says. “I’ve known since you were kids that you had a crush on him. Now you show up here with your boyfriend and you can’t even look Jonghyun in the eye.”

 Minho shakes his head. “That’s not true. You know nothing.”

Minseok folds his arms. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

 Minho’s eyes widen. “W-What…N-No!”

 “Fuck, Minho!” Minseok says. “Does Taemin know? Wait of course he doesn’t know, he’s fucking oblivious to it all isn’t he?”

 Minho sighs heavily. “Y-You can’t say anything hyung. I’m going to tell him eventually.”

 “E-Eventually?” Minseok asks, eyes wide in disbelief. “Minho what the fuck? That’s not right. None of this is right. Y-You’re cheating.”

 “Lower your voice!” Minho shouts back at him. “I n-never meant for this to happen hyung,” he says in hushed tones. “J-Jonghyun came back home and all the feelings I thought were buried just rushed to the surface again. I don’t want to hurt him or Taemin. I promise I’m not a bad person,” Minho says as tears well in his eyes.

 His older brother sighs heavily and rests an arm on Minho’s shoulder. “D-Don’t cry. But just…you know this is wrong. And you know what you need to do to fix it.”

 Minseok pats Minho’s shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

    When Minho and Taemin are on their way back to Minho’s apartment, Taemin asks him a question.

“Is something going on between you and Jonghyun-hyung?”

 Minho’s hands grow rigid on the steering wheel. “W-What do you mean?” He asks nervously.

 “I heard your hyung ask you that.”

 “Oh? O-Oh…Um there’s nothing going on,” Minho rambles. “Hyung was just wondering why we weren’t talking much at dinner,” Minho lies.

 The car grows quiet. Minho slowly relaxes his grip on the steering wheel.

 “D-Did you hear anything else?” He asks softly.

 “Oh no. That’s all I heard,” Taemin quickly replies.

 “Okay.”

 “Jonghyun-hyung is straight right?” the younger man asks. “You said he was dating a girl when you guys were younger?”

 “…H-He’s,” Minho doesn’t really know. “I don’t t-think he has a preference. He’s mostly dated girls but he’s dated guys too…”

 Taemin hums and turns to look out of the window.

 “Why are you asking?”

 “Oh no reason. I was thinking of setting him up with one of my friends. Her name is Soojung and she’s really pretty.”

 “Oh,” Minho says. He’s seen pictures of Soojung before. She is indeed pretty. “Y-You think they’d b-be a good match?” Minho prays to that deity he barely believes in that Taemin doesn’t notice the quiver in his voice.

 Taemin shrugs. “I think they’d be a great match. They’d look really good together. But you do know him better, so I figured you’d have an idea.”

 Minho shakes his head, not liking the thought of that at all. “I don’t think she’s what hyung is looking for right now,” he says a bit firmer than necessary.

 Taemin stares at him for a few seconds and then looks back out the window. “Well, it was only a suggestion.”

    “What are you doing here?” Jonghyun asks as Minho stands on his doorstep two days later.

 Minho frowns at him. “Is something wrong? I tried to call you and you didn’t answer.”

 Jonghyun steps aside and lets him into the apartment. “Oh no, nothing’s wrong. Not thinking about the play by play I got of you and Taemin’s relationship the other day.” He shuts the door behind Minho louder than necessary.

 Minho sighs. “H-Hyung…you know…it’s-“

 “Complicated?” Jonghyun asks. “How long is it going to be complicated Minho?”

 “Hyung…”

 Jonghyun rubs his hand over his face in exasperation. “Why are you here Minho?”

 Minho bites his lip. “I…I got you a present.”

 “O-Oh,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I d-didn’t get you anything…”

 Minho hands him the small box with a smile. “That’s okay. We’ve never really celebrated Christmas. Besides your birthday present was enough.”

 “What is it?” The blonde asks curiously.

 “Open it and see.”

 Jonghyun unties the pink bow on the box and discards the wrapping. He opens it to find a small silver ring – not small enough to fit on his ring finger, but rather appearing to be the width of his thumb.

 “Is this a thumb ring?” Jonghun inquires.

 Minho raises his hand to show a matching one. “Yeah.”

 Jonghyun’s mouth falls open in surprise. “M-Minho, I…I can’t wear this. Not if you’re wearing one too. It’s too obvious.”

 Minho shakes his head. “No, these are really popular right now. People won’t notice it hyung. Besides, don’t you like it?”

 “O-Of course I do.” Jonghyun slides the ring onto his thumb. “P-Perfect fit…”

 “I thought it would be,” Minho says.

 Jonghyun looks up at him with a wobbly smile. “T-Thank you Minho.” He gets on his tippy toes and presses a kiss to Minho’s lips.

 Minho kisses him back deeply. “I love you,” he whispers against Jonghyun’s lips.

 “I love you too,” Jonghyun replies after a slight pause.

 Minho pulls Jonghyun into a tight hug. “I-I’m sorry hyung. Sorry that I haven’t addressed everything yet. I p-promise I will, soon.”

 Minho feels Jonghyun sigh against his neck. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Minho.”

 Minho pulls back, looking slightly offended. “I will keep this promise hyung. I l-lo-“

 Jonghyun shuts him up with a harsh kiss, teeth digging into Minho’s lip. Minho yelps in surprise but quickly recovers, kissing Jonghyun back just as passionately. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s tiny waist and lifts him up against the wall.  Minho begins kissing Jonghyun’s neck, working on the spots he knows the other likes. The shorter man cries out as Minho leaves light marks along his collarbone. Minho carries Jonghyun to his bedroom and deposits him onto the bed, pulling off the elder’s shirt as soon as his back touches the mattress.

 He pulls his own shirt over his head when a firm hand touches his chest.

 “Can we just cuddle tonight,” Jonghyun says quietly, unable to make eye contact.

 Minho pulls his shirt back on. “O-Of course baby. Of course. Do you want to be held?”

Jonghyun nods, pulling his own shirt back on and shifting onto his side.

 Minho spoons him from behind, watching as the man twists the ring around his thumb but says nothing.

       New Years Eve finds them at Jinki’s restaurant, sitting around a table filled with various dishes and lots of beer.

 Kibum’s a bit tipsy, his tolerance for beer being very low. Minho rolls his eyes as Kibum entertains the group with his forced acts of cuteness – committed all out of spite because he knows Minho hates it. Taemin records key with an amused smile on his face. He had plopped down, right next to Jonghyun when they’d arrived, forcing Minho to sit to the left of him.

 “This will be perfect blackmail material,” Taemin says with a wicked grin as he finishes recording.

 Those words seem to sober Kibum up. “You wouldn’t dare! I have a public image.”

 Taemin laughs at him. “Just be a good hyung and you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

   “Any goals for the new year?” Jinki asks at quarter to twelve.

 Kibum mumbles something about settling down, Taemin says he wants to work with foreign choreographers and Jonghyun plans to register more than ten songs.

 Minho remains silent as the conversation quickly shifts to something else. He has no idea what the new year has in store for him especially with such a dark secret looming above his head.

 “So Jonghyun-hyung,” Taemin says. “Are you still looking to date someone?”

 Minho snaps out of his self-reflection.

 “Oh um…kinda?” Jonghyun replies.

 “Kinda?” Kibum chimes in. “Have you gotten laid since you moved back home?”

 Jonghyun visibly squirms.

 “Bum!” Minho shouts. “Don’t you think that’s a little personal.”

 “What? We’re all friends here. We’re always talking about each other’s sex lives.”

 Minho frowns. Kibum’s the one that does most of the talking in those conversations.

 “Anyway,” Taemin practically shoves his phone in Jonghyun’s face. “This is my friend Soojung, she’s super nice and is into music too. I thought you two would be a good match.”

 “O-Oh really?” Jonghyun nervously glances at Minho.

 “Yeah. I could give her your number if you’d like. I think you’ll hit it off really well. She gives off a cold vibe at first but she’s really down to earth.”

 Jonghyun stammers, “O-Oh um…”

 Minho grits his teeth. “Tae…don’t you think you’re putting a bit of pressure on Jjong right now? He’s never even met her.”

 Taemin looks back at Minho. “Jonghyun can answer for himself. Besides most people text before meeting each other these days anyway.” Taemin turns back to Jonghyun. “What do you say?”

 Minho’s eyes burn at the back of Taemin’s head.

 “Um sure,” Jonghyun relents. “You can give her my number.”

 “Great. I think you’ll really hit it off, oh um,” Taemin looks down at Jonghyun’s hand. “Nice thumb ring.”

 Jonghyun touches it instinctively. “Oh yeah thanks.”

 “It looks just like the one Minho started wearing recently.”

 Kibum perks up. “Lemme see.” He grabs Jonghyun’s hand and examines the ring. He looks back to Minho’s to compare but Minho’s fingers are bare.

 “I’m not wearing my ring,” Minho says.

 “But I have a picture,” Taemin adds in. He hands his phone to Kibum.

 Kibum glances at the ring on Minho’s thumb in the photo and the one on Jonghyun’s actual thumb. “They look pretty identical to me.”

 “O-Oh,” Jonghyun chuckles nervously. “What a coincidence.”

 Taemin narrows his eyes. “Yeah…a coincidence. Where’d you get yours Jonghyun-hyung?”

 “Huh?” Jonghyun looks up at Minho as if he’s asking for help.

 “Where’d you buy the ring?” Taemin rewords his question.

 “Oh, I have no idea. My sister bought it for me. It was a gift,” he lies with a chuckle.

 “Hmm,” Taemin hums and looks back at his photo of Minho.

       Minho doesn’t share a new year’s kiss with Taemin or Jonghyun that night.

       Minho knows what he’s doing is selfish. Cheating is something he always frowned upon, hating when it was a plot point in a movie and shunning the topic whenever his friends brought it up. But now that he’s in this current predicament, he finds himself actually understanding why people do it.

 It’s not right.

 But is it wrong?

 He loves Jonghyun with his entire being. But at some point, in his and Taemin’s now eight-month long relationship, he was sure that he was love with him too. He doesn’t want to hurt the younger man’s feelings.

 He finds himself unable to do anything while Taemin and Jonghyun both begin pulling away from him. It’s as if there’s rope attached to both of his hands. But instead of being pulled in either direction he remains set in place while Jonghyun and Taemin pull farther and farther away.

       It all comes to a head in the new year.

 Kibum confronts him in his apartment early February – much like he’d done when Minho had forgotten his and Taemin’s six-month anniversary.  

 “I know what you’re doing Minho,” Kibum says, sounding very much like he knows something that Minho doesn’t.

 Minho looks visibly perturbed. “What are you talking about Kibum?”

 “I know you’ve been cheating on Taemin.”

 “W-What?” Minho says all too quickly. “That’s not true.”

“Oh? So you haven’t been sneaking around with Jonghyun behind Taemin’s back?”

 Minho opens his mouth and then closes it sharply. “…J-Jonghyun is my best friend Kibum. I can’t spend time with him now?”

 “Oh please,” Kibum says. “Taemin told me you haven’t touched him in weeks. He’s seen the marks you know.”

 “I don’t have any marks.”

 “Yeah cause now Jonghyun’s caught a clue and has stopped fooling around with you too.”

 Minho’s anger flares at the harsh truth behind that statement. “You need to leave,” Minho says, his tone matching the chill of the air outside.

 Kibum heads towards the door. “Just for the record, we’re not friends anymore. I’m not going to be friends with a cheater! You broke Taemin’s heart Minho and I’ll never forgive you for that!” He slams the door as he exits.

 Minho stares at the door for what feels like hours after Kibum leaves.

    Hours later he finds himself at Orgel, in desperate need to see Jonghyun. The older man had ignored his texts and calls and when Minho had pulled up to his apartment complex, Jonghyun’s car was nowhere to be seen. The club was the only place Minho figured he would be.

 But Jonghyun isn’t alone.

 Minho watches as the man walks off the stage after his set and heads to a small table in front where a pretty blond claps enthusiastically for him.

 Minho feels his heart crumble in his chest, the sight far too similar of an experience he’d repressed from his teenage years.

 Before he can stop himself, he’s already crossed over to the table with fire in his eyes.

 To say Jonghyun is startled to see him would be an understatement. The older man’s eyes practically bulge out of his sockets. “M-Minho, w-what are you doing here?”

 “W-Who is she?” Minho asks bluntly.

 Jonghyun looks at the girl apologetically, before grabbing Minho’s arm roughly and tugging him outside.

 “What are you doing here Minho?” He asks in hushed tones.

 A group of bystanders look at them suspiciously. Minho doesn’t care.

 “Who’s the girl hyung?! Why’s she looking at you like that?”

 Jonghyun looks away from him with guilt etched on his face.

 “H-Hyung. Who is she?”

 “She’s my date!” Jonghyun says. “And now she probably won’t go out with me again because you were so rude in there.”

 Minho’s so focused on the word date that it takes him a few extra seconds to process the remainder of what Jonghyun had said.

 “Hyung…w-what do you mean she’s your date?! G-Go out with you again? W-What about us?”

 Jonghyun sighs heavily. “M-Minho. There’s no us! There can’t be a us! I can’t just be your side piece, your mistress. And Taemin deserves better. You know that.”

 Minho feels his heart deflate in his chest. “S-So w-what? You’re giving up on me? Are you going to act like it’s all my fault! Like I was cheating on Taemin by myself?!” He says angrily.

 Jonghyun looks visibly hurt by his words. “I will not be complicit in that anymore. I-I’m done Minho. I don’t feel good about myself knowing I’m ruining someone else’s relationship.”

 “I-It’s not a relationship anymore. T-Taemin…h-he knows.”

 Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. “He knows?”

 “Y-Yeah. He knows…It’s not a thing anymore.”

 “So, you came clean to him? You told him everything?”

 Minho doesn’t answer.

 Jonghyun scoffs. “…I…I can’t do this anymore Minho. Even if you had ended things with Taemin, I would’ve still felt like shit about it. I c-can’t have that on my conscience more than it already is. I-I’m going back to Taeyeon. At the very least, I deserve someone that’ll be with just me.” He wipes away the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes before heading back into the club.

    Minho feels numb as his car drives him home. Cause surely, he isn’t driving, not when he feels like his heart’s been stepped on and his mind is playing a loop of Jonghyun’s retreating form. He makes the short trek from the parking lot to his apartment building and gets in the elevator. It takes severe willpower to not knock on Kibum’s door and go to him for comfort like he’s done so many times in the past. Instead he opens the door to his apartment and sees Taemin sitting on his couch.

 “Hey,” Taemin says.

 Minho wipes his hand over his face, trying to remove evidence of tear tracks and heartache.

 “W-What are you doing here Tae. How’d you get in?”

 Taemin shakes his head with a mirthless laugh. “You gave me a key, awhile ago.”

 Minho crosses over to the kitchen to pour himself a much-needed drink. “Oh…yeah right.” He takes a swig of the amber liquid, feeling uncomfortable as the silence grows thick between them.  

 “So-“ Taemin starts.

 “I-I’ve been cheating on you with Jonghyun,” Minho blurts in one breath.

 Taemin closes his mouth.

 He doesn’t know what he expects from Taemin. Shock? Sadness? Anger? Rather, Taemin looks as if he knows.

 “I know,” Taemin says after a few minutes. “I’ve known since Christmas.”

 Minho rests down his glass. “…Oh.”

 “I eavesdropped on you and your hyung’s conversation. So, yeah I knew.”

 “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 “I wanted to pretend like it wasn’t true. But then it became too apparent to ignore. The way you’d disappear for hours on end, refuse to have sex with me, the marks I didn’t give you, the matching thumb rings,” Taemin scoffs. “Your face would light up every time you saw Jonghyun. It was obvious from the beginning that something was going on between you two and I didn’t want to believe it.”

 Minho fidgets uncomfortably. “…Why tell me this now?”

 “Because Jonghyun told me everything. Said he felt like such a huge asshole for getting between you and me.”

 Minho swallows. No wonder Jonghyun knew he was lying when he said his relationship with Taemin was no more. “Are you upset with him? Please don’t be it’s not his fault.”

 Taemin laughs. “Fuck, I just admitted that I know you’ve been cheating on me and still your only concern is Jonghyun. Wow Minho. I didn’t have a chance, did I?”

 Minho frowns.

 “The moment Jonghyun moved back here. I-It was all over for us wasn’t it?”

 Minho can’t bring himself to answer that question. “I…I didn’t want to hurt you Taemin. I-“

 “Bullshit. Don’t you think getting cheated on would hurt me more than you just being fucking upfront with me from the beginning?” Taemin asks. “You’re a selfish asshole. You only cared about what you wanted. You didn’t give a shit about my feelings and you got Jonghyun in the middle of it too. And you did hurt me, no matter how much you claim you didn’t want to, you hurt me. You hurt me so fucking much.”

 “T-Tae I-I…”

 “And I don’t think anything you say can erase that hurt.”

 Minho swallows heavily, feeling like anything he says won’t have an effect. “I-I’m sorry,” he offers weakly.

 Taemin shakes his head before exiting the apartment with a duffel bag filled with presumably his things.

 Minho downs the rest of his alcohol and sinks to the floor.

       Minho finds himself sinking into something akin to depression. He still manages to go to his classes, to put on his usually happy act while around his teammates – but when he’s home alone in his apartment he feels himself growing empty, looking at old pictures of him and Jonghyun and deleting the ones of Taemin out of pure guilt. His attempts to contact Jonghyun are futile. The man doesn’t reply to his texts or answers his calls – arriving to the point where Minho’s convinced his number is blocked. Minho doesn’t know what he could possibly say if he ever approached him in person. Kibum avoids him as well, effectively ignoring him whenever they wind up in the elevator together and by foregoing their previous spots.

 He shows up to Jinki’s shop one day, attempting to find solace in one member of their squad not directly involved in the drama – but the man looks visibly pained talking to him.

 “Kibum told me what happened. He told me not to be friends with you anymore.”

 “So, you’re going to cut me off too?” Minho asks, sounding incredibly hurt.

 Jinki gives him a look of pity. “I’m sorry Minho. Kibum and Taemin are two of my closest friends and what you did really hurt them both. I c-can’t hang out with you.”

 Minho gets his food to go.

        “What did I tell you,” Minseok says over a glass of beer.

 Minho groans, not interested in being lectured by his older brother.

 “I said, you needed to come clean before shit hit the fan. But you didn’t listen and now look. Shit hit the fan.”

 Minho sighs heavily.

 “How long has it been?” his brother asks.

 “T-Three months,” Minho says under his breath.

 “And you’re still this fucked up over it? Shit.”

 Minho takes a sip of his drink. “It’s not that fucking easy to forget about hyung. J-Jonghyun, he…h-he was my everything,” Minho’s eyes grow misty.

 Minseok sighs. “Maybe you should try talking to someone else. Go out there, get laid. Forget about it for a while.”

 Minho shakes his head. “I don’t want to. I only want Jonghyun.” Minho stares down at his lock screen, a picture of him and Jonghyun sitting on the elder’s couch with their faces smushed together.

 Minseok peers over Minho’s shoulder and groans. “Well you’re not going to get over him if you stare at his picture every day. Change your fucking lock screen and delete those pictures. Besides, you know it’s really fucked up how you don’t mention Taemin when he was the one you were actually dating.”

 Minho pushes his phone back into his pocket, feeling the alcohol begin to catch up with him. “T-Tae hates me. S-Said I’m an asshole, w-which I am,” Minho slurs. “B-But Jjong and I…W-We were so r-real.”

 “Woah there,” Minseok says. He takes Minho’s glass away from him. “Enough drinking for you.”

    His brother drops him home, making sure he makes it safely into his apartment before leaving with the promise to check on him tomorrow.

 Minho stares up at the ceiling of his apartment for the longest. The spin of the ceiling fan keeps his drunk mind entertained for the longest. After a while, he grabs his phone and opens up Taemin’s contact information. He starts typing a text but finds himself squinting at the keys, unable to type properly. He settles for a voice note instead.

 “H-Hey Taemin. I-It’s me, Minho. I’m kinda d-drunk right now and yeah, I wanted to r-reach out to you for the l-longest but I didn’t k-know what to say. B-But maybe my t-thoughts will come to me e-easier right now. A-Are you doing well? I saw that y-you and Jongin went to L.A on your socials. I hope things are going great, I always believed in your potential.” Minho sighs. “I-I’m stalling cause I want to avoid talking about s-serious things. But I do really wish you all the best with your career. You’ve worked so hard. I’ve always liked that about you. N-No matter what you may think, I always genuinely cared about you Taemin. You were my first real relationship, y-you were literally my first and I’m glad that I was able to experience t-that with you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love you as fully as you deserved. J-Jonghyun held a piece of my heart from we were kids and I didn’t realize that until it was too late to act on it. I-It was never my plan to start seeing him when he came back home. I-It just sort of happened. I k-know that’s not an excuse. But it was never my intention to hurt you as much as I did. But I understand that I did hurt you, I hurt you a lot. A-And I’m sorry Tae. So s-sorry. It tears me up inside knowing that I hurt you that much. I hope one day you c-can find it in your heart to forgive me. It doesn’t have to be now or even a year from now…b-but just someday.”

 Minho sends the voice note and then hovers over Jonghyun’s number. He presses call but immediately ends it when the phone starts ringing. He sighs and chucks his phone elsewhere on the couch, not knowing what he could possibly say to Jonghyun at this point.

        A few months later, Minho finds himself finally taking his brother’s advice. His phone background has been changed to a photo of a palm tree and he’s sitting across from Jihan on their third date.

 “You know, I never thought you were interested.”

 He isn’t – well not entirely. Jihan’s a handsome guy and they get along well, but Minho would be lying if he said he was truly vested.

 He chuckles slightly. “Well. You’re handsome. You know that.”

 “It’s different knowing that you find me handsome though,” Jihan says with a smirk.

 Minho waves him off with a smile and finishes up his meal.

 After their date Jihan asks if Minho would like to come over to his place and he reluctantly agrees.

 Jihan’s apartment is a one-bedroom, very small and tidy – but Minho can’t help feeling uncomfortable as they sit on the loveseat with drinks in hand. After small talk about soccer and the conclusion of the semester, Jihan leans forward for a kiss. It’s not their first time kissing each other – Minho had given him a short peck on their second date – but it does feel strange. At this point, Minho is practically starved for human contact, but kissing Jihan doesn’t make him feel anything. When the other man presses a hand on Minho’s chest and attempts to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

 “F-Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, knocking over one of their bottles in his haste to get as far away from the man as possible. “I c-can’t do this. I thought I could, I thought I was ready, but, I…fuck!” Minho grabs his wallet and keys and scrambles up. “I have to go,” he says before fleeing from the other’s apartment.

 He gets in his car and drives straight to Jonghyun’s apartment, jolted by the realization that his love for the other has not ceased at all in the six months they’ve been apart.

 Minho knocks on the door loudly, asking out loud for Jonghyun to answer it.

 When he finally does answer the door, Minho meets pink hair where there had previously been silver.

 “M-Minho?” Jonghyun says in surprise.

 “P-Please don’t shut the door on me and hear m-me out please,” he begs. “I just went on a date,” Minho says. He inhales deeply. “I went on a d-date and I t-thought it’d been long enough. I thought I was ready. I mean we only spent two months together. Two g-glorious and unforgettable months and here I am six months later freaking out because someone t-tried to kiss me.”

 Jonghyun looks at him with eyes of concern mixed with pity.

 “B-But I can’t move on because I still love you. I love you so fucking much hyung. I-I’m sorry I didn’t do right by you. I wanted you s-so bad but I wasn’t even the boyfriend you deserved. I had you as my s-secret on the side and I’ll always regret that. I love you and I want to treat you like the boyfriend you deserve to be treated. I w-wanna scream your name from rooftops and let everyone know how much I adore you. B-But I ruined that chance and I-I’m sorry. You’ve probably moved on. I j-just, I h-hope you can forgive m-me. I hope you haven’t spent the last six months h-hating my guts.”

 Jonghyun stares up at Minho for the longest. “M-Minho-“

 “I-I’ll just go hyung,” Minho says softly. ��Thanks for hearing me out.”

 He scrambles away from Jonghyun’s apartment as quickly as he had arrived. He drives home, texts Jihan a lengthy apology and passes out on his couch.

        When Minho finally wakes up the next morning, he sees a text from Jonghyun.

 Text from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 9 hours ago:

Meet me at the café today, at 3.

        Minho isn’t sure what to expect as he taps his foot anxiously under the table. He’s sitting in the same seat he’d sat in last year when he and Jonghyun had made promises to catch up and give being best friends another go. It feels odd, knowing that it’s almost a year since that happened. They’ve spent more time apart than they have together since Jonghyun’s return.

 Jonghyun saunters in at just seven minutes past three and sits down across from Minho.

 “H-Hi,” Minho says quietly.

 “Hi,” Jonghyun says.

 “Why did you ask me he-“

 Jonghyun cuts Minho off by motioning a waiter over to their table. He orders a lemonade and a sandwich for himself. Minho orders a water, too nervous to consume anything else. The waiter writes down their orders, promising to be back shortly before leaving to tend to another table.

 “So,” Jonghyun begins. “Taemin told me he got a voice message from you.”

 Minho furrows his brows, utterly confused at the notion of Taemin keeping in contact with Jonghyun. “O-Oh. Um, yeah. That happened a few months back. I didn’t think he listened to it. He never responded.”

 “He messaged me instead,” Jonghyun says. “He doesn’t hold any resentment towards you anymore and he gave me his blessing to date you.”

 “Oh? Oh. Um…”

 “I had to think about it for a while,” Jonghyun continues. “Actually, it made me feel even worse. That he could be so forgiving. Neither of us deserve that. I-“ Jonghyun pauses while their waiter rests down their drinks. He gives her a small smile after she promises to be back with his food soon.

 “I dated too,” Jonghyun resumes. “Taeyeon and I went out a few times. We even fooled around once.”

 Minho swallows in attempts to stifle the burning jealousy coursing through him.

 “She was really pretty and such a sweet person. But my heart wasn’t in it either. I couldn’t give myself to her fully. I’ve spent the last few months writing sad songs about relationships that can’t seem to work out for whatever reason.” He sips at his lemonade. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I still feel like shit about what we did…but I still love you and despite all the time that’s passed it hasn’t gotten any easier not having you in my life.”

 Minho takes a deep breath, feeling like it’s the first one he’s taken since he sat down in this café.  

 “I love you too. I l-love you so much hyung.” He reaches for Jonghyun’s hand across the table.

 Jonghyun holds onto Minho’s hand tightly. “B-But I don’t think we can just go back to the way things were before.”

 Minho frowns at him, slowly pulling his hand away. “Oh?”

 Jonghyun snatches his hand back and laces their fingers together. “You could at least court me first.”

        Courting Jonghyun proves to be an easy task. With his years of knowledge of the shorter man’s preferences, it’s not difficult to plan dates that the other will like or perform gestures that are guaranteed to make the other swoon.

 With the older man’s advice, Minho manages to pick out an excellent gift for Kibum’s birthday. A pricey bracelet accompanied with a letter apologizing for all his wrongdoings.

    It takes a while, but Kibum eventually returns to his post as Minho’s best friend.

    “I mean I guess I should have known,” Kibum says over a glass of wine.

 He’s currently sporting a buzzcut with patches dyed a bunch of different colours. Minho thinks it looks ridiculous but Kibum swears it’s the height of style.

 “You were way too sad when Jonghyun-hyung wanted nothing to do with you and then way too excited when he came around. I had my suspicions all along.”

 Minho snorts. “Yeah well-“

 “And then the disappearing acts. So obvious. But you had to top it all off with the matching rings.”

 Minho sighs heavily, not wanting this reminder of his wrongful actions – but unable to blame Kibum nonetheless.

 “It’s a good thing Taemin has moved on, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now,” Kibum says as he takes another sip of his wine.

 Minho hasn’t spoken to Taemin, it seems as though there was a silent agreement that they would keep their distance. However according to his Instagram and updates from Kibum, he’s currently dating a girl named Seulgi.

 “I-I’m so sorry again Bum-“

 “Yeah yeah, I know,” Kibum cuts him off. “So back to Jonghyun. Things back to what they were?”

  Minho shakes his head. “We’re taking it a little slow. He doesn’t want to be called my boyfriend just yet. We haven’t been sleeping together either.”

 “Oh? And you’re fine with that.”

 Minho nods. “I’m just happy I get to be in his presence.”

        Jonghyun does eventually come around.

 Minho takes him on a trip to the Hallasan Mountain and Jonghyun agrees to be his boyfriend – properly this time – right before he dumps snow down Minho’s jacket.  

        The revelation of their relationship does not come as a surprise to either of their families. Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Choi look at each other knowingly when the two boys admit to their relationship, commenting that they’d had their suspicions all along but thought that they’d let them figure it out on their own without any pressure. Minho’s father doesn’t comment, but he does smile at the couple fondly a few times over the course of the shared dinner.

    “Even though he doesn’t deserve it after the shit he pulled,” Minseok teases. “I’m glad you decided to give Minho another chance Jonghyun. He really cares about you.”

 Jonghyun nods with a shy smile.

 “But, if he ever pulls any shady business again, I’d be happy to kick his ass for you.”

 Jonghyun laughs heartily at that. “I will definitely keep that in mind hyung.”

        It’s amazing when you find true love and all your needs satisfied by merely being in their presence. Minho never thought it was possible, but he and Jonghyun have made it official for a month now and he hasn’t felt the urge to ask the man for sex. He misses it, he wants it, but he’s also perfectly content simply curled up on his couch together with the shorter man.

 “Hey Minho,” Jonghyun looks up at Minho after noticing him drifting off into his own thoughts.

 Minho looks down at him, smiling as he sees the ring fit snugly around Jonghyun’s thumb. “Yeah baby?”

 Jonghyun presses a warm kiss to his mouth, before shifting on Minho’s lap so that he’s straddling Minho’s waist. He kisses Minho deeply, hands rubbing all over Minho’s warm skin.

 “I-Is this okay?” Jonghyun asks breathlessly. “D-Do you want to?”

 Minho nods, unable to find the words.

    They move into Minho’s bed. The lights are off, making it difficult to see each other. But Minho finds that he doesn’t need to see the other man to know what expression he’s making. He doesn’t need to see him to please him.

 They take things slow, thoroughly exploring each other’s bodies. Minho works his mouth over the entire expanse of Jonghyun’s skin, like it’s the first time he’s ever gotten a taste.

 “Shit, you’re killing m-me,” Jonghyun whimpers as Minho’s tongue works over his most intimate spot. Minho doesn’t have much experience doing this but from the sounds Jonghyun’s making, he’s certain it’ll make its way into their routine.

    Minho whimpers as he interlocks their fingers above Jonghyun’s head, rocking into him at a slow pace. It feels so good, being able to express his love in such a raw and passionate way. He peppers kisses all over Jonghyun’s face while he moves inside of him. “I l-love you,” he repeats over and over like a mantra.

 Jonghyun cums first with his legs tightening around Minho’s waist while his voice reaches pitches Minho’s only ever heard in song. Minho follows soon after, unable to contain himself after feeling the way Jonghyun tightened around him.

 Minho can’t see it, but he feels the love and adoration pouring into him from Jonghyun.

 “G-God I love you. I wanna spend the rest of my days with you. I wanna write sappy love songs that I’m too embarrassed to play for you and be in the bleachers for every one of your soccer games. And I fucking hate sports. I-“

 Minho lets out a breathless laugh before shutting Jonghyun up with a kiss. “I k-know hyung. I k-know. I-I’m sorry it took so long for us to be t-together like this.  Y-You know I feel the same. I’ve felt this f-for such a long time. I w-would have waited years for you if I had to.”

 Jonghyun kisses Minho deeply and Minho knows that now that he has him fully, he will never let him go.

        “So,” Minho starts.

 “So,” Jonghyun echoes.

 “T-This is awkward,” Minho says apologetically.

 “Only if you make it awkward hyung,” Taemin quips.

 They’re gathered in a small restaurant – Minho and Jonghyun sitting across from Taemin and his girlfriend Seulgi. Seulgi is even more beautiful in person and has an addicting laugh. Minho can see why Taemin is attracted to her. She and Jonghyun seem to get along well, sharing conversations about books and music throughout the dinner. Minho finds it hard to talk to her, considering he doesn’t know just how much of his and Taemin’s past the girl actually knows.

 Minho clears his throat. “I’m sorry. It’s hard for it not to be awkward?” His words come out sounding like a question rather than a statement.

 “There’s no hard feelings hyung. You and Jonghyun-hyung are back together and I’ve moved on. I just wanted to meet up with you guys so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable in the future.”

 “I’m really sorry again,” Jonghyun says. “Truly.”

 “I know,” Taemin replies. “I was never upset with you Jonghyun-hyung. You, on the other hand,” he looks at Minho.

 Minho looks away, embarrassed.

 “Well…we can let a dead thing stay dead.”

 Jonghyun rests a comforting hand on Minho’s knee. “So…Are you moving back to Seoul?” Jonghyun asks in attempts to change the conversation.

 “Oh no, we’re only visiting,” Taemin says. “There’s still a lot more of the world I wanna see.”

 Minho nods, knowing that Taemin had ambitions that could not be confined to South Korea.

 “I know you’ll do well,” Minho says quietly.

 Taemin gives him a small smile.

    After dinner they decide to go to a karaoke bar. Jongin shows up halfway through the night along with his girlfriend. Jinki joins them later followed by Kibum and his new boyfriend Donghyun.

 “Are you okay?” Jonghyun asks Minho when he sits down after belting out a TVXQ song. “You don’t look like you’re having a good time.”

 Minho’s the only one who hasn’t sang tonight.

 “I-It just feels…weird,” Minho confesses. “Being around everyone like this. It almost feels normal. But I still feel like an asshole for what I did. And everyone knows.”

 Jonghyun rubs his hand gently. “Why don’t you talk to him…alone.”

 Minho chews on his lip nervously. “You’d be okay with that? After everything?”

 “Of course. I trust you Minho. I know you’re not that person.”

    Spurred on by Jonghyun’s declaration of trust, Minho approaches Taemin and asks if he can talk to him alone.

    “You look happy,” Minho tells him as they stand out on the balcony of the establishment. “Is it real or is it just for show?”

 Taemin scoffs. “Over a year later and you expect me to still be crying over you?”

 “N-No that’s not what I meant, it’s just-“

 “Calm down. I’m just fucking with you,” Taemin says. “I am happy. Genuinely. I love Seulgi and entering a partnership with Jongin was the best decision I made career wise. I have lots to be happy about.”

 Love. Minho can’t recall ever saying that word to Taemin and really meaning it. “You love her?”

 Taemin nods. “Yeah, I do.”

 He says it with so much conviction. “That’s good. I’m really happy for you Tae.”

 Taemin hums. “I don’t have to ask if you’re happy. It’s so apparent with the way you look at Jonghyun. It’s almost disgusting.” He takes a sip of his beer.

 “Does that bother you?”

 “At first it did. I spent so many nights wondering why you would look at him like that, and not me. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. I can see now that the love we had for each other or at least thought we had doesn’t compare to the real thing. You know? I still care about you. I always will. But I’m not in love with you.”

 Minho nods, not at all hurt by those words – rather feeling a sense of peace that Taemin has been able to move on.

 “I’ll always care about you. I know I was drunk in the voice memo, but I meant everything I said. I know we probably won’t ever be friends again, but I just want you to be happy and to take good care of yourself.”

 Taemin gives him a small smile. “I will.”

 Minho pulls the younger man in for a hug. “Thank you Taemin.”

 Taemin hugs him back. “For what?”

 “For forgiving me. That means more to me than you know.”

 Taemin pulls back. “I know you’re not a bad guy Minho. I never thought you were. You let your heart get the best of you. It also sucks cause Jonghyun-hyung is so hard to hate. He’s really sexy too-“

 “Hey, are you trying to make the moves on my man?” Minho teases.

 Taemin laughs with him.

 “There you guys are,” Kibum says as he joins them on the balcony. “Come back to the room, we’ve only got 10 minutes left and Minho has yet to sing a song.”

 Minho shakes his head as he and Taemin are both pulled along by Kibum.

        He sings a song that he thinks both Jonghyun and Taemin will enjoy.

        “Hey Min…”

 “Hmm?”

 They’re lying in their shared bed, huddled under the covers for warmth, with Jonghyun’s unbelievably cold toes tickling Minho’s ankles. It’s late December, with Christmas right around the corner. They both want to make the most of their first Christmas living together in their own home.

 “What do you think about getting married?”

 Minho pitches up at that, rolling over on top of Jonghyun so he can look at the other clearly.

“What did you just say?”

 Jonghyun averts his eyes, suddenly feeling shy under Minho’s intense gaze.  “I-I’m asking you to marry me.”

 “N-no Jjong why…”

 Jonghyun visibly deflates. “You don’t want to get married?” His eyes well up a little bit.

 “No no Jonghyun, of course I do baby,” Minho chuckles at how easily emotional his boyfriend can get. He squishes Jonghyun’s cheeks together. “Idiot. Of course I do. But you ruined my surprise.” Minho sighs and rolls over to his original position.

 Jonghyun sniffles. “Surprise?”

“I was gonna propose to you next spring.  I had this big thing planned. I was gonna take you out to a nice hotel for the weekend, one with a view of the beach. And on our last night, I would lead you to the balcony of our room and you’d look down at the beach and there would be ‘Will you marry me Jjong’ in big letters in the sand.”

 “Are you serious?”

 “Of course I am hyung! I was gonna book the reservations this week.”

 Jonghyun chuckles and then presses a kiss to Minho’s pouting lips. “You’re so cheesy.”

 “Shut up, you would’ve cried if I did.”

 He kisses Minho again. “Maybe…But still, will you though? Will you marry me?”

Minho grumbles. “Of course I will,” he pulls Jonghyun against his chest. The shorter man sighs in contentment as he wraps his arms around Minho’s waist.

 “We should start planning the wedding. Maybe a beach wedding so your fantasy will be fulfilled.”

 Minho smiles, and laces his fingers with Jonghyun’s. “Yeah? And after we’re married what are we gonna do next? Adopt some kids?”

 “Ooh ooh, two boys and a girl. Or two girls and a boy. We can start a cute little family.”

 “The cutest little family.”  

 Jonghyun grins and kisses Minho’s chin. The latter’s cheeks hurt from smiling at the idea of marrying his best friend and starting a family with him. And it would be the best family ever. They’d love and nurture their children just as much as they love and care for each other. And their lives will forever be filled with constant happiness.

 Jonghyun yawns and snuggles more into Minho’s embrace.

 “I love you Frogho.”

 “I love you more Dinoboy.”

 The End.

[ratretro]

The Heart Beats Chapter 2

Title: The Heart Beats

Pairing: NaLu

Summary: Soulmate AU mashup - Red Strings. Forgotten Dreams. Colors of Gray. Marked Skin. Unfamiliar Names. Soulmates have different meanings for everyone, and Lucy struggles to find the courage to take her next step forward. Will she finally claim her future or will feelings go left unsaid?

Rating: M – sort of??? probably??????

None of these characters are owned by me, they are all owned by the wonderful Hiro Mashima!

A/N:

Old Bullets is on hiatus. Cause I wanna focus on this story tbh

lmao ill update  the info on it so everything is fancy official (I have to update my author page anyway lol) more info at the end!!  Also, let me send a little love to my girl @petri808 for being the beta for this chapter to make sure my prescription brain didn’t completely destroy it lmao

FF.net - AO3

He watched her carefully from his position near the blender. He didn’t have the best view but the top of her head was visible and he could see brief movements that made him think of what actions she may be taking. Was she laughing, shaking her head, or just listening to each word coming out of her friend’s mouth with intensity.

The pinkette bounced from one foot to the other, wondering what exactly was being said beyond his outrageously good hearing. Behind him, the blender chirped and the whirring of the blade faded as it finished the selected setting. It jolted him from his thoughts, sort of, and reminded him: ‘Hey! I have a job!’. The frappucino was poured into a plastic cup with the typical fluff of whipped cream on top. From there, it was a handoff to Juvia with high hopes she didn’t fumble and drop it on the woman in front of her. He’d originally replaced her on the register so she could go to break but now that she was back he could safely hide in the corner and make the drinks. He could also reply to her.

What did she think he was anyway? Some kind of criminal? He tugged roughly at his sleeves until the blue smudges came into view, ‘Shit!’ She’d give him hell about it later. His eyes flitted around for one of the dirtier rags. It would be gross on his skin, but it’s not like she’d have to feel it. Once he was done all he had to do was scrub his hands down and throw the rag in the designated dirty rags basket. Done. Easy Peazy.

Pen in hand he was ready to respond when a man walked up and stared at the menu. Natsu vaguely remembered that he was sitting at the table with the blonde from earlier, and for one reason or another, that bothered him. It bothered him a lot.

“Of course! Natsu, one strawberry-banana smoothie.” a girl’s drink, in Natsu’s opinion. Though, he could easily be ordering for one of the girls he was with.

“Got it.” He supposed that reply would have to wait.

“You seem… familiar?” the voice was deeper, meaning it must have belonged to the dark-haired male. Was that a pick-up line? If so, it felt like one lifted straight out of a book.

“Juvia thought so as well.” it was the tone that got Natsu. It was higher than normal, and she definitely sounded… excited. Not that he cared about that, he wasn’t interested in her anyway, but Juvia was always gushing about her dreams. Mostly, the man in her dreams. She’d never been interested in a guy until now. She was surprisingly dedicated to a man she’d never met in person.

He lost track of their conversation as the blender once again whirred to life and blocked out most of the general noise of the cafe. The blender had about 2 more minutes left which meant that, if he was quick about it, he could get a response in.

Rude.

I work normal jobs like a normal person.

He was sure she wouldn’t believe him but he didn’t have time for an argument during a work shift. Though, argument was a strong word here. It was more like bickering. They rarely fought, but if they did she’d start drawing on her face in permanent marker. Shit like hearts or the one time she wrote ‘NERD’ in red on his forehead. He just messed up her notes in retaliation.

Natsu wondered, ever so briefly, what kind of girl she was outside of notes. Was she like the blonde sitting 10 feet away from him or was she like the bubbly blue-haired girl next to her? He wanted to meet her. It’d be easy too. Literally, a dab of ink on his skin and he could ask. Yet, he was somehow scared.

He was the punk who got into fights frequently. Who knows how many bruises she had to hide because of him. Once again, his nervous ticks returned. His ball-point pen tapping on the metal counter that held the equipment. His foot tapping incessantly. Nervousness quickly became agitation followed with a groan of disappointment.

Surely, he’d made things difficult for her without thinking about it. Especially, before the point where he’d learned they were even connected. Not that he could help it. Besides, while he had told her he worked normal jobs that wasn’t exactly the case. The shop they were in now was a cover for a mission they were working.

It wasn’t a big job, but all the same, it had to be handled. They just needed some information on a cocaine dealer. That dealer was also working in human trafficking. Mostly women. Mostly sexual. It disgusted him and he’d needed a new mission so he offered himself as the ‘tank’ so to speak. If they were talking game terminology.

Besides, it was legal. They were hired by the police after all. That was how their company worked with most of their revenue coming from the cafe,  the bar, and finishing up with the occasional work sent their way by the police.

Personally, he was happy he’d taken this job. After all, it placed him in the same city (hopefully) as his soulmate. Or at least he thought it was. She’d mentioned ‘Magnolia University’ and they were in Magnolia right now. He’d been stationed in a smaller city and jumped at the opportunity to move to the main branch for Fairy Tail.

The chairs screeched as the blonde and her peppy friend stood to follow the dark-haired male as he left with his newly acquired smoothie in hand. They’d mentioned their friend seeing color so they were probably meeting her now. He wished her luck in trying to find whoever her soulmate was. Juvia was having a hard time so he imagined others had similar issues. That caused him a pang of guilt.

“Natsu.” Juvia’s voice cleared his mind and brought him back to focus.

“What’s up?” there was a lull as the cafe emptied; as though they were following the blonde and her group.

“Did you know that Jellal’s back?” no, he hadn’t. Not until now, except that was pretty typical of gramps too. Jellal had been living across the country with his father until now.

“Nah. But you know how gramps is. He doesn’t really explain himself.” he gave a shrug in tangent with his answer.

“Juvia thinks he might work with us on the trafficking case.” she was suddenly back to being soft-spoken even though she had been surprisingly animated with the male from earlier.

“Probably. Didja get that guy’s number?” from the look of surprise, and the immediate flush of her cheeks, he guessed she hadn’t.

In all honesty, they kinda needed the help anyway. Natsu had already been in two brawls since he started two weeks ago. The area was great at looking like a safe middle-class section. But he’d stopped one kidnapping and a mugging since he came here.

------------------------

Lucy hated Blue Pegasus. Hated was a strong word, or so her mom would say, but it was the truth and she wouldn’t lie to herself. She didn’t like coming here for a few reasons. One, her dad caught it on her bank statement and grounded her for a month. Two, the idea and sight of strippers always gave her unease. Three, Hibiki, Eve, and Ren. Her friends called her pure-hearted but they still insisted that she spend her 21st birthday here. So, she did.

Unfortunately.

Her dancers at that time had been Hibiki, Ren, and Eve which was fine until they discovered she was a light-weight. And a touchy one at that. At one point, they became the one receiving the show and she had to be dragged out of the club by Erza, and Levy. Now, every time she saw them she became unbelievably embarrassed.

Coincidentally, this was also where she met Gray. Not on THAT night, but it was a few days after when she’d mustered the courage to come back and apologize to the trio. He worked a different job now, but occasionally he still picked up a shift or two if he needed the extra cash.

“Don’t worry! They’re not here today!” the chipper voice of Blue Pegasus’ owner and bartender rang through the air.

“Master Bob!” surprise was laced in Levy’s voice as she came face to face with Pegasus’ one and only owner.

It wasn’t exactly rare to see the master. In fact, he probably spent most of his waking hours behind the bar even though all of his staff could make drinks and were certified to do so.

“What is my favorite worker doing here on his day off?” Master Bob’s voice was always high-pitched and sing-songy. While most thought it could be annoying, they actually enjoyed it. Master Bob was a happy man, and as such, he exuded that aura which made Blue Pegasus a comfortable location to visit.

Really the only thing preventing Lucy from liking the place was her own humiliation.

“Hello, Master.” a curt nod was given to his direction. He gave her a chuckle and a knowing wave before pointing to the door.

She knew it was Erza walking – strutting – in the door like she owned the place. She didn’t but she exuded the aura of dominance which made it hard to tell the difference.

“Erza--!” A man bumped into the blonde’s shoulder and while she’d normally fight for her ‘honor’ this man smelled like a beer refinery. She opted for silence. It also wasn’t hard to recognize the male as a regular here. Lucy had seen him more than enough times and was fairly certain he was in love with Jenny.

The blue-haired male stumbled a bit and then spread his arms as if trying to remain steady. He did, somehow, before continuing on. Really, nothing about him was attractive. In fact, she thought his appearance, and demeanor, both sucked. He even had a tattoo of an ‘X’ above his eyebrow. Speaking of eyebrows: hideous.

An obnoxious snort rolled from her lips and Levy clicked her tongue. Gray did nothing, as per usual, but his posture had changed to one a slight bit more aggressive.

“Lucy. It’s good to see you.” Erza’s voice wasn’t loud, per se, but it was commanding. Deep, but soft. If that made any sense. It wasn’t something that Lucy herself would put on paper. In fact, she’d probably skirt around the subject entirely.

“Is there a problem?” the redhead drew her back from the contemplation inside her mind: fight or flight? In the end, wasn’t it always flight that won?

“No, everything’s okay. Right guys?” the blonde prompted for answers.

“Yeah. Men with ugly eyebrows definitely didn’t walk off drunk.” Levy’s sass was newfound to Lucy. The blunette wasn’t normally this saucy but she’d been hanging out with some man she’d discovered in a bar a week or to ago. Lucy didn’t know who and Levy wasn’t providing the information so the pair was at an impasse. All she knew was he was ripped with piercings. He looked like the guy her dad warned her about on many an occasion.

“Definitely didn’t run into anyone, either.” Gray’s backup was quick; no hesitation.

Erza remained quizzical for the most part. She gave a casual glance to the man with ugly eyebrows. The redhead really wasn’t too focused on it, Levy had been oddly specific. She tensed as he threw an arm over a woman’s shoulder but, upon seeing it was consensual, she let it go. Truly, it wasn’t the group’s business.

“So, Erza. What’s up?” it was Levy who broke the red head’s thoughts and brought her back to the issue at hand. The blue-haired male disappeared in the crowd which aided in the loss of her attention.

“Yes, I’m actually quite excited.” her face lit up. Though, it wasn’t like a little kid on their birthday. More like, someone who got a small promotion and was celebrated with a beer. I

The group waited in hopes it would prompt her to continue.

“Colors. It seems faded at best but… I can see them.” No one spoke for a moment. Faded could mean one of two things. He was coming near to her, possibly even the same city, or he was passing through on his way out of the area. They all hoped for the former.

“This is a good thing right?” Levy prompted the question. ‘Did she want this?’

“I think so.” Truth be told she wasn’t sure. The thing about soulmates was that you had to meet them in some capacity. It wasn’t like you had to speak to them. It could be simply passing by, a bump on the shoulder, a one-time meeting on the playground as children. You never really know.

Did she want to know a man she could’ve met briefly as a child? Passed by in a coffee shop? She didn’t know.

A/N:

Hello my loves it’s me ya boi back at it again with a chapter I wrote on an impressive amount of prescription medication. Things had to be adjusted more then once and it caused quite a delay in the chapter. (plus that writers block) if you follow my tumblr i’ve been giving updates on the situation and now I should be back up and running unless a plethora of drugs are thrown my way again. Ive got the brain issues and stuff so thats a struggle. Everyone who has been waiting so patiently I appreciate ya fam. I’ve got a question for you guys and I want to see your theories:

What did you catch in this chapter? Did you guys see the little hints I dropped? ;)

I can’t wait to see you all next chapter!

[aranciafiamma]

I Can’t Decide

My Holiday Gift to @minusram for the @mp100ficrec gift exchange!

Prompt:  an unexpected character mashup [ship or gen!]: why these two, how did we get here? and why the heck does it work? if it even does, maybe it's nothing but trouble

Ship: TeruRitsu

It was...not love at first sight exactly, but - familiarity. Like: oh this motherfucker. This asshole. It had to be this dickbag. Game over.

Teru and Ritsu are two volatile chemicals swirling around in a fragile glass beaker. They walked into a room and you could already taste the fallout. And yet, they kept walking into the same room, over and over again. The room is Kageyama Shigeo and their invaluable ties to him. It's only predictable that they'd be forced to spend time together. But somehow, each new unfortunate instance came as a surprise.

“You know being a good person entails being good to everyone. Not just one person. Especially if you have a giant, painfully obvious crush on said person. That's not virtue! That's just favoritism!” “You say that as if you're any better than me!” “I'm not! But at least I'm self aware enough to accept this about myself. You! You're still in delu-lu-la-la land. Like a kid playing pretend.” “And what have you done with that acceptance? You do realize it's only the first step, right? I've accepted some uncomfortable truths of myself and I worked to change. You stalled at step one then proceeded to lie down and rot.” “What ‘change’?!”

Round and round they went. It was like the most screwed-up carousel rides where the ponies kept trying to buck them off. Or eat them. Every time they met, there seemed to be an underlying promise of debilitating disfigurement.

Here's the unexpected side effect. A superiority complex isn't usually catching. Unless you're Shigeo and painfully malleable. Ritsu is definitely not Shigeo - a fact that caused most of his troubles. In this specific case, Ritsu is not prone to accepting compliments at face value. He's been desensitized and usually feels more suffocated than supported. But insults! Backhanded flattery! Snide little comments - and Teru only thinks he's being sly but truthfully, he's about as subtle as a trainwreck. Ritsu hears every biting taunt and he hears a challenge. "You're not any better than me"  translates into "I'm not any worse than him". And Ritsu finds himself blinking in the dim light of a cafe, seated across from the grandbaby of narcissism, and feels leveled. It is not the sensation love stories sing about or poets write verses for. It is a simple, quiet, slow fall into comfort. Teru says something scathing and Ritsu doesn't need to hold back. He can just be catty and rude and supremely imperfect. Teru matches him edge for edge, sharp corner for sharp corner. That constant undercurrent of self-loathing doesn't vanish. No it's not so easy as that. But it's muffled under the blindingly obnoxious ray of Teru's vanity - the way shadows are driven under the bed when the windows open. It's novel, this feeling. Ritsu is confused.

"I refuse to be an appetizer for your obese ego." "Oh darling , that's already your default state."

Teru is confused. This sad, sorry slip of a boy insists on catching his attention. He can't speak, stand, sit without Ritsu confronting him on every turn. The focus isn't unusual. Why wouldn't he be focused on him? It's the default state of every interaction Teru ever has. It's simply rare that they demanded he pay them back equally. Kageyama-kun never demanded. He simply is and if you were smart, you paid him all of your attention. His natural state is a test to the discernment of the observer. A test that, Teru admits, he almost failed. But almost is the same as didn't. And the point is Teru won't be making the same mistake anymore. Ritsu is nowhere near the caliber of his brother. And yet he expects Teru's exclusive attention. It's pathetically ignorant or worse egregiously arrogant. What's bewildering - utterly baffling - is that somehow, Teru can't look away. He really should. Then maybe the boy would learn his place in the grand hierarchy and stop contesting him. There is no contest, first of all. Except it really is like watching the Titanic sink in slow motion. Tragedy draws in an audience for a reason. And when Teru looks at Ritsu, he believes to finally understand the allure. It's not pity. It's more of a curiosity. Teru finds himself watching, wondering what this strange, shame-filled boy will do next. He wants to stick around and see how deep this boy will sink. It's not the first time Teru has paid someone else attention. That honor had went to his brother. But it's the first time he's been... shook by his own reaction. Kageyama-kun simply is and nothing Teru does or says could possibly move him. He's the star of a distant galaxy. But Ritsu is more a lonely ant, lost in the grass. Teru could put a leaf on his path or blow him off course. He can invest in his journey. And Teru, unexpectedly, unbelievably, uncomprehendingly finds himself invested.

They meet and they meet, and they continue to meet. Each meet turns into a clash. The thinly veiled contempt gets the veil taken off like the most vicious, Kardashian bride on her wedding day. It is ugly and messy but, here’s the kicker, it’s fun. Somewhere along the way, with Ritsu dragging down and Teru clinging up, the contempt rounds out with repetition. It becomes more of habit than hate. They ease into each other the way waves grind stones smooth.

"You are the absolute worst." "Coming from you, that's a compliment." "How?!" "Well, usually you call yourself the absolute worst. And doesn't 'worst' just mean the 'best at being bad'? Face it. You're proud to be the best in being bad. And now.... Now you finally admitted I'm better than you at something."

“Oh fuck you.”

The moment of truth comes when a rogue ESPer walks into town. Walk is a bit misleading. She divebombs the city. A three blocks of downtown is ruined. People panic. There’s screaming and running. Cars crash into each other. And Teru leaps into action, ever vigilant, ever ready to take his place as protagonist (if Kageyama-kun isn’t around, of course).

(Kageyama-kun was attending Tome-chan’s birthday party. Best not to bother him.)

She was a two-bit, cocky newbie. Obviously, she just awoke her powers. She was most likely acting in shock and awe more than malicious intent. It would be an easy thing to just calm her down, talk her through it. Or so, he thought.

He calls out to her and the girl gives him this face - the kind seen when the monsters are finally revealed in horror movies. Before Teru could react, he gets shoved hard into a building. Her power presses down on every inch of his body. He cannot move. He cannot think.

"Sorry. You can't kill him yet. I still haven't ruined that pretty face of his."

Casually strutting in, like the main event and Teru was just the warm up act, Ritsu enters the scene. He flicks his hand and the girl gets flung or to describe more specifically, Ritsu yeets her into the mountains. Teru knows that move. He taught him that move. (Well ‘taught’ as in he’s used that move repeatedly on Ritsu whenever they ‘spar’.)

Ritsu watches the girl disappear into the distance. His back faces Teru. His silhouette is the cliché action movies strive for - all tall and standing straight. His hair flutters in the wind. Refusing to let him claim the moment, Teru smirks. "Hooo, little brother. You think I'm pretty?"

A pause. Ritsu turns around. He gives him the ugliest, most self-indulgent, smug grin. It's cartoonish how it just radiates satisfaction. Teru feels his smirk drop. "You are going to regret getting saved by me."

Oh fuck.

[twogentsinlove]

Here is my prompt fill for that fanfiction trope mashup game! @nit-rit requested Fantasy AU + Layton confesses to Luke. I was having trouble coming up with a traditional fantasy setting (like LOTR-type fantasy), so I chose to just have a few fantasy elements. This started out as more of a summary, but it turned into a ficlet. Enjoy!

Soon after he graduated from university, Luke started having strange dreams every night. They weren’t bad dreams, just different. Normally his dreams were like most other people’s: similar to his reality, but a little more nonsensical or chaotic. In these new dreams, he was sitting at his favorite café in southeast London, talking to a man, perhaps twenty years his senior. The man seemed to know at least a little about everything and was keenly intelligent, gentle-natured, and very easy to talk to, often giving Luke good advice that proved useful in real life. Throughout his shifts as an office intern, saving every penny to go to veterinary med school, Luke couldn’t wait to go home, go to sleep, and pick up the conversations from where they had left off the previous night.

The recurring dreams came out of nowhere for Hershel. The dreams were enjoyable – quite peaceful, in fact, and he woke up from them feeling refreshed – but they still confused him, nonetheless. He recognized the setting of the dreams as his favorite place to get tea after work at the university, but who was the young man? Hershel was certain he wasn’t a past student of his; he never forgot a face. The young man was astute, curious, had a quick sense of humor, and enjoyed puzzles just as much as Hershel did. In their dozen or so chats thus far, they talked about everything under the sun, but, for some reason, each other’s names had not come up in conversation. Even so, he felt so real.

Two strangers shared the same string of dreams over the course of several months. Neither knew it, but their conversation partners were real people, with whom they may as well have been talking on the phone every night.

With time, their conversations grew more personal, talking about their relationships (they were both single), their families, their pasts, their hopes for the future. Hershel had always been a very private person, but he felt completely safe opening up. Luke was honored that the man shared his inner heart and mind with him, and he returned that same trust. As bizarre as it seemed, they were quickly starting to think of each other as close friends.

One Friday, the office Luke worked at had a half-day, so after he got off of work, he decided to spend the rest of his day at the nearby history museum. Ever since he had moved to London, it had always intrigued him, but he had never had the chance to go inside. After paying the donation at the door, he started aimlessly wandering the ornate hallways, going back further in history with every step.

As an end-of-semester treat, Hershel always took his students from each of his classes to the local museum. Their group was nearly at the end of the tour; Hershel had heard the tour guide’s speech five times in the last week as he had accompanied each of his classes through it, and even he, a lover of all things history and archaeology related, was growing a bit bored. Just as they were leaving the Ancient Rome section, headed towards the lobby with the tour guide making his final remarks, something caught Hershel’s eye. Or someone, rather. A young man stood before a marble statue, a finger held thoughtfully at his lip as he examined it. Whenever Hershel saw a familiar young person out in public, his first assumption was that they were a past student. But I know I’ve never had him in a class… he thought, before it donned on him that he had thought that before, about the young man from his dreams! Hershel gasped at the realization. Just the thought of approaching the young man made his mouth go dry. Surely, he wouldn’t recognize Hershel? They had never met, not in real life. Hershel was about to rejoin his tour group, lead them to the museum lobby, and dismiss his class, but when he tried to walk towards them, he couldn’t. Something weighed down his feet: something wanted him to stay put.

Waving to a student who was looking in his direction, Hershel got his class’s attention from where he was standing a few yards away.

“Thank you for coming on the field trip this afternoon!” he said. “Just a reminder that your final exam is next Tuesday. You may be dismissed; the hall over to the left leads to the front lobby. Have a wonderful weekend!”

Hershel’s class headed down the hallway, a few of his students wishing him a good weekend, as well. With that taken care of, he hesitantly moved toward the young man. I can’t just walk up to him and ask him if he has, by chance, ever dreamed about me, he thought. I could just ask him what he thinks about the statue he’s studying. If I can just hear his voice, I’ll know for sure… Hershel approached the young man from the side, so as to not sneak up on him, as he appeared to be thinking. But before he could even open his mouth to ask the question about the statue, the young man turned his head to look at him, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Er, hi!” he said, with a lopsided grin that was so oddly familiar to Hershel. The young man looked around himself, as if to confirm where he was, before returning his confused stare to Hershel. “Look… this is going to sound crazy, but… you look exactly like someone I know… kind of.”

That was not what Hershel was expecting.

“That doesn’t sound crazy at all,” Hershel said with a smile. “In fact, I came over here to tell you the same thing.”

The young man laughed, a bit sheepishly. “Oh! Well, I’m glad I’m not crazy, then!”

“Although, after what I’m about to say, you may think I’m crazy.”

“Shoot!”

Here goes nothing, Hershel thought.

“I think I have dreamed about you.”

Jaw dropping, the young man laughed in surprise. “No way! I’ve been dreaming about you, too! For, like, a few months now! We’re sitting at a café – Half Moon Café – and talking. What do you dream about?”

“The same thing,” Hershel said with a nod.

“You mean, we’ve actually been talking to each other this whole time?!” the young man nearly exclaimed.

“So it would appear!”

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, unsure of how to proceed. He had never found himself in a situation like this; as strange as it was, he wanted it to continue.

Coming back to reality, Hershel remembered where they were: in the middle of the Ancient Rome section of the history museum. They were probably bothering the other patrons with their confused, yet excited talking.

“Er, this isn’t the best place for a conversation like this,” Hershel said, gesturing around. “Would… you like to go to the café and talk – in real life, this time?”

The young man’s eyes positively lit up. “Absolutely.”

~~~

The two men – who had since learned each other’s names – sat down at their usual table at the café with their usual drinks: Luke with a cappuccino and Hershel with an Earl grey latte. They had been talking nearly non-stop about their unusual circumstances, not abstract deep thoughts, like they often did in their dreams. Even so, it was just like they were picking up where they had left off in their last dream-conversation, since they were so familiar with each other.

“So you come here every day after work at the university?” Luke asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “I come here every morning before I go to work at the office!”

“We always miss each other!” Hershel shook his head, not quite able to believe it. He stared into the foamed milk on top of his teacup. There was so much he wanted to say in that moment, but as much as he felt like he knew Luke, they were still practically strangers. And yet…

“I know that look, Hershel,” Luke said with an eager smile. “What’re you thinking?”

He smiled, caught in the act.

“It’s just… you know that I am a very logical person. I need to see evidence and know the reasoning behind everything. This situation… it’s just so fantastic; unbelievable, even. I… I don’t know how to wrap my mind around it, or what to call it. Fate? Destiny? What caused this?”

As often happened in their dreams, Luke was on Hershel’s same wavelength, and completed his thought.

“Something brought us together, like it wanted us to meet. It… almost seems like we’re soulmates,” he said, before quickly adding, “or something.” A small blush colored his face.

Hershel had never believed in the notion of “soulmates,” but when Luke said the word, it just felt right. What else could explain it, but that they were simply meant to be?

“Luke, I still don’t understand all of this, but at this moment, I don’t need to…” he said slowly. The pattern on his teacup was suddenly very fascinating; after a moment, though, he forced himself to meet Luke’s eyes. “But, at the expense of sounding cheesy, I… I must say, I think you’re the man of my dreams.”

Luke burst into a laugh at the pun, before realizing the weight of Hershel’s words. He set his coffee cup down on the table in shock.

Hershel spoke quickly, to clarify: “I know we haven’t known each other long – whether in our dreams or in real life. But getting to know you these last few months, even before I knew that you were a real person, has been one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. You’ve become a true friend, someone with whom I can talk about anything.” He adjusted his top hat, as if to fortify himself for what he was about to say. “Luke… I think I love you.”

Silence hung between them. Hershel’s heart pounded loudly in his ears, as he panickily thought, it was too early to say that! You’ve only just met in real life!

Luke was still speechless, but his next actions didn’t need words. Gently slipping Hershel’s teacup from his hands and setting it aside, he took Hershel’s hands in his, leaned across the table, and kissed him. Hershel was stunned, to say the least, but collected himself quickly enough to kiss back.

~~~

That night, as they slept curled up in Luke’s bed together, they both had normal, nonsensical dreams for the first time in months. Neither of them was too disappointed, though.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a fic rec of fluffy bottom Louis fics. Happy reading!

Update as of January 2019: This rec list has been updated! New fics that have been added are marked with a 🍑 emoji.

1) Pinkies Never Lie: A Christmas Drabble | Explicit | 4009 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Between the baked goods required for holiday parties and the endless stream of Christmas card photoshoots, December is always a challenging month for Harry at work. That's why this year, Louis came up with a brilliant plan to take his mind off things.

2) In That Bright White Noise | Explicit | 5060 words

Blind dates are usually destined to go terribly, so Louis doesn't exactly trust his friends when they say they've set him up with Gemma's younger brother, Harry, at an evening bonfire they're attending. Luckily, Harry's much hotter and kinder than Louis thought he'd be, which is a relief. He's also really fucking good at sex, which is just a wonderful bonus.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

4) Snow Sweet | Mature | 7111 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Christmas On Stylish Apples Orchard, A Slice/Bite of Life.

5) Casting Lines | Explicit | 7554 words

Amidst the noise - the dog whining, Jamie's shrieking, Evie's giggles and bird noises, and Daniel asking loudly, again, about ice-skating - Louis leans in to press a kiss to Harry's smiling mouth. "Hi."

Harry doesn't loosen his grip on Evie's ankles where they hang over his shoulders, but he kisses Louis back and murmurs a quiet, "Hey, love."

6) Raised on Rhythm and Blues | Explicit | 8034 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“That look on your face makes me think you’re not cooking me spaghetti fast enough,” Louis announces as he walks back into the kitchen. Harry knows exactly where Zoe gets her habits from.

“Cooking for my two beautiful and insanely intelligent children, not for the weird bloke that sleeps in my bed and eats all my food,” Harry answers, tilting his head and wondering if he should add more sauce.

7) Cease the Day | Explicit | 8195 words

In which 1D Day takes on a whole new meaning.

Instead of a seven hour livestream, the One Direction team deem it more profitable to offer an entire day spent with any one member of the band for the highest bidder. What happens when the same buyer wins both Louis and Harry for a day?

8) Tattooed Heart | Explicit | 10035 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“Is that fucking real?”

Harry grins. “Feel for yourself.”

A curious hand comes to trace over Harry’s chest, sighing in awe. “Harry.”

He watches him as he does it and wishes he had a camera on him, because the sight of Louis’ dainty hand caressing the beautiful L written in intricate cursive right over Harry’s heart has to be the single greatest thing he’s ever seen.

“Like it?” he asks.

“Harry,” Louis repeats, suddenly digging his thumb into the skin as if it was going to disappear at any second—it wasn’t, something Harry’s tattoo artist made sure of. “That’s—that’s permanent.”

“You’re permanent,” Harry replies, simple as can be.

9) Gay Happy Meetings (When Friends Come To Call) | Mature | 13951 words | 🍑

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

The one where Louis' birthday and Christmas are filled with one too many surprises.

10) Symptoms Of The Culture | Explicit | 14612 words | 🍑

Harry's fraternity has become obsessed with the newest online game, and they'd like to think they're getting pretty good at it. Only, they keep getting killed by The Rogue, an online player who has no connection to the Frat, but seems to have a vendetta against them.

11) Don’t Put Out The Glow | Not Rated | 15007 words | 🍑

The one where Louis picks up the wrong bag on his way to Paris.

12) Dreams Can’t Take The Place Of Loving You | Explicit | 15496 words | 🍑

Harry’s watching Louis as he stands on a ladder, paint covering his arms and dripping down his legs a bit, when it occurs to him just how bare Louis’ fingers look. He knows exactly what should go there, too, but the thought of doing so sets his nerves spinning.

13) I Put A Spell On You | Explicit | 17525 words | 🍑

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

A BBC/Secret Santa mashup featuring Captain Niall, our intrepid weatherman/amateur matchmaker, rather clueless sports reporter Liam, charming political analyst Zayn, and cheeky entertainment reporter Louis. Harry is the new fashion correspondent who prefers to dress like a flamingo. And pining. There’s a lot of pining.

14) In a World Like This | Explicit | 19980 words

Just when Louis' given up on love, Niall makes him download Tinder. He's skeptical but he goes along with it. Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he swipes right for Cute Boy in his class.

Or when Cute Boys swipes right too.

And it's an instant match.

15) Then We Talk Slow | Explicit | 20493 words

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words | 🍑

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

18) Middle Ground | Explicit | 23561 words | 🍑

Harry moves to a new town for work where he meets the enigma that is Louis Tomlinson.

19) Let Me Make A Thing Of Cream and Stars | Explicit | 24914 words

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also  the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

20) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words | 🍑

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.

21) Whether Clouds or Clear Skies | Explicit | 25861 words

Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather.

22) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28862 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

23) Can’t Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

24) The List | Mature | 32094 words

In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.

25) I Know How To Whisk (But Teach Me Anyway) | Mature | 32111 words | 🍑

The one in which banana bread just might make Louis change his mind about soulmates.

26) All The Right Moves | Explicit | 32264 words

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

27) A Rhythm In Rush | Explicit | 40010 words

Harry is a WWF journalist with big dreams and Louis is a glaciologist that flies helicopters for fun. Greenland is an odd place to spend Christmas, but just maybe, the perfect place to fall headfirst into love.

28) Roots | Explicit | 43233 words

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

29) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

30) I Found A Love For Me (Darling Just Dive Right In) | Explicit | 46652 words | Sequel | 🍑

Louis, an omega with very little control. Harry, an alpha with a lot of emotion. Neither of them have any idea what do to with this little thing called love, but they'll be damned if they don't put up a good fight.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[angelricecake]

Who do you think is underrated in kpop?

I think I’ve answered a question similar to this before, but I never miss an opportunity to scream about talented people that I love. Here’s a list of talented kpop groups/artists that I think deserve a lot more love and attention. 

EVERY SINGLE GIRL GROUP EVER! Name any girl group and I guarantee that they’re under-appreciated. Companies do such a bad job at promoting them. Blackpink gets ignored by their own company. YG is the worst. BP only has like 6 songs and this dude wants to debut a new girl group in 2018. GIVE BLACKPINK AN ALBUM FIRST! People don’t give girl groups a chance because of pointless excuses that are usually a dig at their concepts.They’re either labeled too cute or too sexy by the same idiots people who swoon when boy groups take off their shirt and dance sexy moves. PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR VOCALS AND THE FACT THAT THEY CAN CHANGE CONCEPTS AND SLAY EVERY COMEBACK! EX: JUST THIS YEAR RED VELVET DID AN UPBEAT AND PLAYFUL CONCEPT FOR RED FLAVOR AND THEN CAME BACK WITH A DARKER MORE SOLEMN THEME WITH PEEK A BOO. 

BTOB - They are VOCAL KINGS! I’m extremely biased in saying this because I love them so much. They own my heart after BTS. Their music has helped me get through some difficult times. Watch their Missing You performance at SBS Gayo Daejun. They got the shortest performance time and the camerawork was awful but they still gave a beautiful, heartfelt performance.

DAY6 - They’re PURE TALENT. They released 2 new songs every month for the whole of 2017. I don’t understand how people can sleep on them. Every single song that they’ve ever released has been amazing. From the first note you can tell that their songs are going to be amazing. My personal favourites are I Like You, I Need Somebody and Hi Hello. 

FT Island - This year they celebrated 10 years. They’re a group I discovered in my early days of listening to kpop and I fell in love. Their music has helped me through some touch times as well. They’re not cookie cutter kpop. They’re definitely more rock than pop. Korea sleeps on them but they’re big in Japan. They write and produce their own songs. I will boldly state that Hongki is one of the best vocalists in existence. His voice can go from calm and soothing to powerful. His vocal range is amazing. You can feel the emotions in his voice. Their concerts look epic. My Personal favourite songs are Wind, Madly, Still With You, I Hope and Find a Light. I also love One Word (On Air OST).

CNBLUE -  They’re not cookie cutter kpop with a sound that’s more rock than pop. Again Korea sleeps on them but they’re big in Japan. They’re under FNC Entertainment, the same label as FT Island. I love them so much! I think they also write and produce their own music. I bias every single member. Yonghwa was one of my first biases so he has a special place in my heart. Jungshin is a talented bassist. I feel like he’s kind of underrated but he’s amazing. Jonghyun is one of the best guitarists ever. Minhyuk is one of the best drummers I’ve ever heard (Since I was 3 I grew up around the sound of my cousin playing the drums. I’ve developed an ear for percussion. I can tell you which bands have great a drummer and which drummers suck.) All members can sing beautifully. You’ve Fallen For Me (Heartstring OST) is how I discovered them, so that song has a special place in my heart. They really go wild when they perform it live. This mashup of You’ve Fallen For Me and Love Revolution is really cool. I really love Radio, Hero (Jonghyun wrote it about his father), When I Was Young and Starting Over.  

Eric Nam - He’s extremely talented and his voice is beautiful. His company does an extremely poor job at promoting him. I only find out about new music that he releases because I follow him on Twitter. He literally promotes himself on social media. Good For You is such a lovely song. All his collabs are amazing. His OSTs are amazing like Bravo My Life (Prison Playbook OST) and Before the Sunset (Mad Dog OST). 

VICTON - They’re amazing. Check out Eyez Eyez, Sunrise, Remember Me and Unbelievable. They deserve a lot more love. 

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Interpol/Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Random Quarantine Thoughts

Interpol

1. A Certain Style and They Mean It... Interpol has always had a certain style that they have consistently promoted throughout their tenure. Either in any music video or live performance, they dress themselves up in dark suits and ties. There is never a time when they will be seen wearing a T-shirt and jeans. They take this level of fashion to the extreme. How do I know this? I have seen it firsthand. In 2007, I watched them at Lollapalooza on an August night that was extremely hot. They still came out wearing those warm ass suits. I remember feeling bad for the drummer.

2. Carlos D... One of the driving forces from their earlier days was the bassist Carlos D. Yet, he ended up quitting the band to focus on projects in fashion. If that is not the weirdest reason for leaving a popular band, then I do not know what is. you probably could’ve seen that coming, if you had heard some stories about him back in the early days. He was a weird dude. Simply read the book Meet Me in the Bathroom, if you would like to know more.

3. Untitled Literally... One of my favorite instrumental tracks by any band in the 2000s was their song simply titled “Untitled.” I love the track so much that I used it in a mashup with Jay Z that I entered in a Lollapalooza remix contest.

4. A Hit or Miss Band... Throughout the course of listening to this band since the mid 2000’s, I have discovered that they are a major hit or miss band. They will create some songs that are unbelievable, but it goes to the other extreme as well. The songs where they are not hitting on all cylinders are really boring. I guess that is the way it goes with some bands. They either take you to the heavens or let you sit on the couch staring off into space like I am doing right now. I will also say that as the band has gotten older a good majority of their music has been mainly miss. The only exception has been “All the Rage Back Home. I could never figure out why these bands cannot replicate the good songs more.

5. Drug of Choice, Really... This band has always been known for very slow tempos, sad, depressing songs. The one word to describe their entire catalog would probably be melancholy. This is why when I read about them being way into cocaine when they first started as fairly surprising. That is not a drug that you would think this band would be into at all. I would have guessed heroin, but then I would have been wrong.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

1. Horror Motif... many of their music videos are highlighted by the theme of horror in someway. And heads will roll, there is a werewolf future throughout the song. And why control, the children in a video or actually vampires that begin to suck the blood out of care at all. For this weirdness, I never really wholeheartedly got into this band.

2. Best Mashup Ever... One of the best mashups that I have ever heard is a song done by DJ Totom almost 12 years ago. This has Y Control by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs remixed with Bob Dylan‘s Freight Train, but it is sped up. The song is really hard to find on the Internet, but if you do find it you will not regret it.

3. Replacing the Beastie Boys... In 2008, the Beastie Boys were scheduled to headline Lollapalooza, but MCA got cancer and eventually died from it. The band that replaced them was the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s. They even did a Beastie Boys cover as a tribute to them. I remember the sense being that MCA would not die, but he would get better and eventually be back. How wrong we all were.

4. Hit or Miss 2... Much like Interpol, this band is also a hit or miss band with much of their catalog. They have these great songs that hit it right on the head like “Maps,” “Y Control,” “Heads Will Roll,” and others. Yet, they have a whole bunch of other songs that do literally nothing. For the most part, they are just taking up space on a CD. A good exercise to illustrate this fact is to try and find one song that you can remember off the album Mosquito. The crazy thing about it is they take so long between albums that you would think the songs they write would have greater quality. This is an art rock band through and through.

5. The Curious Case of Spike Jonze... This band almost broke up on its way to recording the second album. The primary reason was lead singer Karen O started dating director Spike Jonez. She even moved to Los Angeles because there was so much tension in the band. That is not a good sign when there are only three people in the band anyway. The one observation that I would make about her is she truly emerges as high maintenance.

[max-is-drunk-at-comic-con]

SanversWeek Day 5 - Domestic

This thing here is a crack fic. There is really no other word for it. It’s the Sanvers/Hamilton mashup no one need and only @queercapwriting has asked for. Not beta-read and some words might me more German than English. Anyways, enjoy this mess of ladies loving ladies geeking on about musicals. (It’s 3000 words long, so be warned)

It all started on a Sunday a couple of weeks back. It was one of those rare occasions on which Alex, worn out from the previous night with Maggie, allowed herself to sleep in. Maggie’s bed was unbelievably comfortable and it was past 10 a.m. when she finally de-snuggled herself from the blanket and rolled out of bed.

The scent of breakfast cooking and soft music accompanied by beautiful singing carried through the closed bedroom door. Alex threw a t-shirt over herself and opened the door. The smell of pancakes intensified and the singing got louder.

As she padded towards the kitchen, she started to make out rapid words rapped flawlessly.

“I’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich. My father has no son so I am the one who has to social climb for one. So, I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in New York City is insidious and Alexander is penniless. Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less.”

Alex came to a halt in the doorway. Maggie didn’t seem to notice her standing there for she was too wrapped up in flipping pancakes, frying bacon, and acing each and every word of the Hamilton song playing.

“He’s after me coz I’m a Schuyler sister that elevates his status. I’d have to be naïve to set that aside, maybe that is why I introduce him to Eliza; now that’s his bride. Nice going, Angelica, he was right, you will never be satisfied.”

Alex stood there, frozen in astonishment at her girlfriend’s beautiful singing voice and great talent for memorizing lyrics. Maggie whirled around the kitchen, seeming never to have to take a breath, barefoot and only clad in Alex’s old Stanford shirts, hair still messy from the night before, and Alex decided that she had never looked more beautiful.

The next song started and Maggie seamlessly tapped into that one as well.

Over the course of the next week, Alex found out that Maggie did not only know the lyrics to a couple of songs from Hamilton, but to all of them. Every. Single. One.

“And here I was, thinking that I’m the nerd in this relationship,” she teased her girlfriend one evening, after a flawless performance of “Non-Stop” in which Maggie sung ALL the parts. Maggie had laughed and had retorted, “Takes one to know one, Danvers”, but still had felt flattered.

Two weeks later, the astonishment Alex had experienced when she had first heard Maggie perform Hamilton songs had been replaced by sheer annoyance. No matter what time of day, Hamilton was blasting through both of their apartments respectably and Alex had enough. Yes, she did like the musical, but having to hear it constantly was just too much for her.

The next time Maggie was about to plug the aux cable of Alex’s stereo into her phone, Alex stopped her.

“You’re not gonna play Hamilton again, are you, babe?” she asked, voice harsher than intended. In her defence, she had just come home from a sixteen-hours shift and all she wanted was some peace and quiet and lots of cuddling with her girlfriend.

Maggie’s face sunk, but she shook her head and instead played some soft jazz. For the rest of the evening she was oddly taciturn and went to bed early. Alex’s brain then was too tired to really make sense of this mood shift so she just let it go and instead opting for some sleep for herself.

When, over the course of the next days, Maggie did not try to play Hamilton even once, Alex started to worry. Now, Alex was coming home to a quiet apartment with only the televised news filled the silence. She still couldn’t explain to herself why Maggie had reacted so strongly, though, so she asked her girlfriend about it.

Maggie just shrugged and said, “You don’t like it. It’s whatever, Danvers.”

It’s whatever was Maggie saying This thing is important to me, but I refuse to talk about it and rather bottle up my feelings, Alex knew that. But she also knew that pressing Maggie on the matter wouldn’t bring them near any solution as well.

On day four, it started to dawn on her. Maggie geeked out about the lyrics of the musical from day one and even though Alex had listened to what Maggie had said at that time, she had quickly forgotten all about it again.

When Maggie had to pull a night shift the next day, Alex used that time to really sit down and go through each and every word of the two-and-a-half-hour-long musical. By the time she had finished, she had cried so many times that she had lost count and finally understood. The topics, the language, the meaning behind those beautifully crafted lines – they meant something to Maggie. She could see pieces of herself in the characters. She could draw strength from the words sung. She was moved by the story and the music. And Alex felt guilty. Guilty for dismissing her girlfriend’s obsession with the musical as something trivial. And Alex wanted to make up for that mistake.

And with that, Alex Danvers got to work.

Kara dragging them both to the alien bar’s karaoke night a week later came as the perfect opportunity for the execution of Alex’s plan. They were all there, the Superfriends including Lena Luthor. M’gann worked the bar and J’onn sat on a stool watching her mix drinks.

While the group went for drinks, Alex took Winn, who was managing the whole event, to the side and secretively let a USB drive fall into his open palm. She had already divulged her plan to him and he just nodded curtly before they both went back to their friends.

The friends pushed together some tables right in front of the stage to have the best view. All of them had signed up to sing. All, except for Maggie, that was.

Other guests slowly arrived as the clock approached eight. Five minutes past eight, Winn got up on stage.

“Good evening, guys!” he greeted the crowd. “Wow, what a wonderful turn up! Amazing! Thank you all for coming here tonight for our monthly karaoke night. The list of singers today is long, and I have taken up too much time already. So, without much further ado, welcome our first singer tonight. She’s a badass, not only in her job, but also when singing and the song she sings tonight is dedicated to her wonderful girlfriend. Everyone, give her a hand! Here is Alex Danvers!”

Alex sprung up from her seat, got on stage and grabbed the mic Winn was holding out for her. Maggie just stared at her. Alex had never started before. She would usually squeeze in a little number at the very end of the karaoke night when most guests had already left or were too drunk to take in their surroundings. But now she was the first on stage, confident posture, and a warm smile on her lips.

Maggie saw that Winn quickly grabbed a piece of clothing from the very back of the stage and helped Alex inside a very founding-father-looking jacket. Slowly it began to dawn on Maggie what Alex was about to do.

“Hello, everyone!” Alex said into the microphone. She may have been addressing the crowd, but she only looked at Maggie. “I’m honoured to start off tonight’s karaoke, but I’ll need help from a special someone a bit later in the song. Don’t worry, you will know when.” The last sentence was clearly directed towards Maggie who just looked at her confusedly.

When the first piano chords of the song played, though, Maggie knew what Alex had meant and before she realised it, Winn had pressed a microphone into her hand and had ushered her to the side of the stage. There he forced her into a similar jacket to the one Alex was wearing. The only difference was that Maggie’s was brown and Alex’s blue.

Alex drew in a deep breath and then, voice clear and crisp like a winter’s morning, a beautiful soprano, she began.

“Dear Theodosia, what to say to you? You have my eyes, you have your mother’s name. When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart…”

All Maggie could do was to stare open-mouthed. Alex Danvers made an incredible Aaron Burr, Maggie had to admit. She had found the perfect mix of strength and compassion to put into her voice.

“I’m dedicating every day to you. Domestic life was never quite my style. When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart…”

Alex was now directly looking at her and Maggie felt tears sting in her eyes. She realised, that Alex had memorised the song for her only. The gesture made her heart ache with love for this beautiful, beautiful woman pouring her soul out up on that stage. Alex seemed not even to notice the crowd hanging on every word leaving her lips, but only had eyes for Maggie.

Maggie knew exactly when she was to jump in in this duet and she wasn’t going to mess it up. She listened closely to every word, tension growing in her body, but when Alex came to the last lines of her first part, she extended her hand towards Maggie to pull her on stage.

“Oh Philip, when you smile, I am undone, my son…”

Maggie’s alto sounded throaty compared to Alex’s mellow soprano, but the huskiness with which she sung the lyrics complemented her girlfriend’s voice perfectly. Alex kept holding her hand throughout her solo, their fingers intertwined, Alex’s thumb stroking the back of Maggie’s hand.

“My father wasn’t around,” Maggie sang, gaze turning to Alex, their eyes locking. Alex jumped in with her line smoothly and the rest of their duet was a dance, a declaration of love, a hurricane of emotions. And when they let the last note fade away, tears straining their cheeks, the crowd roared and rose to their feet and clapped and clapped and clapped. Maggie was in Alex’s strong arms and she was laughing and crying at the same time, the emotions too overwhelming to keep bottled up.

When they looked at the photos James had taken of them and the crowd the next day, they saw that they weren’t the only ones to cry. On one of the pictures, Winn was just vigorously wipe away tears. On another, J’onn was shown with one single tear sliding down his cheek. But the one they liked best showed Kara, eyes red from crying, with a sobbing Lena Luthor cuddled against her side.

From there on, Hamilton filled the air again; whenever they were cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, or just felt silly enough to practice their routines that initially all happened accidentally.

Therefore, it was no surprise that they were in the middle of a heartfelt re-enactment of “That Would Be Enough” when Sara Lance burst through the door. They stammered and they stuttered and they blushed furiously, but as it turned out, Earth-1 had Hamilton as well. Alex as well as Maggie gaped at Sara’s flawless Lafayette in “Guns And Ships” which she ended with a coy smirk and a hint of a curtsy.

Of course, Sara hadn’t come to Earth-38 to geek out over musicals, but after they had completed their mission, Sara insisted on victory drinks. They went to the alien bar, claiming one of the darker corner tables. Halfway through their second bottle of whiskey, Sara stroke up a drinking song.

“I might not live to see our glory!”

Alex promptly jumped in, repeating Sara’s line. Maggie followed suit and the three of them indulged in “The Story Of Tonight”. Half a bottle later, they set up a bet; whoever was able to sing every word correctly the longest didn’t have to pay for their drinks. M’gann gave up trying to shush them at one point and Maggie had already slid off her chair when Alex finally stumbled over “freedom” and Sara tried to both grin victoriously and not to barf at the same time. Her facial expression looked gruesome.

By the time the doorbell woke them the next morning, neither of the three knew how they had managed to get back to Alex’s apartment. The small loft’s floor was littered with discarded clothing and pizza boxes. Sara was sprawled out on the couch, wearing nothing but boy shorts, a top and one sock. A thin blanket only covered her insufficiently. Alex and Maggie were even more indecent. Alex had fallen asleep in her underwear, sports bra askew, and Maggie had lost her bra someone through the night, but hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on.

The doorbell rang a second time and the three women grunted at the shrill noise.

“Danvers. Your apartment. You open,” Sara grunted and flung the nearest piece of clothing towards Alex’s head. The balled-up bra hit her in the head.

“You’re hungover. Why is your aim that good, asshole?” Alex grumbled and rolled herself off the bed. The doorbell rang a third time and Alex yelled that she was coming while she randomly pulled one some pants and a shirt. She stumbled for the door and opened it. In front of it stood a young man in a delivery guy’s uniform.

“Miss Danvers?” the guy wanted to know and Alex nodded curtly. “Delivery for you, Miss Danvers. I need a signature on this.”

He gave her a thin envelope and held out his clipboard which she promptly signed. Alex slammed the door in his face before he could say another word. She sunk down to the floor, back leaning against the wall.

“What is it?” Maggie asked from the bed. Alex ripped open the envelope and pulled out three Hamilton tickets. She looked at them puzzled and held them in the air for the other two women to see.

“How? Why?” was all that Alex could utter. If maybe the world stopped spinning so fast, she could make sense of it. The world didn’t do her this favour.

“I think I remember you bragging about knowing a guy who could get us into Hamilton and then calling him and scaring the living shit out of him,” commented Sara from the couch. She had sat up in the meantime. Her blond hair hung wild around her greenish coloured face.

“I think you also called J’onn and convinced him to give you the DEO jet for today to fly us to New York,” Maggie contributed. By now she had realised that she was topless and had had the decency to cover herself with a blanket. Sitting didn’t work out for her yet and she had to settle for being perched on her elbows to look at Alex on the floor.

“How did I convince J’onn?” Alex asked. She could barely remember anything.

“You flooded his mind with images of you and your girlfriend doing the nasty. He gave up within the first ten seconds,” Sara said and snorted. Meanwhile, Alex groaned loudly in embarrassment and burrowed her face in her hands.

“One problem at a time, babe,” Maggie said. “There’s one problem way more imminent than J’onn. How are we gonna make it to New York and the theatre in this state?” She gestured vaguely to Sara who has had to lie down again, hand draped over her eyes, because the light was just too bright.

They managed in the end. A lot of seltzer water, bananas and a weird potion Sara still had from her days in Nanda Parbat later, they felt well enough fly out to New York City. They slept during the whole flight and were almost themselves again when they finally piled into a cab.

They sang their version of “The Schuyler Sisters” for the whole ride and Maggie could have sworn to have heard the taxi driver mutter something about crazy musical nerds under his breath.

They were let out right in front of the theatre. Just as Sara climbed out, someone hurrying down the street bumped into her. On every other day, she might have called the man out, but all she did was saying in a sing-song-y voice, “There’s nothing like summer in the city, someone in a rush next to someone looking pretty”, accompanied with a well-trained hair flip and a shit eating grin. The other two women broke out into hysterical laughter.

As it turned out, Alex’s source didn’t just organise them tickets, but they were also for the centre of the second row.

“Damn, Danvers,” Maggie said in astonishment, “your contact is good.”

They were just on time and less than five minutes later, the show started. None of the three could contain themselves long and soon they were all semi-loudly singing along. An elderly lady in the front row kept turning to shush them, but neither the detective nor the secret agent or the trained assassin let themselves be intimidated.

Three hours later they stepped back out of the theatre, eyes puffy from crying, but big grins on their faces.

“Did you guys see? Lin-Manuel looked right at me!” Maggie exclaimed for the umpteenth time and Alex slung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek.

“I’m glad you had fun, babe,” Alex smiled and Maggie promptly cuddled closer into Alex’s side.

“You two are gross!” Sara laughed and respectably slung her arm around Alex’s shoulders. Arm in arm the three of them made their way down the street, head and heart light from happiness.

And as if they had choreographed it, they all simultaneously broke into song.

“Raise a glass to freedom, something they can never take away, no matter what they tell you. Raise a glass to the four of us, tomorrow there’ll be more of us, telling the story of tonight. Let’s have another round tonight!”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11234952/chapters/25207656

[becamitchellsbeats]

DJ For Hire - Part 2

So I finally updated this fic. [Part1] also on AO3

"What are you doing down there?" A familiar voice asked Beca who jumped, startled by the sudden question. "Oh, Kirsty I was uh tying my lace," she said whilst quickly shoving her phone into her pocket as she stood up.

As much as Beca didn't want to be there she knew she had to be professional. It was a big opportunity for her. And she could hardly be the one to ruin Chloe's wedding by leaving her DJ-less at the last minute.

"Heres the USB" Kirsty said handing it to her "If you could play it now that would be great. My niece wanted to start rehearsing it at 1, which is any minute now" she said whilst glancing at her watch.

Beca just politely nodded and plugged the USB into her laptop. She sighed her mind was still being flooded with thoughts.

On the bright side, she couldn't see Chloe in the distance which offered her some relief.

Beca loaded up the file and hit play. A rather familiar arrangement came blasting out of the speakers. She eyed the file name skeptically.

"Wait... This is"

It was her mashup of Bulletproof she had made back when she was at Barden. She clearly remembered showing Chloe this mashup back in first year.

Beca wasn't too fond of it but Chloe seemed to love it. She insisted she let her keep it for her own personal use. Upon glancing down at the USB she recognized it was, in fact, hers.

Her mind was frazzled once again. Why did this niece want to dance to her mashup? But the most surprising thing was that Chloe still had it after all this time.

She watched as Chloe was the one who surprisingly entered the dancefloor. But Chloe wasn't focused on dancing, in fact, she was headed straight for her.

Before Beca could even try and escape, Chloe's eyes were locked on and before long the red head was standing in front of her.

Beca had a thousand things she wanted to say and ask and yet all that came out was.

"Dang, I was hoping to avoid you" she admitted truthfully. Chloe fidgeted awkwardly "I was gonna say its good to see you. But I guess you being the DJ means it'd be hard to not see me. After all, it's my-"

"Wedding, yeah. Congrat--"

Chloe started giggling "Wait? Did you really think it was me getting married?"

"Everything pointed towards it..."

"well, It's my mom's big day! It's been really stressful but."

Chloe couldn't help but notice how relieved Beca looked. "You seem almost happy Beca?"

"Yeah, I-- does that make me a bad person?'

"Depends" Chloe said shrugging innocently. "Did you not want me to get married?"

Beca glanced down at the floor. "Beca, look at me" she said softly and Beca reluctantly looked her in the eyes. "Well no, I- I don't know. I was just hurt that I wasn't invited."

At this moment Kirsty came running over "There you are! My favorite niece" she said with a smile "are you ready to do your dance? Your mom is eager to see it" Chloe smiled faintly "yup!" Kirsty then went off to sit at a table.

Chloe played with her thumb ring awkwardly. "It's kinda embarrassing now that you're here and are aware that I'm dancing to your mashup"

Beca smiled faintly "if anything I'm intrigued to see what choreography you came up with. And a little bit touched." She said looking somewhat smug.

Chloe squinted "it has nothing to do with the fact that it's your mashup" she tried to defend herself as she flailed her arms around, to which Beca smirked. "Right"

"We'll talk after?" Chloe said almost awkwardly as she backed up. To which Beca nodded. In that moment she basically forgot everything that had been said until Amy's remark came crashing back in like a wrecking ball. 'The only one she doesn't contact is you' so as Beca hit play on her mashup again she was drowning in her anxiety.

But as her mashup filled the room her mind was occupied once more. This time with the sight of Chloe, as the lights in the room now focused on her.

She moved swiftly, hitting the beats of the music with her feet. Doing all kinds of gestures as she moved along the dancefloor effortlessly. Dropping back, half-way to the floor on the 'never let you sweep me off my feet' bit before spinning and strutting forward with fierceness apparent in her eyes.

She could have sworn she made eye contact with her as she mouthed 'this time baby I'll be bulletproof' she looked fierce and hot, it was mesmerizing.

The track actually started to repeat itself as Beca zoned out. She rushed to pause it and the small audience applauded their family member's efforts.

Chloe went to approach Beca once more but Kirsty pulled her back. "I'm glad you get along with Becky. But remember she's here to work" she said with a smile.

"Aunt Kirsty I know her. She was a Bel--" but she had zoned Chloe out as she dragged her off to do more planning.

Beca was relieved in a way. It gave her time to gather her thoughts. She almost regretted being too friendly and playful with Chloe. She was hurt. But she was also desperate to be back in the redhead's life. She didn't realize how much she had missed her, not to mention the way she danced to her mashup touched her, which made everything that much more difficult for her.

The day came to an end and Beca headed outside to make a call.

"Hey, are you good to pick me up?"

Amy: "uhhhhhhhhhhh"

Beca: "Amy? Please. I just want to get out of here."

Amy: "See Beca id love to but. I've been drinking with Bumper. And--- it's not really legal for me to drive."

Beca: "Since when do you care about the law?" Beca sighed "I mean. I shouldn't encourage your terrible decisions. But you've done it before. So uh why are you choosing to stick to the law now?"

Amy: "I am trying to be a more environmentally and public friendly Australian, Beca." She said before grumbling

"That and . . . Uh Chloe asked me not to pick you up. You should talk to her Beca. I know it's been awhile but she knows you well enough to know you'd try bolt so..."

Beca sighed "of course..." She cut the call and slowly turned to see Chloe standing a short distance behind her.

"Need a lift?" She asked holding up her car keys. Beca rolled her eyes. She wasn't given much choice now. But she had to admit she found it slightly endearing.

"I don't really want to leave my equipment here overnight..." She said pointing at the building.

"It will be fine. We have all kinds of valuables in there. It's secure. You can collect it tomorrow?" Chloe suggested.

"Is that just an excuse to see me tomorrow?" Beca said raising an eyebrow. "Depennnds" Chloe said smiling innocently.

"Alright. I guess you can give me a lift" "Aus! Let me just lock up"

The car journey was awkward. And Beca could swear that Chloe kept taking detours and wrong turns to extend the journey duration.

Beca had yet to get it off her chest that she was hurt. But she just couldn't seem to find the right moment.

"So are you seeing anyone?" Chloe asked breaking the silence. And once again Beca lost her moment.

"Why'd you wanna know?" Beca countered. "Ooh so it's someone I know?" Chloe asked turning to look at her briefly.

"Well, 'seeing' is a strong word. I guess I like someone yeah. I guess we had a thing? But I've not seen them in awhile."

Chloe raised an eyebrow "And who is this someone?"

"She's a Bella, you won't know her."

At this Chloe blinked "Beca. I know all of the Bellas. I'm pretty sure i'd know her" at that Beca could have kicked herself. She wasn't good at talking on the spot, and certainly didn't mean to let the word 'Bella' slip.

"Yeah, well it's uh..."  she could feel Chloe's eyes on her "it's uh?" Chloe repeated her words.

She began skimming through the girls in her head as if they were on a games character select screen. "Stacie" she said casually.

"Oh" Chloe said softly. They drove in silence for another two minutes after that remark.

Chloe then reached forward towards her car stereo. 'Yes. Music! just what we need!' Is what Beca was thinking so she was surprised when the stereo started making a dialing sound instead.

"Hello?" A familiar yet sleepy voice now filled the car.

Chloe: "Stace, heeey. I was just wondering--"

Stacie: "When I last spoke to Beca and if she's alright? As you always ask? Again. She's good Chlo, you should really talk to her yourself though."

At that Chloe winced. "She's um kinda here. In the car. With me. Now actually..."

Stacie: "Oh. Well, hey Becs!"

"Hey..." Beca said awkwardly.

"Beca was saying how you two had a thing?"

"Dude!" Beca exclaimed

Stacie: "Did we? In a dream once maybe?"

At that moment Beca wanted to drown. She sunk into her chair as if to hide from the girl who clearly couldn't see her. She never intended her lie to be checked. And as she thought about what Stacie could be thinking another wave of anxiety hit her.

"Oh. Well thanks for clarifying" Chloe said casually "we've got to go, I'll call you tomorrow" Chloe then cut the call.

"So it's not Stacie. One Bella down, 8 to go" Chloe said casually. Beca sighed "you're unbelievable. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want answers" Chloe said casually as she dialed Cynthia Rose.

CR: "Hey gurl" Cynthia said answering almost instantaneously.

"No. The one who needs answers is me." Beca said sternly as she sat upright.

CR: "Beca? That you? Is this a bad time?"

"Sorry Cynthia, I'll call you back..." Chloe cut the call. "Beca, what is it? What's wrong?" Chloe looked at her with sad eyes "sorry -- I shouldn't pry"

"It's not that!" She almost yelled. Chloe looked puzzled.

"Dude. Amy said I'm the only Bella you don't call or keep in contact with. Why? What did I do? Do you like hate me?" her voice threatened to break "Because I'm confused. You ask about me apparently and yet you never reached out." The hurt was apparent in her eyes as she continued whilst glancing down at her boots in the footwell.

"I know I didn't reach out either... But I'm awkward about these kind of things. I don't like to be a burden if someone contacts me I know they want to talk. But you, you never did, and it frickin killed dude. It killed. And the only thing that got me through it was knowing that you hadn't contacted any of the others. They never mentioned you and I never heard Amy once talk to you on the phone. So I assumed it was all of us... man was I wrong, it was just me" she said dropping her voice

"And then I end up being hired for what I thought was your wedding and just- just-- why Chloe? What did I do?"

"I don't know Beca..." Chloe said as she drove slowly along the street.

"Well," Beca opened the car door forcing Chloe to slow down further. "You better figure it out." She said unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out the car as it slowed to a stop.

"See you tomorrow." She said shutting the door as she prepared to walk the rest of the way home.

"You made me fall in love with you"  Chloe said softly to herself.

Beca unlocked the door to her apartment. As she walked in she was surprised to see Fat Amy sitting there with Stacie.

"So, heeey Beca" Stacie said almost awkwardly. A wave of dread hit Beca. "Look if you're here about what Chloe said, I said I liked a Bella and kinda freaked out and-"

"Oh I don't mind" Stacie said shrugging. "Just give me some warning if you're gonna name drop me."

"Sorry dude." Beca said whilst scratching the back of her neck uncomfortably.

"Well, how about we go out on a date Beca?" the leggy brunette asked with a smirk

"Dude. No. Like?"

"Firstly, don't look so repelled by the thought! You'd be honored. Secondly, it doesn't have to mean anything."

Beca sighed. "Stace. The part about me liking a Bella wasn't a total lie."

"Yeah that was uh pretty obvious Beca" Fat Amy commented. "We just had to get it out of you."

Beca folded her arms in protest "Well, you don't know who it is."

"Chloe"

the other two girls said in unison. Beca found herself fidgeting uncomfortably, was it that obvious?

"And yes by the way. I know what you're thinking. It's obvious."

Beca rolled her eyes "why are you here again?"

"I want to hang!" "Its late Stacie."

"I don't mean right now Beca. I mean tomorrow. I want us to have a not-so-girly girls day out together. Just us two" Stacie then turned her head to Amy "sorry Amy but you see her all the time."

Amy just waved her hand dismissively as she continued to glance at her phone "My permission is granted."

Beca looked to Amy then back to Stacie "Just us two? Sounds like a--" "No. Not a date" Stacie sharply interrupted "I'd much rather see you get with Chloe than pursue you myself."

"Alright" Beca said sighing "I'll go but on one condition"

Stacie raised an eyebrow "seriously? We have conditions for hanging out now?"

"Okay... It's more like a favor. I left my stuff at the venue. Granted it makes sense to leave it there, but I wanna grab my laptop and Beats but uh. I don't want to deal with Chloe right now. Not until the day of her mom's wedding anyway, so could you uh, go get em for me Stace?"

Stacie shrugged "she'll know you're avoiding her" Beca nodded "I know but--" Stacie just nodded "I'll do it. But on our day out I want your full attention and participation!" Beca slowly nodded "you got it."

Stacie then got up from the couch letting out a yawn. "As much as I'd love to crash here for the night I've got a 'guest' waiting at home. I'll get your stuff in the morning Beca. Then I'll text you where to meet me."

"You're not picking me up?"

"You're the one who didn't want to call it a daaaate" she sang as she left their apartment.

Beca rolled her eyes. "Sooo" Fat Amy started "Want to tell me about what happened?"

"She never really said why," Beca said quietly as she looked at the floor.

"Yeah but this is Chloe. There's got to be a good reason"

"Who knows, goodnight Amy" Beca then disappeared upstairs. Not wanting to discuss anything further.

The next day Chloe was eagerly waiting by the shutters. She knew Beca would get there early and didn't want to miss her.

Except the one who got there early was actually Stacie. The surprise was apparent on Chloe's face when she saw Stacie get out her car and walk over.

"Stacieee" she laughed almost nervously "what are- what are you doing here?"

Stacie smiled awkwardly "Beca sent me" Chloe sighed "Figures," she said unlocking the shutter and pulling it up above her head. "I just need her laptop and Beats. She changed her mind about the rest."

Chloe just nodded "Mhmm" she said reaching for Beca's laptop bag. She folded the Beats into the hard case and shoved them into the bag as well. "Here you go" she said handing the bag to Stacie.

"Chlo, you seem sad," the taller girl asked sounding concerned  

"Me sad? Never" she laughed "I am totally fine." She said forcing a smile. "Look, you don't need to hide your feelings from me."

Chloe began to mumble "I'm really good at hiding feelings apparently" but Stacie didn't catch it.

"Hey, I have an idea! How about we have a girls day out!" she said excitedly before mumbling "Which won't be too girly because hey, I can be a bit of a dude."

Chloe smiled "I'd like that. It's been awhile since just the two of us have hung"

Stacie nodded "I'll text you where to meet me and a time" Chloe laughed lightly "you're not picking me up?"

"Just think! You can listen to Ed Sheeran's new album on the way over" and at that Chloe grinned "you're right!"

"Awesome" 'too easy' she thought to herself as she ducked under the shutter slightly and made her way back to her car, waving one last time over her shoulder.

As Chloe watched Stacie drive off she stood there and squinted her eyes. "Wait a minute I could have listened to it in her car." She said shaking her head at herself.

A few hours passed and it was almost time to meet Stacie.

Beca sat on a bench, wearing her Beats, tapping her foot in time with the beat of the drums as she waited for Stacie to show. She got there a bit early to ensure she could listen to some of her new playlist.

She saw something move out of the corner of her eye in the distance. But didn't bother to glance away from her phone screen.

Chloe had now arrived too. She saw Beca in the distance, clearly wrapped up in her own world of music. On one hand, she wanted to run over to her but on the other, she thought it'd be a bit creepy. Sure it was a public park but it'd still be weird.

So she made her way over, going the long way around, sticking to the edge of the park to avoid being spotted. She then sat on a bench that was a few feet away from Becas.

So far she was unnoticed which was good.

But then she felt even creepier for sitting so closely without saying hi. At least Beca had an excuse not to see her.

Chloe fidgeted with her thumb ring awkwardly. The park was pretty quiet so she found herself swaying to the sound of the music leaking from Beca's Beats. 'Is that Ed Sheeran? She said it wasn't her thing' it was safe to say she was content in that moment.

Content,

Until Beca looked up and their eyes met. They seemed to jump at the sight of one another. Beca was startled to see the redhead whereas Chloe was just startled that she had been spotted.

"So..." Beca slowly pulled her Beats down to her neck. She paused her music letting Chloe know she had her full attention.

"I'm not following you I swear!" Chloe quickly blurted out.

Beca seemed to ponder for a moment before she suddenly smirked "That bitch." She shook her head as a toothy grin made its way on to her face. At this Chloe was confused "What?"

"Stacie. You're waiting to meet Stacie right?" To that Chloe quickly nodded, that's when it hit her too. "She set us up didn't she," Chloe said awkwardly.

"Yup-p" Beca said popping the 'P' "well, this was fun" Beca then stood up and went to leave but the sound of rustling soon distracted her as a tall and leggy brunette emerged from a clearing between the trees and bushes.

"Sorry I'm late guys!" Stacie said innocently as she half-ran over. To say the girls were surprised to see her was an understatement.

"You uh, you actually came?" Beca said skeptically

"I'll be honest. I was just going to watch you from the bushes. But I do have the whole day planned sooo."

Both Beca and Chloe stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"Awesome, well you two can go do the things and I'll uh catch you later." Beca said as she started to walk backward but Stacie grabbed her wrist "Nope! I told you it was a girls day out. Meaning multiple. Meaning three! Us three. You both agreed to a 'girls' day out. So we're going to have fun together. As a three. Got it?" She said grinning as she linked Chloe's arm.

Beca looked grumpy but Chloe looked pretty excited now. "C'mon lets gooo" Stacie said dragging them towards her car. "I didn't pick you guys up for a reason. There's no way you'd of got in if you saw the other one sitting there."

And Beca for one, couldn't deny that was true.

Stacie had now successfully managed to get the two girls into her car.

Beca begrudged going in Stacie's car. It took away her freedom. She couldn't just drive off if she needed to and part of her thought Stacie planned that.

She leaned up against the back window of the car as Stacie drove them to whatever destination she had in mind. At this point, Beca just wanted to get the whole thing over with. It would be easy to act normal with Chloe, but she didn't want to. She was hurt and hadn't been given a good enough answer and that was all the reason she needed to be distant.

Chloe, however, seemed content. She was sitting in the front laughing about some past memory with Stacie.

Before long they arrived at the Space Center.

Of course.

Its Stacie after all her idea of 'fun' isn't typical.

Beca didn't care for being there. Not. one. bit.

Chloe, however, took an interest, but Beca was sure that she'd take an interest or at least try to look interested in almost anything if it was important to a fellow Bella.

Stacie was in her element. Snapping photos, snapchatting and dragging the two into selfies with all kinds of devices and modules.

It was exhausting to Beca.

And by the time Chloe returned from doing a rocket simulator even she looked tired. She staggered over, looking ill. "That was intense" she groaned to Beca as she almost fell, to the point that Beca had to catch her and hold her up.

She was clearly unsteady on her feet.

"Put your arm around me" Beca muttered as she watched Stacie dashing about with her phone in the distance. Chloe put her arm around Beca and let her support her. "I'm sorry..." She whispered softly.

"It's cool. These machines seem crazy. I mean they train on them right?"

"No, I mean--" but before Chloe could get any more words out Stacie came bouncing over. "It's a shame our tours come to an end" Stacie said with a pout.

"Well, I guess that's that," Beca said feeling relieved that it was over. "For the Space tour yeah" Stacie said shrugging "But! There's more. We're going to check out an old house where weird paranormal things have happened next! Annnd I've got a hike down a mountain trail planned And after that a steam train tour!"

Before Beca and Chloe could even react they found themselves being dragged to her car once again.

When would the nightmare end.

By the time Stacie had dragged them around the spooky house and scared the life out of Chloe even Chloe had reached her limit. She was exhausted, physically and mentally.

So when they reached the mountain trail she broke. Stacie was off in the distance at the time, fetching ice cream.

At this moment Chloe turned to Beca and grabbed her by the hand. "I can't take anymore! I love Stacie. I really do. But I just can't. I need to get away. Even if just for 10 minutes!"

Beca laughed "Okay. Good because I've been dying for the past 3 hours. I don't know how you lasted so long." They both then checked to ensure Stacie was distracted before bolting down the trail to get to a more secluded area.

Stacie glanced back to see they were gone. She smiled, placing the three ice cream cones into a holder before pulling out her phone.

Stacie: "I finally broke them" she said into her phone

Amy: "I'll admit. They're better friends than I thought they were. I'd of abandoned you long ago"

Stacie: "I told you they'd last to the trail. I mean it's Chloe. She's too nice. I knew none of this would interest them."

Amy: "Only you would plan for your friends to run off and leave you."

Stacie: "Well, it was the whole purpose! They needed to bond over something."

Amy: "Well at least you had fun. Did you get the flavors I liked?" Fat Amy asked

Stacie: "Yup. They asked for chocolate and vanilla but hey, I knew they'd bolt. So your flavors await you."

"Awesome. Because I'm here" Fat Amy said cutting the call as she stood behind Stacie licking her lips. "I've got to admit Stace. It's impressive just how much you could predict them"

"That's what happens when you major in psychology. Now, here's hoping our plan works. Maybe they'll finally talk. I don't think they'll be in a rush to find me."

Beca and Chloe sat on a bench, together this time. They looked exhausted but content. The view of the mountainside was surely something, the area was secluded and overlooked the trail's horizon perfectly.

"Hey Beca" Chloe said softly to ensure she had her attention. "The other day when I said I didn't know why... I-I lied."

Beca turned her head to look at her "go on,"

"Okay." Chloe exhaled sharply "I found myself falling for you. I'm in love with you Beca. I have been for years and part of me has denied it was possible, the other part of me is scared and the other wants you to be in love with me too."

Beca was taken aback. "Chloe..." "I know" Chloe threw her hands up "its stupid and selfish and doesn't justify me ignoring you for the past year and whatever. It just pained me to be close to you because you'd never feel the same and then... And then when I saw you at the venue I realized it pained me to be a part from you even more. I messed up, I'm sorry..."

Chloe stood up but Beca swiftly pulled her back down towards the bench "Wait" she said making Chloe turn to look at her. "Who said I'd never feel the same? I never once said that. Like. Jesus christ dude" Beca chuckled lightly "I've been in love with you since the moment you gave me that stupid card in the shower. You were the Bella I was referring to after all"

Before Chloe could respond Beca leaned in and pressed her lips against hers, Chloe melted into the kiss, her eyes teared up as she closed them, kissing the other girl tenderly.

The moment was disturbed by the sound of a camera clicking. Both of them opened their eyes, startled.

Stacie stood there grinning "okay so like, when you two plan to get married you'll thank me for capturing this moment" before they could so much as comment Stacie skipped off with Fat Amy following behind her, shooting the two a wink.

Both Beca and Chloe laughed before looking at one another and smiling.

"Where were we again?" Chloe said leaning close pressing her nose against Beca's.

"I think we were at the part where we start our life together."

"I'd like that. Let's make up for lost time Beca."

[ihouseucom]

Third Party Interview ahead of their Ministry of Sound gig this Friday!

#housemusic Building a loyal and fanatical fan-base through their richly distinct and unique progressive sound, few acts in the electronic dance music scene can quite command the same level of respect and attention as British pair, Third Party. We chatted to them ahead of their event at London's Ministry of Sound tonight... Your label Release Records will be taking over The Gallery at Ministry of Sound on June 29th - how excited are you? What can I House U readers expect from the night? Very excited is an understatement! Ministry Of Sound is one of those clubs where we really try to push ourselves and take people on a journey and most importantly we are able to play as progressive as we like which is awesome! Why should music fans go to your show rather than other events in London? We feel like there isn't many people flying the progressive flag at the moment, it seems to be either pure EDM or pure techno nights available to people. We feel at our 'Release' nights we mix good beats with melodic euphoric moments and take people on a real journey through many ups and downs! ‘Free’ dropped earlier this month, and of course samples the Rozalla classic track ‘Everybody’s Free’. What made you want to sample that track and how did you go about making sure you did it justice? We've known this sample for a very long time now, it got used quite a bit in mashups when we first got into the scene around 2009/10 . It's an instant recognisable classic so we were always very weary about making sure we did it justice. If it didn't fit smoothly into the instrumental we created we would never have used it but luckily it just worked so well, it had to become part of the song. The fans reaction has been unreal so that's given us great confidence that hopefully we've done it justice! We heard ‘Free’ is the first track to come off your next album - can you give us any info on what the album holds, what kind of musical direction you’re going for? Not too much info can be said right now apart from we're not far away from finishing it. Musically we feel like it's going to be similar to what we've always created, it seems like there's a craving for us to keep the big room progressive vibes as we think people have had enough of most of the producers going in too much of a pop direction nowadays. We love making anthem tunes that still have a progressive feel to them so it's hard not to produce them when we're in the studio. Your debut album ‘Hope’ was really well received by fans and critics - are you feeling the pressure for your second album to match up to it? It’s actually quite a short window between both albums compared to a lot of electronic artists - were you just feeling the creative juices flowing, or did you have enough tracks stacked up to fill out an album? The thing with Hope was that it kind of came about due to the amount of tracks we had stored up over a fairly long period of time. This 2nd album we've started from scratch so it's felt like a very different process to the way we created the first album. The main reason we have dived right back in to another album is because of the unbelievable reaction we had to the first one, by being able to drop a whole concept to the fans, not just musically but visually/artworks/show designs . etc... We feel like we can truly deliver something worth people buying into and becoming apart of, at the end of the day we create to inspire others and dropping an album seemed to inspire the most of amount of people we have ever had the pleasure of doing that to. Progressive House has had something of a backlash over the past couple of years with a lot of fans moving to other genres and away from the whole ‘Big Room’ sound. Why do you think you’ve managed to weather the storm and not just stayed popular but you’re actually now seeing your profile grow outside of the UK? Great question. We feel like the majority of producers tend to move with the hype sounds, or they look at which DJ's are getting the most success and then end up changing their sound in that particular direction. Big Room was on a high few years back and then moved away from the mass hype sound in the last few years, we made this type of music because we loved it so we weren't just going to change sound and I think that's whats been a big part to a recent incline in success the last few years. Also very recently you can sense Big Room Progressive is slowly on the incline again so you can guarentee the hype following producers will all start making Big Prog again and we'll be sitting here saying 'Welcome Back, where you been?' ! You just got back from Ultra Korea - how was that? Unreal, Korea honestly has some of the best fans in the world! Ultra Korea was only the second time you’ve unleashed your LIIIVE show - how did it go down with fans? It went great, each show we do we're adding to the Live set up, it just adds another dimension to the performance which is great as just watching people perform with decks can get a bit boring at festivals especially. Tell us about the show; what are you aiming to achieve with it? Basically we trying to create a new audio/visual experience that people have never seen from us before. When the right visuals meet certain music, it can really take the whole show experience to another level which is awesome to work on and try to make perfect. With guys like Prydz upping the stakes when it comes to their show production, do you think it’s critical for artists across the board to up their game on that end of things? Or do you think it should really just come down to the music? 100%. If too many DJ's just turn up at festivals/clubs around the world with their USB and take zero pride in how they're show is taken, it will ultimate help with the decline of electronic music as people will get bored and look to the next thing. Making the best music you can is still initially your first goal, but if you ever get the privilege to travel the world and DJ full time, you should feel the responsibility to give people the best show you can, Eric Prydz is one of many that show you what can be created when you really put the time and effort into it! What can we expect from your set at Ministry? Lots of new music, we might test some of the new album as it's maybe the best sound system in the world! We just want people to feel the music and really let themselves go and not have a worry in the world when they're on the dance floor, this is our main aim with 'Release'! notification email: kat@the-motherlode.comMedia Images:  http://dlvr.it/QYnsJL

[tinyhandsbigsouls]

Youngblood and young souls: an album review and analysis

Teenage years are probably the most scary years of your youth because you are, or at least in my case, faced with THE problem of trying to decide who you are and what makes you, well, you. For most people the process of finding themselves, of uncovering their very own identity, something that feels true to them, is a very messy thing. You have your own thoughts and you have to deal with the fact that everyone around you thinks they are entitled to their own input on who you are. That alone is stressing enough, now imagine the same scenario except this time you are in the very center of the public eye, with thousands of people watching your every move and with crushing expectations hovering above you. Now THAT might make you feel a whole other level of stressed, but that is not quite what happens with 5SOS. Starting out on their first teenage years and moving far away from family to pursue their goals is exactly what these guys went through, and we don't even know half of it! But instead of crumbling down to the fierce pressure 5SOS managed to find a sound that felt authentic to each of them and that could top their previous work. As a fan that started supporting them in still their early days, seeing them grow as artists and as people has been an incredible journey for which I'm glad I'm here for. To me Youngblood represents finding yourself and even though I can't relate to a lost love I can still feel the same self-discovery process I'm going through right here. To give Youngblood the recognition it deserves I will go track by track and write my thoughts for each song. I hope you can join me through this journey and we can share thoughts. Please enjoy the adventure that this unbelievable album has to offer. This is my take on the album and what it means to me.

1. LIE TO ME: The intro of this song feels so fresh and Luke's voice sound so fragile I can feel the pain within it. This song makes me cry the loss of a loved one I never had. It makes me feel so sad yet kind of nostalgic because the person the song is written about made them feel a certain way they are not quite ready to let go of. The person knows love isn't there anymore but it hurts to accept that it is gone and instead of accepting the cold truth they would rather embrace a warm lie. "You look happy, oh". Remaining feelings of a lost relationship are poured and it feels the person might just be ready to have their heart broken.

"Wish we never met because you are too hard to forget".

2. VALENTINE: I think we might have just found our new Valentine's day anthem. This song feels so different from any music they've written before, it has this kind of dark beat that says something might have just gone wrong in this relationship and we are now making a turn into a dark ally in a mostly metaphorical way. See this would mean that this person has some kind of darker energies which pulls us into terrain we haven't see before which is weird but fun and it makes us go "well, what could go wrong?". Just to make my point clear, this song has a sound that makes me feel so badass and unpredictable, like I could be that mystery person that takes you feel things you have never felt before. It also makes me feel, in the words of Meredith Grey, dark and twisty, but in a good way. I also for some weird reason feel like this song could also work for a halloween party because it feels like something dark you can somehow dance to, although maybe that's just me.

3. TALK FAST: I really like this song because it makes me picture myself in the 60s dancing to this in my pajamas, socks and headphones. The lyrics on this one are more calm because I mostly feel like they are throwing words around. However in deeper thought you can create a whole story out of these words and it rather seems like a tragic love story in where a car crash ends it all, if this were to be a metaphor it could work as if the relationship was going too fast and then something happened and it suddenly ended which leaves us with questions as to what happened between them or why did it stop?

4. MOVING ALONG: The first 10 seconds give you a glimpse back at their old sound and it makes you feel in a throwback for a few seconds but then this awesome drums come in and swoop you into a new 5SOS era with a more mature sound. In this song drunk you attempts to bring that s/o back while pretending you've already moved on but still deeply hooked up. It radiates a sense of truth that many people hide because "is it bad that I hope that you are broken? Is it bad?" is such a common unspoken mindset where two people are in complete different places regarding a relationship.

"Scared of moving along but you're already gone".

5. IF WALLS COULD TALK: I love this song so MUCH. The beginning of this song feels so refreshing and mysterious, then the buildup it creates delivers in a way that feels so electrifying. Now if we go to the lyrics, "if these walls could talk, I don't think they would say anything because they've seen way to many things". We feel who this relationship has been filled with so many memories, feelings and emotional weight that to some point could feel overwhelming. Therefore, at this point everything that the relationship has become is kept in secret because it involves things that could be so intimate and could reveal a vulnerable side to the people in the relationship. The sound ties everything together because it reminds us that things are mysterious to us and we don't really know all of it.

6. BETTER MAN: This song feels like the very beginning of a new relationship in which the person realizes that their s/o has an impact on their actions. The message on this song is fairly simple yet so pleasant because it gives the hope of a bright new love ahead and a world full of possibilities for it.

7. MORE: I like the vibes that this song radiates, it brings me to a mashup of old rock and a throwback at Arctic Monkeys' Do I Wanna Know. It makes for an ode to past music with a definitely new and fresh sound. Here it is very clear that 5SOS have grown as artists and have dared to go further out from their only pop-punk music and explore other of their roots in a way that makes them learn and mature.

8. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME: I think this is 5SOS version of a love ballad, except well, it's mostly a heartbreak ballad which makes it even more unique. This song is perfect for that one sad moment after a relationship has ended or perhaps for that moment where the relationship hasn't even started, dedicated to that ONE person, we all know who.

9. WOKE UP IN JAPAN: Now, not everyone might feel immediately related to this song but this one is very good listen me out. Even when you think you might have everything you want there is a point where you realize you don't. For everyone it feels quite different, it might be when you realize you haven't heard that voice inside you that urges you to do that one thing that you love, or when you realize you haven't been paying much attention to your s/o and you're drifting apart, or when your friends don't really feel like your friends. Whatever the way it happens to you, when you realize it you feel empty or lonely or a million other things. Now this is song represents those feelings of uncertainty or the unknown. 

10. EMPTY WALLETS: This song title represents the state of my wallet almost always. Anyway, THIS SONG GOES HARD. I imagine how incredible this song would sound live, it is a completely different vibe and I really like how it captures a mixture of feelings of spending everything you've got for someone but being thorn as wether it was a good decision or not.

11. GHOST OF YOU: This song is so soft yet so deep, I feel it portrays a gloomy state of mind in which the person looks back on amazing memories and is heartbroken because it is now gone. I could picture a movie scene in which the main character looks back on their life with a sense of sentimentality towards their best moments with their s/o and just about the cutest scenes ever. 

12. MONSTER AMONG MEN: This song definitely deserves to be played on speakers. I like what they did on this song because it feels like both a chill song and a potencial song for the summer. Also, Michael's solo at the beginning? That is an absolute yes from me.

13. MEET YOU THERE: This song, now THIS song. Just imagine this song live opening the Meet You There Tour and setting out the ground for an amazing night, with everyone dancing and having the time of their lives, that's a concept I like.

14. BABYLON: OH I absolutely adore Calum's take on this song, this could very well be one of my favorite songs on the album. The buildup they make is straight up amazing and the guitars sound super cool. This goes far from what I usually listen to but it still feels so great and it somehow is still true to their new sound. Babylon really helps complete the sound they've created throughout the album and I'm so for it.

15. BEST FRIENDS: This song has a similar sound to Valentine in the sense that it has that dark halloween-y vibe. Also, if I'm correct Ashton has a solo here and it sounds super cool? I wished he got to sing more on the record because his voice is so good. I don't have much to say for this song except that it is definitely pretty cool.

16. WHEN YOU WALK AWAY: Luke's voice at the beginning? I think I'm deceased. I wish this was on Spotify so I could listen to a better version where there isn't so much background noice. Anyhow, this son is still pretty great!

17. WANT YOU BACK: I absolutely fell in love with this song since the first time I listened to it and I am still there. The vocals are straight up amazing and it has a more pop sound to it than the rest of the album, it also feels like a better song to listen to. It is absolutely a radio friendly song while it also makes this whole album make sense. 

18. YOUNGBLOOD: I left this song till the end with a purpose, 5SOS has mentioned this on several interviews but now that I've listened to the album this song is most certainly the piece that ties it all together, every single song comes back to this and even though they have different sounds and stories they all point to Youngblood. 

Throughout this album 5SOS have created a profound story of love and heartbreak, living your best life and feeling lonely. Staying together for seven years, as the band has said, has been a challenge for them but that never became an obstacle or a problem that they couldn't face. The past has been full of milestones and accomplishments and I'm absolutely certain that if they stay true to themselves as individuals and as a group their future will be incredible.

Thank you truly for everything,

your fan.

P.S. If you came this far I absolutely adore you!

@5sos