Tumgik
#i wish i could go to each every one of you and tell you how much it means to me
i-yap · 1 day
Text
Batboys x quiet! reader(who is not quiet in private)
( some of the reasons for the quietness is a bit traumatic so uhh warning)
Dick grayson -
opposites attract is possibly my favorite trope ever. And that is exactly what you guys are . Not exactly golden retriever x black cat though people who didn't know you guys well assumed such .
Dick would get exhausted spending forever being charming and charismatic for even the most extroverted of people get tired when they had to manage multiple superhero teams, a detective squad and the whole batfamily.
You were silence, peace serenity almost..until you weren't. Grayson was worried about this relationship in the start, after all you guys were really different. He was afraid you were going to be annoyed by his sunshine self, and that when he isn't feeling like talking, the conversations would go silent.
But you really are so different when comfortable with someone, and its tough not to trust and drop your shield with grayson.
It took him by surprise slowly seeing you open up and show your weird side. It somehow made him cherish it more and even want to show sides of him that only you got to see.
When he asked you why you weren't like this with everyone you said " My parents had a habit of talking over me, sometimes outrightly not hearing me speak at all. No matter how loud I spoke..i wondered if they couldn't hear me...if anyone even wanted to you" "why me then?" asked dick , "you're nothing like my parents, I know you care" and he does..he really does. He won't ever let you feel like that every again. He will make sure everything you want said is heard, and if not he will burn it into the skyline
Jason todd
he appreciated it, a quiet person in public. He hated being in public, he hated the buzz the noise the push the touch of humans around him. He felt strange
till he feels you hold his knowing you felt just as strange as him. Leave the gala and walk around the library , one earphone in each ear listening to whatever you wished to play.
Pulling you close in crowded areas- was it for you or for him? Glaring at anyone who dared tease you about your quietness. A single glare usually does the job but don't worry ...other ways exist too.
He loves that when you two are alone, you are a completely different person. It makes him feel special, like he is the only one who understands you. Because you're the only one who understands him.
When he asks " well I guess I never felt like people liked what came out of my mouth.. my humour too dark, my words too dumb and I didn't make sense. So I stopped trying" don't worry about being cringe..he understands you completely
Tim drake
he is intruiged. How do you pull such a perfect facade. How does one look so poised and collected with those rich assholes and so wild and untamed with him?
He could never really perfect the act the way you did. He's seen you grow up, but somehow its like you were born with two people living in your brain.
If you're this mysterious to your childhood lover, how does anyone in the world even think that they could know you, both versions of you.
Dont get me wrong, he loved it, A mystery he never could solve, not even with your help.
" Teach me your ways master" "I remember you wanting me to call you that last night..oh no wait it was si-" "shut upp" "fine ill tell you timmy boy, I just believe those rich stick up their ass puppets don't deserve to see all ..this.." "what about school kids, friends , teemates-" "I don't need anyone to get me as long as you do"
He will never get it, even if someone engraved it into his skin he wont understand everything about you , you'll always be the case he couldn't solve.
AND WE ARE BACK BICHES , send in requests and stuff, inbox open again blah blah I'm feeling much better now but I might push angst stuff more
170 notes · View notes
kjack89 · 1 day
Text
Never Say Die
Happy Barricade Day!
On the night of June 5th, Marius arrived home late. Cosette was not waiting for him at the door, wringing her hands with worry. She had learned her lesson after the first year, after hours spent pacing, wondering when Marius would return, fearing that something had happened to him – he was weak still, weaker than he would ever admit, try as he did to be strong for her especially, but his body had not yet fully healed even a year on, to say nothing of the other wounds he bore that very well may never heal. Marius had returned home eventually that first June night, late enough that the date had slipped from the 5th to the 6th, and when finally he did walk through the door, Cosette threw her arms around him. “I feared the worst,” she told him, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “I feared I may have lost you.”
His only response had been to stroke her dark hair gently, holding her until she let go. He offered no word then of where he had gone, or where he would again go the following year, or the year after. He did not voice the names of those he had lost, no more than he shared any tales of the time they had spent together. 
Not then, at least, but Cosette had slowly learned of those who had suffered the fate Marius had come so close to, when Marius let slip a name or the start of a story. At first, he would break off, his face creasing with pain from a wound that would never truly mend, no matter her ministrations. Then, over time, he would tell her more. Very rarely about the barricade itself, but more about the small moments he had shared with his friends, his observations of the men he had known.
As the years passed, Cosette felt like she finally knew the men she had never had a chance to meet, the men whose impact on Marius remained marked, even after all this time.
So much so that every June 5th, like the one in question, he would disappear from their house to spend time, seemingly, with the ghosts of his memory as his only companion.
And though she would never understand what it must be like to carry them with him, she could equally never find it in herself to begrudge him this one indulgence.
On the night in question, Cosette had long since retired to their bed, though she was still awake when he slipped in beside her, and she waited for him to make himself comfortable and blow out his candle before curling against him. 
For a long moment they lay together in silence until finally Cosette ventured softly, “I know that you miss them.”
Marius sighed. “I do,” he confirmed, equally quiet.
Cosette lifted herself up to tell him, sincerely, “I wish there was anything more I could do to ease this ache each June.”
Wordlessly, Marius gathered her to him, kissing her forehead. “I do miss them,” he repeated, “but that is– it is an old hurt now.” He shook his head. “Time heals, they say, and I know not how much truth there is in such a pat sentiment. But it does ease the consternation, at least slightly. And besides…”
He trailed off and Cosette frowned up at him. “And besides?” she prompted after a moment.
Marius cleared his throat. “And besides, they’re not gone, of course,” he finished, his voice a little rough. “Not truly.”
“In the way that no one who we love ever truly leaves us?” Cosette asked, laying her head against Marius’s chest.
He bent to press another kiss to the top of her head. “Yes,” he said, “but also no. It’s more than that.”
She tilted her head up toward him. “What do you mean?”
He hesitated. “I mean…they live on,” he said finally, the starkness of the statement emphasizing its sincerity. “They must.” He shrugged almost helplessly. “Just as I feel they must have lived before. Whenever one galvanizes a small group against all odds, I must believe that Enjolras is there in that moment, in that strength in the arm hoisting a flag high.”
Cosette had never heard him speak of his friends this way, and she almost held her breath, as if afraid that would be enough to break the spell.
Marius stroked her hair almost absentmindedly as he continued, something soft and almost wistful in his tone, “When one manages to teach the most important of lessons with the simplest of words, I must believe that Combeferre is speaking through them, as once he spoke to me. When one is bone-weary from scraping a living but still shows up in every way that matters, they keep Feuilly alive with them.”
His hand stilled and Cosette tightened her grip on him, just slightly, the small movement enough for his hand to resume its motions. “Bossuet lives through every selfless gesture, every sacrifice which may seem small but lights a fire that can never be extinguished, and Joly lives at his side to walk through that fire with him.” 
Despite himself, he smiled, just slightly. “And should my words, should anyone’s words in service of revolution seem even slightly poetic, then I know it is only because Jehan breathes them from our lips. And when words fail and fists become the only recourse, I know Bahorel is there, with that fierce grin.” 
He shook his head, his smile fading. “And whenever a toast is raised to friendship, to the unbreakable bonds of brotherhood, I will only ever see Grantaire, his bottle held aloft.”
���And Courfeyrac—” 
For the first time, his voice broke, and Cosette held him even tighter, not daring to speak. After a long moment, Marius cleared his throat, though he made no attempt to finish his thought, only kissing Cosette once more, the gesture saying more than his words ever could.
“They lived,” Marius said finally, his voice quiet but banded with steel. “They were real, flesh and blood. I touched them, I knew them, I loved them.”
Again his voice broke. “Love them still.”
He swallowed, hard, his voice rough and pained as he said, barely louder than a whisper, “And they died. And a part of my heart died with them on the barricade that day.”
There was just the hint of sob in his voice, the hint of such naked pain that caught in his throat as if he didn’t dare share it, and Cosette’s heart broke for him. Wordlessly, she propped herself upright and tugged him down so that their positions were reversed, so that she held Marius against her breast as he curled around her, hot tears soaking the bodice of her nightgown.
After a long moment, Marius recovered somewhat, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath and shifting so that his head rested against his shoulder, and he reached down to take her hand, lacing their fingers together. “They died,” he repeated, more steadily this time. :But their ideas—” He shook his head. “They were never solely theirs and so could never, can never, truly die.” He turned his head to press a kiss to her shoulder before adding, “Not until all chains and broken and there are no battles left to fight, at least.”
He brushed his thumb lightly against her knuckles. “It is a beautiful gift, in a way,” he whispered, more to himself than to her, “to live forever as a thread in the fabric of freedom.” He squeezed her hand. “And as much as I miss them, and I do, some days more than words, some days so much that my heart feels it might claw its way from my chest, there is great comfort in knowing that.”
Marius took one last deep breath before finishing, “And it makes it at least a little easier to bear.”
For one long moment, Cosette was silent, simply holding Marius against her, her own unshed tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Then she bent to kiss his forehead like a benediction, like absolution for that pain she knew he still carried with him. “For what little it is worth,” she whispered, “though I never met them, I feel as though they live within my heart as well.”
“It is worth everything,” he told her, tugging her down to kiss her properly before telling her, “And that too makes it easier to bear.”
As much as she would never truly know if Marius meant it, or simply said it to ease her own conscience, the secondhand hurt she carried from him, Cosette still felt something warm bloom in her chest at his words, and she pulled him closer still, holding him silently  with the only comfort she could offer until sleep claimed them both.
If all of his friends lived within him, within any who continued their fight, then Cosette had to believe that Marius too would live on inside anyone who survived to fight still.
And as she drifted to sleep still holding Marius against her, she could not help but think that was as beautiful a belief as any she’d ever held.
46 notes · View notes
yanderes-galore · 2 days
Note
I also saw that MHA is on your list, so can I request a Midoryia oneshot with a reader who keeps trying to escape him? Like the reader used to have a massive crush but after he kidnapped them they started to not want to be with him in fear for their safety. (If that makes any sense..)
Sure! This is a Pro-Hero AU, you two knew each other in school.
Faltering
Yandere! Izuku Midoriya Short
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Delusional behavior, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Babying, Degrading behavior (He treats you like a misbehaving child), Forced relationship.
Tumblr media
You knew Izuku Midoriya when you were both in school. Back then he was such a scrawny kid, going from quirkless to having a quirk. Despite the oddity of that you still managed to be attached.
You knew he was always so ambitious. Izuku always said he wanted to be like his idols and go Pro. His dreams were cute and you often wanted to support him.
So you made it such a goal when you both went to U.A. You called it your heart guiding you as you managed to land yourself in the Support Department. You forced yourself to learn how to create support gear with help from your upperclassmen.
Pretty soon you became skilled in the field... originally just to help your crush.
You tried not to let your feelings cloud your mindset when you trained in U.A. You saw him occasionally when you delivered gear and were always greeted with such a sweet smile. One that made your heart flutter whenever he looked at you.
Izuku would always give you a sweet 'Thank You' before offering to chat. With pink dusting your face, you'd indulge before being dragged off to work on another project. You're pretty sure Izuku never used any other equipment unless you helped make it.
You liked watching him grow stronger. He always worked out and was looking more and more like a Pro. You never acted on your crush as you knew he had a big role to fulfill.
You didn't wish to be in the way.
Izuku, however, had similar feelings. He wanted to be closer to you. He wanted to date you. Yet work often got in the way, leaving him unable to.
Even he could tell your crush was huge, though.
Izuku couldn't help but be infatuated with you. He often tried to visit your department or meet you at lunch. Although, your departments often had different schedules.
Instead Izuku resorted to... unsavory means of fulfilling his own crush. He noted down things he liked about you and what you did that day in a notebook dedicated to you. He even asked friends you had about you and how you were doing. He couldn't help but follow you as though he really was part of your life.
Izuku kept every piece of equipment you made for him. Every prototype, every version, he collected them. Safe to say your crush was mutual... but he was a worse lovesick fool.
Even once graduation rolled around you were surprised to see him on TV. Your blush only darkens when you watch the TV in your apartment, seeing how Izuku went from that small kid you used to know to a hulking Pro Hero that everyone adored on TV.
You couldn't help but grin when you noticed the outfit he begged you to make. The one with the cape and everything. Your crush felt unrelenting when it came to him.
It only seemed to get worse when you were both adults... for him.
You two drifted apart when you graduated from U.A. He focused on his Hero work and you focused on making better equipment. It was never just for him anymore.
You had other heroes to work with for equipment and your crush simmered down eventually. Now you primarily focused on your job and being paid. You still found yourself fawning over Izuku occasionally, but that was it.
Izuku, however, had only gotten worse since the last time you saw him....
You weren't sure what to think when Izuku started showing up at your lab. You had been tinkering on some new tech, only for one of your fellow engineers to squeal at you about how Deku was here. Were you hearing that right...?
You didn't have much time to question it when Izuku came into the room, eyes sparkling when he saw you and came over. The blush was back. Yet you couldn't believe he came over to see you.
This became a common occurrence. Even when he didn't have orders in, he'd stay by you to ask about your equipment and day. You didn't mind it.
In fact, you didn't mind it even more when he asked you to join him on little outings. You kept telling yourself it wasn't a date. Although, Izuku kept telling himself it was.
You had no idea he was that delusional... that your crush was downright crazy...
Until a villain had attacked your lab and Izuku was quick to respond.
By the time you woke up you saw Izuku by your side, features morphed into worry as he sat beside you. You were on a bed that wasn't your own. It took you a while to realize this might be his house.
According to him, he had been concerned for you when he saw you collapsed on the ground in your lap. So, in order to keep you hidden, he took you to his home. Too caught up in your haze of emotions... you accept it.
Only to slowly realize... Izuku may not be planning to let you go.
As time goes on you wonder if he planned this out. Perhaps Izuku wasn't the person you thought he was. He seems so... different.
You began to realize this when you got into an argument with the Pro Hero about leaving. It was after this your crush began to be replaced with concern and resentment. You needed to leave and get back to work.
But Izuku merely blocked you off with his built body, his green eyes glaring down.
"And let you go back to that apartment? You deserve so much better than that.... Come on, you can stay here with me! I'll take good care of you...."
The offer normally would've made your heart throb...
But now it was just... sinister.
It only got worse when Izuku preyed on your past crush on him. He'd manipulate you into staying in his home by flirting or telling you he's scared you'll get attacked again for a couple days. You try to put your foot down...
Only for him to drop a bomb on you.
"I know you love me... So won't you let me love you too?"
You realize that Izuku took you in not because he was concerned... he had darker intentions. Expertly the hero managed to manipulate you into his home. He kidnapped you and you didn't know.
Your old feelings were quickly smothered when Izuku began to treat you like a child. He gave you your own room and when you fought he'd just send you there. You were no child to be taken care of.
Which lead to your escape attempts.
They were never all that successful. Soon you learned Izuku had announced you were "dating" to the press. He often came up with excuses when he had to pick you up and carry you off like some misbehaving toddler. It was all over the news.
He never liked physical punishment all that much... but he locks you away again.
He often scolds you like you know no better. He tells you to sit in your room or make it up to him. It's cruel and degrading... but he plays it off as care.
"Escaping again? You should know better than that, baby... So mean to your boyfriend who's trying to care for you...!" Izuku would scold, yet his tone always playful.
You don't find it funny.
Ever since he kept you in his home, your crush had finally been smothered. You weren't in love anymore. No, instead you were scared.
You were scared to know your age-old crush was not the man you thought he was.
Your crush had faltered long ago... yet your fight was also leaving too. Izuku always managed to find you and drag you back. He never harmed you luckily, just squeezing you close to his chest as he whispers soft words to you.
Younger you would've loved this. You would've fantasized about it. Yet now it's a nightmare....
The doors are locked, the windows are shut tight, and your only companion is Deku. Izuku's face always looks so flushed when he sees you. You're his one and only...
Forever and ever in his eyes.
"Don't you love me too?" He asks you. Whenever you said 'No' he would just get more persistent. He never left you alone until you admitted you loved him.
You wonder if this was what you wanted. Didn't you always want him to love you? He loves you now, doesn't he?
Yet you crave freedom much more than the suffocating grip of his arms.
"I love you, baby..." He murmurs when he cuddles into you, his arms restraints in the cage you call a 'home' now. There's no escape, even if you wanted to. Your heart aches, conflicted.
"Love you..." You murmur, as though it was a trained phrase. Izuku grins, holding you tighter to kiss your soft lips.
"Mmm... Mine~" He purrs against your mouth as though he's been waiting for this moment. Perhaps he was... maybe even longer than you have.
The kiss he gives you doesn't even feel how you imagined it to be...
It's needy and possessive... a reminder of what you are to him.
His.
52 notes · View notes
vintagenahbi · 3 days
Text
Caught Up
Suga x V x Reader- Part 1.
Summary: You are caught up in a love triangle between Suga and V, causing you to be torn on who is right for you after an unexpected pregnancy.
Work Count: 4k
Tumblr media
I can’t explain how I was feeling in this moment. I don’t even know how I got in this situation. All I knew was that Min Yoongi was sitting in front of me. Not Suga, not Agust D- Yoongi. I had known him as many things, but rarely had I gotten to see him as Min Yoongi. It was nice seeing this version of him. He was no longer a platonic friend that I had to pretend I didn’t like. Instead, he was a man I shared stolen glances with, inside jokes, and those sweet moments no words could describe. A gentle touch of the hand. Grabbing my waist to move me to the other side. Fixing a single strand of my hair.
Even after all of this, I still wasn’t sure where I stood in his life. We weren’t dating, but we weren’t not dating. It was more like a secret affair that must never be acknowledged out loud.
Now I am here in his home, eating a meal he fixed for the both of us. I picked around at my bowl and watched him slurp down his ramen. He was in his own world. Nothing ever seemed to get to him for the most part. I loved that about him, but every ounce of me wished he would open up more. Don’t get me wrong, we talked and had long conversations at night, but I still yearned to know what we were. What I am to him.
Did he want to get married? Did he want to have kids? Did he even like me enough for me to be in his life long term? So many questions I may never know the answers to.
“What’s on your mind?” I heard Yoongi say quietly. I looked at him for a split second and took a bite of my food.
“What are we? Like, what is this between us?” Yoongi stopped eating and leaned back in his seat. He started to chuckle. I kept a serious face. I couldn’t cave and pretend like I was playing around to brush off my embarrassment. He knew this. He knew I wanted him. Not in a desperate pick me way, rather in a way that longed to have a glimpse in his mind and heart.
“We are…” He trailed along with the thought “Honestly, I don’t know what we are.” Those words shook me deeply. It was like a paper cut to the heart. Not enough to do damage, but to be felt. I slid my chair out from beneath me and stood up in one swift movement. I headed towards the bedroom and closed the door quietly. Was it dramatic- yes, but I needed space to think.
We hung out during covid. I stayed with him. We got close. We slept with each other. He trusted me to hang out with the guys. Why is he being this way? Was I wrong to believe that he felt something for me?
The door slowly cracked open. Yoongi peaked his head through. He walked in and started dancing as if he was trying to distract me. I was confused and then that gummy grin started to creep up. I couldn’t help to smile. He continued to dance towards me and grabbed my hand with his beautiful hands. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I placed a gentle kiss on his lips causing him to smile even more.
“We are this.” I was once again reminded that he didn’t know what we were. Platonic.
“Yoongi, I like this but I want more than friends with benefits.” Yoongi looked at me raising his eyebrows. I knew what I said was wrong; however, I had every right to feel like I was being toyed with.
He let go of my waist and sat on the bed. I could not tell if he was angry or disappointed. He wiped his head and adjusted his oversized t-shirt. I was fearful to know what was going to happen next. If this was going to be our first argument I was going to prove my point. I was stubborn and willing to show it in this moment.
“Y/N I love you.” My jaw dropped. My heart nearly pounding out of my chest. “But I’m not ready. Not right now. I’m going on my D-Day tour and I want to be able to fully be here for you.” The amount of disappointment leaving my body was indescribable. I wanted to do nothing more than to cry. Curl up in a ball and pretend I didn’t hear him. I held back every tear, clearing my throat to try to keep my composure.
“So, after the tour we can make something out of this?” He fell silent. I looked him in the eyes and he shrugged his shoulders. I knew exactly what that meant. He was unsure of us. He was unsure of me and my ability to be what he needed. My insecurities were starting to get to me. Every thought pointing to what was wrong with me. “Was it something I did? I don’t understand. What we have is something real. I opened up to you, you opened up to me. I know I don’t know everything but what I felt was real. This is real.” I chocked up. Barely able to catch my breath.
Yoongi stood up and hugged me. His scent lingered across my nostrils. The scent that I loved the moment his skin pressed against mine. I was angry- weak. I wanted to shove him away. Maybe he was scared to put his heart out there. Maybe he was trying to keep me safe. I tear escaped my eyes. He pulled me away and wiped it.
“Y/N. I really do love you, but now I can’t.” I moved away from him and crawled into bed. “You aren’t going to finish your dinner?” I shook my head no. “I have a shoot tomorrow with the guys before the tour. You should come.” I nodded okay.
I stayed in bed for what seemed like hours before he came back into the room. I figured he was cleaning up or working. He slipped into the bed and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I turned over to face him. I stared into his eyes slowly caressing his cheek. He held my hand against his face. Not a word was said between us. It was as if we knew what the other was saying. Yoongi leaned over and kissed me. I was supposed to be angry but I couldn’t. Everything about him made my heart melt. His smile, his laugh, his style, how he could be shy, how you knew when he was angry, his seriousness.
I pulled away from him. He flashed that smile of his one last time.
“You should keep your black hair.” Was all I could manage to say. He mouthed okay and went back to kissing me. He lifted up my shirt and the rest was magic.
I woke up with my clothes thrown all over the bed. I got up quietly, shuffling to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped in. I let the water hit my back as I stood there thinking. The night before- the I love you. I didn’t even get to say it back. Yoongi knocked on the shower door to tell me he was in there. I heard him turn on the faucet. This was how it was going to be and I had to come to terms with it.
About three hours later we finally arrived at the photo shot. I stood behind the photographers and staff. Yoongi looked great during the rapline shot. I could tell he was in his element.
In the corner of my eye I could see Taehyung creeping up behind me. I started to smirk. Taehyung, in confidence, I can say was my equal. So much of him I saw in myself. We had a lot of similarities, but in all, I enjoyed his company. We could talk for hours on end about nothing. None of it ever felt forced. Two friends enjoying each other’s company.
“His tour is coming up soon?” He asked.
“Yeah. He leaves Thursday.” I watched Yoongi as he changed his pose. He glanced at me keeping a straight face. Not mad, just in his element.
“Are you going with him?” Taehyung snapped me out of my thoughts. I shook my head no and smiled. “I guess that means you’re stuck with me. What will you ever do?” He flashes his boxy smile. I playfully roll my eyes. I hear someone behind me clear their throat. It was Yoongi. I stood next to Taehyung as we both watched Yoongi walk past us.
“He told me he loved me last night.” I blurted out. Taehyung raised an eyebrow in disbelief. I knew I shouldn’t be telling him this. What happens between Yoongi and I, stays between Yoongi and I, but I trusted Taehyung. I knew he would keep what I said safe. He was gentle. Honest. He was himself with all of his emotions on his sleeve. “He also said now isn’t a good time. Even after the tour.” I looked away from him. Ashamed I could say it out loud. I heard Jin and Jimin laughing in the background. I turned around, then looked back at Taehyung. “You should probably get back.” I began to walk off until Taehyung grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.
“If you need anything I’m here for you.” I gave him a pitiful smirk. I continued to walk away until something caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see Yoongi drinking a battle of water staring at me. He saw it. He saw what had transpired. He glanced away from me to finish his water. Throwing the bottle in the recycling bin as he walked over to me. I stood there waiting like a deer in headlights.
“Yoongi.”
“We will talk at home.” I hate to admit it but he was more than the bad boy. He had emotions and one of those was jealousy. He would pretend like it didn’t get to him, but secretly he was more emotional than he liked to put on.
We rode back home in complete silence. Every part of me was torn. I loved and cared for Yoongi; however, it felt like in these moments we were worlds apart. I was a girl he met, who at one point knew what she wanted from a man. I knew that I wanted unconditional love from a man like Yoongi. I wasn’t here to save him. I was here to be his equal.
I looked over at him. He was staring ahead as the driver took us the long way. I glanced out the window watching the dew droplet roll down the sides. Yoongi placed his hand on my thigh. I looked back at him running my thumb against the back of his hand. We didn’t say a word.
Once we got home I slumped down on the couch. Yoongi walked over into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of soju. He sat on the floor across from me in front of the coffee table. He took a sip from his bottle and gently placed it back on the table letting out a deep sigh.
“You and Taehyung.” He said looking so deeply into my eyes that I could feel the chills run across my arm.
“He’s nice to talk to. We are good friends.” Taking another sip of his soju. I got up from the couch knowing I was not ready for the conversation to go any further. He was never an angry drunk. Actually, he opened up more and was bubbly. Sometimes he even got deep with his emotions, but stressed mixed with alcohol was never a good thing.
“Don’t leave. I want to know what that was about is all. It looked like more than two friends.”
“Yoongi, not now. I told you it is not like that.”
“No. Now Y/N, now.” He stood up. “I want to know. I told you I love you and then I see- see whatever that was.” Something in me flipped with those words. Everything that I had been holding back poured out.
“You love me? You said you didn’t want anything to do with me. Not sure if you want this. Yoongi, I love you. I want you. I’ve been here fighting for us. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life, but you are unsure of me. I don’t understand where this questioning is coming from when you’ve made it clear.”
“Made what clear?” I could tell he was genuinely confused.
“Made it clear that my place in your heart in for convince. You can’t stand here and say you love me but want nothing more than to keep me confused.” The tears started to form in his eyes. He walked up to me grabbing my hands, pressing them against his chest.
“I’m not ready yet, that is all. I don’t love you any less.” I snatched my hands away from him.
“You can’t say that. It feels like I’m existing in your life. I want more. Am I supposed to wait around until you are ready? I want someone who is ready with me now.” He took a step back.
“What does that mean? You want someone like Tae?” I was shocked by what he said. Why would he even bring him up?
“Taehyung has nothing to do with us. I want more out of us.”
“Well if I can’t give you what you want then why are you here? You can leave.” I stood there amazed. Not having a single reply. Only an empty reaction.
“Okay.” Was all I could muster up to say.
“There’s no point in this.”
“If that’s how you feel. I really do love you Yoongi.” I walked into the bedroom and grabbed my duffel bag from our the closet. I threw random items into it. I knew it was best for me to leave now before things got worse. Give him time to cool off and think.
Yoongi walked into the room. I already had the bag on my shoulder ready to leave. He lifted the bags weight off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground.
“After the tour, let’s see how to make this work. I can’t lose you Y/N, but I know I need to be in this fully. We aren’t dating now, but when I come back let’s work on us.” I started to cry. I picked my bag up from off the floor.
“I think I should still leave.” A stab to the heart. The look on his face crushed me. I knew I had to go for a bit. I felt like I was being dramatic, but when you love someone so deeply things change. I never knew I could fall for someone so hard. I didn’t want to go public, I just wanted him to acknowledge me in a way that felt important.
“Please. Stay.” He waited for me to respond. “Stay until I leave. After we will work on this. It gives us both time to decide what we want.”
I nodded my head yes. Ironically, in that moment all I wanted was to talk to Taehyung. Have someone to listen to me. Understand me in a way no one had before. Maybe it was a good thing to wait. Maybe. But as always inevitably one thing led to another between Yoongi and I that night. Sex was the one thing we could consistently agree upon.
The next morning was the big day. Yoongi was leaving for his D-Day tour and I was going to be stuck alone. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed quality time, but after the recent events of pouring my heart out to Yoongi and him asking me to wait- I wanted nothing more than to be in the company of myself.
I sat on the edge of the bed watching Yoongi zip up his last suitcase. He let out a long stream of air following a nearly silent deep sigh. He looked up at me and pressed his lips together giving me that legendary side smirk. He walked over to me a plopped himself next to me on the bed. He noticed my shirt was lifted slightly, pulling it down so I was fully covered. He did that often. I always assumed it was out of habit for having to uphold a certain standard as an idol. Another part of me saw it as a kind act because he liked protecting me, making sure I was okay.
He placed his hand on my thigh. I grabbed it and held it tightly looking him in the eyes. I tried to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. Only my mouth ajar as if I was lost for words. He patted my thigh several times as he got back up again. Not a single word was said between us. He got up and left.
Two days had passed. I tried to text Yoongi but the communication was already starting to be few and far between. I would text and not hear from him until three hours later. I couldn’t be mad at him because it was a time zone problem, but a part of me was not confident that was only reason. Maybe he was going this time to figure out what he wanted. Maybe he was trying to come up with ways to make this work, but whatever it was, I missed him. I missed hearing his voice, his excited spurts of energy, and I missed seeing him. Everything about him made me smile.
My phone started to vibrate against the coffee table. I picked it up completely ignoring who was calling and to my surprise it was Taehyung. Since Yoongi left I hadn’t spent that much time with anyone. I was going through a situationship heartbreak as one could say. Not wanting a single soul to see the amount of pain I was going through anytime soon.
“Y/N! You’re coming over tonight. I haven’t seen you in a while, plus I know you need to get out of the house.” Tae said. I rolled my eyes at the phone.
“I’m fine. I like being here. It’s just-“ I looked around the nearly staged looking house that felt like no one even lived there. “Fine, I’ll come over.” I said reluctantly.
“Great, I will see you soon.” Taehyung hung up before I could even say bye. I was looking forward to hanging out with him, but I knew it wasn’t the best idea. I liked Taehyung in ways that crossed the line of friendship. I thought he was attractive and I had a lot in common with him. He and Yoongi were different in so many ways. Yoongi is serious and liked the privacy of things. He is a sentimental guy who remembered every little detail. Taehyung is shy but has an outgoing side that is fun. He is kind and willing to tackle tough topics. Both different, yet they were both great.
I walked into my shared closet and noticed the places where Yoongi’s clothes were missing. I picked out a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Nothing special.
Once I arrived at Taehyung’s apartment, I sat on the couch as he shuffled around in his slippers darting from the kitchen to the living room, then back into the kitchen. I watched him like he was a mad man. Not even noticing my upturned eyebrows along with the concerned looked plastered on my face. Taehyung noticed and started laughing.
“I know that was kind of ridiculous but you’re my guess and I had to make sure you got your favorite juice.” He handed me a juice box. It indeed was my favorite. I started to blush from the fact that he remembered. Although it wasn’t hard to forget since I drank them for a week straight leading me to have to cut myself off. “Actually, all of them are for you.”
“Thank you, but I don’t plan on staying long.”
“Why not?” He looked puzzled, as if I had said a stream of cuss words that no man should have ever say out loud.
“No, it’s not like that. It’s just I don’t want to intrude you know.”
“Never.” He sat next to me and turned on the tv. I watched his every move. Noticing the smallest details about him. The hair on his arm, how he breathed, his eyes, those lips. I shook those thoughts out of my head. I loved Yoongi and I refused to be the one to leave him brokenhearted.
Taehyung and I watched tv that entire night. Laughing at the most random shows we could find. When he was flipping through the channels he came across The Return of Superman. I always imagined Yoongi and I being on that show. Well, more so him than me, but seeing him as a dad with our baby. Seeing him be a father to a boy or a girl.
“I can’t wait for this.” I heard Taehyung say. “I can’t wait to have a kid and start a family. I’ve always known I wanted to be a father. I love kids and want that special moment. Watching someone I love bring something that we created into this world.” After that last sentence he looked me dead in the eyes. I froze. He spoke with such passion. I felt every word that he was saying.
“I have to use the bathroom.” I got up and walked into the bathroom. I closed the door and pressed my back against the door. I have to get myself together. My mind has been all over the place since I got here. We are just two friends hanging out. Nothing less, nothing more. I walked out the bathroom and back into the living room. I saw him copying one of the kids who was doing sign language.
“You know sign language right Y/N?” I nodded my head yes. “Can you teach me a little.” I showed him some signs and had him copy me. He was doing well until we got to one sign. I grabbed his hand and repositioned his hands. He got it right and I smiled. We caught eyes for a moment. Taehyung grabbed my face and kissed me. I pulled away. He looked at me and simultaneously we both leaned back in. Kissing was as far as it went that night. I felt horrible but it felt amazing all at once.
The following day I lived at Taehyungs place. We took pictures upon pictures, listened to music, and enjoyed each others company. I nearly forgot about the problem between Yoongi and I until one night. Taehyung and I spent so much time with each other that something was bound to happen. We ended up sleeping with each other.
I regretted it immediately. I knew we were pushing it, but it happened. Without warning I had betrayed Yoongi’s trust, with the only option of Yoongi never finding out. I stopped hanging out with Tae as much, but texted nearly everyday. I knew he felt confused, but quickly became busy with work so we couldn’t hangout anyways. I loved Yoongi so much and still managed to hurt him during our time apart. Eventually, the communication between Yoongi and I got better and I nearly forget anything ever happened between Tae and I.
That was until a month later when I was sitting on the toilet with the positive pregnancy test in my hand. I had no idea who the father was. I slept with Yoongi and Tae within the same week. Any guess for how far along I was would not be helpful. I didn’t know who to tell or what to do. All I knew was I was pregnant and liked both men I had slept with.
30 notes · View notes
kaunis-sielu · 2 days
Text
Dangerous Places: 12
You and Steve go to his club, you know he’s powerful but the way that the room responds to him, even in a subtle way, is astonishing. You’ve got your hand threaded through his arm as you walk through the crowd. You’re not sure where he’s bringing you, as he leads you across the room then to some stairs.
“This is my private area, no one will bother you but they’ll all be able to see you. At least here, once you’re back on the couches no one can see you.” Steve tells you when you get to the top of the staircase. There are a couple of black leather couches and a low coffee table.
“Will you stay up here with me?”
“No. I have some business to attend to but I’ll have eyes on you constantly. I promise.” Steve presses a soft kiss to your temple and you cling to him. You know he can feel how you shake. “Are you low or scared?” He asks softly, gently cupping your chin to bring your gaze to his.
“Scared.”
“I wish I could tell you not to be. I do want you to know that as long as I’m breathing you won’t leave here with him.” That doesn’t exactly make you feel better.
“He’s here already.” You whisper, “I can feel his eyes.” You could always feel when he was watching you, before you knew what he was you’d delighted on the way his brown eyed gaze had followed your every move. Later it had only filled you with dread.
“I’m going to kiss you. I’m going to kiss you then I’m going to tell you I have some work to do and to have fun and then I’m going to leave. You’re going to nod and smile like you don’t have a care in the world. Can you do that for me Bunny?” You nod and he gives you a soft smile, “Good girl.” He murmurs before pressing a kiss to your lips.
“I have some work to do, have fun.” He says stepping away from you and you force a smile onto your face as you nod in agreement. Then with one last look at you Steve turns and makes his way down the stairs. Bucky joins him at the bottom and they walk away but you know there are still several pairs of eyes on you.
It’s been two hours, or it feels like it’s been two hours, time seems to be crawling. You’re leaning against the railing, looking over the crowd from the vip section.
“Well, hello Princess.” His voice is cold and terror causes you to freeze. Crossbones. “Nice to see you. Let’s go.” You can’t seem to move, but since you’re gripping the railing so tightly your fingers are white you know he won’t get you without a fight. He grabs your arm from behind you and pulls but you don’t let go of the railing. “Bitch let’s go.” He sneers pulling your fingers off the railing.
“No.”
“No? You’re mine. You belong to me.”
“No.” You repeat, “I’ll never belong to you again!” The skin graft has healed nicely, you still hate the spot but are grateful for Steve for helping you get rid of it. Crossbones wraps a hand around your throat and he pulls you close to him.
“You don’t get to say no to me.” He sneers, his face is full of rage and you’re so fucking scared that you don’t know how you’re still standing.
He lifts a hand to strike you and you close your eyes but the hit never comes.
“Bad move Crossbones.” Steve says lowly and you risk opening your eyes. Steve has a gun pressed to Crossbones head which is why the hit never game. He’s smart enough to know one wrong move will end his life. “Not only did you come into my establishment but you put your hands on my woman. Falcon, Winter, you know what to do.” You can see the rage behind Steve’s eyes,
“Your woman?” Crossbones snarls as Bucky and Sam each grab one of his arms and start to haul him away from you. “That bitch belongs to me.”
“See that’s where you’re wrong. If she was truly yours you’d have protected her. You’d have cherished her. If anyone had laid a single finger on her you’d have made them feel the pain that they made her feel, then some. So no, she was never your woman. Every beating you gave her you’ll get. I should brand you like you did her.” Crossbones actually looks scared for a moment, you see fear flit across his face as Steve crosses to you and puts a hand on your lower back.
“What do you want me to do Bunny?” He asks, “I could make him feel your pain, over and over again. Like he did to you. Or I can end this.”
“I want it done Steve.” You whisper, you know what you’re giving him permission to do but you can’t think about it.
“You heard her boys.” Steve says and Sam and Bucky drag a fighting Crossbones away.
You turn and bury your face in Steve’s chest as his arms curl around you. You’re free. The moment that Crossbones stops breathing you’ll be free.
“Do you, do you have to do it yourself?” You ask softly and Steve hums.
“I should.”
“Then let’s go so you can get it over with. I won’t believe I’m free until it’s done.” You tell him and Steve presses another soft kiss to the side of your head.
“Okay Bunny.” He takes your hand and the two of you leave. You go back to his condo where he leaves you with a kiss on the back of your hand.
You shower, leave the tracker on the counter in the bathroom and change back into the clothes you wore to his office. How was that only last night?
When Steve comes back you’re sitting on the couch, curled over with your elbows resting on your knees and your head in your hands. He’s said that he’s going to let you go but you’ll just have to wait and see. You’ll be able to actually live now, use your real name and do what you wanted to.
“I’m gonna shower real quick Bunny.” He says when you stand from the couch. “Then we can talk.” You nod your head and sink back down onto the couch.
After his shower Steve comes back and sits on the couch next to you.
“It’s over.”
“Thank god.” You breathe dropping your head into your hands. It’s over. You’re finally free.
“I’d like to date you Bunny.” He says, “you’ve gotten under my skin and I need ya like I need air.” You stare at him before you answer, he’s not going to let you go. You knew it. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go. “I won’t force you Bunny but I needed you to know.”
“Oh.” You tell him, and while you know that he’d never hurt you, you know in your soul that he’d never hurt you, you’re still scared.
“Can I take you out?” He asks and you take a deep breath. He’s handsome, and has been kind and protected you. But you don’t want to be in this life anymore, and you don’t know if you like him because of Stockholm syndrome or if you actually like him.
“Do you wanna think about it?” He asks and you shake your head.
“No.”
“No you don’t wanna think about it or no I can’t take you out?”
“Both.” You tell him your gaze on the floor.
“Oh.” He sounds disappointed and your heart nearly breaks, “okay. Why don’t I have Bucky take you back to your apartment?”
“Thank you.” You say so softly you’re not sure he hears you. But Steve gently takes your hand, giving your hand a squeeze and you look up at him.
“I wouldn’t change a moment Bunny.” He says softly, “if you ever need anything you reach out okay?” You nod then he presses a kiss to the back of your hand then he stands and leaves the room.
You’re free.
Tag list:
@andahugaroundtheneck @connie326 @also-fangirlinsweden @lumar014 @loving-life-my-way @pagina16ps @emdying @dumblani @valsworldofcreativity @blackwidownat2814 @vicmc624 @abschaffer2 @patzammit @inkedaztec @sophham
30 notes · View notes
otomehonyaku · 2 days
Text
Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 7 Ruki ☽ SKiT Dolce・Rejet Shop Tokuten Drama CD ☽ Absurd Lesson ♪
Tumblr media
Original title: 理不尽レッスン♪ English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio. CD owned by me.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
I reached 1000 followers last week, so here’s a special treat: one of Ruki’s Daylight tokuten CDs, plus a translation which you can read below the cut╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ This was yet another short but sweet one with a surprisingly wholesome message. I hope you enjoy!
Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
00:00 Hey. Have you finally finished getting ready?
[You apologise for taking so long.]
Heh. It’s alright. We still have some time before we have to go to class.
Besides, Kou and the others are still busy preparing.
Have a seat, too. It seems like it’ll take a while longer.
[You sit down.]
I thought I’d prepare tea, so I boiled some water. Would you like some?
[You suggest getting the tea for him.]
No, I’ll pour it for you. I have only just cleaned the kitchen, after all. I would like to have it as tidy as possible before we leave.
[Ruki walks to the counter.]
Come to think of it, they’re being so rowdy that we can hear them all the way from here. Are they bickering again? Kou and Yuma tend to fight over who gets to use the bathroom first, right?
[You confirm his suspicions.]
Hm. So they were, even though that only chips away at the time they actually get to use the bathroom to begin with… 
They never learn, do they?
[Ruki pours the tea.]
Every time we wait for them to get ready, we head out late.
[Ruki brings the tea to you.]
Here’s yours. Be careful not to burn yourself.
We should be able to head out by the time we finish drinking the tea.
[You compliment him on his time management.]
You know I always like to have ample time before going out.
[You tell him that he’s much quicker than you are.]
It’s not as if I’m particularly quick to get ready. The four of you are slow. You always take way too long, even though your routine is the same every day. It’s only school. There is no need for such lengthy preparations.
[You tell Ruki he does much more before class than you do.]
Well, that’s true. I have many things to do, but none of them are major tasks. When you make a habit out of cooking and cleaning, you get the hang of it quickly, and it all goes smoothly before you know it. Even if I actually were to be burdened with more tasks, I would still be done before you guys.
[You ask him why he thinks that.]
It must be because I’m skilled in time management. I plan out all of my tasks for the day in advance. What I am trying to say is: you simply have to calculate the amount of time you need for each of these tasks.
[You tell him you wish you were more like him in that regard.]
Like me, you say?  Well, alright. I will do you a favour and teach you some of the tools of the trade.
[You ask him if that’s alright with him.]
Yes. If you learn to divide your time more effectively, you will have more time to help me out with running the household, right? If we can successfully distribute the household chores, we will both have more free time. I see no disadvantages.
[You tell him you will work hard.]
03:50 That’s the spirit. I wish Kou and the others would follow your example. If you help me out with the chores, I might have some time left to prepare a dessert for you.
[You’re happy about that.]
Heh, you silly girl.  You are much too happy about such trivial things. However, if you are a good student and learn how to manage your time more effectively, I will make whatever you request. Would you like blancmange, panna cotta, or rather pudding?  These are fairly straight-forward desserts, so I could easily make them for you. After all, it’s my job as your master to discipline you. 
[You get flustered.]
You look like your mind is wandering.  I always intend to discipline you thoroughly, but no matter how much time passes, your reaction is always the same. I thought you would have gotten used to it by now, but…
[His remark makes you a little shy.]
You are truly hopeless. Well, all the more reason for me to discipline you. Anyway, we have limited time before we have to go to class, so I should quit the teasing for now. Seeing you so flustered only makes me want to tease you all the more, though.  That’s no good, is it?
[You make a face.]
What, does that displease you? The face you were making earlier told me otherwise. If you want, we could continue this after class. You like it better when I take my sweet time to torment you, right? 
[You keep your mouth shut.]
I will take your silence as a yes.  Well, fine by me. Your face is like an open book, anyway.
06:28 Well, then, it is my duty as your master to teach you what I know. I will explain things in a clear order that will be easy for you to understand, so listen carefully.
[You respond enthusiastically.]
Heh. That’s what I wanted to hear. Let’s start with time management, then. You know most of the things you need to do in a day, right? You must have daily habits and other recurring tasks. You have to fit these tasks together like a puzzle and think about which ones you can carry out at the same time.
[You ask him what he means.]
Right…  For example, I do the dishes while I’m cooking, or I make a side dish(1) while I’m heating up soup. I actively try to perform tasks at the same time whenever possible. What’s important is to not waste time.
[You ask him to elaborate.]
07:07 Well, if you act without using your head, you tend to waste time much more easily. You should make a habit out of acting with intention. If you do that, you will be able to divide your time more effectively in general, not just when getting ready to go out.
[You tell him that Ruki is much better at it than you are.]
It’s not as if I do anything difficult in particular. You can do it too. It just takes practice. First, tell me the things you need to do in a day.
[You tell him.]
Hm. Washing your face and brushing your teeth are things you should do at the sink. It is best to do the various things you need to do in a given place all in succession. Moving from room to room to do something is a good example of wasting time. Are there other things you do near the sink?
[You tell him.]
08:05 I didn’t expect you to have so much to do. So, hair styling and skincare—they each have an order to them too, right? Try to think of whether there are any unnecessary steps in these actions.
[You start listing the steps in your hair care routine, but…]
Wait. You do all that just for your regular hairstyle? I can understand combing your hair, but is applying hair oil and using a hair curler really necessary?
[You nod.]
I see. If you say it’s necessary, then it must be. Looking after your appearance is not a bad thing, after all. But if your hair styling alone consists of so many steps, your skincare routine must have even more.
[You start to tell him, but…]
09:04 No, I’ve heard enough. I understand very well that you need to do many things in order to get ready. Are there any steps in your hair styling and skincare that you could perform at the same time?
[You’re unsure.]
I see.  If that’s the case, then you should try looking to improve elsewhere. But even then…
[You ask him whether something’s wrong.]
No, I’m actually kind of impressed. There is much more to your morning routine than I thought. I knew women always took some time to get ready in the morning, but I did not expect this. As a man, it barely takes any time. To do all of these additional things must take considerable effort. You do all of these steps every day, right?
[You nod.]
I see. That is quite admirable.
[You’re surprised.]
Why are you so surprised?
[You tell him it’s because of his compliment.]
Is it that unusual for me to praise you? As your master, I assumed it was only natural to reward you when you deserve praise, but… It must not have been enough for you. If you wish, I could give you a more obvious reward.
[You get flustered again.]
10:38 Heh. Your cheeks are red.  What did you imagine just now? I figured that it would suffice to pet your head or pamper you from time to time, but to you, that is only a half-hearted reward, isn’t it?
[You deny it.]
Heh. If you shake your head so vigorously, the hairstyle you spent so much time on will go to waste. After all, considering all the time and effort you put into your hair, I should refrain from petting your head, too. I should think of other methods to reward you.
[You’re a little disappointed.]
Heh. No need to be so sad.  I did not say I would never touch you again. I should merely touch you carefully so as to not ruin your hair and makeup.  Besides, we’re only talking about before you get ready, right? When we’re at home, it doesn’t matter how messed up your hair gets…
[Ruki holds you close.]
Next time I reward you, I am sure it will be to your liking. Look forward to it. And from now on, I will factor in the time you need to get ready when we make plans to head out together. Because thanks to you, I fully understand how much effort women put into their appearance.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
1. Honestly I just wrote ‘side dish’ here because I could not decipher for the life of me what word he used instead lol
36 notes · View notes
welldonebeca · 24 hours
Text
Conveniência (1)
Summary: On a twist of events and to the ton's most delightful surprise, Miss Penelope Featherington marries Lord Debling. Warnings: Canon divergence, romantic slow burn, tension, fluff. Eventual smut. Portia Featherington being herself.
Tumblr media
Penelope wondered how much of what she was feeling now was like other brides felt on the day of their weddings.
Mama was elated, smiling for the whole family, nearly jumping up and down from all her excitement. Prudence and Philippa were with child, and now Penelope was a moment away from becoming Lady Debling. She had succeeded in her wishes.
Lord Debling – Alfred – had proposed in a beautiful way. When they went for a garden stroll with her mother, her sisters and their husbands, he had led her to a long wall of flowers. There, he knelt and gazed into her eyes with such intensity that Penelope almost forgot the practical foundations of their union. He needed a wife; she needed a husband. They enjoyed each other's company and understood their marriage would be practical, not romantic.
So she said yes.
Her room was empty now, everything – every little thing she owed, including her Whistledown things – was off to her new home.
All that remained was what she was wearing now.
“Penelope,” Mama spoke, opening her door. “Before we go, a word?”
Rae stepped back and away from her, just done with her hair.
“In private,” mama added.
Rae was joining her new household – Penelope trusted her too much and enjoyed her too much to let Mama keep her.
She stood up as her maid left, and remained stiff as Mama came to her and took her hand.
Was anything wrong?
“Look at you,” she exhaled. “Lady Debling in just a few moments.”
Penelope nodded slowly.
Lady Debling. Yes.
“I wanted to talk to you about what is to happen tonight.”
She stiffened up.
Oh.
When Marina was with them, they’d talked about some of what happened to land her with a child in her belly, but nothing specific – just cake and love.
"Do you remember," Mama spoke slowly, "when we visited a farm?"
Penelope frowned. A farm?
"I’ve never been to a farm, Mama," she corrected her.
Mama paused, shaking her head.
"Oh, that was Prudence," she realised.
She kept staring at her mother. Well?
"A man… has an appendage," Mama began, not meeting her eyes. "And in order to… fertilise your womb, he must… deposit his… seed… in it. Many times, as many as he possibly can.”
Penelope blinked, shocked.
Fertilise? Seed?
Were they talking about marriage or gardening?!
“And it will probably begin uncomfortably for you,” she continued. “If your husband is kind and attentive, and I’m certain he will be, you will feel no more than… a pinch.”
“A pinch,” she parroted.
“Inside,” Mama added.
“Inside?!”
Inside what?!
But Mama rolled her eyes.
“Stop that,” she interrupted her. “He’ll know what to do, just make sure he doesn’t keep his breeches on.”
Penelope held back the instinct to parrot it—his breeches? He was going to take off his breeches? Why on earth would he need to take off his breeches?
Well, if a child came from love, then she was at a disadvantage. Penelope didn’t love Lord Debling – she loved Colin.
Even if she tried to hide it, even if it hurt her, even if it was impossible and something she was running away from and was going to end - because she was not going to feed that stupid feeling any longer - she loved Colin.
“Marina said babies were made with love,” she mumbled.
She had no one else to ask, no one else would tell her!
It’d have to be Mama.
The look her mother gave her was pitiful.
“Miss Thompson was very naive,” Mama told her. “Babies are made and raised with effort. I didn’t start loving your father, but he gave me the greatest gifts I could have ever been gifted, in you three.”
She moved to Penelope slowly, and took her hand again.
“You will love so many things,” she affirmed. “Your days will be filled with delight. Sometimes your husband will be a part of them, and other times, he won’t. But you’ll only find out once you’re married to him. Which is why we should go now, or they’ll think we’re stalling.”
She just nodded, walking out with her.
They entered the carriage very quietly, just the two of them now. It looked very nice, adorned with white ribbons and flowers, very bridal-like. The ride to the church seemed to both drag on and fly by in a blur and before she even knew it, they were arriving at the church.
She was walking in on her own, without Mama. Her mother was a bit too happy to walk down before her, in her new dress and her flowers, her maid of honour.
It wasn’t like she could ask Eloise to be so.
From the room she was placed in, Penelope could see some of the guests. Mrs Bridgerton had arrived with Benedict, Daphne, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth, but Colin was nowhere in sight - nor did Eloise.
It was probably for the best that he wasn’t there. His absence would make it hurt a little less. 
Penelope blinked her tears away as Mama stepped off, the room quieting down.
She adjusted her veil with Rae’s help as the doors came to a close again, and positioned herself by it.
They waited for her to confirm she was ready to come in, and for a moment, she contemplated just… not going. Not stepping in, not…
Not marrying Alfred.
She longed for the moment Colin would run in and tell her not to do it, to ask her to marry him instead.
But every second passed, every heartbeat of her own she heard, was proof he wasn’t going to do it – he hadn’t done it when he had the time, why would he do it now?
“Miss?” someone called.
Penelope opened her eyes to see the guards at the door looking at her expectantly.
Oh.
She had to move.
“I was saying a prayer,” she lied.
Penelope took in one last breath. No turning back now.
She nodded to them.
The church was filled with the soft murmur of guests when they all stood and turned to look at her as she made her entrance. The aisle stretched on forever, each step of hers adding another four to go as her future husband slowly turned in her direction to look at her face. The ton and her family were watching her, all looking surprised to be witnessing such a moment of hers.
And there, at the end of the aisle, stood Alfred. He looked handsome in his formal attire, peaceful like no one else, and he even smiled when he saw her face – an expression she returned as best as she could, squeezing his hand when he took hers.
The ceremony itself was a blur. They exchanged vows, slipped rings onto each other’s fingers, and made promises… her voice only trembled a little bit when she said her vows, and he seemed happy to hear them.
She supposed it was a mix of reasons – some that in theory made her happy too. He had someone he could trust now, and the promise of things he could only achieve with marriage. His estate was cared for, and if their three-month honeymoon went how honeymoons were meant to go, then he would have a child to carry his name and she would have something to do in his absence.
Probably more as well. She imagined he would want to have a second once he came back from his excursion.
She managed a smile when it was over, before they turned to face their family and friends, resting her hand on his arm and tightening it for safety.
That was it, it was done. They were married.
You can also read this on Archive of Our Own.
20 notes · View notes
echo-s-land · 1 month
Text
It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
7 notes · View notes
unlimitedgolden · 3 months
Text
so its not a secret im in hospital obviously for my chronic illness that started up yet again. what probably is a secret is I've not really been happy with the lack of art I've been producing because of it. There was one piece I made in mspaint at the start of the year, but if you don't count that I haven't really draw consistently in months. since last year!! and mspaint has been my saving grace really.
I know on twitter a while back artists were getting.... doxxed? for posting mspaint artwork. my only comment is that it's really pathetic you're jealous an artist can use that program in such a way as if it's "bad". In reality once you grasp how to manipulate the brushes in a program, any program can be good. Some might have better features than others but only you yourself are limiting what you make. Doxxing another artist out of jealousy isn't going to make you better at mspaint, in fact you just look like a chump.
anyway. since I found it difficult to stick to my screen tablet for CSP i found "downgrading" to my old 2015 wacom which is held with tinfoil and tape is my saviour. and since I'm on a different laptop that only has mspaint and the new paint as art programs (or wigglypaint too technically) you really gotta adapt.
Anyway, i love mspaint. it's funny to find the drawings i made when i was a child and think "wow, look how far I've come" instead of the usual sobbing about the loss of my artist skill (especially since it's all i feel i'm good for on this earth)
okay, love you all. take care. play in mspaint to your hears content
8 notes · View notes
kimtaegis · 2 years
Text
finished about 80% of a comp of this run bts special but you know what. no lol
#I’m so full of rage tonight I could really feel it build up over the last few hours#triggered by this – forgive my language – stupid ass fandom#the love I have for those boys is really being tested over and over again#and I don’t know how much longer it’ll hold against the absolute stupidity of a (way too) big part of this fandom#the utter bullshit I have to read makes me want to constantly bang my head against a wall#maybe then I’d be able to nod along and still have a good time#cause boy that has been tough#from hating on every other group over harassing people who dare to say one critical thing about bts to wanting#to ‘boycott’ sk because of the enlistment news#are you actually hearing yourself?#like who do you think you are?#this superiority complex mixed with that utter hate and negativity many armys spread makes me SICK#do you think bts would be proud of you for looking down and hating on everybody#for only supoorting their country and its industry#not because you genuinely like/ enjoy it but because you follow them like cult members that tell you what to do?#for turning them into these untouchable beings that are only allowed to like each other and everyone else is below their standard#and shouldn't even dare come near them. what a lonely life you wish these men istg#suddenly you're all spokespersons for grown adults you don't know shit about#or you're playing polticians who know excatly what's going on behind the scenes cause you read a tweet about it#I genuinely wonder how these people go through their life? are you defending your actual loved ones like that too?#are you capable of not throwing a fit when someone else has a different opinion than you or criticises you. actually YOU. not some band?#how can one abandon every bit of critical thinking like that? I just don't get it#what's wrong with just being sad about them leaving for a while#WITHOUT being the most ignorant arrogant hateful assholes#never in my life have I encountered this much spite and toxicity#just...chill. just listen to their music make cute edits watch their videos but please for the love of god. just shut up for once#I could go on and on but. also no#could already kick myself for even being this affected that I had to write it down#contributing to this senseless discourse and putting my own negativity out there#I feel at least a little bit lighter now
34 notes · View notes
lesbian-space-fish · 2 years
Text
.
3 notes · View notes
Honestly, I think from the moment that Percy found out that not every demigod has a loving mortal parent they can depend on, when they already can't depend on the gods, and that Annabeth specifically, hasn't had anyone take care of her like that since she was 7, he decided he would be the one to.
They take care of each other up to that point, but I think that's when he starts noticing how much she takes care of them. She already knew if she didn't no one else will. She protects them against humans, she stands with them against monsters, she always brings up the rear of the group when they're running, and she is always the first one to make a move when they're fighting. She does it because no one is going to protect her if she doesn't do it herself. No one is going to protect Grover and Percy if she isn't.
In the arch, he pretty much tells her he would fight the gods for her, and then he goes on to do just that.
Athena, the one person who was supposed to protect her willingly pushes monsters her way, she lets Echidna and the chimera into a place that was supposed to be safe. Her decision is that Annabeth should be punished, and say what you want, but I think she knew that Annabeth would think through every scenario and know that someone had to stay and hold them back. And I think she knew that Annabeth would be the one to stay. Because that's the way she raised her, knowing that no one cared whether she lived or died. And I think that's the cruellest part.
Which is why Percy's sacrifice means so much more. He not only made the decision to trade his life for hers and fight the monster so she and Grover could escape, but he also made the conscious choice to push back against Athena's wishes. He fought a goddess for her, Athena said "Annabeth will die for her impertinence" and Percy said "Not today, not ever"
8K notes · View notes
nezuscribe · 8 months
Text
𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?
warnings: 18+ mdni, arranged marriage, misunderstandings and just not talking shit out, mentions of cheating, slight angst (with comfort), eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, gojo doesn't really know how to husband for some of it
word count: 10.9K (whoops)
note: part two is up! i really had a lot of fun writing this so reblogs and comments are always appreciated! as always, thank you to @jadeisthirsting for beta reading <3
jjk masterlist
Tumblr media
never did you think that you’d be stuck in a marriage to a man who didn’t love you, but there’s a first for everything. 
you should count yourself lucky that he’s not old and bald. he’s pretty. in fact, he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. his eyes are the bluest, bluer than the sky. his hair mirrors the winter snows, and his back ripples with muscles whenever he fights. 
his agility is unlike any other man. he fights swiftly and cleanly, never taking more than a couple minutes to get rid of whatever it was that stood in his way. he’s charming with his words (or so you’ve heard), and he knows how to make somebody swoon if he really wants them to. 
and he seems to despise you.
you had known gojo since you were a child, the two of you running around each other's fields as you chased him with your wooden sword. you remembered watching him in training, wishing him good luck whenever he went on a hunt. you could even remember how he would stutter whenever he tried to talk, something he must have worked on because he never seemed to stutter anymore. 
he was always nice to you, his cheeks rosy whenever you kissed him goodbye. he was kind back then, grinning brightly whenever he saw you. 
but as time grew and you with it, and it was only a matter of years before the two of you went your separate ways. it didn’t help that once he turned thirteen he had to leave for training and fighting in whatever it was that was needed of him, but you had hoped that he would be able to write back. 
you would send him letters whenever you could, it was tradition whenever the two of you were separated for too long to do so. each letter telling him about new experiences and embarrassing things that happened in your life, but he never responded. you liked to send one every week, sometimes including little tokens you thought he might enjoy. but you stopped sending them after the first two years and stopped asking about his whereabouts after three. 
but you were hopeful that when you saw him that night so many months ago, he’d be civil with you. you were nervous, sure, but who could blame you? you had recently gotten news that his time to serve his clan was over and that he was finally back home. it wasn’t as though the two of you had left on bad graces, so you were hopeful that he would at least remember you. but he could barely meet your eyes whenever you tried to catch him from across the room, acting as if you had never existed. 
he looked so different since the last time you had seen him. he was taller than most of the people in the room, his white hair just as bright as it used to be. he had gained muscle mass almost everywhere, and you felt yourself wondering just how much training he had to go through to look this way. you could see him talking to a girl, a smile on his face as he tilted his head to look at her better. you gave him some time to socialize, not wanting to intrude on anything. 
after an hour you decided that it was long enough, and tried to weave your way through the crowd to get to him. you had tried to call out to him, waving to him despite your mother quickly shoving your hand down, saying how improper it was. he heard you and you knew that he was purposely ignoring you, so you began to feel heavy-hearted after a couple of attempts at trying to catch his attention, eventually giving up. 
and now, despite you wanting to, you can’t even blame him for hating you. 
ever since your mother caught you, alone with him, a man you hadn’t seen in so long, she had swiftly and promptly proposed the idea of marriage only a few days later. it was really to save face for the two families, but it helped that this marriage would unify the two clans. 
you were sure he had ladies lined up to marry him, and you weren’t somebody he was actively trying to pursue. you didn’t even know if he was in love with somebody else if he shared a connection with a girl who was surely not you and cursed you for taking that away from him. 
not that it mattered now. 
all you wanted was to reconcile, to catch up on all the things happening in your lives. you wanted to hear all the stories he must have racked up over the years, not for this to happen. all the things he wanted for himself were ripped away because of one night from one simple act of kindness, and so you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him for the way he acted.
you rarely come down for dinner whenever he’s there, but when you do, you feel those eyes turn icy, tracking your every movement till you sit down opposite of him. he doesn’t say much, just mutters a quiet “good evening” and you’re sure he’s only doing it so the maids don’t start to gossip. 
whenever your hand brushes his you feel him snap back, flexing his hand as though your touch burned him. he rarely came by to ask you about how you felt, and so you stopped trying to act kindly towards him if he didn’t want anything to do with it.
any semblance of romance you had dreamed of as a young girl quickly dissipated when you realized your husband wanted nothing to do with you, so you didn’t try to pursue any sort of love, deciding it’d be easier if he just did his part and you did yours so the two clans wouldn’t worry. 
he was always gone, which might be the best for the two of you. when he’s not training new men then he’s gone in a hunt. if he’s not in a hunt then he’s somewhere in his endless home, hiding away. 
you don’t know if he does this for him, for your sake, or for everybody else. 
“did you see your husband this morning?” one of your maids said excitedly as she tugged the undergarments over your raised arm, a gleeful smile on her face as she rambled about something gojo had done. you couldn’t help but return a smile of your own, although it didn’t quite meet your eyes. 
“yes, briefly. he’s busy with having to worry about the feast,” which wasn’t a total lie. you’d seen him hurriedly brush past you, quickly glancing at you as if he had forgotten you were his wife. you felt your chest tighten up with the way he glanced at your hand, and then quickly left. 
it was only a few nights away and you knew that it was the only buzz of news anybody seemed to talk about. unfortunately, for you, it meant having to socialize with other clans. you were fine with that aspect, you’d been doing it since you were young, but this time they had a right to be nosey. you knew there would be endless questions asked about the honeymoon stage of your marriage, to which you had no answer. 
sure, you’d been making up answers to hypothetical questions, but you didn’t know what gojo would be answering with, so you were only praying some of your responses would line up. 
for a night the two of you would have to pretend to be husband and wife, and while the people around you knew you were anything, you knew you had to commit to the role for the sake of you and your family’s dignity. 
but all this worrying isn’t good for your head, you could already feel the pang as you squeezed your eyes to try and get rid of it. you tried to move on from your worries, going to comment on her necklace, it seemed new, but a knock interrupted you. the two of your heads popped up, looking at where the sound came from. 
“come in!” you called out, buttoning up the last bits of your top as you thanked myra. she nodded, bowing as she went to open the door. you could hear her faint footsteps, not bothering to look up as she greeted the person behind. you guessed it was franchesca coming with the fabric samples. 
“sir,” you heard myra say, and your head swirled around, only to see the topic of your conversation make his way into your room, excusing your maid with a swift motion of his hand. she glanced once at you and then to him, ducking her head as she left, closing the door behind her as she left you two alone. 
you felt heat prickle at the back of your neck as he looked at you and then to your room. the two of you slept separately, as per your request the first night. you couldn’t bear the agonizing silence between the two of you, and he obliged. 
he was dressed for sparring. he had a loose-fitting tunic on, and pants that would allow him to move freely and without constraint. it was in moments like these that you were reminded of the fact that gojo was the strongest warrior that any of the clans had seen, that the child who once splurged on sugar in his tea was capable (and has done so before) of taking down entire armies. 
he had matured so much since what you last remembered from him. he no longer acted rashly nor spoke without thinking about what it was he wanted to say. but you still saw him eating sweets with the same fervor he did as a kid, and it never failed to make you smile, hiding it behind your hand so nobody could hear your quiet giggle. 
it had been a while since it was just the two of you, alone, and all you could think about was that night. your cheeks heated up just thinking about it, and it seemed that gojo could tell your discomfort with the way he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he began to speak. 
“good morning,” he started, his eyes darting around, never setting on yours. it was funny if it didn’t cause your heart to hurt irrevocably, at how the strongest warrior in all the land could barely look at his wife. 
if only you knew.
“good morning.” you offered him a quick, disingenuous smile, moving around until you found your vanity, rummaging through your laid-out earrings as you kept your back to him, not trusting your face to give you away if you were to look at him for too long. 
you heard him take in an audible breath, but he continued whatever it was he wanted to say. 
“with the feast coming up, i want to clear some things with you,” you turned around, looping the earrings in as you nodded for him to continue. it was such a shame he was so stunning, effortlessly attractive as the sun caught off his cheekbones, bouncing off of his chest. he rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, and you wondered if being here was just as painfully awkward for him as it was for you. 
“we should act like we’re…” he trailed off and you felt yourself itching to leave, knowing what he meant without having to say it. 
“in love?” you finished and he slowly nodded, gnawing on his lip as you brushed past him, going to find the mirror so you could adjust your jewelry. you could see him fidgeting in the corner, and for once you could see a hint of nervousness and unease on his features. 
and a part of you hurt. you would never admit out loud that you harbored a crush on him for as long as you could remember. it hurt knowing that you acting like you were in love was perhaps the lost genuine form of love you could show. 
“what if they ask about the night we met?” you ask after a couple of seconds, looking up from what you were doing. deep down, you knew somebody was bound to ask. even if it was just your mother who had caught the two of you alone in that garden, the news of it somehow spread (she was always one to talk). 
he scratches his head, shrugging as he eventually settles on an idea.
“just tell them the truth.” 
the truth. 
tell them how he followed you after you had run outside, sick to your stomach after a man, who was as old as your father, had introduced himself as a possible suitor. how gojo, the most ruthless warrior in all the land, had carefully put his hands on your back as you retched, offering you a towel he had fetched from inside to clean yourself up. 
tell them how you hadn’t seen him in years but the first thing you had done was to hug him tightly. how his hands wrapped around your back as though they were the only things keeping you afloat. perhaps they were. 
tell them how he murmured words in your hair to bring you back to reality, his thumb running up and down your arms to calm you down. how it seemed like even though it had been years since you two last saw each other, it felt so right, so normal, to be back in his arms. 
tell them how he had looked at you with such worry, such care, unlike anybody else had looked at you, and you for once felt safe in somebody’s arms. 
tell them how your mother found you two in such a compromising position, with your head nestled in his chest as he tried his very best to soothe your cries. it was humiliating and embarrassing to be caught with a man you had only seen back in your teenage years, and especially so in such a vulnerable position. 
you shake your head, scoffing at the idea, “i’ll just come up with something,” was your answer and he nods along, realizing how the story would be too private to share with people you barely knew.
“and we need a reason for why,” he cleared his throat once again, pink dusting on his cheeks as his eyes dropped to your stomach. your eyes met his in the mirror, and one of your eyebrows raised, “well, you’re not exactly looking like you’re carrying a child at the moment.” 
you quickly looked away, the tension in the room increasing as you moved away from the mirror, doing anything you could to keep your hands occupied. you flushed at the comment, your throat drying up as you glanced at your stomach.
the two of you have barely touched, much less been intimate with each other. you were glad he hadn’t forced the idea onto you, instead, leaving it to you to bring up the topic. you only talked about it, once, the night of the marriage, and then never again. you knew that it would have to happen eventually, but you couldn’t do it right now, not with your state of mind. 
you scrambled to say something. in all honesty, you had been dreading this question. you hadn’t been answering any of the letters your mother sent, and you knew people were expecting to hear the news of a pregnancy. 
“we’ll just say we’ve been so busy and preoccupied with the politics of marriage that we couldn’t… consummate.” you offered and he just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as if this was the biggest inconvenience to him. 
you knew that this marriage was brought upon quickly and before either of you could object to it, but at least you tried to hide it away. if only he hadn’t acted so rashly that night, his hands on your shoulders, eyes bewildered as they racked over your figure. if only he had been more careful, or you were smarter in picking some place to be more concealed, you wouldn’t be put in this position. 
but neither of you was thinking ahead, and here you were. but he was certainly making sure that you knew of his contempt for this arrangement far more than you were. it was irritating, it scratched at your skin and ate away at your mind the more you saw each other.
“look,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, off of the way you were fiddling with the ring he had delicately placed on your hand so many weeks ago, “i can come up with whatever they ask, so just try your best to do the same.” you say, your voice tinged with anger, the ring on your finger acting as an anchor to the depths of the sea with the way it weighed down your movements, feeling your chest swell as he stayed silent, watching you as you opened the door. 
“i don’t-”
“um, i won’t be joining you for dinner, so don’t wait on me…i apologize, i need to work on some things for the feast…have a good day.” you swiftly murmured, shutting him in your own room as you left, your heart thumping erratically in your chest as you almost ran down the hallway. 
you had no idea how you were going to persuade the masses that this marriage was working if you couldn’t even persuade yourself. 
---
the feast of clans came earlier than you expected. 
you found yourself perched at the end of the table, gojo next to you, your stiff bodies mirroring each other as the people around you joyously helped themselves to the vast variety of food offered. 
you could barely touch the meal in front of you, your stomach churning uncomfortably with the sheer number of people that surrounded you. back home, you hated these feasts, opting to leave after a couple of bites and finish the rest of what you could pocket in your room, but here, as the clan leader's wife, you had no such luxury. 
“are you not hungry?” you looked to your side, gojo staring at your plate and then to you, his eyes squinting as he tried to decipher what you were feeling.
“i can’t eat,” you murmured, playing with your utensils as you swallowed thickly, “i don’t do well in large crowds.” 
he nodded once, looking out into the sea of bodies as he inched a little bit closer to you. he was donned in expensive fabrics, although his hair still messily fell all over. the candle that was lit in front of you had different hues of oranges and reds bouncing off of his pale skin, and if you didn’t know any better, the blush on his nose and cheeks could have been from the frigid winds from outside. 
“i’ll have myra save you a plate,” he said, giving you a curt smile as he went back to eating. 
you were momentarily taken aback by his comment, but tried not to show it, going back to fidgeting with your ring as you looked at the sea of people. nobody had thankfully come up to you and bombarded you with questions, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to eventually happen. 
“thank you,” you say, glancing at him and then back to your plate. 
“anything for my wife,” he replies. it’s only for show, you remind yourself, after all, when was the last time he referred to you as such? 
“gojo,” an old man had walked up to your table, his face lined with wrinkles and a beard, dressed in orange as he offered gojo his hand to shake, “i’m glad to see that you finally settled down.”
gojo blushed deeply, trying to offer him a smile as he motioned to you. 
“it’s hard to resist marriage when such a woman offers it.” he says, and you feel your eyes widen as you try to laugh off his statement. 
“yes,” the old man chuckles, eyeing the two of you. he looked familiar, and you were sure you had seen him around these sorts of gatherings before, “it was only a matter of time before it happened. we all knew just how much you liked her back when you were children.”
the two of you sputtered on your coughs, and you felt a little smile grow on your face as gojo did what he could to usher the man away. 
you could tell with the way he shifted uncomfortably in his seat that gojo wasn’t expecting that, and before you could realize what you were doing you found yourself talking. 
“i’m not a fan of feasts.” you quickly said, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them. it’s not like you felt you owed him an explanation, but you said it regardless. 
gojo looked up from his plate, grabbing his cup so he could wash down his bite. 
“any feast?” he asked, and you could feel the way the air shifted. he was glad you brought up a different topic. 
“one’s as big as this,” you twisted your ring back and forth on your finger subconsciously, “i get nervous in big crowds.”
“i remember,” a small smile grew on his face as he thought back to when the two of you were children, “you would hide under the tables and force me to come with you.” 
you chuckled, blood rushing to your ears at the fact that he remembered this about you. it was the bare minimum of what you remembered from him, but you had convinced yourself that he had washed every memory of your last selves from his mind. 
a rush of distant memories came to your head; nights spent under the tables, laughing as you two tried to keep your voices down as you tried to dodge the feet. you could still hear his whispers of staying quiet, trying to sneak out so he could smuggle in some pastries for you to eat.
“the adults scared me; they were always loud and insistent on asking personal questions.”
“like they are now?” he replied back, a tilt in his voice as you nodded feverishly. 
“yes!” you covered your mouth with your hand as you let out a laugh, a genuine one as you tried to look as put together as you could, “i swear, it’s even worse than when we were young. just the other day a wet nurse came to me and told me the best positions to get into when giving birth!” it really was a mortifying moment, your eyes darting all around as the old lady even took it upon herself to demonstrate the movements, but gojo didn’t seem to mind, laughing along with you. his eyes twinkled as they took in your giggly state, years since he had last seen you like this. 
“i feel like i should apologize,” he starts, having to cover his own infectious smile as he ducks down his head in shame, “i had her sent up to your chambers.”
your mouth dropped open in shock, lightly smacking his arm as he grinned at the look on your face.
“to mortify me so that i would never leave?” your thumb moves your ring back and forth and gojo watches you as you do it. 
“you seemed sick at breakfast, but i guess she thought it was a different sort of sickness.” gojo tells you as he cuts off some of his meat, not knowing just how much his words affected you. 
you had forgotten how simple and easy conversations were with gojo. although this was under a guise to fool people, you felt at ease with him, as if you didn’t have to be on guard with your emotions when he was around. 
“do you still want to hide under the table now?” he asked a couple of seconds later, chewing on a potato as you shrugged, looking around before your lips grew into an apologetic smile. 
“…yes,” you admitted bashfully and he smiled at your honest response. 
“if you want to hide, i’ll-”
“satoru!” a booming voice interrupted your endless spiral of thoughts as the two of you glanced upwards at the sound, “it’s been too long!” 
a man with hair as dark as night and a smile wider than any ocean had come up to your table. he was the first one to do so all night, but gojo didn’t seem bothered by it. he seemed to smile, crescents forming around his eyes as he took his friend's hand.
“too long,” he emphasized with a charming grin, motioning to you and then back to the man in front of you as if he suddenly remembered the two of you and never met, “suguru, this is my wife, y/n. y/n, this is one of my oldest friends.” 
you extended your hand outwards and the man, suguru, took it, placing a soft kiss on the back of it as he shot you a playful smile. he wasn’t at the wedding, but then yet again, it was a rather quick one. the only people who had attended were your families. 
“it’s a pleasure to meet you.” he greeted, and you nodded in agreement, sitting back down next to gojo. you felt his long fingers reach for yours, enveloping your hand in his as your heart sputtered at the touch. 
“likewise,” you answered and the man grinned politely before he slightly tilted his head, looking at the two of you sitting next to each other. 
“he’s not bothering you, is he? i know satoru can be fiendish when he wants to be, so call for me and i’ll take care of him.” he teased and you could only smile tightly and laugh along, gojo’s fingers slightly tightening around yours as he moved your hand to rest on his thigh. 
“i can take care of him when he’s fiendish. i just have to take the sugar away, right?” suguru snorted and gojo glared, but it was playful the way he looked at you. 
his hands were warmer than you would have expected. you could feel the indents of calluses on his fingertips, could feel his thumb moving back and forth on your skin in a calming sort of manner. he didn’t look over at you as he did it, playing it off as second nature. 
“i apologize for not having much time to get to know you, but i have something i need to talk to gojo about. would you mind? it will only take a minute?” he asked, and gojo let go of your hand at the time of his friend's voice. you had to control your urge to roll your eyes, shifting in your seat as you motioned for suguru to talk to your husband, watching as he stood from his seat, leaving with the man as they went somewhere a little more secluded. 
you watched as gojo leaned down to hear whatever it was that suguru was whispering in his ear, pulling back with a frown on his face. he snapped something that only caused suguru to reel back, cast a quick glance at you, and then shake his head in clear annoyance. 
you saw gojo look up, his eyes landing on somebody from across the room, and you followed his stare, only to land on a girl. 
she wore a dark yellow tunic and skirt, colors from a neighboring clan. you hadn’t seen her before, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t known. just one look at the men surrounding her and you could pick up on their lovesick expressions. 
she motioned for gojo to come to her with a bend of her finger, slyly brushing her hair out of her face to make it look as though it was nothing, exiting from the dining area and vanishing into one of the halls. 
you looked down in case either of the men glanced over to see if you were staring. your eyes pierced through the meat on your plate, bile rising up your throat. 
you gave yourself some time, counting up to a minute before you looked back to where suguru and gojo were, finding suguru standing alone. you looked at where the girl was and saw a flash of white hair before it disappeared, your heart sinking as you glanced back at suguru, only to find him looking at you. 
you looked back at your plate, picking up a knife and fork as you stabbed the meat. you couldn’t keep anything down but it’s best to pretend.
---
gojo didn’t return until half an hour later, and you refused to talk to him. 
“did anybody bombast you with questions?” he teased, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. he didn’t seem to pick up on your darkened mood as your fingers dug into your dress. 
“i had a woman ask me if you had disappeared with your mistress, but that was it.” you remarked, silence filling the void between the two of you and you realized that all you had thought of him was crumbling down. 
you didn’t care for your image anymore, giving curt answers to any questions somebody had asked. you could feel his stare on the side of your face but you didn’t humor him in looking over, focusing on your plate instead. 
so what if he was seeing somebody else? you would have been naive to think that he wouldn’t wander. the two of you barely touched each other. 
once all the guests had left over the course of the following days, you did everything you could to steer away from gojo. 
you no longer came down for breakfast or dinner, choosing to eat in your own quarters. if he wanted to have his own secrets, he could do whatever he pleased. 
though you rarely saw suguru after the feast, he did try to talk to you the morning after it took place. he cornered you after you had left from breakfast, his once playful demeanor turned serious as you tried your best to end the conversation. 
“what you saw last night-”
“is none of my business,” you finished, raising your hand as you cut him off, “if gojo has his own private matters to deal with, i’m indifferent to them all.” 
“you know that’s not what it was.” his hand hovered over your arm, careful not to touch you but not wanting you to leave either. 
“i ruined his life, didn’t i?” you tilted your head a bit in questioning. after all, that’s all you could hear from the women who gossiped as they folded the laundry, or behind the hands of the girls who watched you and gojo interact and the mothers who wanted their daughters to be set up with him only sneered at you from across the tables. 
“you…where’d you get that from?” his brows scrunched together in confusion as you scoffed, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in the corner of your eyes at the sting of your own words. 
“i can see it on his face. if gojo wants to have his own affairs, he can have them. it’s not like we’re in love. hopefully, i find my own way out so that the two of us look happier and this marriage looks somewhat presentable to the public.” 
you didn’t want to see the look on his face, but you’re sure he reported this all back to gojo because he didn’t look at you once after it. 
you heard from a maid a week later that he was gone for another meeting with a clan, a southern one from what you picked up, and that you should probably go and wish him some luck. 
leading up to the night of his departure you anxiously paced around your room, your feet padding on the floor as your nightgown swished behind you. 
you hadn’t talked to gojo at all that day, and purposefully so. 
it was petty, you know it was, to not want to see him, but a part of you still aches when you look back on that night. at how he didn’t explain where he was even after you asked, at how it was suguru he had sent to fix his dirty work for him. 
“y/n?” a muffled voice came from outside your door. 
your head shot up at the familiar sound, quietly dragging yourself out from your bed as you grabbed the candle, hovering on the other side as you waited for him to say something else. 
“are you awake?” you heard a soft thud from his side, almost as if his head or arm had hit the door. 
you didn’t answer, still, waiting. 
“i’m leaving tomorrow and i wanted to see you before i left.” your heart skipped at his words, careful not to make a sound as you near the door. 
“if you’re sleeping i won’t bother you anymore but if you’re not,” you could hear the old stutter he had coming back, his words meshing together as he tried to regain control, “and you’re choosing to stay quiet, i…” he sighed, his forehead thumping down as he rested it on the door, “i wanted to apologize for the feast. i shouldn’t have left you alone, and if you’d open the door, i would explain why…” he could see the flicker of the candle from underneath the crack, and saw the way it blew away, darkness following suit. 
you walked back to your bed, turning your back to the door as you set the candle down on your table. 
“goodnight,” his voice was quieter than before, and you felt guilty, but pushed the bitter feeling down.
a couple of seconds later you heard him let out a sigh of defeat, his footsteps leading away from your bedroom as you curled into yourself, hoping you would let your heart stop taking control of what your head should be doing. 
---
gojo didn’t return for a while, and you grew more impatient by the day. 
it normally took him and his men a week at maximum, and once two had passed, you felt yourself growing uneasy. 
you tried to act as passive as you could, but even myra could pick up on your growing apprehension. you have never voiced your worries over your husband before, but she knew this wasn’t like any other time. 
when you went to bed, the only thing you could dream about was that night, your brain re-running the images as you tossed and turned. 
“are you alright?” he asked, his hands on your elbows as you could barely speak, your blurry vision impairing your sight. you could only see a mop of white in the darkness, your stomach betraying you as you tried to keep the sick down. 
“i don’t feel too good,” you mumbled, trying to put some distance between the two of you as you pushed him away, only to feel him coming closer as he placed a hand on your forehead and then to your cheeks. 
“you’re burning up,” he muttered under his breath, guiding you gently so that you wouldn’t trip over your feet. 
“i’m sorry, you can go back inside, i don’t want to keep you out here.” you were slurring your words as you tried not to throw up on him. you wiped at your eyes so that you could see him better, only to reel back in utter shock to see the face of your childhood friend frowning down at you. 
your mouth formed in the shape of his name, going to say something else, before you hunched over, feeling his strong hands pat your back and keep the hair out of your face as you felt your world tilt on its axis. 
you ate your dinner at the table, eyeing his empty seat as you tried to shove his last night out of your mind. you shouldn’t feel this way, especially about a man who feels nothing towards you, but your little heart was churning in its confines the more you let yourself think about it.
sitting in the same spot where the feast took place only brought back the venomous taste in your mouth, and so you pretended that you were back home, eating somewhere without the worry of your life weighing you down like a thousand weights on your shoulders. 
myra tried her best to distract you, but she could see the distant look in your eyes, how your voice never seemed too genuine. she began to worry for you, but it seemed like your mind was fixed on one thing. 
until you found yourself pacing around your room, just like you were the night you last heard of him, playing with the ring on your finger as the moon carded through your window. 
“my lady,” you heard myra through the door, her voice shaky and a bit more on edge than usual, “there’s-” but before she could finish it slammed open, revealing the man you’d been biting your nails over, standing in the flesh.
his eyes were a dark blue, squinted as they looked right through you. his chest heaved as he looked like he was trying to catch his breath. you could see the streaks of blood that lined his usually clean clothes, the red that stained his cheeks and jaw. 
he looked feral, and it was throwing you off balance. 
“out.” he snapped at myra, and before you could scold him for his tone she fled, the door shutting roughly behind her. 
the two of you could only stare at each other. you didn’t know what to think after weeks of uselessly worrying over him, not knowing about his well-being, to see him here, in front of you, but looking different than he ever had. 
“are you alright?” 
you could barely get it out, the works sticking on your tongue as you took a tentative step forward, not knowing what to do with his state of being. 
he eyed the blood on his shirt, wiping at his cheeks as if he had forgotten it was there. he didn’t look too dirty, less dirty than one would expect from a five week endeavor through the woods, but he didn’t look too good either. 
“you were awake.” is all he says, his chest still moving up and down as though he couldn’t breathe properly. 
“that night i came by, you were awake. i saw your candle, i heard your footsteps.” he says this as though it’s fighting its way out of his mouth as if it’s all he could think about to tell you. 
“i,” you pretend that you don’t care, shrugging, “i wasn’t up to talk.” 
“you were with suguru.” he snaps, his tone shocking you, and he steps back as if he had shocked himself. he jammed his palms into his eyes, tilting his head upwards before he looked back at you. 
“for five weeks you were all i could think about. i wanted to come back, i wanted to tell you what i felt but we kept running into issues with other tribes and clans.” 
“what could you possibly think about that occupied your mind for five weeks?” you so desperately wanted your voice to come out strong but it sounded weak, as though you were hanging off of his every syllable. 
“you had told suguru that you were going to find your…own way out,” he took a step forward, and here you could see the scratches on his chest, the cuts on his arms, “i was praying to every god there was that you hadn’t found somebody in these past weeks, that you hadn’t…”
you could barely believe his words, not knowing if you should feel offended, shocked, worried, or a mix of all those three. 
“what business would it be to you if i did?” you hate that this was the response you settled on. hurt flashed across his face but he tried to regain his composure. 
“you are my wife-”
“and you are my husband!” you snapped and watched as he was momentarily taken aback by your outburst, but you continued your nose flaring, “you cannot argue with me on this when you left with some girl in the middle of our feast!” you felt all your emotions finally pouring out and you had no control over them, “everybody was talking about it, everybody was looking at me in pity!” your voice cracked, tears poking at your eyes as you pointed an accusatory finger at him. 
gojo looked down, running a hand through his hair as he pointed a finger back. 
“if you had let me explain myself, you would have known that she was trying to do what you thought she was. i left as quickly as i could but you would barely look at me!” you wanted to rip your hair out, cursing yourself for ever feeling any sort of worry for this man. 
“i know that this marriage was the last thing you wanted but at least you could play the part of a husband! you didn’t send a single note, anything to tell us that you were okay, that you were alive!” you heaved, fidgeting with your ring as you wiped at your cheeks, “and you come back here accusing me of adultery? all everybody could talk about was the fact that you were warming somebody else’s bed! they said a meeting never takes this long unless something…somebody else comes up.” your voice wobbles at the end, and you find yourself furiously rubbing your tears away, hiding your sniffing as though that would do anything.  
he paused upon seeing you cry, his face falling as he tried to step forward but you angled yourself away from him, hoping he’d get the hint. 
he wanted to hold you, to tell you that all the rumors you were hearing were false and that the only room he had left in his heart was for you. but he couldn’t blame you for feeling or thinking this way. hell, he was so sure that he’d open the door to find another man comforting you that he didn’t even stop to consider what must have been going through your head all these weeks. 
“one of the clans tried to attack us, and we weren’t ready for it. that is why we took so long.” 
you sniffle again, not caring for his explanation although it did soothe a part of your past self. 
“you could have at least sent a letter telling me what happened,” you fidget with your ring, your thumb running over the diamond, “everybody asked me questions that i should have had answers to, but i had no idea where you were or what you were doing…” he nods, his lips pressed into a thin line as he agreed with you. 
“you're right,” his voice was thick with emotion, the words slurring in his mouth as he found himself anchored in place, not knowing what to do. but you were rambling, your thoughts going on and on and you couldn’t stop yourself. 
“…but i know you don’t like letters, so the least you could have done was send a parchment saying i’m alive or something like that.” you rub at your nose again, feeling like all the weeks of worry we’re coming to a standpoint. 
he looked confused now, if anything, and scratched at his jaw. 
“what do you mean?” 
you scoff at the audacity, rolling your eyes as you feel anger prickle at your skin. 
“you never once responded to any of my letters. in my eyes, that must mean you have some sort-”
“letters? what letters?” 
you glance at him, taking in his shaking form. 
“come on gojo,” you feel embarrassed as he urges you to speak, having to spell it out for him, his eyes pleading with you to continue, “the ones from when you left for training.”
his mouth opens and then closes, looks at the ground and then back up to you as he shakes his head. you could hear your fireplace crackling in the background. the only sounds circling the room were the pops of ember and your breathing. 
“i…” he feels like there’s cotton in his mouth, hoping that you’re lying, “i never got any letters.” 
the fire crackled once again and you could almost hear a pin drop as you shook your head vehemently at his statement. 
“n-no, no you did. i wrote to you every week, i sent one every week for two years and you never responded and my mother said that you must have forgotten about me…” and you trail off, the tears in your eyes stoning as he furiously wipes at his own eyes, and for the first time since you had seen him fall down when he was a kid, you saw his own tears staining his cheeks. 
“nobody gave me your letters. i thought that you,” he takes a deep breath, tongue poking inside his cheek as he tried to control himself, “i thought that you didn’t care for me anymore.” 
you hug your midsection, your emotions running wild at his words. 
“i was under the impression that you hated me.” you admit, and he looks as though you stabbed him through the heart. if only others could see the powerful warrior now, stripped bare to his conscience and all he could think about was you. 
“why…why would you think such a thing?” you two inch closer without knowing it, longing to touch each other, wanting to know that the other was really there and that this wasn’t a figment of your imaginations. 
“gojo, you could barely looked at me that night at the gala and now it seems as though you, well, look at you - you’re flushed!” you’re grasping at straws, motioning towards his face,  twinged with pink as you rub at your nose, “you seem angry whenever i am near-” 
“the only person i am angry at is myself.” gojo whispers, but his voice echoed around the expanse of your skull. 
“yes, i’m aware,” you feel cold despite the fire in the corner, your tone carrying an air of know as you scorn, “i know the last thing you expected by comforting me was a marriage but-” 
“you think i am angry because i married you?” he was moving closer, his hands shaking, his eyes wet. you could see the ring on his finger glow in the dim light of the fireplace, how it shined brighter than any of the night skies, “the only good thing that has happened to me these last few months was being able to introduce myself as your husband. i know that i stripped you bare of any love you may have had for any other man, but call me selfish for feeling glad that i did.” 
you could barely focus on what was happening, his words sinking deep into your skin, going to your bones. 
“i told myself that you had forgotten about me those years i left. when i saw you that night i was so sure you had come with the intention of finding a suitor that i didn’t want to distract you, but then i saw that man come up to you…” and he couldn’t finish, choking on his words as he stuttered, and you saw a glimpse of the boy you had fallen in love with so long ago. 
“and i followed you out. if i knew that simply being alone with you would have gotten me married to you then i would have cornered you in a closet the moment i saw you enter the dining hall.” 
a tear rolls down your chin, splattering on the ground beneath you as you struggle to make sense of what he was saying. it felt as though the months of being married to him were weeks spent pacing around your own rooms, thinking the same worried thoughts, and not having the strength to confront each other about it. 
“you…you don’t hate me?” your voice is timid, almost not believing yourself as the statement tumbled out. gojo had the audacity to laugh a bit, shaking his head as strands of his hair fell into his face. 
“my every waking moment is spent thinking of you. when i was in training, you were all i could dream about, hoping that when i’d come home i could finally have you to myself. 
“you have control over my emotions, my mind, my soul, and i cursed myself for taking away your options for a husband, but the only thing i’ve wanted to do these past few weeks was to hold you in my arms. to tell you just how deeply i yearn for your love back.” 
he wiped at his cheeks, glistening in the faint light. he looked angelic, despite the grime and blood that decorated his clothing. you didn’t want to think about the men he had killed just to come back, to come back to you, and the thought of ever losing him hurt you more than when you spent nights wondering why he never responded to any of your letters. 
you couldn’t stop your feet from leading you toward him, and you could only watch as he met you in the middle, catching you with all his strength, holding you as if you weighed nothing, and it only took a few seconds before your lips collided. 
it was rushed, and messy as you felt his hands holding you as if you carried the weight of the universe. your teeth clashed, your tears staining each other's skin as your hands gripped at his hair, using it for leverage as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, enjoying the whimper that escaped your lips when he nipped at yours. 
it was what years of longing and desperation felt like. how it felt like you two just molded into each other as if your bodies were cut out with the other in mind. you felt like your heart was about to stop beating, and you knew gojo felt the same with the way he’d whine against your lips, wanting you more than you could have ever imagined. 
“we’ve been stupid people, haven’t we?” you whispered as you pulled away, trying to catch your breath as he smiled against you. if only you knew just how much he’d been wanting to kiss you like this, to see your swollen lips as you looked at him from beneath your eyelashes. you were his venus, his only saving grace, and he could only vex himself for ever making you feel anything but love. 
“very, “ he pressed a kiss to the corner of your eyes, “very,” to your nose, “stupid,” his lips were on your cheeks, feeling like he was breathing in new air at the sound of your laughter, “people.” he pressed his lips to yours again, cherishing in the way you whined at the harshness. 
he had spent months convincing himself that you no longer cared for him. weeks of perilous training to only come back to a bed and dream of a girl who didn’t share his emotions when in reality you did. he wants to track down the letters you had sent him, to read every word carefully, as if each sentence carried its own riddle inside of it. he wanted to apologize for never having the honor of experiencing your skilled penmanship, for leading you to believe that he had simply forgotten about you. 
“gojo,” your fingers curl in his tunic, your heat transferring, trying to be rational in such an irrational state of being, “you’re bleeding, i should call for the doctor.” he didn’t stop kissing your face, moving to your jaw as he smiled hearing you shudder. 
“it’s not my blood,” he murmured and you wanted to smack him for how cocky he sounded, “and don’t call me gojo.” he nipped at your lips again. 
“husband?” you found yourself smiling at the title, but he shook his head. you saw how he was trying to hide his own grin. 
“sire?” you tested it out teasingly, hating how it sounded. he seemed to agree with the way he grimaced at the name. 
“my lord?” he wanted to bottle up your laughter forever, knowing he could get drunk off of the sound. his nose nudged up at your jaw, pressing wet kisses wherever he could. 
“hmm, what about my liege?” you're curling a strand of his hair around your fingers letting him settle you down on your vanity as you spread your legs so he could slot between them. 
“my men call me that.” he says, cringing as it falls off your mouth. you pretend to think, not knowing how you were able to live without this banter for as long as you did. 
“satoru?” you felt breathless saying it after so long. but he still didn’t seem to find it satisfactory enough, a pout on his lips as he wanted you to find a better one. 
“close, but only when you’re angry with me.” you tuck that information in the back of your mind for if you ever need to scold him, your cheeks flushed as he interlocks his fingers through yours. 
“‘toru…?” his lips broke into a giddy smile, and you had to control yourself as he swooped back in for a kiss. his eyes were so much softer when he laughed, the kind ones you fell in love with so many nights ago. 
“there it is,” his voice was husky, raw as your fingers gripped at the baby hairs at his nape. he was taking your air away with him and you couldn’t find it in yourself to fight back for it. 
“i forgot how cheeky you can be,” you bite your lip to keep the moans inside, feeling feverish as his tongue ran over his love marks, not knowing what to do yourself as you scrambled to grab onto something to keep you afloat.
“you have no idea how much self-control it’s taken not to ravage you,” his breath is hot on your skin, and he’s tugging at your shirt, fingers slightly brushing upon your breasts, “every night you’d come down for dinner i wanted something different to eat.”
“stoppp,” you mewled, not used to this. he chuckles as his slender fingers work to untie the knot keeping you together, tugging at the string until it falls, revealing your naked chest, heaving as the fabric pooled at your hips. 
you wanted to cover yourself up under his heavy gaze, to take the fabric and hide, but you felt pierced by his stare. his eyes darted to yours as if checking to see if you were okay. when you gave him a timid nod, it seemed as though it prompted him to finally move. 
his fingers were gentle as they ran across your waist, large as they covered the soft of your stomach, eager as they went upwards. he looked like he was crazed and starved, as if you were his last meal and he couldn’t wait for the sweetness death would give. 
your breath stuttered as his fingers found your mounds, rubbing a soothing thumb over your nipples as his pupils grew. he was eager as he flicked them over and over, a cheshire grin growing as they hardened under his touch. 
“you’re perfect,” he murmured, dropping down so he could suckle at your tits, his spit shining in the light of the fire, and you tilted your head back, soft moans escaping as his tongue drew circles around your buds. 
“f-fuck, ‘toru, that’s,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, his second hand coming to cup your other tit, not wanting to leave her unattended as he sucked and bruised, wanting to forever leave his mark on your untainted skin. 
“good?” he’s so cocky, and you want to smack the smug smirk off his devilishly handsome face. 
his knee is purposefully rubbing against your clothed clit, and you feel yourself subconsciously rubbing yourself against it. you hope that he can’t feel how drenched you are from him just sucking your tits, but he pinches you, pressing his tongue flat against your skin as he looks up through his lashes.
“horny from just me touching you?” he’s teasing you, it’s so painful the way you want, need him like oxygen. you tug on his hair roughly, bringing his spit-soaked lips back to yours as you bite down on his lower one, enjoying the groan you draw out from him. 
“don’t be mean ‘toru,” you taunt, and you feel him melt in your fingers, nodding to your request as he lowers himself down. 
he presses wet kisses down your torso, stopping just above your hips, his fingers hooking along the rim of your underwear, being careful and slow in his movements as he waits for any objections, making sure you’re okay with this. 
but you were in your own world, hitching your leg over his shoulders, drawing him in closer to you, sweat dotting your forehead as he licks a stripe over the cotton on your pussy, smiling to himself at the taste of you. 
you were so sweet, sweeter than any desert he���d indulge himself on. he was sure that once he had a taste of you he’d be able to repent, to go before any god, and to tell them that you were his religion.
he had spent countless nights, tossing and turning in his bed, the only thing putting him to sleep being the idea of coming home to you. running after you that night was him running home to you, regardless of where you were. he was glad he got your hand in marriage, but if he had to, he’d wait another ten years just to hold you in his arms again.
he peels your underwear off, a string of your arousal connecting to it, and he tucks it in his pants, for safekeeping. 
“you’re going to be the death of me.” he says against your heat, his nose rubbing against your clit as your eyes wring shut in pleasure. his hands grip your thighs, making sure you stay in place as he kitten licks around where you need him the most. 
“don’t let…don’t let any of your enemies hear,” your voice comes out in bits, your hand resting on the back of his head as your leg tightens around him, “don’t want them to come after me or something.” 
he snorts, pinching your thighs as if anybody could come within a ten feet radius of you without losing an eye. 
his lips come closer to where you desperately want him, a finger prodding at your tight entrance, his tongue finding your clit as he begins to suck. 
it’s all too much, the sensations far better than your own fingers have ever proved to be. 
his fingers are skilled, long enough that they reach deep within you. he sinks one fully in, your walls clamping around him as he continues sucking your clit, his teeth grazing it every so often, making your head thump against the wall. 
“talk to me, how do you feel?” his mouth discontented from your bud and you whine at the loss. he sinks in another finger to make up for it, but he doesn’t move them, waiting for your response. 
“‘s good,” one of your hands is fisting your discarded robe, trying to hold onto your senses as you desperately nod, “don’t stop ‘toru, please,” and he obliges, loving the sounds of your begging, but loving the sound of your pleasures more. 
his fingers stretch you open and you welcome the sting, your nails digging into him as you long for more. 
he switches his mouth with his hand every now and then, his tongue taking the place of his fingers as it licks at you, groaning at your taste as he eats you out with his entire being, his chin shining with your essence and his spit as his thumb rubs furiously at your clit. 
“mmhhh, just like that, fuck!” you’ve never heard your voice at this pitch, never knew it was possible to feel this way. his other hand reaches up to flick at your nipple, the extra sensation making white dot around your vision. 
you feel yourself getting closer to the sweet release, feel your wall clamp around him even tighter as that knot in your stomach builds to a crescendo. 
“come on, let go f’me, know you want to, know you can.” he spurs you on, his fingers unrelenting as they piston in and out of you, reaching that gummy spot that makes you go dumb.
“fuck, ‘toru, m’gonna, m’gonna come!” you cry out and you’re sure anybody walking past you could hear the debauchery. your thighs were starting to shake and you felt it all go black as you reached your high, your orgasm washing over you unlike anything you’ve ever felt. 
you creamed around his fingers, gushing around him as you wailed out, tears dotting your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling. you squeezed around him, wanting to never lose what this felt like, trying to catch your breath as his mouth never stopped sucking at your nub before he was sure your climax was over. 
when he finally pulled away the only thing that could be heard was the two of you, trying to come back down as stupid smiles made their way onto each of your faces. 
he was boyishly charming as he stood in front of you, licking yourself off of his fingers as he grinned at the taste. you couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed after having him just between your legs, but you still felt a heat blossom in your chest. 
“so…” you awkwardly start, sweat dripping down your face from just how hot the room had suddenly gotten as you avert your gaze, “what now?” 
he shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact that his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his chest. you let him pick you off of the vanity and tucked you safely away into his chest as he led you to your bed, gently setting you down in your mountain of pillows and blankets as you felt sleep etch away at you. 
“i’m going to clean you up,” he pressed a kiss to your hair, smiling at the way you giddy smiled at whatever he did, a dopey grin on your face as your hand searched for his, interlocking you fingers with his as if you didn’t want to watch him go, “if you let me.” 
you yawn, your head tilting as he sat down at the edge of your bed, still not letting go of your hand as your fingers run through the soft pelts beneath you. 
“and what about you?” your chin points the obvious hard-on growing in his pants. he looks down as if suddenly realizing, and he plays it off by looking back up to you with a wink. you felt your mouth going dry at the size of it, not knowing if you could even be able to take something as big as that. 
“for another day,” he promises, and you’re sure he’s not going to forget it. not like you want him to.
“and then?” 
your question lingers in the air. you don’t want to wake up to him acting like this never happened, as if your feelings were only a figment of your wildest dreams. but his eyes hold onto yours, never letting go as he brushes some strays away from your face. 
“and then i get a bigger bed for my room because there’s no way i’m letting you sleep here alone after this.” his thumb runs along the palm of your hand, his fingers tracing patterns into the soft of your legs. 
“and then?” 
“and then you tell me all the things i missed out on when i was gone. i’ll tell you about the time suguru shaved my head, and you’ll tell me about anything on your mind.” 
“what if i run out of things to say?” sleep is overtaking your voice, and you’re already nodding off, not even truly knowing what you were asking. 
“then i’ll make up stories so that you’re not bored.” he finds a clean towel, soaking it in water from a nearby pitcher as he drags it slowly across your body, as if your fragile and made of porcelain. 
“how do i know you’re not a dream? you might just be,” you yawn, rubbing at your eyes as your finger traces his ring, “you might just be my own mind tricking me.” your eyes are shutting, but the teasing smile on your face never leaves. 
“because a dream wouldn’t hide under a table with you if you asked.” he whispers, kissing your lips with a soft peck as he pulls the blanket over you, letting you sleep into a slumber as he crawls in next to you, holding you to his chest just as he did that night, just as he will every night from now on, and just as he longed for those nights he wished you next to him.
13K notes · View notes
helluvapoison · 4 months
Note
Could I get Adam, Lute and Lucifer and how they 'court' the reader? Like how birds with court each other, little gifts, wing 'dances', nesting, etc...
Also, could I be your 🐌 anon? <3<3<3
Birds of a Feather
Adam, Lute and Lucifer courting you
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ
˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Peacocking has nothing on The First Man
• His personality is amped up to the highest level when he sees you walk in a room
• (Overcompensation for how fucking nervous you make him)
• Adam gets cocky when he knows he has your attention
• Tossing grapes high in the air and catching them in his mouth, bragging louder than usual about something or the other
• Heaven forbid you laugh at any of his antics, (His smirk is dangerous, “Oh you like that?”) he’ll start singling you out in front of everyone, calling your name before he acts up
• Performances include inviting you to watch his band play and miraculously getting more energy
• Casually tosses guitar picks in your direction— and when he finds out you kept one!? He’s over the moon
• He won’t go out of his way to get you food but he’ll order you something if he goes somewhere
• Adam hates nesting. He doesn’t like being stressed in general and nesting is really fucking stressful!
• The very fact seeing you pricks the urge in him to nest drives him insane
• (AKA, he likes you a lot more than he thought he did!)
• Seeing you in his space does something he doesn’t particularly hate though
• “It’s whatever if you don’t like it.” Adam shrugs
• “No, I think it looks nice! Very you. Tell me about these pictures?”
• He’s fucking done for
˚✧₊⁎ Lute ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Like they have a mind of their own, her wings stretch out and audibly fluff up when she makes eye contact with you
• Mortifying is an understatement
• She picks out trinkets to give to you at first, something small that could be waved off as insignificant
• Later, when Lute realizes her affections are returned, she brings useful offerings or something you offhandedly mentioned needing
• She wishes she could tell you about the exterminations solely to brag
• See how fierce she is, how skilled she is, how good of a protector she could be for you
• Lute will ask you to arm wrestle as a compromise. She gets to hold you hand and show off her strength!
• Nesting was fine, it was the judgment part that drove her up a wall
• Watching your eyes roam over her apartment, deciding whether or not it was good enough for you? Gah!
• “What, uh—“ Lute clears her throat, she’ll hate herself for even asking later, “What do you think?”
• You smile knowingly, something else that makes her absolutely mad, “It’s perfect.”
• Lute beams with pride like she’s won a great victory
˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚
• Never before has he felt the need to actually flaunt.. anything?
• With you it hits him like a fucking train and it’s even harder to supress it
• He’s Lucifer! That’s supposed to be self explanatory, that’s supposed to be enough
• Suddenly he’s checking every mirror on his way to you, making sure he looks better than he feels
• He tries to find other ways to steal your attention or show that he would be a worthy partner
• …But showing off his wings couldn’t hurt, right? He has six after all. If you needed to get to the other side of town he’d be more than happy to fly you over!
• Nothings too good for you! If Lucifer thinks you’ll want or like something, he’s buying it!
• Did you notice he can make things too? He’ll make you something— or fix something for you!
• Quick, break that so he can show you he can fix it!
• Lucifer pulls all the stops trying to prove himself, nesting is no exception… he’s just not great at it
• He starts! However a little after beginning he realizes just how big his mansion is and gets overwhelmed so he closes all the doors and focuses his energy on the only room that matters; his
• “I mainly stay in here,” Lucifer explains while squishing a duck in his fist, watching you explore his room, “I cleaned it up for you! N-Not for you, not for that— I mean not that I’m opposed! I just meant so that you could, uh, see?”
• “I see why you like it, I’d never wanna leave.”
• You’re gonna kill him saying shit like that
~
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ 🐌 CAN I GIVE YOU A KITH BECAUSE THIS WAS SO FUN!!!!!
3K notes · View notes
Text
I finished Another last night, and after sitting with it, I have some thoughts regarding it. This is going to be spoiler-y, so heads up if you want to watch a 10-year-old anime or read the book.
My initial impression was the art is nice. The characters have this doll-like quality with large eyes and bodies reminiscent of ball jointed dolls. It's also great at setting up atmosphere in the early episodes. The first few episodes are great at making the town and school feel eerie and spooky without outright introducing the horror of everything. This kind of wanes for me personally in later episodes, but the first 3 or so are great at establishing mystery.
Okay, so onto plot:
In the most basic sense, Another is very Final Destination-core. The premise is there is this middle school where class 3 of grade 9 (correct me if I'm wrong) has this curse called "the calamity" where there is another person on the roster who is not supposed to be part of the class (hence the name). This person is dead, and I'm pretty sure they don't know they had died. This person being there results in a domino effect of deaths in this class, which are both senseless and gruesome. The curse also extends to their loved ones.
The main characters are Koichi, a boy who transferred to this school from Tokyo when he went to go live with his grandparents after his father had to go abroad for work (side note: I loved the phone calls with the dad where all he can talk about is how hot it is in India and the food he's been eating; it's cute). Koichi for me was a good POV character as he is a transfer student who isn't aware of the curse, so it makes the lore dumps for our sake make sense in universe. The other main character is Mei, a strange girl in Koichi's class who wears an eyepatch on her left eye and who the other students in the class seem to not know exists.
Pretty shortly into the series, you find out that the students not acknowledging Mei is a counter curse superstition. They choose one student in the class, and they act as though they're not there, thinking it will prevent Another person from appearing. This is also around the time that 1. the deaths start happening and more importantly 2. you find out Mei's left eye was replaced with a doll's eye when she was younger, and this doll eye gives her the ability to see the aura of death. Basically, she can see when a person has died/can tell who the dead person in the class is.
It's there that the plot kind of fell apart for me. The students don't know there is a way to stop the Calamity (I forgot to mention it in the premise section, but you can stop The Calamity if you identify the other and kill them, effectively returning them to the death they evaded)once it starts until a few episodes after Mei reveals her ability, but there's this whole mystery where the students are trying to figure out who the dead person is and Mei just...doesn't use her ability. On top of that, in the penultimate episode, Mei tells Koichi that she has known who the dead person was for pretty much the entire time and just...didn't tell anyone because...they were important to Koichi and "it wouldn't change anything" when...it would have? There was only a handful of deaths when they find out how to break the curse, and Mei decides to keep her mouth shut, which results in many more deaths leading up to them finally breaking the curse. I wonder if the novel did things differently/Mei didn't have this power because her having it and pointing out that she always knew retroactively ruins the them trying to solve the mystery.
That said, once everything is revealed, I can say the narrative did set up clues that the audience could use to solve the mystery. They weren’t consistently there, but viewers who pay attention will be able to put the pieces together.
Overall, I liked the atmosphere and characterization was good, but Mei's ability ruins the whole conclusion for me.
#i kind of wish mei just didn’t have some magic death seeing ability#because when she explains the Another to Koichi#she literally explains every detail that would prove that this person was dead the entire time#thus explaining things with logic#and her having a bro just trust me magic power kind of undermines the fact that she figured it out logically too#and if she had this magic power she should have used it to identify them right away#because a huge part of the tension between koichi and mei and their classmates comes in the classmates#being suspicious of them because they assume they're the dead person#she could have prevented so much senseless violence at the climax#and saved a ton of lives#like a few of the important supporting cast members die literally because they think Mei or Koichi is dead#and this all happens after they know how to break the curse#the first few deaths prior to them knowing how to break the curse really are senseless accidents in the vein of final destination#so I give the writing that#but there is legitimately a whole part of the last couple episodes where it's a blood bath of students killing each other#just hoping someone the kill is the dead one and that will end the curse#I also forgot to mention that the curse makes it so memory stuff regarding the other is weird#like if you go digging you can find out they died but you won't for instance remember attending their funeral#they're still dead and you can find evidence of it but your mind will tell you otherwise until presented with the actual reality of it
0 notes
uravichii · 1 year
Text
pov: you're drop-dead gorgeous (and they don't know how to deal with it)
Tumblr media
character/s: bakugo katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki, todoroki shouto
genre: fluff, crack (?), them hyping u up like there's no tomorrow, uhh reader wears makeup 🤕
notes: this is for all u pretty mfs aka all of u whether u believe it or not YOU ARE PRETTY AMD HOT AND AMAZING 😡‼️ also disclaimer: the boys love u not just for your face. they think you're so cool for being beautiful inside n out and this is just them appreciating the out 🧎‍♀️
Tumblr media
bakugo katsuki thinks you're so pretty that his only response to it is to be angry. he'd watch intently the way you'd smooth your clothes down and cutely fiddle with your hair in the mirror as if there's even anything to fix. he'll cup your pretty face in his hands and squeeze your cheeks together (cuteness aggression probably), "tell me why you're so fucking pretty all the time? what are you so pretty for, huh?!"
bakugo katsuki would always watch you do your makeup and hair and then slip into the prettiest clothes only you can pull off and he's just mesmerized by the whole thing.
"katsuki, please stop drooling and get dressed. we're gonna be late."
his only response is: "fuck off."
because he can never deny nor hide the fact that he constantly admires you every chance he gets. he storms his way to you and snatches a shimmery eyeshadow from your makeup bag. "tch, you don't even need any of this shit."
"you don't like it, katsuki?" you stare up at him doe-eyed, easily making his heart skip a beat.
"h-hah?! i didn't say that!" he shoves it to your hand, "now do this glittery shit next!"
and you just ditch whatever plans you'd made and spend the rest of the night trying on different makeup looks. he'll insist that you sit on his lap while you doll yourself up just because, and you gladly do so but then you both end up wearing a full face of glam makeup 🧍‍♀️ he doesn't know how he just let it happen but he's like, "whatever makes you fucking happy, y/n."
he then proceeds to tell you that, "every one of those ugly extras should grovel at your feet, worship the ground you walk on, and then beg for your forgiveness."
"forgive them for what?"
he stares blankly at you. "for breathing the same air as you."
bakugo katsuki's not active on social media at all but on his instagram, his first and only post is a photo dump of just youー the selfies you took on his phone, your date outfits, candid photos (by courtesy of bakugo katsuki) of you smiling at a stray cat, the power nap you took on his shoulder, and his favorite one by far: a photo of you wearing his black tank top that completely swallows you up, holding up two little peace signs on your cheeks.
and of course, he captions it, "u and ur ugly ass wish u were y/n."
Tumblr media
shinsou hitoshi is convinced he's dating a model. he doesn't know how it happened, but he is a little proud of whatever the hell was in him that managed to rizz you up.
he thinks you look amazing in absolutely anything. so when you go clothes shopping together, he casually picks up all types of clothes from the racks until there's a whole pile of them in his arms.
when you shoot him a questioning look about it, he only says, "think you'll look amazing in these, babe."
he also picks up some accessories and just wears them on youー hats, sunglasses, hair pins, and you just let him because each time you let him accessorize you, he gives those little comments like, "amazing." "cute" "this one's tacky; i put it on you as a joke but you pull it off for some reason." "yes. slayed." he made you wear cat ears one time and he just melts right there, immediately taking a photo of you for his new lockscreen.
it bothers shinsou hitoshi a lot when people stare at you even when they can clearly see his hand on the small of your back. he'll slide closer to you and kiss the top of your head all the while he gives them a death stare he wishes he could do more.
he squeezes your waist a little to call your attention.
"hm? what's up, hitoshi?"
he looks at you blankly, taking in your features in awe as if for the first time again. then he stuffs your face into his chest, your legs staggering as you grab a hold of his forearms.
"hey, what are you doing?" you giggle in his chest. he's relieved you can't see his flushed cheeks. "hitoshiii"
"you're too good for this world, y/n. i need to start gatekeeping you."
what blows shinsou hitoshi's mind the most is how you're probably unaware of your effect on him, no matter how many times he's called you all synonyms of the word, 'beautiful'
he's sat on the couch, a tiny smile of adoration tugging on his lips when he sees you running up to him. your eyes brim with excitement as you call his name, truly the prettiest ones he's ever seen.
"something happened?ー" he pauses when you lean your face so close to his. he sinks back into the couch as the tips of ears start to turn red.
it takes a moment until he realizes that you're showing off the purple eyeshadow you had done on yourself, batting your eyelashes at him as you wait for his response bc right now he's just staring at you like 😦💘‼️‼️‼️
"it's the one you picked out from the mall yesterday. is it pretty?"
"y/n." his hands slowly find their way to your waist, "i don't believe you're real sometimes. you are possibly the most beautiful person i've ever seen."
"really?"
"god," he pulls you by the waist until you're sat on his lap, your legs straddling him. "you have no idea."
Tumblr media
remember how bakugo said all those extras should be groveling at your feet and worshipping you? yeah, it's kaminari denki. he worships you.
he thinks you're beautiful and he's LOUD about it.
he's constantly bragging about you to his friends and showing off your photos (if you're comfy w/ that), "oh this? oh yeah, this is is y/n, the coolest, funniest, drop dead gorgeous, most ethereal person on earth and they're dating ME."
and bakugo would just grab his phone and knock it against his head with a thud 🤕, "WE FUCKING GET IT. NOW, SHUT UP, DUMBASS."
he'll rub his head while cackling, "whatever, i'm dating Y/N. who cares about anything if you're dating y/n?"
kaminari denki doesn't love you just for your beauty though. you're not just some eye candy to him. if someone ever called you one though, you bet he's zapping their ass and with the whole bakusquad by his side because somehow they feel obligated to protect you now too. 🧍‍♀️ (denki's effect)
and just as much as he compliments your beauty everyday, he never forgets to let you know how beautiful your heart is too. in fact, he calls you 'angel' because how could someone be this beautiful and be so kind and caring to him at the same time?
"sometimes.." he looks up pensively from his lap where you lay your head, "i feel like i've been blessed by the heavens when i got to date you.
"denkiー"
"don't even think i'm exaggerating, y/n!" he pokes your cheek when you turn your head to look at him, "you're amazing. i don't know what i did for you to give me a chance."
there are times though when a part of kaminari denki feels a little insecure because he thinks he looks quite stupid next to you, and it doesn't help either that the bakusquad never lets him hear the end of it 😔
"denki, you don't look stupid because you're next to me. you do that on your own."
"aww, thank yー hol' up." 🤨
he's pouting but you immediately wipe that off by apologizing and peppering his face with kisses, ending it with a loud smooch on his lips with a "mmmwah!"
kaminari denki now can't remember what you're even apologizing for in the first place.
Tumblr media
you and todoroki shouto are so beautiful, the visuals are blinding 😩 you'd walk to your classroom together, him opening the door for you and you smiling at him, lovingly squeezing his arm as a silent 'thank you,' and people just stare with their mouths agape, not knowing who exactly to be jealous of.
shouto definitely stares the most though until it concerns midoriya, "t-todoroki-kun, you haven't moved in three minutes. are you okay?" because he might as well have drawn hearts on his eyes and stab an arrow to his heart with the way he looks at you.
todoroki shouto always kisses your eyes, nose, cheeks, hair, and your lips, of course, just to let you know how beautiful he thinks they are.
he thinks whatever you do or wear is so pretty, hence, the many, many photos of you on his phone. his lockscreen changes every 2 days because everyday he just gets a prettier shot of you, and he always shows them to you and to his friends and siblings ☹️ because everyone, including you, should appreciate what a beauty you are!
"this looks great! you'd make a great photographer, shouto" you lean in to kiss his cheek, immediately sending a flush across his face.
"well..." he looks to the ground, the feeling of your lips still lingering on his right cheek. "that's all you... you're beautiful. i don't know how it has anything to do with me, but thank you."
and then he leans closer, tilting his head to the side to silently ask for another kiss. you laugh softly at this, and when you cup his cheeks in your hands and start planting kisses all over his face the way he does to you, shouto confirms it in his mindー y/n is an angel.
todoroki shouto would get a little overboard with the photos though because he'll spam that button and keep every single one. when you ask why keep the blurry ones, he explains, "that's still a photo of you. why would i delete it?"
he also has a photo of his point of view from when he had his head on your lap. he said he wanted to capture "the happiest moment of his life." you convince yourself it's sweet but it's literally just a photo of your chin in a weird angle.
"shouto, that's just my chin."
he looks at you dead in the eye. "y/n, you have a lovely chin."
you call him a weirdo, which surprises him a little, but then you drape your arms around his neck and pepper kisses all over his face again because who else in the world would say that to you?
21K notes · View notes