#i woke up in the morning and went 'hmm what if michael had gay thoughts'

[straynotferal]

only a rough sketch but hopefully it'll push yall to make more fanarts and fics of em

pls pls pls pls Im starving 😭

[astarisms]

sacrilege

pairing: natan word count: 1875 warnings: suggestive themes, profanity notes: this is just a part of a church camp au me and @crowbie came up with. maybe they’ll be more in the future but for now, have this.

Natalie woke up with one pounding headache, zero memory of the night before, and, after counting twice to make sure, eight hickeys.

In short, she was very confused and very sick.

She took an ibuprofen and moved slowly until it began to kick in. Her headache didn’t go away, but it became bearable. She tried to use foundation to cover up the evidence of her night, but that didn’t work as well as she hoped.

She chewed on her lower lip before pulling her hair over her shoulders and situating it to hide them. When she walked back into her room, Laila was doing her makeup.

Natalie shifted, wondering if it could have been her. She didn’t know how to ask without bringing attention to the fact that she had eight glaring pieces of evidence as to how her night had gone.

It was embarrassing to not remember who had left them.

“So, Laila…” she started, figuring she might as well try.

“What’s up, McAllister?”

“Did you... do anything uh, fun last night?”

“Fun?” Laila asked, arching an eyebrow at Natalie through her mirror. Natalie shifted her feet as she remembered that night in the lake a few weeks ago. “Not really. Heard you did, though. Way to go.”

“Oh.. Haha, yeah… Hey, can I borrow a scarf?”

What was that supposed to mean? Natalie wondered as she exited their shared bunk, winding the thin black material around her neck. She was able to breathe a little easier, knowing they were covered now, but she still didn’t know who had left them.

*

“Hey, Lucifer!”

He had his nose stuck in a book, as per usual when he wasn’t wrecking havoc and corrupting the youth, as Michael would have put it. He didn’t acknowledge her, but that was also typical. She knew he was listening.

“Paradise Lost, huh? That’s funny. I didn’t know you could read anything intellectual,” she joked, a grin splitting her face. He looked up at her then, with an eyebrow raised, and her smile slipped a little. She quickly forced it back up, though it was less genuine than before.

“Say, um, I was just wondering, for no particular reason, it just seems like you’d have some experience but also guys who look at porn as often as you are usually compensating for something so maybe not—”

“What,” Lucifer said through his teeth, “do you want, kid?”

“Right, right. I was just wondering if you’d ever sucked someone off before.”

“...What?”

“You know,” she said, gesturing vaguely.

“No,” he replied, closing his book and sitting up. “I don’t think I do. Please, enlighten me.”

“You know. Like… oh, forget it. I thought I could count on you, Lucifer,” she pouted, being dramatic to try to make him forget the subject. Clearly, he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“That was your first mistake, kid.” He reopened his book, and she sighed, walking away.

*

“Hey, Kristi—”

Kristi turned her nose up and walked right past her, sniffing indignantly. Natalie supposed that had something to do with the whispers she’d heard that morning about what she’d done last night.

So, not Kristi, then. Not that she had much faith in that option anyways, but it was nice to have the confirmation.

“Thank God,” she whispered to herself, then had to stop to wonder if God would even want her thanks anymore.

*

“Michael, my man! What’s… going…” Natalie trailed off as she took in the state of the head youth pastor. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink and in fact, was in a very sour mood.

“Not now, Gingersnap,” he said, snappy and short. She held her hands up in surrender.

“Sorry to bother you,” she conceded, and his eyes softened.

“Hey, look, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I’m just… not feeling great this morning. If you need something, try Raph or Gabe, ok?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

Not Michael, then. Again, she whispered a quick thank you.

She really didn’t know what she would have done if it turned out that Michael was the source.

*

Natalie went through the remaining potential suspects in her head. Mike was too soft, she decided. He would never leave anything like that on her, let alone so many. Raphael was gay. Gabriel was in love with Anthea.

Ipos and Sheila were among some of the only faces she remembered clearly from the night before, but they were pretty dedicated to each other. She’d already asked Lucifer, so that left Zadkiel, but the thought of asking her unnerved her more than it should’ve.

And, if it had been Zadkiel, there was no way she would’ve let Natalie go all morning without reminding her of it.

There was her answer there, too. It couldn’t have been Zadkiel.

But by her deduction process, it couldn’t have been anyone. Who had hickey’d her?

*

Natalie flopped into the chair across from Lucifer, groaning and muttering to herself. He ignored her, keeping his eyes glued to his book. She huffed a little more, shifting in her seat. Several minutes passed before he acknowledged her.

“Did you want something?” With the prompt, she opened like a dam. There was hardly a beat between him finishing his sentence and her beginning hers.

“I did something last night… And I don’t remember who I did it with.”

“Sounds like you have a problem, but I don’t remember opening up confessions.”

“That’s Catholics, you jerk.”

“Then why are you telling me?”

“Because you’re a youth pastor and you should let me unload on you.”

“Is that so?” he asked, turning a page slowly and fighting a grin. “You did plenty of that last night.”

It took her a second to catch his meaning, but when she did, she gasped.

“It was you!”

He lifted his eyes to hers finally, raising an eyebrow.

“Why did you pretend you didn’t know what I was talking about this morning?!” she exclaimed, snatching his book from his hands and whacking his arm with it.

“Because it’s fun to watch you squirm.”

Another double entendre, and she blushed. Lucifer smirked, plucking his book back.

“I was drunk! You took advantage of me,” she accused, fighting the warmth on her face and in her belly.

“You didn’t seem to mind being taken advantage of. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

Natalie sputtered, placing her hands on her thighs and bracing herself as she leaned forward.

“Of course not! I was drunk. I don’t remember anything. What did you — did I — did we—”

“No,” he said, and his eyes were dark as he copied her position to meet her in the middle. “I stopped even though you were begging me not to, kid.”

“I—” Natalie’s flush deepened, “I don’t believe that.” He sat back, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Believe what you want. I’m the only one who was there who remembers what happened. You didn’t seem to think I had anything to compensate for last night, though.”

She choked, recalling her earlier words to him. He gave her that smug look she found half infuriating half extremely attractive, but she stayed silent. Her mind and her heart raced, trying to put together the pieces he’d given her and come up with a sufficient response.

“Why… I mean, what happened? What, um… started it?” she asked, half afraid of the answer but needing to know. She remembered joining him, Ipos, Sheila and Zadkiel in the woods. She remembered the bottle of wine, and there were fleeting glimpses of others’ faces.

But other than that the night was a blur.

“We were playing truth or dare after you got drunk on the blood of Christ.” He sounded amused, but Natalie moaned and buried her face in her hands. Oh, yeah, she was definitely sure God didn’t want anything from her now.

“And…?” she prompted, through her mortification.

“You’re something of an antichrist when you’re drunk. Did you know that? You’re a fearless little motherfucker.”

That was a compliment from him, and she blanched. Oh, gosh.

“What did I do?”

“Let’s see, let’s see…” He was enjoying keeping her on edge, and she was just about ready to strangle him. “You slingshot Michael’s dick with a rock you found. You jumped off Hangman’s Ridge into the lake. You made out with Zadkiel. You stole Dad’s Bible.”

“No,” Natalie gasped, but Lucifer was undeterred.

“You tied Gabe’s laces together and made him trip in front of Anthea. You tied Uriel to the flagpole.”

“How even— you know, I don’t wanna know how I did it. Is that… Is that it?”

Lucifer smirked. Natalie tensed.

“You flashed me, and we ended up in a bush hiding from Michael.”

“What… What did you dare me to do?” she asked, in a small voice. Some of what he’d said was actually pretty funny, but her head was still pounding and she couldn’t pull apart the good from the bad yet.

“You dared me to kiss you. And I don’t back out of dares, girl.”

There was some part of Natalie that was relieved that that was it. Another part of her, however, soured at his words.

“So it was part of a dare?” she asked, leaning back.

“Were you expecting something else?”

“No,” she said, too quickly. “Just… didn’t think all of this would just be the result of a silly dare, that’s all.”

“Silly, hmm?” He stood up, crossing the little bit of space between them until he was right in front of her. He slipped his finger beneath the thin scarf wrapped around her neck, and she went still as he unwound it.

“What are you doing?”

“Just taking a look at my handiwork,” he said, dropping his voice to match the breathy quality hers had taken on.

The hickeys started high on her neck and disappeared below the high collar of her T-shirt. He ran his thumb over one of the visible ones, and she shivered. He lowered his mouth to her ear.

“You know what I think?”

“...What?”

“I think… you were hoping for something more.”

“Wh… No, I wasn’t.” She wasn’t very convincing, and Lucifer was so close she felt him smirk against her ear.

“Are you sure? Drunk Natalie is fun, but all that’s gotta come from somewhere. I know Sober Natalie isn’t the devout little Christian girl I thought she was 8 weeks ago.”

“I…” She trailed off, hazy as his tongue traced the shell of her ear. She felt warm all over, and she couldn’t remember the taste of his lips but she wanted to.

“Natalie.”

“Hmm?”

There was a pause, deliberate and drawn out to make her squirm. He exhaled and her fingers curled into fists on her thighs.

“It’s time for service,” he finally said, and straightened up as a rush of kids passed by the window towards the small church housed at the edge of the camp. “You might want to pull yourself together first. You’re looking a little like you’ve been doing something you shouldn’t.”

He winked, and walked around her towards the door.

Natalie sat, shellshocked and unmoving for several beats.

“You jerk!” she finally yelled, once she’d gathered her wits about her. He was already out the door, but she heard him laugh nonetheless.