#i would post this on my main acc but eh

[thestainedglasspanes]

hello mcsm fandom. here are some amazing images i made

this one is for my jesse admin au. it's super complicated buuut i might start posting it soon

canon

KITTY

[zhonglicious]

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯. (𝐡𝐜𝐬)

☀ ft. ran haitani x reader

☀ warnings. mentions of fighting and making up. light angst i suppose? not sure if this warrants a warning, but mentions of chubby reader! honestly i think that's it, but lmk if i should add warnings for other topics!

☀ a/n. first post on this acc <33 honestly more ran centered than reader centered bc i love picking apart tr characters lol. probably not that coherent but eh <//3 wrote this bc i'm procrastinating on studying for my semi-finals lmfao <33 lowercase intentional btw!

❧ i just know ran would be the sweetest bf ever :((

❧ we're all in agreement his main love language is gift giving, yes? yes. i mean just look at him?? honestly i think he uses all of the love languages, but his main one is simply just gift giving

❧ we all know he's a rich man with no other way to spend his money than on his beloved. the gift giving is particularly heavy at the start of the relationship, as well as when he was still wooing you. like, i swear, you could not go a single week without finding a bouquet at your doorstep, or him offering you a pretty wrapped box

❧ even when you get further into the relationship, the gifts simply do. not. stop. it's less frequent now, yes, but it's still a little overwhelming sometimes. he doesn't hesitate to hand over his card or buy something you point out to him, all while he smiles and kisses the top of your head, telling you not to worry about how expensive it is

❧ another main love language for him is physical touch. he absolutely has to be holding some part of you at all times. of course, if you're not comfortable with his touch just yet, he's willing to wait for you to get used to him and trust him fully

❧ if you don't like pda, that's fine too! he doesn't mind keeping it lowkey in public, as long as he gets to shower you with affection once you get home <33

❧ he loves all body types, he just absolutely loves the feeling of you in his arms. although i just know that man prefers thicker people. but that's a topic for another post <33

❧ his favorite thing to do with you has to be those quiet, peaceful days where you two do nothing but lay in bed and just. do nothing

❧ not even watch a movie or anything, it's just. you and him with the curtains drawn. him holding you to his chest and playing with your hair, humming the song that's been stuck in his head, little things you've come to associate with him

❧ sometimes you think he just likes to feel your heartbeat, just to remind himself that you're here with him

❧ other activities he likes doing with you is playing games. especially when it's co-op games like minecraft or stardew. he absolutely must set his bed next to you btw, he just has to, sorry man i don't make the rules

❧ speaking of that, he's. very dramatic, yes.

❧ when it comes to small matters, he likes to whine at you, yes. you didn't say i love you to him today? "my baby doesn't love me anymore..." [fake sniffling] you ate the last of his food? [gasp] "how dare you-" [clutching his chest in offense]

❧ most of the time, he's not really serious, he just likes to see the way your face scrunches up at his antics. loves to laugh and flick your nose, before leaning down to kiss your forehead and apologize

❧ however, when you guys actually do fight, it's intense

❧ not in the way that there's screaming and yelling. although there is, sometimes, but most of the time it's surprisingly... quiet

❧ see, the thing about ran is that he internalizes a lot of things, and he's stubborn. all his life, especially with taking care of rindou, he's had to put on this facade of strength even when he's completely losing it

❧ so when you guys do fight, it's horrible because he doesn't want to back down from his stand. he takes a few days to cool off but once he does, he comes back and apologizes, however hard that is for him

❧ ran isn't used to love. he's always had to be tough and cold to make sure he and rindou survived. so it takes him a long time to deconstruct his walls and let himself be vulnerable to you, admit he was wrong. when that man says you're the better half of him, he means it, because you taught him how to open himself up to his loved ones, to stop being so on guard with everything in fear it might hurt him or his brother

❧ the same applies when he's feeling down. rather than talk about it, he'd rather isolate himself and push it all away, never to be seen again. it's a habit he's picked up from taking care of rindou, tbh. he doesn't want to worry you so he puts on a smile all the time

❧ but the moment you hug him and pat his head and tell him to let it all out, his breath hitches and the words finally come out, words he's had barring his throat all his life

❧ being in a relationship with ran can be rough, because he's still trying to figure out how to let himself be vulnerable around you. he's never had that luxury, to be able to put down his walls and not be hurt

❧ but i promise you that man is trying because he loves you, he loves how kind and caring you are, not just to him, but to the people around you

❧ so yes, to reiterate my first point, ran would be the sweetest bf ever, and i will forever stand by that <33

[daily-sadcholy]

OLD, DON'T LOOK!

////////////////////

🔷INFO & RULES🔷

Info About The Blog:

• Sadcholy made by @mirabean on Tumblr and Twitter. This character doesn't have a FNF mod yet and if it'll appear one day, I'll add it here. Keep in mind that Sadcholy is FNF related character. Gonna post more Saddy than on the main account, lol.

• This account running by only one person, who made Sadcholy as well. So you can understand that I can post not everyday due to life situations. It's not often when the creator makes daily blog of their character, eh?

• Even if being a creator, I won't post canon stuff everyday. You can say it's fanon or unofficial. These posts would have a special tag for it.

• Feel free to ask questions or give requests, when it's open ^^

• You can also say about your headcanon about Saddy. Who knows, maybe if I'd find it interesting, I'd make it canon...

• This blog would be on Tumblr only. There's more reasons... But it's just easier and more comfortable for me.

• Posts would be mostly with arts/drawings in it, but that's unregistered.

Rules Of The Blog:

• Mod is an adult, but you can't ask or suggest NSFW or inappropriated content. Even if you will, I won't post it, you know, lol. Exceptions if it's only jokes, but that depends...

• If needed, I will add more rules later in the future.

Tags:

#daily saddy - adding to my every posts on this account.

#daily au saddy - Sadd's AUs that can be official or just for fun.

#mod speaks - it's me talking to you, guys ^^

#mod ramble - not really to you, just my thoughts about stuff.

#saddy speaks - now it's Sadd talking to you... Feel free to ask questions to her too and don't mind her breaking 4th wall ^^

#mod announce - for any important stuff I need to say.

And other FNF related tags that can relate to other characters, who's not Saddy.

💙Special Thanks💙

@daily-acvoid - daily of fav character, inspiration, friendo, go follow em.

@/y010isaghost - the one who made daily void, go follow dis acc too.

@psychicthepsychic-daily - the one who made me decide to make a daily blog, teehee. Follow em.

@/lightgriffinsect - the one who made daily psychic, follow right now🔪.

[madaranuii]

YESSS he would so take you shopping to watch you change into skimpy clothes just to say no to see you plead and whine and give a yes to see her joy...

while shopping for panties n bras people would def mistaken him for your boyfriend... he'd def love the lacey sexy stuff on you yet i could see him lean towards more cute... like sexy for the special occasions

ALSO SO GLAD YOUR ENJOYING GENSHIN im not sure if your ar 16 yet but i can give you my uid for my main if youd like :3 buut id rather message it if u dont mind !!

I CANN AUGHH and imagine him holding her... cuddled up... against his chest as his head is by your ear speaking so closely

OMFGG HE WOULD, HE'D INWARDLY GET OFF SO MUCH ON U BEGGING 4 THE CLOTHES, ACTING ALL CUTE + POUTY (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)!!!

LMFAO THAT COULD GO EITHER 1 OF 2 WAYZ TBH W BEING ASSUMED 2 BE UR BF, HE'D EITHER BE LIKE "Eh? whatya' sayin? do we look nothin alike or somin'? that's fuckin weird last time I checked she was my daughter" ++ LIKE MAKE IT SO AWARE HEZ UR DAD INCASE THERES ANY PERVZ ABOUT ORR he'd fully embrace the role of being ur "boyfriend" - as a joke he'd tell u- but inwardly it'z 2 indulge in something he knowz he usually can't be in public hehez ++ it gives him so much leniency w/ being so bold since it'z not strange for bfz 2 be super touchy esp in a underwear store, so ass slapz + gropez aren't commented on ;333

++ WAAAAH IM NOT AR 16 YET SOBZ SOBZZ IM ONLY AR 8 I THINK?? BUT I CAN POST MY UID HERE IF IT'Z EASIER? :33 (none of my online friendz play genshin so I don't have 2 worry abt anythin like them finding out this acc through it!! ୧⁠(⁠＾⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠＾⁠)⁠୨ ᰔᰔ)

SPEAKIN OF GENSHIN . 1 OF THE NEW CHARAZ HAS ME FUCKIN ON MY HANDZ + KNEEZ ++ I KNOW FUCK ALL ABT HIM LMFAOOO I THINK HIS NAME IS WRIOTHESLEY... BUT HOLY FUCK......... DROOLZ... HEZ SO DILF CODED IN DESIGN... IF ONLY GENSHIN DIDN'T GIVE LITERALLY EVERY 1 BABY FACES WEEPZSOBZ THAT DUDE NEEDZ 2 HAVE DILF LOOK W STUBBLE OR SOMETHIN ..... he's real fuckin hot thou....... HEART EYEZ...

[i23kazu]

hiiii im back!!! it's writing anon!!

i did it i posted a fic!!!!!!!!!!!! i tagged you hehe ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

also i would love to be moots........ but my writing blog is a sideblog and we're already moots on my main acc............ you can try and guess who i am ehe~

(aka your girl forgot you can't follow from sideblogs so she's improvising- ヾ(^ ∀ ^;)ﾉ)

have a good day/night!!

YOUUUUU !!! the fic has been queued to my reblog blog omg IT WAS SO CUTE I LOVE POCKY FICS !!

and.. im trying SO HARD to figure out who you are and my brain is simply not ghsjkkjkajjkakja today (i blame my husband) !! do i get hints pretty please are you in my server / in astronetwrk T^T

[flwoie]

eh im actually kinda not okay but i will be 💞🥰 enhypen has rlly been getting me through it tho, they’re one of the few things that make me happy these days 🥺😊 (so yes, these wonnies are super appreciated 🥺 i watched his dance jam w seungie and it made me think of u and i~! wonnie and seungie biases just collectively crying over these cuties dancing to rover 😭💗)

okay i wanna unveil myself when i post the fic but…based on how it’s going it may be slightly past the deadline if that’s okay?? it’s a LONG ONE!! so i may unveil myself sooner so we can…discuss…some things? i’m tryna make it as customized to u as possible, so a lot of the major decisions the reader makes, i want to be decisions u would make urself! that’s why it’s taking me a bit longer to write it 😅💞

omg u have a few blogs in mind?? which ones lol im intrigued!! i won’t give it away but there are some things to note:

1.) we did not know each other before this event 2.) we have some groups in common but besides enha there were none we liked/knew abt strongly enough to be friends over them and 3.) i messed up and accidentally interacted w u OFF anon ON MY MAIN by complete accident so uh yeah. u prolly know unless u got a bunch of interactions that day and my acc got lost in them 😅

ooh that’s so cool abt ur name! i quite like the first one too hehe! it def suits the story. now that i know this next step…it gets even more interesting, im so sorry 😭

take care darling!! next ask i think i might unveil myself~ we’ll see tho! 👀 no promises 😉

qotd: how long have u been an engene for? were u part of their iland days too?

for me, i was there when iland came out but the show’s format rlly upset me and i lost interest in kpop for a hot minute. then came back and now look at me. i’ve never been so attached to a group before besides when i first found kpop 😭

have a good night!! i adore you~!!

-3

THREEE!! it’s fine if post it past the deadline, take ur time, i’ll wait 🫶🫶 and i can’t wait to finally see who u are 🤭🤭

well there were two blogs i had in mind, honour (skyjoong) and the one i’m writing for which i can’t say yet lmaoo, i’ll be surprised if you’re not the one i had in mind 😭😭 and i just saw the hints u gave out and i’m gonna look through my tags 🤨 #curious

and ooh i love a cliché story! is there gonna be a sad ending? i’m a sucker for those 😭

answering time!!

tbh i can’t remember when i became an engene 🤷 i was there when iland came out but i gave up on the first episode and i told myself i’d start stanning the final lineup THEN I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THEM UNTIL A YEAR OR TWO LATER, A FRIEND OF MINE WAS INTRODUCING ME TO THEM and yeah, that’s how i became an engene. not too long ago tbh cause i was a big moa during those times

it’s ironic cause i’m answering this at night but gn three <33

[jesswritesthat]

hellooo can i request smth w nishinoya please 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 so he meets y/n in the park bc shes tryna learn how to skateboard for the first time and he sees her fall and is like OMGKDKSKSK ARE U OKAY (she is, she was wearing knee pads and shit) anyways so they become friends and hang out and then start dating and NOBODY on the team believes noya bagged a cutie bc she’s super smart and studious but she’s lowkey so chaotic and loves trying new things (hence her new years resolution to learn to skateboard am i basing this off me you’ll never know) and she’s always dragging him out to new places in miyagi, maybe they even catch trains to tokyo and stuff omg ANYWAYS she goes to another school but noya and tanaka have exams soon and noya’s like “my gf is super smart!! and organized! she’ll help!!!) and they acc meet her there and she’s super friendly and cracks jokes so noya and tanaka are like “this will be a BREEZE” but she does NOT fuck around w school so she flips a switch like “how do you NOT have a schedule for your exams??? omg how do you keep organized??” tanaka and noya: “👀👁👁 we don’t,,,” and she won’t slack off w noya just bc they’re dating KFKSKSKS. bonus points if she has a notion account bc i’m obsessed w organizing everything in my life w mine, it’s acc an issue. ofc no pressure bc this is SUPER long, headcannons or drabble is all up to you babes!! ❤️

A/N: Omgggg yes! I freaking love Nishinoya, this is a cute request I’m loving it. I hope your skateboarding is going well and OH WOW I wish I could be as organised as you. Gifted anon.

>>>>——————————>

Meeting and Studying with Nishinoya Yū Headcanons:

• Resolutions. This was it, you were going to stick to this one. Hence why you warily balanced on a skateboard about to plummet to your doom - it'll be fine...

• Until your board went scuttling across the pavement leaving you in it's dust, with no intention of returning, much to your aggravation.

"WOAH ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU HURT - THAT WAS A TRIP AND A HALF! A-" It was probably the loudest voice you'd heard, with a blonde tuff hovering over you in seconds.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, please calm down!"

• With an apologetical smile, the boy pulled you to your feet, introducing himself as Nishinoya Yū. A contrastingly shyer tone than that previously, including the heat rising on his features.

"Sorry, I saw you fly and panicked, then I actually saw you and..."

"And...?" You parroted, brushing yourself and kneepads off with a lazy smile.

"And I thought you seemed nice, can't have a nice person getting hurt, right?"

• Now you’ve actually met, you start noticing each other a lot more since he trains on the court near the skatepark. Nishinoya will offer a greeting or wave as he passes, not being brave enough to imitate conversation yet but you both work up to that.

• Eventually you meet up after you’ve finished skateboarding and Volleyball respectively, or assist the other in their independent practices once you grow comfortable. He’ll hold you to balance on the board, in return you throw balls for him to receive/dig.

• The sparks of romantic connection are there and soon your hangouts begin to mirror dates, just without the classification. You’ll do things outside of the park, like getting food or venturing to some cool place one of you had heard of.

• It's an adventure everyday with him, you were known to explore the streets of Miyagi - you'd found all of the skateparks, dropped into Ukais' store every so often much to his 'annoyance' and even got yourselves train passes.

• His team honestly do not believe him, even if the lovestruck grin he wears whenever he speaks of you is eerily convincing.

Asahi give him the benefit of the doubt, hence why he and Tanaka are the first to see a picture of you. Hinata also trusts in his Senpai, and Ukai begrudgingly confirms your existence having met you.

• Ōsaka? Been there. Yokohama? The dock has an amazing view. Tokyo? Some of the best Cafés in Japan. You could tell he had a sense of adventure, and you doubted Japan would keep him for long.

• It wasn't unusual for Nishinoya to come in with weird snacks or mementos for the team.

"Eh? Noya, where'd you get this?" Tanaka questions his bright friend, the item foreign of Miyagi garnering his attention.

"(Y/n) and I went to Tokyo the other day!"

"Without me?!" It seems you had a self-proclaimed Third Wheel™ on your hands now. You didn’t mind, his friends were pretty amazing.

• They first properly hear/met you when Karasuno are planning for exams, and Tanaka, Nishinoya, Kageyama and Hinata are the main concerns due their lack of academic prowess - Noya is a sparkling ray of sunshine though.

"We got this Ryuu! My partner is super smart, and can help us study!"

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that you met (Y/n)?"

• Nishinoya calls you in the midst of chaos, voice all too happy to hear yours with the echoes of Karasuno muttering greeting in the background.

"Hey gorgeous! Think you could help Tanaka and I study? I'll buy your favourite foods as a thank you!"

"Yeah, it'll be useful for me too."

"(Y/N)-CHAN SAID YES!"

An array of cheers swarmed the phone causing you to wince, it's not like you were getting married but clearly the grades of these two were a problem.

• Nevertheless, the pair rocked up to your house with more snacks than study material - a twitch of your eye sent to them in disbelief. It only gets worse when you set up and ask about their preparations.

• "You... you don't have an exam schedule?"

"Nope~" They're far to gleeful about it and it's setting you on edge, honestly your heart is spasming at how uncoordinated they are. With no worries about it.

"Then how do you stay organised?"

A moment of silence passes, the two noting the pensive shift in atmosphere and meet your unnerved gaze with blank stares.

"...We don't...?"

.

.

.

• The slam of your head hitting the desk made them jump, a pained groan escaping as you took a much needed deep breath. This is gonna be tough.

• Nishinoya is quick-thinking, so he innocently leans in to kiss you as a distraction and a reward once you get on with the study session. Only, you whip out of the way so fast, the boy nearly face-plants the floor.

"(Y-y/n)?! What the heck was that for?" He’s pouting at you, puppy eyes sent your way as he catches himself whilst you simply sigh.

"No kisses until we're done studying."

"None? Like at all?! How am I gonna survive?"

"HAHA you got rejected SO HARD!" Tanakas laughter echoes around the room, the Spikers hand slapping your table in amusement.

"I don't recall you finishing your page either Tanaka-san." An expectant brow is raised his direction, a quick awkward cough sputtering from him with Nishinoya issuing a subtle smug smirk.

"...no, I'm - uh, I'm doing it..."

• You’ve set them up Notion accounts to keep themselves in check whilst you’re not around because honestly, you lacked the trust they’d do it themselves. They’re grateful though, hence the array of snacks/flowers (and screenshots of their revision) you received.

• Boys ACE their exams and come bombing into you after school thanking you and praising your organisation skills like a shrine. Then Yū catches you off guard with an excited kiss to your lips.

"You owe me~"

Yeah he's kinda right, and how could you deny?

• The whole Volleyball team is apparently really proud. Daichi politely requests if you could help Hinata and Kageyama too - but Yū swoops in promising to spare them. Or keep you to himself. It’s undecided...

• Either way, he’s all too glad to treat you to a trip to Tokyo - having found this cool Cat Café or skatepark online, the choice is yours. It’s his personal way of saying thank you for just being you.

Of course, Tanaka saw one of the pictures you posted and proceeded to text.

[ Without me?! 😫]

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[jisxngie]

mutual / friend appreciation post !!

so because i love all of my buds in my groupchats and all of my mutuals, id like to thank some people for making the late half of my 2017 super fun !!!

==

@felixmosquito kate sksndksk where would i be without you my constellation angel ???? you're so nice and sweet and you're always concerned about me whenever it seems like something's wrong. you're so super pretty too !!! as well as being one of my v few aussie internet friends !!! im so glad we grew close and i hope that one day we'll be able to meet in person !!

@stanstraykidsstantalent rose,,, ,, boi i love you <33 you're hilarious and an amazing person with a beautiful soul !!! thank you for always giving us advice and overall just being a wonderful person in general !! ksnsmsks im still crying over your sparknotes ver of my au that made my year tbh

@douxzi maE SKNSKD ive literally only known you for like a month or so but we've already become really good friends (thank you rose :'>>) and i really hope it stays this way for a v long time !!!! thank you for always brightening my day whether it's by making a joke or just by complimenting me !!! however i dont think im alive after all of those pictures of ten you sent to the gc ksnsksk

@lollipopp3725 fath !!! i love you !!!! thank you for always being so enthusiastic about a lot of things and thank you for always being honest to us in the group chats <33 and thank you so much for helping me with my minsung au !!! i really only thought that this would be us just talking about it and inputting random shit that we felt would go with the storyline :'>> but now we're actually writing it and im really happy about it !!!

@3rachaa neha,,,, what an angel yall go give her some appreciation bc she deserVES IT SKSMKSN i really havent talked to you as much as the others but i still feel as if we've become really close compared to before when i literally had like no friends on this site lmAOSKNSSK i love you !!!

@seungminty mar my favourite fellow sungjin stan !!! thank you for always coming up with bomb ass au ideas in the gc and for always showing your love for sungjin sksnaldn it makes me soft bc of how much you gush over him jsns i relate

@jeonginsbracessavedmylife georgie,, the group chat's mum,,, i love and appreciate you with all my heart <333 thank you for always looking after us since you're the oldest in the gc and thank you for always being so responsible and caring and willing to listen to us <33 please stay safe and healthy !!!

@str4y-k1ds austin,, , thank you for being such a warm and comfortable person to talk to nksnsjs you're like one of my only male friends and im gonna treasure that fact bc im usually really nervous and tend to get really shy around boys sksndka (at least on the internet i am oof)

@mosquitofelixsfreckles lee !! when you see this please know that i thank you for always being such a nice person !!! you're also another one of my few male friends and honestly ily !!! you always look 105% great n soft in photos and i hope you stay happy n healthy !! if you need anything please come talk to me or one of the others in our gcs, we're always willing to help :>>

@dirtysuburbs haruuu, ,, , thank you for being relatable as hell and thank you for being such a great person in general !!!! you always look so great in the photos you send to us and hh,, , i wish i had hair like yours but i prolly wouldnt suit it (eh maybe ill cut it after i move out idk) but thank you !!! you're doing a good job !!

@hellavator emily ksndkdj where do i start ??? okay first of all girl you cute af and secondly thank you for acting so mature at your age (youre literally my age but im so immature sigh,,) youre like a steady rock in our group ?? like a support ??¿ does that make sense skbsksk anYway i love you and stay healthy and make sure you dont get sick !!

@stray6 daphne,, , my girl, my fellow stray kids and day6 stan,,, i love you so much adnsksnd thank you for always making us smile !!! you always hype us up when we send selfies to the gc and always argue against us whenever we say we look ugly in a certain picture or something <333 please stay as sweet and as amazing as you are now !!

@busanschubs vale !! honestly you arent that active in our gc but hey at least whenever binu is mentioned youre there in a flash right ?? lmao anYwAyS we havent talked a whole lot but id just like to thank you for always making sure to pop into the gc every so often to see whats happening and so that we know that youre actually still alive lmao i love you !!!

@straykeeds guan min the Angel™ and also the og gc member who is in basically every gc !!!! ksnsks girl youre so lovely and wonderful and really really nice like sksnsks when will any of my school friends ever get to that standard dam n but thank you for being such a wonderful friend and thank you for always making us happy with your presence !!! we all love you !!!

@jahehyung lu,, , , we havent talked in so lo n g omg but i still love you !!! you were a big part of my 2017 and you're seriously one of the sweetest human beings i know ksndk im so sorry i dont use my main acc that often anymore !!! :'<< but thank you for being there for me and thank you for blessing the day6 fandom and me with your Perfect™ writing !!!!

and to all my mutuals and all of my friends who i sadly couldn't fit into this post:

thank you. each and every one of you has made me so so happy these past couple of months and i really couldn't be any happier that i joined this fandom !!! you all deserve the best for your studies, work, and your physical as well as mental wellbeing. please always remain happy and healthy and remember that i love you all !!!!

let 2018 be a good year for all of us !!!

love,

your golden maknae, vita <333

[minyardcva]

tagged by @hajiiwa, thank youu! <3333

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

it’s Minyardova, which means Minyard’s lol

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

Warm me up has the most hits, Milkbread of close death has the most kudos, King and lionheart has the most subscriptions and bookmarks

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s oikawa! idk, i guess since he’s my all time fave :’)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yeah, a couple of them and it makes me so happy every time i see their comments :D

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Super spy husbands by leurauxe i read the series about five times and it never gets boring

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

not subscribed to any;;;

i started bookmarking fics on my google acc before i made an ao3 acc, so i don’t really bookmark on ao3, but on my google acc i have entire folders where i separate the fics lol i’m scared to know how much i have bookmarked there

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i guess domestic fluff ‘cause i’m a sucker for my happy faves

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

7 users subscribed, 36 subscriptions and 69 bookmarked :DD

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

i don’t really think so? I’m kinda scared to write andreil since i don’t want to make them ooc, but everything else is fine

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

writing more serious scenes and updating better, i feel so embarrassed by my updating speed..

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well so far i’ve only written iwaoi :’)

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

11~

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ohhh too many really

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i tend to write down outlines, just so i don’t forget the main stuff

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

nope :(

16. How did you discover AO3?

i guess when i first started reading iwaoi fics

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah :’D

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

nope

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

@frenchibi!! i have so many of her works bookmarked and one day i just decided ‘hey, i wanna try this, too’ so thank you!!!

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

hmmm

don’t be afraid to try new things! it may seem difficult at first and you’ll want to give up, but things will get better! 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot them out, but while i’m writing things change sometimes.

King and lionheart was supposed to be a one shot inspired by I see the light from Tangled but it somehow spiraled into a multichap and I have no idea how that happened 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

nope

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

angst, i guess, and action

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

King and lionheart

a college au

a really angsty one based on my dream

many many prompts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

..............yes.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah, i write when i feel like it and when inspiration strikes

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

oh yes, since my first ‘fics’ were 1d imagines on facebook pages 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Can’t help falling in love and I’m sad it didn’t get as much attention as I wanted/expected, but eh :’)

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

I know, I don’t even know what I wanted to do with it????

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure, i hope i’ll improve and maybe start my own thing

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i really like describing things, the feel and smells and textures and sounds ahhhh

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

tbh i don’t know, really. Sometimes I’ll be able to write down one type of scene fairly easily, but the other time my brain will get stuck and i’ll rage quit :/

33. Why do you write?

for fun! and i really like playing with words and all the possibilities you can come up with

[epicstudyings]

[ sort of official ] introduction of epicstudyings !!

introduction:

my name is ash (it’s a nickname, and what i like to be called)

currently living and studying in india (an ib school)

i’m in ninth grade, which in ib is myp year four

i’m fourteen, a pisces, i am an enfj, and a slytherclaw

my worst subject is english (it’s not that bad but eh) and i fail at anything to do with analytical/critical writing. my niche is descriptive/stories

my favorite subjects currently are math and science. to be specific, extended math, chemistry, and physics. i’m taking biology this year isn’t as great as the last since the teacher changed.

math is JUST UGH WOW i love it, even though i had trouble last year

chemistry and physics have always been loves of mine (physics since grade eight) because well idek but they’re gr8

i take french as my third language (i’m bilingual, english and hindi)

i lived in america most of my life, so ib is pretty new to me

one idea for my personal project next year is to design a three dimensional printable organ (lil far fetched but ya know how it is)

hobbies etc:

i like movies like nerve, now you see me, pitch perfect... all over the place really (hello have you seen dave franco)

i love grey’s anatomy, the good wife, pretty little liars, teen wolf, and more shows

i have a dog named marley, she’s a cavachon and she’s a cutie

i like to play volley ball, and would like to start playing soccer

i sing, and am going to start taking lessons soon. i played violin for a long time, piano for some and a bunch of other instruments

i’m an indoors person and don’t go out much LMAO

i like classical artists like yiruma, i also like kiiara, major lazer, and barkley. newest obsession is latin pop like cnco, anitta, etc. (not despacito omg) and i also like shawn mendes, ruelle, etc. etc

current favorite song is waves by dean lewis

goals:

to stop procrastinating oH mY gOd

to study more and harder (it used to be fun but ever since i don’t have time it’s been difficult)

to manage my time muCh better

two main career ideas, investment banker or neurosurgeon

would like to go to harvard like HRUEWHQH 

i would like to live in new york or italy

ITALY IS MY FAVORITE PLACE (rome in particular)

short term; develop my voice, and play a sport

fascinations:

poetry (particularly of the empowering sort)

feminism

indian culture

skincare

equality for all

MATH MATH MATH MATH

currently algebra

occasional writing

doodling

graphic design

inspirations:

definitely the first studygram which later linked me to the studyblr community, studyholmes on ig. one of the sweetest people i know!

@emmastudies i love all of her wallpaper (omG!!!) and notes

@studyquill gorgeous notes and so organised wow

@bstudies MY FIRST FREN ON HERE THANK YOU!

@kuroristudies definitely one of the best feeds on tumblr

@studyign such a nice acc with an amazing youtube as well

@tbhstudying honestly just an amazing account overall 

@mildlineurs such BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING wowoowow

@areistotle hands down best masterposts in the land

@yoanxue the best mix of helpful and gorgeous

@gloomstudy SGAIHAJDJ just love everything!1!1

@thecampusghost such a nice feed with helpful posts

and there are so many others that i’m too lazy to tag!

yay!! i’m glad i finally did this (sorry i’m late!) and thank you for four hundred... honestly means the world that a few of you like this blog. anyways, i hope you have a great day!!

[nrjacobs-blog]

First post! The post that hurts the most.

So, this is my first post. I made this page so people could follow my footsteps for anyone who is interested in my journey from bum to someone.

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of quite some time. This isn’t really supposed to be a sob fest but the breakup was pretty bad. I had to leave the home we shared together in London. I had to quit my job (for reasons I won’t get into here!) and obviously worst of all, I lost the person I love and my best friend. You can’t really explain what it’s like to go from talking to someone everyday for the last 5 years to having no contact with them at all. It’s quite something I have to say and I don’t wish anyone through it.

So this leads me up to where we are at. I’m unemployed, homeless, and needing direction. This blog is as much as anything an open discussion regarding depression. Something that unfortunately I’ve suffered with for a number of years and I fear may have hastened the demise of my relationship.

My key aim is to show how, hopefully, with a plan and some direction anyone out there who feels lost or alone or sad can push themselves. I’m really trying to steer away from this being a cheesy, feel good thing with loads of montages of me running up staircases in the rain to an 80s sound track. Life isn’t all sunshine and farts and I’m very aware of this. I’ve been that guy who has just given up. Lying in bed for days, weeks. Fluctuating weight. No drive. No interest in my own wellbeing or safety. I’m no saint. I can’t lie and say this was something I convinced myself to do easily. I didn’t. I spent a good month after the breakup basically not living and simply passing time. I didn’t have an interest in having “another go at it” as everyone told me I should.

So as much as anything it’s a blog for family and friends and like minded people to try and keep me on track. Encourage. And also to help those who feel as alone as I feel sometimes. Let’s push forward together and see what we can do, eh?

At this current stage it’s Wednesday the 31st of May, 00:41 hours and I’m at my Dad and step-mums house in the village of Westonzoyland. Came here on Friday night so we could go to a gig together on the Sunday in the nearest town of Bridgwater. It’s a special place is ‘Bridgy’. You notice there is no 'E’ in the word Bridgwater and I notice there about 2 or 3 chromosomes too many in the people who frequent the town.

On the Sunday we went to said gig. It was good to see some live music. I’m a musician myself so I do enjoy a good live band. Maybe one day I’ll play you a song on here? (I won’t play you a song on here)

At the gig I met a girl working behind the bar. She was stunning! Blonde hair, no makeup on at all. Her skin was porcelain and had no imperfections. She wore dark red lipstick to accentuate her skin tone and her eyes were deep and blue. Huge eyelashes! Sorta eyes you lose a summer in as Morgan Freeman might say. Sounds better if you read that last line in a Morgan Freeman voice and pretend you’re in jail.

But anyway. Part of the new me I decided if, when we leave, I find myself one on one with this girl I’m going to ask for her phone number and tell her how beautiful she is. As we left the bar I knew she was outside and deep down I wanted her to be with someone to spare my blushes. She was alone…

So I waited and waited and then when I couldn’t wait any longer I finally drew the courage to speak to her. I approached her and said “This is a strange one and not something I’ve done before, but I just think you’re so beautiful. Do you think it wouldn’t be too rude of me to ask for your phone number?”

To my dismay she said yes! I handed her my phone and she proceeded to enter in the digits. She then said “You’re very brave” Winked and walked off back into the bar. I checked the number and it was, at first glance, legit. The right amount of digits. I saved the number. 'Rachel’ was her name or at least what she said it was in my contacts.

I text her that night. Giving her my name and apologising again for how I approached her. We text most of the evening until I fell asleep. In the morning I awoke to a text message from her explaining that she had tried to look me up on Facebook, twitter and instagram and her search had come back blank. I told her this was because I had no social media as I didn’t really believe it was healthy or natural. Something I’ve always thought ever since I had a MySpace page and felt like I was sat up for hours on end stalking a girl I was seeing at the time as she would go radio silent for chunks of time. I didn’t like the way it made me act so I deleted it, ended it with her and swore off it for life.

And from here on in the conversation slowly tailed off. She asked me to get snapchat. I politely declined. She asked me how she could trust me when I had no digital foot print online. I told her most of the internet is basically a who’s who of dirty old boys hiding behind avatars online, pretending to be sexy 16 year olds and pop stars (my god kids are getting sexier) and surely meeting me in person and asking me what she couldn’t find out online would be safer as she can see who I really am.

I was blocked today on iMessage and WhatsApp at 15.31 hours.

And the reason it seems was because I like my privacy and wish more people would appreciate theirs. I didn’t want to send her pictures of my head or what I’m about to eat. Or a meme of some kid doing a thing while holding a thing. And that was enough to deem me undateable. A really strange situation to find yourself in and, if I’m honest, one that made me quite depressed and low for most of the evening. I know I’d only met her once and if I hadn’t of asked for her number you never would of known what could of happened. But unfortunately not knowing anything in this instance is better than knowing something. Which seems so often the case these days.

Alas, depression still hanging heavy like a dulling wine I have to look to the next few days to keep my spirit up. I have been staying with my friend, Jane, since I returned to the southwest of England and it’s been fantastic seeing her again after too long without her. Unfortunately finding work in the area she lives is hard especially when you have no money to start with and this means I’m on the move again.

Tomorrow afternoon I move into my new home for the next few months with my Brother and his girlfriend. I can’t explain to you how excited and grateful I am for them allowing me the chance. It gets me closer to work opportunities and closer to good friends, and most importantly it gets me closer to them and makes me feel safe. And I cant stress enough how when you suffer from depression knowing that you’re safe and there are people you can talk to, or even just sit in silence with, can change your whole mindset for the better.

Ahhhh thank you, Jane! I will see you over the next few weekends to cook for you!

Finally, the main part of the blog. The direction part. When I got back to the southwest I sat at my mums house the first few days and had a good hard look at myself. I’ve never really done anything I wanted to do. Always changing my mind at the last second or encountering shit luck or playing it safe. I thought to myself “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I don’t want to be the guy coming home back to his mum and his dad with his tail between his legs and them thinking here we go again.

So I decided I was going to follow a dream I always had as a kid. To join the forces. I didn’t mind who it was, Army, Navy, the RAF; I was going to pick myself up off the floor, get fit and get out of here and do something meaningful with my life.

At this stage my applications are in with all three. The Army have got back to me and I’ve been sponsored to the Taunton ACC to have interviews, hopefully about going in as an officer. But if not I’ll be a grunt. I’m not choosey. I also finalised my RAF application to try and become a weapons operator working on aircraft. This has only just been submitted but I’ll keep you posted!

Sorry this was such a long one. It won’t happen again. But do check back to see my progress and hopefully have a good larf and some serious chats.

Love love Nicholas

[actuallyschizoid]

You say a lot about Russia being such a bad place to live in, but why won't you leave it if you don't like it?

Yeah, I mention it occasionally in my posts. Generally not because I really like to mention Russia in any context (I don’t) or have any intention to make it sound like I’m complaining. But just because without this context a lot of what I say wouldn’t make much sense.

Like, why won’t I use some meds to help with ADD symptoms that I have along with szpd, and probably stop being useless piece of human junk whenever it comes to focussing on something important that I need to do? Well, there’s just one reason: all those meds are prohibited in this country and there’s no way to get them prescribed.

Or why is it such a big deal to keep my real name hidden? What are all those anon nicknames and over ten mailboxes are for? Why won’t I use it whenever I got a slightest chance to not use it? Why won’t I post my phone number and never allow access to my contacts to any app despite not having paranoid comorbid? Why my real name social networks accs are just about empty and I never actually use them?

Yeah, well it’s not just because I prefer to stay seclusive and don’t like when different people I know have a chance to know what I like, which sites I visit, what other people I might talk to and what are my interests. That’s also an important matter, but for the most part it’s for the safety reasons. Because I don’t really feel like risking it. There are already hostile groups trying to lure gay people out and beat them, so there’s no guarantee there won’t be similar group hunting any non-cis-straight people or schizoid people or just generally anyone who doesn’t fit in. Even if it’s far from highly probable scenario, would I leave those trails behind me when it’s not that hard to stay anon whenever possible, use Tor for confidential stuff, not cross-link different anon entities, etc.

Now, why wouldn’t I just leave? Well, it’s not exactly that I’m opposed to that idea in the essence. Actually, that’s something I plan for about as long as I remember. 

The main issue being my parents, whom I can’t leave behind. Which is another reason why being schizoid can really suck on occasion: if you happen to form attachment, there’s little to do about it. You don’t even have to feel attached to be incapable to just toss people to trash and keep on living. Somehow it works for non-schizoid people who position themselves as empathetic and emotional to just send their old parents to slowly die a horrible death in dirty wet sheets in some shitty facility that “takes care” of people who are no longer needed. Or just leave them leaving alone to live on $200 a month government benefit (yes, that’s the approximate sum old people here are suggested to live for). 

And somehow, despite lacking empathy, I don’t think I would ever be that cruel. I know it’s just about equals a murder and no, just the fact that it’s impossible to be condemned for, I’ve no intention to do such a thing even if at expense of a few years of my life. 

But let’s suppose that’s not/no longer a problem. What’s stopping me from moving somewhere? Yeah, well… technically only the fact that even all my financial resources combined, I guess I could afford some small flat in not-too-expensive country. But, being schizoid and all that, I have some solid doubts I’d be able to sustain the life there, having no high education, no proper skill or experience, and, most importantly, being limited by szpd in communication, working with/alongside other people, etc. So even if I manage to get out somehow, I have a high chance to starve to death on new place (though, to be honest, I have a rather high chance of the same fate here eventually, since without all the above the only difference is that here I have some property to give for a rent).

 And since getting married is not an option (coz asexuality and just general schizoidness), the only way for me to move somewhere is probably investment. For that I’d have to farm some money first. And that wouldn’t exactly be a problem if I had a good motivation — but that’s the big IF. Since my motivation is always at the bottom, just being theoretically able to come up with some smart solution how to get some money without going out of home and talking to people face to face (I have a few ideas even, and few have proven viable), I end up wasting day after day being stuck in the bed with a laptop doing absolutely nothing. >.> And that’s unlikely to change, really… 

So, I hope that answers your question, anon. Btw, while I don’t make any assumptions, first thought I had when I saw that message was “that sounds a lot like what russian people say to me whenever the russia-sucks subject comes up”. We even have this meme/saying, approximately translated as “suitcase, airport, ” — meaning something like “if you don’t like it here — don’t complain that something is wrong with this country, just get the fuck out to your favorite EU/US/whatever if you think there is better, you’ll sure be welcomed there *sarcasm*”. The ones to say that usually understand the ridiculousness of their suggestion and mean to say “don’t be picky, keep living in hell like everyone else, we suffer so you should too, but try if you want — you’ll fail just like we would”. Or perhaps you just live in some proper place and not quite aware that it’s not exactly just a matter of buying a ticket to move somewhere else. 

Eh, sorry about wall of text that is only somewhat relevant to the subject, but I can’t really answer with “fuck off” in two words — it has to be wall-of-text sized. ^^’